U.S. Election Risk

Could you give us an example of a candidate registration?

>>26150
>Steven Armstrong
>Sunny Emmerich
>Increased Military Spending
>Prison Privatization
>Deregulation of the Markets
>Marshal Party
>Red and Grey

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>trip
Charlie Kelly
>candidate
Charlie Kelly
>stances
Beer! You like? Ill make beer legal!
A kitten mitten on every cat
Not Philadelphia? Scary. Immigrants are scary too!
>party
Chardee Macdennisons.
>color
Yellow

>>26185

>I have a trip on right now
>Himynameis GenericMcGenericFace
>I'm Running With This Guy
>My key stances are pro-gun, pro-marriage, and anti-meme
>I'm running with the nofun parti
>Grey

For obvious map shenanigan reasons, grey, black, and white are banned party colors.

>>26198
Choose one color plox.
>>26206
Registration needs a Vice Presidential Candidate.

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>>26206
Vice president:
Mac Reynolds

>>26229
Make it Grey then.

>trip
California
>candidate
Bernie Sanders
>vice president candidate
Tom Cruz
>stances
Make guns illegal.
Make capitalistic ideals illegal.
Make the economy great again.
>party
The American Socialist Soviet Party.
>colors
Red and yellow.

>>26150
>Name
Bob Strakowski
>VP Name
Regina Sloan
>3 points
Tough on immigration
pro-choice
make the drugs legal, ALL THE DRUGS
>Party
Byker Party
>Colors
Blue and Red

>>26252
Default state color is grey, please pick another.

>>26274
Fuck it, Red.

>>26229
>>26239
The candidate needed time to watch Dee and Frank fight over the nomination before being written off soforwidth now I am running for President!

>>26252
>>26273
SINGULAR COLORS PLEASE

Actually, I'm withdrawing because I'm about to drop dead from being tired.

Also, if the Samoan is here from last thread, Let me hold your hand, Samoan-senpai.

NO ERP.

>>26303
*AGGRESSIVELY HOLDS THE SAMOAN HAND AND CUDDLES THE SAMOAN BODY!*

>>26150
>Trip
The Farmer
>Candidate Name
Corn Farmeron
>Vice Presidential Candidate Name
Arkansas McRicer
>3 Key Stances
Oil Drilling is exclusively the right of Americans.
Mexico should be annexed.
EVERYONE GETS A FARM
>Party
The Landowner Party
>Party Color
Green

>Name:Michael Bloomberg
>Running mate: Mark Cuban
>Views: Anti-gun, anti-soda, pro-wall street
>Party: Good goy party
>Color: light blue

>>26290
blue.

Psst-im Nahuatl from the previous thread.. I miss my somoan

Hope you're ready to sow the seeds of our future, America.

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>>26424
What are seeds even man?? I keep hearing about em. Never see them. I just see the fruits. Why are we SO darn focused on the seeds when it's the fruit that matters!
I've never seen anyone eating SEEDS! Checkmate.

WEEK ONE AGENDA

As your campaign bus kicks off it's tour of the country large swathes of the nation experience the hottest early August temperatures on record. Climate scientists predict a lasting several week drought across much of the country, particularly affecting California and much of the Southwest. Agriculture in the region is likely to be devastated, and wildfires will quickly push emergency services to their limit in much of the The Golden State.

Meanwhile racial tensions have once again reached a head in Baltimore over the fatal police shooting of young DeQuanda Smith, a black women who was accosted by one Officer Jeremy Smith before reportedly pulling a handgun on the officer. The resultant shoot-out has left DeQuanda dead, but Black Lives Matter has interpreted Smith's acquittal as another example of police discrimination. They are prepare to hold a mass protest against the decision this week.

Finally, the CIA has confirmed the abduction of three Vice undercover reporters by operatives of the Islamic State. The Islamic State has already posted videos of the captives onto the Internet and has threatened to execute the captives in a few days to set an example.

The nation now turns to their news networks, eagerly awaiting commentary on recent events. Choose how you will proceed and commit to the following for the week:

>Your Response To Current Events
>Your State Campaign Decisions (3 States per Week; 1 Issue Focus per State)

>>26270
Sanders is pro gun.

FUCK THIS CAPTCHA
IT SAYS I POSTED CHILD PR0N, BUT I HAVEN'T

Samoan, Esq.

Canidate: Iosefa Solomon
Vice Candidate: Kalani Paiʻea Wohi o Kaleikini Kealiʻikui Kamehameha o ʻIolani i Kaiwikapu kauʻi Ka Liholiho Kūnuiākea
>War
>Racism
>Hawaiian independence
Party:
I-Independent? Democrat? Fuckidunno
Party colour:
Blue

>>26486
Hopefully I'm not TOO late, right?
R-Right?

