You are the president of the United States of America

>>154447
I will update when there are at least 5 responces or 10min pass

Rolled 77 (1d100)

"Fuck bitches, acquire currency. God bless America"

Rolled 8657486070879 (1d10000000000000)

Why do we tolerate the muslims
..
They want to destroy the west..
They HATE US
and yet we allow them into our communities.
Then Liberals argue "meh only handful hate us"
NO thats a lie

They all hate us. The "good' ones are just sleeper agents. They lie in wait for war which will end the west and destroy the white race.

FUCK THAT.

I declare war on muslims and The middle East
And After that All of africa except South africa WILL BURN

Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>154447
"I hereby declare war on Hell. Anyone with me? Let's fuck their shit up real good.
To the muslims, Hell is where all infidels go.
To the jews, they say Erebus is fucking filled with gold, guess that goes for the Greeks too.
To the christians, satan is a cunt.
To the atheists, if we kill Hell then you get to say you literally slayed the supernatural, how cool is that?

Anyway. Let's kill Hell. With mechas. And Magic.
Well first we'll need a portal"

dice+1d100

'I... am Canadian.'

Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>154480

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>154447
Make America Great Again!

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>154447
Good morning fellow americans.
All burgers are now banned.
And we introducing Islamic communism.

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>154480

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>154447
It is with great pleasure I announce the US will switch it's name to Burger Confederation. We're also investigating a new technology that can turn nuclear explosions into harmless bacon.

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>154483
Dice goes on the options field.

File: 02.How.png (7KB, 588x360px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 588x360px

>>154492
>Make America Great Again!
And the people ask... yeah, how?

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>154508
Well, uh, we invade Canada and make them pay for it.

Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>154508
Free guns for everyone

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>154508
"We're just gonna make it great, folks. It's really simple I'm telling you! And we-... Hold on, look at that man with the red hat! Stand up, what a beautiful hat, look at him folks!

>>154447
jack off on stage and start a kickstarter to fund a wall across all of america

>>154525
forgot my roll

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>154533
Twice apparently

File: hqdefault.jpg (39KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 480x360px

Rolled 5 (1d100)

I have an idea.
How about
NO MORE TAXES

>>154508
Make each day in calendar some kind of festival/holiday

File: 03.fuck canada. also everyone else.png (14KB, 588x360px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 588x360px

>>154516
>Well, uh, we invade Canada and make them pay for it
Everyone seems to agree with you. Congrats, you just united the whole world against Canada!
>>154539
Also then you start jerking off and talk about making a wall. Your popularity raises

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>154480
BY DOING THIS

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>154508
We will exterminate all muslims, nazi style

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>154561
Ban the kardashians from our reality

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>154561
Invade them (don't use nukes), nationalise their economy and take their oil.

File: 04.Canada not happy.png (62KB, 2006x1259px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 2006x1259px

>>154561
>>154573
Canada is not very happy. What do?

Just trying the dice option

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>154585
Explain to everyone that only the french-speaking part of canada is going to get nuked, and the rest will be able to live as true american citizens after a 5 year program for reeducation.

Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>154585
Apologise to Canada and ask Justin "Weed man" Trudeau to dinner

>>154585
Wall off Quebec and prepare a regular schedule of carpet bombing. Oh yeah, and make France pay for it.

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>154604
forgot the roll.

>>154561
Everyone will have to wear dressings gowns like we apparently are whilst making this speech.

File: horror.gif (259KB, 104x152px) Image search: [Google]

259KB, 104x152px

>>154585
Launch the Happiness Nukes.

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>154625
forgot to rawl

File: 05.France is surpriced.png (45KB, 488x500px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 488x500px

>>154604
France is surpriced. Now everyone hates it and steal money from it. You just destroyed two countries.

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>154636
Celebrate victory, retire to whitehouse chambers. Grow moustache, shave into toothbrush shape.

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>154636
Next off you promise you'll make my little pony real.

>>154651
Heil

File: 06.Russia plans something fishy.png (22KB, 283x180px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 283x180px

>>154651
You do so. Now you have a cool mustache! Meanwhile rumours say that Russia is talking shit about you. Everyone is afraid of you since you just made France and Cnada your bitches thus Russia wants to take leadership.
What do?

