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Anonymous
Vampire Hunter adventure thing, part 6 2017-05-26 05:25:05 Post No.
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Vampire Hunter adventure thing, part 6 2017-05-26 05:25:05 Post No.
[Report] Image search: [Google]
OH SHIT NIGGER(s) it's an adventure about killing vampires n shit.
4 vampire hunters is going to infiltrate a vampire castle to kill the head vampire there for casting a spell than kept the world at perpetual night time.
Each hunter needs at least 1 player to be the voices in their head to tell them what to do n shit.
Just name yourself something with the highlighted title under the hunter to identify which team you're going with. Example: Regular Hunter Faggot -> Controls Oswell the regular Hunter
Need at least 1 player for each dude, DOESN'T mean each character is limited to 1 player.
The more players each character has, the more rerolls that team gets.
Currently the party is hiding inside a broom closet, after escaping an ecounter with an Elder Vampire.
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>1498657
punch self in face
>>
>>1498665
Joseph punched himself in the face
>>
>>1498671
examine broom closet
>>
IS THIS AFTERLIFE?
>>
>>1498675
Well it's a closet. With brooms in it. Plus 1 bucket and 1 mop.
>>
>>1498683
I NEVER THOUGHT HEAVEN WILL LOOK AS A CLOSET
>>
>>1498683
put a bucket on GAR's head
>>
>>1498692
WHO TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS?
IS IT HELL INSTEAD?
WHERE I AM?
>>
>>1498692
discombulate Gar
>>
>>1498706
take off the bucket and slap him now
we're not in heaven, idiot
>>
>>1498706
THIS IS HELL!!
I RECOGNIZE THIS EVIL TRICKERY!
EVEN IN HELL I WON'T STOP FIGHTING!
WHERE IS MY TRUSTY SWORD!?
>>
>>1498707
>>1498710
Hopefully this will calm him down
>>
>>1498657
look for an exit
>>
>>1498720
offer to make Gar a wooden sword out of those brooms and mops and the bucket
>>
>>1498720
JOSEPH, MY FRIEND
WHAT THE MEANING OF THIS.
WAIT WHAT? WE ARE STILL ALIVE?
WELL FUCK
WHAT I GONNA DO WITHOUT SWORD.
CAN I MAKE SWORD OUT OF THOSE BROOMS AND MOP?
>>
>>1498720
Meanwhile Bob and master Mark are chilling at his clocktower smoking some bleed; weed glazed with blood
>>
>>1498723
Horace turns around and finds a door
>>1498724
>>1498727
Gar kept on yelling
>>1498729
Meanwhile, nefarious vampire shenanigans are afoot
>>
>>1498736
Joseph and Gar combo crafting roll for a wooden sword, niggaaaaaa
>>
>>
>>1498736
Stop yelling!
>>
>>1498736
peep through the door lock
>>
>>1498745
THAT'S HELMET'S ECHO
>>
>>1498749
CAN YOU EVEN HEAR US?
>>
>>1498736
Dude.. What if we're like.... Alive.
... and the humans are dead?
>>
>>1498756
OBVIOUSLY
>>
>>1498758
WHAT?!
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>1498742
>>1498743
Roll 1d10. The result with be your combined roll
>>1498745
>>1498747
Horace peeks through the door lock while telling Gar to shut the fuck up
Roll 1d10
9-10: Something Good
5-8: Something Bad
2-4: Something very bad
1: Get stabbed in the eye
>>1498757
"Duuude, what if none of us a re aliive, maaaaan. What if....we're all a part of some other dudes' immagination on some forum or whatever...that'd be fucked up maaaaaaaan"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1498763
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1498763
critical niggaaaa
>>
>>1498747
roll budday roll!
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
rolling
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>1498763
shit,I rolled a d100
>>
>>1498773
dice 10 dude
>>
>>1498777
I forgive you
>>
>>1498766
>>1498767
The crafting failed.
>>1498777
Oh cool, the coast is clear. No enemies arounf so far. It's safe to get out of the closet.
lol
>>
>>1498782
ask Horace to help us craft a wooden sword
>>
>>1498782
I think we should get a whip for our agile selves
>>
>>1498782
ARE YOU SURE I CAN'T LEARN HAND TO HAND TECHNIQUES?
ALSO STOP THE BLEEDING
>>
>>1498784
sure
>>
>>1498782
"Coast is clear,time to move fuckers"
Open the door
>>
>>
>>1498796
since there are 3 characters being played I'll move to Regular hunter
>>
>>1498803
apply first aid then
then we craft the sword, nigga
>>
>>1498803
So what are you planning on doing with that waifu spirit master?
