I'm going to bring something new to /qst/, just to test the waters and see what people think..
We're all suspects in this case. Our quest is to seek out a murderer. It's plain and simple.
My name is Detective Carlos, and I'm on the case to figure out who the murderer is.. And you are all going to help me. :^)
RULES:
>Pick a character, any character whatsoever, and post in this thread. (For example, I'm Carlos from The Magic School Bus.)
>Every post that's in character in this thread counts as a roll.
>If you roll dubs, you die.
>If you roll trips, you are a suspect.
>If you roll quads, you are the murderer.
>You can start again as another character if you die.
>I will keep track of the deaths, unless someone steps up as the coroner.
DEATHS:None yet. Rolls dubs to get your name here!
There we go. Now that we got introductions out of the way, I guess it's time to PUNish that murderer, eh?
Anyone have any leads?
>>232725
GRIIIIIIIFFFFFFIIIIIIIITTTTTTTHHHHHHHH
>>232723
So what does it mean if I am the suspect?
And is the murderer caught automatically or do they try to hide?
>>232732
WHOA man, calm down a little! No need to get all whack! Just calm down and tell me what you saw. Any leads are helpful.
>>232733
DUBS!!!
>>232733If you're the suspect, basically everyone in the thread will just be like "so and so seems a little suspicious, I would recommend staying away from them."
Once the murderer is found, he gets a rebuddle, and then usually a new thread starts.
Plus, you just died.
Aaaaand, there's a dead body. This night is already fantastic.
DEATHS:
Finn the Human
>>232725
Do you play Risk Carlos?
Neat idea, but I must sleep. Awaken me on the night of the morrow.
-Vampire Sunflower
>>232742
If by risk, you mean risking my life, then sure!
Also if you mean the board game, then also yes!
>>232744
Hah
>>232755
It's not a hat that's my head you imbecile.
Enjoy dying you failure of a detective.
>>232755
Fucking great. Now our detective is dead.
That was quick. This murderer sure does strike fast.
>How do you know it wasn't you?
BECAUSE, I am curRENTLY TAKIng a BREAK from murder shut your fucking mouth.
DEATHS:
Finn The Human
Vampire Sunflower
Detective Carlos
>>232746
Do you perhaps play it in here?
> only one person uses Carlos more often than I in /qst/.
RAWR MY HANDS ARE ENORMOUS FUCK MEXICANS
>>232766
>>232764
Nice hat.
>>232760
Nice.. hat? I don't think that's your head.
>>232773
Nice hat. I know that things a hat. Don't even try, DJ Trump.
>>232775
> tfw you thought you saw someone you knew? Only to realize they're a stranger
>>232790
>it's okay anon, at least you haven't died yet.
Get out of my head.
>nah
Welp. Time to force 'em out.
This seems interesting
>>232811
Dead already.
Try again, Dave.
DEATHS:
Finn The Human
Vampire Sunflower
Detective Carlos
Faggot Anonymous
Dave
>>232787
I possess a rare genetic mutation for my species that lets me transform into more powerful forms. See this form, this is what happens to what's atop my head when I transform. it's a genetic ability. If it was just a hat it wouldn't change into the four-pronged number you see here.
>>232811
hah!
Connie Cohen, a Concerned Citizen from Waterworks.
>>232725
>Anyone have any leads?
Those punks who stole the water in my town.
>>232829
Sorry, forgot to include my picture.
>>232833
Scheiße
Lang lebe der Fuhrer!
>>232832
I guess now is a good time to promote myself to DETECTIVE, so I can answer statements like these!
>that doesn't sound like a good idea.
I don't give a fuck what you think. I do what I want.
[UPGRADED STATUS TO DETECTIVE DEADPOOL]
What are their names, ma'am?
I'm a murderer. All those..entire colonies of rats. Fathers, mothers, children.
The squeaks stay with me at night. If it was for the meowing from the cats I would've gone mad by now.
>>232844
Really? Because you look like a dead body with a knife sticking out of your back.
>good one DEADpool
>Nice pun.
DEATHS:
Finn The Human
Vampire Sunflower
Detective Carlos
Faggot Anonymous
Dave
Charlie
>>232833
I have no clue what you're talking about dead man.
>>232844
Hah! You monkeys kill yourselves so well it's like I don't even need to destroy your planet.
I'm still destroying your planet.
Charlie? Charlie you bastard get back here. Where is that slimy no good freak! When I get him I'm gonna kill him! STAY OUT OF MY MEAT FRIDGE CHARLIE
>>232846
Ohh..shit
Well..I for sure didn't do that
>>232854
That's quite alright, Frank!
As detective, I will get to the bottom of these crimes! Hopefully I won't get murdered in the process!
>>232848
Whose this asshole with the dong headgear?
me in the middle
>>232864
Shit, I hoped someone would end my suffering
>>232860
It seems like Dong-head is the most likely suspect. I don't even think he's human, definently not American though.
