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Anonymous
Vampire Hunter adventure thing, part 18 2017-07-25 12:47:34 Post No. 1701852
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Vampire Hunter adventure thing, part 18 2017-07-25 12:47:34 Post No. 1701852
[Report] Image search: [Google]
OH SHIT NIGGER(s) it's an adventure about killing vampires n shit.
3 vampire hunters, 1 little girl and a robutt, is going to infiltrate a vampire castle to kill the head vampire there for casting a spell than kept the world at perpetual night time.
While on the Vampires' side there's Bob the Vampbeast given the mission to stop these hunters.
The hunters are now currently heading through the fifth floor of the castle.
Each character needs at least 1 player to be the voices in their head to tell them what to do n' shit.
Just name yourself something with the highlighted title under the character to identify which team you're going with. Example: Regular Hunter Faggot -> Controls Oswell the regular Hunter
Need at least 1 player for each dude, DOESN'T mean each character is limited to 1 player.
The more players each character has, the more rerolls that team gets.
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>1701852
So what're we on?
>>
>>1701852
punch self in face
>>
>>1701862
I dunno. Drugs? You're on drugs.
>>
>>1701866
punch self in face
>>
>>1701870
>>1701874
Oh no, Joseph accidentally punched too hard.
He is now dying.
>>
>>1701879
horace, heals please
>>
>>1701879
Bing
>>
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1701880
>>1701882
>>1701885
Right. horace roll 1d10 to heal Joseph
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>1701891
>>
>>1701891
Suppository?
>>
>>1701896
>>1701897
>>1701905
JOseph has been healed
>>
>>1701907
pretty good
let's keep scouting on this floor since we got the actual loot
>>
>>1701915
So wants to roll for scouting
>>
>>
>>1701919
put me in, boss
>>
>>1701923
Go ahead. Beep
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1701919
Ayyy lmao
>>
>>1701922
Horace roll 1d5 for what is found:
5: The way forward is clear
4: The way forward is blocked by a locked door
3: The way forward is blocked by enemies
2: The way forward is blocked by 2 locked doors
1: The way forward is actually a trap door, dropping the hunters into the dungeon
>>1701923
>>1701931
>put me in, boss
>put me in
>Go ahead, beep
Joseph has been shoved inside the Golem's metal asshole
>>
>>1701948
nigga the fuck
I meant for scouting
>>
>>1701955
Oh then perhaps somebody could help pull Joseph out of the metal anus
>>
>>1701965
Suppository?
Inhale hunter.
>>
>>1701965
god damn it
>>
>>1701965
Fiiine... Although, if I activate the robot super mode, the robot could do it itself probably. Isn't that why they exist instead of being burned as heretics? To do shit we don't want to do?
>>
>>1701969
>>1701978
>>1701981
So now anybody who wants to get Joseph out roll 1d10 to pull him out agains the Tin Can, who also roll 1d10 to inhale Joseph
>>
>>1701987
Inhale, then exit thru chest cavity door. Least resistant route.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1701991
>>
>>
>>1702007
Neither is pulling against a suction vaccuum
>>
>>1702013
It's what I do when I'm not rolling ones
>>
>>1702007
>>1702000
>>1702018
Indeed. When Jon is not getting 1s, he pulls people outta buttholes.
>>
>>1702015
Couldn't you push him out through said suction vacuum?
>>
>>1702024
Let's shut that robot down, I think it might be trouble than it's worth
>>
>>1702024
It's an unfortunate job, but somebody had to do it. Those vampires have their heads up their own asses so far sometimes, how else am I supposed to punch their teeth out?
>>
>>1702027
Suction... sucks.
Are you a re re?
Beep
>>
>>1702024
I also vote for mega fart.
>>
>>1702042
Did you build me?
No.
Dont talk like you know me
*clank clank*
I cannot snap.
>>
>>1702046
For who?
>>
>>1702034
Truly, a thankless and under-appreciated job.
Anyway, somebody roll for scouting already
roll 1d5 for what is found:
5: The way forward is clear
4: The way forward is blocked by a locked door
3: The way forward is blocked by enemies
2: The way forward is blocked by 2 locked doors
1: The way forward is actually a trap door, dropping the hunters into the dungeon
>>
Rolled 1 (1d5)
>>1702051
Scouting
>>
Rolled 1 (1d5)
>>1702051
Welp
>>
>>
>>1702051
Good thing i scouted. Didnt bring you all. And i have a huge metal ass... merely. Stuck... ayyuuippp *denial*
>>
>>1702052
>>1702053
>>1702054
Horace found a safe way to press onward.
While The Golem and Jon accidentally activated a trap door leading into the dungeon
Now somebody grab them before the 2 falls down into teh dungeon
>>
>>1702077
Grab Jon only, he's lighter
>>
>>1702077
Use extendo arms to catch ledge
>>
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1702084
>>1702090
>>1702095
Roll 1d10
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1702104
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1702104
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>1702104
Sweet Jesus I don't want to fall, grab rope or Joseph or something
>>
>>1702110
>>1702108
>>1702107
>>1702106
Jon managed to save himself while the others hunters fail to.
And the tin can fell down the hole
>>
>>1702117
Oh well
Horace, let's get past this gap
carry us
>>
>>1702120
Shouldn't we, uh, do something about the robot? I'm going to at least activate his super mode.
>>
>>1702117
Use ass for a final boost. Use extendo arms to grab jon!
>>
>>
>>1702131
I thought so too
>>
>>1702131
Too heavy
>>
>>1702128
Plz no. I'll activate your super robot mode, you should be able to get out yourself then.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1702131
>>1702128
Good thing Oswell bought that rope for the party a few threads back.
Anyway, roll 1d10 to attempt another save
>>
>>
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1702146
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1702146
Save the robot by activating his super mode, we need him to carry our shit and shill
>>
>>1702155
>>1702153
>>1702151
The golem has been pulled up.
During the process, Joseph got squished due to negligence. So let's just say Joseph "caught" the Golem
>>
>>1702172
Not again... Remove Joseph from the golem
>>
>>1702172
S-s-s-supository?
>>
>>1702175
>>1702184
Golem has been removed
>>
>>1702172
god damn it
>>
>>1702187
Help him up. Carefully.
>>
>>1702187
It's alright, I'm sure I can heal you with a cannonball shot, just make sure to get up, alright?
>>
>>1702187
Help Joseph up
>>
>>
>>1702202
nigga the fuck
why are we still doing rolls for menial stuff like this
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>1702202
Up you go
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>1702202
>>
>>
>>1702204
Cuz he isnt ready to get fully started yet. Chill.
>>
>>1701852
By the way, QM, did you manage to get up earlier than usual to host this session?
>>
>>
>>1702217
uh
fiesta if you guys want
otherwise let's just head through the door
>>
>>1702217
The latter sounds better, as it sounds like actual progress and stuff.
>>
>>1702217
Let's go boldly through the doorway!
>>
>>1702217
All aboard the Retard Express
>>
>>1702217
Why not both?
>Yea
Nice.
>>
>>1702220
>>1702222
>>1702225
>>1702227
>>1702228
AND NOW YOU MUST ROLL TO WALK THROUGH THE DOOR WITHOUT TWISTING YOUR ANKLES!!!
Nah just kidding, roll 1d10 to see if you get ambushed
1-5: Ambushed! Enemies gets 1 free round all to themselves
6-8: Ambushed! But the party noticed before it's too late, normal battle conditions happen
9-10: No ambush, way is clear.
Pick the luckiest amongst you to roll
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1702246
roll, nigga
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>1702246
Lord, help us through our struggles
>>
>>1702252
Choo. Choo. Retard Express
>>
>>1702248
For disregarding my instructions, the lowest roll is picked.
3 Dolls appear behind the party.
All 3 have the same Stats:
Power: 15
Speed: 20
HP: 20
Special: 8
Will: 20
Assassin Knife: Does 3 damage a hit - When attacking does 2 rolls, first roll is hit chance, second roll if higher than or equal to 3, causes a debuff due to stabbing an important organ
Getting the drop on the party means for the first round each of them gets 2 actions
>>
>>1702286
uh oh
>>
>>1702286
I... Suppose I can't use my reaction to use float like a butterfly real quick?
>>
>>1702286
>For disregarding my instructions, the lowest roll is picked.
It was the first one anyways, so at least we got to roll.
>Getting the drop on the party means for the first round each of them gets 2 actions
2 actions each, why's that?
>>
>>1702286
...How about you all actually read what shit is said next time? Guess we'll have to endure through multiple stabbings.
OP, can you have all three do their 2 attacks at the same time in a single action?
