Thread replies: 75
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Thread images: 27
Just after you came into existence, you saw some sort of intro cutscene wherein and old man-wizard-dude-person revealed that you were the chosen one, destined to save the world, or whatever.
He asks for your name, but you seem to be unable to speak. In order to tell him, he provides you with one of those shitty A-Z typing schemes with which you have to arduously type each letter one by one.
So, what is your name?
One letter per reply; first dubs presses START.
>>
my name is Guy Mane
>>
>>1602516
Good for you(?)
Your brain is overwhelmed with too many letters than you can keep track of while typing with this backwards setup. You just input:
>m
What is the next letter of your name?
>>
>>
>>1602989
You input:
>a (ma)
(keep inputting, first dubs presses start)
>>
>>
>>1603542
You input:
>z (maz)
Goddamn, you didn't realize such a simple as typing in a name could take 6+ hours...
What is the next letter of your name?
>>
>>
>>1603574
You input:
>e (maze)
That's...that's a name...perhaps.
What is the next letter of your name?
(keep inputting letters until dubs)
>>
>>
>>1603665
You input:
>l (mazeI)
What is the next letter of your name?
>>
>>
>>1603701
You input:
>o (mazeIo)
You get tired of staring at the comic sans and press enter already.
Your name is MAZELO.
>>
You get booted to your menu.
Although you can't quite make out what everything says, you see something about six stats and a class.
What were they again?
Name a class.
Name six stats and roll 6d100 for their values.
First evens decide.
>>
>>1603733
Class: chivalier
Stats:
Leadership
Combat Prowess
Skill
Status
Health
Charisma
>>
Rolled 24, 42, 77, 62, 65, 67 = 337 (6d100)
>>1603749
>>
Rolled 94, 10, 4, 33, 60, 100 = 301 (6d100)
>>1603733
Class:Rogue
Slight of hand
Bluff
Combat prowess
Sneak
Agility
Charisma
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>>1603749
>>1603752
You are a true CHIVALIER. Typo intended.
That's an impressive CHARISMA stat of 67. That, combined with your blank stare allows you to build rapport with anyone on sight.
Your decent COMBAT PROWESS could also be of use--assuming, of course, that this stick the old man gave you is a sword.
Unfortunately, you can't quite remember what SKILL, STATUS, and LEADERSHIP do.
What's worse of a sign,
you're now thinking in rhyme!
So define what the stats mean
with how the brats sing.
Define the rolls of the SKILL, STATUS, and LEADERSHIP stats with quotes from pop songs.
May le luck be with thee...
>>
>>1603778
SKILL: I never miss a beat, I'm lightning on my feet [Shake It Off]
STATUS: I wanna be, the very best, like no-one ever was... [Pokemon theme]
LEADERSHIP: I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink. But now I'm insecure and I care what people think [Stressed Out]
>>
HEALTH: You shoot me down! But I wont fall! [Titanium]
>>
COMBAT PROWESS: Test your might. MORTAL COMBAT! [Immortal-Techno syndrome]
>>
CHARISMA: Im a classic man, you can be me when you look this clean, im a classic man. [Classic man]
>>
>>1603902
>>1604160
>>1604167
>>1604168
These should help...hopefully...at least when you reach your first encounter
You're loaded into the overworld. You can explore any route you can reach in it (think ALTTP). Both your item and healing inventories are currently empty :( Your only main items are the box/shield thing and stick/sword/fuck it.
The green bar is you health, and the grey one is your exp. (currently empty). You can check your stats whenever you like.
What do now?
>>
>>1604721
check the tutorial
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>>1606460
>check the tutorial
WAIT NO NO NO
A little fairy descends from abo-well, from nothing and proceeds to spew the most superficial shit that would make omochao suicidal.
In order to pause, press the PAUSE button.
In order to suggest something, reply to the most recent update with your suggestion.
In order to check your item inventory, suggest a check of the item inventory.
In order to check your healing inventory, suggest a check of the healing inventory.
In order to check your stats, suggest a check of your stats.
In order to check your moves and skills, suggest a check of your moves and skills.
In order to navigate the overworld, suggest a specified navigation of the overworld.
It goes on for another one-hundred text-boxes stuffed with "useful info" that you totally didn't already know.
What do now?
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>>1606759
...check your map?
