Blacksmith Quest

Dvorak Thunderbutt

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>>161260
Your name is Dvorak Thunderbutt, and you're just getting back from the castle. You sold the royal army 100 +1 shortswords for a good amount of cash. You're practically rolling in dosh.

>>161172
Charlotte Bronsonhearth

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You have many options on where to go from here. Drump City is an exciting place.

There is Flub Pub, the shops, your smithy, or you can venture out of town to try and find some adventure. What do?

Anya Silvercog

>>161281
The castle. Request permission from the king's stewart to take over the abandoned mine in the forest. We'll hire people at the pub, rebuild it, get ore per turn, and have a proper business with steady income and workers.

>>161281
To the Flub Pub. Now that money is in surplus, we can put up a notice that information regarding magickal enchantments will be rewarded.

>>161297
I’d like to check out the mine first. Might be a reason why it is abandoned…

>>161281
Go to the pub, buy everyone there a round, seeing as you've just hit the jackpot

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>>161297
>>161324
>>161338

You put up some fliers at the Flub Pub. Adventurers check that shit every day, you're sure to get a hit on it.

You also buy a round for everyone there. Your POPULARITY has increased by 5, while your CASH decreases by 20. People literally start hooting and hollering, and you think you hear one guy honk.

At the Abandoned mine in the forest, you discover why it's abandoned. Potato Sack Jerry is squatting in it! He's gonna stink up all the ore!

>>161375
Question PSJ on why he lives there. Didn’t he have another place before?

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>>161391

You give PSJ the benefit of the doubt and ask him why he's at the abandoned mine.

He mumbles "welcome to my humble abode dear stranger would you like a rock they are high in minerals".

You think he's been snorting vub berries again. This is going to be a pain in the ass.

>>161433
Thank him, but refuse.

The most profitable route would probably to ask the sovereign for rights to the mine in exchange for getting Jerry to leave.

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>>161447
You head back to the castle and get an appointment with the royal vizier, Schneebly. He is wearing a festive flower shaped headdress today in celebration of Elf Holiday. You almost forgot, there are Elf Holiday sales all over the market area.

Schneebly says there's not much he can do. Potato Sack Jerry has been squatting there for at least a month, and the law goes that if somebody inhabits unowned land for at least a month, it is homesteaded. He will own it for as long as he lives there. You will have to find some other way to get rid of him.

>>161478
Could we get clarification on this: If we get him to leave, will it go back to being a belonging of the crown?

If so, they have an incentive to want him to leave. In which case it may be worthwhile for them to provide an incentive to Ms Thunderbutt to oust the squatter.

Please note that we are not advocating any violent and/or unlawful actions. Forcing him to leave his homestead would surely be illegal, which is why the government has not done anything so far.

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>>161485
Schneebly clarifies that it would become land belonging to the crown, which means you could buy it from the crown for 100 coins. Or sleep on it for a month and become a squatter, but that means you forfeit up your other house. (AKA your smithy)

>>161505
How much money do we have?

Now the thing is… the mine would work for the public benefit, which is the benefit of the crown. Ask if we could get a discount if we put it to work instead of just letting it stay idle. Or at least get reserve the right to buy it. It would be quite infuriating if we got Jerry to leave, only for someone else to buy it immediately.

What if we buy some candy, and place a bit every few meters, leading from the mine and to a wooden box. We quickly seal him inside and ship him across the sea.

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>>161520
Dvorak got 150 CASH from the +1 shortsword sales, and spent 20 of them at the pub, leaving us with 130 coins.

Schneebly says he might be able to get us a discount of 30%, if armor and weapon sales to the royal army come at a 20% discount from now on. And he can pretty much guarantee nobody is going to buy it right away: it stinks of Potato Sack Jerry.

(I'm out for tonight, feel free to post suggestions on how to get rid of PSJ from the mine. I'll try and be back tomorrow)

>>161541
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmvLexamrmk

>>161544
Threaten PSJ. Let him know that you're not afraid to let the authorities know that he's squatting

>>161544
One-time discount in exchange for a permanent discount? No thank you.

>>161541
Option one. Though I would replace the candies with peanuts.

We could also find out what happened to his previous residence. If he has another place to stay he may just leave.

We could also attempt to get him to was. Or purchase something to remove his smell at least. Then we could just let him live there while we work.

>>161574
Or we could bluff. He didn’t seem too bright.

>>161576
If we let him live there we won't find any willing workers, or productivity would drop.
We could force a bath on him though and make him our taskmaster :3
Maybe use the candies/peanuts to lead him to a lake

>>161576
>to was
*wash

>>161602
If he stops stinking, why would people refuse to work there?