Jesus, your face looks like a dogs asshole Detective!
>>232862
Your better. Cooler. Of my petulant little brother's Frieza Force.
>>232871
Frieza Force? Is that a hip-hop band? Or are you in Techno? That would explain your dong-esque headgear.
We're not getting anywhere at this rate. Our progress is just, too slow.
>>232864
>>232875
It isn't headgear. At all. Stop being stupid.
OBVIOUSLY the killer put small bombs in their food, that's how he could kill without raising too much suspicion.
>>232881
Forgot the picture of the hat!
>>232879
Your forehead is a penis? Are your women's vaginas the size of watermelons?
>so, are we getting anywhere?
Nope!
I got it! Let's be as obvious of a target as possible.
That'll lure him!
>>232887
W-what? Salza! Check this peon's power level. I think I'm going to kill him.
>>232900
Hah!
>>232900
TOO OBVIOUS
TOO FUCKING OBVIOUS ABORT ABORT
DEATHS:
Finn The Human
Vampire Sunflower
Detective Carlos
Faggot Anonymous
Dave
Charlie
CC
I will use my dragon magic to find the killer
>>232907
Want to get freaky? I bet I could sell your dong head in Nam' as an aphrodisiac. Those Asians will eat anything if they think it'll give them a boner!
>>232900
>>232900
D-damn it! That lure worked! That plan was too good, but nobody got sight of the killer, did they!? DAAAAAAAAMN IIIIIIIIIIIT.
>>232919
Frank! I must go!
I'm promoting you to detective while I'm gone!
CATCH THAT KILLER!
>we believe in you frank!
>Don't die, btw.
>>232919
Oh, Salza. There you are. Thank you for . . . what?
No. No, that's not posible. HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY BE THAT HIGH?!
>>232920
If we all dress up in suits and act like a bitch we will survive. If this asshole can make it so can we.
>>232917
Christ is that a luck dragon? Are you from a never ending story?
>>232929
>>232931
That's right Jebronis. That's DETECTIVE Frank now.
I suggest we tie up Dong Head and see what he knows?
Let's waterboard him!!
>>232938
I can breathe in space. I can certainly breathe underwater.
Kia ora. I might be able to help if you want.
>>232944
Another one of Earth's leaders falls.
>>232941
Yeah but are you heat resistant! I suggest we tie him up and torture him with a blow torch!
>>232952
I can survive being thrown into the sun, I doubt a simple human constructed blow torch will even make feel a tickle.
>>232944
Oh shit! Did you see that guy? He looked tough as balls!! This murderer must be a gigantic asshole!
DEATHS:
Finn The Human
Vampire Sunflower
Detective Carlos
Faggot Anonymous
Dave
Charlie
CC
Tipene Solomon
It totarry wasn't me. Honest!
>>232952
>>232962
Never mind the dong brain look! A chink!! Waterboard him!!
My gun will keep us safe from his slant eyed ways.
>>232961
Maybe the murderer is poisoning victims using some kinda unknown drug? Or maybe he's a trained sniper? Or MAYBE he's a super powerful alien with a penis for a head that has barely any weaknesses?
>>232974
The latter is not only prosperous, but even if it were true his head certainly doesn't look like a penis.
Oops, watch the eye beams. Coming on your right.
Y'all suck, dat's why evry 'un dyin.
>>232969
No, I'm actuarry innocent! Ignore the bodies on the streets, they're just decorations.
>>232985
>prosperous,
Ooh, what a silly mistake. I meant to say preposterous.
>>233020
Deadpool, you're back. Good to see you.
>>232974
>>232993
Maybe it's a slip of the tongue? Obviously the killer is a real COOL dude wouldn't you say? Admit it! Unless you'd rather defend yourself. Where WERE you at the time of the incidents?
Besides Laser beams don't exist! I think I'm fine!
>>233022
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, HIS POWER LEVEL IS TOO STRONG!!!!
>>233022
O-OH SHIT WE WERE WRONG THIS ENTIRE TIME!
>>232985
>>232992
These guys are still my number 1 choice for suspects
Should we just kill them?
>>233027
Somebody listened to me. Well good the murderer is dead!
>>233027
Blegh!
>>233020
Why couldn't this guy die?
>>233031
Goodbye!
>>233033
>>233023
HEY!
LISTEN!
You'll have to be the detective now, Battler. Help us catch the killer. Make sure to visit the Great Deku Tree.
>>233033
>>233033
Ey, d'tectiv is ded yo. Not Jimi cus' Jimi smart like dat.
>>233033
>>233036
S-SHIIIIT THE DETECTIVE IS DEAD. THE KILLER IS STILL ALIVE!
>>232992
IT COULD BE ONLY YOU YOU AND THAT SPIDER MAN ARE THE ONLY ONES LEFT!
>>233042
Well, that's very racist, aru. It's because I'm Chinese, right?