>>
>>1498803
hugh fine,aply first aid to Gar,them open the fucking door
>>
I REALLY NOW DON'T WANT TO SEE MYSELF IN THE MIRROR WITHOUT HELMET AFTER ALL OF THAT
>>
>>1498807
>>1498817
Gar has been saved as Horace steps out of the closet.
>>1498811
"poke"
>>
>>1498824
TRY TO FIND SOME SWORDS, HORSEFACE
>>
>>1498824
nvm I don't wanna be Reggi
I put investment in Horace now.
So Horace also helps Axebro with his crafting.
>>
>>1498824
look around the new room
"hey fuckers time to come out of the closet in a non homossexual way"
>>
>>1498830
LET'S MAKE SWORDS TOGETHER THEN, THRU THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP
>>
>>1498830
fine i will switch to regular hunter fucking drama queen
>>
>>1498824
Maybe we should return the sword and the waifu to the hunters? They seemed really sad over their losses
>>
>>1498833
will do
>>
>>
>>1498836
thanks meng
>>
>>1498840
open that door for swords, OP
>>
>>1498824
>tfw no gf
open the sword door maybe i can find a gf there
>>
>>1498840
HM.. BUT WHAT IF THAT ROOM IS NOT FILLED WITH SWORDS BUT WITH ENEMIES WITH SWORDS AND I'M HERE WITHOUT EVEN WOODEN SWORD
>>
>>1498840
True lmao. Wheres Jamal by the way? You'd think he would be here with us smokin
>>
Hey regular, if you want I can step in for you?
>>
>>1498848
hes got a point, remember the armor incident of '94
>>
>>1498848
no worries m8 you can scream them to death
>>
>>1498860
rip 2puk
>>
>>1498860
it sure as hell is working on me
>>
>>1498845
>>1498846
Sadly there is no gf in here for Oswell. Last thread he managed to harness his virgin powers and create a spirit gf, but then Mark the Elder Vampire took her and shoved it inside Gar's broken sword, creating a new Living Sword minion for him.
>>1498849
"Jamal died in a gang dispute"
>>
>>1498868
What the fuck?! With the faggy ghoul gang? I'll avenge my homie
>>
>>1498868
let Gar have the swords
>>
>>1498868
EXAMINE THE SWORDS IN SWORDS ROOM VIA POKING THEM WITH TIP OF THE MOP FROM AFAR
WHO KNOWS WHAT DEVIL TRICKERY THIS CAN BE
>>
>>1498868
grab one of these swords and give it to Gar
"HERE,NOW BE A GOOD BOY AND STOP SCREAMING"
>>
>>1498874
it's the echo, he will never stop...
>>
>>1498874
Oh shit it's a Possessed Sword.
Oswell is now possessed.
Battle initiating.
>>
>>1498877
I FUCKING KNEW IT
>>
>>1498877
PULL BACK ATTACK NIGGA
>>
>>1498877
damn well what do you know.
Move to disarm!
>>
>>1498877
I sense a disturbance in the horse, master
>>
>>1498877
kek,atack the unarmed target a.k.a Gar
>>
Hey regular, if you want I can step in for you?
Ps: hello is large gar
>>
>>1498880
>>1498886
Before that happens. Block the incoming attack from the axeman.
Roll 1d10
>>1498882
"I just don't feel like my unlife is going anywhere" - Vampire Horse
>>1498889
Just join in you homo
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1498892
>>
>>1498893
Ah yes, a zero.
Joseph didn't roll. So he also got a zero
>>
>>1498892
can't I use my agile dexxyness to disarm?
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>1498899
Let's ask dice god for an answer
1-5: No
6-10: yes
>>
>>1498898
so what happens do we stare at each other and do nothing? Because that is kind of gay
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
Second thought I'm joining as Gar
GRAB THE AXE
>>
>>1498903
YOU BECOME ORCS
IT'S AN ANCIENT CURSE
>>
>>1498905
WAIT WHAT
WHAT WE NEED AXE FOR
>>
>>1498907
can't be helped
>>
>>1498900
thanks for the 10 and dubs dice god
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1498897
>>1498895
Oh wait, there's a roll.
ANOTHER POSSESED SWORD FLIES IN TO INTERCEPT
>>1498905
While Gar becomes a jealous dirty rotten thief and steals Joseph's axe. Depriving him of power.
>>
>>1498892
now that joseph is trying to pick his axe back,try to cleave Gar in half
>>
>>1498911
GIVE THAT AXE BACK
DEUS VULT AND BLOCK THE CURSED SWORD BY ARMOR
>>
>>1498911
aw common I had something good.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1498911
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD SWORD
SLICE AND DICE THEM
>>
>>1498912
>>1498914
>>1498915
Amidst the confusion, Joseph failed to notice that he grabbed the second sword instead.