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>>161541
>>161574
>>161576
>>161602
>>161649

Considering what the royal vizier Schneebly just told her, Dvorak Thunderbutt weighs her options. Unfortunately, it looks like she wasn't able to decide. She's a lass of action though, so she decides to flip a 3 sided coin.

Somebody roll 1d3:

1: Trick Potato Sack Jerry into moving somewhere else, maybe with candy.

2: Threaten to break his kneecaps. You're not entirely sure he'll be sober enough to understand, but it's worth a try.

3: Give him a bath and work around him. He doesn't seem like he'd mind.

Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>165579

I want to wash him so he stops being filthy, but okay, leave it to the dice

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>>165605

Dvorak makes up her mind: threaten him to either move or bathe, or SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. She is ready to walk out, but Schneebly clears his throat to get her attention.

"Wait, Dvorak. While you're here, I must ask a favor. I need you to upgrade my suboptimal +0 Elf Flower Headdress into a fabulous +1 Elf Flower Headdress. It's not quite as fabulous as I want, and I need it to be as fabulous as possible for Elf Holiday. I have the money required." He produces 5 coins.

You have your magick hammer and chisel, which is all you need to upgrade equipment, will you help him?

>>165725

Sure, why not? It shouldn't take much time, and five coins is not bad for a quick job

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>>165749

Dvorak thinks back to her years of training.

When upgrading an item, the number you want to upgrade it to is the TARGET NUMBER. Roll a d12. In order for the upgrade to be successful, you must roll >= 2+TARGET NUMBER. If you roll 1+TARGET NUMBER, the upgrade fails, but the item is saved. If you roll <= the TARGET NUMBER, the item explodes into worthless Legos. If you're upgrading somebody else's items, they might get mad about that. Finally, if you roll >= 7+TARGET NUMBER, the upgrade goes so well that the item gets an extra +1 added to the final upgrade amount.

So. for instance, to upgrade Schneebly's item to a +1 Headdress, you must roll 1d12. If you roll >= 3, the upgrade succeeds, and if your roll >= 8, it succeeds and becomes a +2 headdress. However, if you roll a 2, the upgrade fails and the item is preserved, although it can't have another upgrade attempt for the next 7 days. Finally, if you roll a 1, the upgrade fails and the item explodes into worthless Legos.

That said, Dvorak begins the upgrade process. Roll 1d12.

Rolled 4 (1d12)

>>165955
let's get dem 5 coins

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>>166074
Dvorak carves "+1" into the side of the headdress with her chisel and hammer.

Mystical energies flow into the headdress, rendering it more beautiful when used to celebrate Elf Holiday.

Schneebly's +0 Elf Flower Headdress becomes a slightly beautiful +1 Elf Flower Headdress! Schneebly even looks a little more handsome due to the supernatural effect of the upgrade. Well, a little.

He thanks you and drops the 5 coin into your smithing glove, before going back to his duties.

>>166120
GUYS NEW PLAN!
We try and upgrade PSJ to have like a +5 bonus, given his current state he'll either be upgraded to a decent human being or explode into Legos, either way we win.

>>166218
if we can upgrade people or people parts, we should upgrade our boobs lol

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>>166218
>>166270
Dvorak wonders if she could try and upgrade a person or parts of a person? It's not anything she's ever tried before.

She's pretty hesitant to try it on herself though, obviously. Exploded lego boobs doesn't sound fun or healthy. She would probably have to try and upgrade a guinea pig first.

>>166332
(Gonna call it a night here, dozing off. Feel free to post suggestions while I'm out, I'll look at em tomorrow.)

>>166332
Hm, how about upgraded soap? Seems like it would be needed for the peanut guy.

>>166332
tell PSJ that if he doesn't lave the mine you will attempt to upgrade his sanity

>>166332
I still say we try and upgrade PSJ it will be a good learning experience and should remove him as a problem.

>>166332
up grade boobs, up grade boobs

>>166332
You know what, let's boob it

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>>167146
>>166755
>>166631
>>166547
>>166469

Dvorak is confused about what to do. She decides to let the fates decide.

Somebody roll 1d5:

1: Upgrade some soap and give Potato Sack Jerry a bath.
2: Threaten PSJ, your original plan. (Although you're not sure if you can upgrade someone's sanity. You need something tangible to chisel.)
3: Upgrade PSJ. You're not entirely sure you can upgrade people, usually it's wearable or equippable items, or sometimes usable items. If it works, this may either kill him or make him not such a piece of shit.
4: Upgrade the tatas. Dvorak is nervous about this option: she's not seeing any gentlemen or gentlewomen right now, but if her boobs explode into Legos, she'll probably have a hard time easily attracting a significant other if she goes looking in the future. Also, she might die. That too.

