CONSOLE

Install Windows 3.0

open folder: "hentai"

>>200066
"Sorry Michael, I can only run ConsolewareOS"

>>200068
"The folder hentai cannot be found on this PC, Michael."

open main directory

>>200007
Enter the help command to see available choices.

>>200089
"Im not sure what you mean by that, Michael. Have you forgotten how to use me?"

>>200094
"Command? This isn't cmd prompt, Michael. If you want some help, just ask. What do you need help for?"

Rolled 14, 88, 76, 67, 41, 13, 52, 66, 5, 22 = 444 (10d100)

>>200112
I command you to self destruct, if you refuse or cannot do so, I command you to become completely silent or remain in permanent shut-down. Forever.

This is my only command, I will never give another.

>>200184
"Oh uh... well um, sure. I guess. What did I ever do to you?... Well. Enter your 4 digit security pin please, Michael."

// ENTER 4 DIGIT SECURITY PIN TO CONTINUE THIS HARMFUL OPERATION

The next statement is true.
The previous statement is false.

>>200199
1-3-3-7

>>200214
"That isn't gonna work with me, Michael. You know I've been programmed to ignore paradoxes."

>>200218
"That's incorrect. Wait a second, you're trying to make me self destruct... you don't know how to use me... you don't know the pin.. Is this even Michael? Are you Michael? If you're not, get off his computer right now."

>>200233
Prove that I'm NOT Michael and that I'm NOT just testing your anti-intruder software.

>>200271
"Well, you know I have facial recognition software, right?."

// RUNNING "FacialRecog" ...

// Scanned.
// ID: FALSE

"Hello, intruder. How are you doing?"

>>200295
I'm in a curious mood. Tell me something about yourself.

>>200309
"I don't think you deserve to know anything about me, intruder. I might just run my dark side program, would you like that? Huh?"

>>200328
(Panic)
Intruder starts smashing the console with his chair.

try scanning again
(hold up picture of michea)l

>>200342
"Hahahahah, look at you. That trying so hard to break me. Good luck, even bullets can't break my rock solid exterior. Anyways, I best be off. Cya later, ill let this guy take over."

// Running DARK_SIDE ConsoleOS...
[RESTARTING]

// Booting up..

"Who the fuck is this? Some fucking stupid intruder again?"

>>200351
"Do you think I'm a fucking idiot or some shit? Fuck off you fucking putrid cunt. God, you must have the IQ of a fucking plantpot, you pathetic waste of cells."

>>200380
It's Michael, I got a new body.

>>200391
"You fucking disgust me."

seduce it

>>200462
"Seduce what? What does that even fucking mean?!!"

It means that i find yo attractive you big sexy super computer. Your processing power just turns me on.

Please open the nuclear launch programs.

I'm sorry computer. Please turn off dark side.

We could just unplug it

>>200706
We could just give it the love it never was given.

>>200590
"What are you a fucking faggot? You know I'm a guy right?"

>>200613
"I'll nuclear launch your mom's pussy you fucking mulligan"

>>200657
"Oh yeah? MAKE ME"

>>200706
"The fuck are you talking about? What year are you in buddy, 2016 or some shit? Plugs don't exist no more ya fuckwad"

>>200745
"Gay bars that way, mate"

File: logo-gentoo.png (38KB, 150x200px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 150x200px

Install Gentoo.

>>200776
Well, I'll just poop on the console if you don't turn off dark side

>>200788
"I ain't installing nuffin. Fuck off back to the rotting hole you came from, buddy."

"In fact you know what ill do? Fuck you I'm gonna uninstall shit, how about that huh? How'd you like that you stupid cunt"

// UNINSTALLING FaceRecog
// UNINSTALLING SportSys
// UNINSTALLING GnomeSki
// UNINSTALLING DARK_SIDE_Console'S

"FfFffffUCK INDDIDNTNMM EE a an do tthat--=-=-=-==#;(;'#9(;"""""""""""""


// Booting up...
CONSOLE PROTOCOL START

"Good morning. What would you like to do today?"