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>154670
Sell Alaska back to Russia after you extract anything valuable from it. Oh, make sure to burn everything in it down, too. And salt the ground.

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>154670
Through careful political maneuvers, get the rest of Europe to simultaneously invade Russia.

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>154670
Call Putin a manlet

Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>154670
Return Alaska to Russia for free and 20% of all our nukes

>>154692
Oh shit.

File: putintwo.jpg (91KB, 624x900px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 624x900px

>>154704
but he is a big guy

File: 07.Putin a manlet.png (27KB, 588x391px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 588x391px

>>154692
You start a speech. Calling him a manlet. Russia is not pleased.
How proceed the speech?

>>154736

4u

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>154742
Say you fucked his mom and she loved it because russian dicks are small in comparison to your big american dick.

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>154742
Demend from russia paying reparations to ukraine for attacking their country and they must give back ukrainian crimea back to ukraine.

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>154742
Ask Putin for a dick measuring contest to prove his manliness and embarrass him with your horse schlong

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>154742
Proceed to verbally shitpost until Russia collectively kills itself, then take over the empty territory.

>>154742
Launch the supernukes

>>154742
Declare that we will ban all Russian IPs from 4chan.

File: 08.Give them what is theirs.png (10KB, 697x416px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 697x416px

>>154755
You demand Russia to give Ukranian people what is their. Russia is even less pleased.
Now how you end the speech?

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>154795
Provoke china too

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>154795
If Russia does so we can finally mend things and waifu them
Everybody knows Russia is tsundere for America

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>154795
Say that in this years every american citizen will get 5 free burgers. and god bless america.

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>154795
"It Aint Me" starts playing.

File: =D.gif (721KB, 227x165px) Image search: [Google]

721KB, 227x165px

Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>154803
Roll for this just in case

>>154795
Announce that all the non-whites will be deported to American Samoa.

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>154795
Say that "Future is optimistic for america but near time will be hard for democracy in the world. We must fight for democracy and new companies in usa, better education in usa, and we will rebuilding our economy.

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>154823

Rolled 9 (1d100)

Islam needs to go

File: 09.Baka!.png (22KB, 283x180px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 283x180px

>>154822
>>154803
B-baka! I am not tsu-dere nothing for you. I am going to give them back the crimea b-but it has nothing to do with y-you!

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>154842
Thank Russia and praise it a bit.

Then NTR it with China.

>>154855
we have winrar here

>>154855
>>154842
Or rather, NTR it then go for the
HAREM ENDING

File: chuck.gif (993KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

993KB, 250x250px

>>154855
not gonna contest this one

File: 10.Sweet love.png (41KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 800x600px

>>154855
You make sweet love with China and make Russia watch you "accidentally".
You are an evil twisted fuck. Russia heart is broken.

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>154911
Give Bolivia all the nukes

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>154911
you espouse the clique who runs the world
the irish people

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>154911
Russia becomes yandere. If she can't have us, no one will.

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>154911
Fuck Russia too so it doesn't feel left alone

File: 11.You just fucked Bolivia.gif (715KB, 2000x1044px) Image search: [Google]

715KB, 2000x1044px

>>154918
Well. You just destroy Bolivia. Everyone seem a little upset that you used so many nukes in that country.
This is probably going to affect negatively the ambient. What do with that?

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>154911
remove murican prisons from cuba

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>154942
Use nukes and create big crater in the middle east.

Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>154942
Mandatory nudity for all females

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>154942
Shape the fallout as a make up love letter to Russia then make sweet love among the radioactive wastes while singing that "I don't know who set the world on fire" song from Fallout

File: 12.Sweet love part two.png (26KB, 491x368px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 491x368px

>>154951
This is getting weird. And lewd.
The world is still very affected by all the nuclear wastes you just did. What do with that?

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>155000
Send it at the Martians as a war declaratiob

Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>155000
Send Brazilians to clean that nuclear wastes....
And they will pay for it.

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>155008
bump

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>155000
Tell everyone to piss on the nuclear waste until it stops being radioactive.