>>1702294
Because they not only got a free round to themselves, they also are faster than us right now.
>>
>>
>>
First hit bonus for golem. 1 hit does 0 dmg
>>
Rolled 3, 1, 2 = 6 (3d5)
>>1702299
>OP, can you have all three do their 2 attacks at the same time in a single action?
Lessee, first let's play a game of "who's stabbing who"
1: Horace
2: Joseph
3: Wilda
4: Jon
5: Golem
>>
>>1702320
shit
>>
>>1702320
I think I could handle it. Maybe.
>>
>>1702320
Dang
>>
>>1702336
You could, but the rest of us pretty much have to tank a hit.
>>
>>1702346
Joseph gets to roll a d15 instead of a d10, and you get to apply your speed to basically all your actions, you two still have the chance to making it through unharmed.
>>
Rolled 2, 2, 1, 3, 8, 4, 1, 5, 6, 4, 6, 4 = 46 (12d10)
>>1702320
AND SO:
The first doll will try to stab Wilda twice
The second doll will try to stab Horace twice
The third doll will try to stab Joseph twice
Orders are:
First Wilda Stab - Debuff roll
(first roll) (seventh roll)
Second Wilda Stab - Debuff roll
(second roll) (eighth roll)
First Horace Stab - Debuff roll
(third roll) (ninth roll)
Second Horace Stab - Debuff roll
(fourth roll) (tenth roll)
First Joseph Stab - Debuff roll
(fifth roll) (eleventh roll)
Second Joseph Stab - Debuff roll
(sixth roll) (twelfth roll)
So Wilda, Horace and Joseph roll 2d10 agains the listed rolls.
Bonuses:
Dolls: 20 Speed Each
Wilda: 18 Power
Horace: 14 Speed + 1 due to parrying dagger
Joseph: 12 Power + 4 due to metal shield
>>1702361
Joseph get d15 only for attacks
And Horace adds half his speed to actions that don't use speed. Defending for him uses Speed so that doesn't apply.
>>
Rolled 1, 9 = 10 (2d10)
>>1702390
CHESTOOOOOOO
FWOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!
>>
Rolled 5, 2 = 7 (2d10)
>>1702390
Well then.
>>
Rolled 5, 7 = 12 (2d10)
>>1702390
Ho' shit, that's a lot of dice.
>Joseph: 12 Power + 4 due to metal shield
Yep, which is why we have to tank it. At least Joseph's shield means he does better than listed.
>>
Rolled 8, 1, 5, 7, 5, 4, 7, 8, 10, 10, 2, 1 = 68 (12d10)
AND SO:
First Wilda Stab - Debuff roll
(first roll) (seventh roll)
(2) (1) = 22 against 23 -> Wilda defends successfully
Second Wilda Stab - Debuff roll
(second roll) (eighth roll)
(2) (5) = 22 against 20 -> Wilda gets stabbed and reduced to 15/18 HP and gets a -2 to attacking rolls
First Horace Stab - Debuff roll
(third roll) (ninth roll)
(1) (6) = 21 against 20 -> Horace gets stabbed and reduced to 5/8 HP and gets a -2 to attacking rolls
Second Horace Stab - Debuff roll
(fourth roll) (tenth roll)
(3) (4) = 23 against 22 -> Horace gets stabbed and reduced to 2/8 HP and gets a -1 to attacking rolls -> Horace now has a -3 to attacking rolls
First Joseph Stab - Debuff roll
(fifth roll) (eleventh roll)
(8) (6) = 28 against 17 -> Joseph gets stabbed and reduced to 14/17 HP and gets a -2 to attacking rolls
Second Joseph Stab - Debuff roll
(sixth roll) (twelfth roll)
(4) (4) = 24 against 25 -> Joseph defends successfully
NOW
It's Horace's turn
>>
>>1702459
HORACE, PRAY
WE NEED THE HEALS
>>
>>
>>1702481
We should fill combo then after your prayer, I can spend my action sparking the combo. If we take down one or two quickly, this will be much easier.
>>
>>1702286
It occurred to me, aren't these dolls starting to approach Mark's base stats?
>>
>>1702497
Don't you know about basic difficulty progression? The higher we go up the tower, the more difficult the fights will be.
>>
>>1702497
Level scaling tends to do that, yeah.
Plus since Walter rules at a higher floor than Mark, it's safe to assume he and by extension his minions is at a higher power level
>>
>>
>>1702527
That would require sour blood between them first of all, something that we don't know is true or not. Secondly, you're forgetting about Mark's final form, the same one that basically KO'd the entire party was it not for me.
>>
>>1702527
He smacks them with his surprisingly huge monster dick
>>
>>1702549
>That would require sour blood between them first of all, something that we don't know is true or not
From what Walter and Mark said, apparently Walter would try assassinating him at night with dolls. I forget why they had bad blood, something about Walter wanting to turn Mark into a doll?
>Secondly, you're forgetting about Mark's final form, the same one that basically KO'd the entire party was it not for me.
Yeah, I remembered. Must be difficult if he does that every assassination attempt.
>>1702558
Ah. The intimidation route.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1702481
Anyway, roll 1d10 for prayers
Horace has 5 Special + 5 Prayers = 10 Bonus
Then...Horace must choose who to heal and how to heal them: Regain HP or remove the debuff
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1702585
Do I get to use my speed bonus?
Darn. I guess I heal myself since I'm one hit away from death.
>>
>>1702602
Yes, and so the total would be: 15 Bonus against a 5 , congrats.
So you healed yourself for: 15 HP
Horace is now at full 8 HP
AND NOW:
It's Jon's turn
>>
>>1702617
Oh. Woops. I didn't realize that was how much I could use prayers by.
>>
>>1702617
Alright! Everyone, let's super combo one of those doll! If we take one or two out quick, this will be much easier.
>>
>>1702635
Sure.
>>
>>1702617
Oi, I'm still here, and I got higher fast than Jon!
>>
>>1702635
Let's do it
>>
What's up folks. Dropping in for a bit. what's the crisis today?
>>
>>1702641
Oh right, it's because the little is so short I didn't see. It's Wilda's turn.
hurr hurr
>>
>>1702658
Fighting Dolls
>>
>>1702660
Since it's bound to help us in the fight, I'll mace the ground to send all the dolls onto the floor.
>>
>>1702663
what living dolls?
Babes or golems?
>>
>>1702668
As in human-sized actual dolls, not chicks or robutts.
>>
>>1702672
... can I have one.
... For reasons
>>
Rolled 4, 10, 1 = 15 (3d10)
>>1702665
Roll 1d10
Wilda has +18 Power
Ambush Dolls has +15 Power
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1702682
That's what happens when you skip Power day.
>>
>>1702686
Indeed
Two dolls stand firm while one is tripped, it has 19/20 HP left.
Now it's Oswell's turn, if he's actually active. If not then it's Jon's
>>
>>1702719
Yo. Can I jump onto the tripped doll and start stabbing it with my swords?
>>
>>1702729
Yes.
Call out the spirit living inside you for further damage too if you want
>>
>>
>>1702729
forgot the tag my bad
>>
>>1702737
I agree, let's all combo on one of the standing dolls
>>
>>1702735
Taking Waifu chan into my swords, I plummet them into the tripped Doll. In planting the spirit of my waifu chan into the Doll pushing the evil spirits out of it
>>
>>1702749
Oswell, no. We need to focus on the ones still standing first, since they can still attack us when the next round comes around.
>>
>>1702749
The spirit has already bounded to your body, there was a ritual and everything. You can't take it out unless one of 2 things happen:
- You die
- Another convoluted ritual is performed, involving chanting in a circle, salt, holy water, 5 candles and interpretive dancing
>>
>>1702759
We still have 3 turns left.
>>
>>1702763
Damn. ok that makes sense. Lets set up the combo with the other hunters. Start spinning my blades. maybe another time. I will put it on my list
>>
>>1702772
I'll join in with this combo as well.
>>
>>1702780
Spinning hammers?
>>
>>1702772
Now who is joining in this combo says aye
>>
>>1702793
AYE
>>
>>
>>1702793
Aye
>>
>>1702793
aye
>>
>>1702793
Aye.
>>
>>1702803
Oh right, forogt the new number, so yes. the actual bonus for your healing prayers is:
Horace has +5 Special + 7 Gotta Go Fast + 5 Prayers = 17 heals
>>
>>1702793
here aye
>>
>>
Rolled 9 (1d15)
>>1702850
YEAH
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>1702850
R I P
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>1702850
TEAMWOOOORK
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1702850
I'm guessing we're ganging up on one of the full HP dolls.
