Vampire Hunter adventure thing, part 21

>>1777675
oh shit here we go

>>1777675
Isn't it around 1:24 AM from your time zone, how are you managing to host it at this hour?

>>1777686
Yes, indeed we are

>>1777690
Stubborness

>>1777675
So what the difference between the two hallways, aside from one being slippery?

>>1777690
Never underestimate the power of caffeine, Horace.

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>>1777692
Whoops, CAPTCHA ate my pic

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>>1777693
Well it's simple.

One's on the left and one's on the right/

>>1777703
Can we see what lays within said corridors, or are they the same bland hallways as the previous bland hallways?

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>>1777705
"Well now that's just mean"

>>1777692
Just make sure you don't burn yourself out, QM.

>>1777697
>>1777675
This is a statement that's unrelated to our current situation. I'm not sure if you want or like doing filler updates or not when you're juggling with a serious update. If you don't, you don't have to do them and could go for a simple notice you're busy with a serious update whenever you're juggling between the two.

>>1777711
I'm sorry, but it's true. At least some hallways have a window or a painting to spice things up. You just look like another generic hallway generated from a shit dungeon generator...

Am I really talking with a hallway now?

>>1777711
Well, a Hallway is a Hallway.

Let's go in.

>>1777711
>>1777705
"I think they're like Schrodinger's Hallways, Wilda."
"Also, who's that voice?"
Let's go for the one on the left to start with.
>>1777715
yes
>>1777716
but which one?

>>1777718
That's they're a metaphor for quantum mechanics? In any case, let go through the one that didn't speak to us.

>>1777718
But wasn't there only one path we could go?

The other door lead to Hell.

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>>1777716
Going in

>>1777718
>>1777715
"Yes. you're talking to a halllwaaaay. I'm the spirit that hauuuunt this plaaaaace....TOtally not enemies lying in ambush, looking for an opportunity to stab you in face"

>>1777724
Pull back joseph through Hat Tricks, we're not going to enter a haunted hallway, we're going to go through the hallway that isn't haunted and speaking to us.

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>>1777732
"shit"

>>1777724
Ask the hallway why it's such a dick.

>>1777733
oh ok...

Maybe some other time, Haunted Hallway.

Follow Wilda.

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>>1777735
"Why are you such a fag with no gf?"

>>1777737
Joseph backs off from the hallway

>>1777747
...
Follow wilda and Joseph to the next hallway.

>>1777722
>That's they're a metaphor for quantum mechanics?
yes
"The flow of time itself is convoluted in this series of quests. The very fabric wavers, and relations shift and obscure."
>>1777723
I have to go check back to see if I missed that part.

>>1777724
>>1777747
"I'll volunteer to scout as tribute."

>>1777747
Well, let continue on into the other hallway, then, since there's near universal agreement to it.

>>1777751
You do know that I understand that stuff, right? Can't be truly eldritch unless you understand the true rules of reality.

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Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>1777751
>>1777748
Horace volunteers to scout.

Roll 2d10

First roll is against my roll, if youw in then you don't slip.

Second roll is what's inside the hall way
10: Hallway full of doors, possible containing sweet loot
7-9: Hallway contains enemies
4-6: Hallway contains enemies and hazards
2-3: Stage hazards, stage hazards everywhere
1: It's actually full of bigass windows designed for hunters to fall out off due to the slippery floor.

Rolled 8, 3 = 11 (2d10)

>>1777761
I'll wall run around the slippery floor of doom.

>>1777756
>You do know that I understand that stuff, right? Can't be truly eldritch unless you understand the true rules of reality.
"Of course. Truly you are a more enlightened, eldritch soul than I."

>>1777761
>>1777770
Well, guess we need to prepare the medical kits for Horace.

>>1777761
Since I've been gone for so long OP can I get a quick run down of any of Oswell's new abilities?

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Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>1777770
OH SHIT THE WALLS ARE SLIPPERY TOO!

Roll 1d10 to not get hurt by the hazards you discovered.

Slipping gives you a -2 malus to your result

>>1777784
I dunno the cutoff point of Oswell's "new" abilities so let's just list em all:
- Sucker Punch: roll as a regular attack, but if hit then it does 4 damage and stuns enemy
- Throw bomb: throw a bomb, no bonuses for both parties, bomb is an AoE attack. Damage and effect depends on the type of bomb
- Throw knife: throw a knife, no bonuses for both parties, current type of knife does 1 damage
- Knife barrage: throw a dickload of knives, roll as many dices as the number thrown, max is 25 knives (because that's the apparent max number of dice rolls available in a single post on /qst/)
- Grand Master of None: Disable enemy bonuses when they interact with Oswell, but gives Oswell half of his regular stat as bonus

>>1777805
Hey OP, can I try firing my cannon to help disable some of the traps, so that Horace doesn't get too fucked when it comes to the traps?

>>1777805
The cut off point was somewhere around the second of June. So it's been a while.

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>1777805
"N-no! That can't be! That's not possible!"
>>1777774
"That'd be great, Wilda."

>>1777808
There was a while when QM's computer or life kept crapping out on him, so not as many threads went by as it normally would've.

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>1777807
Roll 1d10 to try

>>1777808
Aight

>>1777810
Yes. This year was the worst July I've had in a while.

>>1777805
HORACE YOU IDIOT
HOW COULD THE WALLS BE SLIPPERY AS WELL

>>1777810
Good to know I haven't missed much.
>>1777808
There was a rule in place where you could use one action a bread to save someone from something out of combat but at a roll. Otherwise it's once per combat if I'm not mistaken.

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>1777813

>>1777810
Just be warned that the cannon might hit you instead of hitting the traps, so, just be careful of that, alright?

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>>1777823
Oh shite Wilda missed both.

Now Horace's totes screwed unless somebody else can save him in time.

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>1777835
Throw a knife to jam the gears of the traps.

>>1777846
Best hope OP rolls low.

>>1777835
>>1777846
Activate Titanium Body and stop the traps from crushing Horace

>>1777818
>There was a rule in place where you could use one action a bread to save someone from something out of combat but at a roll. Otherwise it's once per combat if I'm not mistaken.
I remember the combat interceptions, but not the out-of-combat interceptions. I don't remember that being up in this quest at least.
>>1777818
>>>1777808
Did you reply to the wrong post?

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>1777846
The traps roll against Oswell

>>1777823
>>1777835
>>1777846
>>1777856
"Thanks for trying, Wilda and Oswell."
>>1777817
"I was a fool! I underestimated the slipperiness of this hallway!"

>>1777856
FUCK

Joseph, do something m8

>>1777856
>>1777854
USE MY STRENGTH TO STOP HORACE FROM BEING A HUGE FUCK UP
AHHHHHH

>>1777856
I can't believe Horace is going to be fucked by traps. Not those kinds, and not literally.

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>>1777854
Oh hey that worked

>>1777874
now pull Horace out of there, then have Wilda pull me through the hat

>>1777874
Oh, good going Joseph. Let get Horace away from that trap before it forces it way through Joseph!

>>1777874
"W-Wow! Thanks Joseph!"
Roll out of the way then help pull Joseph out.
>>1777873
I figured I would do better with those traps, to be honest. Given how previous rolls and stats against traps worked.

>>1777874
Time to vampirize Bub

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>>1777881
>>1777882
>>1777886
And so the hunters slipped back outta the hall as the trap slams down.

>>1777888
"Alrighty, so how is this gonna work?" Asked Bub, Bob's cousin and professional peasant

>>1777900
let's NOT go through that hallway

>>1777900
Two ways. Either I bite your neck and inject you with the vamp essence or I spill some of my blood into a vial and you drink it

>>1777900
>>1777903
"Yeah... I think fighting those totally-not-ambush-dudes at the other hallway sounds simpler."

