Oh shit, You're on a boat!

>>1620889
Start singing about being in a boat

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>>1620893
Sorry for the late reply, but here you go.

>>1620907
Check our inventory.

>>1620925
Nothing but food, water, and all of the typical clothes. along with a watch and a knife. you also have some pocket link, a paper clip, a few coins, and a stick of gum, whom only god knows how long its been there.

Well, Thread closed i guess.

>>1620962
Look out into the ocean whilst singing my bonnie lies over the ocean.

>>1620936
Eat all the food faggot

>>1620962
There's an island

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>>1620962
Fuck THAT shit! I be hijacking this thread, ye scurvy barnacle-kisser! Take a long walk off a short plank, because this is my thread now!

Oh shit, suddenly, PIRATES! It's the galley of the dreaded pirate, One-Eye Tallow! And there he is, standing on the prow of his ship, pointing a cutlass down at you and grinning! He addresses you in the unviersal, nautical tongue of the Western Ocean, Seatongue.
"Avast ye yellow dog! Surely ye didn't think ye could escape me fer long at SEA?! Don't ye know I be the child o' a shell spirit and a bold admiral, born amid the crash o' thunder an' the howl o' a hurricane?! I got sea water fer blood an' grog fer me bile! Now hand over that pocket-watch o' yers! I know it be hidin' the map to the Windless Eye and by the powers, that island and all the treasure on it be on will be mine!"

>>1626444
unzip dick and use our secret superpower of high pressure pissing to urinate in his eye.

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>>1626474
One-Eye Tallow seems unimpressed as you empty your bladder over the side.
"Yarr, I'd admire yer brovado, if ye weren't so monumentally stupid. Now enough pissing around! Hand over the pocket watch or I'll come down there and take it off ye corpse!"

>>1626487
Come down here and fucking take it from me, pirate.

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>>1626490
"ARRR! At last ye show a bit o' backbone! I'll be tearin' it out o' ye an' usin' it fer a coat rack just as soon as I've got that watch!"

One-Eye Tallow leaps from the bow of his ship, towards your little boat, his cutlass held high over his head and flashing in the sunlight as he means to split your head open like a melon!

You have only seconds to react! What do you do?!

>>1626508
Jokes on you fag.

Jump on his boat and escape while leaving Captain Cuckold with the tiny one

>>1626512
How did I know you assholes would do something like that?

I gotta get to a game IRL right now, but I'll be back later to finish up.

>>1626512
This. Counter ninja jump and take his boat.

>>1626516
>>1626512
YEEAAA BOOOI steal that boat

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>I'm back early, bitches!

With a crash, One-Eye Tallow's sea-boots bit your tiny craft and you seize the momentum to soar into the air, sailing up onto the deck he recently vacated. You take the opportunity to make an expressive gesture in his direction while you're airborne.

>Part 1/2

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>>1627176
Well, you're now on the quarterdeck of Tallow's ship, the Avaricious Tart. Seems you landed on the helmsman. He's out cold. Meanwhile, Tallow is yelling some VERY uncharitable things at you from your old boat. The crew doesn't look like they've managed to figure out what the hell just happened yet.

>Part 2/2

>>1627233
Assert dominance. Piss on everything while performing helicopter Dick.

>>1627401
Are you sure about this?

>>1627421
ye be questioning the new cap'n?

>>1627421
OF COURSE IM SURE. COCKSLAP ANY MAN WHO QUESTIONS THE CAPTAINS RULE.

>>1627471
Cockslap initiating come morning. Sorry folks; I've got a laundry list of things wrong with me and I'm about ready to die tonight.

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>>1627401
Given you just urinated not five minutes ago, you can't manage anything more than a pathetic trickle. You do helicopter dick and tea-bag the helmsman though, so that's something. Unfortunately, it appears your cries of "Wooo! I'm the captain now!" have attracted the attention of the crew. They don't look happy, especially the chad-looking motherfucker in front of you.
"Ye got all o' three seconds t' drop t' yer knees and surrender, ye bilge rat. If'n ye do, maybe I'll only break two of yer fingers before we throw ye in the brig."

>>1629160
Get on your knees.

Then grab your ankles, roll backwards, and fart at the chad.

>>1629160

"Fuck you!!! I know the ancient kung fu and I can rip of your balls with just my bare hand!!!!"