>>1702819
>tfw my ability to heal is 2x+ my max HP.
It's a shame we don't have any party members with the ability to aggro enemies to make use of that healing strength.
What happens if I fail a prayer or healing roll? I'm not sure what the difference in rolls goes by for failed prayers.
>>1702845
Good to see you here Anon Joseph.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1702850
Prosperity
>>
>>1702860
If you fail a prayer.
Nothing happens.
Just like real life.
>>
>>
>>1702885
No Kill like OVERKILL
>>
>>
>>
>>1702897
Yes please finger the doll. I'll get the camera, We'll make millions
>>
>>1702911
This could be Golem's chance to shine!
>>
>>1702896
The patient dies due to injuries sustained.
Just like real life.
>>
>>1702909
Anybody who wants to join in the second combo says "Aye"
>>
>>1702927
>I was a Doll Slut
>Not even sentient for more than a day. Already on the floor with a man's hand inside me.
>Dirty Dolls
>>
>>1702941
Let's kill them aaaaaaall
>>
>>1702941
Aye!
>>
>>1702941
Ayeeeeee
>>
>>1702941
Getting a camera for the doll fingering
>>
Aye
>>
>>
>>1702947
>>1702948
>>1702951
>>1702952
Now who wants a free level up says "I'm a huge fucking faggot please stab my face"
>>
>>1702964
I'm a huge fucking faggot please stab my face.
Beep.
>>
>>1702964
But I didn't do anything with a woman, so I can't be a fag.
>>
>>1702964
>Now who wants a free level up says "I'm a huge fucking faggot please stab my face"
Technically I'm already a dexfag so I've already gone too deep.
Aren't we getting a level up after we kill the dolls though?
>>
>>1702964
that sounds like bait, OP
>>
>>1702964
Your a huge fucking fagit, I will punch your face. All the faces. No face will go unpunched.
>>
>>
>>1702969
Request granted.
The tin can has been reduced to critical condition and will explode if somebody don't fix it.
>>
>>1702983
Knew it
>>
>>
>>1702983
Mrrf bzzt. Eeeerrrrrrrr beeeeeep. Booop.
Bing. Bing.
>>
>>1702983
Don't worry, I can blast him with a healing cannon shot!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
Anyway. Combo ing the doll and whatnot
Total bonus comes down to: 68
Total damage: 29
The doll has 20 Speed
Roll for prosperity
>>
Rolled 12 (1d15)
>>1703000
nice trips
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>1703000
R E K T
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1703000
So Doll, did you prepare for this inevitability?
>>
>>1702990
I'm always forgetting Oswell
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>1703000
I wonder what he's writing in his will.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1703000
>>
>>1703008
"ur a fagit"
>>
>>1703014
If he wrote that, then it's clear he doesn't mind us taking his stuff.
>>
The doll was destroyed, only one left.
Now it's the robutt's turn.
Robutt must now roll 1d10 before acting.
Get >5 to not explode
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1703027
>>
>>1703038
Save my AI chip plz
>>
>>1703038
I guess he finally bing'd his last bing.
>>
>>1703042
Somebody catch that thing
>>
>>1703043
But how was his bang?
>>
>>1703055
I got it!
>>
>>1703055
Roll to catch?
>>
>>1703055
I'll help if the others miss it.
>>
>>1703055
Biiiing
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>1703058
>>1703061
>>1703062
>>1703067
Yes. Roll to snatch
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1703084
Here we go.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1703084
Rolling for safety
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>1703084
Snatch
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>1703084
>inb4 it lands in the sewer grate
>>
>>1703096
Congrats. You have Snatch.
>>
>>1703105
Thanks. Now to store it somewhere safe until we can get Golem repairs.
>>
>>1703105
Open Snatch
>>
>>1703110
You can't do that, you don't ahve a body and your AI core is still falling
>>
fucking rouge AI placeholders from less revelant game I tell ya
>>
>>1703126
Bing Bing
>>
>>1703126
Shit. Time to get the AI core.
>>
>>1703127
Ey! I actually behaved this time!
>>
>>1703127
Yes, I too hate that shade of the color red
>>
>>1703126
Didn't I roll to catch it, however?
>>
Rolled 10, 10 = 20 (2d10)
>>1703130
Anybody able, roll 1d10 to catch the AI core
For real this time
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1703150
Fug
>>
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1703150
Ho' shit.
2 10s. What's the 2nd one for?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1703150
It's going into the sewers I just Know it
>>
>>1703157
>1
sewer time
>>
>>1703153
Im always curious
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1703150
Well, RIP.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1703150
Rolling to not get crushed
>>
>>1703153
Rouge is a type of red
>>
>>
>>1703176
You're rolling to make yourself bounce off safely, at least that's how it went last time.
>>
>>1703150
AND SO
The doll lying on the ground was the one to catch it.
The second roll was for its. lol
Now it's JOseph's turn.
>>
>>1703176
I rolled to save ourselves a few threads ago. Its possible you depressed cuck
>>
>>1703180
>tfw the tripped over Doll managed to catch it.
>>
>>1703184
It really makes you think.
>>1703180
Well, uh, that might be bad news, since he now basically has a hostage.
>>
>>
>>1703190
He's still tripped over, we got some time.
>>
>>1703199
It was a 10. Ties lose no matter what
>>
>>1703180
Insert our robot's AI chip into Doll robot
>>
>>1703207
Dolls are cursed.
>>
>>1703213
It's okay, you're already cursed.
>>
>>
Where's that darn Joseph
>>
>>
>>1703217
Holy shit, why does that doll have a gun?
>>
>>1703220
It aint at half health yet you math school dropout
>>
>>1703230
Her name is Jamie and she's got a gun
>>
>>1703243
I'm sure that the doll wouldn't like people assuming its gender, Oswell.
>>
>>1703245
What gun
>>
>>1703256
take a look at his other hand before going for a chop
>>
>>1703253
look at that smooth figure and slim waist and tell me you don't see window model on their resume. Probably a hussy
>>
>>1703258
You really gotta stop talking visual gags seriously, man. Bad for your health.
>>
>>1703256
The gun that its hiding under its cloak! At least chop off the arm not holding the golem core to help us fight it.
>>
>>1703267
now you're in for it
DOUBLE CHOP WITH THE AXE AND CLEAVER
>>
>>
>>1703267
In all honesty, as someone who's played NAPaladin qsts quite a bit, visual gags are usually actually happening/real.
And if they weren't meant to be, players like to riff on them and so they usually end up becoming real anyway.
>>
>>1703281
>just go for the chop, boss
>DOUBLE CHOP WITH THE AXE AND CLEAVER
>post was replying to a Jon player.
In his delirium Joseph swings his weapons at Jon
Jon and Joseph roll against eachother
Joseph roll 1d15 whiel Jon roll 1d10
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1703292
Wew lad
>>
Rolled 5 (1d15)
>>1703292
Don't EVER TELL ME VISUAL GAGS ARE FAKE AGAIN JON
CHESTOOOOOOOOOO
FWOOOOOOOOSH
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1703292
Quality teamwork you have right there. I'll go in and intercept the blow for Jon.
>>
>>1703300
Thanks, Wilda. You saved me the trouble from my lower odds.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d15)
>>1703297
>>
>>1703300
Thanks for the assistance, although seems I'm still gonna get axed a question
>>
>>1703300
>>1703297
>>1703305
Joseph caused Wilda to be reduced to 8/18 HP
Joseph is then arrested for child abuse
>>
>>1703310
well guys
looks like us Joseph players can't play anymore
>>
>>1703310
Wait, aren't the cops vampires here?
>>
>>
>>1703310
It's just a scratch wound, since it was a 18+5 countering a 12+7. Also, is that officer wearing a mask as well?
>>
>>1703325
alright, OP
bring us back to chopping the doll please
we gotta make progress this thread
>>
>>1703325
Oh Shit two of our party member are getting kidnapped
>>
>>1703325
Glowing red eyes! He's trying to kidnap Joseph!
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1703327
Progress is a lie created by the ruling class to control the peoples.
Anywyay roll 1d15
Doll has +20 Speed
You have +12 Power -2 debuff
>>
Rolled 8 (1d15)
>>1703339
FWOOSH!
>>
Rolled 8 (1d15)
>>1703339
>>
>>1703342
>>1703350
The thing rolled over and dodged the axe. Now it's Horace's turn.
>>
>>1703360
I'm going to ask Yahweh to bless our rope with binding properties for tying the doll up.
