Vampire Hunter adventure thing, part 19

>>1706743
Buy that shield and cleaver upgrade

>>1706743
Check our inventory for a moment, to see what we have on ourselves that we can sell back to the Merchant. Also paint the golem core purple and green.

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>>1706757
Confirm?

>>1706768
>>1706772
After we check what we can pawn off first and stuff.

>>1706772
Confirm

So can I have a body now?

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>>1706780
Ka ching

>>1706779
Turns out...the hunters don't have much to pawn off. There's that random sword they found, the mishapen skull, piles of weird meat and some doll parts.

>>1706795
Give us the choice of bodies again, OP

>>1706795
...What about the Golem's large sword that he got a few threads ago?

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>>1706816
"What, you wanna sell this huuuuuge sword? What if the golem wants to use it again or something?"

>>1706836
I mean, how much gold could we get for it, Merchant?
It's not like he uses it with just that golem core, right?

>>1706836
Bing bing. Please dont.

>>1706851
oh you are here. I'm out for a hour, please get us a body, hopefully Hammerer with cannon on shoulder.
You may install additional speakers.

>>1706857
Yay

>>1706836
I mean, if we are going to give him a Hammerer chassis, a sword wouldn't really fit his specs. But before we sell it, how much would it give us in gold?

>>1706851
Considering that you were the one who blew the original body up, you don't really have a say in what we do with your former gear.

>>1706866
Not like it was on purpose. And OP would have dicked someone else anyway if no one said the magic words

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>>1706846
>>1706866
"Well, this sword is used...and the fact I was the one who gave you it in the first place when I gave you the reward chest...about 3 gold. The random generic sword you found is 1. The skull is also 1 gold. The pile of weird meat is worthless to me, but I'm willing to take it off your hands if you bundle it with the doll parts that I'll buy for about...4 gold

>>1706885
Greetings

>>1706885
We could attatch it to my new body's arm. For stabbings.

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>>1706889

>>1706885
Oh yeah, let's sell it then

>>1706904
How do you do, my fellow hunters?

>>1706904
Hey Merchant, any special deals for Rob? We haven't had him in the party for a while

>>1706885
How much can we sell back the screaming head and gagging mask for, as well? And what about this hat I have on top of my top hat that I totally didn't steal from Oswell?

>>1706905
Awe man

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>>1706913
>>1706914
"Really now? You're part of the hunter team?"

"Never seen you with them before"

>>1706925
"The hat is worthless, and the screaming head is inside Oswell's inventory cavity right now, ou can't retrieve it"

>>1706937
Well, it is a tradition to remove the mask of any new hunters that we discover, like with Broseph, so wouldn't you mind removing the mask you have on?

>>1706937
Hey, cut him some slack
He's cool with us, Broseph

>>1706937
Of course, I've just gone solo for the most part. Exploring the upper floors is more difficult, thus I will join the main party

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>>1706948
"Indeed"

"Sounds reasonable"

"So take that off, wouldn't you"

>>1706965
Very well. I must warn you though, I'm quite hideous

Take off mask

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>>1706970
"Now that's a vampbeast"

"Indeed that's a vampbeast"

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i'm still here

>>1706975
Put him out of misery already.

>>1706975
That's my face. Rude.

>>1706977
cool beans

>>1706977
>>1706975
holy fucking shit that's an awesome drawing of wilda

>>1706975
So... Should we do something about this? Set him on fire? Read him the holy book?

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>>1706982
"Your face is looking particularly unholy"

"Yes. Are you realllly a hunter?"

>>1706977
OH yeah, there's also the stipulation that art gets boons. So which character am I suppose to give an equip to fer this?

>>1706998
My face was burned off in an accident years ago. I had the face of a slain enemy stitched in its place

>>1706998
>>1706977
My vote is for Wilda, but the poster can give it to whoever

>>1707002
That sounds pretty unholy dude. Look, walk into the chapel, put a hand on the altar.

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>>1707002
"Then how do you explain the wings and the claws"

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>>1706977
Didn't know that my mild bullying and the likes ended up giving me fanart, buuuut you missed a lil' detail.

>>1706998
>>1707009
I second what Joseph said, since that anon must be a fan of me to some degree if he decided to draw me instead of one of the other hunters.

>>1707014
Accessory items

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>>1707021
"Take them off them"

So strange that Joseph isn't giving some support to his "pal" right now

>>1707032
They shouldn't be taken off, it would hurt

>>1707032
They're attached with bolts. Can't take them off too easily

>>1707032
>>1707042
4u? I say they should be taken off, if they are just 'accessories' and the likes.

>>1707032
I guess no one else has noted the quiet "give them till the count of five?"

>>1707059
Oh. Well, RIP in pieces 'Rob'.

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>>1707042
>>1707046
"Really now"

"Rob" is about to be knocked the fuck out if someone doesn't stop Broseph

>>1707070
I ain't intercepting that shit nigga

>>1707070
Rob dug his own hole

>>1707070
Give me one good reason as to why I should help out "Rob" instead of getting popcorn to watch him get knocked into next week?

>>1707070
Please don't do it

>>1707101
Shit, that popcorn got butter or fancy spices and stuff?

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>>1707075
Surely Joseph would have realized that he shoulda stopped her brother before the zero count.

