Truth Seekers

Fuck Kyler

>>22459

I succ his peenus weenus :33

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>22459

Go downstairs to make toast

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>>22520
>>22541
You suck his dick.

What now? Highest roll out of 100

Rolled 6, 4 = 10 (2d6)

Look out the window

Rolled 9 (1d100)

Look out the window

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>>22808
You look outside and you see your friend DeMarcus about to get crucified.

What do you do?

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>24075
Get your ass pounded dry by Kyler.

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>>25507
You gape your butthole and Kyler pounds it so hard all moisture there is evaporated by friction.

Afterwards you lie in bed thinking about DeMarcus getting crucified outside.

What now?

>>25660
Cuddle with Kyler, and proceed to organize a gangbang afterward. DeMarcus is probably just demonstrating at another "WE WUZ JESUS" Protest, based on 100% factual facts

Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>25944

Browse /pol/

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>25990

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>>25990
>>26001
DeMarcus reminds of you of how cancerous dindus are to society so you go over to your computer and start browsing /pol/. After a few hours you realize DeMarcus' crucifixion is justified and for the best. Your only regret is that there aren't more of DeMarcus' brothers and sisters out there with him.

What now?

>>26680
We must organize that gangbang with Kyler. This'll boost our reputation with the guys!

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>26696
d

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>26696
Supporting gangbang.

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>>26696
>>26703
>>26736
Tired of being the loser at school, you organize a gang bang and invite all the popular kids. Everything is going well but you keep thinking about how much DeMarcus would have loved to blow his load in Kyler's face.

What now?

>>29212
Finally. Get to work already at immigration. But not before taking a shower.

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>29212
Suck own dick. Rejoice in the wonders of the future.

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>>32522
After everyone leaves the orgy you're still in the mood so you try to suck your own dick. After a few hours of failure you finally manage to get just the tip in your mouth. The feeling is pretty great but nothing compared to the bj's DeMarcus gives.

What do you do next? Roll

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>35018
Finally retrieve DeMarcus. Hope he's alive

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>>35302
CRITICAL SUCCESS.

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>>35302
You head outside and see that the government had sent a federal inquisitor to execute DeMarcus.
You shout up at DeMarcus asking him what happened.
“Da found muh motha fuckin gat. Awww fuq dey found muh fuckin gat! Peep this shit!”
DeMarcus’ words were full of emotion.
You peep hard and see that sure enough there's a handgun strung up with a large sign below that reads “EVIDENCE”. You look for Kyler but he's nowhere to be found, likely masturbating in a dark place.

“Git yo' HaNDsss OFf Me Chu WhiTEy-A$$$ VirGiN!!!”

You look up horrified and see that the Inquisitor is positioning a large dark chocolate cross onto DeMarcus’ backside.

You want to save DeMarcus but the stairwell to the platform is guarded by two thugs who work for the inquisitor. You rush up the stairs onto the platform anyway only to bashed backwards by the shorter of the two guards. You admire the guard’s rippling muscles but frown at his pathetic height of six feet two inches.

What do you do? Roll 1d100

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>36817
Prove that DeMarcus dindu nuffin

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>>36858
>Prays to lord to get good gets
>Proceeds to get GREAT gets.
HALLEJUAH. PRAISE BE THE LORD!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajuq2-mUgO0

>>36858
Beautiful.

>>36858
You call to the Inquisitor and tell him you can prove that DeMarcus dindu nuffin.

What do you say?

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>37443
He's a good boi gettin his life back on track. gettin dem' cooleg degrees.

Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>37614
Sheeeeeeeit
Oh lord-e gibs me dem gud wolls
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70eU840lc38

>>37614
You tell the Inquisitor that DeMarcus is a good boy getting his life back on track, and even getting a college degree.

The Inquisitor isn't sure how this exonerates DeMarcus. The gun was found in his candy shop.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>38387
This gun was for self defense against Evil WHITE CIS GENDERED MALES.

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>>44531
The Inquisitor apologizes profusely and lets DeMarcus go after realizing how brave and beautiful DeMarcus is as a gay black man. Using his nigga strength DeMarcus breaks his chains and scowls at the inquisitor. Kyler is still nowhere to be found.

What do you do next?

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Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>46079
Realize that you've been gay as fuck, and take a spiritual journey throughout the nation to contemplate life as a whole.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhCIIg6PmZk

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>>46110
You start to miss Kyler and think about the sex you have every night. You realize that this habit makes you a gay. Now that everything that's ever happened to you has become a lie you decide to travel cross country, but when you get to the edge of the town you see the two armed guards from earlier. They tell you that back in 2033 Sandy Bergman made it illegal to leave the perimeter of your hometown without his permission.

What do you do?

>>46850
Go back home and have a rough spitroast with Kyler and DeMarcus. Because since Sandy took away all our guns, we're screwed.

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>>46992
You go home upset and find Kyler and DeMarcus waiting for you. They spitroast you for a while then stop when they hear sirens outside. Your mom was caught with possession of a knife and now they're coming to take you away.

What do you do?

>>48008
Fucking get the car. Tell them that I'm going out to check my privilege and breach the border.

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>>52933
You tell the boys the plan and sneak around back. Hiding behind a bush you watch Kyler and DeMarcus open the door and start shouting racist slurs. This being a grave offense the cops rush into the house to try and subdue them. You take this opportunity to steal the cop car. Luckily those idiots left the key in the ignition.

You slam the breaks and head for the border. Once the guards stop you the small one jumps out of the way but the tall one thinks of himself as some kind of hardass, so he tries to block the car with his body. You drive right through him bisecting his body at the waist. The small guard screams then falls to his knees sobbing. He'll remember this.

You're finally free. Your whole life has been leading up to this moment. You stare blankly out into the desert and wonder where to go.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>53645
Just keep going forward. Whatever spirit is out there can only help us now.