You Awake in Westeros

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>1708519
Hot damn, this a reboot?

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>1708519

Here we go...

One last roll and we are on.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>1708519

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>>1708614
>14

Tumbling through the heavy branches and snow peppered foliage, you feel a distinct feeling of Deja Vu pass through you as you slam into the surprisingly not concrete ground.

Solid landing, but no significant damage beyond a few scratches and a distinct lack of any air in your lungs. You take a few moments to recover, finally a respite after going through whatever the FUCK that was just now...

Cold.

You're fucking freezing.

You're laying naked in the middle of a snowed in forest, your body is already beginning to shut right down.

You need to do something quickly, you struggle to your feet and look around and you see:

>Broken branch pieces
>Snow, yup.
>A vague clearing through the trees.

What do you do?

>Write ins encouraged.

>>1708635
>Look for stones and wood to make an axe with

>>1708635
Look for a house

>>1708635
Go to the clearing

>>1708662

I doubt our NEET skills involve fire-making. Much less fire-making in these kinds of conditions...

...

> Go to clearing

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>>1708662
>>1708651
>>1708642
>>1708673

Casting a furious glance around your splash down zone, you check if there's anything of any use to you nearby.

1x Hefty Wooden Branch
1x Small Stone

You get your increasingly weaker body moving and head towards the clearing you thought you saw, turns out you're stupid because it's a road. You've been next to a non-frozen road for the past 20 minutes and you've just been sitting here getting your toes frostbitten off.

You launch yourself onto the (admitedtly still fucking freezing) road and just head off in a random direction, you need fire. Fast. Or you're going to lose something more than your temper at your own stupidity.

roll 1d100 to see if you keep all your toes, DC is hidden.

Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>1708676

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>1708676

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>1708676

>>1708685
Good roll anon

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>1708676

...

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>>1708685
>91
>DC 90 to not suffer any permanent damage

Good job.

As you begin to meander towards nothingness, you feel an increased vigor stir inside of you.

You're not a weak disgusting piece of shit who's going to take this laying down and die, anybody is capable of those amazing things that your Heroes always did in your favorite RPGs. It's all about WILL.

You haul ass, pick up the pace to a jog and actually feel (warm).

You are laughing, naked, and running towards nothing. Spectacular.

--

"What a fucking stupid cunt." says Mila to her sister Keri, "Does he intend to flap his frozen little cock around like that until he dies from the frost?" Keri laughs, "I don't know.. But don't you think we should tell father? He's clearly insane and needs help..." "Eh, you tell him. I want to see how much farther he can go before he drops" Mila replies "Fine" says Keri dashing out down a familiarly trodden path back to their 'house'.

--

You are WILL, You are POWER, You are incapable of feeling your lower body, You fall over. You're asleep.

--

You wake up baked in warmth with the smell of ((((something)))) penetrating your desperately hungry nose. Looking up from your makeshift bed you see a grizzled lanky man looking over you with a dagger, you instinctively pull the hide-blanket closer.

"What's a boy like you doing running naked 'round these parts? Lucky you didn't lose your legs out there, a bloody miracle. You'd be dead if my girls didn't catch you!"

What do you do?

"Are you a waifu"

Furtively touch self under covers

>>1708710
Thank the man for saving us, ask where are we.

>>1708716

Supporting this...

>>1708676
"I was just out for a walk, then I got robbed, they took all my clothes."

Which one of you faggots wants to be Velo this time?

>>1708737
We're all Velo

>>1708743
goddamn right we are you fucking meme vulture

>>1708725
this

>>1708737
the fucks a velo?

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>>1708716
>>1708723

"I'm sorry about my actions, Thank you so much for saving me. Where am I exactly?"

"How is it you don't know where you are at all?" He snaps

"It's hard to explain... I had a fall and don't remember anything!" you lie

"Nasty unreliable thing those heads of ours are aye? My uncle Dolin took a fall and went stark raving mad, wouldn't stop drooling until we put him out of his misery... ah... Well boy, you're about 30 miles from Torrhen's Square, towards Winterfell way."

