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You wake up one day in your bed.
An alarm clock is going off like crazy. You slam your fist down on it before even checking the time.
You get out of bed, you're only in your underwear.
You go to the calendar. Oh no! All the days have been erased and you remember your boss's birthday is sometime this week! If you don't show up on the right day, you're fired for sure!
DAY 1 -
What do?
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>>1737009
Commence daily exercise routine...
40 push-ups, 40 sit-ups, 40 squats, handstand for 40 seconds. Go!
>>
Just so you know, you live in a one-story house with a TV, bathroom, front yard, everything that you'd expect in a normal house. Unfortunately, all your clocks and calendars are horribly outdated thanks to Daylight Savings.
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>>1737021
You workout like crazy!
And then puke.
You don't exercise often.
How did that help?
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>>1737009
Shower, brush teeth, preen, pack a lunch, eat breakfast, go to work.
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>>1737009
Well first off, if I get fired for missing my boss' party that's bullshit. Second, just call one of your coworkers and ask.
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>>1737026
Okay- wait!
I can't go to work today! What if it's not my boss's birthday?
The surprise will be ruined! I must find out when it is before 7 days are over!
I look quite dapper, however.
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>>1737032
Egad! Someone has cut all my phone lines! The fiend!
Also, yeah, he's a bit of a self-centered douche, but he pays well.
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>>1737039
Do you have a computer? Do you have your co-worker's email addresses?
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>>1737047
I do have a computer!
Lemme just open my email...
Wait a minute, what are these pills doing right next to my computer? What do I do with them?
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>>1737051
Read the label on the pills...
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>>1737055
Hm...
The label's been ripped off (I think I did it this time) and been replaced with "TAKE THESE IF BAD DAY" written with a sharpie.
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>>1737057
> Put pills down
We don't take unlabeled pills...
...
> Use Computer
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>>1737057
Check your boss's facebook.
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>>1737066
Good call.
Time to use my computer!
Aw fuck, some bastard deleted my save states!
Anywho, I send an email to one of my co-workers asking what day my boss's birthday party is.
...
...
Great, now I gotta wait.
What do in the meantime?
>>1737069
It's private. There was an incident about a stalker and yyyeah, I'd rather not remember it.
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>>1737072
Start a /qst/ thread on 4chan where the protagonist is in the same situation you are in, needing to find out their boss's birthday. Steal all of the poster's ideas and pretend it's fictional.
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>>1737077
That's a bit convoluted, wouldn't you think?
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>>1737078
then just go on /b/ and hope the shitposts only last an hour before the actual advice comes in.
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>>1737098
I'd just go to /adv/
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>>1737121
Drink some water. You need to hydrate yourself after all that exercise.
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>>1737130
I try drinking some water. The fuck? It's been spiked!
Good night....
Zzzzz....
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>>1737146
woah wat
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A Quest was dropped off the board to make room for this...
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DAY 2 -
I wake up and see a pink elephant in front of me.
Oh fuck, what do I do now? I heard the pink ones are especially aggressive!
Wait, what?
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>>1737188
so? Half the time they die first thread anyway. If it got dropped off and wasn't archived then who gives a shit.
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>>1737195
Spread out your arms to make your body appear as large as possible, make eye contact, and give a firm, but polite handshake.
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>>1737231
I do just that. However, the handshake passes right through the elephant! Is it even real?
Oh fuck, it's a bad trip.
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>>1737236
It wasn't real?!
shock.jpg
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>>1737239
How long was I even tripping?
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>>1737244
Perhaps the entire experience was just a bad trip. Do we even have a job?
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>>1737255
Nah, we've just been sitting in a box the whole time, coked out our minds, and jerking it to the jazz music coming from the club across the street
>>
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>>1737261
Should probably just quit.
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>>1737290
I can't! This job pays handsomely!
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>>1737313
Well clearly if his birthday is the 7th day then we will know it the 7th day. So it cannot be the 7th day.
Thus when we reach the 6th day, knowing it cannot be the 7th day, we will know that his birthday is the 6th day.
So if we reach day number 5 and his birthday has still not occurred, since it cannot be days number 6 or 7, by process of elimination we will then know his birthday to be the that very day.
An inductive argument applies, and it can easily be shown that the boss's birthday cannot be any one of the seven days!
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>>1737317
It might be the drugs talking, but that makes no fucking sense.
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>>1737331
Take more pills until it makes sense...
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>>1737340
What? Uh, okay
I take more and more pills
OVERDOSE!
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>>1737345
U ded
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>>1737346
DAY 3 -
I wake up in a hospital.
Ugh...
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>>1737350
More pills
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>>1737363
I can't. The nurses won't let me.
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>>1737368
See if any of them know when your boss's birthday is!
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>>1737406
I try opening my mouth, but only gibberish comes out. Shouldn't have overdosed.
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>>1737423
You must convey your message through the use of American Sign Language and Interpretive Dance!
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>>1737432
That... actually seems plausible.
I get up from my bed and do an interpretive dance while doing the best sign language an overdosed man can do.
Unfortunately, the nurses think I'm having a seizure.
I'll have to use just sign language
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>>1737438
The pain is unbearable! Nurse More pills!
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>>1737440
Are you trying to kill me?
Ow, but the pain is unbearable, yes.
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>>1737443
You mean kill me? Who are you?
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>>1737491
Let's keep the mindfucks to a minimum please.
I try sign language again; and my nervous system is healing slowly, so I can make actual sentences this time. Unfortunately, nobody knows.
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Need to go. Dubs is the next questholder.
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>>1737576
check them
Thread posts: 52
Thread images: 3
Thread images: 3