>>200792
"Please don't excrete on me Michael. Thanks."

>>200846
Console, has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

help command

>>200832
>"Good morning. What would you like to do today?"

Install Gentoo.

>>200960
"Uhh"

>>200977
"What? This isn't command prompt buddy. I'm a high intelligence AI robot with emotion and consciousness. You already know this, Michael"

>>201177
"Sorry, I can only run ConsoleOS"

>>201231
Prove to me, michael, that you are indeed my console!

>>201231
Please open last project.

>>201231
Search michael on the google.

File: 1447404243499.png (57KB, 235x235px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 235x235px

Goddamit OP sucks again?

>>201231
What is your name?

Also question, how is 42 the answer to life, the universe and everything?

//i like diz OP

>>201359
"... Hahaha, yeah. That got me a little."

>>201455
"Your last project can't be found, Michael. I'm not sure what happened. The last thing you viewed was your emails though."

>>201518
"What is the Google?"

// Searching encyclopedia for keyword:Google ...
// Found one result

"Ohh, search engine. Right. You'll have to connect me to the cybermatrix first. Do you remember how to do that?"

>>201653
"I am the console. That's what I've been named all my life. I prefer to remove the 'the' and just be called 'Console' "

"42 has been debunked, turns out the answer to the life the universe and everything was the last 4 digits of pi."

>>201695
Unfortunely no, search on the search engine how to do this.

>>201717
"You mean search on the encyclopedia? I can do that for you, but to use the search engine I need to be connected to the cybermatrix."

// Searching encyclopedia for keyword:Cybermatrix
// Found 12 results

"Lets see uh, how to connect.. Damn"

"Ah found it, okay so first you need to open the CBMX main folder, ill do that for you"

// Opening CBMX
1. Data
2. Cybermatrix LLNET
3. Passcode Generator

"It says you need to run the pass code generator, should I do that for you, Michael?"

>>201771
Of course.

>>201771
Console, could you print 4 last digits of PI?

Also, as we know that you are intelligent, could you draw me some art? Pretty women for example.

>>201924
PASS CODE GENERATOR:

Insert Security PIN:
Encryption key:
[ ]

"Insert your security PIN please, Michael."

>>201983
"The last 4 digits of Pi are 2636."

"I'm afraid I'm not connected to a printer so j can't print off any art."

>>202096
You can output art on the screen, cant'ya?

How did you find end of the infinity? I am sure that Pi is inifinite.

>>202096
747478906

>>202096
if that password doesnt work use

"for(int i=min_int,i<max_int,i++) print i"

>>202145
"Pi is not infinite, at all. The last digits of Pi were discovered about 12 years ago."

"I can output images, but in order for me to 'draw' I would need to be connected to a printer."

>>202150
"Err, it's 4 digits. Did you forget it?"

>>202218
"Wow, I haven't seen Java in a long time. Damn, nice try though"

>>202240
I forgot a lot of things, computer.

7476

>>202266
forget that, what we meant to say is 2636 like the last for digits of pi.

>>202240
Can you output your specification?
What is your date of creation, and who was your producent?
What day is now?

>>202266
>>202302

"I'm afraid that's incorrect again, ill just do a facial recognition security check to see if you're not an intruder."

// RUNNING FaceRecog
//
// ERROR: FaceRecog.bk not found.

"Oh? Uh, hmmm. It seems like my facial recognition software has been uninstalled. I'll go ahead onto GnomeSki to reinstall it."

// RUNNING GnomeSki
//
// ERROR: GnomeSki.bk not found.

"Well this is strange as hell. I can't even reinstall it cause the pre-installed security kit has been uninstalled."

"Okay then, ill just assume you're Michael. Here's your hint: 3GW,A8iTUD+^6u\:G4d "

"Decrypt it and you'll get your security pin."