>>1629160
Jerk off and splooge on him
He'll off himself guaranteed

Alright, no-one can agree, so shall I combine these, or just go with the one I personally like best?

>>1629260
Choose the one you like best. I wanna see what time of guy QM is.

>>1629350
A massive fuckin' nerd with far too much love for the Wuxia and Xianxia genres, is what. I'll give you three guesses what I'm going for, first two don't count.

>>1629354
Show us what you got.

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>>1629170
"HAH fool!" you declare, your lips moving out-of-synch with your words. "You are unaware that I am in fact a master of the ancient art of Monkey-Steals-Peach Style! You and your band of ruffians should submit before the fist of justice descends upon you!"
"Arr, won't that be a sight to see," the chad-pirate deadpans.

It seems they didn't buy your bluff. You're going to have to fight it out.

[b]Roll 9d10. Rolls of 7+ count as a success.[/b]
>Dexterity 4
>Martial Arts 3
>Expertise: Shipboard combat 1
>Stunt 1

>Stunt dice are awarded for describing your actions in a cool way, acting in-character or interacting with the environment. Remember, even if it's not drawn, if it would plausibly be in the scene, it's there!
>Stunt dice range from 1 to 3, depending on how good your roleplaying is, how cool your moves are and how well you use the world around you!

>>1629365
>Formatting error
The sticky lied to me

Rolled 3, 6, 4, 4, 4, 2, 2, 8, 6 = 39 (9d10)

>>1629365
Knock the lamp over and start a small fire. use the distraction to steal the sword from chad and proceed to shank him with it.

>>1629369
Ah, my mistake for being unclear. Your description BEFORE the roll is what influences your stunt dice.

That kind of thing is exactly what I'm looking for though! If that'd been used in the description before I called for a roll, it'd be worth two dice!

Rolled 8, 3, 3, 1, 3, 8, 1, 2, 7 = 36 (9d10)

>>1629365
One-inch punch the fucker into his friends.

Rolled 4, 7, 5, 5, 2, 6, 10, 4, 10 = 53 (9d10)

>>1629365
Kick him directly in the balls, grab his sword and insert it into his anus.

>>1629367
You're not OP so you don't get to.

You assumed the mantle of faggot without any of the powers.

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>>1629629
Your reverse heel-kick snaps back with practiced ease and slams directly into the buccaneer's baby-makers. His voice shoots up several octaves as he clutches at his smashed sack and his sword clatters to the deck as the crew wince in sympathy.

>Part 1/2

>>1629637
That would make sense... Curses! I am but a demi-faggot at best!

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>>1629960
Swooping low, you snatch up the dropped sword and complete your turn, sweeping up in a lethal arc and-

It's rather like hitting a home run. There's less resistance than you expected. His head goes sailing in a spray of dark, arterial blood and his body goes limp.

The crew seems momentarily stunned by the display of violence. How do you follow your victory?

FUCK HIS NECK. WITH YOUR BOY DIK

>>1629975

"Now I'm the captain of the ship!!! Any objection?!!"

>>1629975

supporting
>>1630101

also, "you boys ready to do some real pirating, instead of this weak shit Cpt. Shitface over there had you doing. I mean, who the fuck hunts down a single pocket watch. this shit's not even real silver. Its just paint that's starting to chip at this point."

>>1630340
shove the pocketwatch up your asshole

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>>1630101
You push the chadrate's corpse over the side to join where his head landed. It hits the water with a splash, leaving only the slick of blood to tell of its passing. In no uncertain terms and tapping the bloodied cutlass in your hand, you instruct the crew to direct their eyes to you and inform them there has been a change in the command structure, putting you at the top.

As the helmsman starts to sit up, rubbing his bruised head, one of your new crew raises his hand. "Uhm, point of order, uh- Cap'n, but Tallow's still in that jolly boat ahead of us. What exactly're y' plannin' on doin' about him? Plus, t'wern't even the pocket watch we were after; the Cap'n- Uh, former cap'n kept talkin' about how there was some kinda map hidden inside..."

>>1630783
Start tossing rocks and shit at his boat (but not the pocket watch) but let him live. Let him spread the tale of when he tried to fuck with us.

>>1630783
RAMMING SPEED.

>>1630783
Just sail away and leave him to wallow in impotent rage. I'm sure it won't come back to hurt us.

>>1620962
you're on a boat!

> QM describes a train.

Kinda been dying for the last while, Is anyone still interested in being on a boat?