The sword gets pulled back and smacked all three hunters in the face
Yusuf has 5/7 HP left
Horace has 4/6 HP left
Gar has 7/9 HP left.
Oh and possessed Oswell is attacking Gar.
Horace's the fastest, perhaps he could run interference?
Possessed Oswell's power is +10
While Gar's is 7
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
THROW AXE AT SWORD
>>
>>1498922
nigga what the fuck
you idiots need to stop FUCKING WITH MY AXE
>>
>>1498922
HOW DO YOU CLEANSE THE POSSESSION OP
READ THE FUCKING MANUAL ASAP
>>
>>1498922
run interferences
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>1498922
FINALLY I WILL MAKE THE SCREAMING STOP
dodge and try to stab Gar
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1498930
AWOKEN MY FRIEND
THIS IS NOT YOU
PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE TO WAKE HIM UP
>>
"I HAVE NO QUARREL WITH YOU, EVERYMAN, I SIMPLY WISH TO CLEANSE THESE SWORDS"
>>
>>1498928
>>1498930
OH SHIT! CAN HORACE PREVAIL?! he must also roll a 10 to stop the Possessed Oswell
>>1498932
While Gar is pretty much fucked
>>1498924
>>1498925
>>1498924
Oh and Gar, being a dumbass, tried throwing Joseph's axe at the sword. But the axe was way heavier than he immagined.
So he missed.
Now Joseph's axe is embeded into a wall behind the swords.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1498935
oh boy here comes the fail attempt!
but it's the attempt that counts right?
nah
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1498932
ALSO YES THIS
>>
>>1498935
GET TO THE CHOPPA, EHM I MEAN THE AXE AND THROW IT BACK TO JOSEPH
>>
>>1498935
op do you mean roll a d10 or have to get a 10?
>>
OK HANG ON WHO ACTUALLY IS HOLDING POSSESSED SWORDS RIGHT NOW
>>
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>>1498935
try to picture my spiritual waifu chering me while I attack gay
>>
>>1498936
>>1498937
And so Gar gets cut.
He has 4/9 HP left.
Now it's the hunters' turn.
>>
>>1498943
ok that answers my question
>>
>>1498943
nigga what the fuck
give me my axe back
grab it out of the wall and prepare a VERTICAL cleave to attack on oswell
>>
>>1498943
RESTRAIN MOVEMENTS OF OSWELL BY REPEATEDLY PUNCHING HIM IN THE FACE
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
KICK THE POSSESSED SWORD FROM HIS HAND
DROPKICK THAT SHIT
>>
>>1498942
MEANWHILE, INSIDE THE MIND OF POSSESSED OSWELL
HE'S BEING KEPT DOCILE THANKS TO THE ILLUSION OF HAVING A HAREM OF HUNTER-chan
>>
>>1498953
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
>>
THE DICE GODS FAVOUR GAR TODAY
>>
>>1498953
ok attack sword aI'm to disarm
>>
>>1498953
kek
they all jealous of my waifus.Kill these fuckers
>>
>>1498955
EASY ON PREROLLS NIGGA
>>
Oh and forgot to mention, Horace's the fastest so he's the first hunter to. Whatcha doin, Horace?
>>1498957
Oh right.
POSSESSED OSWELL ROLL 1d10 against Horace
>>
>>1498957
aim*
fucking auto correct, sure I'm a terrible speller but for fucks sakes this thing pissed me off
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>1498960
counter this agile fucker,stop him from stealing my waifus
>>
>>1498961
The fuck kinda autocorrect turns aim in "al'm"
>>
>>1498966
when I backspace anywhere in a word it starts over and thought I was typing "I'm"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
I SHALL BOOST QUICKMAN'S ROLL WITH MORAL SUPPORT
"YOU HAVE REALLY PRETTY EYES HORACE"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>1498970
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1498971
NO YOU DON'T
JUST PUNCH THAT FACE OUT OF HIS DAYDREAMING CAUSE DAYDREAMING IS EVIL
>>
MY GOD WE'RE GETTING KARMA FOR ALL THOSE GOOD ROLLS
>>
And to think after all this we're going to die to the regular guy
>>
>>1498974
>>1498963
Horace kicks away the sword!
Inside his mind, Oswell's waifus suddenly leave him for Chad the Vampire hunter.
Then he wakes up.
>>
HEY KICKING THE SWORD WAS MY IDEA, GAR IS OFFENDED
>>
>>1498980
well, it looks like we can't use these swords unless...
try sprinkling holy water on one of them
>>
>>1498980
SEE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
DON'T
TOUCH
UNFAMILIAR
STUFF
IN
EVIL
PLACES
WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE TEACHING YOU IN HUNTER'S ACADEMY NOWADAYS
>>
>>1498980
Stupid, stop grabbing shit!
