Hell unleashed quest

>>1669032
Masturbate until you pass out

>>1669431
seconded

>>1669431
thirded

You decide that to get your shit together you should masturbate. You blow a load or two and regain your senses to realize that there are now foreign noises coming from outside your apartment. You very clearly hear scratching at your door, sharp scratching the you only hear usually from long nails on a blackboard.

How do you proceed?

>>1669783
Jump out the window

>>1669786
second

You quickly move to your window and look outside. You see no movment from the rest of your neighbors apartments but can hear muffled screams.
The door starts to whine from the force of whatever is making its way in and you decide to make a break out the back to try and make an escape.
Climbing out the window you look back through the slits of the blinds to see a large shadowy figure enter your apartment after breaking down the door.

Where do you head now that its inside and you're outside?

>>1670085
Through the nearest manhole!

You sneak down the road of your neighborhood and search for a manhole.
You try to lift it but its wedged down tight, there is no way you are getting that up off the ground.
you look back towards your apartment and in the distance you see the shadowy figure slowly wandering in the parking area out front.
Next action?

>>1678898
Beg for mercy like a bitch

You fall to your knees and beg for an escape from this hell as you wonder why this even happened in the first place.
Then you feel the rumble of the ground and the manhole rattles then flies off its place in the blacktop.
A muddy display of waste and blood fly out which catches you a little and you get sprayed by it for being too close.
you then hear the ungodly roar of a creature and look to see the shadowy creature approaching the spewing manhole.

What do you do next?

man the fk up and face the thing!

square up to it and masturbate while holding a staring competition with it

You stand up and face the monster who has finally seen you and lets out a large roar.
Charging in, you rush the creature with equal speed and expect to be crushed as it was strong enough to tear open the door.
However when you tackle the shadowy creature you find that not only were you not crushed but that you have knocked it back.
It felt like tackling a large dog that weighed maybe 50 to 60 pounds.
Your next action?

keep the momentum from the rush and knee it while its mid knock back

Quickly you regain momentum and knee the creature in the face, causing its head to explode.
It lay there motionless but its shadowy body seems to start moving back together on its own, as this happens its body starts to convulse and twitch.
As this is happening an ethereal voice speaks to you "you cannot kill the demon in this state without a proper weapon!" you then look around to try and spot who might have said this only to be met by the shadowy "demon" who has regained his head and is ready to face you once more.
Next best course of action?

*pass turn**randomise*