Deciding you can't hold out on asking any longer you gasp "CanIpleasehavesome of whatever that glorious smell is?"

The old man smiles a ghastly smile, "Sure boy, sure."

"KERI!, Bring some of that slop in for the boy!"

You feel uncomfortable.


What do you do?

>Investigate the 'house'
>Attempt to steal?
>Attempt to seduce?
>Eat and Leave?
>Something else?

>>1708764
>>Attempt to seduce?

>>1708764
>>Eat and Leave?

We're fucking that sister of eddard stark not some trash village peasant

>>1708764
Attempt to seduce

>>1708764
>Eat and Leave?

>>1708779
>>1708776
>>1708775
>>1708770
Tied

>>1708810
>seduce

>>1708764

> Eat and Leave?

>>1708810
Seduce the bitch

>>1708810
>Eat and Leave?

>>1708831
>>1708837
Why don't you want to get some fresh pussy

>>1708844
any port in a storm isnt good enough. the dock has to be serviceable first. this is a plank stuck out in the water. no.

>>1708810
Eat and leaves have it.

--

Thanking the man and his girls profusely, you insist on leaving as soon as possible. They don't have much but some tattered clothes a dilapidated carry bag, a crude knife and some bread is the least they said they could give you before rightly letting you venture out.

1x Heavy Tattered cloth shirt
1x Heavy Tattered cloth leggings
1x Tattered cloth 'shoes'
1x Ratty carry bag
1x Crude Iron Knife 2d3


You're on the road to either Winterfell or Torrhen's Square now, with barely any supplies and no friends or pussy.

What do you do now genius?

>Go back inside and beg for assistance, claim to be retarded.
>Venture forward on the road, they said something about neighbors..
>Wait in the bushes to ambush a passing traveler!
>Other?

>>1708861
>>Venture forward on the road, they said something about neighbors.
Go to Torrhen's Square

>>1708857
This is virgin pussy. We are a Neet so we need to have some on our belt.

>>1708861
I need my pussy sooner than later.
>Wait in the bushes to ambush

>>1708871

>Wait in the bushes to ambush

What could possibly go wrong?

>>1708874
The worst is we get killed like a bitch. Best thing is we get some coin and pussy from it.

>>1708871
>>1708874
Whelp.

Roll a 1d100 to see how successful your ambush is.

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>1708884

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>1708884

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>1708884

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>1708884

...

>>1708891
>>1708889
>>1708893
FUCKING HELL
>79
>80
>81

>>1708897

We found a whore that shits gold?

>>1708897
We getting pussy tonight

>>1708893
You crouch in waiting, your hiding spot perfect. Your plan perfect. Everything is perfect.

You hear the target approaching, a beautiful caravan, simply regal looking. You hear the giggling of women from inside, now's your chance!

>Are you sure you want to burst in to the caravan and ambush the inhabitants?

>Yes
>No

>>1708916
>Yes
Get our knife ready.

>>1708916
>No

>>1708916
>Yes
All that noble pussy that belongs to us.

>>1708916
>Yes

>>1708916
>Yes

>>1708916

> Yes

Can we name our protagonist Adolf Hitler, Trick? I remember you saying that was a perfectly valid name for a quest mc. Should be no problem right?

>>1708919
>>1708922
>>1708924
>>1708928
>>1708929
>>1708933

FUCK IT you internally scream.

Readying your pathetic dagger, you launch yourself through the miraculously open window of the caravan, the driver and guards somehow completely missing your entrance.

As your eyes adjust to the inside of the little moving box, you notice something incredibly strange.

You accidentally kicked a womans head into another womans head, leaving them both unconscious.

In between them is Tyrion Lannister, and you just nigh-killed 2 of his favorite and current whores.

Tyrion is disrobed.

>What do you do?

>>1708942
Dwarf dick is worth money in essos! cut it off and sell it later!

>>1708942

Uhh...

Can't give him time to think gotta be unpredictable...

> Fellate Tyrion Lannister

>>1708942
> observe, is it really not to scale?
> stab to death and steal wallet
Hopefully we can stealth it of here too.