Axeman lets make us a sword for scream 2 over here.
>>
>>1498981
NO WE ARE NOT
>>
WE ARENT SCREAMING, WE'RE WHISPERING VERY LOUDLY
IT'S TACTICAL I SWEAR
>>
>>1498980
sorry...
(cry silently because waifus left me)
>>
>>1498985
I FEEL LIKE WE ARE NO LONGER ON THE SAME PAGE AS OUR CHARACTER
>>
>>1498988
tears
>>
>>
>>1498990
sprinkle holy water on the swords to unposses them.
>>
I wanna spasm around as Oswell attacks
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>1498990
try to canalize virgin powers and tears to create new spiritual gf
>>
Like dubs more than subs.
>>
>>1498992
>>1498994
THE SWORDS HAVE A FAILSAFE: THE REACT VIOLENTLY WHEN HOLY WATER GETS SPRINKLED ON THEM!
THEY EXPLODE INTO PIECES. EVERYONE ROLL 1d10 TO AVOID THE SHRAPNELS!
7-10: Avoided
1-6: Yer fucked
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1498999
sheeit nigga
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>1498999
GODDAMMIT
I WAS SURE THERE WAS A SAFER WAY TO CLEANSE THEM IN THE MANUAL
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1498999
I'M HELPING
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1498999
hugh,i felt better when i was posssesed
roll out of the way
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1498999
>>
>>1498997
nigga, you gotta roll
>>
>>1499007
It's just shrapnel.
Who ever died from small pieces of metal launched at high speeds?
>>
>>1499007
damn
>>
>>1499008
I dunno haven't met one yet
>>
the irony is that Gar is the only one who avoided the blast
>>
>>1499013
Indeed.
Now everyone except gar is bleeding.
>>
>>1499014
apply first aid on Horace
>>
>>1499014
APPLY FIRST AID ON THEM
ALSO ALL SWORDS ARE EXPLODED? NOT EVEN ONE LEFT?
>>
>>1499014
aply first aid on myself
(it might heal my wounds but it wont heal my feelings : (
>>
>>1499014
we do the first aid, of course
>>
Tap out a hymn to aid the healing
>>
>>1499015
>>1499020
The bleeding stops
>>1499017
Yes
>>1499018
The bleeding stops.
But not the pain.
>>
>>1499023
>Yes
are sword shards still possessed?
>>
>>1499023
start crafting a sword for Gar. Or find a merchant.
>>
>>1499025
EVERYONE LEND ME YOUR STRENGTH
>>
WE MAKE A SWORD FROM THE BROOMS AND OTHER WODDEN THINGS THEN LIFT THE DOOR OFF ITS HINGES FOR A SHIELD
>>
>>1499024
>are sword shards still possessed?
Oh hey, thanks for the miniboss idea.
>>
>>1499031
ALWAYS A PLEASURE
>>
>>1499025
tap furiously in support
>>
>>1499031
PREPARE OURSELVES FOR A FIGHT
>>
>>1499031
can this guy wait? I mean it wouldn't hurt to just chill for a sec miniboss.
>>
>>1499034
LOOK WHO IS TALKING
IT'S MISTER SMARTFACE "LET'S GRAB THIS UNKNOWN SWORDS IN EVIL PLACE"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
LETS ALL JUST PUT OUR DIFFERENCES ASIDE AND MAKE A SWORD
>>
>>1499031
lock myself in broom locker and sob.I am in no psychological condition to fight a boss right now
>>
>>1499038
To be fair, it was a bunch of free swords. We'd be dumb not to grab one.
>>
Hop off of Regular Hunter Oswell's foot because he's bitch-made.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>1499037
*sword noises*
Translation: "Nah"
Roll 1d10 to dodge the attack
>>
>>1499041
YOU INSPECT THEM FIRST
FREE LOOT DOESN'T EXIST
IT'S ALWAYS A RUSE
>>
>>1499043
even my left boot abandoned me grr
at least i still have the right one
>>
>>1499045
Well how do you inspect something for being cursed? Holy water just makes em explode and touching em gives you chronic wet dreams.
>>
>>1499045
well,ispecting and spilling holy water over them sure worked fine
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1499044
>>
>>1499051
I wasn't sentient till a few turns ago, give me a break.
>>
>>1499052
he's stuck on caps lock, don't take it personal.
>>
>>1499050
Kerslashed.
Horace now has 3/6 HP left.
Now it's Horace's turn
>>
>>
>>1499054
Speed strike
>>
>>
>>1499055
Is there gonna be an extra chapter about losing your most important pieces of equipment?
>>
>>1499060IN PAID DLC: GAR'S SADNESS
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1499056
>>1499056
Roll 1d10
>>1499058
YOu're already outside boi. All the hunters are in this battle
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>1499064
watch me fail then I flail!