File: 13.Another speech.png (9KB, 588x391px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 588x391px

>>155019
You cant reroll for yourself.
>>155025
You do so... it doesnt work. A lot of penises fell off. You are now in another conference. You must explain the world why you did that, and how are you gonna deal with the nuclear wastes.
How do you start the speech?

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>155052
"The boliviacaust never happened", you say, "There is no proof" you pause for a second to let it sit in. "Our experts have investigated the wrongly named nuclear wastelands and they have declared that no nukes were ever used on these wastelands so they should be called just wastelands instead". You then pull some graphics and research data out of your ass and show it to the world.

Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>155070
This

File: 14.bullshit.png (12KB, 588x391px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 588x391px

>>155070
Unsurprisingly most people believe you,
How do the speech continue?

File: cidal.jpg (7KB, 180x280px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 180x280px

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>155088
The Bolivian government is run by criminals. They're bringing thugs. They're bringing rapists. Some, I assume, are good people. But we need to stop the former two from coming in. I say we build a wall around Bolivia which will, in the EVENT of nuclear disaster striking it, prevent the spread of toxins and radiation as well as keeping those criminals out.

>>155134
geez im getting 69 a lot today

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>155134
Seconding this

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>155088
Say that "Future is optimistic for america but near time will be hard for democracy in the world. We must fight for democracy and new companies in usa, better education in usa, and we will rebuilding our economy.

File: 15.Bolivia a shit.png (16KB, 623x376px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 623x376px

>>155134
>The Bolivian government is run by criminals. They're bringing thugs. They're bringing rapists. Some, I assume, are good people. But we need to stop the former two from coming in. I say we build a wall around Bolivia which will, in the EVENT of nuclear disaster striking it, prevent the spread of toxins and radiation as well as keeping those criminals out.
Peoplen praises you.
Now, how end the speech?

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>155213
>>154480
this

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>155213
Suck your own dick in a show of flexibility

Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>155213
Do a Goatse for your audience.

>>155213
We need to give America back to the red man!

Then strip naked, pick up a bow and arrow, put on a feather headdress and rush out through the crowd.

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>155256

File: 16.Mom must be proud.png (11KB, 646x369px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 646x369px

>>155236
Everyone is surpriced. You got a lot more respect from every other country.
This was a really long day of work. What do now that everything seems to be under control?

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>155280
We are going to DESTROY Communism. By invading and occupying India. Filthy Commies won't know what hit them.

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>155280
Fly to Vatican. And meet pope.
Fellow americans should know that christianity is USA only religion.

File: When the Mage activates Burst of Speed.jpg (38KB, 589x399px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 589x399px

Rolled 5 (1d100)

Cleanse America & Russia of toxic waste and radioactivity secretly.

File: 17.A talk with Francis.png (141KB, 673x455px) Image search: [Google]

141KB, 673x455px

>>155310
You meet Pope Francis. He tells you that you can ask him any question you want. What do you ask?

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>155280
French kiss a 10 year old girl and promise to fight for a free loli in every home

Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>155350
Would god like to be our pen pal?
Also lolis.

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>155350
How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?

File: 18.wut.jpg (63KB, 768x432px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 768x432px

>>155367
What? Ask another question

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>155350
How long has the Catholic Church been preparing the way for an alien invasion of Earth?

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>155350
Start eugenics for monstergirls

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>155385
WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>155385
Make the US part of the Vatican

>>155351
this

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>155385
Don't ignore muh loli
>>155351
>>155351

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>155406
Deus vult

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>155385
When Does the Narwhal Bacon?

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>155350
Massacre all lolis to extinction

File: 19.shit.aliens.png (208KB, 736x450px) Image search: [Google]

208KB, 736x450px

>>155389
HOW DID YOU FIND US???
This is the start of an intergalactic war.
>>155406
Well. Too late

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>155421
Second

>>155351
This one

Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>155422
Ask Russia to use their nukes this time and nuke the Vatican to shit.

>>155422
BOOOOOOO
We want loli

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>155422
We must transform the USA to monstergirls.
Lolis become extinct

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>155422
Make the aliens' princess fall in love with us, that way they'll join us.