>>1708948
Supporting to cut off the dick and beat him up as well

>>1708942
>Kill him and take his money

>>1708942
Take his coin and his life

Rolled 68 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>1708963
>>1708956
>>1708953
>>1708952
>>1708948
Whelp. This is going to have repercussions.

Roll a 1d100 to see if we manage to hit!

Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>1708971

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>1708971

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>1708971

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>1708971

...

>>1708976
Tyrion is a big old pussy.

>>1708976
92! Success

"DWARF DICK WORTH MONEY MONEY" You whisper manically as you slash at the imps cock, making contact with his thigh instead as he leaps backwards. The cut is deep and oozing.

"Wait! WAIT! If it's money you want I can give you more than you'd ever get from selling my cock! We can come to an arrangement!" he gasps, pulling a gigantic sack of gold practically the size of himself seemingly out of nowhere.

>Continue SLASHING
>Listen to the Imp, he could be useful.
>Brutally kill him and wear his skin
>Take the gold and flee

>>1708999
>Brutally kill him and wear his skin

yes, then we inherit his dwarf magic!

>>1708999

> Brutally kill him and wear his skin

Well...

This is the only reasonable option...

>>1708999
>>Take the gold and flee
Sorry mate. We say as we take a horse and run away.

>>1708999
We need the money to get all that pussy.
>>1708999
>Take gold and flee.

>>1708999
>Listen to Imp

>>1708999
> continue slashing
We are a nobody, if we get out of this situation without the guards catching us there is only one witness who can identify us. And now is our chance to get rid of him.

>>1708999
>>Take the gold and flee
Forget my face or i'll fucking kill you!

>>1709016
Here a idea, buy armor and weapons with the gold, and never take off our helm if we were meeting with this guy ever again.

No dwarf-skin suit...

Lame...

>>1709017
>>1709009
>>1709005
Sizing up the Dwarf, you whisper "Your life was forfeit to me today Dwarf and you have bought your freedom. I only hope you can do so again, only you may need a larger bag of gold for the next man."

Grabbing the gold and kicking Tyrion in the face into unconsciousness, you plan your next move!

>Jump back out the window!
>Look for clothes, attempt to walk out incognito.
>Leap out and steal a horse!
>Try and hide somewhere!
>Other?

>>1709038
>Leap out and steal a horse!
The Dwarf will only have small size clothes for us.

>>1709038
attempt to walk out incognito.

just walk the fuck on out with the gold. we cool.

>>1709038
>>Look for clothes, attempt to walk out incognito.
im sure those hookers had something our size

>>1709038
>Look for clothes, attempt to walk out incognito

>>1709066
>>1709061
>>1709051

Roll 1d100 for search and another 1d100 for stealthing away.

2d100

Rolled 61, 23 = 84 (2d100)

>>1709072
Are we in a dress now?

Rolled 78, 5 = 83 (2d100)

>>1709072

...

Rolled 83, 15 = 98 (2d100)

>>1709072

Rolled 25, 64 = 89 (2d100)

>>1709072

Rolled 97, 40 = 137 (2d100)

>>1709072

Whoops. Looks like we've got some explaining to do!

>>1709089

Maybe OP will roll very poorly...

>>1709089
goddammit lucy

>>1709072
The good news? You found a guards uniform that hides you perfectly.

The bad news? You're hauling a gigantic sack of coins with nowhere to hide it and well, the guards know there shouldn't be another guard.

You make it maybe 20 steps from the caravan before 2 guards round on you yelling:

"HEY, STOP RIGHT THERE!"

What do you do?

>Bribe
>Bluff
>Run
>Fight
>Seduce
>Other

>>1709119
>>Bribe
Even a few gold coins will be like a yearly pay for the guards.

>>1709119

Seduce?

Seduce.

> Seduce

>>1709119
>Bribe
Surely they can turn a blind eye for a few coins?

>>1709119
>Seduce

hell yes seduce.

>>1709119
>Bribe

>>1709119
>Bribes
Greed stop anyone in their tracks

>>1709135
>>1709124
>>1709144
>>1709151


You brutalized a Lannister. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together will know they can get more money if they haul our hide back to King's Landing...