>>233046
It's a common fact that we Japanese hate the Chinese, but that isn't the only reason! All of the evidence points to you!
I hope that the MURDERER doesn't KILL anyone else or anything h-heh. Especially not ME.
PLEASE do your best to find this madman.
>>233055
NO MR.PEPE!
>>233053
Aiyaa, since when is it MY faurt?
In the meantime, does anyone want to hear a joke, aru?
>>233074
It better be a Spider-Man meme
Avatar Korra, reporting for duty.
>>233079
Here we go, aru:
Two guys walk into a bar. One is an alcoholic, the other's in the hospital!
Sadly, I don't have access to my past lives anymore, so I'll need information from you all to help catch the killer. Were there any clues found yet?
>>233082
It's totarry not me!
>>233083
I doubt it. You squinty eyed weak asians are always the most suspicious.
I've got my eyes on you.
>>233088
Kek
It still wasn't me.
>>233088
ACK!
>>233096
OHHH MYYYY, ARU~
>>233096
I'm starting to change suspects. It has to be you spidey. Only a meme of a man such as yourself can be the criminal.
>>233103
IT'S THE FEMINISTS! THEY'RE AFTER US ALL. STICK WITH ME, COMRADES. I'LL KEEP YOU SAFE.
>>233104
Those dirty feminists tried to steal my picture, but I got it back.
>>233111
...YOU.
>>233111
I should have known. Under that tight spandex laid a liar. A liar THAT IS FEMALE.
Spiderman? More like Spiderwoman!
>>233118
And where were you while this was happening, discount Harry Potter?
>>233106
I'll put my faith in you, my friend!
>>233111
SOMEBODY ARREST THIS MAN!
>>233124
Scouting the area. Only a fool goes in unprepared and without a gameplan.
Once I saw the woman was dead, I ran in to protect the good men still left. AND YET I FIND THAT ONE OF THEM IS STILL A WOMAN. Nefarious trickster!
>>233126
>>233131
Jimi trust glassman.
>>233131>3131Does that count as doubles?
>>233131
>Scouting the area while a murder's happening
I may be a paranoid dictator, but I am not a fool. It is obvious it is you.
>>233141
Now what meme should I reincarnate as?
>>233143
Bane?
>>233138Anyone? I need to know before posting.
>>233155
Welp. Out of character Anon v2c8aSVB is now dead. Before I go, I leave the message that the murderer can break the 4th wall.
>>233155
You're dead anyway.
>>233161
Say you damn chink, are we sure you're not the killer, everybody but me you, and that Jimmy has been killed by now. Unless Spidey killed himself!
>>233189
I keep telling you, it wasn't me! It was that fucking discount Harry Potter!
>>233192
Discount potter's dead, and I'll prove it! You Chinese hate the British! maybe you killed everybody to spread your communist ways!
i see a bloody man walking on the streets....people dont see him but i can see him clearly. I wonder why.
>>233229
AT LEAST PEOPLE KNOW WHO I AM!
When people see you, they ask if you're "one of those Chinese cartoons" because WE MADE YOU.
If it were't for us, you'd be dead.
>>233244
RIP MAO ZHEDONG
>>233244
Y-you were dodging the question... But now you're dead... I'm the only one left, along with Yotsuba and Jimmy! Damn... I can't even tell you how we've evolved from needing you chinks anymore.
Who is it, who is the murder! The clues have to be all around somewhere.
I'd fill this thread with bourbon if I could.
Seriously though, this board is kinda slow for quads
>>233270
can i have at least oolong tea? im still underage :c
>>233282
I'm almost surprised you're on here! But whatever, I don't mind.
>>233282
No booze for Yotsuba-chan
So let's just leave it at this. Mao Murdered everybody due to his comunist ways, then died of a heart attack due to how much of a fat fuck he was, right? Spidey was his accomplice, which is why he took the blame. When Mao realized that it would no longer work, he killed Spidey. Is that all an acceptable theory!?
>>233290
i don't understand
>>233290
Nah, there isn't too much of a motive for Mao Zedong to be the killer. 't Almost seems he was set up.
>>233294
Then who could have set Mao up? Which one of us would have a solid motive for bumping everybody off, Mr Everett?
You?
>>233301
Maybe it was you, sir?
>>233301
Welp, Jimi just keep 'ead down in bunka.
Ain't killin' Jimi if dem can't see Jimi.
>>233311
Holy shit!
oooh look what i found
DEATHS:
Finn The Human
Vampire Sunflower
Detective Carlos
Faggot Anonymous
Dave
Charlie
CC
Tipene Solomon
Detective Frank
Pepe the Frog
Avatar Korra
The Amazing Spider-Autist
Confuse Anonymous
Mao
Jimmy Corn
>>233320
Now listen here, boy. I've seen your type before. Red-head, stutters a lot, lied to get out of trouble... But I can assure you one thing.