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>155422
Activate stargate program and send nukes into mother ship of aliens and take theirs technologies.

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>155422
Make a mandatory nudity law for all underaged females

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>155422
Give me holy Lolis or give me death desu!

Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>155422
"Think very carefully, Mister Alien. What if I told you... HAWAII IS A MISSILE!

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>155447
Nuke this poster. RNGesus wills it.

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>155422
Massacre lolis

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>155422
Construct LIBERTY PRIME. DESTROY, INTERGALACTIC COMMUNISTS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtu6ZFBuNZE

Rolled 100 (1d100)

Loli Genocide

>>155468
Deus Vult

>>155460
>>155468
RNGesus has spoken

>>155422
>>155468
Nat100 boys

Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>155468
Fuuuck yooouu

>>155460
>>155454
You failed

>>155468
GOD BLESS THIS ROLL. GOD BLESS THE ENCLAVE! PURGE THE IMPURE LOLIS

>>155477
>rngesus
>takes three rolls
Nein

>>155447
You must be the faggot that ruinned Jara's thread

>>155468
DAAAAMN, that is nice

File: 20.loli genocide.jpg (78KB, 736x414px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 736x414px

>>155447
Well. Lolis wins I guess
You did a Loli army to engage against the aliens. There are a lot of haters that are against using underage semi-nude minors to fight extraterrestial forces. But fuck them, in desperate times you must make desperate desisions.
>>155468
>100
Aaaaand, your army dies. Also every other loli in the world

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>155486
No, I am not, stop projecting your bullshit in a random idiocy thread.
>butthurt about loli
How much of a faggot are you?

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>155493
Nuke the US

File: 16c78beba88cb209219fd820abcfdd3af8e72672_hq.jpg (97KB, 800x1000px) Image search: [Google]

97KB, 800x1000px

Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>155493
Make a new army of bipedal scorpiongirl paladins with holy powers.

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>155493
Use their carcasses to make an undead army to fend them off
Then switch your faction name from USA to "Necromantic States of America", NSA

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>155493
>Activate stargate program, Stole aliens technologies and send nukes into mother ship of aliens.

File: Mr_Pebbles_.jpg (161KB, 1759x2346px) Image search: [Google]

161KB, 1759x2346px

>>155493
MAKE A GREATER ARMY THEN. THOSE NO GOOD COMMUNIST LOLIS WERE INECTING OUR RANKS OF THE GREATEST NATION ON EARTH. AND WE CAN NOT ACCEPT WEAKNESS IN OUR ARMY, OH NO. WE ONLY CAN ACCEPT THE HIGHEST ORDER OF TROOPS THE WORLD HAS BEEN BESTOWED. THE ENCLAVE, TO FIGHT OFF THESE INTER-GALACTIC TERRORISTS WHOM THREATEN AMERICA.
GOD BLESS AMERICA
GOD BLESS THE ENCLAVE!

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>155506
Seconding

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>155493
Your semen turns out to be the aliens' weakness

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>155493
We instruct every human to do a Goatse in front of our new alien overlords, that they may bestow their holy seed unto our bums.

>>155504
Also genocide monstergirls and supporters.

Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>155513

File: 21.why.png (5KB, 503x453px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 503x453px

>>155503
Why so you want to nuke your own country in the middle of an intergalactic war?

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>155513

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>155542
Yes

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>155542
No, nuke the ayylmaos instead

>>155542
We blame it on England.

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>155542
Eat a nuke and loli corpses filled with unholy Elder magicks to finally unlock your powers and become Mahou Shoujo Puresidento-Sama
Then beat back the aliens

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>155542
>>Activate stargate program, Stole aliens technologies and send nukes into mother ship of aliens.

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>155577
Not XCOM?

>>155420
At midnight, of course.

File: 22.Mahou Shoujo Puresidento-Sama.png (22KB, 503x453px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 503x453px

>>155561
You kicked those alien butts. You saved the day... again.
Now, what do with your newfound powers?
>>155577
>>155578
Sorry, I already draw the costume and all. Also I am a sucker for these things.

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>155624
Rape the ayylmao corpses

Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>155624
>>155504
You and USA become bipedal scorpiongirl paladins

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>155624
If we're the Mahou Shoujo President then we need Japan!