And surely Bob/Rob would have realized going right into the midst of a bunch of hunters was a bad idea.

Broseph drives his fist straight into "Rob" 's body. Crushing a few ribs and rupturing his insides.

"Rob" is now KO and affected with heavy internal bleeding.

>>1707125
SO! Who's up for a good, old fashioned stake burning? I can light it myself with shining finger.

>>1707125
Way too late to help Bob now

>>1707125
...Say, since he's now knocked out, can I take back some stuff that he stole from me? Afterwards we can just throw him out the clocktower and get back to buying some gear.

>>1707117
I prefer it salted by the cries of the damned, to be honest.

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>>1707135
>>1707140
>>1707147
So now, what to do with Bob?

>>1707165
Since you've already got a eldrich abomination in your group I don't see how Bob would be any worse. But sure, just him out of his misery. All that he loved or cared about is dead

>>1707165
Tell the others I'll bring him outside to finish the job

>>1707165
Loot him to get gold and the likes, and to get back our stuff. After we did that, we can throw him out the clocktower so that we can encounter him again, after he regenerated his loot to be looted again.

>>1707165
Meh, I'm good with whatever. Grab his stuff and shove him out the clocktower like Mark did. It would be poetic or something.

>>1707147
Hmm... Freshly salted popcorn. And since it's from the dried, salty tears of the vampires it's probably kosher too or shit.

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>>1707181
Joseph proposes to personally take Bob out back and shove an Exe right into his skull.

Will the others concede?

>>1707202
...After I take his stuff, like his helmet, drugs, gold, mace that he stole from me, all that kinda stuff.

>>1707202
>exe
He's gonna shove the robot ai core into his skull? Fuck is that gonna do? Will he hijack the body?

>>1707202
press X for TRUTH, boss

>>1707211
I dunno, probably

>>1707211
>>1707221
It'll save us some money, at least. I still want to take the stuff he has on him before that, however.

>>1707225
No matter what we do, we should loot him, yeah

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Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>1707220
Roll 1d10 to convince the others to agree with you

Anybody who doubts Joseph's intentions, roll 1d10 to attempt to not be convinced

>>1707239
What if we don't care what his intentions are but just want Bob's stuff?

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>1707239
Come on guys, Rob isn't that bad of a guy

>>1707246
Then roll to take Bob's stuff

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>1707239
>>1707246
What Jon is saying. Joseph could go and have sex with the vampire, and while it would basically be heresy, we want the loot that he has first.

>>1707253

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>1707253
Ay boss

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>1707239

Murder that fucker
He isn't a hunter
I have records and proof

>>1707264
I'd tell you to roll, but without a body that is kind of an issue. We're working on it. On the bright side, the remote is pointless now.

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>>1707248
SOMEHOW

Joseph managed to convince eveyone to let him drag Bob outside to do whatever, possibly anal molestation, without any harm done to Bob, even looting.

Yes, Joseph somehow managed to convince everyone NOT to loot Bob before dragging him outside

>>1707286
...what was his reasoning?

>>1707286
Joseph is fucking traitor
>>1707288
Rob is his gay buddy

>>1707286
Let the boy have his fun. his weird violent fun

Question:
>>1704744
Can I still get the fur coat?

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>>1707294
"Sure, offer's still on the table"

>>1707300
"Sweet"
Hands over gold. Flutters furs in a twirl onto his shoulders. "Winter ... It's a season"

>>1707286
Well, I'm convinced that Joseph is gone kill Rob. So, about that shopping... How much were those armor plates again?

>>1707286
>>1707294
>>1707292
>>1707300
Tell Bob to go home now, but he owes me a favor

>>1707307
Did we get the golem back yet?

>>1707307
Joseph, my life has lost all meaning. Put me out of my misery, please

>>1707323
>>1707300
Why don't you join our team, Bob? There must be a way to turn you back into a human

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>>1707305
37 Gold left in party

>>1707307
>>1707323
Clearly Bob has forgotten about the episode 2 threads ago where Mark simself appeared before Bob to give him 3 level ups and instructed him to recruit other vampbeasts to enact vengeance agaisnt the hunters

So go ahead and chop his head off

>>1707306
" 5 Gold a plate, each plate adds 4 HP"

>>1707321
Nooo

>>1707323
>>1707329
This is like old yeller but dumber

>>1707333
Would anyone care if I got two armor plates? Or are we spending the rest on the golem body?

>>1707333
>>1707323
Well OP
Let's give Bob a peaceful death
DECAPITATIOOOOOOOON

>>1707329
>>1707333
If you know a way to do it then lemme know. Revenge is not the way

>>1707336
Don't worry, I do not care if you get 2 armor plates.

>>1707333
>So go ahead and chop his head off
DO IIIIIT

can I have bob's skull to put it on hammerer's chest?

>>1707333
Right

Lets buy the Hammerer. Which is what we agreed to last thread? before all the time lines. Hunters agree?

>>1704364

>>1707333
I'll take one of the metal plates, with the Silver Membership Card discount to get it at 4 gold. What other options do you have for me, anyway?

>>1707338
Bob, stop trying to get yourself killed. Level yourself up and get back to harassing us like a good rival.

>>1707345
>>1707350
Guess I'll nab the two armor plates and that will leave us with 3 gold.