"On the other hand, we could try making cleats with those holy or regular chains we have then try walking through."

>>1777900
So the floor's very slippy, and the traps are set to try to kill anyone who goes through here. Do we have any towels on hand to make the hallway not slippy?

>>1777903
And walk into what is clearly a ambush? At least with traps you know what they're planning to do.

>>1777903
What're you saying? The traps have been sprung right? It should be super safe now!

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>>1777903
Yeah. Cuz you'd be slippin' through it instead.

>>1777907
>>1777909
>>1777911
Now the hunters strategize their strategic strategy.

>>1777906
"Injecting vamp essence sounds vaguely homoerotic. Lemme just drink your blood instead. Yep, just expel some thick liquid from your body and lemme gulp that down my throat"

>>1777919
well, we can go through that hallway, just not fast like Horace did

We could throw something in there to spring anything else that didn't get sprung.

>>1777919
Do we have anything that can help make the slippy hallway not so slippy anymore? Also >>1777928

>>1777919
Take out a vial and cut your fingertip, pouring the blood into the vial. Then give it to Bub

>>1777924
I say this.

>>1777919
>>1777924
>>1777928
"So throw our chains to activate the traps, then walk through once it's activated?"

>>1777932
>>1777907
"I could fashion cleats from chains, or try a holy not-slipping blessing on our shoes."

>>1777888
>>1777900
>>1777919
>>1777933
You came much earlier than usual, Bob.

>>1777939
What exactly do we have in our inventory, anyway? Hopefully it'll be useful stuff.

>>1777939
>You came much earlier than usual, Bob.
That's what she said

>>1777941
"I dunno, stuff."
"I also have a bunch of wood I got from this Eldritch-looking statue earlier."

>>1777942
lol

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>>1777933
While the hunters plan on what to do next, Bob cuts his fingertip, pouring the blood into a vial. Then gave it to Bub.

But then he didn't specify what "it" was, ooooh noooooooooo

>>1777939
>>1777942
Indeed, I came early.

>>1777951
Don't be a butthead now

>>1777951
Let's activate those traps from range then

>>1777951
Activate all the traps beforehand in the hallway, before heading through it carefully.

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Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>1777963
ooooh noooooooooo

>>1777965
>>1777970
Roll 1d10 against the hallway

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>1777951
>>1777965
>>1777970
Yeah, let's do that. We can throw bricks or chains before pulling them back.

>>1777976

>>1777951
>>1777953
>>1777963
>>1777976
I think you came a bit too early, Bob.

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>1777976

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>1777976

>>1777976
Stop screwing around and give the vial to Bub

hey hey hey

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>>1777978
>>1777979
>>1777980
In the end, it was a well placed cannon shot that disabled the traps.

>>1777981
"So I just chug it?"

>>1777996
Hey

>>1778000
Yeah.

Wipe Bub's face with a towel

>>1778000
Race towards the treasure. Money will pave the way to bitches.

>>1778000
Alright, the path's cleared. Let see what lay on the other side of the corridor.

>>1778000
Waltz carelessly into the now trapless hallway.

Behind everyone else.

>>1778005
>treasure
or whatever is at the end of the trapped hallway

>>1778000
Let's get going, then.

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>>1778005
>>1778009
>>1778010
>>1778021
Inside the hallway, on the...way to the end is a doorway. It's not at the end, it's just a doorway in the middle of the hallway.

>>1778004
NOw that's a good face wiping.

Now would Bob like to roll for what kinda vamp Bub turns into

>>1778036
Seems suspicious. Joseph, do you want to check that room out?

>>1778036
Let me take a peak in the door way.
Like really carefully.

>>1778036
this seems like a trap

>>1778036
Yea sure. Take parts of Bub's face from the towel and place the parts back on his face

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>>1778042
>>1778044
>>1778043
And so Oswell decided to take a peek inside, like real carefully.

Oswell roll 1d10 to see what's inside
9-10: A chest
7-8: A punch
5-6: 2 punches
3-4: A cannon
2: 2 cannons
1: 4 armed doll monster

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>1778062

Perhaps there resides here a single woman?

>>1778048
Oh yeah and Bob roll 1d5 for Bub's vamp type

5: Also a vampbeast
4: Regular old vampire
3: Lesser vamp
2: Ghoul
1: Nothing happens

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>1778062
Ay I hope it's a daki

Rolled 4 (1d5)

>>1778066
>>1778062
Also rearrange his face back to normal

>>1778065
>>1778068
So, it's a chest guarded by cannons?

>>1778073
Maybe it's a young single female cannon?
I hope so I don't wanna get shot.

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Rolled 10, 7 = 17 (2d10)

>>1778069
Sure let's go with that.

Oswell roll 1d10 to dodge the cannon shots

>>1778069
Poof.

Bub is now a vampire.

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>1778088
I JUST WANTED BITCHES

>>1778087
...Are you going to try to /date/ the cannons, Oswell?

>>1778088
>>1778090
there seem to be a lot of cannon traps

>>1778088
Nice. Let's go introduce you to the gang

>>1778093
I mean shit a hole's a hole I guess.
OP can I roll to seduce the cannons if I don't die?

>>1778088
>>1778090
>>1778065
Ridinghood, what about you?

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>1778073
Imbecile.

>>1778088

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>>1778090
>>1778108
Too bad, so sad. Oswell managed to dodge one shot but the second one hits him for massive damage. Somebody apply first aid.

>>1778096
Bub gets introduced to the rest of Bob's team.

General consensus is that he should pick up some other equipment, or at least clothing that's not from the Peasant Autumn Collection.

>>1778113
Let's visit the vampire armory then

>>1778113
First aid Oswell.

>>1778113
First Aid Oswell then see what's past the cannons

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>1778113
I'll try healing him, another cannon shot coming up!

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Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>1778116
>>1778117
>>1778127
Alright, calm down fellas, one at a time, he ain't going anywh--OH SHIT A CANNON SHOT, IS IT A HEALING ROUND?

>>1778114
Ah yes, the Vamp Jew. He who is a bloodsucking creature intent on draining you of all your life force and resources, he's also a vampire.

>>1778139
Give Bub some equipment, vamp jew

>>1778139
>>1778127
oh shit it is a healing round

>>1778139
With the last of my willpower, I bid spirit waifu goodbye because my teammate is gonna kill me.

>>1778147
>>1778148
You'll be fine, her pre-roll was higher than the QM's.

>>1777692
Are your future threads going to be at around the same starting time, or the previous start times of 8 AM - 12 PM from your location?

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>>1778148
But it was a healing round. So now Things got really awkward

>>1778160
Depends on the day actually. But for now let's have this current hour as the regular time and see how that goes.

>>1778146
"Yes, and how much are you willing to spend?"

>>1778167
Check our wallet

>>1778167
Well... I mean, it prevented Oswell from dying, so he can't hang out with the female ghost that stands by him most of the time.

Let see if Joseph can Titanium Body it up and see what's with the chest.

>>1778175
>>1778167
Use Titanium body and open that chest

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>>1778180
Chest opened

>>1778171

>>1778167
>Depends on the day actually. But for now let's have this current hour as the regular time and see how that goes.
Nice. If that's the case I should be available when it starts around the time this thread did or the current hour.

>>1778167
>But it was a healing round. So now Things got really awkward
"It's a good thing I would never make a faux pas like that. Isn't that right, Cross-chan?"

>>1778189
So is this the gold we already had, or the gold we earned?

>>1778189
JESUS CHRIST JOSEPH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

>>1778189
Spend 50 gold to buy Bub equipment

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>>1778190
"..."

>>1778194
It's Bob's gold.