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>>1606869
Oh...it's one of those maps. Yellow marks your current screen, light gray marks where you've been, and dark gray (most of the map right now) marks where you haven't been yet.
Not that it really matters with a map like this -_-
What do now?
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>>1606958
just travel straight for now
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>>1607027
>just travel straight for now
As any 2D-world-dwelling-person-goer-character knows, straight always means right.
You head right a screen.
Nothing too eventful here, just some flora and a tree-cave.
What do now?
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>>1607095
Trees are friendly, right? Let's try and poke our head into its weird tree-cave-vagina thing.
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>>1607118
>tree-cave-vagina thing
Of course, that's the technical term.
Into the TREE-VAGINA-CAVE THING thou pokest thy head. Still not much; just a CALM FIREPLACE, a MYSTERIOUS CHEST, and some LIVE-ACTION-SQUIRRELS.
What do now?
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>>1607219
Man, what a cozy scene. I feel rude now. Ol' Nutters and Confucius over there made a fire, they set up some furniture, and then we barged in, probably right before Nutters could shove his butters in buddy.
Steal their belongings.
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>>1607279
>Steal their belongings
OL'NUTTERS and CONFUCIUS clearly couldn't give less of shit about you taking their only possession.
You receive an AL QAEDA WET-DREAM-er, three BOMBS.
Try using these on cracks in walls and the like. They have a BASE ATTACK POWER of 50.
You'd rather not ask how some generic LIVE-ACTION-SQUIRRELS got their hand on some deadly explosives...not that you'd be any better with them.
What do now?
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File: item_inventory.png (7KB, 400x400px) Image search:
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7KB, 400x400px
>>1607403
>>1607279
(This is what the inventory looks like btw)
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>>1607403
You're pretty low level right now, try grinding for some xp with some good old fashioned squirrel murderising
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>>1607730
Turns out the squirrels are neither STATIC BACKGROUND-ELEMENTS nor ENGAGEABLE ENEMIES, but in fact NPCs. And they're super fucking pissed.
>Whatchu doin you lil bitchass nigga comin in here like you own da god'damned place
>you fucking bitch
>gimme my shit back
>bitch you don wanna know how much id pay to be more than a useless little npc shit and beat yo ass right here
>fuck this motherfuckin' limited digital world
>and fuck you too, you god'damned bitchass nigga
Hmmm.....
o..kay...?
Luckily for both of you, neither can really do anything to each other except aggressively mash the HYPOTHETICAL A-BUTTON.
What do now?
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>>1607807
use LEADERSHIP to make them our RETINUE
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>>1607831
They are not entertained:
>lol this lil bitchass nigga don tink i notice dat twenny-fow (24) leadaship
>more like LEADERSHIT
>amirite or amirite mah nigga?
>...
>bruh
>...
>fuck you nigga
You might need to level up your LEADERSHIP stat before returning.
These particular squirrels require a minimum a 30 LEADERSHIP to become RETINUES and join your COUNCIL.
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>>1607861
What do now?
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>>1607863
It's time to find the nearest town and scope some fly hunnies/buy shit
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>>1608180
You exit the TREE-VAGINA-CAVE THING and navigate east another screen in search of a village.
Let's see, there are some INTERACTIVE ROCKS and what appears to be a TOWN-ENTRANCE. And what might that weird texture behind you be?
Just like everything else in this world, the post with the name of the town is completely unreadable.
Name the town.
also
What do now?
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>>1608633
Town name:Ska-doosh
...now take off your pants
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>>1610388
>Ska-doosh
Why are you trying to name it Ska-doosh? It already is and always has been called Ska-doosh.
>...now take off your pants
What pants?
What do now?
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>>1610432
>what pants?
OH MYYY
>What do now?
enter town
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>>1610755
You make your way across the screen and HOLY SHIT AND ENEMY JUMPED OUTS;OVN'D/;LKMHBN
Quick, name the three main themes of the imp! (i.e. spider, sheet-ghost, paperclip, whatever)
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>>1610818
synth, rapturious, flargrant
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>>1610954
Flargrant being a typo of flagrant?
(just clarifying)
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>>1610954
>>1611027
Really don't care at this point, I'm going with flagrant.
A vicious FLOWERAPTURIOUSYNTH leaps out at you from behind a rock...or...it...stands up...it can't really move, it's a plant...whatever. It's supposedly flagrant flowers smell like a stoner puked on a horse-turd.