Sure we don't want the slightly stronger model for two more gold pieces for the golem?

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>>1707338
"Revenge is totes the wayyyy. I didn't escape the clutches of demons to give you some power ups just so you can go and kill yourself, Booooob. I know that by extending the O part of your name it sounds kinda like I'm saying Boob but that's not important right now. Point is don't kill yourself" says Mark's disembodied spirit head

>>1707355
I mean, the AI core seems to want the Hammerer chassis. It's what it wants.

>>1707355
Golem told us dual wielding was gay. so we skipped that option

>>1707350
No

>>1707359
>>1707361
Well that's his loss then.

>>1707358
>>1707362
If Bob really wants to die, then let's get ready for the classic headsman execution, OP.
I don't want a friend to suffer

>>1707358
Existance is suffering, master. I'll join you in hell

>>1707362
Stop being a whiner because you got found out to be a vampire. You'll piss off the people who actually want to continue playing as Bob.

>>1707369
I'm the OG Bob. This shit got old after the enemy party size doubled

>>1707373
That's why you got the level ups, so that the odds are evened out. Don't make me swap characters just to save your "WOE IS ME" ass.

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>>1707368
"Psh, fine. It's your unlife. But still I gotta try to stop the hunters somehow. Guess I'll be giving powers to the bat sidekick then"

>>1707355
>>1707350
So confirm in buying the plates?

That'll leave the part with 23 gold.

>>1707380
Yeah, confirm

>>1707373
>>1707368
I'M GETTING WELCOMING PARTY READY

Rolled 5 (1d15)

>>1707380
Rolling, OP. Bob can roll if he wants

>>1707378
That aint enough to go 1v6. After master Mark died all the remaining fun of being the only player with NPCs ended

>>1707380
>>1707385
can we use rest money for new golem already?

>>1707386
Shut up you, you were always the worst brother. Gar this, Gar that, swordswordswords. At least they shut up about you now, so can you now shut up too?

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>1707380
Yeah, confirm it.

>>1707390
Are you thick? You have a new master to follow, the one who makes the dolls and shit. Stop trying to kill yourself.

>>1707388
Rolling to see if Joseph miss and hit himself in the dick.

>>1707404
Walter can't replace master Mark

>>1707396
buy me anew body and I won't be that bored to remember GAR

>>1707409
Losing your first always hurts the most

>>1707411
No kidding though, that shit is getting annoying

>>1707409
That's why you got hallucinations of Mark, to keep you company and to remind you as to why you are against us. Stop acting like you want to die, and go improve yourself to be able to 1v6 us.

>>1707416
fine geez, I'll completely stop now
RIP in pieces, GAR
what I'm supposed to do without body anyway

>>1707418
Cmon 1v6 is shit

>>1707423
That's why Mark told Bob to go recruit underlings you retard

>>1707423
If you really don't want 1v6, then go recruit some vampbeasts and form yourself a small team of vampire hunter hunters. Stop being retarded and stop this deathwish you have.

>>1707423
dunno, I'd actually love to play as 1 vs 6, seems fun to me, also this >>1707427
you can have your own party which probably are less retarded than hunters
no hell in way I play as Bob tho

>>1707427
Fine god damn it. Have it your way, Bob will stay an evil dick and get buttblasted by the hunters

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>>1707404
>>1707388
>>1707385
Wilda and Jon bought the armor upgrades as Joseph accidentally hits 'mself in the crotch outside.

"Right. Now we can take another look at the golem bodies, or take a look at some mace upgrades"

>>1707422
Talk to other players without capslock

>>1707436
>>1707439
Let Bob go then, help him up first

>>1707439
>Talk to other players without capslock
they mostly ignore me. Not that I can blame them
No one even asks for coupons

>>1707439
Well, since the screaming head was supposed to be for the golem core, and since we're planning on buying a new chassis for it, can't we sell the screaming head back to get some of the money back? Also, since we seen the golem bodies, what about the mace upgrades?

>>1707439
Hey, you got any strawberries or something? Could go for something to eat.

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>>1707441
Bob is pulled up

>>1707451
"I can apply a buff to your mace that allows it to set itself on fire during battle. Adding +1 damage and giving it the ability to burn foes. That'll cost 2 gold. Or I can jsut give it a straight +2 damage upgrade, that'll cost 4. Or even even bigger damage upgrade of +5 for 9 gold. The listed prices have already been applied with your membership bonus"

>>1707456
"Sure, box of strawberries, 3 gold"

>>1707456
>>1707451
>>1707441
can I have a body now?

>>1707471
Tell Bob to go to Master Walter, he'll help him out
If not, I'll kill Bob right here and now

>>1707479
>>1707471
Thanks Joseph, I owe ya one. But I aint going to Walter. Bob's doing his own thing from now on

>>1707471
Hmm... Can't we sell some shit? Like those doll bodies and stuff? Did we do that?

>>1707471
The +5 damage sounds very useful, but before I buy something, we would like to upgrade our golem's chassis from the screaming head to the Hammerer chassis, since that seems to give us a discount.

Also >>1707485

>>1707485
No.