>>26513
I don't know, but from the looks of it everyone's picking multicolor or is overlapping colors/party with somebody else and this is gonna take a fuckton of time.

This might be better run on a forum and by somebody competent.

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>>26448
Whenever I need water, America. I look to our toilets. There is always water in there! It's a goldmine of water that never seems to stop unless someone stuffed shoes down into the bowl. So America, get off your butts and help this water crisis by making sure there are no shoes in your toilets! Simple!

And on this Shaqua..Shaquille.. Dequan? This poor black woman! Shit for holding a gun? I mean the police officer didn't know she was going to fire. She could've been like "hey to homey check out my gunzizzle" and BLAM! the officer with no good reason shoots the woman down. It's a disgrace to the law really.

at this time, VP hopeful Mac shoulders onto the podiums and yells into the microphone:

Now as per these abductions!!We need to use the technology every movie has to find the middle East and STOMP IT. SUPPORT OUR TROOPS. USA!! USA!!!

Seeing as Charlie's fear of leaving Philadelphia has crippled him, the presidential hopeful tries to rally support by promising a discount on beer at PADDYS PUB in exchange for a promise to vote for him in the upcoming election.

VP Hopeful Mac Reynolds goes to Oklahoma to visit churches and talk about God.

A campaign commercial with Charlie Day proclaiming himself as the "maybe-messiah" airs in texas

Fucking CAPTCHA, this is getting annoying

>>26448
>Response to current events (climate change):
Publicly comment that the signs are mounting that our current approach to climate change isn't working. We need to entrust businesses and corporations to make innovative alternatives while also pushing congress to embrace regulation. My boy Cuban and I also throw some money towards donations related to the ongoing disaster in California.

>States:
California and Arizona (focus on climate change)
Michigan (Racial tensions)

I'm doing this right, right?

>>26536
Can I still play?

>>26569
You're doing this A-OK
>>26574
Yes I'll just give the responses a color.

>>26448
>Response To Current Events
August Droughts:
Make a big deal out of the devastation on agriculture, warn of upcoming rises in the cost of common food items and staple agricultural resources while promoting the building of more irrigation channels through the most agriculturally important areas.

Be sure to spout, "Bread and Butter first" when appropriate, we'll make it a slogan.

>State Campaign Decisions
1. California: Advocate for salt water purification plants, make broad claims and promises about it helping combat the droughts.

2. Oklahoma: Remind people of the importance small states play in the economy through feeding the country. We want to try and get that small state support.

3. Arkansas: Send my Vice President here, this is his home state, have him go around campaigning and setting up booths advocating for people to go out and register to vote while promoting The Landowner Party.

>>26547
Toilets? We're running for president and this man is talking about toilets? I didn't hire hitmen to kill Trump just so we'd have to deal with an even more ridiculous candidate

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>>26599
Objection! Hearsay.
You can't out lawyer me friend.

>>26583
Alright, here goes:

>Recently, It has come to my attention about three issues in America: Weather, Racism, and War. The peoples of California have been going through a drought, and what I suggest is we attempt to give them more seawater. As for the Kidnappings, we either save them or die trying.
>The tragic shooting last month is very saddening, but both of them are at fault. The police, for being taught to kill before reasoning, and the Lady, for brandishing the weapon. Back in New Zealand, there is a saying that goes: "By our actions we are known." Let us hope that America Remembers this saying, as I will be repeating this often.

K: What he said.

States:
Michigan, Illinois, and Texas.

>>26619
I can't but my army of personal lawyers will.
Cuban says no to whatever shitty product you try to sell on Shark Tank too.

>>26628
The reasons for these states are so:

Michigan, because I said so,
Illinois, because I said so,
And Texas; because It's large.

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>>26635
Once I put a mitten on every kitten in America then we will see what shark tank thinks of my idea Bloomberg. What does your name even mean it sounds like a flower and an iceberg made babies and those babies lived horrible lives and became a sour bitter old man

>>26651
Wait, can I change Michigan to California? I realised an advantage to my campaign.

>>26660
At least we know how the Titanic sank, right?

>>26670
The Titanic SANK?

>>26660
Better than "kelly"

>>26683
Little known fact, it actually didn't sink, it just sailed to Atlantis and stayed there.

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>>26686
Pic related

>>26694
I knew I'd find you Atlantic Conspiracy nuts here.

