Boredom Quest: The Part Two

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>>254513
Moral compass alignment

>>254513
Nice its back.

Flee towards the ocean so you can enlist the help of cuthulu and his old ones.

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>>254519
This aquarium is in Detroit, and the closest body of water is a river that is so polluted that just looking at the thing will give you an STD. You'll have to find another way out.

>>254526
Fuck every fish in the aquarium so they too can grow arms and legs.

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>>254531
You fuck almost every fish in the aquarium. Fortunately, tuna's are one of the few animals that have a soul, so you are now a ghost! You are able to possess any living thing!

Number of times you can die: 2

>>254562
ah fuck dude I missed like a huge chunk of the story.

You fucked nothing but fishes for three months. Unfortunately, this is past your lifespan, so you die,

>>254568
Possess one of our Eel children.

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>>254582
You eject the soul of your eel child and relive life as a child! You now have a mortal form.

>>254591
Look for some Mermaiden to save.

>>254591
rape maim and kill all gay people

>>254596
We're supposed to be paladins this run, remember?

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>>254594
The closest to a mermaid you can find is some mutated fish with the head of a lady and a body of a fish. You guess it counts.

>>254617
Save her.

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>>254629
Quickly thinking, you send your masculine fist mermaid-ward. You managed to punch a hole, but you get your arm stuck, and you are starting bleed. Ouch.

>>254658
punch with our other arm, headbutt that shit, kick that shit, WE WILL HAVE OUR POON-FISH OR DIE TRYING

>>254658
Look for human clothes that can be used as a bandage.

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>>254661
You punch that shit to oblivion. Who cares if you have a serious injury? There's a damsel in distress!

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>>254686
You save her! Though, you are covered in cuts.

>>254688
Make love to her after touching up your wounds.

>>254688
Court the lovely fishwoman by singing a beautiful song through our bloody gurgling lips, no true paladin would lay with a woman before winning her heart.

>>254706
Good point. But we should really look at these wounds.

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>>254702
>>254706

After treating your wounds, you court the fair maiden using your sensual singing and romantic rhyming. You make sweet love afterwards.

>>254715
I guess, but how can she deny us if she sees first hand the tribulations we faced to reach her?

>>254718
Leave the aquarium looking for evil to thwart.

>>254718
Does she like it? She looks fucking terrified.

>>254732
I think's she's brain dead

>>254746
Fuck, I feel terrible now. Paladins don't have sex with brain dead people, right?

>>254726
Yeah let's do that I guess, EVIL MUST BE DESTROYED

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>>254726
It's gonna be pretty hard to leave the place since its fucking chaos in here. You guess giving everyone the ability to walk and use hands was a pretty bad idea.

>>254766
Even the brain-dead need love.
>>254771
Convince the fish to join you in thwarting evil.

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>>254771
Dear fucking GOD, I just joined this thread I have no idea how this happened. Can we talk with them or are they evil? If so maybe we can just sneak past them using our slippery eel-like ways.

>>254771
Take over the car shop next door with your fishy brethren.

>>254771
Tell the fish to stop. We wish for peace and equality, not blood and death.

>>254772
Roll d10

1-3: Fail
4-7: They'll follow you, but they'll still do their own thing
8-10: complete loyalty to you

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>254786

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>254786

>>254789
God.
Damn.
It.

>>254789
YOU SSUCK!

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>>254789
You attempt to round up the riot, but the fish people are too stupid to listen to you. They continue destroying everything in sight. You're pretty sure the entire aquarium is going to collapse at this rate.

>>254815
Just leave to fuck more fishes and create a fish masterrace.

>>254815
They'll turn evil in no time- We must kill them.

>>254820
Yeah, this. These retards are not worthy of our presence.

Let's go fuck a giant squid or something, that'll give us some shock troops for sure!

>>254815
Get out of the aquarium and find a human girl to fuck. Maybe you can create a hybrid race that will bridge the two species gap and create peace.

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>>254820
>>254823
>>254827
>>254824

You leave the aquarium. In a stroke of luck, the entire aquarium collapses into flames. You're pretty sure everybody in there died.

Fish saved: 1!

>>254833
Correction: We saved all of them, before they then killed themselves in a literal blaze of glory.

Anyways, Let's become a police officer.

>>254833
Pray to Lord Cthulhu for fat bottomed fish-girl bitches.

>>254833
Seeing all our kin die makes us want death..

Jump in the polluted water

>>254833
Find a human girl to fuck. Then have righteous intelligent human/fish hybrid babies that will grow up to bridge the gap between the species.

