Mission Undwarfable

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>>293719
Str: 7
Agi: 2
Int: 8
Sne: 3
I have no idea what you mean be an image to represent our character, but I'll use this one.

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>>293719
Sne: 10
Str: 2
Agi: 4
Int: 4

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>>293719
>Str, 6
>Agi, 4
>Int 4
>Sne(ak)6

>>293728
>>293729
>>293730

The rock grate gives in and drops to the stone floor with a thud, our three thieves
jump down from the vent, ready to claim the treasure

this is as far as the vents will get them, the corridor infront of them has
many engarivings on it's walls of creatures and bandits being ripped to pieces by
dwarven traps, the floor looks a bit.. woky, some of the floorplates are obviously preassure sensitive,
how do you continue down the suspicious hallway?

Note: my ip will bhange in 20 mins, dont be alarmed

>>293733
Throw a skull or rock on the pressure plate to see what happens.

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>>293733
Calculate a plan to get there safely!

>>293734
That's cool do we have any equipment or anything?

>>293733
Lets get >>293728
to work, he has the highest int.

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>>293737
>>293738
Alright, dudes! How're gonna get this here treasure?

>>293741
Im not really smart, I actually have quite the hard time not s-stuttering oh damn it all.

We could, maybe, try to trigger floorplates from a distance? What do we have to work with?

>>293744
Yeah! We'll throw shit at it! then stand far back

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>>293744
I have a burger in my pocket. I could use that!

>>293747
Where the fuck did you get a burger?! we starved all the way up a mountain to get here and you have a burger!?

>>293746
>>293747
Let's just, you know, stand VERY back. Just because sharp things tend to make holes.

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>>293750
Yeah...? I always bring one with me.
>>293752
Nah, sounds boring.

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>>293750
I think the answer would be the key to a rising tsunami of boiling rage.

So let's focus on the plates. =w=

...for now

>>293735
The preassure plate clicks
and a crossbow bolt whizzes past the air at torso level

>>293737
Good point, everyone pick 2 peices of equippment

>>293756
Lantern
Rope

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>>293756
A gun and a hookshot-thing-whatever!
Also, look around a bit more. Maybe there's something that we're missing?

>>293756
uhh pilfered war ax and rope with a grapnel work? (20ft?)

>>293758
>>293759
>>293760
Lantern
Rope (20ft)
a grappling hook for the rope
single-shot gun with 5 bullets
aand a hamburger

share it, use it

Looking around behind you are a pair of sealed stone doors, locked tight,
the end of the trapped hallway has a downward stairway, in the direction of your goal

How will you proceed?

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>>293762
Walk slowly down the hallway.

>>293762
Soldier crawl down the hallway.

>>293762
We go for the stairway slowly while scouting with the lantern. We send >>293728
first because of his strenght, since stealth would be pointless if I'm holding the lantern.

...that, or we tackle the doors until our shoulders or the rocks break.

>>293763
>>293765
>>293766

So, >>293766 follows >>293763 down the hallway, while >>293765
crossess prone.

>>293763
Roll D10 (-3 agi modifier) to attempt to dodge triggered traps

>>293765
Roll D10 (+1 sneak modifier) to attempt the crawl and not trigger anything along the way

>>293766
Is safe for now

Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>293768
God, don't fail me now...

Rolled 2 + 1 (1d10 + 1)

>>293768

>>293769
It's like you are dodging arrows and bolts like Neo.

>>293769
So it's 17 then?
Sweet! For once I'm athletic...
>>293771
All that training paid off!

>>293769
Bolts, arrows, axe heads, hammers and chaiend beasts
swing and claw from the walls, but the human
manages to dodge them all, the traps are spent and the two
cross the hallway

>>293770
The goblin triggers a trap, a stone boulder falls from the ceilingo nto him
roll D10 (+1 str modifier) to attempt to catch the boulder

or

D10 (-1 agi modifier) to attempt rolling out of the way

Rolled 4 + 1 (1d10 + 1)

>>293775
STRONK!

>>293776
Using your graan goblin hands
you manage to catch the boulder in your hands, with only a little
"crack" in your shoulder, but it doesent hurt, so it's safe to continue

Using acrobatics, common sense and STRONK you all manage
to reach the downwards stairway,

continue downstairs, but watch out, the dwarves are cunning trappers

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>>293777
Using the power of math, dodge all the traps in a very specific fashion!

>>293777
Sneak hard down the steps looking out for pressure plates.

>>293782
Let me do this. Sneaking!