As for how much you can get for those, refer to this post : >>1706885

>>1707484
>>1707471
Eh, let me join you then, Bob
I'll disguise myself as Yusuf

>>1707489
Nigga what

>>1707495
Don't worry about it, it's a mini side adventure while you guys mess with the merchant

>>1707489
I dunno what you would gain by coming with me, I gotta prepare n shiet

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>>1707489
"I sense a disturbance in the farce"

>>1707499
>>1707498
Nevermind then
Head back to the others so we can finish up trading with the merchant

>>1707487
I'm just going to ignore what else is going on and talk to you.

If we sell all of that listed shit, it will give us 12 gold total. You can get that mega mace upgrade and I get my stawberries.

>>1707488
Deal, we'll sell you that stuff and buy what >>1707505 mentioned. After that, we'll buy the Hammerer chassis for our golem core.

>>1707499
Uhh...the golem needs a body.....uhh yeah...

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>>1707501
No. That's your " mini side adventure " now. Evade Brospeh through the castle while messing around with Bob

>>1707507
"Right, so just to confirm, you're going to sell the big sword, the small sword, the skull the meat and the doll parts for a total of 9 gold?"

>>1707515
well....at least joseph has done this before...I believe.

>>1707515
Correct. Come on man, I need my fix damnit

>>1707515
Yeah, and use that money to get myself the +5 damage for my mace. Anyway, it seems like Some Guy is in the news, what happened?

>>1707515
Is there a stronger bible? Or something to enhance holy powers???...Also the golem needs a new body.

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>>1707519
pdonk.

Party now has 32 gold.

>>1707515
Go meet up with brobat

>>1707515
Oh shit
>>1707528
Yeah, let's see your friends, Bob

>>1707525
Buy mace upgrade for Wilda, strawberries, and the hammerer chassis for our robot.

>>1707525
Let do what >>1707536 said.

>>1707539
agreed

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Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>1707536
Lessee. The +5 damage mace upgrade and strawberries have been bought. The fire upgrade is always applicable, just saying.

And now- >>1707524
"Oh yes of course. Here, a cross that adds +3 to prayers and also useable as a throwing weapon, it comes back like a boomerang. Or this fish fillet marinated in holy water that gives you +5 HP and prayers if eaten"

>>1707528
>>1707533
And now "yusuf" and bob must evade a homicidal masked axe murderer.

Roll 1d10 to avoid him in the first corridor you ran into

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>1707544
oh shit

>>1707544
Why not just kick his ass?

>>1707544
I guess that is one holy mackerel

But in more important news, aww yiss, fucking stawberries. Eat one now!

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>>1707554
Strawberry eaten, it was delicious. The box has 6 left. Only for Jon, the strawberry heals him to full health.

>>1707547
>>1707551
Having managed to stay hidden, Bob suggests fighting Broseph instead.

>>1707566
Why is Bobs face weird?

>>1707566
But he's my bro, bro
There's no way, Bob

>>1707544
Setting people on fire is Jon and Horace's thing, so I don't really need that upgrade. Also, I wonder what's taking Joseph so long.

>>1707567
Bob accidentally smacked himself with a mace in the face and then exploded acid onto his face while trying to make an acid bomb. Back in part 17. So Bob wore a mask resembling Mark's to hide it.

Get with the program

>>1707566
Fucking. Delish. Goddamn vacation to flavour town. Needed that.

>>1707570
Fuck if I know. Honestly, not sure if I want to know.

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>>1707570
Truly, a question for the ages.

Now what about that 20 gold the party still has.

Will they spend it on a new Golem body?

Or will they spend it on booze instead?

I dunno

>>1707584
Why not both?

>>1707584
>>1707570
Let's make our escape to the gift shop, Bob

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>>1707586
Budget reasons.

Here are the golem bodies.

The cross costs 2 gold, the fish fillet 3 gold.

While the booze costs 1 gold a bottle.

>>1707584
How about we flip that gold coin Broseph threw at me to decide. Heads, we get that Hammerer body for the golem. Tails, and we just buy booze and plug the AI core into the screaming head thing.

>>1707594
I'm down.

>>1707592
How much damage can that cannon do, OP?

>>1707592
Booze is overrated
Hammerer lock in confrim

>>1707597
6

>>1707594
>>1707595
Wait. Do we really want him to be screaming in all caps again?

>>1707600
There's a reason why Oswell bought the gagging thing for it as well.

>>1707599
what's 15 cannon mean then
I thought that would be like 15 damage at the minimum

>>1707606
15 cannon is it's accuracy bonus

>>1707608
aren't cannons supposed to be like highly inaccurate or something

Well, things seem handled so I'm passing out. Damn timezones.

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>>1707594
So a dice roll of 1d2. I'll let you choose. Which number is heads.

>>1707611
Aren't you supposed to not get an axe shoved down your gullet right now

>>1707608
can that cannon drive itself?

>>1707616
mmm
bring us to the gift shop then, OP

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>1707616
1 is heads, and 2 is tails.

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>>1707617
So a dice roll of 1d2. I'll let you choose. Which number is Yes.

>>1707621
And so booze was purchased and the Golem is now a tiny screaming ball with a rag stuck in its mouth

>>1707619
"Yusuf" and Bob arrives at the first floor gift shop

screw you guys

>>1707626
Let's see what's in the giftshop
hopefully some new plushies and crossovers

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>1707626
>So a dice roll of 1d2. I'll let you choose. Which number is Yes.
1 is YES
not that it matters anymore
[INTERNAL SCREAMING]

>>1707628
>>1707632
Blame the Dice God's cousin: Coinflip Goddess.