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>>254838
>>254847

You settle down and decide to live a normal human life, seeing as how fish are fucking scum.

You take up a job as a police officer, as your are naturally a righteous person. You are now a cop on duty! What do you do now?

>>254847
This is a good idea. Let's court a human female.

>>254850
Get shot by niggers while killing them for killing white wimmin

>>254850
Find some evildoer to stop.

>>254847
This

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>>254855
>>254856

You are patrolling around in a ghetto when a thug stops you in your tracks! Roll d10 to see what happens!

1-5: You are killed to death
6-8: You subdue the fucker
9-10: You accidently eat him

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>254874
Dats a nice nigger

>>254876
Oh shit, Legionnaire is apparently great at killing black people.

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>>254876
You are naturally a very strong eel person, so subduing a thug is no problem to you. As the police roll in and arrest him, you are congratulated and given a raise.

The next day, you are called into a hostage situation. Two robbers are holding the owner of a McDonalds hostage.

What do you do?

>>254892
Use the sewage pipes to sneak into the mcdonalds by exiting out of their toilets.

>>254892
Sneak in and subdue the criminals.

>>254892
Walk in and ask for some McDonalds food. When the robbers try to stop you, show them the power you've acquired the day before when some lunatic shot you with an arrow.

THE POWER OF YOUR STAND.

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>>254895
>>254897

Using your naturally eel-like physique, you swooce your way in through the toilets. You are now in! How do you subdue the criminals?

>>254916
Wait until they take a shit, then you strike.

Convince the criminals that this is not the life they want and make yourself a burger

>>254916
Tell them you're a police and they have to stop, because they don't want to be racist against the first fish policeman.

Hopefully these robbers are liberals.

>>254918
I agree.

Slither up their bumhole and exit through their mouth. Then punch them out cold.

>>254918
This. Just before he relaxes his bowels, give him a little surprise.

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>>254918
One of the criminals has to take a shit, he pulls down his pants and...

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>>254937
You bite his testes off.

Do you want to slither up his bum, or leave it at that.

Waif a minute... This is no man robber!

>>254943
Slither up his bumhole.

>>254943
Slither up his bum and come out his mouth. Then cuff him while he's stunned.

>>254943
RIP AND TEAR

>>254952
Second

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>>254951
>>254952

You are slithering up his lower intestine. By now he's running out of the bathroom and is freaking the fuck out. You hear them both panicking. The robber your inside of heads into the kitchen to find some medical supplies.

>>254976
Eat his brain and assume direct control.

>>254976
Exit through the bumhole and wrap yourself around his legs so he trips.

>>254980
>>254984

http://www.strawpoll.me/10477372

>>254992
>Permanent Hemorrhoids
Hello, Satan.

>>254980
Do this and then shoot the other robber. But exit immediately after so the guy sees what he did before succumbing to blood loss. Justice!

>>254980
We become the puppetmaster.

>>255008
Agreed

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>>254992
You pinch a certain part of the crook's brain and you control his body.

You are now the crook.

>>255035
Talk the other crook into releasing the hostages.
Then jump out this one's mouth and bite the other one's testicles off.

>>255035
Rob the store. You have to keep this guy on the path he was on. Who would we be to take him away from his destiny as the world's best robber?

>>255035
Ask the other crook where all their loot is stashed, then kill the other crook. Then kill the crook were controling.

>>255043
this and take the loot for ourselves

>>255035
Subdue the other crook, then leave current crook's body and handcuff him.

>>255049
No, this is our PALADIN run where we're the good guys.

>>255055
ech, last thread was way more fun...

>>255055
That's why our only option is >>255037
Release the hostages, exact RETRIBUTION on the criminals.

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>>255037
>>255051

You talk about maybe now robbing the store. He suspects you of being a spy so your rip his dick right off.

He definitely knows you're a spy now.

>>255064
Pull his pants down, assume a human centipede position with both crooks, and go from Crook A's mouth to Crook B's ass.

>>255077
Agreed, but this time just eat the crook's heart. instead of going for his brain.

>>255064
I feel like we're in too deep on this one. A paladin wouldn't be doing this shit, we need to bring them to justice without acting like a chest burster. We should call in backup since we've clearly subdued and traumatized the robbers.

>>255085
A real paladin exterminates evil no matter the cost.

>>255085
We're a loose cannon who doesn't play by the rules, man. We don't follow protocol but damn, we get results!