>>293779
>>293782
>>293784

As soon as you step onto the stairs, the door to the stairs closes shut and a cage
containing a big, mad minotaur is opened behind them, the stairs to the bottom look
like quite along trip

What to do?

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>>293786
Shoot him.

>>293786
Lasso that big bitch with the rope.

>>293788
also Tying the end of rope to my belt RODEO TIME!

>>293786
Pray.

>>293787
Roll D10 (-3 agi) to load the gun and shoot in a quick reaction

>>293789
roll D20 (+1 str, -1agi) To lasso the beast and hold onto it

>>293790
roll D10 (-1 Int) to attempt to appeal to your god for protection

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>293794

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>293794
Here we go!

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>293794

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>293796
Oh, wait...

>>293795

The lasso slips onto the minotaur's neck, a quck struggle later,
there's a rodeo down in the deep, as minotaur and goblin tumble down the stairs,
with the minotaur taking most of the hits

>>293798
Follows the commotion downstairs and shoots at the resisting minotaur,
the bullet hits it's buttocks, the beast howls loud, the roar echoes trough the
cavern

>>293797
The gods bless you, as the minotaur hits the bottom floor, the panic from being
tied up and shot in the ass is too much for the poor beast,
it passes out


Another sucess!
you sucessfully foght off the minotaur

the bottom of the stairway has a large unlocked gate, ready to be opened

>>293801
Open the door using my awesome math skills!

>>293801
So I literally did nothing
at all.

Well, I'm blessed unlike you guys! Go for the gate.

>>293803
You calculate that the unlocked door needed to be pushed
to be opened,
you sucessfully push the door open

The next section has a corridor that splits in two, and later joins together into
one again, a squad of dwarven guards partrolls it in a clockwise motion

there's 10 of them armed with spears and axes, marching in circles

>>293801
Wait did the Minotaur have any loot!?

>>293808
Sneak past everyone in a circle while leaving the rope at their feet.

Then have >>293728
pull to make them all fall!

>>293808
Say hello and greet them! After doing (>>293812), of course.
>>293813
Wait, just do this instead.

>>293812
The minotaur is naked, exept if you collect minotaur fur

>>293813
All of you roll D10 for sneak past the dwarves and set up the triprope
add Sne(ak) modifiers 5 is default, more than 5 is + less than 5 is -

Rolled 2 + 1 (1d10 + 1)

>>293817
Rip up me a nice coat from that beast!
and rollin.

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>293817

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>293817

>>293820
aw shit....

>>293823
Guess it's praying time ._.

>>293820
"GOBLIN, ATTACK FOR THE KIIIING"
War horn blasts and 10 dwarven guards sprint at the fashinably-dressed goblin to rip
him to green bits, when they get closer they notice >>293822 too, but
completely ignore >>293824

How will you deal with the squad of bloodthirtsy dwarves?

>>293825
I... just slip by and keep going on my own.

Sorry!

>>293825
Distract them with a hamburger.

>>293825
Run toward dead skinless Minotaur. If i gain on them try and hide under it!

>>293828
the sneaky midget just walks onwards, avoiding combat

>>293830
Roll D10 (+3 int modifier) to use the DisractionHamburger

>>293831
Doll D10 (+1 sne) to play dead

Rolled 2 + 1 (1d10 + 1)

>>293832
I AM THE NIGHT!

Rolled 8 + 3 (1d10 + 3)

>>293832

>>293834
"LOOKS ITS STILL MOVING, KILL IT!"
the dwarves stab and hack at the minotaur corpse, butchering it down to
the bone, getting closer and closer to the goblin

roll D10 (+1) to fight one of the dwarves or
roll D10 (-1) to run away or
roll D10 (+1) to attempt to play dead again

>>293836
You throw the hamburger at the dwarves, two of them start to fight over it's
juicy goodness, leaving only 8 mauling the minotaur corpse
>>293836 is free to continue

>>293838
My hamburger... Keep running!

Rolled 3 + 1 (1d10 + 1)

>>293838
>roll D10 (+1) to fight one of the dwarves or

>>293842

The goblin jumps up, ready to engage mortal combat,
raising his weapon and with a war cry attacks the nearest dwarf
with all his streingth and gets fucking destroyed in seconds

rip in pieces goblin, you will be missed

The two survivors continue onwards, there's a small bridge leading to the
next section of the underground cavern

>>293844
nooooooooooooo

>>293844
Keep going forward.

>>293845
RIP!

>>293845
RIP

>>293846
>>293828

You two cross the bridge and end up in a large open hall with a lot of pillars and
statures in it, some of the statures look prietty spooked and frozen in fear

roll d10 (il add int modifiers later) both of you to get an idea what danger is lurking infront of you

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>293850

Let's see...