>>1707633
nah, fuck you
don't bring dice god into this

>>1707636
That's why I'm saying to blame his cousin, not him, for your terrible luck.

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>>1707631

>>1707643
Ooh, let's read it

>>1707642
nah, still fuck you

>>1707648
You do know we can just sell you to the merchant to get more money for booze, right?

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>>1707644
While the other hunters mull over their remaining 19 gold. "Yusuf" reads the cheap book:

The Kingslayer, a bearded, bald and seemingly noseless man wearing an incredibly tacky flame coat, were venturing in the spooky woods with his trusted friend and companion Merc, the Mercenary. As they made their way into a clearing, they noticed it was already night time and a spooky castle in the distance.

>>1707667
This seems familiar

>>1707667
...Wait, why would a vampire castle sell comics about hunters murdering vampires in their gift shop? Unless the gift shop got taken over by the Hunters since we went through that floor and sat up a forward base in the clocktower?

File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1707669
>>1707673
As they went to investigate, they found the gate to the castle has been cut in half by some unknown vandals. Curious, they climbed inside to find out more. Plus it seems like a calling for a sidequest. And adventurers love that shit.

>>1707675
Huh, this seems REALLY familiar

>>1707675
Good old times
>>1707655
whatever, abomination

File: 3.png (43KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1707677
What did he mean by this?

>>1707675
Why do I have a feeling that this comic that "Yusuf" is reading is actually just the stand Tohth in disguise?

>>1707677
Truly, modern art.

File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1707679
>>1707681
>>1707686
As they make their way past the gate and through the courtyard, the adventurers find corpses lying around. Some has had their heads cut off, some were cut in half vertically, and some shows signs of multiple stab wounds.
"Looks like ghouls" Merc said
"I wonder if they have any loot" said the Kingslayer, also known as Horsefucker due to his episodes of bestiality involving creatures of the equine persuasion, as he rummages through the corpses.
Finding nothing of value, the pair continued pass the courtyard up to the front door

>>1707693
Hey, I think we did that.

File: 1.png (12KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1707695
"It's locked" said the bearded one
"It's unlocked now" said Merc as he lockpicks the door open.

>>1707699
... look outside the Gift shop

>OP become so bored of incometence of hunter he decided to kill every vamp himself via cameos

File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1707700
Suddenly, from a nearby room, a figure pokes out. A vampire wearing a tophat appears!

"Nice dubs" said the Horsefucker

>>1707703
Only because some people want to go sidetracking and all that jazz. I just want to murder vampires and get sweet loot.

>>1707705
Continue reading the book
holy shit this is awesome

>>1707705
Sup horsefucker n merc n skullfuck

File: 1.png (10KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1707710
>>1707709
Suddenly another vampire pops out, this one appears to be somewhat bigger than the other one, with wings and claws, as if, beast-like.

"Who are you, and how do you know our names?" asked the Horsefucker

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure we never dealt with any bloodsuckers" said Skullfuck, the sentient skullmace the Horsefucker is carrying

>>1707708
says drunk abomination

>>1707712
From the mongolian basket weaving forums

>>1707712
Tell them we read your book

>>1707714
Says the screaming disembodied golem head.

File: 1.png (10KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1707716
>>1707717
"Yeah sure whatever. Look, we're looking for some loot and a sidequest. And since this is a spooky castle and you look to b monsters...You must be what we'll be killing tonight. Unless you're the quest giver. Then point us to what's gonna need some murderin' "

>>1707721
Well, there's this party of hunters hiding out in the clocktower, they've got pretty good loot and a bunch of gold waiting to be pilfered. Think you guys could handle that?

>>1707721
There's a group of burglars in the upper floors. I'll give you loot and gold of you get rid of them

>>1707721
>>1707723
>>1707724
Reword "hunters" to burglars, what bob said basically

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>>1707723
>>1707724
D̵̡͈̹͉̜͍͓͑͗̿͂̉͝Ę̢̤̦̤̟̝̹̝̺́͊̍̐̌͗L̢̩͚͔̝̖̤͆̇̽͑̊̓͗̾͜E̷̡̞͙͚̱̺̮̭͑̐͐̂̓̚͝T̸͈͖̘͖̆̑̌̕͜͡ T̢̻͇̬̫̦͗̈́͛͆̋̓̔̒͘H̷̨͓̠̭̜́͂̾͗̊̄̉͌͌̐Ì͙̯͙͎̤̀̆͞͠S̷̛͉͔̝̝͂͒̓̍̐͟͞

File: 1.png (14KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1707724
>>1707725
"Sweet! Murder for loot!" Horsefucker said as he runs up the stairs

"You better have our payments. We don't like working for swindlers, bad for our wallets and bad for your health" Merc said as he ran after

>>1707733
Well Bob, let's make some money
You know where we can make a lot of money in a fast amount of time?