Admit the truth now, and MAYBE we can let this slide.
>>233328
Hey you don't have any definitive proof! I'm a detective here. Like hell a detective can be the killer!
Maybe you're the one trying to pin this on me!
>>233327
You forgot Cooler and Dolfy.
*jiggle*
>>233331
Now, I never said it was definitve proof. However, I'm gonna keep a VERY close eye on you. Try not to fuck up while you're here, BEN.
>>233337
You raise a good point, I'm pretty sure you can squeeze the truth out of anybody. Try not to be too soft on anybody.
>>233346
Who the fuck is Ben?
>>233354
*boing* *boing*
[lactates internally]
>>233354
Young boy who looked like you. He gave some supplies to some bandits... I still remember Kenny's screams.
>>233364
*sproingy boingy in concern*
>>233368
I know, man. The apocalypse fucks you up after a while.
That's Kenny in the picture up there.
>>233373
Looks like a good man. I know how it feels to lose people. My entire family was all killed int he span of a day because of some big tits witch.
>>233384
*quiver*
>>233384
Oh no, he didn't die. His family did. His son and his wife, if I recall.
>>233392
Don't worry your tits are just perfectly fine. Ihihihihihi~
>>233396
*waggle*
>>233400
*jiggles no more*
>>233400
Not the titties!
>>233404
I hope, man. He should be fine by now. We're in a bad situation, but it should be a bit better by now.
>>233409
Y-yeah all of us are in a pretty situation we just have to survive and move on. For the titties.
A murder you say?
>>233419
Aren't you supposed to be deathly afraid of the murders going on, man? Try not to let your hallucinations get in the way.
>>233419
And who might you be, sir?
Perhaps it's not a person who killed these people.
Perhaps parasites are responsible.
So what do we do next guys? This blood trail is huuuuge.
>>233428
Parasites seem a bit too... Outlandish to be an actual threat.
Ebin
>>233444
You motherfucker.
>>233428
Maybe it's a posion that creats parasites!?
It seems to be a little too bloody for anything internal though. Maybe they just, I dunno, used a gun? Or some kind of trap to murder everybody?
>>233444
ARREST THIS MAN! Of course it had to be you you sick fuck. Why did you do it?
It seems there aren't too many people left to consider who the killer is. Maybe it was Yotsuba all along?
You seem to accuse everyone until they die. Maybe its you, Mr. Battler
>>233465
That's what I thought too, Pacha. But after seeing the guy and what he's been through, I can vouch for him and say it wasn't him.
>>233473
She didn't get her Oolong tea, so she killed everyone, obviously.
>>233473
To continue a perpetually unsolvable mystery!
>>233475
Though you have a point as well
Hm... This mystery is taking a long time to solve. Is the killer even here?
>>233483
The board is too slow for something like this. It will be a day untilquads happen
>>233488
Welp... im a ghost now. That sucked. Didnt even see him.
>>233489
Are you sure you just didn't see him as he kills you?
Maybe it was caused by something that was inside your body all along.
>>233493
Calm down, man. We'll figure this out and we'll do it faster than we found out what Ben did.
This is so fucking idiotic. I love it.
I am Captian Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise, We've picked up your distress signal and are here to help in any way we can.
>>233610
Oh shut up baldy.
>>233610
Thanks, man. It seems the others are gone.
>>233613
Well my rotund friend, it would seem I possess more hair than you do... making your aggression quite interesting.
>>233617
Don't mention it, it is my duty and obligation to assist all life in need.
>>233620
Nuh-uh.
So, we need to find out who this bastard is before he kills us. Anyone have ideas?
>>233624
What if we all kill each other? That way we take down the killer!
>>233621
"Computer, replicate hair directly onto my scalp."
Two can play at this game Simpson.
>>233626
Now's not the time for joking around. If he can strike at any moment, we might not be safe.
>>233628
Hmm... Wasn't there something that you always wanted but never got? It started with an F and rhymed with "Family."
>>233631
I can create millions of donuts and duff beer for free, every single day.
Would you be willing to kill for that power?
Like you killed your neighbour all those years ago?
>>233632
Oh please, that was some cheerleader at a racing event that missed the shot.
>>233633
Damn you... Ian McKellan...
>>233633
He's dead!
"Picard to Enterprise, Two to beam immediately to sick bay!"
>>233633
The one fucking time I have someone I can relate to...
So what now?
>>233636
Well now we could make room for higher quality television!
>>233636
Now we all learn the damn truth!
>>233641
...Sure, why not?
>>233642
Now, Mr. Picard, just what are you implying?
Piiikkaaaa pi pikachu
>>233649
Oh great, now we got rats.
>>233649
You know, it wouldn't be TOO unreasonable to assume that this guy was the killer. After all, electric shocks kill.
>>233657
Well aren't you jumping to conclusions pretty quickly. Aren't you an actual killer?
