Ork Yoof Quest

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>166128
We'iz da greenest and orkiest ork around.

Rolled 59 (1d100)

Best of 3?
Also: WAAAAAGH, did I say that right?

File: wut da zog.jpg (25KB, 216x282px) Image search: [Google]

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>>166153
You pull back your arm, your blood boiling, ready to claim your first victory over some good 'fer nothing git, and throw it forward.

It just barely bruises it, bouncing off like a grot's punch.

>>166160
This enrages you beyond any way that could be put into words, and you stare at the spot you struck in silence, fists shaking. Teeth clenched, you tense your muscles, harder this time, and roar the only noise that you can think of.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAG--"

You're cut off as you actually break through that stupid thing, only for dirt to start pouring in. A lot of it. A lot of it, as in you're not very good at math and thinky stuff (yet), but you'd say you only have, oh, about a minute from the moment you'se started monolguin' until it's completely full and you'se starts suffocatin' 'ta death, tops. You feel like you could burrow through it pretty easily, though.

>Try to fix the hole
>Dive out into the dirt
>Write-in?

(Writeups are done after a wait of about three minutes for the sake of player consensus, with the first roll always being taken. If players don't come to an agreement, the post with the highest last reply number is chosen.)

>>166209
>>Try to fix the hole
Hopefully this translates to mechboy skills later since were "fixing" something

>>166209
>we'iz smart, look for a exit that was built by the orks before you

>>166225
You think about fixing it, but you tore it up pretty bad, and you might not be able to patch it back togetha in time.

>>166227
You decide, instead, 'ta focus 'yer thinky bits on lookin' 'fer a way out made by otha' boyz, but it's pretty dark... (Target: 60 or higher)

Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>166272
Rollin

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>166209
Dive out and escape the crappy green prison.

File: underground tunnel.jpg (51KB, 467x350px) Image search: [Google]

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>>166277
Ya look around, press yer hands on the walls, but ya can't find anythin'! Ya check twice, just ta make sure, the dirt at 'yer gut now, but nothin''s dere!

>>166278
Zog dis! Soil now at your neck, you take a deep breath in and begin to wade through it, your burly frame making it feel like you're moving through water as you burrow through the hole. As you dig, you notice a shaking every now and again that threatens to collapse your path around you, along with what sounds like tinkering 'fer metal beneath you and decidedly un-Orky voices from above, though you can't quite make out what they're saying.

>Try to make out the voices (Target: 60)
>Dig up
>Dig down
>Jus' keep swimmin'..., jus' keep swimmin'...
>Write-in?

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>166331
>>Try to make out the voices (Target: 60)

File: AuxiliaSoldier.jpg (25KB, 220x413px) Image search: [Google]

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>>166344
Pausing, you make out bits and pieces of the discussion.

"...can't bloody believe it... xenos, here of all places, in my lifetime. We... we don't even have anything to take, for the Emperor's sake! Why?!"

"Lives, son. Damned monsters only wanna kill... Emperor save us..."

"Any word on when the Guard'll arrive? We're PDF, we aren't ready for a fullscale invasion!"

"No, still no response."

"It's been a week! How?!"

"Well, don't let the officers catch you sayin' this, but the brass ain't nearly as omniscient as it'd like you to think, boy. Now keep quiet, 'n keep 'yer eyes out, the guys blowin' the eggs need a place to run if things go pearshaped."

"...Yessir."

You grin. 'Umies.

>Dig up and krump 'em!
>Dig down and check out what all 'da 'splosions about
>Keep digging forward
>Write-in?

>>166397
>Grab their legs and pull them underground.

>>166403
Supporting this

>>166403
Roll. Target: 30

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>166421

>>166425
HAHA! do we dig up afterwards and play golf with their heads?

File: Waihe'eTunnelTour-DarkWithoutFlashlights-Apr2011.jpg (325KB, 3072x1728px) Image search: [Google]

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>>166425
Before they can realize what's happening, two large, green arms suddenly sprout out of the dirt beneath them and grip a leg each with enough force that the sounds of tearing flesh and snapping bone can be heard, and pull them back down before they can begin screaming.

They're now stuck in the ground from the neck up, their legs kicking your face with the gentleness of a snot, though the gesture is still annoying. There's also the crackle of a radio, and from inside their helmets you can just barely hear the voice of another 'umie.

>Leave them there.
>Play golf using their shootas as stikks and their heads as the balls.
>Write-in?

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>166443
>>Play golf using their shootas as stikks and their heads as the balls.
FORE!
also rolling for how good a shot we make.

>>166446
Well shit....