>>
>>1703376
Oh? We gonna bodynap it for Oswell's waifu?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1703376
Roll to make rope into holy binding rope
Horace has 7 Gotta Go Fast + 5 Prayers = 12 Bonus
Rope has +10 Atheism
>>
>>1703385
We also need a wig and makeup
>>
>>
>>1703392
True, if we can uncurse them.
>>
>>1703392
Rope has been turned into Holy Binding Rope.
Now it's Wilda's turn.
>>
>>
>>1703386
>>1703392
>>1703397
If we somehow can't combine the golem AI core with the doll, we can at least sell it to the Hunter Merchant to help develop anti-doll stuff.
>>1703404
>>1703408
I'll try to make Oswell sip two sips of the Speed potion instead, so that he has the chance to capture the doll instead.
>>
>>1703412
>Beer Funnel Hat
>>
>>
>>1703419
Yes, but it has been shown that it rolls with its speed stat to defend itself. That, and I'm debuffed while Oswell isn't.
>>
>>1703424
18 vs 20 is pretty decent, but if you want to maximize your chances then that works.
>>
So waht is yourrrrr action
>>
>>
>>1703436
Make Oswell drink two sips of the speed potion, so that he can go and tie the doll up.
>>
>>1703440
Roll 1d10 for how much of a bonus it gives
>>
>>1703440
Which sounds like a plan to me. If we get the golem in there, that would be a major power boost to him. Or if we put the waifu in there, that would be great.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>1703444
Who rolls?
>>
>>1703443
Oswell now has 22 Speed
It is now Oswell's turn
>>1703449
Cool
>>
>>
>>
>>1703457
I Have the NEED. The NEED for SPEED.
Jump onto Doll with the Rope. Tie him down in a hog tie.
That sounds good?
>>
>>1703468
Yep. Then we can get our shit and loot the place in peace.
>>
I hope there is some way to get a new body after fight if I'll survive
>>
>>1703468
"Do that and this thing gets it!"
The doll may not be able to resist to tying down, but it can have a chacne to stab the AI core before it's tied down.
>>
>>1703485
"Sounds like good odds for me"
>>
>>1703485
do we actually care about that AI core?
>>
>>1703485
We can just buy a new golem, since they are supposed to be spendable and all that jazz. That, and his shilling was getting annoying.
>>
>>1703485
Eeehh... Honestly, the pros outweigh the cons here
>>
>>
Truly, does anybody actually care enough to save the golem?
>>
>>
>>1703514
do a flip faggot
>>
>>1703514
probably not
>>
>>1703514
I'm just going to go for it. if We save it awesome. if not we'll figure something out
>>
>>1703514
The golem should just go and save itself, if they are still around.
>>
>>1703531
No don't, that's what got you attacked last time.
Unless you want to get patronage whenever you shill like when I ask our God for help.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1703519
>do a flip
The Doll flips the core into the air, then aim its blade at it.
Since it's Oswell' turn, he can try to save it by rolling 1d10, not rolling 1d10 to not save it
Doll: 20 Speed
Oswell: 22 Speed
>>
>>1703551
Sure.
Remember your -3 debuff though
>>
>>1703536
Do product placement starring God then.
Are you still deep in heresy? You have no friends? No goal in life?
JOIN THE HOLY CRUSADE.
WE NEED YOU IN THE HOLY CRUSADE.
We got all equipment! And nuns are cute!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEkgyfOn8zI
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>1703545
"Draw"
>>
>>
>>1703555
"Okay...Head or tails?"
>>
>>1703565
If we're talking about the same robot, it is probably tails
>>
>>1703565
"Tails"
Whips rope around like a tail
>>
>>1703574
"Heads"
then the Doll's head explodes
>>
>>1703589
Ah. Seems like they are made with the purpose of not being taken as prisoners. At least now we got some holy rope now.
>>
>>1703589
Look left. Looks Right. collapses doll body into a pack
"Ok Then. ... So what do we do with the poker chip?"
>>
>>1703589
Nice
Let's look for loot
>>
>>1703591
And so the battle is finished and everyone has internal bleeding.
>>
>>
>>1703612
Also bring the head exploded doll corpse along too, it's in mostly good condition.
>>
>>1703610
I know what fixes internal bleeding, medical shots from my cannon hat!
>>
>>1703589
Well... Shit, it was a good effort.
Set about heading everyone and gathering the loot.
>>
>>1703615
You think we can snag a head from one of the others? They might have an intact head.
>>
>>
>>1703625
I think we need Joseph to decap one properly if we are to get a doll's head, honesty.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1703617
>>1703617
Roll 5d10 to make it a healing round.
Hat gives a +2
>>
>>1703633
make it a pretty one
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1703634
>>
>>1703645
>>1703650
And so they were healed.
Except for 1 non-healing round heading straight for WHOEVER'S NOT ACTIVE RIGHT NOW
>>
>>1703660
So... The robot?
>>
>>1703660
OH SHIT
>>
>>1703660
RIP inactive person.
>>
>>1703660
...Bob the Vampbeast?
>>
>>1703660
so Bob the vampire. nice shot
>>
>>1703663
If the robot's players stay silent.
Yes.
>>
>>
And so, the cannonball flew and somehow ricochet'ed off the ground and up into the ceiling, go through several floors and then ending up in Bob's asshole
>>
>>1703700
Haha
Loot the dolls, OP
I wanna see the Merchant soon
>>
>>
>>1703700
Nice shot. Who has a ladder and feels like sequence skipping?
>>
>>1703700
Could We climb the hole to the higher rooms using the holy rope?
>>
>>
>>1703706
Stop hitting me with your observations of the truth
>>
>>1703711
It's a very small hole.
#innuendo
But seriously though it's a hole unfit for any of the hunters to traverse through
>>
>>1703717
Could we take a pick to the hole and make it wider? like one story
>>
>>1703705
Now who wants to roll for loot
>>
>>
>>
>>1703721
They can go for the loot
>>
>>
>>1703721
my luck's been hot tonight
>>
>>1703720
>inb4 we start mining the place.
>>
>>1703720
Of course, since this castle has a layout of stronger enemies are in higher levels, sequence breaking just means you get to fight stronger enemies sooner at your current levels
>>
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>1703744
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1703744
My dice glow with an awesome power!
>>
>>
>>1703747
Oswell roll 1d5 for loot:
5: Equips
4: Gold
3: Items
2: Crud
1: Nothing
100: A gf
>>
Rolled 1 (1d5)
>>1703757
This time gf for sure!
>>
>>1703760
>1
1.00 that counts right? no more luck it seems. sorry mates
>>
>>1703760
RIP.
>>
>>1703757
>>1703760
So much for your 'hot luck'
>>
>>1703760
And then there were none
>>
all well anyone for sequence breaking? or continue forward?
>>
>>1703775
Wow, it's fucking nothing, rip
Well, best to head back I guess
>>
>>1703775
...You know what, I guess it's time to do some bullying. I will take Oswell's hat, and only give it back to him once he doesn't fuck up something like this.
>>
>>1703775
Op Question: what do we see before us?
>>
>>
>>
>>1703795
I'm down for this. maybe he'll have a pick axe
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1703792
>>1703795
>>1703797
>>1703790
Roll 1d10 to not trip on the way back to the outpost
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1703802
Into what? The hole down into the dungeon?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>1703802
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1703802
>1d10
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1703802
lets make this short. they might regroup
>inb4 lost in castle
>>
>>1703803
>>1703805
>>1703806
>>1703808
The hunters have returned to the outpost.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
Hey Merchant
Got any cleaver upgrades for me? Something like an elemental upgrade to set it on fire maybe
>>
>>1703819
Hey HM, our robot fell for one of OP's tricks. Do you have anything on sale that can be ran by a AI core?
>>
>>1703819
Great. I am going to pass out now. Have fun spending the money.
>>
>>1703819
Got a spare robot body or something
>>
>>
>>1703819
Do you have salt, holy water, 5 candles, a pretty head and a wig?
>>
>>1703829
"Tell him you don't have any"
"Sorry, I don't have any of those"
"pffthehehe"
>>
>>1703833
Hey, don't take advice from Broseph, what kind of masks do you got, Merchant?
>>
>>1703833
What about masks for masks, so that your mask can be covered as it covers your face?
>>
>>
>>1703830
Anything that boosts power, speed, and/or special is appreciated. (Plan was to get that fancy kick move that uses power+speed when leveling) Failing that, armor is nice as dying is bad.
>>
>>1703836
"I don't have any, I told you, pfffft"
"ehehehe"
*2 grown men snickering*
>>1703838
"Pretty good right now, hah"
>>
>>1703846
>Failing that, armor is nice as dying is bad.