>>
>>1499066
noice you live to speed-strike another day
>>
>>1499066
Living Sword Abomination has 8/9 HP left.
Now it's Oswell's turn
>>
DON'T FUCK UP OSWELL
I'LL DO A FLIP
>>
>>1499069
jeez it got high defence for a shattered swoard
>>
>>1499071
Well how exactly do you expect to deal good damage to something that's already broken to pieces?
>>
>>1499071
It's 3 swords together
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>1499069
slice through it
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1499074
Sword Abomination has +10 Power
Oswell has +6 Averageness
>>
>>1499077
>>1499074
A hit!
6/9 HP left!
Now it's Joseph's turn
>>
>>1499080
URAAAAAAH
CHOP ATTACK
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>1499082
Roll 1d10
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>1499084
FWOOOOOOOOOSH
>>
>>1499086
It dodged.
Now it's Gar's turn.
>>
>>1499087
WHAT CAN I DO?
I MEAN SERIOUSLY
>>
>>1499088
...tackle it?
What else can you do unarmed?
>>
>>1499087
Bob appears and asks everyone how they're doing
>>
>>1499089
IT'S TECHNICALLY NOT LISTED IN MY SKILLS, SO I'M NOT SURE
BUT I WOULD VOTE FOR TACKLING, YES
AKA RAMMING
>>
>>1499092
throw your helmet at it(maybe this way you would stop screaming)
>>
>>1499093
>throwing important piece of armor
THAT WOULD BE DUMB
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1499090
>>1499091
>>1499092
Roll 1d10 to tackle it
Power +10 It
Power +7 You
>>
>>1499095
>unwinnable roll
TACKLING IS HARD
>>
>>1499094
>ramming a bunch of lethal sharp objects
>>
>>1499095
Maybe I should back up the hunters for this fight, lest they get their shit kicked in
>>
>>1499100
You'd think they wouldn't be getting pushed around by some floating bits of metal, but here we are.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1499100
"nigga u high"
>>1499101
Ramming into sharp objects didn't work. And Gar basically stabbed himself
7/9 HP left.
Now it's the Sword Abomnication's turn again.
It's gonna split itself and stab everyone.
All hunters roll 1d10
It has +10 Power
Horace has +10 Speed
Joseph has +10 Power
Oswell has +6 no gf
Gar has +7 Power
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1499105
>Ramming into sharp objects didn't work. And Gar basically stabbed himself
THINK HARDER ABOUT OTHER POSSIBLE MOVES
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1499105
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>1499105
ahhh
>>
>>1499107
>>1499108
Gar has 4/9 HP left while Horace dodged that shit.
The other two are nowhere to be seen.
>>
>>1499111
KINDA SUCKS THAT ARMOR HELPS ONLY AGAINST BITES YOU KNOW
SEEMS LIKE IT USELESS
>>
>>1499107
SHOULD HAVE THROWN THE DAMM HELMET
>>
>>1499113
The armor is what gave you 9HP in the first place.
Take it off and you drop down to about 3 max HP
>>
>>1499115
Would throwing more holy water at the swords help or not?
>>
>>1499112
>>1499110
Oh good. So only Gar was hit.
Normal services have been resumed.
Now it's Horace's turn.
>>
>>1499119
cloak stab
>>
>>1499117
Yeah.
>>
>>1499119
>So only Gar was hit
thank God we are back to usual
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>1499120
Roll 1d10
>>
You guys oughtta fill me with holy water and chuck me at the damn sword.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>1499123
Common dice give me sumthin nice!
>>
>>1499124
supporting that for next turn
>>
>>1499125
Despite having no eyes, the thing saw through your attack and dodged.
Now it's Oswell's turn.
>>
>>1499124
but wont my feet get weet afterwards?Is it really worth it?
>>
>>1499129
You'll take your trench-foot and you'll like it.
>>
>>1499128
can any one tell me what items we got? I have no idea.
>>
>>1499130
also I am leaving now,take over boot
>>
>>1499132
Be warned that this is your last amount of holy water.
>>
>>1499134
THERE WILL BE BLOOD
>>
>>1499136
>inb4 it explodes even in smaller shards
>>
>>1499136
oh shit nigga
get ready to dodge
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
Oswell roll 1d10 to throw temporary holy-infused boot
Sword thing has +10
Oswell has +6
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1499141
CATCHPHRASE
>>
>>1499142
Congrats.
You lost a boot.
>>
>>1499144
WHAT IS THIS FOUL STENCH
>>
>>1499144
so what happened? did the sword abomination slice at the boot?
>>
>>1499146
no you missed and boot is now gone, it's not a boomerang.
>>
>>1499145
>>1499146
No it dodged it. Now your boot flew out the window and into the abyss.