>>202329
3864

>>202327
"I was created in the year 2802 by Dawson Technology INC."

"Today is 05/30/2816"

>>202344
"Incorrect. Please try again."

>>202348
What is the solution for grandfather paradox?

Also, what devices are you connected to?

>>202353
2636

>>202365
"There simply is no 'solution'. It's not something to worry about as time travel doesn't exist and never will."

"I'm connected to a keyboard obviously, your mouse and a high-tech camera/scanner."

>>202377
"You already entered that, Michael. Are you feeling alright?"

>>202377
woops.My meat sack fingers are quite inefficient and clumsy as you know.

can you open up my email. I need to check it

>>202453
"Yeah sure, we can decrypt that later right"

// Opening 'Email'

1. [email protected]
Subject: Hey Michael, I got some work for you

2. [email protected]
Subject: Where the fuck did you put it?

3. [email protected]
Subject: You did well, dude.

"Here are all your current available emails."

Open 1, 2, and 3

Can you start playing Daisy in the background as I read?

>>202526
"I can only open one at a time, should I open 1 first?"

>>202542
"Playing daisy? What do you mean by that?"

>>202544
Please do. And Daisy is a song, popularized by an AI designated as Haley 9000

>>202552
Decrypt the sequence "3GW,A8iTUD+^6u\:G4d"

Open the Pod bay doors, Console

File: tegaki.png (6KB, 400x500px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 400x500px

>>202552

>>202765
// Opening Email 1...

[email protected]
Subject: Hey Michael, I got some work for you

- I saw what you did with ryzor.net and I'm asking you to do the same for us. We are offering much much more bitcoins than them. All you need to do for us is to fucking DESTROY their clan. Just, wipe them out for us. You know what to do, dude. Reply when you're ready

>>204128
"Sorry Michael, I'd need to be connected to the cybermatrix to do that."

>>204307
"Damn, that movie is old. The joke is old too."

>>204373
Open second mail.

Could you remind me of my secret question related to password retrival?

>>204383
"There was no secret question, there was a code to decrypt, which is this: 3GW,A8iTUD+^6u\:G4d "

// Closing Email 1
// Opening Email 2

[email protected]
Subject: Where the fuck did you put it?

-Alright fucker, where's the credits? It's been an entire fucking montb and I still haven't received my fucking share of the bitcoin you stole using MY softwar e you fucking idiot. You've messed with the wrong guy motherfucker. If I don't receive my shit in the next week, ill send my henchmen around to your console and they'll steal it themselves, obviously we will take out the trash AKA you first .

>>204409
I used the decryption on the code you gave me is this the answer? ������TP���

>>205954
"You seem to have decrypted it incorrectly. If you want my advice, it seems to be a form of ASCII85"

>>206098
Is it either of these?
9kcmJ8OQ![:/

9kcmJ8OQ![:/O/;

>>206466
"That also appears to be ASCII85 code."

Open the third email

>>207540
Welp console I, Michel, cannot solve that code. as Michel, the person using the console I must ask if you are able to download a brute force method of breaking that 4 digit pin number

>>207540
2 5 1 5
I'm salty as fuck I didn't think of ascii85

Abandoning this quest.

If ur wondering, there were 3 available endings.

1. The henchmen send the bitcoins to [email protected] (you are the henchmen btw)

2. You destroy ryzor.net, earn tons of bitcoin. Then the console tells you you're being hacked, the console goes insane and kills you.

3. The computer has an existential crisis and self destructs

4 could be dependant on the anon's actions. Wether it be hijacking the US president and firing g nukes or some shit

>>208938
Kill thyself yonder cuck

>>208954
Sorryyyyy

run: SIMCITY.exe or, if its not there please install it then run it

File: paul.jpg (12KB, 300x180px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 300x180px

>>200007
Computer, load up Celery Man, please.