Pfft. It's like you don't even want to nearly die every fight.
>>
>>1703849
god damn it you two
just ask for cleaver/axe upgrades and possibly better armor plates
>>
>>1703849
Come on, what about actually good hats or the likes?
>>
>>1703855
"How did that happen?"
>>
>>1703861
someone asked for a free level up, merchant
hmm, ask the merchant if he's got any gunpowder weapons like a one shot pistol
>>
>>1703861
He said he was a 'faggot' and wanted to be stabbed in the face. He got stabbed in the face and ended up exploding.
>>
>>
>>1703861
Cameo from other universe.
>>
>>1703877
What universe
>>
>>
>>1703866
"Only for the Sniper class"
>>1703867
>>1703868
"Sucks then. Now do you want a new body for it or what?"
>>
>>1703879
the one where everyone died to some skellies.
don't mind me. AI malfuctions
Can I have new body please? Without remote controls
>>
>>1703886
What bodies do you got for it? Got anything small and Special-focused?
>>
>>1703886
I see.
Cleaver upgrade/Shield upgrade then
>>
>>1703889
That's this universe you retard
>>
>>
>>1703893
Shared universes, man.
>>
>>1703900
It's not even a shared thing, just different points in time
>>
>>1703893
I fail to connect the dots.
what do you expect from this cheap AI anyway
I have only 640KB of memory
>>
>>1703891
"I have a ball that does nothing but scream in pain"
>>
>>1703903
So what happens to the Vampires and Vampire Hunters at the Humans and Aliens Quest?
>>
>>1703905
Sounds annoying
I'd throw that into the trash
>>
>>1703905
Is it agood pain?
>>
>>1703905
... ... ... How much?
>>
>>1703906
Died due to poor public healthcare
>>
>>1703904
>I fail to connect the dots
>When it was made clear that this is the same universe that the King is in, and how the other adventure thing was set in the same universe.
You really making me think here.
>>1703905
Hmmm, what can it do?
>>
>>1703911
"10 gold coins"
>>
>>1703915
Too expensive
>>
>>1703915
I choose mystery box
>>
>>1703915
throw in a gagging scarf and I'll buy it
>>
>>1703915
Like I said before, what abilities can it do? We aren't buying something that will just shill products at us and stuff.
>>
>>1703919
>>1703923
"It yells. All it does is yell "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" in constant pain and agony. It can't say anything else"
>>1703921
"For 1 extra coin, sure."
>>
>>1703926
Show us some actual designs for the Golem, Merchant
Is there one that looks like a Hunter instead of a giant box?
>>
>>1703926
...Eeeeeh, what other options do you have on offer for a new golem body?
>>
>>1703926
Pay gold. Put gagging rag into it's mouth. put in pack. I feel good about this purchase
>>
>>
>>1703930
Party now has this much Gold left.
>>
>>1703934
Nono you don't understand this is a good investment. Trust me. On my side of fire it seems to have worked out fine
>>
>>1703938
...Wait, before the transaction, we had 71 gold. Is he trying to rip us off?
>>
>>
>>1703947
But the screaming robot head costs 10 gold. 10+1 equals 11, 71-11 equals 60, not 59.
>>
>>1703938
Well, alright
Show me some Axeman upgrades, Merchant
>>
>>1703947
>What can this do in combat?
"Yell so much that creatures with eardrums may be stunned"
>>1703953
The 1 gold was taken by me. As tax. the OP tax
>>
>>
screw you guys
>>
>>1703958
You can't tax us, only the King can! It's his laws that this merchant follows, after all.
>>
>>
>>
>>1703963
Fine, have your 1 gold back, bleh
>>1703964
"Oh the pain enhances the screams, it's what makes it so potent. Now you can shove the AI core into that thing and we can move onto other equipments for the rest of the party, or we can take a look at some more Golem bodies"
>>
>>1703969
Move onto equipment for the rest of the party
>>
>>1703969
If there's no objection from the golem, we can go on to buy some equipment now.
>>
>>1703975
rubs AI chip. it doesn't seem to be responding so I think we're good
>>
>>
>>1703971
>>1703975
"No objections? Then let's move on. First the whiner over there. How about a cleaver upgrade? Or change it into a Throwing Axe? Or perhaps a bigger shield?"
>>
>>1703991
how much for all of those, merchant
also hey, you told me I couldn't have any mask upgrades, but you've got all this
>>
>>1703991
What about having some smaller throwing axes to throw, like with Oswell and his collection of throwing knifes.
>>
>>1703969
If we split the gold evenly, then we each get 11 gold with remainder, if we exclude a person then it's 14 gold with remainder. Oswell and Wilda gets a discount of sorts from relative ties and membership.
Either the gold that was just spent was from Golem's fund, the party remainder with a dip into someone's fund, or it was from Oswell's fund.
>>1703991
>>1703988
I was busy checking on our gold. We can go onto Golem's bodies once they finish with their equipment.
>>
>>1703993
"Well yeah. I said no masks....I didn't say I didn't have any...weapons or shields...pffffftt"
"ehehehhe"
*2 grown men snickering some more*
>>
>>
>>1704002
...A mask is basically a shield but attached to the face. Can't you put some holes in a shield so that Joseph can see through it?
>>
>>1704002
god damn it
A collection of throwing axes might be nice if we can throw them in succession like Oswell
Put me in for that if it does more damage than the cleaver upgrade, otherwise, bigger shield
>>
>>1704008
"pfffft, yeah...suuure"
"Here put this on, Joseph kkhhhrmmmmhehehe"
*2 grown men snickering even more*
>>
>>1704017
yo what the fuck
>>
>>1704017
Do yall have pick axes?
>>
File: I'veBeenWaitingForThis.png (63KB, 525x353px) Image search:
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>>1704017
And that's when the lie is revealed: You DO have masks for sale, but you REFUSE to sell them to Joseph for one reason or another! Now please, actually show him what masks you have for sale.
>>
>>1704027
"Yeah you're right. I do have masks.....Tribal masks!"
*2 grown men snickering so ahrd it's almost a full on laugh*
>>
>>1704039
what the fuck
>>
>>
>>1704039
But they are still masks, are they not? Before you were saying you didn't have any masks, but here you are showing that you DO have masks!
>>
>>1704046
"Yeah! TRIBAL MASKS! Eheheheh!"
"AHAHAHAHAHA"
"HOHOHOHO"
"Ehe"
"Anyway, cleaver upgrade is 5 Gold, Big Throwing Axe is 10, Big Shield is 10, Small throwing axe to throw like throwing knives are 1 gold each"
>>
>>1704059
Are they cursed Tribal masks?
>>
>>1704059
Cleaver Upgrade and Big Shield to protect the teammates then.
also god fucking damn it, what would that tribal mask even look like on me?
>>
>>1704066
It looks exactly like how it looks in here. The mask is bigger than Joseph's body, having the limbs kinda poking out like this
>>
>>1704071
but what if you downscaled it
>>
>>1704071
So could he just headbutt people with a tribal mask that large?
>>
>>1704082
why is there like 4 now
can't there be a mask that fits the size of my face?
>>
>>1704082
...Need more masks, honesty.
>>
>>1704083
"No....because you're fat"
>>
File: 1499463100165.png (8KB, 500x500px) Image search:
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8KB, 500x500px
>>1704083
I mean, I found pic related two threads ago, and it's in our inventory. If you really want a different mask, you could just wear this instead.
>>
>>1704088
The FUCK did you say to me bro?
>>
>>1704090
"Yeah you heard me fatty"
>>
>>1704089
Isn't that your cousin's mask, Wilda? Looks like it belongs to someone.
>>
>>1704088
...Let me remind you that I'm prepared to beat your ass up properly, if you don't lay off those insults being thrown at my 'bro' Joseph over here.
>>
>>1704094
PUNCH BROSEPH SO HARD IT CRACKS HIS MASK
>>
>>1704089
I like the design at least
>>
>>
>>1704105
Isn't overescalating minor banter into outright conflict something that ALL adventuring parties do, however?
>>
>>1704098
Anonymous throws a punch.
I did jack shit.
>>
>>
>>1704113
>I did jack shit.
As always, OP.
>>
>>1704119
But I do jack off though
>>
>>1704121
And some people consider 'jacking off' to be doing jack shit, as well.
>>
>>1704121
Naturally.
>>
>>1704117
>for real though
Ok
Joseph punches Broseph for real
It did 0 damage
>>
>>1704129
well okay
>>
>>
>>1704129
Are we getting kick out of the tavern now?