Piiiiiiii~~kaaa
>>233660
Shit man, you don't have to say it so bluntly...
Alright, looks like I'm the only one trustworthy.
>>233665
Yeah man, I totally believe you. Just leave the adults to the work, alright?
>>233668
Being awfully harsh, aren't you Lee? Maybe we could go drinking and get some... Shots.
>>233671
You better be-Lee-ve it.
Ka?
>>233673
Hey, what happened to Captain Kirk?
>>233675
Piii pika, pika pika pikachu chaaaaaa!
>>233676
****in' rats.
>>233675
Gone, probably. It's not like I'm Big Brother or anything, am I?
>>233677
Aaaaaand he's dead again. Jesus Christ, it's like it's the motel all over again...
>>233677
Oh great, now look what you've done.
>>233683
Pikkaaaaaa!
>>233689
And just what are you looking at me like that for? It's not my fault you shocked him.
>>233690
Pi pika pika pika pi pi pikachu
>>233692
Well, whatever it is you're saying, I guess you're not THAT half-bad.
>>233694
Chu~
>>233694
OH HE IS. YOU SHOULD HEAR WHAT HE SAYS ABOUT YOU.
>>233696
Oh, really? What does he say, Sir Mettaton?
>>233696
Computer? How the hell did you get involved in this?
Wait.. could this all be a holo-simulation gone rogue?
>>233699
OH DEAR. THE HUMANOID Jean Luc-Picard HAS PERISHED. F.
>>233696
Pi.
>>233699
Pi! Pika pika! Pi pika pi!
>>233702
DO NOT SPEAK THAT WAY TO THE U.T. UNIT 405.
This day just keeps getting weirder...
>>233704
Pika pika piiikaaaaaa
>>233707
I DO NOT HAVE A MOTHER, NOR ONE WITH BIOLOGICAL COMPONENTS FOR INTERCOURSE. ALTHOUGH I WAS MANUFACTURED BY 13 DIFFERENT SCIENTISTS.
>>233708
Pikahahahaha
>>233708
Is Pikachu seriously roasting you?
And I thought Ben was the lowest anyone could get...
>>233711
Chu!!!!!
>>233711
Comeback File 4015 opened.
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE THE LOWEST ANYONE CAN GET NOW. HA. HA.
W-Well, before I die, can one of you please pull the trigger? I don't want to come back as those... Things.
>>233720
I DO NOT HAVE HANDS TO PULL A TRIGGER ON A GUN.
>>233720
Chuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!
>>233724
T-Then at least get Pikachu to do it.
>>233726
HE SAID "With pleasure."
>>233727
Bang
>>233730
SO. WHAT NOW ELECTRIC MOUSE?
>>233736
Pi?
>>233761
SORRY, ELECTRIC MOUSE, I WAS REBOOTING.
>>233779
Nom
>>233830
ACCORDING TO DATA I HAVE RECEIVED, YOU ARE EATING THOSE SNACKS WRONG.
I BELIEVE IT IS TRADITION THAT WHEN A THREAD "DIES" TO SAY THE PHRASE:
BUMP
Well, what's going on here?
>>234296
PEOPLE DIED.
Do we have a suspect?
AND THE THREAD HAS NOW GONE QUIET.
I'm here to determine the cause of death
>>234339
I ASSUME IT'S BECAUSE HE ROLLED DUBS.
I come back and even my good friend Lee is dead. Does this murderer know no limits?
>>234359
PROBABLY NOT.
>>234359
SO WHAT NOW?
>>234359
BATTLER, HAVE YOU PERISHED BY THE HAND OF ANOTHER?
>>234385
No I'm still alive, I just got distracted thinking for a bit. We don't have a detective, we don't have any ideas on who the killer is either. It's almost as if the killer isn't human. But that can't be true can it? Stuff like that doesn't exist.
>>234399
LIE DETECTED. LIE DETECTED YOU ARE, IN FACT, DECEASED.
>>234399
NEED MANUAL CONFIRMATION: ARE YOU DECEASED?
>>234399
Gaaaaaaah!
>>234442
ARE YOU ALIVE?
All these posts seem very suspicious
>>234339
DOCTOR, IS Battler ALIVE?
All the victims have severe damage to the respiratory system. So I think that the murderer is using some kind of poisonous gas. I will hace more información later. If I don't die
>>234453
WHAT ABOUT LEE? WE SHOT HIM. ARE YOU LYING DOCTOR?
>>234449
unfortunately, he died
I have heard your prayers my children, and I have arrived to put an end to these dastardly crimes.
>>234455
Error. File çorræ▐£
>>234458
Jesus, you have to be the detective now! And visit the Great Deku Tree!
>>234455
He was more resistant than the others, but would have a slow and painful death
Somethin dosent smell right around here... Wolverine checking in.
>>234466
Piiiiii!
>>234463
I shall visit you and your tree, my small fairy friend.
