cat in the big city quest

>>2413
I am Thorn Stormwind, and I fight for glory and treasure!

>>2413
My name is Spot and I want to be a postmodern humanist.

>>2413
My name is puppy and I want to be a dog.

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>>2425
>I am Thorn Stormwind, and I fight for glory and treasure!

You shout this, blindly into the city streets.

"Wait, you fight?" asks a homeless child, "Do you think you could help me with something?"

>>2502
beat him up

>>2504
Nay, for he might lead us to GLORY AND TREASURE

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>>2504
>>2514
You hold back your strong desire to beat the shit out of the kitten, allowing him to explain his situation.

He instinctively moves a few steps away before speaking.

"Well, y'see, there's a whole lotta bad cats in this town, stealin' all the fish-- I was thinkin' maybe somebody as tough as you could help steal it back."

He looks a bit nervous, adding: "But you'd have to bring me with you, only I know where they're hiding it."

>>2502

Brush up against his leg and claim him as your pet.

>>2620
I've seen this before!
That cat is actually a demon in disguise, dont trust his cute inconspicuous face!

>>2620

Blow him off. Why go on a risky raid to steal fish back from mean cats when there are plenty of humans you can steal from instead?

>>2638
But fish.
We need fish.

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>>2638
You're right.... WAIT A MINUTE. THREE STROKES EACH ON HIS BODY. THAT ADDS UP TO 6. 6 THREE TIMES, WITH THREE STROKES IS 666. IT'S THE ANTICHRIST! KILL THIS FUCKING HERETICAL KITTEN.

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>>2621
>>2638
You begin to accept the kittens offer, but you suddenly realize something. This is just like the stories of demons your dear mother used to tell you as a child.

You go back to your original plan of beating the shit out of them, when someone shouts.

"Hey, you there! What are you doing to that little boy?!"

>>2723

Run away and find some humans to infect with Toxoplasmosis.

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>>2726
You run. There are some vague plans to infect humans with your feces, but they don't get much time to form. You see the cat who shouted at you, surrounded entirely by dogs.

"The Baby-Puncher's running! Getem' boys!" The cat shouts at his pets.

The dogs are catching up quick, what do you do?

>>2838
Climb up the nearest human.

>>2838

Climb up something the dogs can't follow you at.

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>>2861
You make your way up a tall lamppost, but the dogs are still at the bottom, this doesn't exactly seem like the noble adventure you wanted.

>>2893

Shit on them and infect them with toxoplasmosis.

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>>2898
You try to take a dump, but it's no use, you've never been able to do it with people watching.

>>2940
Jump onto a human.

>>2413
Read the name as Cat in the Bag quest

>>2940

Try harder. It's not like there's anything else you can do and some waste products might make those dogs go away.

Add in piss if that's easier.

>>2940
ruse them into looking to the left, jump and run to the right

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>>2957
You look to the left, exciting the dogs, then run back the way you came. They take a minute to catch on, so you've mostly lost them.

Unfortunately, right around the corner is the demon kitten and the bastard who sent dogs after you.

"Uhuh, I can show you where they're keepin' them if you want, mister!" the kitten says enthusiastically.

"Alright then, lead the way kiddo," he replies.

>>3014
beat the hell out of that bastard

>>3014
Ask him what he did that for, how he controlled those mutts, and how you can, too!

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Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>2413

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>>3041

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>>3049

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>>3059

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>>3034
You confront the cat.

"What did you do that for?!" you hiss.

"How did you-- you were attacking this young boy. Of course you deserved to be punished for it," he grumbles, pulling the kitten closer.

"He's clearly a demon," you start, walking a few steps closer in an attempt to intimidate, "But how did you control those mutts?"

Asking this was a mistake. As the cat soon begins explaining his religion.

"It's my god-given gift," he says, proudly, "I can speak to the dogs as long as I'm fully devoted-- but this is my gift alone. Even if you stopped being a godless child abuser, you would never be as powerful as I am."

>>3124
I'm a follower of the god of Glory, Qesto.
What god do you follow?

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>>3137
"I follow Qesto, god of glory," you announce.

"You're bluffing," he mumbles, "All the followers of Qesto died in the flood that washed away their cardboard boxes."