So it's Joseph's turn
>>
>>1499147
ONLY MY SOCKS ARE
>>
>>1499148
Pull back attack nigga
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1499152
Roll 1d10
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>1499153
>>
>>1499154
I'd chastise you, but I did no better
>>
>>1499154
The stench of Oswell threw off your aim.
Now it's Gar's turn
>>
>>1499156
I think we should be doing combo attacks my niggas
>>
>>1499157
THROW OSWELL ONTO SWORD THING
MAYBE THIS FOUL STENCH WILL DESTROY POSSESSED SWORD MAGIC
>>
>>1499159
going nuclear so soon? dirty bombs are banned by the UN you know.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1499159
>>1499159
Roll 1d10
Sword Thing has +10
The combined powers of you and Oswell has +13
Note that if you fail Oswell will be harmed
>>
WATCH ME BODY SPLASH THIS NIGGA
>>
>>1499161
SHIT NIGGA YOU LITERALLY CAN'T FAIL THIS
>>
>>1499157
We finally realize why oswell has no gf
>>
>>1499165
I pray the lord can slake this terrible demon inhabiting my foot.
Bitches don't go for stanky ass feet.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1499163
Smack. The Abomination has 4/9 HP left.
Now it's It's turn.
And since he's right there, it's gonna slice at Oswell.
Oswell roll 1d10
+10 Thing
+6 Oswell
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1499167
Stank dodge
>>
>>1499168
daymn needed a 6 and over
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1499167
Grab popcorn with master Mark
>>
>>1499168
>>1499170
Oswell gets stabbed. Leaving him with 4/8 HP
Now it's Horace's turn
>>
>>1499171
speed strike
>>
Channel my frustration at having no boot to cover my stank foot into Blood Rage.
Or whatever sperg spasm I can pull off.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1499172
Roll 1d10
>>
>>1499174
Why does Bob look so cute in non-fight scenes?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1499174
>>
>>1499176
"AGILE" HE SAYS!
>>
>>1499175
Laziness, mostly
>>1499176
Ya missed.
Now it's Oswell's turn.
Maybe he can try throwing his other boot, lmao
>>
>>1499179
oswell, let's team up bro
don't throw your fucking boot
>>
>>1499179
>Maybe he can try throwing his other boot, lmao
THAT WILL RESULT ON LARGE CHEMICAL AoE ATTACK ON WHOLE CASTLE
DON'T DO IT
>>
>>1499179
too slow.....? RRRREAAAAAAAAAGGHJJJ
>>
>>1499179
Autistic Spin Slash on the Sword Abomination
>>
>>1499179
Nah that looks great, kinda like that mongolian basket weave One Meme Man
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1499183
MY GOD! The spinning blades of no GF!
Roll 1d10
You have +6
It has +10
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1499185
>>
>>1499185
apparently the powers of autism aren't enough, OP
>>
>>1499185
HEH
>>
>>1499187
Oswell missed, and accidentally ran into Bob instead. Bob now has 6/8 HP. That'll teach him to lurk near battlezones.
Now it's Joseph's turn
>>
BOB I DIDN'T MEAN I'M SORRY
>>
>>1499190
JOSEPH
WHAT IF I THROW YOU AT THIS THING
SPINNING
>>
>>
>>1499193
It doesn't have a neck though.
>>
>>1499194
JOSEPH WILL FIND ONE
I BELIEVE IN HIM
>>
Perform hasty first aid on myself. Again.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
THROWING PEOPLE IS ALWAYS A GOOD PLAN
>>
>>1499199
ALSO PROVEN VERY EFFECTIVE SO FARbut seriously, stop prerolling
it'll eventually screw us over
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1499195
>>1499198
>>1499199
>2
Okay I'll take that roll
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1499201
HEY
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1499201
nigga what the fuck
where's our bonus for power nigga
>>
>>
>>1499204
you really like to delay us, OP
>>
Okay, what if I tried to spin slash it while being thrown?
>>
>>1499204
>Should have had Joseph throw Gar instead.
I DON'T HAVE WEAPONS
WHAT I GOTTA DO AFTER BEING THROWN?
>>
>>1499208
Be a bullet
>>
>>1499208
Body slam nigga. You a holy luchadore now that you ain't got no sword.
>>
>>1499209
HMMMM
TOO LATE FOR THAT NOW ANYWAY
WE CAN TAKE TURNS WITH JOSEPH
>>
Anyway. Joseph stabs himself on the sharp edges. He now has 4/7 HP left.
Now it's Gar's turn.
>>
>>1499213
JOSEPH
THROW ME
HARDER
>>
>>1499213
So, master Mark. What are our plans for the future after these hunters have been dealt with. Are gonna continue like usual, drinking blood n smoking bleed?
