Anarchy in the donegedon

Rolled 3, 1 = 4 (2d6)

You awake with a groan "What in the name yeezus happened last night?"
Your name is... Well you...
Right now you don't remember who you are l, or much of anything for that matter!
-------------------------
>what do you do?

>>260223
Look around me.

You look around, you were sleeping on an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. Light streams into the room through large windows there are doors connecting the room to several others. The bed is quite comfortable.
---------------------------
>go through door 1
>go through door 2
>go back to sleep

>>260237
Go back to sleep

Urinate on the bed to mark your territory.

>>260250
*our territory

>>260237
Go back to sleep. It's WAY too early in the morning.

A small voice tells you to relieve yourself on the bed, even without your memory you know that listening to it only results in pain.

You go back to sleep hoping to remember your life when you wake up
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>roll to cure amnesia (1d100)

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>260257

You go through a restless sleep, your dreams are populated by the sight of monsters you can't understand who dwell in an infinite desert.
You reawaken with an incomplete memory, if you had to apply an arbitrary number to it you'd say you had about 67% of your memory.
Your name is Anarchy Anteres, ok that's not your real name is _____, but what self respecting practitioner of the arcane arts uses their real name? No one that's who! Your name is Anarchy Anteres, assigning arbitrary numbers to things is something you do on a regular basis and both these facts are thing you are proud of!
Also you know you could probably usurp God's throne if you got a few good hits in, being a magician of akasia and all
--------------
>what do I do now

>>260271
Try to remember everything we can about our powers. Maybe there's some spell that could help us out here.

Name: ______
Allias: anarch Anteres goes by anarchy
Gender: female
Know affiliates: the church of yeezus
Job description: freelance magician
Hight: 6'2
Age: Unknown (knows about events
pre-desertification/ posibly over 200 years)

You think harder, you now realise why you couldn't remember anything. The asshole priest got you drunk again! Even with, literally, all the magic in the world you still can't drink for shit, luckily the solution to your temporary memory loss is one quick meal and an herbal tea away
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>make breakfast

You leave the bed room out of one of the doors and into a modest living space where there is a kitchen with a gas stove, a rarity these days. You turn on the heat, grab a kettle, open a window, and do a silly hand gesture. It becomes very hard to breath for a second as all the oxygen and helium in the room are forced together into water molecules that fill the kettle, luckily air from outside comes in fast enough that you don't suphicate. You then search your person for the baggy you hoped you kept on you this time finding the floral scented bag you begin to make your Rosemary tea.

A few minutes to go before the tea is ready and you need to eat NOW
----------------------
>raid the pantry
>raid cold storage
>leave no survivors

>>260299
pantry on account of more chance for magical benefit as we are apparently not an ape (as the cold storage should bolster with meat)

>>260298
So we just made He2O water.

The good news is the pantry is loaded with goods such as vegetables and fruit. The bad news is that there isn't a decent protein in sight! You check the cold cube and ...
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Roll for content (2d8)

Rolled 7, 3 = 10 (2d8)

>>260377

>>260445
Ahhhhhhhhh yissssss,
Matha fuckin sand whale steak! Your absolute favorite! You almost literally tear the skillet out of a cabenet full of other pans put it on the stove. You the bring out the treasured meat and after unwrapping it you use a lingering heat spell to defrost it and slow cook the poison out, this is optimal because much like the sand whale's gourmet cousin the sink hole puffer fish, when desolved properly the poison leaves behind antioxidants that greatly enhance the flavour and health benefits of the meat having this takin care of you reach for herbs and spices to season your meal
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What do you use (choose 3 effects)
>pickled swamp garlic (vitality buff, smells bad)
>aether root (no visible effect, but your teacher swore by the stuff and it tastes good)
>ffs leaves (a buff in physical strength, but makes you much more irritable)
>deathbee cage (has the effect of letting you attract and control deathbees)
>thief kage (makes you less noticeable, somehow)
>shaft root (makes the consumer slightly more manly, may incur other male related side effects[basically natural steroid with lewd side effects])
>fem floural (basically the same as above but for charisma with feminin effects)
>iron shell flake (it's really weird that we eat the flakes of a creature's shell when it is literally made of iron. But it has the benefit of making you slightly naturally more durable and it tastes more like a fine salt)
>salt (raises you sodium levels, may make you animic)
>pepper (compliments literally everything else on the list, both in that it makes it taste better and makes the effects more pronounced) why wouldn't you use pepper?
>plane onion (fairly common, but what most people don't know is that the skin of the onion can actually increase anyone's sex appeal, as vague as that is)

>>260480
-edit- use four + pepper

>>260510
>iron flake
>aether root
>deathbee cage
>thief kage>>260510

>>263179
Fuck me, that's pathetic even for my standards

File: image.jpg (48KB, 1024x576px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 1024x576px

After deliberating on what you will have with your sand whale breakfast and some quick grilling you pour yourself some tea and begin ruminating on you memory
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Now that you're back at 100% what do you remember first?
>Asshole the guy who caused this
>what am I doing here
>where did my omnipotence come from
>the fuck is a sand whale again?