>>1778189
close my chest back up and go into the room and open the wooden chest container

>>1778189
nigga the fuck
not my chest, the chest that's made out of wood probably and has a lock on it

>>1778202
>>1778201
two seconds

twoooo seconds

>>1778195
He aight.

>>1778200
>>1778201

>>1778212
Oh, right, Titanium Body. Ripping your chest open still is a bad idea in general.

>>1778201
>>1778189
>>>1778171
"Aw shit. Sorry, Cross-chan."

>>1778222
>>1778189
Does this mean Broseph can do the same thing and still be fine?
>>1778202
I'll check up on Joseph just to be sure he's fine.

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>>1778209
>two seconds
>twoooo seconds
And so Joseph bleeds for two more seconds. Perhaps more.

>>1778235
>Does this mean Broseph can do the same thing and still be fine?
Yeah

>>1778220
"Alright, what kinda equipment you want? Heavy armor? Medium armor? Light clothing?"

>>1778248
What kinda armor you want Bub?

>>1778248
...How about I just blast him with another healing shot and get that wound closed up? And hey Broseph.

>>1778248
Op plz stop with the bamboozles

Joseph will stop bleeding and go open the wooden chest

>>1778189
>>1778248
Curious, where did Bob get the 50 gold from? I thought he gambled it away with Joseph earlier, unless that was another timeline.

>>1778248
"So Broseph, how's it been?"

Bing Bing

>>1778281
Wahoo

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>>1778256
Thanks to Titanium Body, Joseph's self-inflicted wound closed up and he was able to tank the various cannon shots to reach the chest.

Joseph players now roll 1d10 for what happens when you open the chest
10: Sweet loot
6-8: Okay loot
2-4: Meh loot, turns out the chest was merely bait so hunters would get shot by the cannons
1: Portal to the dark realm of monsters outside human comprehension

>>1778255
>>1778261
Broseph returns your greetings and states that he's doing well

>>1778251
"Well, I dunno, how about..."

Bob pick what kinda class Bub will be:
- Fast hitting vamp with a rapier
- Heavily armored vamp with a heavy weapon
- Medium armor-clad vamp with a medium weapon set, like a sword and shield or something
- Even faster hitting assassin type vampire equipped with stabby knives but with even lower unlife expectancy

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>1778293
CHESTOOOOO
FWOOOOOOOSH!

>>1778293
A huge buff plate armor and just a massive shield, larger than a door, for a weapon

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>1778293
Dammit, other Joseph.

>>1778294
Congrats faget

>>1778298
>larger than a door

Hello useless

>>1778294
>>1778299
...I guess I might have to get involved with this, so that the party doesn't go insane.

>>1778293
Golem travels with HF and Merc after a well deserved lunch.

>>1778294
>>1778306
"Joseph, no! Don't call upon the spirit of Gar for luck!"

>>1778293
>>1778311
"I'll start giving sermons to everyone if it comes to that."

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>>1778299
>>1778294
Now...what to do

>>1778298
Bub is now a Shield Vamp

>>1778317
One wonders what does an automaton eats for lunch.

>>1778343
WD-40 of course

>>1778343
Cool. Now let's go chill in the batcave

>>1778343
Why not do both? Have it be a portal to the dark realm of monsters outside human comprehension and sweet loot that they're willing to give us.

>>1778343
>>1778354
what wilda said, OP

>>1778354
I'd be okay with this.

>>1778343
>>1778354
I'm scared, yet Intrigued.

If someone dies, I blame the other Joseph.

Do it.

>>1778345
It helps with bowel movements when you eat too many fastener nuts

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>>1778354
And so Joseph gets dragged into the dark realm of monsters outside human comprehension

>>1778348
And so,,,the vamps smoked weed

>>1778377
Okay cool

>>1778396
Oswell, Horace, stay back and keep a hold of my hat. I'm going in with Joseph.

>>1778396
holy shit where are we
tfw this is the kind of stuff I live for in a NaP quest

>>1778396
Where's the notorious goblin vampire assassin One-Eyed Scrooge? I hope we gave him weed too

>>1778396
Look around and figure out where the Hell I am.

>>1778396
Oh shit.
>>1778408
"Wait, Wilda! Let me bless you first in case these aren't your relatives!"
Blessing Wilda so she can find Joseph easier.

>>1778411
Indeed.

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>>1778408
>>1778411
>>1778419
BEHOLD! THE DARK REALM OF MONSTERS OUTSIDE HUMAN COMPREHENSION!

>>1778433
this is getting too meta for me, OP

>>1778433
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

>>1778412
He's in there, he's just too short to be seen.

>>1778433
...Really? This is the dark realm? Talk about false advertising.

>>1778433
"I sure hope the others are okay."

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>>1778438
Yes. Meta. We're getting meta tonight.

A night of meta.

A...meta night.

>>1778450
Boooo. BOOOOO!

>>1778450
show us the actual realm of monsters

>>1778450
Why is that loli masturbating into your mask?

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>>1778460

Oh okay.

I see we have a fan of mario with us here tonight.

>>1778474
How's the real drawing coming along?

>>1778433
>>1778450
>>1778474
OP, how could you?

>>1778474
aren't boos just dead marios?

>>1778474
Not that kinda boo, it's a 'that was a shitty pun' boo!

>>1778474
I gotta recruit another guy

>>1778485
Recruit the Boo

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>>1778477
You see.

There is no drawing. That was the joke.

I've lied to you. I've lied to you all.

>>1778494
So, there isn't actually any dark realm of monsters that would drive morals insane?

>>1778494
>>1778499
it would've been pretty cool for a dark realm of monsters to be honest

>>1778494
Wait, but if you lied about the Monsters, then where is the Loot?

>>1778494
You are sitting on it, arent you? It's okay to feel insecure. This is a safe place.

>>1778494
Recruit

>>1778499
Well I dunno. Morals are a concept and generally a set of rules a person follows to conduct their daily business. It can't really be driven insane if it's not a sentient being in the first place.

>>1778512
What about driving mortals insane?

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>>1778508
Recruint who'm'st ?

>>1778512
Phew! I'd hate to have my morals driven insane.

>>1778494
but why?

>>1778540
Whitebeard the ancient

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>>1778543
iuunnooo

>>1778568
That looks more like what I was imagining. It's a bit dark, but I think I can see someone there.

>>1778540
>>1778568
Oshit

>>1778568
>>1778499
"Hey... Wilda. Do any of these look like your relative or friends?"
I'mma start furiously praying to God to save my virgin soul now.

>>1778581
First of all, communication through top hats is ridiculous. Secondly, you aren't with us right now.

>>1778568
holy shit let's explore it

>>1778568
>>1778588
Honestly I thought I was gazing into the portal from OP's reply and you were still yet to enter it, or at the entrance of it.

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>>1778575
Nobody's here

Somebody's here

Everybody's here

Nobody's here

>>1778609
this is getting spooky, let's keep going and see what happens

>>1778609
What if we just try to find a way out? Or some Loot? Either of those are Acceptable. Preferably both.

>>1778603
I'm certain that both me and Joseph are through the portal, and the rest of the party is left behind in the not-eldritch realm.

>>1778609
What about the 'body in the cloak right there? Is that somebody or nobody?

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>>1778551
Meanwhile, Bob tries to recruit Whitebeard the Ancient, he's down in the basement.

>>1778617
I thought that was a door with a spike ontop.

>>1778624
Go in to the basement holding a torch

>>1778625
In such a realm, you must always be aware of whatever anything and every can and can not be. It also looks like a black spoon leaning on a grave, but that might not be its form.