>>
>>
>>1704131
"Okay"
>>
>>1704145
Damn, way too strong
>>
>>1704145
All I can say is prepare yourself, Joseph.
>>
>>1704152
oh shit
PREPARE TITANIUM BODY QUICKLY
>>
>>1704152
...Is that-
Oh. Oh no.
>>
>>1704159
Prepare a fighting stance
>>
>>1704159
If you actually do what I think you'll do, I swear...
>>
>>
>>1704159
Attempt to drag our axe man back
"Dude just stay calm man. now not the time to fight"
>>
>>1704164
Nigga he's going to chase after him after he finishes. He seems real mad.
Also you should drag your tag back on.
>>
>>1704170
We can fix this later
"Don't mind our friend he's been antsy since the dugeon. He'll really tired and wand up. He's not himself. He's like totally sorry"
>>
>>1704174
Should we run or barricade our rooms once we drag him back?
>>
>>1704176
I'm for running. Barricading our rooms would make even more of a scene
>>
>>1704160
>>1704164
"Joseph. Titanium body renders the first hit null and the subsequent 5 hits into 1 damage each. But if an attack that hits for 25 HP and up goes through it"
>>
>>
>>1704189
How does it turn pink? I thought it only does on crit-fails.
Also I could get some help from the Altar to dispel it.
If you're going to stay here then let me bless your shield before he deals too much damage.
>>
>>1704184
If you don't stop the countdown, I swear...
>>
>>1704189
"...I do 14 damage, Joseph. Counting down doubles that, Joseph."
>>
>>1704197
I'm going to run to the Altar to get some help. Uh, stay safe Joseph.
>>
>>1704197
ALRIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
ELDRITCH TIME, AND INTERCEPT THE BLOW!
>>
>>1704197
He's winding up. ... Please don't die Joseph
>>
>>
>Getting into a fight with our hunter comrades
Why?
>>
>>1704205
Who?
>>
>>1704205
Because it's not a adventure thing until we end up acting like idiots and fight between ourselves.
>>
>>1704204
Paul + Oswell drag this thing outside?
>>
>>1704209
I guess. I dunno, somewhere safe and with enough space for this.
>>
>>1704212
I mean if they're going to fight might as well have it where damage is at a minimum
>>
>>1704214
Should they fight outside when it'shigh noon?
>>
>>1704216
Cowboy whistling
>>
>>1704203
>>1704201
"Eldritch, smheldritch"
Joseph has been KO'd
>>
>>1704222
Y̧̛̰͍̭͉͙̦͎̘̖̏̀̏̄́̚O̴̡̥̙͈̼̝̻̘͖̒͐͑͊̓U͈̗̬̖̝̪̻͂͊͛̉̿͑ W̵̛̠̮̱̗͉͌̇̏̑͌̓̚͝I̢̛͉̞͖̤͙̯͎͓͆̃̓̃̇̕͠͞L̪̘̳͉̝̰̻̬̤̰̈̊͐̃̃̏̾̂L̛̛̛̖̜̞̠̻̦͙̙͌̇̏̎͠͝ P͖̘͉̞̖̣͌̐̂̂̎̎̎̄̄̓A͍͕̠̘̓͛͒͛́͘͟͠͝Ý̴͓̜̞͇̜͎̱́͊̚͘͢͜ F̛̹̫̫̜̯̠̋̃͋̎̉͊́̂͢͝Ǫ̭̠̖͙̮̠̯̰͋̀̋̍̀̓̐̕͢R̷̳̬̤̪̘̍͐̈́̋̑͊͂̚͡ T̸̨̢̹̪̍̄̓͂́̇̍́͜H̶͚͕̻̹̼̞̣̹̉̍͑͂̌̀̈́̓̒͝A̧̧̢͓̺͚̔͊̒́̄̚T̵̘̺̖̭̼̭̑̏̇͐̓̎͟͝
>>
>>1704222
well, that was pretty good and good time for me to sleep
this makes me want to get give em til the count of 5 as quick as possible
>>
>>
>>1704222
"Apologies"
pick joseph off the ground. drag him into a bed. sleep it off?
>>
>>1704230
>>1704228
Joseph is dragged away
>>1704224
"Sure, here"
Wilda gains 1 gold
>>
>>1704236
Y̶̖̭̹̜̤̖̒͐͂̀̑͜ͅͅO̳̙̦̿͊̄͆̊͆̚͜Ȗ̷̡̯̣̮̮̼̠̬́̑̇͠͠ R̢̯̯̳͈͓̗̥̝͂̾̐̿̕͜E̡͈̼̯̭͔̓͌̌͐́̉A̧̛̺̟̖̮͈͎̩̿͂̊͒̒͊͗L̥͍̜̰͇̈̃̍̆̑̕͟͝͝Ĺ̨̮͓̜̥͚͗̎́̑̕͘͝Ý̛̝̱̠͔͈̠̼͚̔͊̑͘͜ L̨̳̻͔͔̉̾̈́̾́̄I̸̭̳̝̻͎̞̓̋͗̆͂͡K̛̞̣͍̟͚̗̩͚͉̈̈̓̀̾́̌̏Ȩ̟̪̬̪͓̰̱͂́̽̏̿ T̘̥͎͓͚͔̗̎͒́̕͠Ö̷̡̢͇̹͚̞͕̥͎̦̐̂̀̊̌͡ T̵̻͖̥̥͕͑͆̓̾̃͛̓̀͂E̳̳̪̖̳̗͛͂͋͂̂̏̍̒M͕̰̣̆͑̏̕͜͟ͅP͉̖̱͍͚̑̑̋̂̍̓̍̈͜͞T̴̢̯͔͙̳͉͎̞̩̃̏̎̑͢͠ F̨̬̹̝̯̪͇͎͑̾͆͗̐̽̓̎̇̾͟ͅĀ̷̧̢̛̦̠̞̩͈̆͂̈́́̊͋͠͞Ṯ̥̹͎̼̬̄̂̋͐̊̽̄͘̚E̷̘͕̤̬̞͈͚͎͌̋͊̽̕͡͠͞ͅ,̜̜̺̞͋̓̃͆̿̉̐͘̚ͅ D̸̜̙̮̱͈̼͇̫́͒̄̌̀̾̀͘ͅO̴͓̫̱͇̝͔̖̯͗͌́̐́̒͢͢N̷̨̰̻̘̈̋͗̓́̕͘͜'̴̨̨̤͚͙͐͆͑͒̽̐͠ͅṮ̺͇͉̩̥̘̱̑̈́̉̂͛ͅ Y͕̳̭̮̩̺̓̐̾̀̀͋̚Ō̡̼̙͇͔͋̍̀͛̚͜U̝̣͈̩͉̣̇͊̎͒̔?
Let see how he can handle the screech of an Eldritch being!
>>
>>1704236
Now to check up on how the others are doing.
>>
>>1704237
To continue viewing this encounter, buy the "Extra Fights DLC"
>>
>>1704245
>To continue viewing this encounter, buy the "Extra Fights DLC"
TOOOOOODD
>>
>>1704250
MEANWHILE, IN THE NEXT ROOM
[muffled sounds of conflict]
"So, who wants to buy some equipment?"
>>
>>1704258
Got any furs?
>>
>>1704258
I know you have spare OuttaBudgetto Golem in stock
>>
>>1704262
"Yes. What for?"
>>1704271
"Normal belts or magic belts?"
>>1704265
Behind the merchant lies a crate labeled "crate of golems". If the other hunters is interested in it, they can ask him about it
>>
>>1704280
I really want to know what happens if we decided to wear all the furs and belts.
>>
>>1704280
"Over coat. It get chilly in the vampire castle. Btw" Show him the AI chip. "We got this poker chip and we think it owns in a robot. Do you know wnything about that?"
>>
>>1704286
You turn into a jRPG character
ba dum tish
>>
>>
>>1704290
"Ah yes. The core of the Golem. Since it lost it body, I can give you a new one if you're willing to pay for it"
>>
>>
>>1704297
"Pay. ugh ok how much? what kind of price ranges are we talking about?"
>>
>>1703700
remove cannonball from ass, heal ass, contemplate cannonball.
background action: Bob has coated all the doll's weapons in a mixture of weed potion and habanero sauce. The dolls are now concerned that Bob may have "issues".
>>
>>1704301
"Lemme open this up to check"
>>1704310
"Bob, the dolls have taken to call you "a fucking weirdo". Stop being a weirdo"
>>
>>1704317
So what's inside? We don't need to see them physically, we could go for a list and look at the ones that seem interesting.