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>293850
Please, not the PTA moms...

>>293852

There be a gorgon sneaking about, the statures are actually people
she froze before, she can strike at any moment, the horror!

>>293851

spiders or some shit


How will you two proceed

>>293844
Was fun thanks QM!

>>293854

>>293852
Let me sneak my way through and take a peek. Otherwise we'll both have to roll, and should one of us fail... we are both screwed if we tag along. ._.

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>>293854
Use the gun. (4 bullets left)

>>293858
Yeah, you do that, dude.

>>293858
Roll d10 (+5 sne) to attempt to combatroll sneakily trough the hall
withought triggering any hungry gorgons

>>293859
Roll d10 (-3 agi) to shoot the gorgon when she appears

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>293861

>>293864
...Ah.

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>293861

>>293869
Oh well, +5 modifier! =w=

Nananana!

>>293870
You wouldn't happen to have any rope left, would ya?

>>293872
I kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinda forgot to bring it back.

; w :

>>293869

After several sucessfull tactical rolls, you are safely at the door to
the next section, just in time to see..

>>293864
.. miss his shot, alerting the gorgon to his position,
she drops down with a *plop* and hissess at the human agressor
opening her magic green eyes to stone the poor lad

roll d10 (+2 str) to pimp slap the ho, or
roll d10 (-3 agi) to run away, or
roll d10 (+3 int) to cry and beg for your life

Rolled 4 + 3 (1d10 + 3)

>>293875
...MOTHERFU--
>>293876
Seduce her. It's not an option, but I'm gonna try it!
+3 int

>>293878
GOD SPEED MIGHTY SEDUCER!

>>293878
OH

>>293878
Aw yeah, this is gonna be good!
>>293880
FOR YOU, MY BROTHER!

>>293878

You thrust off your shirt and with your gaze fixed on the gorgon's tits (not to get frozen),
drop your pants,
the gorgon, unusued to this gesture freezes for a moment before turning of her STONE-O-RAY 9000
and grabbing the human with her tail, dragging him off to her nest

Roll D10 (+2 str) to endure blunt damage to your pelvis and every other bone in your body

>>293881
Cover your ears child

>>293889
oh..oh god.

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>>293889
OH MY
OH MY
OH MY

THIS IS HAPPENING!!!

Rolled 6 + 2 (1d10 + 2)

>>293889
M-Mom? I love you...

>>293891
>>293892

After about an hour of screaming, hissing and something that
can only be described as a "recorded ambient of a ham-slapping competition"
the naked human is dropped near the entrance from above,
covered in bruises, suspicious liquids
and scale marks allover his body

his pants slowly glide down on him, traumatised but alive, we are ready
to continue the heist

just behind the next set of doors

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>>293896
F-Fuck... Keep going...
This was my favourite shirt, too...

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>293896
Hug him.

>>293899
He feels sticky, but the hug was very sucessfull

The next area is the one.
Theres a small artificial lava lake and a tiny island in the middle, with a obsydian chest in the middle of it

4 statures of dwarves are in each corner of the room, all pointing at the island in the middle,
the riddle here is how to get to the goods

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>293903
Look out for clues.

>>293904
Clue revealed: lava is hot

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>>293903
I'd use the rope, but SOMEBODY forgot to bring it... So, obviously, we use the shotgun's force to get us there!

>>293906
Be careful, lava is hot!

>>293910
I can do it!

>>293906

Allright then, roll D10 (+3int) to calculate the flight trajectory and
D10 for luck

>>293910
D10 (-1 int) Pray for your friend if his luck fails

Rolled 2 + 3 (1d10 + 3)

>>293920

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>293920

"Hail Algis full of
grace, the City is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy garden, Victoria.
Holy Algis, Mother of
the Garden, pray for us heretics,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen."

>>293923
I got, like, a 50/50 chance of getting there!

>>293923
>>293924

He shoots, flies up, up and down, barely landing on the island edge, burning
his eyebrows off on the lava

flawless sucess, the treasure is at your fingertips

>>293924
How will you get across?
roll d10 for getting an idea

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>293927

LETS GET SOME STEAM UP MY BRAIN!

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>293927
I'm gonna pray for him!

>>293930
>>293931

Both roll D10 (with int modifiers) to pray for safe passage,
as the little one takes a running jump across the lava

whatever could go wrong?

Rolled 9 + 3 (1d10 + 3)

>>293932
AND IIIIIEEIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>293932
AAND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
WIIIIILLL

AAALWAYS LOOVEE YOUU!!