"Do you want to risk it, follower of.. who do you follow?"

"Don't risk it!" the kitten squeals.

"I follow Mittens..." He says, quietly.

>>3213
My father and siblings followed Qesto.
That's why it was just a mother and one kitten.
Also, FUCKING MITTENS?

>>3223
>My father and siblings followed Qesto.
I meant to say that they died in that flood.

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>>3223
"My father took my sisters down to the Qesto compound after a fight with my mother over proper worship," you explain.

"But I refused to leave. Mother and I believed strongly that Qesto could be worshiped outside the compound, as long as we still had a proper box. She did her best to teach me alone."

"...But more importantly, you got superpowers from FUCKING MITTENS?"

The orange cat stumbles, "Look, this isn't important-- Mittens is perfectly respectable, but I have no time to fight. Didn't you hear, a band of cats is stealing all the fish!"

He's clearly trying to change the subject. The kitten nods along furiously.

>>3283
Well, it's not like defeating those bandits would be GLORIOUS or anything, right?

>>3283

>Press the issue of the kitten being a demon.

>>3283
Try to fuck one of the cats.

This is a cutely-drawn quest, OP.

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>>3059

>>3283
ask where the bandits are hiding out, and begin to come up with a plan to get them back.

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qt quest op

Catbump.
Also, intermission:
https://www.pwnyoutube.com/watch?v=lAIGb1lfpBw

OP is probably asleep.

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>>3314

>>5337
After them.
Also, keep a lookout for treasure.

Alright, let's go.
But don't let that kitten out of your sight for a second!.

>>5337
I don't suppose you can put a leash on the kitten, can you?
>For safety purpose

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>>5385

Now that we have the artifact, we don't have to stick around here anymore. Let's hit up the local dumpster.

>>5697
I guess that's pretty GLORIOUS.
Send the dog out to check for traps, if he triggers one it's okay since he's just a mindless dog anyway

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>>5775

Jump out at the tuxedo girl and try to startle her!
Yell "OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!!!"

Use your mighty cat courage to pin her down and demand answers

>>5959
rape her

>>5959
Sneak attack for maximum damage

>>5959
Pounce on her, like a true hero of justice!

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>6346
2nded
Calling on dice gods

>>5959
Tuxedo Cat is clearly here to tell you how to use the magic from your accessory.

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>>6346

>>6842
Betrayal! The small one was indeed a Demon, which means this large one must be a Devil!

Pounce, like the hero of justice we are!

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>>6842
kitties souldnt fight.

>>6842
Slay the Demon Tuxedo cat.

We need to stop them before they sacrifice the dog to their demon king!

>>6842
If you "befriend" these lesser hellspawns, you may be able to track them to their leader.
Follow the scales to the head of the snake, so to speak, so that you might cut it off.

>>6842
The small cat is actually a cat shaped dog.

>>6842
This definitely shows signs of a demon cult. Confront them about it.

>>6842
Ask what her name is, also see if you can figure out what is with all the trix and traps.

>>6842
Ask what that was all about.
Also, apologize for the scratch, and if Gingy there comments on it, tell him to shut up.

OP?

>>8611
Draw-based quests can take time.

>>8653
Okay, just wanted to know if he went to sleep or something.

>>2413
>cross the busy street

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>>8098

>>9235
Clearly a demon cult, signal to the mittens follower that it's time to engage them in glorious combat.

The signal is of course attacking them.

>>9235
Eh, fuck it
Pretend to leave, but sneak back in and watch
Sacrifice might look cool, and it's just a stupid dog

>>9235
Get out of there, quickly
Make a convincing argument to Chris pointing out the use of the words "sacrifice," the fact they're taking his ally away, and how the small one was a liar the whole time.
These cats are clearly out to sacrifice other cats, you need to get out of there and bring the rest of the dog army to defeat this heresey

>>9235
See if you can extort some fish out of these cultists, that's what you came for right?

Can this cat be an hero

>>9235
Recruit Gingy and save the mutt.
Maybe it'll obey you if you save it.

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>>9361

>>9308

>>11667
Whoops. I pasted an o at the top. Forgive me.