>>
>>1704317
Yes,well... the path to success is never smooth, Bat. We all must suffer slings and arrows in life's journey. Like this cannonball that shot up through the floor and into my ass. (of all things!)
This is merely one of many experiments to see what concoction is effective against those Damn Hunters. This current brew of weed potion and habanero sauce should cause both decrease in mental faculty as well as an extreme burning sensation in open wounds.
By the way, do you think you could round up some of your friends who might want a shot at the Hunters?
>>
>>1704331
"These"
>>
>>1704317
Bob just gone bonkers after Mark died
We need to put him out of misery
>>
>>1704336
*Muffled "CHOSE THE CANNON" heard from the room over*
>>
>>1704337
(disdainful sniff) And you should have stayed out of yours.
>>
>>1704336
and which one party can actually afford?
>>
>>1704336
I have a feeling we're only going to be able to afford the OuttaBudget model
>>
>>1704342
"Depends, depends"
>>
>>1704346
We might be actually able to splergage here. I'm liking the hammerer version
>>
>>
your money, you decide.
tho not cannon please. that thing needs to be mounted on shoulders
>>
>>1704360
You have your own share, which I think is the part we're refunding for something more useful.
>>
>>1704351
"No refunds. Only buybacks at a reduced price"
>>
>>1704364
Dualwielding is for faggots
can I opt in to hammerer?
>>
>>1704364
Coffee Please
HunterChamp Buy
>>
>>
>>1704379
yeah I was going for all the stats but wall smashing is fun too. I mean we can totally afford it and all
>>
>>
>>1704383
what are floors but horizontal walls?
>>
>>1704375
Then the merchant wheels out a fift model
>>
>>1704389
Ho' shit. So that was the mystery box.
>>
>>1704389
... ... ... looks to group. What do you think? We could dump our entire budget on a top class model
>>
>>
>>1704399
Style, also you can put spirits in it. making it more effective
>>
>>
>>1704392
"No, what was in it is this rib eye steak"
*nom*
>>1704399
"After 3 turns it can double its stats"
>>
>>
>>1704406
It is a sacrifice worth making
>>
>>1704406
"Preddy good"
>>
Its between Hammerer or Hunter Chan Bot. It's up to a vote. Hunter Bot Chan is our entire gold budget. I want to go with Hunt Bot Chan, but I also understand the needs of the party and will not be dismayed not going with that pick.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1704421
"Adds [my roll] to all stats, materializes whatever the spirit was using as a weapon, can enter a relationship with a material being, make a sandwich, and some other stuff I probably forgot"
>>
>>1704429
overpriced garbage
gimme hammerer with cannon attached on shoulders
>>
>>
>>1704431
"Now I don't appreciate it when somebody talk smack about my products"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
Rolling for Priest at the Altar discovering Oswell has a ghost waifu and condemning him as someone who consorts with undead.
>>
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1704441
>>
>>
>>
>>1704448
We need equipment to survive the vampire's castle. and I have used my throwing knifes to great effect. Or do you not remember the steel flames episode?
>>
>>
>>1704441
>>1704444
The Priest at the Altar discovers Oswell has a ghost waifu and condemns him as someone who consorts with undead....bly shooting a holy burning beam at the ghostly apparition to exorcise it, but then she dodged and the beam vaporized all the hunters' money instead.
>>
>>1704453
you guys locked me in a room with fire and vampires. I killed them all using the fire and throwing half my throwing knifes
>>
>>1704456
welp ... that happened I guess
>>
>>1704456
*Not-so-muffled "WHAT A HYPOCRITE" heard from the fighting happening off-screen*
>>
>>1704440
Grunt golems is where it is at, I thought you had better taste than selling some snowflake golem wannabes
>>
>>1704458
>>1704459
Also of note is that Joseph hadn't officially buy his new upgrades yet before he was knocked out. Whoops.
>>1704463
*muffled "Why do you keep yelling into the walls* heard from the other room*
>>
>>1704463
Please explain what the hypocrisy is.
>>
>>1704467
>>1704456
Shit man, that ain't important as the fact our Priest just vaporized all our dosh!
>>1704468
That didn't happen actually, did it? We spent 4 threads on that and then Bob waltz to get it all burnt.
>>1704470
You're an undead, he's a priest. You rolled for the priest and presumably informed him. He said undead are bad.
>>
>>1704468
Can we sell the doll body to get money for rations?
>>
>>
>>1704471
I informed him? how can i do that? i rolled for the priest to discover the ghost waifu, not for me telling him.
also, if cunt loli can roll for a mace that belongs to me now to smack me in the face, i can roll for a priest to notice shit.
>>
>>1704476
>also, if cunt loli can roll for a mace that belongs to me now to smack me in the face,
When was that?
>i rolled for the priest to discover the ghost waifu, not for me telling him.
It seemed like you informed him when you tried to bot him.
>>
>>1704471
Of course, you could say that the roll was a meta roll for the priest to randomly discover the ghost jsut like how Wilda roll for Bob to randomly smacked himself in the face
But then you could also say that Bob flew down and told him.
And that made Bob a snitch. And that bought him 1 turn of non-harm.
BUt Snitches get Stitches.
So the Priest fired at him too.
Bob is now on fire, he's at 2 HP and all of his stats has been reduced by 10 unless he puts the fire out
>>
>>1704480
Hm... Okay, this actually makes it mostly better. Thanks.
Now what?
>>
>>1704476
>Rolling in order to cause the party to lose all their gold is on par with a joke roll for some comedic harm
That's vampires, everyone.
>>
>>1704480
HEY, POPS
CAN YA RESURRECT ME? I'LL BE USEFUL I HONEST
>>
>>1704483
Sleep? get a fresh start in the morning
>>
>>1704480
attempting to put fire out and not bitching about meta chances like all dese bitches.
do i have to roll?
>>
>>1704485
the zapping your gold was all OP. he could very well have killed me with your mace meta shenanigans.
>>
Rolled 23 (1d50)
Other hunters roll 1d10 to see what happens next:
1-3: No money is returned
4-7: Some money is returned
8-9: Some more money is returned
10: All 60 gold is returned
>>1704486
"Fuck off you vampire dick sucking heretic. You stay in hell and you burn. And stop trying to get back into the story you attention whoring faggot"
>>1704489
Roll 1d10 against holy fire
>>
>>1704496
Last thread
>>
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1704497
Money rollIt was worth a shot, dunno maybe Pop is a bro
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1704497
>>
>>
>>1704489
>>1704495
...But you didn't, as it was supposed to be a joke roll to bully you. Hell, it at least gave you the excuse to be able to wear the Mask that looks like Mark's mask, and on the topic of right now, you could just ask for the snitching thing to be taken back, and that would likely put the fire out and return you to safety.
>>1704496
>>1696793
>>
>>
>>1704508
And since it is clear that OP really want to get rid of our massive stockpile of money, how about you just buy the Hunter-Chan mech thing, even if it is overpriced.
>>
>>1704502
>>1704503
>>1704505
Now ah could say that the merchant, being naturally attracted to money, jumped forward to save the party's coin purse, managing to snatch 40 Gold coins from the holy fire.
>>1704508
Or ah could press the rewind button before Bob's roll
>>
>>1704505
>If you got insta-killed by those meta shenanigans then I think we would've protested for a fair fight.
Sure. I believe you.
>>1704506
So why can't i say that my roll was the same thing? Why can't it be taken that it was a joke roll and i was intending for you lot to have the ghost officially sanctioned?
i could have brought up condemning Oswell for having a ghost waifu from the very beginning he got her. but i didn't. stop whining when OP throws a spanner in your works.
>>
>>1704514
Use half of them on Hammerer
No objections?
>>
>>1704518
The spanner is a metaphor for penis
>>
>>1704506
Also thanks for linking that part. I forgot to catch up to that part.
>>1704512
Yeah, sure I guess.
>>1704514
lol
That would work, I'd rather not have to deal with eliminating Bob without giving him a chance to fight because of meta shenanigans.
>>1704518
>>1704512
Apparently Wilda thinks he just wants us to buy shit until we're broke again.
>>
>>1704522
Second
>>
>>1704524
What would work? The 40 Gold?
>>
>>1704526
the merchant saving the gold. I believe
>>
>>
>>1704514
>>1704524
>>1704526
He meant the 'rewinding before Bob's roll' part, I think.
>>1704518
At least in the case with the mace, I asked if the roll was possible beforehand, and then rolled against the person who was playing Bob at that moment. You just rolled a d10 out of nowhere, and poof, nearly half of our gold is gone
>>
>>1704531
In this case he didn't intend for it to go this badly.