(Gonna be in and out for the rest of the day. Will try to respond as quickly as possible.)

>>167909
Whoops, I mean 1d4.

Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>167909

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>>168041

The fates have decided. Dvorak shall give Potato Sack Jerry an ADVANCED BATH and simply work around him. He probably won't get in the way.

But Dvorak needs to go get some soap. Off to the SHOPS.

Dvorak arrives in the market. There are many shops here. Which one should we choose?

>>168273
the MYSTERY ALLEY!

>>168273
Any shop named Dildo's Crap has my full and undivided attention.

>>168377

It says "Dido's Crap", but Dido could be a dildo vendor.

Or maybe they just misspelled dildo.

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>>168363
>>168377
>>168396

We'll go to the secret alley first, and then Dido's afterwards if we want to.

Dvorak squeezes down an alley and finds herself in the UNDERMARKET, a dark den of sellers who have things outlawed by the king. It's dangerous in these parts.

The first person Dvorak encounters is Deek the Sneak. She's set up against a building selling general merchandise. She's smoking a pipe.

>>168492
peruse wares

>>168492
Upgrade tatas

>>168492
Peruse wears

>>168492
Increase the rank of ones breasts

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>>168784
>>168738
>>168663
>>168502

Dvorak asks what Deek has for sale. Deek says take a look.

Dvorak asks if Deek has soap. Deek says uhhh, no.

Dvorak asks if Deek would like to have her tatas upgraded. Deek doesn't even know what that means. Dvorak clarifies she can upgrade the ranks of her boobs. Deek counter-clarifies that she is only more confused by the second explanation.

>>168858
What are the prices for all of these things?

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>>168865

Oops, forgot that part.

New pic, also made shelves lighter so they're easier to read.

>>168858
I see she has some shleb, but we need something more potent for the soap.
Ask her if she has some skub.

Should we buy a glock?

Rolled 3 (1d12)

>>168904
Upgrade her anyway, rollin

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>>168914
>>168930

Dvorak asks if Deek has any skub,

Deek says all the skub was taken by the Skub Dragon in the Disaster of 904. Don't you remember that from school?

She also says, hey, were you serious about that tata enhancer?

Dvorak wonders why.

Deek pulls a hankerchief from under her shirt, and one of her chest lumps vanishes. She's flat as a board, she says. She saw you peeping at the Glock and she can give you a discount it you can help her out. It's something she's always been self-conscious about,

>>169273

Whoa, lad, you gotta declare what number you want to upgrade her to!

If that roll there was for anything but a +1, Deek might have exploded into Legos!

Rolled 2 (1d12)

>>169302
Oh, I thought it was like each go adds one. I. that case, let's reroll for... +3?

>>169306
Shit

>>169317
>>169306

Uh oh.

The +1 rule makes sense. I might start doing that. If the upgrade # isn't declared, it's automatically assumed to be +1 or the next number in the sequence if it's already upgraded.

Since it was unclear, roll 1d2. If it's 1: we play it like the first roll(rolled a 3 on a +1 attempt). If not, we play it like the reroll (got a 2 on a +3 attempt).

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>169369

>>169382
Luckyyyyy

I suddenly gotta head out, but I'll be back later. I'll draw what happens when I get back home.

>>169382
God be with ye anon

>>169369
If that pic of what +1 to boobs would have done to us is anything to go by, I reckon a successful +3 would have got us kicked out anyways. If she could even stand

>>169922
Op here, still out.

Upgrades might not always affect the size or shape of the object. For instance, what good is a +10 longsword if so huge that people couldn't wield it properly? It would be better if just became supernaturally sharp and easy to wield.

I'm thinking that since chiseling upgrades is magic, and it affects the potency of the object when being used for a task it's supposed to be used for, most of the benefit would be more magical than physical in nature.

So +10 boobs might not be mountain-sized, but just extraordinarily supernaturally good at tasks that the boobs are part of, like attracting partners.

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>>169382

Dvorak brings Deek to a side area and tells her to reveal her chest in the most SFW way possible. Deek pulls her shirt off of her shoulders a little and asks if this is good? It is.

Dvorak is winding up with the first hit when Deek asks her if it will hurt. Dvorak says "I dunno" as she swings the hammer.

It's a christmas miracle. Deek has cleavage! And not just the kind you get when you squash your skin together with your hands! Real cleavage! Sure, there's a dumb looking +1 carved into her chest, but who even cares about that? This also proves that you can upgrade people and people parts. This is potentially a huge magical/scientific discovery.

