You are a chihuahua.
What title has your human given you?
>>163254
Pepe
Your owner is a dickweed who named you Pepe.
What is your first step to taking over the world?
>>163307
Clean yourself up. Need to look nice for the bitches.
>>163307
Drink an entire pot of coffee.
>>163307
Assert dominance over the guy who named you Pepe
>>163384
>>163387
>>163399
You walk over to the counter. The coffee pot is too high up, you can smell caffeine, but you will need some cunning to get up here.
You walk over to your pet dickweed, Valentina. After whining for 13 minutes, she picks you up begrudgingly and seats you in her lap. Perfect.
You proceed to lick your crotch as loudly as possible, staring her down the entire time. After yelling some gibberish at you, she thrusts you off and you are back on the floor.
Picture of Valentina
Now that you have reassured your dominance and are squeaky clean, how do you proceed?
>>163531
Its time to look out the window to see if any enemies are around.
>>163531
Inspect if there's any member of the cat empire in home, we can't have scummy villains ruining your plans
>>163552
>>163559
You glance over to the backyard door, to check if Mullido has returned home. Sure enough, the stupid ball of hair is back, along with another ball of hair. Oh god, who has he brought here THIS time? Either way, both must be eliminated...
>>163622
Dig up what's in the trash and put it where Mullido sleeps.
>>163665
Both mullido and his horrible henchball trot over to his horrible carpet lair. You decide against combat, as they outnumber you. You look to the trashcan, and seize the opportunity. You run over to it, quickly, before your owner sees you, you grab...
>>163733
catnip. You will drug Mullido and friend with it and then take advantage of the situation to attack
>>163860
...Catnip? What the hell is this doing in here? You sniff it.
[Smell skill increased to level 2]
This is not catnip, you realize that this is lemongrass from your owners smoothie.
[mouthful of lemongrass acquired]
Although this will not make Mullido go crazy, you can use this as a lure...
[Carry limit exceeded]
(To try and keep this lively, I will not post another decision until a minimum of 3 suggestions are provided.)
>>163952
Sniff up where instant coffee is and make some.
>>163952
Lure the cat into the pot
>>163952
lure the cat somewhere we can ambush him
(sorry for the pause, I don't live in my moms basement.)
You hatch a devious plan. You will have Mullido kicked out of the house, however, in order to execute it, you must somehow get on to the counter without Valentina knowing... How do you do so?
>>165748
>Jump on to the counter from a nearby chair.
>>165748
Piss on the floor next to the counter, when Valentina comes to clean it up, use her as a springboard to get onto the counter
>>165748
Pull the tablecloth from the table into the chair and try to climb it, then jump to the counter.