Thread replies: 35
Thread images: 17
Thread images: 17
Your name is ROSS FEATHERMANN, drinker, cook and adventurer. It's 8AM on a Monday morning and the city is waking up. How do you start your day?
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Explore a part of the city we don't usually go to.
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>>1775220
Head to work i guess
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>>1775225
>>1775223
Ah Greasemans, how you've come to hate working there. The boss always give you shit. I mean come on, it's too much to ask to not come to work hung over!
Hang on, why is there a queue?
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>>1775228
Are we late for work?
Wait, is it actually time for work or are we just drunk off our asses?
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>>1775236
You called in sick last night. Basically, never mix multiple types of drink and ride on a mechanical bull.
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>>1775242
Well shit. Time to see what the deal is, I guess.
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>>1775248
Some hooded weirdo is blocking the entrance to The Hairless Cat, a 3.5-star establishment for men. Youcan't really understand what the hooded weirdo is saying.
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>>1775253
Boop him,
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>>1775287
You boop the hooded weirdo. He(?) is not happy.
"EXCUSE ME! I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF ISSUING A COMPETITION! BOOP ME AGAIN AND I WILL SHOVE MY FIST UP YOUR ASS SO HARD I'D BE WEARING YOU LIKE AN ARMBAND!"
Geez.
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>>1775296
Listen to what he has to say about competition
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>>1775302
"I have, in my possession, a popular artist of the erotic arts. I shall present a series of challenges to narrow down the competition until only one remains. Also, runners up will receive alcohol ranging in quality and price depending on which position you came."
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>>1775313
Sure why not? Enter the competition
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>>1775353
The hooded weirdo hands you a ticket.
"First competition is in 2 hours, location on back of ticket."
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>>1775363
While going there, begin to plot the takeover of your country
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>>1775370
Ross. Buddy.
You cook burgers for a living and spend your check on food and drink. No way you'd have the budget to take over the world.
If you did though, you'd take control of all the big-name breweries as your first act of war.
AND THEN-
Wait hang on. The address is really hard to make out. You'll probably need a magnifying glass for this.
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>>1775410
Find an empty beer bottle. Basically the same thing as a magnifying glass, right?
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>>1775416
Warehouse 18, huh?
This should be fun.
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>>1775422
Is that a burger on the bottom right of the ticket? Anyhow, let's head to Warehouse 18. Fuck work.
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>>1775427
An hour later, you make it to Warehouse 18. Some other competitors are standing around; you make a mental note of each male hoping to get their dicks wet.
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>>1775431
Find a sink to preemptively wet dick.
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>>1775444
You got naked and sat in a hole in the ground, filled with water. The gnome just stares at you (you think it's hard to see eyes behind that beard and nose). The llaman is flexing by the wall, with fishbowl just...standing around.
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>>1775454
Plot to get rid of the Douchy one, befriend beef and Wat
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>>1775457
There's so many options for eliminating this guy. Gun? Chainsaw? Crudely-drawn alien parasite that lays eggs in unsuspecting hosts that later burst out of their ribcages?
What's certain is that he'll be the first to go down.
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On the flipside, you hit it off by the water cooler with your other two rivals.
Gnome is a garbage man who enjoys writing restaurant reviews in his spare time and Kevin James movies. Wat, on the other hand, works in accounting and is quite skilled in the art of black market surgery.
Definitely your kind of people.
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>>1775481
alright...wait for the contest I guess
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>>1775499
Another hour passes and the doors swing open. It looks dark and scary.
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>>1775506
Enter after everyone else
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>>1775509
"Only four of you? A shame."
The hooded weirdo stands before you in the darkness.
"Your first task will be a test of stamina. After all, what use is being with a woman of online erotica if you are easy to tire?"
You see Douchy smile smugly. How he can see anything is truly a mystery.
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The lights flick on. Before you stands an absurdly-tall basketball hoop.
"HE WHO CAN DUNK SHALL MAKE IT THROUGH! Only THREE of you shall proceed to the next trial, the loser winning a can of cheap beer. Like, toilet wine tastes better than this. Hell, fucking sewer water would taste better than that shit."
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Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>1775589
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Rolled 7 (1d20)
>>1775589
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>>1775589
Jump off of Douche to dunk it.
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GNOME! NOOOOOOOOOO! WHY MUST THE GOOD GET HIT BY BASKETBALLS?!
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That's gonna be all for today. Join us tomorrow(?) for Part 2!
Thread posts: 35
Thread images: 17
Thread images: 17