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>Chardee Macdennisons - Yellow
>Good Goy - Blue
>Landowners - Green
>Hawaiian Independence - Not on the fucking map

WEEK 1 RESULTS

The Mcdennison Party's familiarity with street lingo and unconditional support of DeQuanda gains them support in Maryland, though their religiously influenced efforts in Texas and Oklahoma are considered delusional ramblings. He will likely see struggles in the Bible Belt due to their assertion that their candidate "may be the Messiah". Their offer in the Philedelphia area fails to net any votes, as Paddy's is considered by natives to be the worst bar in the city and state.

California's key traditionally liberal regions lean towards the good goys in response to climate change rhetoric, though efforts by the Landowner's Party leave the hold over the state shaky. Michigan's response to the racially charged campaign of the good goys leaves the outcome in that state uncertain.

Landowner Party fever strikes across the Midwest, considered hometown for the party. Arkansas and Oklahoma rally behind the agriculture-supremacist stance of the party.

Iosefa's refusal to address the issues in his advertising campaigns, combined with a wave of pro-federal sentiment in response to the hostage crisis, leaves his efforts floundering in all states.

WEEK 2 INBOUND

>>26706
Good, good! Enjoy your unhealthy-beverages while you can!

>>26729
SOW THEM SEEDS

>>26729
If only I knew how US politics work.

>>26741
Trust me, you don't need to know anything to participate in the US of A

>>26741
1. Make people like you no matter what.
2. Wait.

I swear to god this captcha

WEEK 2 AGENDA

Racial tensions have come to a head in Baltimore. The protests of the DeQuanda shooting see a massive and violent citywide protest that sees several fatalities. Several buildings are vandalized and the National Guard is called into to pacify the population. A state of emergency is declared and a curfew enacted by city officials, though sporadic confrontations still continue. As the violence drags on into its second week, pundits have begun to call the riots a “Second Euromaidan”.

The drought continues into it's second week as California becomes a battleground for a variety of political camps. Early success by the Good Goys is seen, though Landowner proposals for the subsidies to farmers in the region attracts many votes in a state known among other things for its wineries.

The executions occur and gruesome footage of them spreads like wildfire across social media. Many in the country have begun to call for further U.S. involvement in the Middle East and the defeat of ISIS, along with stricter border controls and immigration regulations. The Islamic State now threatens attacks on several major U.S. cities.

>Responses
>Campaign Focus States

>>26773
>>26788
The problem is that I have no idea what the states are, what they do, what the issues are, HOW to make them likely, everything! I'll have another go, and see what happens.

>>26798
>Response (racial tensions):
I'm all for having faith in our federal, state, and city governments to do what is best for their citizens. The situation in Baltimore, however, disturbs me. This is no longer a rare occurrence, and there needs to be an effort across the country to clean up our police departments. I've had plenty of experience with these kinds of situations from my time as mayor in NYC, and you'll see that things have fallen up police-wise since I left. A vote for Bloomberg/Cuban is a vote for returning to justice and what is right for black communities.

>States:
California (climate change)
Maryland (racial tensions)
Texas (Cuban gives a speech in Dallas on the ISIS situation, also promises not to sell the mavs when we win)

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>>26798
Well that escalated quickly.
It's only natural! I mean maybe if the police didn't even have guns there wouldn't be any rioting. The police pull out their guns and say "HEY IM GONNA ARREST YOU OR SHOOT YOU BLACK GUY" the only natural respobse is to pull out your gun. It's basic human nature! I'm a not-black person and if a cop pulled a gun on me I'd be furious. Especially if all I was trying to do was show him my gun! Which is really one of Frank's guns. He doesn't keep them in safe places in the apartment and I carry one with me when I wanna feel cool.
-the candidate pulls out a handgun and fumbles with it momentarily, nearly dropping it then setting it on the podium
See! Now I feel safe! That's how guns work!
Now as per this drought situation. I've been thinking about draughts and wondering what it actually means. And it means a lack of rain!
So I offer to the States effected by this draught that every other state with rain should collect it in like..buckets..and tarps and send them to the States that need rain! It'll be hard to share folks I know. But that's America. Everyone sharing!

Mac Reynolds goes to the podium

I have five words for you isil.

The VP hopeful raises the gun and points it at the camera.
Here we come...for you.


>Charlie, still completely unwilling to leave Philadelphia makes a parade float and tosses kitten mittens off the side. Unfortunately no parade was scheduled so he and the driver Frank spent five hours randomly driving around Philadelphia in a cat shaped parade float throwing mittens at pedestrians

Mac goes to Texas to spread more gospel and to lift weights in front of crowds while "Eye of the Tiger" plays

A viral video is released in Washington that is an endorsement for Charlie Kelly from The Green Man! The Green Man promptly throws a ball in the face of a bird like woman standing next to him.

>>26860
Look at Bloomberg soft on the issues again!! Same old Bloomberg with his crazy Atlantis name that sinks ships.