You regain your composure and prepare for your first battle. The main issue is that you can't remember which type of RPG this is!
Is this RPG turn-based (Pokémon), real-time (Zelda), or a mix?
>>
>>1611112
a mix, regular attacks are real time and special attacks pause the real time combat and act like Pokemon moves in that type effectiveness is counted and they can only be dodged with sufficient speed/agility/dex/etc. unless the move is undodgeable.
>>
Rolled 1, 42, 45, 15 = 103 (4d60)
>>1611769
The lv.1 foe's stats are the rolled numbers in this order:
health, combat prowess, skill, stamina
You've forgotten all 4 of your special attacks! Looks like you'll need to make them up on the spot. That, or use your generic sword attacks (weakest attack, no cooldown, real time) to save your stamina (special attacks use stamina, you get a little boost every turn).
Will you:
DEFEND
SWORD
SPECIAL ATTACK (make up a name for it)
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>>1611783
That's one impressive HP stat on that FLOWERAPTURIOUSYNTH there, I'd say.
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>1611783
Terminate this powerful creature with a simple blow
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>>1611790
Before you can even lift a finger, a little fly buzzes by and lands on the monstrous FLOWERAPTURIOUSYNTH's stalk, dealing 0.000001 DAMAGE. Unfortunately for the beast, all damage below 1 gets rounded up in this world.
oops
Roll 1d30 for the EXP gain.
(every level up requires 100 EXP)
Now I need to reform things a little bit:
I'm gonna change stat screen a little bit really quickly. I'm adding DEFENSE and STAMINA stats. Roll 2d100 for their values.
The sword attack deals a range of 0-15 HP from a minimum of 10 (so 10-25). The minimum increases when you level up. So the roll for a sword attack would be 1d(range)+(minimum).
Special attacks also deal a set range of damage, but are upgraded or replaced instead of leveled up. They also use up set amounts of stamina, but are generally stronger that the sword. These can have different effects (mostly for shits and giggles).
I'll show the reformed stat screen after somebody rolls the new stats.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d30)
>>1611832
for xp
>>
Rolled 48, 25 = 73 (2d100)
>>1611832
for values
>>
File: equipment.png (33KB, 600x400px) Image search:
[Google]
33KB, 600x400px
>>1613335
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File: attacks.png (21KB, 600x400px) Image search:
[Google]
21KB, 600x400px
>>1613343
You also have three bombs in your inventory (can't repost the image).
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>>1613358
What do now?
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>>1613368
finally enter town
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>>1613460
Goodbye grass, goodbye arch, and goodbye cracked wall (*hint hint wink wink nudge nudge*).
This is the front part of town. You see your first other human, since you technically were born 4 screens ago. One could infer that the child lives in the SMALL CABIN.
>>
>>1613587
What do now?
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>>1613587
Flip the child the right way up, stop the blood rushing to their head since they look like they're about to pass out
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>>1613702
Y-you don't have any animations for that...fuck, you can't even autonomously move your limbs outside of battle ;(
The child talks to you:
>Hey there, mister!
>*Insert something semi-witty about handstands*
>Ha ha ha
>Oh holy shit I can't feel my legs...
>FUCK FUCK FUCK
>HELP ME MISTER PLEASE
You're not sure how you feel about your inability to take action.
*Sigh,* what do now?
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>>1613766
Jesus Christ alive. Go back and blow that cracked wall with one of our Squirrel bombs. For fuck sake yall.
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>>1613766
nudge him over with the shield box thing.
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>>1614401
-1 BOMB (2 left)
You didn't say to move 0_0
oops
-10 HP (55/65)
A hole bursts open in the cave.
What do now?
>>
Spelunk that hole, baby! It'll be worth it
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>>1614615
You enter the cave. Nothing of interest to see here-oh, there appears to be something glittering from across the cavern.
What do now?
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>>1614678
Attack the light for being a disgusting cave dweller
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>>1615370
Maximize image to view gif (pronounced jif, btw)
You lead a head-on assault, literally. Ow!
-10 HP (45/65)
What do now?
>>
inspect the brown rectangles
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>>1616292
Woah, it opened.
What do now?
>>
retrieve some dank loot like a +20 sword or a ring that increases dick length
Thread posts: 75
Thread images: 27
Thread images: 27