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>>255077
>>255081

You enter the other crooks body via anus and proceed to eat his heart out, literally. The crooks are now both dead.

>>255098
Take their valubles, then be welcomed as a hero by the police

>>255085
Good point. Too late now.
>>255098
Free the hostages and give the money back.

>>255098
Go back to the chief and listen to him yell at us about being a loose cannon, then meet the new partner he's putting us with.

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>>255098
You are thrown in jail for a grievous violation of human ethics.

>>255112
Slip through the bars. You are a snek

>>255112
Well, excape through the toilet!

>>255112
Claim that the robbers were black.

>>255112
Slither through the bars.

>>255118
but they were black

>>255127
Exactly. We get off scott-free and with paid leave.

>>255112
Accept your fucking punishment because I TOLD YOU GUYS THIS WOULD HAPPEN

Repent and become a good dickfish, find the lord and become a devout christian.

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>>255115
>>255120

You escape easily but are then shot on sight. Did you really think there was no security here?

You are able to possess one more person before you truly pass on

>>255138
posess some important world leader then.

>>255131
Have you even SEEN the shit we did in the last thread?

Climbing up someone's ass, tearing his friend's dick off, then going to his ass via first guy's mouth is somewhat tame.

>>255138
Possess the President of the United States.

>>255138
Possess my mom.

>>255138
posses a black man

>>255144
>>255156
>>255158
>>255160
Why not all of the above?

>>255144
>>255156
Possess the cancer-ridden corpse of Former President Trump.

>>255171
Only way to be a true paladin is to become the holiest creature himself.

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>>255144
>>255156
>>255158
>>255178


You possess robotic demonic overlord Hilary Clinton

>>255181
Make a law that all liberals must be genocided then kill ourselves.

>>255181
Build the Trump wall even higher.

>>255181
Fuse to Former President Trump's frozen head.

>>255190
This. We must commit the ultimate act of Lawful Goodness.

>>255181
demolish congress
aggregate power
take over the world

>>255192
>>255190
these>>255200

Oh yeah, don't forget to suck Bernie Sander's dick. Revenge.

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>>255190
>>255192

You build the wall higher and eliminate all the liberals, the people rejoice!

But what's this? The soul of Hilary has come back to claim her rightful body! Roll a d16 to see the outcome

1-8: You die
9-13: You both die
13-16: Hillary is dead for good

Rolled 1 (1d16)

>>255214

>>255218
Please, don't ever roll again.

>>255148
We're trying to be paladins this time though, that was the goal!

>>255218
Next life lets try to assasinate hillary because of this massive failure.

>>255224
I think we did a good job.

-Stopped a robbery
-Became a police officer
-Subdued a criminal
-Made a better trump wall.

>>255225
There is no next life. WE'RE FUCKING DEAD

>>255228
I meant character. It will be the true paladin run to destroy the ultimate evil.

>>255231
Just face it, you people can't play a good character, it's literally your kryptonite. There has to be at least three brutally evil murders in each thread or it's not allowed to exist.

>>255238
I dunno, we saved a shit ton of aliens back in the first thread by sacrificing ourself on our own prober. That's gotta be pretty good on the karma wheel.

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>>255218
You are dead for good. Hillary has been proven to be too strong for you. You ascend to fish heaven.

Humans killed: 124
Fishes fucked: 6734
Number of times died: 11

At this run at your life you:

>Accidently killed a high aquaman
>Got tossed into a shark tank
>Befriended the sharks
>Inadvertantly caused the death of a staff member
>Successfully infiltrated the staff as a shark and tuna in disguise
>Ate the manager
>Fucked an eel and had children
>Evolved arms and legs
>Fucked almost every creature in the aquarium until you died
>Possessed an eel
>Saved a brain dead mermaid
>Became the direct cause of an aquarium burning to the ground
>Started life as your average everyday Joe
>Enlisted into the police force
>Subdued a nigger
>Bit the testes off a criminal
>Crawled up his ass
>Assumed control of his body
>Made him rip his partner's dick off
>Crawled into the other robbers body and ate hi heart
>Got thrown in jail
>Got shot in the head
>Possesed the robotic demonic Overlord Hillary Clinton
>Died twice

whew lads

>>255238
I tried to be good the entire time. Some others fucked it all up.

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>>255246
Your moral compass shifts. You earn 200 CN

>>255276
That was our longest round yet and we only earned 200 cronons?

Fuck this Paladin shit, it's not working.

>>255280
500 CN

You happy?

>>255284
Fine.