>>
>>1704529
Sure, rewinding
>>
>>1704534
Thanks, OP.
>>1704522
>>1704525
Okay, so let's buy the Hammerer for Golem, stick him in the AI. Give him the super mode function on will instead of needing the remote. Use buyback credit from exchanging the screaming head and scarf.
After that we sell the Doll corpse, doll fragments, vampire fragments, and vampire teeth and other shit for extra gold to get closer to the waifu bot.
>>
>>1704534
OH SHIT I REWINDED TO FAR AND NOW MARK IS STILL ALIVE
>>
>>1704540
Stop trying to sell back the screaming head. It's not happening
>>
>>1704543
AW SHIT, YOU WENT BACK TOO FAR IN TIME OP
>>
>>1704540
Other shit like the useless loot, poem box, and other items we looted these past threads but held onto.-
>>1704543
Oh shit! It's Mark! Don't mind us... Uh. We just traveled to far back in time.
>>1704545
Why not? We can still use the buyback credit for it to get a discount on Golem. We just haven't gotten him another body yet.
>>
>>1704547
Possibly, but you'll have a hammer.>what about GAR
That's way too far back, even for Mark.
>>
OH NO, THE TIMELINE HAS CHANGED! BEING FLUNG BACK INTO THE BOSS BATTLE WITH MARK, THE MERE PRESENCE OF THE HUNTERS HAVE CHANGED HISTORY!
WILDA NO LONGER HAS A HAT!
Gar still ded though
>>
>>1704555
lol
What happened to hat?
>>
>>1704555
God damn it, I liked my hat... Go stomp on Gar's grave until the timeline gets corrected.
>>
>>1704555
HOW DID I DIED THO
>>
>>1704561
It got destroyed thanks to the
Military Industrial Complex
>>1704564
Gar slipped on some piss and cracked open his skull upon falling down on a particularly sharp table edge.
>>
>>1704568
Is that the King in the background?
>>
>>1704568
>Gar slipped on some piss and cracked open his skull upon falling down on a particularly sharp table edge.
I'D SAY I LIKE THIS TIMELINE BETTER ALREADY
>>
>>1704568
...C-can we get back to the correct timeline, now?
>>
>>1704568
do I have gf in this timeline?
>>
>>1704574
Correcting the timeline
>>1704572
Gar did this while sucking on Vampire dick, due to the news of
[that one thing you like] being released for [mobile platform]
>>
>>1704579
>[that one thing you like] being released for [mobile platform]
Must've been pretty serious.
>>
>>1704579
aw come on, that's just low blow
>>
>>1704582
Well, it's a fitting end for a traitor.
>>
>>1704579
Oh wait, this timeline has been changed so much that the dominant species are chickens. So now everyone is a chicken.
>>
>>1704588
The true evil is the country fried savages
>>
>>1704586
says abomination which just want to consume everything
>>
>>1704591
OH SHIT A NIGGA, BETTER CHANGE THE TIMELINE QWUICK BEFORE YOU GET EATEN
>>
>>1704588
Even as a chicken, I remain fancy.
>>
>>
>>1704594
Lay an egg ?
>>
>>1704599
>>1704600
Oh look! A timeline where I'm NOT an asshole!
Just kidding, that doesn't exist.
>>
>>1704612
Still fairer than the realities where you are one. Hopefully the next timeline will be the correct one.
>>
>>1704594
peck that dudes eyes out
>>
>>1704612
it's hidden in mystery box
where GAR was pretty ok and didn't have echo in helmet
>>
>>1704614
Well everything looks relatively normal
>>
>>1704629
...Wait, whose that on the left?
>>
>>1704631
I dunno, some fag.
>>
>>1704629
can I still peck the guys eyes out?
>>
>>
>>1704635
Well shit, we're still in the wrong timeline. Let move onto the next one.
>>
>>1704638
Nah I'm okay with this one, this is probably one where he didn't betray us.
>>
>>
>>1704641
>Had to hurt myself to not get into evil temptations
Self-harm? Doesn't sound healthy.
>>
>>1704639
BUT THEN SUDDENLY JON GOES INSIDE AND ATE EVERYONES' EYESSSSSS
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
>>1704647
...Yeah, this is the wrong timeline, what with Jon being the eldritch being and all. Next timeline?
>>
>>1704647
I'm going to the Altar and call for an exorcist.
lol
>>
>>1704648
Possibly. This must be the budget horror movie timeline.
>>
>>1704647
I start stabbing. everyone and everything.
>>
>>1704650
>>1704648
OH LAWD THE BLOOD IS EVERYWHERRREEEEE
JJJAAAAYYYYYYSSSUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Better change the timeline again
>>
>>1704653
Hit that button, OP.
>>
>>1704646
well self harm is one way to get back to your own senses
>>
>>
>>1704655
Okay. Perhaps THIS is the correct time line
>>
>>1704659
...Wait, what's wrong with Joseph and Jon?
>>
>>1704659
what's the to your right?
>>
>>1704659
Oh wait no.
Now it's correct.
>>
>>1704659
Pulls out my swords. Demand everyone tell me about their weapons
>>
>>1704663
dis is but a scratch!
>>
>>
>>1704663
So, uh, I guess that's that. We're back in the correct timeline. Best to actually get our stuff sorted. OP, what do we have in our inventory?
>>
>>1704664
Oswell then pulls out his weapons
>>
>>1704670
...In second thought, we might not be in the correct one. This is starting to get annoying.
>>
>>1704670
Proceeds to scream
>>
>>1704674
Oh shitm sound guy fucked up in recording the screams
>>
>>
>>1704677
>>1704682
But the sidetracking stops now. Correct timeline, or else.
>>
>>1704677
I have no mouth and I must scream
>>
>>1704677
Ah yes. Finally the correct timeline. We are now back to the moment right before Bob made that roll. Hunters are deciding on what to buy and Wilda is busy fighting Joseph's brother for some reason.
>>
>>1704684
put down the gun man
>>
>>
>>1704686
I'm gonna take a nap
>>
>>1704686
How about ya'll cut to the chase and buy the Hunter-Chan golem. That way even if Bob tries to get our money vaporized, he'll vaporize nothing.
>>1704687
We're in the right timeline, so alright.
>>1704689
Not yet, still fighting him ATM.
>>
>>1704691
Yeah. I was hoping we can quickly dump and exchange all our extras so we can buy Golem to get him back in the party and be very close to the Hunter-Chan bot.
>Not yet, still fighting him ATM.
Tell us when you finish.
>>
>>1704686
And then Wilda loses.
Party can now resume to buying whatever. Weapons, armor, items, the works
>>
>>1704694
Hammerer with cannon mounted on the shoulder?
>>
>>1704694
Wait, how did Wilda lose?
>>
>>1704696
yes this thing
>>
>>1704698
You see it's because of-[to see this explanation buy the BS Asspull DLC]
>>
>>
>>1704705
He won because you thought it was a good idea to point a gun at OP
>>
>>
>>1704704
>>1704705
Either that, or he threw one of those 'broccoli burgers' at me, which is also cheating.
>>1704706
So it's bias, then?
>>
Bob tries to find other vampbeasts to recruit for the anti-hunter squad.
>>
>>1704711
You wanna see REALLL bias?
>>
>>1704713
I'll like to see you try, after I do THIS!
>>
>>1704716
oh fuck my one weakness
>>
>>1704720
At least roll if either Wilda or Joseph's brother won the fight, so that I can blame it on the dice instead of on you.
>>
"Oh yeah, before you choose on the Golem, lemme whip out the other equips for the rest of the party" said the merchants.
Aside from the Golem, other items available for purchase are:
Upgrade level 1 for Oswell's swords
Upgrade level 2 for Oswell's swords
Better throwing knives
Even better throwing knives
Fur coats for who anyone who wants to one
Armor plates, a hunter can buy up to 4 plates for their current armor
>>1704724
Roll 1d10
1-6: Broseph wins
7-10: Wilda wins
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1704732
Got anything that I could potentially buy?
>>
>>1704734
WILDA LOSES!
Also a double cannon hat
>>
>>1704732
Coat Please
60
-20 Hammer
-08 Coat
32 Left
>>
Oh wait, i gotta go for 3-ish hours.
Save your choices for next thread.
Which will start I dunno, same time as this one prolly.
Bye
>>
>>1704734
>>1704744
Damn it. Anyway, is the double cannon hat the only thing that is specialized enough for me to use, or is there anything else?
>>
>>1704752
So roughly 9 PM EST or 10 AM Malaysian time, alright. These seem to be going at a more frequent time for the threads.
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