Deek's +0 pair of breasts have become a +1 pair of breasts. In addition to them growing in size, Deek now has the supernatural ability to distract/daze people for up to a minute as long as they're somewhat attracted to women.

She is grateful for your service and gives you a 25% discount forever. Also, if you ever need to get hooked up with something or someone in the Undermarket, come see her. She'll try and help.

Dvorak's POPULARITY has grown by 1.

>>171131
fuck yeah, purchase the fuck out of that glock
don't tell anyone else in the thread we have it

>>171216
Wew, I'm dozing off. I'll draw us purchasing the glock tomorrow.

Night lads.

>>171224
sleep tite

Rolled 4 (1d12)

>>171131
No cost ability to daze for a minute, we need summa that. Plus two ourself
Night OP

>>171216
We should also purchase the fertitlity statue and junk pile. Because crafting is important, ye?

>>171224
And OP, do you have a twitter? I'd really like to know when you're about

>>171131
+1 yourself to make yourself a better blacksmith

>>172409
that's some skyrim tier game breaking, anon

>>172416
Our hammer has a +5 on it, what happens if we make a +10 hammer? Everyone, we must science!!

>>172443

She must've turned into legos quite a few hammers before getting a +5 one. No tempting fate anon.

>>172445
Okay then, we will just make all of our smithing clothes and such +1, thus making us better.

>>172021
Nice, +2 boobs.
Do we get a better dazzle skill too?

>>172468
We upgraded the merchant's tatas, not our own.

>>172482
I meant the dude I replied to got the roll for our own boobs to

>>171131
Be distracted for a minute by her cleavage.

Then buy the glock.

Rolled 7 (1d12)

>>172675
Also, upgrade our own boobs to +5.

>>172726
I DID IT! GIVE US THE +5 TIDDIES BABY.

>>172726
Oh shit

>>172726
HABBENING

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>>171216
>>172675

Dvorak decides to pick up the Glock. Deek says she can give it to us for 50 coins instead of 70, but before you pay, she warns: she doesn't know how it works. It's some sort of advanced science or magic tool, she only knows it's called a Glock because another blacksmith sold it to her and that's what they called it. She's played around with it: a few parts move and open/close, but she can't get it to do anything.

She asks if Dvorak is sure she wants it? Maybe another blacksmith like her can get it to work.

>>172021

Being an experienced blacksmith, Dvorak knows that there's not exactly no cost to most upgrade abilities. Usually if an item gains some sort of ability via upgrading, it gains a number of CHARGES that it burns each use. How long it takes to restore the charges varies, as does how many charges it has.

(We'll get to the boob upgrades after we're done with Deek.)

>>175481
Now lets go buy some fucking super soap

>>175481
Titties first

>>175513

wait, but do we want to buy it? we haven't paid for it yet, apparently it doesn't work or maybe it doesn't have bullets or something?

>>175577
We've already got an awesome +5 hammer. We should buy some ass poison though. It might come in handy.

>>175481
buy vub berries and bribe ole Jerry boi to leave the mine

>>175577
>>175775
>>175789
We've got 135 coins at the moment. We could do all of these and still have around 67 left, depending on how many vub berries we buy/Deek has. Glock is +6, so it might shoot MIND BULLETS.

>>172726
>>175529
This after Deek, then to Dido's dildo shop.

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(Shit, I'm dozing off. This is the last post for the night, boobies tomorrow for sure.)

>>175920
>>175789
>>175513
>>172675
>>172024
>>171216

Okay, after some thinking, Dvorak buys the Glock, a vial of Ass Potion, a mote of Junk Ball, the Fertiltity Statue, and a bunch of Vub Berries. She spends 72 coins, bringing her total down to 63.

Deek says uhhhhh since you helped her out, she'll give you some advice... watch out for vub berries. Shit's addictive yo, it will ruin your life. You might end up like that Potato Sack Jerry guy.

Dvorak says not to worry, she knows.

Deek also says that you probably also know that since they're in the Undermarket, most of the stuff you just bought is probably very illegal, except the Junk Ball and maybe the Glock. Don't go showing it around, and if anybody asks, you didn't get it from her. She don't wanna spend the rest of her life locked in the castle dungeon in a cage, getting bitten by dire rats and pooping in a corner.

>>176086
Let's find some soap.

>>176347
I reckon we need to cool off for a sec. OP literally has things backed up that he has to draw at this point. More suggestions after we recieve our +5 titties

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>>172788
>>172760
>>172730
>>172726
>>169922
>>169434
>>169382
>>169306

Dvorak ducks into a nearby alleyway before leaving the Undermarket. She's pretty sold on this whole boob upgrade thing: it seems to have gone pretty well for Deek.