>>
>>1499217
HEY
IT'S JUST SEEM BETTER TACTICS THAN RAMMING IT AGAIN
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>1499217
Throwing Gar, roll 1d10
+10 Sword Thing
+17 You
-1 Million due to Gar being a little bitch
>>1499216
"Oh yeah. And keep making living armaments of course. Eventually Imma try for an armor the size of a castle"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1499220
what can I say, OP
gar's a little bitch
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1499220
I STARTING TO THINK THIS IS A BIT BIASED TOWARDS ME TAKING DAMAGE
CURL INTO CANNON BALL WHICH NEGATES DEBUFF AND ENHANCES ATTACK POWER
>>
>>1499220
If you succeed in doing that you can challenge that autist Walter for his position I bet.
>>
>>1499222
OR THAT DICE GOD IS JUST A DICK AS USUAL
>>
>>1499221
>>1499222
Nah I'm jsut kidding, you buff is still 17
But since GAr's a fag, he crashes into the sword pieces, damaging both him and it.
The thing has 2/9 HP left
Gar has 1/9 HP left
>>1499223
"Totally"
Oh and I gotta go answer the door for a bit, pls wait
>>
>>1499226
looks like Gar is getting intimate with another sword waifu
>>
>>1499226
I STARTING TO THINK THAT CONSTANTLY APPROACHING LARGE PIECES OF POSSESSED METAL IS A BAD THING
>>
>>1499228
took that many hits to figure that out huh?
>>
>>1499229
I AM NOT ENTIRELY SURE YET
>>
>>1499231
I see
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
Aight, I'm back.
THE FIEND DOES ANOTHER SHRAPNEL ATTACK, EVERYONE ROLL 1d10
It has +10 Power
Horace has +10 Speed
Joseph has +10 Power
Oswell has +6 no gf
Gar has +7 Power
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1499233
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1499233
SHITE
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>1499233
lmao no gf
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>1499233
I HOPE I'LL NOT DIE
AGAIN
>>
>>1499234
boi
>>
>>1499233
gar has to roll a 10 to survive
>>
>>1499239
WE HAVE FOOTWEAR
>>
>>1499239
Nah, Gar is still fucked
>>
>>1499242
I still have the other boot.
The floors here are actually immaculate, save for the copious amounts of blood.
>>
AND SO!
EVERYONE GOT HIT EXCEPT JOSEPH.
OSWELL AND HORACE HAS 1 HP LEFT
WHILE GAR IS DEAD, AGAIN.
It's Horace's turn
>>
HORACE! TEAM UP!
>>
>>1499245
inviso speedo fasto
>>
>>1499245
>WHILE GAR IS DEAD, AGAIN.
THAT KINDA SUCKS
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>1499248
>>1499246
FAST VIRGIN POWER!!!!
+10 It
+16 Combined U
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1499250
FUUUUUCK
>>
>>1499250
do we both roll?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1499252
Yeah
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1499250
>>
get fucked dumb sword
>>
yay, autism brothers over power with retard strength
>>
>>1499254
>>1499251
THE FIEND IS DEFEATED! THE PIECES CAN NO LONGER KEEP UP THEIR UNHOLY LIFE AND BURNED INTO ASHES AS THE SWORD ABOMINATION DIES!
The party is victorious!
Yay!
Gar's dead though but fuck him!
>>
>>1499257
>Gar's dead though but fuck him!
first aid anyone?
>>
>>1499257
revive gar and make him a fucking sword already!
>>
>>1499257
Gar will be deeply missed.Is this the first time he died? I'm new here.
>>
>>1499257
see if we can first aid Gar
if not, then bury him somewhere
>>
If Gar is dead, he probably wouldn't care if I took his boots, right?
>>
>>1499263
probably make you slower since you aren't as stronk as he is.
>>
>>1499264
But they have higher defense, right? Plus I gotta cover up this stank foot.
>>
>>1499265
yah sure.
>>
>>1499260
Nah, like 4th or something
>>
>>1499267
He has like 9 HP. How is this the 4th time?
>>
>>1499267
wait, when other 2 times happened?
>>
>>1499268
cause Gar's players are dumbasses
>>
>>1499268
General stupidity
>>
>>1499270
I can imagine that's the case if he's lost his sword and died a shit ton.
>>
Anyway. Who wants to save Gar?
And who wants to loot him instead?
>>
>>1499272
I still can't imagine it? this is what the 3rd or 4th thread? and he died that many times?
>>
>>1499273
Can I take his boots and try and save his dumb ass?
>>
>>1499273
loot, probably
but he doesn't have anything good
>>
>>1499273
since we don't get rerolls, I say bring him back, he still is useful.
>>
>>1499275
Yeah sure.