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>166446
Support

File: golf.jpg (306KB, 800x531px) Image search: [Google]

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>>166446
Their screaming only gets worse when you climb up, and the humie on the other side of the vox starts freaking out, but dat's borin' 'ta listen to. It's time 'ta play golf! You pick up s shoota by its barrel and line up a shot, only to completely miss on the first swing.

>>166451
"Come on..." You set up again, and this time you actually hit, even if it's just a glancing swing to the side of one's helmet.

The cave starts to get all shaky, and dust, followed by rocks, start to fall your head. It's annoying, and it's made worse by the humies screamin' even louder now!

"NO! DON'T COLLAPSE IT WITH US IN IT, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF THE EMPEROR!"

>Ignore it, borin'. Now... loin up, juuuust roight...
>Toim 'ta go: go backwards, where dere's loights.
>'Toim 'ta go: go forwards, deepa in.
>'Toim 'ta go: go back inta da tunnel, quick loik!
>Write-in?

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>166473
>>Ignore it, borin'. Now... loin up, juuuust roight...
I'm gonna stick with it!

>>166480
incremental improvement I guess... i'll stick to things that move the plot along after this i guess

File: golf 2.jpg (145KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [Google]

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>>166480
Success! After noticing you broke the shoota in half last time, you pick up the other one and finally hit a 'umie right in the face, accompanied by the sound of snapping cartilage and blood dripping down onto the floor from the ruined mess that used to be his face. You think he's still conscious, amazingly enough.

You can hear what sounds like a lot of big booms from behind you, followed by a bunch of rocks hitting the floor really really hard, and it keeps getting closer.

>Ignore it, borin'. Now... loin up, juuuust roight...
>'Toim 'ta go: go forwards, deepa in.
>'Toim 'ta go: go back inta da tunnel, quick loik!
>Write-in?

>>166494
>>'Toim 'ta go: go forwards, deepa in.

>>166504
Also, I'm gonna have to sleep soon so, g'night

File: StandardLasgun.jpg (73KB, 714x214px) Image search: [Google]

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>>166504
You head deepa inside, haulin' 'yer new shoota with you. It's tiny, breaks easily, and it's pretty hard to get 'yer finger on the trigger, but ya think dis might work 'til ya find somethin' betta.

(ACQUIRED LASGUN: UNMODIFIED TARGET OF 60 OR HIGHER)

Da screams back dere reach a peak at around the time a few of da closah booms pick up, den stop. Maybe you can find 'sum grots and play again latah?

'Yer thoughts're cut off when you enter da mouth uvva large central chamber, with all sortsa flashy mechie bits strewn about the place. There's a bunch of 'umies, some armed, some not, packin' things up while uddas're shoutin' and pointin' at a big elevator in da very middle, sayin' dey needs 'ta go roight now. Dumb dumbs; if dey was Orks, all dey'd need 'ta do was listen 'ta da biggest one dere.

Dey haven't noticed you yet.

>Shoot dem atta distance (target: 80)
>Watch and wait, stick 'ta da shadows (target: 60)
>Charge in usin' da shoota as a club (dis means it'll probably break 'do) (target: 15)
>Charge in barehanded (target: 20)
>Write-in?

>>166506
Goodnight, thank you for playing!

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>166529
>>Watch and wait, stick 'ta da shadows (target: 60)
rollin for this, I wanna be a gork damn commando

File: Gretchin_in_Battle.jpg (99KB, 426x718px) Image search: [Google]

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>>166530
Ya focus really, really hard 'n try not 'ta move too much. One 'a da flashier lookin' 'umies looks yer way once, but before dey can get a closah peak, a group 'a ragged lookin gits with 'sum limpin' behind comes round da corna outta anudda stinkin' hole, firin' behind dem loik a flashgit.

"Tinies! TINIES! TINIES DOWN THE SOUTHERN TUNNNAAAAAAGH!"

Da farthest one back's shoutin is cut off with a stray slugga shot hittin' him in da back, echoed by dozens of weak little voices, echoin' da greatest word eva conceived by Orky minds.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!"

It takes all of 'yer willpowa not 'ta join in as da literal tide of grots rounds da corner, leadin' dem 'ta focus dat way and start firin' inta da horde. Grots ain't advancin' yet, but shootas gotta reload sometime...


>Shoot dem while dey's back is turned 'n its all noisy loik (target: 70)
>Keep waitin', but dose booms're gettin' mighty loud, dey is... (target: 30)
>Try ta head inta' da elevator 'n steal it (target: 50)
>Charge in usin' da shoota as a club (dis means it'll probably break 'do) (target: 10)
>Charge in barehanded (target: 15)
>Write-in?