>>1778603
>Honestly I thought I was gazing into the portal from OP's reply and you were still yet to enter it, or at the entrance of it.
>>1778617
As in, shouting through the portal if you're within distance of it, since the portal is like a doorway of sorts I'm assuming.
It didn't look like you two got far from the portal, assuming it goes to the same spot each time.

>>1778624
Oh hey, it's that basement.

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>>1778614
Corridors of flesh, Pathways of meat. Eyes. Forever Watching.

>>1778661
oh god
blood is coming out of the walls

>>1778661
Spooky. I'll go check up on the Altar and ask the Priest if he has any advice for eldritch realms in the meantime.

>>1778666
>>1778633
Good luck you two.

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>>1778627
doot doot doot

>>1778661
Goritecture, the brutalist architecture of the unspeakable realms.

>>1778666
You ripped open your chest and bled more blood earlier than the walls are doing right now. Aren't you supposed to be unphased by all this?

>>1778681
Hello? Whitebeard, you here?

>>1778684
just a bit spooked, just a bit

>>1778688
I mean, since this is your first time here, I guess that's reasonable. Thankfully you're not blabbing and crying in the corner already, which the average human would've done in a place like this.

>>1778661
No time to sit around and go Insane, Continue forwards!

Whats happening here???
>Be scared.

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>>1778675
Horace heads back for the outpost, asking the priest for advice on Eldritch realms. He answered: "It's simple. Don't go there"

>>1778687

>>1778724
Head towards the voice and lighten up the area

>>1778724
"Thanks, Priest. So... hypothetically speaking, what would happen if say, two of my friends decided to go there through a portal for loot?"
>>1778568
"Of which, I may or may not have taken a peek without entering a portal, and possibly saw some stuff before going here."

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>>1778758
"well, hypothetically speaking, if your friends are normal people then there's no saving them. They're forever lost to the madness within the realm of darkness"

>>1778736

>>1778803
Greetings, Whitebeard. I've come to recruit you

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>>1778704
Forwards. Backwards.

>>1778825
This seems like something that might understand languages. Just let me talk with him:

H̩͔̘̻̟͉͍̃̂͊̐̂͐͞͝e̡̻͈͚͎͍͚͌͒̐̀͒͐́̕l̶̪͓̳̈̇̐͒͌̒̚͜͢ĺ̷̨̙̬̹̯̔̓́̈́͊̎͋̓͡ǭ̸̩̖̱͕͔̹̻̠͑͑͐̍̾̏̌͟͝?͎͎̝̤̱̉̽̕͠͞

>>1778825
>>1778833
we're not inside a living thing, are we?

>>1778842
I Hope not

But Probably.

>>1778803
"Ah, right. Makes sense. What if these two of my friends were say, fictive kin who also happened to be vampire hunters? Of which, one of them may have been to these eldritch realms in the past or may in fact be related to them?"

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>>1778833


̸̼̪̎͆̃͘ت̢͓̞̮̰̟̩͛ͦ̽̈́̌̕ح̵͍͙̟̰ͤ̌͜ي̣̘̖͕̙̬ͧ͛̽̃ͧ̿͑̒̄ة̴̢̳̖͊͆̋̓،̴̛͙ͦ̾̓͛̃ ̶̷̬͋͊͒̊͛ͦ͗ا̸̛̭̝͖̬́̏́ل̷̫͎͈͉̩ͭ͐̒͡͠ق̵͎̺͓̭̳̱̫͗̈́́́ͅد̶̹̼͗͊̐̑͢ي̜̜͉̥͕͓̝̝̤̑͗ͫͮ́͠م̢̩̰̝̪̻̫̳̬̎ͮ̀͑̈́̓̑͗̕ ̯͓̝̦̖̫̱͛͡و̴̛̯͍͔̘̮͍̙̒̎ͬا̪͓̳̤͂̉̆̒͗ح̧̦͕̰͔̰̜̓͒ͯ̓̚د̨̝̻̝̳̞̹́̎̌ͧ̿ͧͦ͝،̹̘̗̳͈̺͖ͪ̎̔̒̀ͣͪͫ ̢̨̤̜͍̪̯͉̰͊́ا̷̵͕̙̤̠̳̤͊ͫͤ̈̉̓ͮ͋ل͔̩̉͒ͩذ̪͙̘͖͇͛ͫ͗͊̒͑ͣͮͦي̫͚̻̯̠̥͌̎̆̊̎͗̕ͅ ̡̠̫ͮج̵̖͇̝̮̼̱̀̌̽̽͆́ͅل͚̗͔̆̆̕ب̻̜̝̜ͬ̈́͌̄ͅ ̛͎̝͇̮̖̙̄̐́͗̓̉͒ͫ͟ل̸̛͉̗̞̳̱̫̬̹̒͗̔̌ͫ͒ͦ̋ك͇̼̱̟͇ͪ̎͋ ̧̰̞͚̘̑͆̃ͮ͗̑͂ͮه̰̳̱̻̣̬̞̦͑ͣͩ͋ن̳͓̮̺̦͎̬̞͋͐ا̧̖̬̠̟̫̖̺̹́͛̓͠
>>1778851
"well, if somehow, for some reason one of them is an eldritch abomination...then they must be purged. Oh and they'll probably survive the realm"

>>1778811
"Recruit me? Fer what?"

>>1778878
WILDA WHAT IS HAPPENING

>>1778878
For our anti-hunter team

>>1777675
Fuck I have to go to bed hope you be on 10 PM pacific time!

>>1778878
>>1778885
My eldritarabic is rusty, but I think he's talking about a date. "Wed. Sept. 12 24th, ͦ ͦͭͭͫͮͫͮͫͮͮͮͬͬͯͧͧͦͧͧͦͧͧͦ͢͢, ͪͣͪͫͫͤͮͫͤͮͩͩͫͣͮͦͫͣͮͦͮͮͮͬͬͫͫͦͪͪͪͣͩͣͩͣͩͫͦͪͪͪͣͩͣͩ" or something like that.

>>1778878
"Oh, that's good hypothetical chances then. Say, if this hypothetical eldritch, fictive kin of mine who happened to be a vampire hunter was helpful, saved our lives multiple times in the past, and mostly friendly, would the purging still be necessary? If so, why?"

"Also, are eldritch abominations dicks? What about vampires?"

>>1778902
Who that?

>>1778715
>>1778724
>>1778878
Just so you know, Anon Horace, we didn't enter the portal yet besides peeking at what the entrance looked like. We're at the outpost now asking the Altar Priest some questions.