>>255284
NEW LIFE TIME

>>255276
So when will you make the next thread, OP?

>>255301
Oh you think it is over? You weren't in the last boredom quest. This? It's about 1/100th of the quest. Come on, OP, show this guy what you're made of.

>>255301
When the image limit is reached or when i have to disappear for a week in a few days.

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>>255276
Hey now, roll a d4, live a new life, fuck chicks

1, Survivalist in the jungles of Brazil
2.「A STAND USER」
3. Gourmet chef
4. A guy who think's he's Jesus

Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>255327

Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>255327

>>255330
http://www.strawpoll.me/10478177

Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>255327
2 get
SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT

>>255327
You know what? Because I'm a huge fan of JBA, I'll let you guys be a stand user if you want.

>>255348
What Stand do we get

>>255348
oh fuck i thought the red guy was a superhot reference. but this is even better desu

>>255348
Can we make our own stand?

>>255354
You can, or if you want to make this quick, you can spend 1500 CN for a random Stand ability.

>>255348
Yes lets be a stand user

>>255356
YES!

>>255356
our stand's hands should be penises.

>>255360
To making your own stand or to rolling?

>>255356
But my shekels...

>tfw have a Stand ability that might fit this story but don't want to look autistic
fuck it pleasure manipulation

>>255372
thats good, really good, but what about

cum manipulation

>>255365
YES!

>>255377
that's pretty much the power except you can also make them feel like shit

>>255356
Actually you know what? pay 1000 CN and I'll make a strawpoll for various stand powers

>>255381
Do it

>>255365
Yes, yes, oh my god...

>>255381
Yes

>>255380
would pleasure manipulation let you draw someones semen up through their body and out their eyeballs?

what about mind minipulation, then we will never die

>>255409
Can cum manipulation make someone crumple into an orgasmic mess and then a depressed shell of what they were?

>>255425
That's the extent of it though, with cum manipulation the possibilities are ENDLESSi never thought i would say that...why am i here

>>255453
>>255425

I feel that cum manipulation is a little overpowered, so i'm not going to add that power into the strawpoll. Don't worry, you'll still like the roster

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come on OP, you know you want to

>>255474
Is pleasure manipulation out as well?

>>255479
Yeah, that's more overpowered than cum manipulation. Like, you can change a person's pleasure to getting beat up by you. That's pretty OP.

Don't worry about it you guys. You'll still like the selection

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>>255499
as long as this is what our stand looks like

>>255508
where's the duster/trenchcoat/whatever you call the long jacket?
oh and a fedora is a must

>>255509
a greater man than i will have to add those to complete the piece

a prize of ONE MILLION DOLLARS to the man who completes this artwork

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>>255513
best I could do

>>255625
very nice

>>255625
i meant the fedora for the guy in the trenchcoat holy shit my sides

>>255327
Okay, creating unique and fair powers is a lot harder than I thought. So, here they are:

1.「Touch」You can control your own blood. You stand is your blood. Touch is extremely precise, though not very strong. It has to be connected as one single form to work i.e. no blood bullets. Yes, you can add blood to your cum.
2.「Deep Purple」Your stand has magnets on its hands that can attract or repel magnetic objects. This means you can shoot metal bullets at people
3. 「Crescendolls」Can summon 20, one-foot tall golems to attack people. These golems "rise" from whatever material they are made out of. If a golem rises from wood, it is made of wood. If a golem rises out of cum, it is made of cum. They last about two minutes before disintegrating.
4. 「Black and Blue」The ability to "steal" and "add" heat. If Black and Blue places it's hands into water for example, if it added heat, it boils, and if it steals heat, it freezes. The ability adds/steals a degree every 10 seconds.
5.「St. Anger」The ability to speed up the corrosion of inorganic objects. Say, if the stand were touching a fork, the fork would rust. If the stand was touching a window, the window would shatter and turn to dust.
6. 「Stylo」The ability to draw (literally, like using a pencil to draw a picture) simple objects (swords, bats, dildos, chairs, cum) into and out of reality. If the user drew a sword, Stylo would make the sword a physical object. If the user wanted a baseball to become a drawing, Stylo would turn it into a pencil drawing (this effect applies to the user as well) A drawn sword can only last half a minute before deteriorating into dust, though an object turned into a drawing can stay that way for ten minutes at most. Stylo can only draw out two objects at most.

http://www.strawpoll.me/10478852

>>255690
>cum golems
holy shit

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>>255690
By popular vote, Crescendolls has been chosen, probably because of the fact you can make cum golems.