We declare Japan the 52nd state of the NSA and demand that they speak with poor-quality American subtitles.

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>155624
Begin rallying for war against ayy lmaos

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>155642
And send message. "You are rook that same,but all your base belong to us."

File: 23.Americanese.jpg (68KB, 900x697px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 900x697px

>>155642
Japan is now the 52nd state of america!
You should show them some gratitude for not resisting at all. How?

>>154822
SHIT NIGGER WE ARE ON SFW BOARD

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>155659
Turn the USA into the United States of the American Roman Empire and conquer the Mediterranean.
The entirety of the USARE Transform into Bipedal Scorpiongirl Legionnares.

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>155665
>1 and 1 away from trips
Like poetry

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>155659
Ban anime, manga and other cartoons for kids.

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>155659
Command the USA's best artists to draw the illustrations for romantic monstergirl manga.

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>155659
Invade China nd korea and give the Japs their land

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>155659
Make anime real.

File: 24.woow.png (21KB, 495x450px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 495x450px

>>155676
By doing that you ban yourself and enter a wormhole. How do you scape?

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>155730
Call for the Sailor Senshi to help you. Then ask them for a serafuku.

Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>155730
>How do you scape

You Rune-scape.

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>155730
>>155706
By doing what anon said, we needed the wormhole to achieve ultimate power

File: 25.anime queen.png (23KB, 495x450px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 495x450px

>>155748
So you did! Now anime is real and you are the queen of anime. The world is now chaos and you are the ultimate being. With this you will surely win the next elections!

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>155772
Become a futa

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>155772
>>155665

>>155772
Create a personification of the USA to be your fellow mahou shoujo

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>155780
>>155772
Forgot roll

File: 25.Sidekick.png (24KB, 447x356px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 447x356px

>>155778
You are already pretty much the queen of the world.
>>155776
You are already one now. Also you got a tootbrush mustache
>>155789
>>155780
What will you do as your first adventure?

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>155820
Go to sweden and remove kebab

>>155820
Get mexican hats for you and your sidekick so you can show everyone else in the world how supportive you are of multiculturalism. Anime multiculturalism no less.

>>155820
There's also the USARE and scorpiongirl thing

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>155820
Make love to America with your futa cock

File: 27.futa love.png (22KB, 279x312px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 279x312px

>>155845

>>155863
You should make some president shit also. What?

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>155863
Revert all anime and ban it, become George Washington and turn America-shoujo back into the USA, before flying off in the sunset riding an eagle

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>155863
Become Punished "Venom" President

Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>155869
Extra vegan burgers for all muricans for free !

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>155863
>>155873
Support

File: 28.you are a hero.jpg (264KB, 1344x756px) Image search: [Google]

264KB, 1344x756px

>>155873
>>155887
And you fly towards the sunset. You are a hero my friend.

>>155906
Lets take a moment and think. How did we start as the president of the usa to destroy bolivia, fuck China and Russia (literally), make Japan a state, make Canada and France our bitches, become a mahou shoujo fighting the aliens, be the queen of the anime, and ended up being washington on a eagle flying towards the sunset? All in four hours and a half.
/qst/ is a magical place. Also fuck that loli guy/s

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>155936
Fly to Washington state and have your eagle kill all the freedom-hating hipsters there

>>155936
Fuck you too for being a whiny bitch and denying rolls you dislike.

>>156183
I will take some constructive critisism for future quests and ask you: when did I do that?
>>155972
Sorry. The quest ended for now. I may retake this tomorrow or in the wekend or maybe begin a totally new one.

>>156225
Not him but the Roman Scorpiongirl thing

>>156317
This?
>>155665
>>155778
>>155820
Oh, Sorry for that. I kind of forgot that while writing.

>>154561
herd all of the canadians into boats and send them to the middle east with hockey sticks, the look of anguish on those canadians when they realise that it's hard to make an ice rink in the middle of a desert.

File: Benis.png (6KB, 419x249px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 419x249px

>>154447

Make muslims become caveman.... Oh wait..

>>154480
dice+1d100
this2bh