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>>1778885


ẅ̶̢̱̞̙̖̼̖̞̣̱̮̮̯̻͕̗̄ͨ̂͑̀͗̄̀ͅh̶̯͕͓̬̣͔͈̠̻͇̪͒̊̃̒ͦ̊͛̓̆̏̌̐̾̂ͮ͠ấ̵̜͔̖̟͙ͩ̍ͯ̽̏́͞t̬̯͙̰̬̼̤͈̤͖͚̝̙͍̳̯ͯ͛͂ͮ̀̀͘ ̡̮̻͙͕̯͇̻̹͍͙̂̀̀̓ͮ̍̉̄̓̎̋̾̀͘͞͡i̴̧̬̭̝̝͙̯̼̱̝̖̦̗̪̋ͩ͂ͭ͆ͣͪ̕͜͠s̝͓̳̯̰̫͔̟̳ͪ͊͑ͮ͗̋̌ͤ̏̌ͫ̃̂̌͑͊̒̚͡͠ͅ ̷̡̛̥̬̩̰̋́̄̋͢͞ͅḫ̶̶̗͎̳̝̹͙̯̤̦̺̟͍͚͕ͫ̈́ͯͧ̏͌͒͗ͣ̊ͬa̵̢̧̼̜͖͇̼̫̼̘̼͖͈̙̯̟͈̳ͪ͂̿̽ͣ͗͐͟͟p̵̢̢͕̹͓̗̖͈̣̙̳̗͈͙̦̞͔ͭ̄ͫ͋ͧͩ̔͞͝p̴̖͈̻͚̍̍ͪ̂͠e̛͕͇͕̝̺͉̪͚͓̜̤͙ͫ̒̏̽̈́̽̏̓́ͨͬ̔̃͘ͅͅn̼̟̳̻͆̌͐̚͝͠͡ͅi̧͇̣̘͍͍̯̼̜͕ͫͨ̆͋ͤ͗̌́͟n̴̡͈͈̭̖͔̺͉̦̙̦̬̼̼̩̜ͣ̒͐̔ͪ͌͛̐ͯ͛̈́͝͝
Ñ̛͇̼̬̯̰͉͓̽̌͐̕i̸̷̢̪̠͓̣ͤ̊̊ͫ̃́̽̈́̚̚͡h̢̻̮͔͈̖̺̠͓̤̰̞̞̦̮͉͊͛͛ͬ̉̀̕͘͞ͅi̵̛̦̼̣̟̙͖̰̬̤̫ͬ̓ͪ̿͂̓ͨͦͩ͌̚̚͘͘ͅl̵̢̛̩͉͕͖͉̼̣̝̝ͬ̌̒ͭ̓̈̍̎͊́ͭͩ̓ͩ̾̍͌̇͢ ̜̰͉̹̠̗͗̏ͮ̀e̵̡̝͈̭̗̤̼̮͎͌̏̂̋̇̐̓ͅn̴̢̥͓͕̫͖͙̖̺̗͔̟̥̳͙̙̳͕̝̈́͋ͨ̈́̆̾̂͗̏ͧ̓̇̿ͩ͒̃̊į̷͕̯̟̇̈́̂͐̍͂ͨ͊͌͊̒̏ͤ̾͂ͬ͊̕͝m̜̮̬͙͇ͯ͗̍̆͌̓̆ͬ̓̓͛̑͛͟͞ ̶̩̱̠̖̭͎̤̭͖̺̘̞̯̹͉̪̝͌ͦͧ̍͂̃͒̊̽ͤ͑̈̋ͤͯ͑͜͡f̷̷̡̙̞̱̹̱̥̦̓̔̎͊̾ͦ̍̓̊̊͑̚͢͟ͅi̸̵̡̨̪̖̦̱̍͑ͪͨ͗ͣͤ̐ͤͨͮͪ̿͛͜e͇̮̜͓̹ͣ͌ͦ̀ͪ͒̐̌̎̋̾̑ͬ̐̀̚r̨̛̟͙̪̺̭̜̼̻̞̃̓ͩͮ̊̀̀͠i̢̦̼͙̦̰͆̎͑͛̈́͊ͫ̓̌̄̓ͪͮ̌̒̀
o̴̸̢͖̞͇̹͂ͧͪ̈́͌̐̔͑̈́͊̎̈͂̓̾̇̓̇ͯm͉̙͓̺̙̝̬̈́̌ͭͬ̇̃͋̆͌̿ͧ̆̔ͫ͋̒ͤ́̀̚͡n̨͎͔͚̠̰̳̤̪̂̓ͬ̽̿͌̀̒̌ͩͧ̆̀̕͡͝e̢̱̪͉͔̣͎̮͔͙̜̬̹͓̽̾͋̄̀͘ ̝̠̪͚̙̼ͬͩͦ͐ͭͪ͛ͫͯ͜͡ͅè̙̺̘̩̪̘͓͓͖̬̟̯̰̭͓̄͛ͯ͊́̀͢ͅn̢͈̝̮̪̙̪̳̒̓̍ͣ̽̓͑ͦ̈́ͮ͟i̸̴̶̹̩͚͚̺̻̓ͦͧ͌͝m̫͖͍͓͍̤͉͓̩̂̌͐ͮ̑͘̕͟͠ͅ ̢͙͔͔͉͈̻̻̙̞̼̗͓͈͍͙͇̜̥̮͐͗͆̈͆̓̎̈ͫ̋̕f̧̤̰͕̩̞ͯ̈́͛͐ͧ͋̓̓̇̌̐̈̑͜͡i̸̳̯̬̥͍̖̞̩̮͍ͭ͛̉̍̐̀͆̈ͣͨ̉̿͟ȩ̺̫͔̩͚̻̟̟̯̼̝̭̳̘̻͊̇ͧ̒̋̂ͫ̂͂̽͛͗̈ͧ̑̊̔͘͘͝r̷̴̶̸̬̭̮̹̘̮̝͕̹̪̼͕̜̝͍͔̗͆̋ͬͭ͗̆̄ͭ̉̋ͣͪ̊̓͛͢ͅi̴̮̗̝̞̤͔̜̤̮͖̙͉̝ͬ̈̿̚̕


p̷̶͍̼̭͔͇͔͙͕͔̖̰̮̦̠̣ͤ͐ͯ̎̕̕ǫ̷̙̹̱̞̰̩̥̟͎̰͕͔̥̬̻͕̻̉͆͐̍̓̏̌̓̈́̓̓ͦͮͫ̋͢t̘̖̯̗̝̯̙̜̑͗͂͌̓̃̎͛͋͋̈̕͟e̖̝͓̣̗̼̯͚͎̞͌̿ͬͮ͊̄̀̉ͯ̆̏̿͌͊ͩͩ̽̕ş̨̛̱̠̝̗̹̪͇͚̳̻̣͙̤̠̍ͧ̆ͦ̿̆ͬ͘ͅͅͅͅͅ ̸̛̩̰̪̰̪̑̀ͫ͋̀̌́̂́̚͞v̸̱̦̪͖̻͉͕͕͍ͪ̃ͬ̓̈̾͋ī̶̸̡̹̪͍̩͕͇̞͒̏̾͑̓͊̌̐͆̏͝d̷̡͓͔̬͈̟̜̙̼̳̫̞͎̙ͣ̆ͭ̓ͫ́ͣ͗ͬ̃͋̊͑̓͆ͬḛ̸̡̫̻̤̻̘̩̱̰̤̤̤̌̿͑̋́͠r̛̜̭̫͔̝͊ͨ̊̄̊̐̿͂ͮ̌̍̐̏̋͘͘e̬̬̟̮̤̖͍̭͖͖̰͔͚̠͒̀ͪ̑̌̎̐͒͗ͭ̄͗̔ͪ̆͢͟

>>1778967
OH GOD
CAN WE FIGHT IT, WILDA? WHAT IS IT SAYING?