Crescendolls takes the form of a gun because I can't be bothered to make a detailed ghost person. I'm leaving the design of "Jonas Jonanon" to you guys, however. And I did add some penises onto Crescendolls.

>>255772
Oh yeah, when you shoot a bullet into a certain material, a golem rises

>>255772
shoot self in the foot

>>255782
Siiiiick

>>255772
Fuck the barrel. Make penis golems.

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>>255772
Okay some backstory, you found this weird knife thing in the woods. You fiddle with it and you cut yourself by accident. That's how you got Crescendolls.

You were making your way to the library to look up what the fuck happened to you when this weird army guy stops you in your tracks and asks you for the knife. Well, more so demands you that you hand over the knife.

You are in a park, and you are standing on some bricks.

>>255840
Use our stand on him to make golems out of his flesh.

>>255840
hand it over into his heart, blade first.

>>255840
shoot the bricks

>>255840
Whip out your dick and say "only if you suck it, bitch."

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>>255844
You shoot a few bullets at him, but he read your movements and dodged. But dodging bullets, when they're being fired at you from like five feet away, is fairly difficult. He dodges all but one. The other few land in the bricks behind him. They begin to attack him.

>>255894
He can see them? He must be A STAND USER! (though we don't know this)

Whip out your dick and tell him to suck it or die to your little men.

>>255894
Shoot a few more bullets into the bricks
Also do we have stats
>>255907
Maybe it's a bound Stand?

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>>255894
Okay so the intended effect was to actually shoot him to death but you guess your bullets can only create golems

>>255907
Also to answer your question, normies can't see your gun, but they can see your golems.

And before your flesh golem can complete its form, it's god damned head explodes. Yup, guy's a stand user.

>>255917
Keep spamming bullets at him. Eventually he'll have no more flesh to use as a body.

>>255917
Make some distance and constantly fire like a machine gun at him. If he keeps destroying the flesh golems we make from his body, he'll eventually kill himself.

If he doesn't attack them, then we have them aim for his eyes.

>>255917
yare yare daze... spam bullets at brickwall.

>>255917
Do we have unlimited ammo and if so fucking spam the shit out of it at him

>>255928
Up to twenty bullets before a minute long reload

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>>255921
>>255922
>>255924
>>255928

He draws closer. Yeah, he's definitely fucking pissed. Before you can fire Crescendolls...

Nothing hits you. Or something invisible hits you. He sends you flying.

>>255953
SHOOT THE FUCKING GROUND
PANIC

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>>255953
FIRE EVERYTHING

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>>255980
>>255990

He's drawing closer, looking more pissed with each step. You fumble for Crenscendolls.

Oh fuck he's almost here!

And that's tonights cliffhanger! come back tomorrow for more stand quest!

>>255993
oh you cheeky fuck!

>>255993
son of a bitch
I'm on the edge of my seat

Fucking JoJo pose then ara ara ara punch his ass with your gun

Thanks for running

>>255993
1. bend over
2. insert gun into ass
3. fire and make shit golems
4. command them to climb through digestive tract and come out your mouth
5. ???
6. win fight through sheer wtf value

u kno u wanna

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>>255993
So the gay redneck starts walking up to you and says the most cliche thing.

"Any last words?"

Granted that's pretty fucking terrifying from your position, but he clearly didn't take too long to think that one up.

You reply, "You better watch out... there's something afoot."

He replies with the bone-chilling phrase, "... what?"

The golem you shot into the ground earlier managed to catch up to him and punched a chunk of his foot off. Jesus christ, powerful little buggers!

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>>257970
You're pretty sure you made him even madder than before so you run the shit out of here. His invisible stand punches the golems to oblivion.

>>257979
Run away at full speed.

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>>258003
That's pretty much what you're doing right now. As you turn back, you see that he's walking under the shadow of a tree and some weird creature behind him. Is that his stand?

Is his stand power to be invisible under light?

>>258058
Go to a dense part of the forest, where there is little light and more shade. Then fire off 8 rounds of your gun on nearby trees, having the golems hang on them in preparation of an ambush, and 4 of them on rocks, hiding under the rocks for the ambush.

If we can see where he's swinging, then we should be able to have our golems dodge/counter attack his stand.

>>258080
seconding

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>>258080
You're in a park, not a forest, although there is a clump of trees some meters in front of you. You fire 8 rounds into the trees and run into them. Roll a d10 to see if this ambush will work.

1-3: He doesn't go into the forest.
4-7: He goes in, but he knows about the ambush.
8-10: Ambush works.