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>1709124
>>1709128
>>1709135
>>1709139
>>1709144
4 Bribe
2 Seduce

The bribes have it.

--

"Listen guys, I know you have a duty and all.. but 15 Gold dragons each says you never saw me at all. Deal?"

Rolling for the guards loyalty to Tyrion.

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>1709156

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>1709156

Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>1709156

...

>>1709156
Loyal enough to know that they could get rewarded for your capture, but just disloyal enough to take a bribe.

"Make it 100 each and you've got a deal" says the fatter one

Pay them?

Y/N

>Pouch: 3540 gold dragons.

>>1709167
>Yes

>>1709167
>Y

>>1709167
yup pay em.

>>1709167

> Give them 200 dragons each instead

>>1709167
>Y
Too late to back out now you pussies.

Who are you and what did you do with OP?

>>1709167
Yes, its not that much.

>>1709167
Yes

>>1709178
>>1709177
>>1709174
>>1709172
>>1709171
Same OP, just too tired to bother constantly switching trips between threads.

Paying them is a clear winner.

--

You throw multiple fistfuls of gold towards both of them, easily 300 gold dragons and make your retreat down the road. You're going to need a better way to hide all of this fucking money!

--

I'm going to have to call a break here guys, I have a lot of shit do do that I've been putting off.

I'll be back within 60-120 minutes depending.

Hope you're enjoying so far, any questions?

>>1709189
I'm enjoying so far. Just why we didn't get to choice were we can start. Since starting in the North is retarded if we don't have clothes.

>>1709210
were you here for the original one? thats why. this is what, the third incarnation?

>>1709231
Well first it was Velo, he had a quest going we started in the Reach and become personal guard of the princess or noble someone from the show.
Then it was showed it was being railroaded by Velo posting as a anon, he came back for a bit, to do the King's Landing games, than stop after we got hurt.

Trick was a vulture and started a new thread of the same thing in Velo thread, and it was fun but it became real started getting cancerous, it was just all the people on the discord wanking each other.

Trick also made a Other quest in Anonkun but that was much more cancerous, and it was about a people in real life.

So this is like the third incarnation, since the one in Anonkun was a spin off.

>>1709261
ah, i didnt remember the one on anonkun.

>>1709271
The one in Anonkun we just fuck animals and rape men and women and even animals.

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>>1709189
>Sorry that my break took so long, life is terrible.

--

Venturing past establishments that reek of what you can only describe of as 'Craven assboot', you eventually find an almost respectable looking Inn. Warily making your way inside, you suddenly realize you're in the poor North wearing Lannister armor skulking around with a huge sack of gold.

As you enter, a rough duo of men look up at you from a corner. There's at least 2 men asleep with a mug of ale at their side, and an entirely out of place flame priest sitting with his back to you, The middle-aged MILF Innkeep smiles compellingly, urging you inside close to the hearth. "Welcome traveler, ...hmm.. far from home aren't we?" she smiles at you with her hands on her hips.

Action:

>Talk to the Innkeep
>Trade for items..
>Rent a room upstairs..
>Buy all the food!
>Other?

>>1712011
>Talk to the Innkeep

>>1712011
>Talk with barkeep
We're getting pussy tonight

>>1712011
Also get us a drink and food

>>1712011
>>Talk to the Innkeep

>>1712011
>Trade for items

>>1712011
"I...uh suppose so... Can I get some food and water please?"

"Names Leann, just water? Sure thing hon" she smiles sweetly, seemingly walking into the backroom where such things are kept.

"T-thanks.. " you manage to mumble, you've been whipped up into such a gigantic frenzy of action you haven't had time to sit down and actually think.


think..
think.

You're in Westeros.
You're in a Book.
You.
YOU'RE IN A FUCKING BOOK
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
HOW
WHY

You're a pudgy nerd who posts on /tg/ and reads fantasy books, what the FUCK is this? Is this some deities idea of a practical joke? You can fucking DIE, this entire universe is just one big giant fucking death trap, what the fuck are you going to -

Quick, roll a 1d100 to see if you can quell this anxiety attack.