>>1778967
.̶̰̟̪̮̝͕̌.̶̢̢̧̢̺͔͎̖͉͙̗̩̎̄̾͆́̀͗̎̽̍͝.̶̧̡̛̦͓͈̤̹͈̙͈̝̠͉̬̈͊͐̈́̊ͅẼ̷͓̭̹͈̭͔̙͉͌͑̊̒͊̓͌̾̕̚͝x̶̗̹̹͚̻̔̀̂͑͌̿̕͝c̷̳̊̌̉͘e̶̦̗͙̥̬̮̪̬̱͆̂̍̃̑̍́̈́̉̓̓͊p̶͖̺̬̹̙̀͊͆̏̾̈̀̕͠t̶̨̥̪̩̗̿͠ ̶̛̭̏͋̐̀̒̆̚f̸̨̨̘̮̞̦̱̺̎͐͗͐o̴̗̩̥̜̰̮̩̤̭̥̘̜͕̩̐̇̄͌̈́͒̋̇͘r̷͈̣͚͌̓̍͋̈́́͌͋͆͒͂̀̕ ̵̞̺̹̬̠̹̝͐̑̆́̾̀̎̉̊̔̕͠m̶͇̭̮̖̳͊̏̈̊̎̽̎̑͝e̸̞͊̔̽̓͝.̶̢͕̙̮̮̘̺̠̰͈͖̌̄͒̇̀̇́͛́̑̈́̽̑͠ ̴̛͕̥̼̥͈̗̬͉̜̘̘̟͍͐́͌̌͌̈́͛̑̈́̒̏̕̚͠ͅÇ̵̧̥̙̩͎̦̤̈́̂̉̇͗̐͗͒̏̐͛̓̃̓̚ͅͅȩ̸͕̟͙̥̼͖̪̫͙͙͈̇̊̽̑͆̾͑̓͘͜͜͝a̸̧̨͓̫̤̗̳͍͆́̔̏͛̈͊ͅş̷̢̛̜̤͈̣̖̈̈͋͝e̷͕͚͙̮̭̩̜͕̠̰͉͒͐ ̶̡̧̢̱̺͙̥͎̟̥͕̗̰͙͛͒̌̆̄̒́͛̑͐͛̕t̷̢̹̮̖̦͇̬̥̹͓̂̂̆̽̋͑̇̏̽͋́̈́̉͜͝ȟ̵̢̳͓͙͙̣̱͇͈̟́̎̀͛̒͛͑̂̌͐͋̐̚ͅi̵̢̻͎͖̝̤̪̟̳͂͌͆̂̏͂̈͑͒͠s̵͈̯͇̮̘̜͍̮͍̥̪͔̽̌͒̐̊̿̉͛́͆͠ ̷̱̒͂̈́̽͠a̶̡̢̝̟͎̜̗͋̎͘t̶̢̨̛̪̩̞̥̀̀̔̾̏̄̃̈͐̋̇͋͝ͅ ̴̡̢̮̖͍̠͉͔͔͉̌̀̋̀̄̈́̄̉͛̋͒͘͠o̸̧̧̰̙͈͂̎͊̔̍́̍̂̈́͗̕͠͝n̶͖̬̄̀͆̋̎͌̀͘͘c̶̡̡̢̙͖͑̋͐̀͂̉̆e̵̤̓͆̓̎̆̊̑̄.̴̞̘͉̠̠̼́̾̊͂̃͜͝

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>>1778929
"Well, if this hypothetical eldritch being was helpful, then perhaps the purging can be held off until it no longer proves itself to be on the side of God. You see, Eldritch beings, like vampires, most of the time doesn't exactly have our humans' best interest in mind"

>>1778887
"Oh? So sum darn huntahs gone and invaded the castle ?"

>>1778929
This me, see you guys in the funnies

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>>1778998
"Well okay spoilsport...tea?"

>>1779029
careful Wilda, it might be poison

>>1779003
Yea they've been a pain in the ass for a while. Even killed master Mark! But we resurrected him

>>1779029
You should really ask them ahead of time if you want to do that stuff to them. And well, what kind of tea is it?

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>>1779044
"The tea kind"

>>1779039
"Pffft ya dang youngin's, back in mah day we protect'd our masters! And we didn't need no fancy shmancy "vamp beasts" to do it. Back then all ah had was mah claws and wits! And ah was doin' fine! You darn youngin's today been too coddled. I bet it's because of those dang foreign products! Dem scrolls from that ol' eastern country aint doing you any good yah know. Them dang orientals are the cause of all of this"

Perhaps Whitebeard was put in the basement due to being a crazy old coot

>>1779084
Ah. Right. So how's it been down in this place, anyway?

>>1779084
Dubs>subs, Whitebeard. Now you wanna help us out or you wanna stay here in total darkness forever alone like usual?

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>>1779090
"Oh, same old same old. Madness runs rampant with insanity riding shotgun. Oh and a bake sale's coming up soon"

>>1779091
"Ah aint alone! Ah have mah friend Herbert here wit me. Don't I Herbert?.....Yes, yes, I know he smells too but ya don't hafta be so rude about it"

>>1779113
Give him a blunt to clear his mind

>>1779113
ooh a bake sale
you think they have poak buns?

>>1779003
>>1779003
>most of the time doesn't exactly have our humans' best interest in mind"
"Oh. Why's that?"
I start to visibly sweat a bit.
"Would this still be the case if this hypothetical friendly eldritch being was being treated like a combat buddy-executioner-sidekick-little sister of sorts? Of which said treatment would be mostly from a possible checkbox card I had found when I found that hypothetical little girl-eldritch being?"
"Especially if said friendly eldritch being was found from a mysterious box of sorts that totally exists in a thought experiment?"

"Also, what's your name, Father Priest? I don't know what you'd rather be called by."

>>1779113
Sounds nice, hopefully they still serve those cupcakes that I like. As you can clearly see, I finally got out of that void of mysteries connected to all those boxes with question marks on them. This guy, whose name is Horace, helped me get out of said void with some help from his friends, Oswell and the mask-wearing Joseph over here.

However, it seems like my power isn't really that powerful anymore. Like I can't go into my truest form when I take off my limiter, only this 'true' form which is so last infinity. Got any ideas as to how to fix that?

>>1779113
Tell Herbert to stop being a fag and join us.

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>>1779128
"Why? How about the fact that the very presence of an Eldritch being usually causes people in the general area to descend into madness with varying degrees of violence. Or that all cases of Eldritch beings crossing over that were detected by our church have involved of them either using their maddening powers to lure entire towns into their doom. Or sometimes even breeding with us humans, usually ending up with the "child" bursting out violently from within the human parent? One time I personally saw a cultist who, in their own words, were "gifted" with the "seed of the dark place". Immediately after they say this their body underwent violent contortions, bones cracked, skin twisted, blood poured out from every orifice, then tentacles started emerging, first from the mouth. It kinda looked like this. Then the tentacles didn't stop sprouting, every conceivable orifice produced at least five. The abomination then wriggled around, as a sick, twisted mockery of life itself. We had to burn it in holy fire. It dies wailing an indescribeable scream that caused ears to bleed and plants to wither. It continued screaming until it was nothing but ash. But then the screams continued for at least 2 hours before dying....Anyway you can just call me Father Priest, that's okay"

>>1779121

>>1779158
"Have you try exercising"

>>1779209
Wilda ain't fat

>>1779209
Whitebeard? You okay?

>>1779113
>>1779195
Isn't Herbert Whitebeard's friend though?

>>1779209
>"Have you try exercising"
>>1779217
lol

>>1779209
...Honesty, not properly. I only went around bashing vampires heads in and the likes, even impaled a elder vampire with a stake. What kind of exercise should I be doing?

>>1779217
Why did you assume he was calling me fat?

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>>1779219
"Ah'm always okay"

>>1779226
Huh. So would you be willing to join us in defeating the hunters?

>>1779209
Horace, chill the fuck out no one has to know bruh.

What are they gonna do if they find out? Kill us? Bah!

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>>1779225
>>1779217
"Indeed, Joseph, that's pretty rude of you"

>>1779230
"Sure. Ah gotta protect the castle from dang hunters"

>>1779243
We protec but we also attac

>>1779243
So how can we upgrade Wilda's abilities, great one?

>>1779243
Still, what kind of exercise are you talking about, to unlock the proper potential of my true form?

>>1779209
"Oh.. I uh... I see..." *Starts sweating more* "...So if that's the case, if this speculative friendly eldritch girl didn't do any of those things yet, why do you think that is? Aside from rescuing said girl from a mysterious box, that is?"
"Are there ways to ensure said allied girl's loyalties or fictive kinship?"

"Otherwise, if said eldritch girl looks mostly like a little girl, does that mean anything?"