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>258117

>>258117
ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ

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>>258123
He walks into the forest, he knows your plan but he doesn't care. He has one job: get the knife. He won't let anything stop in his way.

He walks in, and the ambush commences. His stand is now visible, and your golems are able to dodge his attacks more easily, but that isn't to say there weren't any casualties. 4 golems are destroyed, and the other 4 manage to weaken him considerably.

USER: Colonel Nat

STAND NAME: Fade to Black

STAND ABILITIES: The stand is completely invisible under light.

>>258182
We need a battle cry
Also we have any more bullets yet?

Shoot the stand make an invisible-under-light golem

>>258195
we have 8 left.

Also, I'm thinking that our golem guys go "ARIARIARIARIARIARI" but you decide.

>>258195
NOW TAKE THIS, THE POWER OF MY STAND!

GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA GIRA!

>>258205
okay i have to leave for a bit. You guys mull over what the battle cry is aite

I say we make it TAPU TAPU TAPU

>>258205
CUMA CUMA CUMA CUMA

it should definetly be DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA

PAF PAF PAF PAF PAF

We need to make getaway golems.

Vote on our battle cry.

http://www.strawpoll.me/10485908

>>258260
It should be "Allah Ackbar"

>>258351
>>258260
Aloha Snackbar

>>258376
I'm pretty sure they prefer Gay Bars.

>>258404
gotta shoot em all

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>>258182
Nat runs out to get into the light. He just now realizes that he's at a severe disadvantage standing in under these trees. He runs out and a branch falls onto him. There's someone on him.

HOLY SHIT IT'S SOME FAGGOT WEARING SWEATPANTS AND A CUM STAINED JACKET A.K.A YOU. You knew Nat was going to run out of the trees into sunlight. You purposely broke a branch off a tree and landed on him.

>>258604
shit on him
then shoot the shit

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>>258604
You shot some bullets into the branch. Golems start to emerge! There's no escape now! Nat is finished!

TAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPU

Nat is defeated!

>>258610
Fuck yeah
Interrogate him

>>258610
impregnate him.

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>>258617
>>258623

nigga's knocked out. He wont's be waking up for a long time.

Also you're not gay, you think.

>>258630
take his penis as a trophy

>>258630
I kinda wanna know if we can make him our ally but I know we probably can't
Though we did show our superiority over him.

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>>258633
Someone called the police, so you rush back home. You do take his hat and belt.

You're now back at your shitty apartment. What do you do?

>>258657
Try to talk to your Stando

>>258657
buy a long jacket

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>>258688
You go to the Stando Shop to find a good jacket, but every article of clothing in this fucking shop looks absolutely ridiculous. Only an asshole would wear this.

>>258720
well it's better than a cumstained sweater so...

>>258720
you are an asshole
wear it anyway

Let's wear it.

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>>258727
>>258745
>>258751

You decide having shitty clothes is better than having REALLY shitty ones. You head down to the self check-out because you can't speak to people.

Ugh god, the screen is glitching out. This is just great.

Wait... is that... a face?

OH FUCK IT'S ANOTHER STAND GOD DAMMIT.

>>258810
shoot at the wall to make a golem, then shoot at the golem to make a golem 2

>>258810
SHOOT THE HOPEFULLY TILE FLOOR

Fuck it, shoot everything.

>>258818
SHOOT THE CUM STAIN!!!!!
CUM TRAVELS AT 20MPH PER HOUR
IT WILL BE FASTEST GOLEM

>>258829
HOLY SHIT THIS
CUM GOLEMS EVERYWHERE

>>258840
LET'S DOO IIIIIT

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>>258829
>>258840
>>258843

You shoot your cum stains to make cum golems. Now you're ready to fight, but now you need to wait a minute to reload. The stand says that he never intended to fight you in the first place.

He states that if you just hand over the knife, your life will be easier, and you won't have to deal with the constant threat of death all the time.

But... you left the knife at home. What do you do?

>>258879
Punch him.

>>258879
ask the stand if he takes that mask off will he die?

>>258891
well, he is a big guy

>>258920
for you.

>>258920
for the protagonist

>>258879
Strip to show you don't have knife.
Make glorious pose pointing to the sky while flexing.

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>>258887
In a panic, you send a golem towards him. He punches it in an instant. He's fucking precise as shit.

"Look, if you don't want to give it up, then I'll have to force you. Get ready, asshole."

(Roundabout plays. See you tomorrow)

>>258974
>>258963
Also, say a guy with an invisible stand took the knife from you.