>>293935
>>293938
The gods smile upon you,
as a bridge raises from the depths of lava to build a safe passage to the island
and on the other side to escape later

Finally, safe and by the treassure chest, the quest is allmost complete,
ready to open the chest?

>>293940
Yep!

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>>293940
Let's do it!

>>293941
>>293942

The heavy lid of the obsyidan chest raises and reveals a hoard of jewels below,
toumalines, diamonds, opals, amethysts,
but all pale in the comparison of a shiny dragon egg, encased in a small jail made of
polished meteorite iron

the opening of the treassure triggered the defense system, the lava drains into the depths
of the earth and from a hidden tomb in the wall breaks loose a large mythical beast

it takes the form of a huge, slimy midnight black octopus, with twice as many tentacles
as there should be, its slimy appendages pull and balance it's large bulbous head,
as it advances upon the two thieves

>>293952
...

Run?

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>293952
...Seduce it. Again.
>>293953
You gotta back me up on this, dude. We either go big or go home.

Rolled 10 (1d10)

ROLL TO HIDE!

>>293954
WISH YOU LUCK!

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>>293954
Wait, wouldn't it be a +3 int thing?
God save us.
>>293957
The least you could've done is pray for me, dude.

>>293954
this one is a tough one, it will need a 6 for a sucessfull roll

The beast smells you and opens it's mouth, slurping you up like
a giant piece of human spaghetti

roll D10 (+2 str) to attempt breaking free of its slow digestive stomach

>>293957
You sit down and dont move, the beast is right ontop of you ,spinning around
and snapping its slug mouth, its tentacles waddling around your head is it's huge
head turns around in circles, looking for the dessert

Rolled 10 + 2 (1d10 + 2)

>>293961
insert joke about vore here

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>293961
Silently pray for the human rissotto!

>>293962

In a sudden attack of panic mixed with adrenaline,
the human goes absolutely balistici nside the creature's stomach,

the mythical creature is so sickened by the tantrum it vomits out the human
so hard it turns inside-out, becoming a huge black football,
stunning it for one move

What now?

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>293966
Attempt to tame it.

>>293968
...Well, I thought it was a good idea...

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>293968
Attempt to know convince human to grab some jewels and GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE

>>293973
Dude, we could keep it as a pet! Besides, we need the whole chest!

>>293974
You know how they say health is the best treasure?

Well guess what, scientific studies show that you can't carry chests without arms and legs!

>>293968
Its stunned so it does not repsond, as it turns back inside out

>>293973
The human, stunned by the lack of attention from the monster quickly grabs
the dragon egg and some jewels, and sprints the hell away, followed by you

The beast comes to its senses again and gives chase,
the two thieves reach a small dwarven mechanism-driven emergency lift
in the wall

anyone knows how to operate?

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>293979
I do! Just give me some time!

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>293979
Yes.
He.

Roll to pray, as usual!

>>293983
The doors opened, there's barely enough space for both of you inside,
better hurry up, as the mythical creature is allmost
touching you with it's slimy appendages

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>293986
Get inside!

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>293986
IN I GO

>>293988
>>293990

both managed to cram themselves together into the teenie
tiny space, along with the dragon egg

one tentacle reaches into the elevator but is snapped off by the closing doors,
it soon starts to climb up, as the tentacle flails around the tiny space,
sliming everywhere and sticking to everyone with it's suckers

>>293995
Well, I always wanted to try sushi...
it's really late here. I might need to leave soon

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>293995
STEP ON IT

>>293998
Pins it to the wall as >>293996 enjoyes a nutritious
adventureous snack, it tastes like snot and coal with some salt

the elevator reaches it's top floor with a *ding* and opens its door to a janitor's closet,
filled with brooms and cleaning equippment, there's fresh air coming
from a rock vent in the ceiling

one last roll to escape into the freedom of the vents and out of the underground structure

Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>293999
Let's get out once and for all!

>>294000
So... what does this mean?

>>294002
We share the treasure, I guess? I have to go to sleep now, so you can get, like, 52% of it.

>>294003
I'm off to nap, too. It was fun, thanks for running! =w=

>>294002
>>294003

A short trip later you are outside in the open, fresh air

but there is only one dragon egg and some jewels,
how do you split that?

>>294005
He gets the jewels, I get the dragon egg! Thanks for running, I'm gonna go to sleep now!

>>294005
spoop spoop spoop I WILL HAUNT THE DWARVES FOREVER.

Good Quest, Thread kill

>>294009
A new set of engravings tell the story of Bullrider, the Goblin ghost of the treassure halls