>>1779234
Well we don't actually know much of the eldritch abominations yet, which is why Horace is asking. This sounds like the sort of stuff he should know.
Also he's still alone with Father Priest while this conversation is taking place, so there's that.

>>1779003
>>1779084
>>1779243
Aren't there always hunters invading the castle, though?

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>>1779255
>>1779257
"Oh the usual eldritch workout, morning exercises, engaging in physical activities, causing unfathomable madness in the minds of mortals in order to harvest the shattered fragments of their psyche, eating healthy foods such as fruits, vegetables, white meat and the souls of particularly strong beings"

>>1779258
"Perhaps, this fictional theoritical eldritch "girl" merely has a goal that just happens to coincide with you, in this hypthetical scenario. Or perhaps the thing is just biding its time until the perfect time to strike, making you drop your guard....And said eldritch being looking like a girl, well perhaps it's because whoever chose to give it that form is simply a sick fuck with deep rooted mental issues. Or a hack"

>>1779291
Oh, great one
Is there a way for me to learn/harness the eldritch powers as well?

>>1779291
Go with Whitebeard to the batcave

>>1779300
Other Joseph no

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>>1779291
The first two I'm already doing, but would vampires count as 'mortals' in terms of being able to harvest their shattered psyche, and souls of elder vampires in terms of feasting upon their souls?

Also, I found this mask earlier. Any chance it belongs to you or someone you know?

>>1779300
We all have our own gimmicks, Horace's holy, Jon's a jojo reference, I'm eldritch, you're of a mystery gender and Oswell has no gf. Let me focus on my stuff, and you focus on your stuff.

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>>1779300
"Of course. You just have to be impregnated by the spawn of a being from this realm, then having your flesh reconfigured when the child is born"

>>1779309
Wow, pretty smoky in here

>>1779348
Flap the smoke away with your wings

>>1779347
>>1779348
well, Wilda
what do you say?

>>1779361
>>1779348
I Do not Concent to this

Wilda help

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>>1779347
"That visage...isn't that your cousin?"

>>1779353
"ya know, perhaps next time when we blaze it....we could open a window"

>>1779361
Again, you're just a mortal. While I was born into being eldritch, you would have to be moulded to be so, shattering your sanity and generally end up no better than a insane beast. If I was you, I would hold off on that through and not go through with it, or at least until death starts to knock on your door.

>>1779371
>>1779372
man, this is tempting
what would I have to roll to get the powers, OP?

>>1779371
I believe it is. Found it inside a wall in this castle-manor belonging to this elder vampire whose currently keeping the local countryside under total darkness. I honesty don't know why it would be there.

>>1779371
Batcave has no windows. There's only an air ventilation channel. Which leads to the secret passageways of the castle

>>1779291
"Huh... Well that's interesting."
>"Perhaps, this fictional theoritical eldritch "girl" merely has a goal that just happens to coincide with you, in this hypthetical scenario.
"That sounds like something I should work on if that's the case, any ways to ensure that or make the cooperation more than that in this scenario? Like say something that works because we treat each other as friends or family?"

>And said eldritch being looking like a girl, well perhaps it's because whoever chose to give it that form is simply a sick fuck with deep rooted mental issues. Or a hack"
"Only the most terrible of people, I'd imagine." *Shudders in horror.*

Wow this is getting meta.

>>1779209
>I personally saw a cultist who, in their own words, were "gifted" with the "seed of the dark place".
"Say, if one of my speculative friends were to consider that cultist deal you were mentioning, what should I do? Especially if they were in this fictional eldritch realm? Any way I could help or convince them otherwise?"

>>1779380
We are not going Nuclear, God Dammit

this is how a Hunter gets turned into a Mini-Boss

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>>1779380
"Nothing. Just say Yes"

>>1779389
"oh yea"

>>1779383
"Hmm. I did hear about Ä̷̢̹̩̦͖͚̥̫̠͎́̐̊ͤ͋͊ͫ̃͂̊͋'̶̸̨̛̼̤̦̞͕̘͍̪̭̌̂̈͊̆͋͑̊͑̒ͫ̑͑̓͆͘r̷̶̸̢͇̯͉͍̮͔̼̺̝͔̠̥͉͙̫̻͐̉ͧ͛̇̉͂̍̀͊̐͐̚͝ͅọ̻͚͖̖̹͚̗̬̥̟̳̗̫̼̊̋ͦ̔̄͗ͫ̐̂̓̀̕d͇̪̥̼͚͔̮͖̀̉̈́̑̐ͣ̌ͩ̀̕a̧̨̰̞̞̭̮͙̞͎͇͙̯̗̹̪̰̝͋̾̂̍͒̒ͅͅķ̛͖͕̩̟͎̠̠̭̖̯̤̗̊ͤͫ̈́ͣͫͯͧ̕͡x̡͈̟͈̼̝͉̰̫̦̜̩͕̹͕͚̦̗̳́̈̿͑̈̍ͩ̊͆̒͌͗̇́͠ going missing a while ago"


>>1779392
"If one of your "friends" is considering accepting the temptations of the eldritch abominations, then consider finding new friends and/or seperating the offending "friend" from Eldritch influences, either through physical removal or a mental block...a lobotomy would also work. And if they actually accepted it then purge them, purge their corrupted body from this world"

>>1779420
not right now, I guess
Can you offer me something like a better axe or cool loot instead, great one?

>>1779420
No

>>1779425
>>1779424
>>1779420
But yeah, Cool loot is Cool. Could we have that?

>>1779424
>>1779425
Just don't do it, it will bring more pain and suffering than it's worth.

>>1779420
Ä̷̢̹̩̦͖͚̥̫̠͎́̐̊ͤ͋͊ͫ̃͂̊͋'̶̸̨̛̼̤̦̞͕̘͍̪̭̌̂̈͊̆͋͑̊͑̒ͫ̑͑̓͆͘r̷̶̸̢͇̯͉͍̮͔̼̺̝͔̠̥͉͙̫̻͐̉ͧ͛̇̉͂̍̀͊̐͐̚͝ͅọ̻͚͖̖̹͚̗̬̥̟̳̗̫̼̊̋ͦ̔̄͗ͫ̐̂̓̀̕d͇̪̥̼͚͔̮͖̀̉̈́̑̐ͣ̌ͩ̀̕a̧̨̰̞̞̭̮͙̞͎͇͙̯̗̹̪̰̝͋̾̂̍͒̒ͅͅķ̛͖͕̩̟͎̠̠̭̖̯̤̗̊ͤͫ̈́ͣͫͯͧ̕͡x̡͈̟͈̼̝͉̰̫̦̜̩͕̹͕͚̦̗̳́̈̿͑̈̍ͩ̊͆̒͌͗̇́͠? Like how long ago do you mean by 'a while ago'? If it is what I believe it is, then it is actually worrying.

>>1779420
Aight. Notorious goblin vampire assassin One-Eyed Scrooge, scout the castle and find the hunters party, we're going on the offensive

>>1779420
"Ah, right. And if this 'friend' of mine were to be in the eldritch realm while I'm in the mortal realm, how would I learn of said dealings if it were to be as perilous as that? How would I reach them to do such a thing?"
I pause in consideration.
"IF these 'friends' of mine were in the eldritch realm, any way I could contact, help, or find them? Would it require becoming in touch with God?"