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>>258974
So the stand pins you to a column by your neck, squeezing every bit of breath out of you as he screams "Where's the knife?"

You say the invisible stand guy took, but he says that bullshit since he was lying on the park, nearly dead.

What do you do?

>>261127
call him out on claiming not to be here to fight us

>>261127
Kick him in the balls

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>>261147
>>261153

You call him out on the not fighting thing. He says that he's sticking to his words since there is no fight. You're not fighting back. What a cunt.

You also try kicking him in the balls, but he's a Stand, and you're human. It only served to make him angrier.

Come on, think! Is there some correlation between that machine and him?

>>261127
act shocked. Say someone else must have taken it from the invisible stand guy.
Also, strip.

>>261165
there's no correlation between the machine and him
shoot the machine anyway

>>261165
Tell him that you have to pee and you want to take a quick pee break before he goes back to choking you.

Then when he lets go, as he obviously will, you walk up to the computer and unplug it.

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>>261167
>>261169
>>261170

You try every trick in the book: I have to go to the bathroom, someone else took it. He just ain't buying it, because your charisma fucking sucks.

Fortunately, your cum golem is still around, so you command it to punch the self-check out monitor. In an instant, the Stand vanishes.

You stand there with your pants soaked and your spaghetti falling out of your pocket. You rush out of the store without paying for your jacket.

>>261206
Go to a place without any computers and create a couple of grass golems (camouflaged in the grass) surrounding your position to look out for any suspicious people approaching.

>>261223
After cooling it for a day or two, you decide that you should go out. Vote for a place to go:

1. Your home is the safest place, look up the knife on the internet.
2. You need a longer break. You're also hungry. Go to a Mcdonalds.
3. A library will get you the information about the knife. Go there.

http://www.strawpoll.me/10493346

>>261240
votin #1.

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>>261240
You decide that you haven't eaten good food in a while, so you head down to McD's and order a cheeseburger.

You sit alone.

At least you have a cool jacket.

>>261277
Shoot the burger.

>>261277
Feel depressed that you're still a virgin.

Then bring the burger to the bathroom and add your own "special sauce" to it before eating it.

>>261277
holy fuck theres a omnisious presence near the window it's our angry ex

>>261277
skip forward to the end of this episode so I can hear the dope ass music

>>261279
Sure, why not?

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>>261279
>>261284

You shoot the burger and create a burgolem. You're... not sure why you did that, considering all that's happening right now. You start getting thoughts about fucking it, but your...

...

why would you want to fuck a sentient burger, you weirdo?

>>261308
Because it's sexy.

Go fuck the burger in the bathroom.

>>261308
Fuck.
The.
Burger.

>>261308
Make more golems out of random McDonald's food.

>>261312
a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

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>>261310
>>261312
>>261340

You say, "why the fuck not."

As you enter the bathroom, you accidently bump shoulders with some guy. That's pretty embarrassing (at least to your socially inept ass), so you rush right into the bathroom.

When you enter, you suddenly notice that you're... heavier. You try to think none of it, but suddenly you can't even stand under your own weight. You buckle under your weight and you fall to the ground, unable to stand up.

A figure stands over you. You can't tell what he looks like from your position, but you can make out his stand. He starts frisking you for the knife. Unfortunately, you have the knife with you. You better think of something quick.

>>261392
Have the burger golem attack his balls.

>>261392
Have the burger golem crawl up his ass, kicking his balls on its way in.

He'll learn not to fuck with an extremely horny guy who just wants a bit of private time.

>>261392
Buddy, if you have to do this now, could you at least help me get my pants down so I can fuck this burger?

Give him the knife.

>>261392
do this>>261398
and if he doesn't obey this>>261397

R.I.P
OP
Died of AIDS.

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>>261541
I have a life you know? Shit happens

>>261395
>>261397

Burger golem bursts out of your jacket and goes all TAPUTAPUTAPUon his balls. He keels over in pain. The gravity loosens significantly. It appears that he needs to concentrate in order to keep you pinned.

>>261614
Shoot his neck 4 times and have your golems choke him until he passes out, then tie him up to hold him prisoner.

>>261614
Have the burger keep up the assault stab him in the neck with the knife.

Create toilet golems and headlock him as they continue crushing his testicles

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>>261626
You lift up your arm as high as it can go and shoot under the stall while he's distracted. You manage to get three shots in before you collapse. He starts to focus again and you're pinned on the ground.