Updates might be a little slow because I'm suddenly very sick.

>>11681
Confront them claiming they are false believers of Qesto.

>>11667
>>11681
QESTO IS NOT A GOD OF SACRIFICE
THIS HAS NO GLORY
THEY BESMIRCH THE NAME OF YOUR GOD
ATTACK

Let's hold back a little bit to see what happens.
They might be using a different meaning of the word "Sacrifice."

>>12130
>Defending these cats mocking our god
GET OUT

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>>11889
>>11891

>>12388
"GET OUT OF MY FUCKING YOU MONSTERS!"
Start attacking the already injured cat.

>>12388
Betrayer! Attack her for abandoning the true way of Qesto!

More specifically, challenge her for leadership of the Qesto cult. By attacking her without warning

>>12388
SACRIFICE IS NOT GLORIOUS
I LIVED SO I COULD FIND MY GLORY
I AM THE TRUE CHRIST OF QESTO
Also, try to stall for your mutts.

>>12395
Meant to insert a mind in there*

>>12388
Look inwards to your soul
Become a vessel of Questo's voice so they may hear it from Questo himself

And then call them fags

You search deep inside yourself and find a power once lost, you channel the power and know it to be that of Sgt. Mike Cosgrove.

You tell the cats to cut that out.

>>12388
Tell the cats to stop being retarded, also call your sister a 'back stabbing bitch!' (As in a female dog, a grave insult among cat-kind)

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>>12451

>>14313
These cats are pulling some crazy shit! Tell them to quit being such shits, please, my lord Qesto!

>>14313
>Some false believers think that sacrificing is the new fad.

>>14313
"Yea some ass holes are trying so sacrifice an old dog to you or some shit, could you please tell them to fuck off?"

>>14313
Tell him what's going on, then show your graditude by singing Smash Mouth - All Star like your mother taught you

>>14313
Also, Qesto has a frog as his little buddy, like Odin's crows.
The frog acts like a C3PO style worrywart adviser.
And he's British.
"We shouldn't have come down here!"

>>14447
>Smash Mouth - All Star
Of course, you don't understand the words.
You think it is a human holy song because you saw a young human male singing a variant of it while praying to a man in a mask and a man with arms on his beltloops.

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Going to go help my grandmother today, have this before I go.

>>18715
(feel free to suggest for other characters in this specific situation because it would be funny)

>>18715
I feel like the dog controlling cat should burst in soon with a huge pack of rabid chihuahuas, then later we could run into a group of Hispanic women searching for there "poor baby's!"

>>18715
The dog god Ruffles, poor guy got lost on his way to the dog pantheon. We want time powers!

>>18833
>>14467
Maybe?
Also, do we get to suggest our powers?
Let's get some Spidy-sense.

>>18715
Ask for the power of laser eyes.

new cat when

>>18715
Ask for lasereyes

Also, the dog god stops by and gives more dog-powers to that MittensPriest, because he assumes he saved the old dog from being sacrificed.

>>19400
Adding this to my post >>19105

>>18715
Definitely time based powers.

>>19417
Imagine the irony of having a dog god in a cat pantheon. He got lost on his way.

>>19400
>>19457
TIME-TRAVELLING EYE BEAM-BEAMS!

I am me and my cat dream is to get adopted then bang the lover or parent of whoever adopted me

>>20557

>time eyes

This is some Cheshire Cat stuff.

>>20557
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
THIS ONE, I CHOOSE THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>20557
YES
SO WE CAN TIME TRAVEL, AND SHOOT EYE BEAMS?
>>21072
OUR EYES ALSO ALWAYS GLOW.
I'd also be fine with just regular Cheshire Cat stuff.

This shit looks pretty fucking snazzy, I'm gonna lurk for a bit before joining in.

Bumping this to prevent death.

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bump

Op here, still helping grandma, coming home today

>>28906
Although i don't think the thread can be bumped, so RIP

>>28915
Make a new thread when you get back OP

>>18715
You ask for time-traveling ray vision
Questo, being the Godcat of Adventure, gives you the ability to shoot Ray Romano heads of varying ages out of your eyes

Will you make a new thread?

>>29817
Probably, when i get back.