Rolled 68, 43 = 111 (2d100)

>>166562
Try ta head inta' da elevator 'n steal it (target: 50)
then
Shoot dem while dey's back is turned 'n its all noisy loik (target: 70)

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>166562
>>Try ta head inta' da elevator 'n steal it (target: 50)

Huurhuur we 're sneaky gitz!

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>>166609
(switching back to semi-normal prose outside of orky dialogue because I feel like it works better)

Before anybody realizes it, you've dashed through the wrecked camp, earning only the passing glances and gawking of a few unarmed engineers cowering behind some crates. Hitting the big red button inside the elevator that causes a bunch of loud noises and flashy things to happen, you then decide to turn around and practice with your new shoota a bit before leaving, though all of your shots either go wide or help hit the grots (though that probably still counts, in your book).

Five equipped humies look at you, then the grots, then you again, before abandoning the barricade and rushing into the elevator doors the moment they close, coming in from the sides and stumbling out of your reach while you're still aiming down the sights. Their comrades turn to yell at them long enough for the grots to make it over the barricades and plunge their knives into their necks, to the horror of the unarmed gits.

>Roll 5d100s, target 20 (or 15, but a failed roll will make you lose the lasgun)

Rolled 35, 69, 95, 39, 46 = 284 (5d100)

>>166689

Dakkadakka! Bashbashbash! Dakkadakka!

Rolled 70, 9, 37, 94, 92 = 302 (5d100)

>>166689

File: 482px-Onlywarenemiesoftheimperium.jpg (130KB, 482x599px) Image search: [Google]

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>>166705
The moment it starts, it's over. In a flurry of blood and sweat, you bash, gouge, choke, and tear the life out of four of the five screaming soldiers with only your hands, your teef, and your shoota, leaving yourself, the remaining trooper, and the elevator interior painted in a fresh coat of red.

>>166715
Unfortunately, your shoota breaks against the wall as the last trooper jumps out of the way of your swing at the last second and takes a potshot that glances your side, though there's plenty of replacements strewn across the ground.

The last thing you see at the bottom of the chasm as the elevator ascends are the gretchins finally breaking through the makeshift barricade and stabbing and slashing at the remaining PDF, before the entire central chamber collapses in on itself just as the big metal box you're in reaches safe distance. A flood of dust rushes into the elevator from below, and you cough as you look around for where he went.

>Look for him (target 70)
>Start swinging in the fog (target 35, failure means a chance to break important things in the elevator)

Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>166734
>Start swinging in the fog

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>166734

>Look for him (target 70)

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>>166734
(I forgot to mention that any rolls under 10 are an automatic crit failure that overrides rolls before and after it.)

>>166735
>>166739
You bring your new shoota over your shoulder to gain momentum, but hit something already there! Whirling around, you see that he's dazed by the unexpected strength of the not-hit, and can barely comprehend what you're doing before you quickly line up with his head and swing again, again, and again, even after he goes down.

Now that all the gits who challenged you have been krumped, you take a moment to soak it all in. The feeling of fresh blood on your body, the screaming, the dakka, the carnage that comes from breaking something else... it's the greatest thing in the world, both the best thing you could ever ask for and the only thing you feel you could ever need. And maybe it's just the new lighting as the elevator finally reaches the surface, but you swear your skin has grown ever so slightly darker, as you think today's accomplishments over.

Around you are what appear to be the remains of a still burning forward camp on top of a hill, humie corpses strewn about like party decorations. The air smells of sulfur and copper, and you can hear the battlecry of your brothers from all directions. Climbing up onto the roof of a wrecked building, you take check of what's going on around you; this planet seems to have a lot of trees and grass and generally good, green, Orky things, but most of it has been burnt black from all the fighting. The sky, though a bit of blue peaks through now and again, is filled with smoke, which billows without end from below.

To the north, you can see a battle at a trenchline against faltering PDF, which the rest of the boyz are loving.

To the south lay the sounds of tribal drums and laughter, and you can make out the edge of a makeshift camp

To the west, you see the remains of a fresh battlefield still filled with the dead and the dying, lootaz gathering what they can.

To the east is what looks like a destroyed small town, but you swear you just saw something moving in one of the buildings.

You grin, you can't help it. Raising your looted shoota to the air, blood boiling in your veins, you scream along with everyone else.

"WAAAAAGH!!!!!"

(And that's it for tonight! I hope you all enjoyed, this is my first quest. Feel free to comment on what you liked, how I can improve, and vote for which direction to go in once I get back whenever tomorrow. See ya!)

>>166779
Quite fun! Most of the quests here are more or less crap, but I am liking this one.

>>166779
I vote the west, see if we can find anything good

This is great so far, hope to see more