Before you collapse you manage to see who your assailant is.

>>261620
>>261623

Are you mad? This knife creates stand users! The side effects could be disastrous if you stab a stand user with it!

>>261664
Have the golems attack then stab ourself with the knife.

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>>261664
USER: Vince Halen

STAND NAME: Bullethead

STAND ABILITIES: Any person that Bullethead touches is affected by Bullethead's ability: to increase the targets gravity. This effect requires large amounts of concentration, however.

>>261675
You don't really know what might happen when you stab yourself, but you don't want another stand or some shit. This one already got you into a shit-ton of trouble anyways, you don't want more.

However, you do need to escape! Roll d12 for attack success.

1-3: Failure
4-8: Attack sort of works. Lose two golems in the process.
9-12: Success.

>>261664
I said to SHOOT his neck, not STAB it.

Rolled 10 (1d12)

>>261692

Rolled 2 (1d12)

>>261692
it's almost like he has no neck

>>261692
SHOOT
THE
KNIFE

Have two golem preform a magic trick to distract him

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>>261706

Your sneak attack goes as planned! His stand is slow, and it couldn't hit your agile golems.

TAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPUTAPU

His concentration is broken! Do you leave or fight?

>>261776
Shoot the knife then spray him with bullets.

>>261776
Fight.

Whip out your dick and shove it in his face while your little men choke him out. If a sudden dick in his face doesn't cause him to lose all concentration, then I don't know what will.

>>261790
we risk getting our dick punched
I say we whip out HIS dick

>>261832
yeah and then start sucking him off
for escape of course

>>261832
Whip out both our dicks and rub them together. If he's gay, then he'll be too aroused to concentrate; if he's not, then he'll be freaking out too much.

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>>261787
>>261790
>>261843

You plan to do some gay shit with him, but your golems are beating the everloving shit out of him, so you just stand there with your dick out like a faggot.

But... what the fuck is happening to the knife?

>>261866
you accidentally shot the knife and made a knife golem duh

>>261866
push the shit back into the knife duh

>>261866
pat it

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>>261866
It flying towards Vince. That's helpful. Why does it look so dementOH HOLY JESUS HE JUST RIPPED THE FUCKER IN HALF.

>>261888
Whos a good knife golem? You are! Lets take him somewhere to get rewarded.

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>>261900
Apparently it wants to be rewarded in the death of you! This thing is out of fucking control!

If you don't act fast, you'll surely end up like Vince!

>>261908
Shoot each half of Vince's corpse.

>>261908
RUN NIGGER

>>261908
Clearly he need a firm but kind talking to to put him on the right track in life.

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>>261915

Yeah that seems like a great idea. Your golems attempt to hold this knife golem (let's call it Seek & Destroy, S&D for short) down but it is all fruitless! S&D is extremely powerful!

Hopefully, it lasts three minutes like the other golems.

>>261948
Strip naked.

We've gotta lose some weight to out speed it.

>>261948
Start shooting random food on the way out to slow down the knife golem.

>>261961
this, but make sure it's a little ways ahead of you so they have time to grow
Also, can we get a number count on how many bullets we have left or is it our job to keep count?

>>261971
We have 9 bullets left.

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>>261955
>>261961
>>261971

We strip down to our underwear to speed up and to slow down S&D. You don't get rid of the coat because that shit was expensive as fuck.

You shoot sporadically in front of you, but you mostly keep your aim on metal stuff.

You run out of bullets. Two more minutes until S&D expires.

>>262059
Turn around and punch it to stun it.

>>262059
... shit, did we forget the knife? Is S&D the knife? Fuck it, too much trouble. Run into a gay bar, your nudity won't be questioned there.

>>262059
Take out the knife and stab S&D while it's slowed down by your golems. Surely stabbing a stand with the thing that creates stands will cancel out the stand, right? :^)

>>262085
S&D is the knife

>>262098
I thought it just made a golem out of the knife, not turn the actual object into a golem.

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>>262098
S&D is technically a clone of the knife. It emerged from it when Crescendoll shot it.

The knife is back at the bathroom. S&D is getting overwhelmed by the other golems. You need to get to that knife. You don't know what the fuck it even is, but you can tell that thing has some serious fucking power. You can't let it fall to the wrong hands.

>>262120
Smash S&D with a chair wrestlemania style then go for the knife.

>>262128
I agree with this idea.

>>262120
Go back, get the knife, then stab S&D with it.

>>262128
>>262134
>can cut a nigger in half
>think a chair will help
Let's fucking do it