>>234466
Even wolverine is dead, we need to catch this bastard
Hodor.
>>234473
I agree doctor. Even my holy magic can't lead me to the truth!
>>234483
Hodor?
>>234483
That only can mean something, we are aginst demonic forces
>>234473
>>234483
Fools! The Wolverine can never be destroyed!
>>234486
Could it be the work of one of Satan's men!?
>>234498
Hodor..?
>>234504
Satan must be the perpetrator of all of these murders, my good Hodor, my son.
Nom
>>234518
Hodor.
>>234523
Pi pikaaaa
>>234530
Are you saying you will defend us from this great evil, small electric mouse, invented by game freak and Nintendo?
>>234515
In that case I can't do much more
>>234530
Hodor?
Anyone have the full dead list?
>>234536
Pi~<3
YUO SEE IVAN
WHEN YOU PARTICIPATE IN AUTISM THREAD YUO ALSO GET THE AUTISM SO IT IS OK
>>234572
Hodor?
Has the murderer been found yet?
>>234641
No. You can join if you want.
Hello everyone I have familiarized myself with the case and I think I may have a solution. We already know the murderer is one of us and is harnessing the power of repeating digits to kill their victims. Now if we can somehow predict these numbers before the killer can use them we can catch him in the act.
I have a list of the deceased
Finn The Human
Vampire Sunflower
Detective Carlos
Faggot Anonymous
Dave
Charlie
CC
Tipene Solomon
Detective Frank
Pepe the Frog
Avatar Korra
The Amazing Spider-Autist
Confuse Anonymous
Mao
Jimmy Corn
Anime Titties
Pacha
Homer Simpson
Detective Peter Griffin
Lee Everett
Officer Bob
Battler
Universal Translator
Poor bastards
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
oh look a body
Pi... pika.. ka... chu pika
>>234572
sup syrs
so how's everyone?
>>234464
Dr. Makoto, I'm CIA.You don't get to bring friends...
>>234988
HAHAHAHA SILLY CAPITALIST PIG
>>235010
>SILLY CAPITALIST PIG
...4U...
man this is some real autism.
might as well hang around, isn't contagious.
>>235025
Yeah, I have a weird fondness for this thread, it gives an excuse for silly memeing and shitposting, without ruining the quality of /qst/ as a board.
Now brothers, let us identify this murderer!
>>235064
Pika pika pika~
Hey my friends today is a sad day I've heard there was a murder
>>235090
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>235079
>Pika pika pika
Are those fighting words my "friend"
aLso im too sT0NED 4 Th1S Sh1T and it might of been me I forgot if im the murderer
>>235111
I told you I was a suspect
>>234862
You forgot Cooler and Dolfy Mr. Spade
>>235111
I wondered who would become a suspect first...
Piiika
>>235197
wow dude
>ifunny
k
I, Thanos of Titan, deny I had any part in this crime.
I am a personal consort of Death herself, so you can trust what I say.
>>235234
To be fair, he's got to find the endless pikachu pictures somewhere...
Tem stop murder, be her0!
>>235111
YOU! SMALL IRRITATING CREATURE!
Where were you at 06/06/16(Mon)21:54:43 when Finn the human boy was killed?
>>235111
Hoi! Suspect man is here!
>>235247
>>235262
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>235262
Tem had hasted, name is wasted
>>235274
H0i!
>>235279
Pika!
>>235245
(Gestures positively)
>>235279
When your post ends in dubs, you have my permission to die...
Become one with Mother Russia, дa?
Oba Yo! You're having a /qst/ murder party and need help finding the killer? I'll help you, but don't expect me to kill him or her.
If I had to hazard a guess as to the identity of the killer, which as I must stress, I am doing out of interest, rather than any idea that their actions are wrong, I would point to the random, incoherent way the subjects have been chosen. There is almost nothing linking the subjects in any way.
Because of this, I belive these to be the actions of a truly mentally unstable person, who is killing out of base desire or impulse. I accuse
>>235111
The drug-addled imp
>>233671
The sadistic fat man
and
>>235279
The cat-thing, whose pretense of innocence I do not buy at all.
Now, what the bloody hell is going on 'ere? A killer? And for once it's not Russia? That's bullshit, but I believe it.
>>235328
>Temmie see more with shaking eyes than careful man
And do you think this should put you beyond suspicion?
>>235328
Now now, little one, he wouldn't be long anyway since he's a country.
We should all be afraid considering the fact he TOOK DOWN FUCKING RUSSIA.
>>235334
Careful purple man should be more careful. Suspect person nearly came true
>>235344
s0ccer team man! Tem liked three lions...
>>235344
>We should all be afraid considering the fact he TOOK DOWN FUCKING RUSSIA.
Agreed. Such an act would be difficult to that cat-thing to commit, unless it had outside help. I know of one creature that could have carried out such an act, and would have willingly: The Insectoid creature known as Annihilus
DON'T WORRY EVERYONE, THE HERO IS HERE!