>>26798
IS:
These issues are getting progressively worse and worse, and we all need to do something about it.
Starting off, California's droughts are getting worse. The seawater plants aren't doing too well. Should I become president, I will focus all of my time on California's droughts, as this is getting ridiculous. The time to change starts now.
>Secondly, recently MORE ISIS videos are spreading, and the people are asking: what are we going to do about it? Here's what's going to happen; we will either attack with brute force, or negotiate peacefully. The wall will be given tighter control, and we will do all we can. ISIS is the main priority, and I will personally make sure they pay.
> M a r k m y w o r d s .
>The last issue is DeQuanda and Racism as a whole. The state of the cities I've seen, I honestly cannot believe people live in those houses. So this is what I'm going to do; I'll crack down on the police as a whole. People should not have to fight for freedom. The government should give it to them.

State choices:
California, as of the drought.
New York, as people listen most to that state,
And Alabama, for some reason.

>>26900
This captcha only attacks me if I put a name in, so I'll attach it in another post.
Iosefa Solomon

>>26900
Shit, I must sound like Ben Carson!

>>26897
"soft on the issues" he says! He's talking about Atlantis! Does this look presidential to you America? Keep this man on tv where he belongs!

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>>26928
So you aren't denying that your name sinks ships? Does America want a SHIPSINKER at the wheel of our country??

>>26798
>Responses
The Executions:
Rile up fear. Tell the public that this outrage is one that should not stand, and the home front is the place to begin defending. Advocate highly for property protection and the rights of individuals to own guns, and the necessity for a higher value being put onto national guard and other forms of defensive military branches.

Go to army veteran halls and ask them about their opinions on the war, claim that those who have seen it first hand should know its importance the most.

>Campaign Focus States
1. California: Warn the tourism industry that the lack of drought solutions will lead to a drastic decline in tourist income after the loss of many natural forests and the lower quality of stay for those that desire to visit or take temporary home there. If California wants to save its economy, it needs these saltwater purifiers.

2. Texas: Tell the texans that farming isn't all about plants, and that the importance of ranching and cattle herding is something that The Landowners focus on intently as well. State that ranching is in the blood of all that hold the lone star spirit, rather they farm or not.

3. Missouri: Visit Branson, host a big event at one of the outdoor theaters and talk about the importance of the Midwestern spirit and how important it is that tourist states like this one keep the culture of America live and well in an era where we're moving too far from our roots.

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>>26941
whatever floats your boat

>>26966
If only I was smart as you.

>>26941
I deny that 100%. In fact the truth is I am the exact opposite. I heavily financed the film Titanic, meaning that I helped that ship sail again in the hearts of millions, not to mention I made Leo a star. Also "at the wheel of our country" sounds a lot like "great helmsman", are you saying you're a maoist?

>>26968
Kek

Alright I can't do it, I apologize but I'm going to cut out. I did this on a limb and I as fun as I can tell this is I need to get some sleep and maybe formalize the rules for this a bit, a combination of the late start and initial confusion didn't do us favors.

I'm going to give Charlie Kelly props for being the most in-character person here but I'm going to leave the victor indeterminate and call this trial run promising.

I'll do some writing and come up with a formalized ruleset, structure, and basic event queue this week.

>>27016
'Kay
See you later OP
Sow them seeds for me.

>>27016
Thanks mate. Quick question: how do you manage to make people like you in politics? I'm shit at campaigns.
Samoan

Here's week 2's results, if they seem a bit shitty it's because I realize it's come to the hour where I can't really judge this properly and to do so would be unfair as a Game Master.

I'd like to see this game's revival though, so I'll do what I can and pull together a thread soon.

>>26991
But Mr. Bloomberg you forget. What did the Titanic do in that film of yours? What happened in your little..re-enactment you put together?
THE SHIP SANK
So not only did your name sink the original BUT you even payed MONEY to recreate the crime like a sick murderer trying to relive the crime.
YOU HEARD ME AMERICA. BLOOMBERG DID TITANIC AND HE ISNT AFRAID TO DO IT TWICE!

>>27016
Oy vey!

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>>27033
FUCK

>>27030
In campaigns? A mixture of jingo and good looks. No seriously, see the Kennedy campaign.

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>>27034
Are you saying you've WITNESSED IT?

>>27039
Shit, maybe I should be a good colour...

>>27034
These allegations are false. I did not have sinking-relations with that ship.

>>27039
I DID IT IM PRESIDENT OF PHILADELPHIA THAT IS ALL I WANTED.

well that was fun.

>>27039
I got all the states that matter! Money wins again!

So what now?

I assume the thread dies.

It was nice playing with you guys.
Samoan out!