>>1707733
grabs popcorn

>>1707733
>>1707734
Gamberno's gambling lair. We could fight in his arena

>>1707737
>>1707733
Hmm, isn't that just for loot though? Let's get some gold out of it then

>>1707739
We can sell the loot afterwards though

File: 1.png (11KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1707734
>>1707737
>>1707739
>>1707741
>>1707735
As the trio makes their way through the second floor, going past discarded broken armor pieces and the like, something important dawns on them
"Wait....we're told the burglars are upstairs right" says Horsefucker
"Yeah?" answered Merc
"But...which floor? And what do they even look like?"
"Shit, you're right. Hmm, perhaps we could turn back and ask them for more details, but then that proabbly would take up our time"
"Eh, just run around the floors until we encounter somebody suspicious, that always works." Skullfuck chimes in
"Good idea, skullfuck, look, at the end there, a sign pointing towards something...it says "clocktower". Let's investigate "

MEANWHILE,
Bob and "Yusuf" opts to head to the hidden gambling lair, which also means that they'll have a chance to run into Broseph
This leaves them these options:
- Evade Broseph again
- Fight Broseph
- Alert the adventurers whom they've just "hired" and let them deal with Broseph
- Genuflect

MEANWHILE MEANWHILE,
Wilda is engaging in some underage drinking

MEANWHILE MEANWHILE MEANWHILE,
THe golem continues to scream internally, due to the rag in its mouth

>>1707751
MEANWHILE MEANWHILE MEANWHILE MEANWHILE
thread is dead

>>1707751
Evade broseph. Genuflecting would prolly mean decapitation

>>1707751
>>1707756
Evade Broseph

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>>1707751
Don't you KNOOOW, that this is just like GAAAAR again...~

File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>1707759
Sudennly, the door to the clocktower outpost sounds like it's being hit from outside.

"EYYYYY! BURGLARSSSS! OPEENNNN UUUPPPP"

"You can just knock down that door ya know"

"Yes, Skullfuck, but this is more dramatic and shit."

Wilda's underaged drinking has been interrupted

>>1707756
>>1707758
Roll 1d10 to evade

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>1707763
oh shit

>>1707763
>>1707765
Good work Yusuf

>>1707763
Burglars? Who? Don't you knooooow the door's already unlocked~

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>>1707765
>>1707766
Yusuf and Bob managd to hide from broseph again

>>1707767
Bursting down the door, the trio are surprised by the presence of the little girl before them
"A little girl!"

"MY god!....SHE'S THE BURGLAR! IT'S SO OBVIOUS"

>>1707769
Let's meet with Gamberno again and see if he's got any new games in the caisno

>>1707769
>>1707771
Aye

>>1707769
...Wait, why are you looooooking for a burglar?

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>>1707774
"Well, some fanged bloodsuckers downstairs hired us to do so"

"Wait....why are you talking like that....I smell alcohol on her! Little girl, have you been drinking?! That's inapproriate behaviour"

"....What's that round thing behind her? And why does it have a rag in its mouth?"

>>1707771
>>1707773
"Ah, yusuf and Bob! Long time no see. Bob, I heard what happened to Mark, terrible thing, you have my condolences...Anyway, we have a new slot machine! Due to constant complaints of the slots being too hard, now the machine have 10 slots!"

So now when play it, you roll 10d10. Get at least 3 numbers to be identical to win something.
Jackpot: Get at least 3 identical 7s
Super Jackpot: Get all 10 numbers to be identical
ULTRA Jackpot: Get all 10 numbers to be 7

>>1707782
Thank you master Gamberno. I'll play slots

>>1707782
It's my party's screaming oooorb, and I'm ooooold enough to drin- *hic* tooo drink. So what're those vampires ooooffering in return for a burgla- burgl- birgie- burgler?

Rolled 5, 10, 2, 9, 9, 7, 4, 7, 5, 7 = 65 (10d10)

>>1707784
>>1707782
oh shit, just 3 numbers?
let's play

>>1707782
[INTERNAL SCREAMING]

>>1707787
>>1707782
OH SHIT YES JACKPOT BOY
BOB WE MADE IT FUCKING BIG
HOLY SHIT BOB

Rolled 10, 5, 2, 1, 8, 1, 7, 9, 10, 8 = 61 (10d10)

>>1707782

>>1707791
Nice goin!

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>>1707785
>>1707788
"Loot and gold, ya know regular payments, strange drunk little girl"

"That orb thing is looking mighty agitated. Perhaps it wants to say something?"


>>1707784
>>1707787
"Sure Bob. And as a favor to show my sympathy over dear old Mark's death, the first spin's free...Not for your friend Yusuf though. 2 Gold coins a lever pull"

Bob's personal wallet currently has 10 Gold
Joseph has no money

So that roll didn't count, huehuehuehue

>>1707795
It only screams, it was maaade to scream. *hic* But, but but but, did they tell you how muuuuch gold they'll give you?

>>1707795
Hey wait a minute, OP
don't be a dick, we're using the party's gold
the fuck

>>1707795
>"That orb thing is looking mighty agitated. Perhaps it wants to say something?"
This little girl is Eldrich abomination in disguise!
The horror of old!
KILL IT!
[INTERNAL SCREAMING]

Rolled 9, 7, 3, 5, 1, 8, 9, 6, 8, 10 = 66 (10d10)

>>1707795
Bob pulls the lever and gives Yusuf 2 gold coins

>>1707797
You're not part of now party now aren't chu

Rolled 7, 7, 4, 2, 10, 7, 5, 9, 8, 7 = 66 (10d10)

>>1707801
>>1707795
>>1707800
fine
we use the 2 gold

>>1707801
He is a dirty traitor!
[INTERNAL SCREAMING]

>>1707802
Jackpot again!!