The problem here seems to be that there is a murderer on the loose, so naturally we should place a ban on killing! I'm genius!
>>235406
>so naturally we should place a ban on killing!
I reject this motion out of hand.
>>235368
>Such an act would be difficult to that cat-thing to commit, unless it had outside help.
fhsdhjfdsfjsddshjfsd
>>235378
OMG!! humans TOO CUTE
>>235406
Tem cooleg say YES! Bad!
>>235412
It's either that, or we create a huge empire to destroy the commies!
Sorry everyone I had just stepped outside for a smoke. I see a lot of new faces in here that can help solve our murder problem, unfortunately this just makes our killer easier to blend into the crowd. Just keep your eyes peeled for anything suspicious.
>>235420
Don't worry, detective! You have the whole United States of America to help you solve it!
>>235420
Will do.
it was me
>>235445
Wow, buddy, it's really bold of you to admit it! Too bad it wasn't you, though...
I AM ANNIHILUS! I AM HERE TO ADDRESS THE CLAIMS OF THE TITAN THANOS THAT I MURDERED SEVERAL PEOPLE IN THIS THREAD! AND I MUST SAY
It very well could be true. I don't recall. I kill a lot of people, and they all kind of blur together at some point. Although, I don't remember an attack on Russia.
>>235452
Aw, and here I was hoping the commies were killed...
>>235433
Damn we missed him. Did anyone see our man
>>235456
I AM NOT A COMMIE!!
>>235458
I your lord and savior, haven't caught the murderer yet. I was too busy attending to tuesday evening prayers to keep a look out.
>>235467
But that's EXACTLY WHAT A COMMIE WOULD SAY!
>>235469
ANOTHER HUMAN, TOO CUTE
>>235476
cute hooman lef-right! But ur could be them.
>>235458
I did not, but I find it highly suspicious that the positive-matter being Thanos was killed so soon after accusing the positive-matter being "Temmie"
>>235349
>>235476
OF MANY GREETINGS CAPITALISM
DO YUO WISH TO HAVE STALIN-APPROVED GULAG VACATION? IS VERY NICE
SIBERIAN IS VERY NICE THIS TIME OF YEAR
>>235492
Oh, great. Ivan's still here. Aren't you still supposed to be running from your sister, or are you too busy squatting over Lenin's corpse?
>>235420
Do you feel in charge?
>>235492
I LIKE VACATIONS!!
What is it like in this "Siberian" you speak of?
>>235501
THAT IS NOT BEINGS VERY NICE, COMRADE
>>235506
>>235508
VERY GOOD, IS ONLY 50 RUBLES OR POLITICAL DISSENT TO GET ONE-WAY TRIP TO GULAG
WE HAVE MANY SQUATTING LESSONS FOR WESTERN TYRANTS SO THAT THEY MAY BECOME TRUE SLAV
>>235512
Ya know, I don't have enough time to be wasting energy talking to you, so let's agree to disagree and search for the murderer, aye?
>>235512
LOUD MAN, Tem wanted vacay first!!!!!!! Cooleg tiring temm
>>235518
Human has gun, run!!!!
>>235524
H-Hey, it's not my fault we don't have gun laws like you do!
Now just keep still...
>>235531
DO NOT SHOOT GUESTS, AMERICA
IS VERY RUDE
DID YOUR MAMA NOT TEACH YOU MANNERS?
CYKA BLYAT...
>>235531
Tem flee, spooky gunperson danger!! THROW TEMFLAKES(Flee)OK, I'm calling it for myself now, since the image limit has been reached. it's been fun.
Hey Listen!
W-Well, who IS the murderer then?
>>235551
OH NO
YOU OF SHUTTINGS UP NOW FAIRY
Hi.
HEY LISTEN!
ITS THE RUSKIE!
>>235555
IT WAS YOU, YOU FUCKING BASTARD. YOU KILLED RUSSIA AND ENGLAND. I'M GONNA ENJOY SHOOTING YOU AND THROWING YOUR BODY TO THE GODDAMNED SHARKS, MARK MY FUCKING WORDS.
>>235555
THATS OUR MAN
>>235555
TEM NEW IT AL ALONG!!!!!!
Ur weird speaking was tems cloo.
>>235577everyone knows deaths doesn't count after image limit :^)
>>235568
IVAN, YOU HAVE BEEN TRIED FOR THE DEATHS OF:
Finn The Human
Vampire Sunflower
Detective Carlos
Faggot Anonymous
Dave
Charlie
CC
Tipene Solomon
Detective Frank
Pepe the Frog
Avatar Korra
The Amazing Spider-Autist
Confuse Anonymous
Mao
Jimmy Corn
Anime Titties
Pacha
Homer Simpson
Detective Peter Griffin
Lee Everett
Officer Bob
Battler
Universal Translator
Russia
England
ANY LAST WORDS, YOU LITTLE SHIT?