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>1712053
Worst thing could have happened

Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>1712053

Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>1712053

>>1712057
I don't want this to be some crazy Mills quest where all we do is skin dwarves and rape animals.

Bby pls

>>1712071
>I don't want this to be some crazy Mills quest where all we do is skin dwarves and rape animals.

I with you with that regard OP. You don't have to worry about this anon.

>>1712063
>>1712053
>Roll: 77
>DC: 70
>Success

Gaining control over your breathing, you tame your thought process and reaffirm that you are in control and everything is going to be fine - just like the counselor taught you.

You're in ASOIAF, that's your reality now and you're going to have to figure out why you're here - or find some way to live comfortably and frankly, you think you're off to a good start on that.

+1 Willpower, +3b to Will rolls

"Here you go darlin" Leann hands you a bowl of stew and a hunk of bread, placing a mug of water next to you. "What is a Lannister guard doing all the way out here alone?"

>Lie
>Truth
>Talk about something else
>Rent a room upstairs.
>Ask to trade
>Brush her off, talk to the priest.
>Brush her off, talk to the rough duo.
>Seduce

>>1712098
>>Seduce

>>1712098
>Brush her off
>Rent a room upstairs.
I'm not going for the bait

>>1712098
>seduce to get a room upstairs

>>1712098
>Rent a room upstairs

>>1712107
>>1712105
>>1712103
>>1712101
2 Seduce
2 Rent

>>1712113
Seduce worth a shot

>>1712116
>>1712105
>>1712101
Oh boy...

Roll 1d100 to Seduce.

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>1712118

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>1712118

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>1712118
How about adding a gold to it?

>>1712126
>68..

Oh...

Roll me a 1d100 perception check.

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>1712131
OP do you have something for currency so we know how much things cost?

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>1712131

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>1712131

>>1712138
>Roll: 75
>DC: 70

"So what's a hottie like you doing in a dump like this??" you blunder out, failing horribly to seem charming or even remotely likable. "Uhhh, a what? In a what?" she replies, Your face is flushed crimson, you're sweating, you panic "It's uh, nothing, sorry, I think I'll g-go" standing quickly you notice something, a flash of steel!

Leanns loving motherly face twists into a bloodthirsty snarl, lunging at you with a long dagger! "GIVE ME THAT GOLD YOU WORTHLESS LANNISTER SCUM!" she screams.

What do you do?

>Bribe someone to help you.
>Fight back!
>Run away!
>Seduce

>>1712163
>>Run away!
Time to get out of here. To the shops! we need to buy some weapons.

>>1712163
>Run and take out our blade

>>1712163
>Run Away!

>>1712163
>>Run away!

>>1712166
>>1712168
>>1712171
This isn't even a town, there's no blacksmith

You throw yourself backwards from this crazy bitches lunge attack, scrambling to recover your Dragons and flee! Multiple people dive down onto the floor trying to loot some that have spilled out, creating the perfect cover for you to run outside.

You frantically look around for something to aid you, a house to hide in, a guard to save you.. you see it! just a few yards up you see 2 horses stabled up.

>Steal one and get out of here!
>Look around for something else..
>Flee on foot!

>Steal one and get out of here!
Drop some coins so the owner will get some coin at least. 5 Gold or so

>>1712184
>>1712181
This

>>1712181
>Steal one

>>1712188
>>1712187
>>1712184
You are a NEET who has never ridden a horse before, let's see how horribly this goes wrong.

Roll a 1d100 to see how much this horse fucks up your shit.

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>1712193

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>1712193

>>1712197
3 more and I would've changed the characters race to Dothraki, a shame.

I've been awake for 48 hours now, I'm spent.

I'll be back in 8-10 hours to post at a refreshed rate and in much more detail. OP out.

>>1712199
>97
At least we are a great horse rider even if we didn't touch a horse in our life.

>>1712181
Looks like you had a bit of a trip problem there pal... Not that I would know what it's like to have one.

Fuck the north. The people here are savages. We should build a wall at the neck and leave them to their long night.

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>1712193

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>this quest

>>1714238
Sad right?