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>>1707796
"Hmmm, nooo. They never did..."

>>1707798
The horsefucker studies the orb

"Maybe...maybe...If I remove the rag, things would happen"

>>1707802
>>1707804
JAAAAAAAACKPOT!

Yusuf gets three 7s!

He gets: Roll 1d100 to see how much money you get. Jackpot gives a base bonus of +50 Gold

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>1707809
BIG MONEEEEEEY
WE FUCKING DID IT BOB

>>1707809
Scream is actually really speed up tale of all story so far on repeat mixed with advertisement between episodes.

>>1707809
Don't you knooow, that's how they geeeeet you!~ If they don't saaaay what exactly they'll give yooou, th- *hic* then they can give you pennies in return for yooour work...

>>1707810
You're on a stroll today Jose- I mean Yusuf

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>>1707812
"Hmmm...those bastards! Obvously since you are a small child, I am compelled to believe you and see nothing wrong with that"

>>1707811
"Hmmm, yes, maybe Imma remove the rag....but what if it plays ads? I don't like jews..."

>>1707810
Yusuf collects his winning prize of 91 Gold

>>1707815
Can we fight in the arena for double or nothing?

>>1707815
>>1707813
Bob, does Gamberno sell vampire gear down here as well?

>>1707815
Let me prooove my point: Take this single piece of g- *hic* g-gold, and buy me a power potion from the merchant ooooooover there! Do thaaaat, and I'll give you 3 gold for your efforts~

>>1707815
>"Hmmm, yes, maybe Imma remove the rag....but what if it plays ads? I don't like jews..."
just gotta hope he won't land on ads then

>>1707818
I dunno if he sells gear but you can win it off other vampires from poker etc I believe

File: 1.png (14KB, 500x1000px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1707819
"Sure, what harm could that do"

Merc hands Wilda the Power potion

>>1707820
Roll 1d10 to see if he lands on ads

if you get an Odd number: he Lands on ads
if you get an even number: he Doesn't Lands on ads

>>1707817
"Of course! Of course! Step through the doorway to enter the arena for the DOUBLE OR NOTHING challenge"

>>1707824
Thaaaankies, and here's the three gold~ Now you knoooow how a actual quest goes like!

>>1707824
We head into the Arena then

>>1707824
So are you up for the challenge Yusuf?

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>1707824

My gooooood maaan Horsefucker! How nice of you to drop in! Let me interest you in this fine piece of rug, made from Eastern Silk, my heart bleeds but I really in a jam so I need to be separated with it. As you can see I really in need of some body!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUawtbNDOoE

>>1707829
I fucking knew it

>>1707824
are you sure you guys aren't the thieves?

>>1707834
They haven't stole aaaaanything yet, so they- *hic* they can't be~

>>1707815
okay...im just confused. Whats happening?

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>>1707825
>>1707829
"Well now that convinced me of your innocence child, clearly we have been bamboozled and must resolve this matter through grievous murder"

"Really? I mean you just gonna trust a little girl like that?"

"Usually kids don't lie to me, my friend. I lie to kids. Like that one time when my brother's adopted son looked up to me as a cool uncle, but when he was sent to the neighboring country to conquer it I stayed behind and helped you murder his adopted family."

"Oh yeah, anyway, this orb thing yelled about something about the girl actually"

"Really?"

"Yeah, something about she is actually something something, but before i could hear the rest an add suddenly plays so I shoved the rag back into its mouth"

>>1707836
Some random adventurers have invaded the castle and are now inside the hunter outpost. They have been told by bob and "yusuf" that the hunters are actually burglars and must be dealt with

>>1707827
>>1707828

>>1707839
oh hey I heard of you guys, you guys are the Kong slayers huh? But there are no monkeys here..... yet....

>>1707839
[INTERNAL SCREAMING ON THE LOOP]

>>1707839
I guess iI will polish my weapon or something to pass the time while were waiting...I guess???

>>1707839
Weeeell, there's a actual thing that I- that we need done... You see, one of our members, Joseph, headed out the clocktower to execuuute this armoured vampbeast fellow. He wears a mask and a top hat, and dressed in a armoured longcoat-kinda thing. Big axe and shield as well... If you can find him and bring him back to us, I'll give you 10 gold and a power potion. Deeeal? *hic*

>>1707839
[LOADING]

File: 1.png (17KB, 500x1000px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1707843
"No, not Kongslayers, Kingslayers"

"But we're not opposed to slaying monkeys of course."

"Or king monkeys"

"Or anything really. We'll slay anything if the pay's good"

>>1707845
Is that an innuendo

>>1707844
"Man this thing is shaking real bad"

>>1707846
"Well that sounds reasonable, a sidequest!"

>>1707848
Yusuf and bob steps into the arena, and now they await their opponent

>>1707846
O-oh, I foooorgot to say, he's missing, so t- that's why I am asking yous to find and get him.

>>1707843
>>1707850
They must also be gooood kongslayers, as I don't see- *hic* I don't see any kongs around here...