>>235568
COME WITH ME IVAN
WE MUST ESCAPE THEM
>>235583
STALIN DID NOTHING WRONG
Aмepикa дepьмo
пoшeл нa хyй aмepикy
>>235555
Very very cheeki breeki.
>>235594
OF FUCKING COURSE IT'S COMMIE-SPEAK.
GOODBYE, YOU FUCKING CHEEKI BREEKI. SAY HI TO MAO FOR ME.
>>235555
Now that the murderer is found were going to start the trial.
Now who wants to bring the list of the men and women (or animals/aliens) whom killed by this accused murderer?
>>235602
xaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxa
>>235609
COME WITH ME IVAN
>>235606
HE MURDERED TWO FUCKING COUNTRIES, JUDGE.
Finn The Human
Vampire Sunflower
Detective Carlos
Faggot Anonymous
Dave
Charlie
CC
Tipene Solomon
Detective Frank
Pepe the Frog
Avatar Korra
The Amazing Spider-Autist
Confuse Anonymous
Mao
Jimmy Corn
Anime Titties
Pacha
Homer Simpson
Detective Peter Griffin
Lee Everett
Officer Bob
Battler
Universal Translator
Russia
England
>>235616
IT IS OK, COMRADE
I WILL PAY FOR MY CRIMES
EVEN IF THEY WERE JUST
>>235583
In the end Cooler and Dolfy didnt appear on the death list
Probably missing or their body didnt found,,,sneaky bastard
my friends we must relax.
we can not blame our friend here there must be someone else who is the murder
>>235655
OH REALLY? WOW. I GUESS WE SHOULD STOP TRIALLING THE SUSPECTS AND LOOK FOR MORE CLUES DESPITE THIS GUY SUPPOSEDLY KILLING TWO FUCKING COUNTRIES!
... Sorry. Just a bit on edge.
>>235655 he said, dying.
Ivan must be stopped!
>>235655
xaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxxaxaxaxaxaxxaxaxaxaxxaxaxxa
IS OK, FRIEND
IS ME
I WAS EXPOSED BY REPEATING NUMBERS
>>235621
AH, YES, someone has been keeping track of the deaths!
Not a single step closer?
Man, what the fuck? This killer is crazy, dude! We better catch this dude fast, or we'll all be killed by the post limit!
Also, excuse me while I find my dectective's badge.
I'm back from the lab. Anything new?
>>235856
I'm also back from the lab, and I'm also a different Frank then before.
Doesn't appear to be anything new, which is fuckin' gay.
Is anyone the defendants attorney?
Well we're back to square one and the inevitable post limit isn't helping speed things up
Y-You're not telling there's ANOTHER killer, right?
Did the murderer already kill everyone? This is pretty creepy stuff, dude.
Well, I guess this case goes unsolved. Maybe OP will give us a new one today. Great thread, guys.
I've got an idea to make this quest better!
Instead of having Quads be the murderer, we'll have trips (or more) become a suspect, and then if a suspect rolls trips (or more) again, he's confirmed as the killer. I mean, after all, the Trips rolls didn't really affect anything in this game, this will at least add a little something to make it interesting. I mean, what's more common, two trips or a single quads?
>>236392
Two trips by the same guy in one thread is actually less likely.
Quads = 1/1000 or 0.001 probability.
Trips = 1/100 or 0.01 probability.
If somebody posts two times, they have a 2/1000 (0.002) probability of rolling quads:
>0.001 x 2 = 0.002
They only have a 1/10000 (0.0001) probability of both rolls landing trips.
>(0.01 x 1) x (0.01 x 1) = 0.0001
Obviously this is a vast oversimplification: Post number is not completely random, and people won't only post twice, but the idea stands. The same guy getting trips twice in a thread is really unlikely.
I like the idea for making the "suspect" status actually mean/do something though, just need to find a better way to implement it.
>quest
Don't kid yourselves. This is a /b/-tier shit game. Nothing else.
>>236495
I don't want to go through 500 dick pics just to play this game, though.
>>236495
Yeah, it is, but it contains the shitposting, so no complaints.
(Shame i was asleep when the killler was found. But the thread was fun even if it was pure nonsense)
>>236473
I was Detective Carlos, then Detective Deadpool.
This thread went smoothly. I might make another one here, or move it to /tg/
>>236495
Actually, this game started on /s4s/ a while ago. We were able to use names and stuff there. Say whatever you want though.
>>236508
true
>>236529
also true
>>235582
not true
Rolled 10 (1d20)
>>236465
> better way to implement it
Dice function on this board, bruh.
>>238011
Please keep it on here, it'd be nice to have a quest that doesn't have, like, 80,000 parts of a story to read before you can join in. It will also add a bit of variety to the games, so it's not just Risk.
>>239580
Worst case start it yourself. op proved he wasnt even needed for this game to continue