Assbaby Quest.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>1864
Put on a mask and a swimsuit then go beat up criminals with your tard strenght.

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24KB, 2000x1333px

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>1864
Start an Esperanto club!

>>1877
this

>>1877

You quickly get into your bathing trunks, which highlight your paunch, and look around for a mask, quickly realizing you don't possess any. The best you have is a sleeping aid, so you laboriously cut open some eye holes in it, and wrap it around your head. Since it doesn't cover your cheeks, chin, mouth, or forehead though, it does little to hide your identity.

Come to think of it, you can't remember the last time you heard of a violent crime being committed in your middle-class community. Things are pretty peaceful out in the suburbs.

>>1879

I'm afraid you don't know esperanto. You could, if you wish to confirm it, try to learn the language.

>>1906
Ask around for where the poor people live at.

>>1864
Become a moderator for 4chan and continue being retarded by making a board that literally no one wanted.

>>1919

You head downstairs to the kitchen, where your mother is readying her lunch before popping off to work.

>Mommy, where do the poor people live at?

You ask her. She looks up, blinks at you twice, before turning her attention back to her bag, and then says, in that tired singsong voice she sometimes takes with you

>Dearest, I know they taught you to be inclusive in school, but really, there's no need to head across town if you want to swim. We have a perfectly good pool only three blocks away. If you want to go swimming, remember to pack your sunscreen and a towel, but Mommy has to go now.


She then takes off, without another word.

>>1922

I'm afraid that breaking the fourth wall isn't in your superpower set.

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>1980
>superpower set.
make it in our superpower set with this nat 100

>>2002

With a 54, I'm afraid all that you get is that your sweat is now slightly lactic, and covers your body with a white film that smells funny when you exercise.

Rolled 1, 5 = 6 (2d100)

>>2031
What do I get if I get both a 100 and a 1?

>>2037
It begins.

>>1980
Shit, you actually need a suggestion don't you? Well, go swimming, think about ways to get revenge on the poor while you swim.

>>2037
>>2056

Nothing, you flubbed your roll, you've got your superpower, you now sweat milk.

>>2091

You head on over to the pool, forgetting your towel and your sunscreen. It's a short walk, but even in the morning, the summer sun is enough to make you sweat a bit, and the filmy cover you acquire starts to smell by the time you get to the pool's gates. Your family has season passes for all of you, so the gate guy just waves you in, but when you get to the largest pool you usually swim in, the lifeguard waves you over.

>Son, you've got some weird smell about you. And that stuff on your skin. Why don't you go hit the showers before you get into the pool with everyone else?

>What do you do?

>>2115
Listen to the lifeguard, because hot milk smells nasty.

>>2124

You head on over to the showers, avoid eye contact with two other bathers there, and start to wash yourself. You clean all of the milky crap off of your chest and shoulders, but you realize you forgot to take off your eye mask, and it's now all soggy and disgusting. You also realize you don't have a towel to dry off with, and emerge from the shower stall dripping on the floor.

>What do you do?

>>2154
Shake like a dog to try to get dry, then roll around on the nearest carpet if I'm still wet.

Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>6724
Forgot my roll