>>1707850
No? Rapiers need polishing so they can stay nice and sharp and most importantly shiny!

>>1707850
how bout some vampires then?
They need slaying there maybe a KING VAMPIRE~

>>1707853
Vampires can't be kings, silly! You get a vampire hunter to deal with vampires, not kingslayers...~

>>1707850
Hopefully our enemy isn't half-leg Pete

>>1707850
>>1707857
Man, I hate that guy

>>1707850
>"Man this thing is shaking real bad"
Increase shacking via adding speed to the loop

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>>1707852
Yeah sure

>>1707851
>>1707853
"Yes, we'll look into that vampire king later...anyway, any more details you could tell us about this Joseph?"

>>1707860
"And what is up with this thing anyway?"

>>1707857
>>1707859
Nah, it's just the Vampire Knight

>>1707864
Sup dude.

>>1707864
Oh fuck, that guy looks tough
what are the stats on him?

>>1707864
>"And what is up with this thing anyway?"
try to tell in morse code via alienating the shacking pattern

>>1707864
joseph? who that

File: 3.png (18KB, 700x500px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1707864
He kinda looks like the pic on the left, but sometimes he looks like the thing on the right when he's unlucky... He's likeeee a brother to me, so can you go find him for us, k- *hic* kind adventurers?

>>1707871
hey what the fuck

File: 1.png (22KB, 500x1000px) Image search: [Google]

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Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>1707868
Roll 1d10 to tell them via morse course through shaking pattern

>>1707870
Jon has seem to already forgotten about Joseph, what a dickhead.

>>1707871
"Oh so he turns into a dickface when he's unlucky."

"Fascinating"

>>1707867
Vampire Knight:
Power: 20
Speed: 15
HP: 30
Special: 18
Will: 18

Armaments:

Vampire Great Sword: 6 Damage per hit
Vampire Knight Armor: Reduces instakill rolls of enemies by -3

Skills:
Wide swing: Hits 2 enemies at same time
Gut punch: stuns an enemy for a turn

>>1707877
too many blows to the head, all my techniques are hard wired but my short term memories are shot.

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>1707877
>Roll 1d10 to tell them via morse course through shaking pattern
01001100 01101001 01110100 01110100 01101100 01100101 00100000 01100111 01101001 01110010 01101100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01000101 01101100 01100100 01110010 01101001 01100011 01101000 00100000 01101000 01101111 01110010 01110010 01101111 01110010 00101110 00100000 01000100 01110010 01101111 01110000 01110011 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101111 01100100 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101111 01110100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01101011 01101001 01101100 01101100 01100101 01100100 00101110

>>1707877
So, uh, can't you go and find him for us? I'll promise to give you what I told you.

>>1707880
sorry was compiling thru assembler

.-.. .. - - .-.. . / --. .. .-. .-.. / .. ... / . .-.. -.. .-. .. -.-. .... / .... --- .-. .-. --- .-. .-.-.- / -.. .-. --- .--. ... / --. --- --- -.. / .-.. --- --- - / .-- .... . -. / -.- .. .-.. .-.. . -.. .-.-.-

>>1707877
Bob, you ready? I've got my new equipment and you got yours
Let's DO THIS

>>1707885
Of course

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>>1707879
>>1707883
"Very well"

"We'll be on out wa--" >>1707880 >>1707884

"Hmmm"

"Yes...we'll find this Joseph, and return later"

>>1707885
>>1707886
AND SO...

THe Vamp Knight goes first. And he'll....gut punch one of you.

Roll 1d10, who ever is lower gets punched in the gut

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>1707889
I already got gut punched by Broseph once today

>>1707889
...Thaaaat's kinda a suspicious attitude, why are you staring at me like that now?

>>1707889
Finally message gone thru to someone actually capable.
Keeping kingdom safe from unhuman beings is always my top priority.

>>1707889
you can understand beeps?

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>>1707892
"Ah..."

"Uh..."

"...You got something on your face there, like right below your left eye"

"Looks like a piece of uh...lettuce or somehting, yeah"

>>1707895
"I know of beeps and morse codes, yes"

"Anyway, we'll be going on, finidng that Joseph character and all"

>>1707891
If Joseph doesn't make roll then Bob will get targetted by default

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>1707889
>>1707897

>>1707897
Okay heading to sleep night

>>1707897
Well, before you go, you should take everything that the screaming orb says with a pinch of salt. The AI that powers it malfunctions often, and ended up blowing its former chassis up in addition to trying to get us murdered. Got it?

>>1707899
Yes. Goodnight, "Moon Angel". I didn't know we had a celestial being in our midsts

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Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>1707900
"Sure."

"We'll be back soon"

>>1707898
>>1707891
So now Bob roll 1d10 against the punch

Bob has 15 Power
VK has 20 Power

>>1707906
I think that moment sobered me up a bit. So what about that art bonus talked about over at >>1706977 and >>1706998?

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>>1707909
Who know. Did youuuuuu draw it?

>>1707906
Meanwhile Bob gets gut punched. And judging by the activeness of both "Yusuf" and Bob, it isn't much of a difference.

And so, for being inactive and giving the Vamp Knight free hits, Yusuf and Bob lost all their winnings.

The End

>>1707906
[AI does not lie]
.- .. / -.. --- . ... / -. --- - / .-.. .. .