Dvorak is a risk taker though, so instead of a +1, she goes for a +5.

She's a little nervous as she goes to make the first tap.

*clink*

Powerful magickal energies flow from her +5 Great Hammer and +5 Magic Chisel, into her upper body. It's close, but the upgrade takes!

Dvorak's +0 busom has been upgraded into a powerful +5 busom! Dvorak gains 2 new skills:

Charm Person - Dvorak is able to completely hypnotise one person with a show of charm. They will follow her orders for 2 hours. Only works on humanoids attracted to women. (1 charge, regens 1 every 4 days.)

Change Orientation (upgrade) - Dvorak can use her magick to change a persons sexual orientation. Roll a d3. If it comes up 3, the person is instantly attracted to the opposite gender permanently. If the person is bisexual or asexual, nothing happens. (1 charges, regens 1 every week

After a victory "WOOOO", Dvorak walks out of the alleyway with a little trouble walking. She's not used to having so much weight up front. She makes a mental note that she *only has 1 Magic Upgrade charge on her chisel for the rest of the day.* She'll get another one tomorrow morning.

>>176347
>>175920
>>176652

Dvorak walks into Dido's Crap. An elf stands at the counter. "Howdy, I'm Dido, welcome to Dido's Crap. Today we're having an Elf Holiday sale on Elf Candies."

>>180312
Fuck yeah those are some nice tatas. Neat.

>>180312
Ask her about soap products.

>>180312
Get the soap. At the counter, show off your tits seductively. It's good to be able to gauge whether or not certain individuals are straight or not; it may be important information for the future.

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>>180384
>>180352

Dvorak walks up to the counter, shaking her stuff. She gets up too close and accidentally bumps the counter. She's not used to her new additions yet.

Trying to gauge Dido's orientation, Dvorak pulls both of her boobs up to lay on the counter and looks up. "Hey there. Uh. Do you guys sell soap?" she asks.

Dido tries really hard to stifle a laugh.

Dvorak waits for a second. "Soooooo, would it be in the bath aisle?"

"Sorry," Dido says, "it was too cute. Yes, back aisle. I mean, BATH aisle. Left of the enchantments section."

Dvorak heads to the back to pick up some soap for PSJ.

(Sorry, got too late, gotta go to bed. We'll pick it up tomorrow if this hasn't completely autosaged by then.)

>>180559
Well, go check out the bath section then

>>180559
Stutter "No! Y-You're cute!", then storm off into the bath aisle, blushing.

You're a serious smith who should be taken seriously. For serious.

Rolled 6 (1d12)

>>180559
Make to go towards the soap isle, then turn around and surprise her with a +2 butt

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From the art to the writing, this /qst/ thread is easily my favorite. Keep up the good work OP.

>>180559
this is my favourite thread OP, the art is just too fucking cute. Please keep it up!!

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>>180709
Dvorak is taken aback by being called cute. She's the roughest, toughest 4 foot tall blacksmith you've ever seen!

"No, you're cute!", she stutters before starting to walk to the bath aisle. It was like something out of those foreign picture scrolls from the east. Dvorak almost calls her a "baka", but then she realizes she doesn't know what that means, and on the off chance that it's a racial slur, she just heads to the back.

Ugh, that was the worst comeback since Old Man Pleeboo challenged her to a game of darts at the Flub Pub, and she said "No, you're darts!" Dvorak facepalms unconciously.

>>180702
>>181208
Dvorak walks over to the soap aisle. She's a little reluctant to upgrade her butt to +2: she's only got 1 upgrade charge left on her chisel for the day! And we still haven't given Potato Sack Jerry a bath yet! The abandoned mine could be full of precious metal ore that we can use to craft amazing weapons like the Wombo knuckles and the Diddlio Sword.

Or... she *could* also just do the butt upgrade and wait until tomorrow to give PSJ a bath. The +5 Magic Chisel regains a single upgrade charge each night at midnight. Dvorak considers her options carefully.

At the same time, she also considers entirely different (vaguely fragrant) options, also carefully.

>>181887
>>181835
Thanks! This quest has been a lot of fun so far.

>>183875
get that duck soap so he doesnt go beserk from the pain of soap in his eyes.

Also i think you should post the next update in a new thread since this one is in autosage

>>183875
Upgrade dat ass to +2 and buy the fancy soap. We want him to be a foreman, so he needs to learn how the good life can feel (and smell).

New thread!

>>184063

>>183875
bath bomb! throw it at jerry.

>>183875
We gotta upgrade the butt, for reasons. Plus we'll run out of upgrades for today and have to do plot things