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>>1779424
>>1779425
"Perhaps the Octahedron of Otherworldly pleasures"

>>1779435
"Like about last Thursday. Or was it a millenia ago? I forgot. Anyway, I remember Ä̷̢̹̩̦͖͚̥̫̠͎́̐̊ͤ͋͊ͫ̃͂̊͋'̶̸̨̛̼̤̦̞͕̘͍̪̭̌̂̈͊̆͋͑̊͑̒ͫ̑͑̓͆͘r̷̶̸̢͇̯͉͍̮͔̼̺̝͔̠̥͉͙̫̻͐̉ͧ͛̇̉͂̍̀͊̐͐̚͝ͅọ̻͚͖̖̹͚̗̬̥̟̳̗̫̼̊̋ͦ̔̄͗ͫ̐̂̓̀̕d͇̪̥̼͚͔̮͖̀̉̈́̑̐ͣ̌ͩ̀̕a̧̨̰̞̞̭̮͙̞͎͇͙̯̗̹̪̰̝͋̾̂̍͒̒ͅͅķ̛͖͕̩̟͎̠̠̭̖̯̤̗̊ͤͫ̈́ͣͫͯͧ̕͡x̡͈̟͈̼̝͉̰̫̦̜̩͕̹͕͚̦̗̳́̈̿͑̈̍ͩ̊͆̒͌͗̇́͠ going missing about the same time the Vampire Lord owning the castle you're in rise in power"

>>1779437
The Notorious goblin vampire assassin One-Eyed Scrooge accepts the missiona dn slinks into the shadows

>>1779439
"Of course. The Almighty's reach is wide, pray to him and he will aid you"

>>1779461
And what's the Octahedron of Otherworldly Alliterations do?

>>1779461
Whilst all this plot nonsense is happening, Oswell digs into one of his various pouches and produces a slightly stale sandwich to eat.

>>1779461
Start walking around the hallways of the castle with the whole gang while the goblin scouts

>>1779461
...I see. Do you have anything that you have that can help me out in fighting the vampires and finding out what happened to Ä̷̢̹̩̦͖͚̥̫̠͎́̐̊ͤ͋͊ͫ̃͂̊͋'̶̸̨̛̼̤̦̞͕̘͍̪̭̌̂̈͊̆͋͑̊͑̒ͫ̑͑̓͆͘r̷̶̸̢͇̯͉͍̮͔̼̺̝͔̠̥͉͙̫̻͐̉ͧ͛̇̉͂̍̀͊̐͐̚͝ͅọ̻͚͖̖̹͚̗̬̥̟̳̗̫̼̊̋ͦ̔̄͗ͫ̐̂̓̀̕d͇̪̥̼͚͔̮͖̀̉̈́̑̐ͣ̌ͩ̀̕a̧̨̰̞̞̭̮͙̞͎͇͙̯̗̹̪̰̝͋̾̂̍͒̒ͅͅķ̛͖͕̩̟͎̠̠̭̖̯̤̗̊ͤͫ̈́ͣͫͯͧ̕͡x̡͈̟͈̼̝́̈̿͑̈̍ͩ̊͆̒͌͗̇́͠?

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Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>1779464
It wikkraxlywaxcgs the wrasfaglixkarkxgox

>>1779465
Oswell roll 1d10 to not get food poisoning

>>1779466

>>1779481
Where's Whitebeard?

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>1779481
The sandwich begins to fight back

>>1779488

>>1779486
Right behind Bub. Bub's shield hid him from the camera

>>1779481
>>1779495
Ah. Do some cartwheels while walking

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>>1779495
Whooops

>>1779495
>>1779506
>>1779476

>>1779506
Begin wrestling the sandwich. Oswell's fucking hungry.

>>1779506
Do a bloodgurling screech to echo locate the hunters with our large ears

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Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>1779508
"Hmmmmmm...what can I give you I wonder"

>>1779511
BAH GAWD! IT'S THE VIRGIN ELBOW! AS GOD AS MAH WITNESS THE SANDWICH HAS BEEN BROKEN IN HALF!

>>1779513
Roll 1d10

>>1779461
>"Of course. The Almighty's reach is wide, pray to him and he will aid you"
"Sweet! I knew God, the Almighty, was capable of such a thing!" I say with glee.

I then take a moment to compose myself, and remember a tidbit.
"I forgot to mention earlier, I was the donor who donated all of my share of the party's gold and most of my gear or loot at the time to afford the upgraded Altar that you currently reside in."

"In case you're wondering, I did this because I felt this castle needed to become closer to the Almighty, and to ensure the salvation of the souls within. Especially that of my party after one of my former teammates betrayed us for a vampiric patron."
"I did this because I, as an amateur priest, felt I was insufficient to do so alone. That is why I seek aid from a professional such as yourself, and a monument to the Almighty in this endeavor to rid the land of eternal darkness, and ensure the sanctity of my allies’ spirits. That is why I beseech you now for support in this endeavor.”
I prostrate myself before Father Priest and the upgraded Altar to show how earnest my request is.

By the way, what’s the name of the Vampire Hunters’ religion?

>>1779540
That image of a sandwich being elbow slammed made my day.

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>1779540

>>1779540
A less limiting limiter is always nice, but it's really up to you to decide.

Also I didn't know Oswell was a wrestler, what's his show name?

>>1779540
>It wikkraxlywaxcgs the wrasfaglixkarkxgox
Does it turn into an axe?

>>1779556
It's a Pleasure Cube.

Maybe.

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>>1779554
"Hmmm...a less limiting limiter, yes. I think I can do that"

>>1779547
"Of course my son. I knew you've been waiting to get closer to the lord. I can tell from your genrous donation to the construction of this altar, and the fact that you're dressed up like a priest. Do not worry, I will guide you to be the best priest you can be for our religion: The Best Religion™. Other names you can also use is "The Holy Church of The Almighty", "Servants of his holiness" or "Pastiche for chrisitianity". Any is adequate"

>>1779553
Bob didn't find shit. Dang

>>1779578
Great one, does the pleasure cube turn into an axe? Can we try it out?

>>1779578
Triumphantly consume stale, crushed, moldy sandwich.

>>1779578
Try again but scream louder than any other living creature

>>1779578
Please do, and can you explain to Joseph what the Octahedron does in terms that a mortal can understand?

>>1779488
>>1779506
>>1779511
>>1779540
>BAH GAWD! IT'S THE VIRGIN ELBOW! AS GOD AS MAH WITNESS THE SANDWICH HAS BEEN BROKEN IN HALF!
>THE VIRGIN ELBOW!
>VIRGIN ELBOW!
Fucking kek.
>>1779548
Mine too, thanks you two.

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Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>1779586
https://youtu.be/PvvDj2fnKoQ?t=35

>>1779587
Roll 1d10

>>1779582
>>1779588
"Well, when it's activated it basically opens up a portal to the one of the deepest level of this dark realm, unleashing masive waves of eldritch energies from it, warping any space or creature in the area where the Octahedron was openned, transforming them into an extension of this realm. Filling the space with Eldritch pleasures"

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>1779633

>>1779633
So, the equivalent of one of those 'mini-nukes', except it is eldritch energies instead of radiation that's left behind? And what about the new limiter?

>>1779633
Ah, so would this affect Wilda's powers? If so, we'll take it

>>1779633
>that victorious pose
>music from the Rocky movie
This is beautiful.

>>1779633
>https://youtu.be/PvvDj2fnKoQ?t=35 [Embed]
Truly a milestone in Oswell's life.

>>1779657
Made even better by that fur coat he's wearing.

>>1779657
>>1779667
That coat was a worthwhile investment. Shame he'll still not get a gf.

>>1779667
The fur coat is pimpin', I can't lie.

>>1779673
You don't need one when you have the title of Oswell, Slayer of Sandwiches, Breaker of Bread Crusts.

I do need one.

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>>1779643
"I do not have enough power to fully help you regain your powers, but I have managed to remove some restrictions upon your transformation"

Wilda's true form can now be accessed after 2 threads instead of 3.
It also now has an aura of madness that has a chance to cause enemies to miss her or attack eachother

>>1779642
Sadly it still doesn't work and Bob is left wallowing in shame.