>>
>>1499279
then do that and Gar can't roll against it or try to take his stuff back on rules of this revive.
>>
So who's saving the barefeeted one?
>>
>>1499283
Joseph should do it. He's the competent one.
>>
>>1499283
Aye
>>
>>1499284
he does look the most competent in body fixing and detatchment.
>>
>>1499283
me, boss
he's probably gonna die
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1499288
Joseph Roll 1d10 to save Gar
Gar roll 1d10 to scream inside your own soul
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1499289
lmao there's no way I'm saving this little bitch
>>
>>1499290
Failed.
Try again?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1499289
HELLO
IS ANYONE THERE
AM I ALL ALONE
I NEED A BIGGER SWORD
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1499291
I guess
probably another less than 5
>>
>>1499291
cummon Jo
he's getting every where!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>1499293
lessee
>>
>>1499295
ayyy, I wonder if I get a third and final chance
>>
>>1499295
Aaaaaand he's still fucked.
WELP, I gotta head out. Won'tr be back until at least 5 ish hours later.
See ya
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
[INTERNAL SCREAMING]
>>1499297
>>
>>1499297
woah wait wuh? so end thread then?
>>
>>1499297
Cya boss
>>
>>1499297
looks like Gar is gonna bleed out in said time, OP
i propose we loot him and decapitate him so the vampires can't use him as a zombie
>>
>>1499301
If he does come back as a zombie we can probably take him.
Like incredibly easy.
>>
>>1499302
eh I want hid spine so I can make a gar whip out of him.
>>
>>1499304
That's actually a pretty good idea.
>>
>>1499307
it's the only way to preserve you if you don't make it! if anything you can put your soul into my new weapon and do some awesome special damage!
>>
>>1499309
I prefer not staying dead
>>
>>1499310
but if we can't revive you this is the next best thing!
>>
>>1499311
doubt.jpg
>>
>>1499323
me dying
again
>>
>>1499325
'Fo real? I thought you went on a vision quest so you'd die less often?
>>
The vision quest didn't work, couldn't see the visions past our visor
>>
>>1499325
Gar the ghoul can replace Jamal in my vampire squad just saying
>>
Gar can be brought back as spirit armour maybe
>>
>>1499328
not going to happen
>>
>>1499297
Hey QM, when you make the next thread could you link the previous thread to the next thread for those with thread notifications?
>>
>>
What can we say, he's a careless guy
>>
>>
>>1499342
Who's the Russian? The guy who ignored the QM's warnings of wearing possessed armor earlier?
>>
>>1499342
LIES AND PROVOCATION
>>
>>1499342
Seem like he be rushin ahead
rushin ahead
>>
>>1499342
can't say be a use I don't wanna out him, but I know it's him because he and I are ussually the firsts in these threads.
>>
>>1499352I thought everyone already knew anyway
>>
>>1499352
because* fuck this touch screen bullshit. The auto correct is already fucking stupid
due to constant porn watching so I must have malware, but the touch screen makes it even harder!
>>
>>1499355
they probably do but you are easy to spot. Much like me I assume, with out the name tag I mean.
>>
>>1499359
>you are easy to spot
I'm not exactly trying to hide
but I certainly don't try to kill off mine characters
>>
>>1499362
Tell that to Dick
>>
>>
>>1499362
I notice you are trying this time, but I notice others taking up your old habbits
>>
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>>1499364
he is still alive in my heartand usually it's way harder to kill yourself off than that
>>1499366
Not my fault
>>
>>
>>1499367
I do believe it is your fault, you started a cult of stupidity.
>>
>>1499368
>being from moscow
thank fucking god, no, I'm not from there
it's Siberia here dammit.
>>
>>1499371
ok that's what it was. but yeah the russian is your name for me.
>>
hope op didn't fall in a ditch filled with illegal/legal fireworks
>>
>>1499459
he said
>Won'tr be back until at least 5 ish hours later
and that was like 4 hours ago
>>
>>1499464
I know, can't a guy worry in advanced? Jesus!
>>
>>1499465
Worry about Gar. Dudes died for like the 5th time. His players have a deathwish.
>>
>>1499468
no worried bout getting my spine whip
>>
>>1499473
Oh yeah that is a legitimate concern.
>>
>>1499468
why that number increases?
>>
>>1499492
I dunno. I took a nap and that's what I remembered off the top of my head.
Is it 4 times?
>>
>>1499495
as far I'm aware - only 2 times
>>
>>1499537
oh it was only 2?
>>
>>1499543
yes. last thread and this one
>>
>>1499544
I thought it was a lot more, then I'll try harder to bring you back to life. I'm not gonna spine whip you until you die a 3rd time.
>>
>>1499545
now i should worry for OP?
>>
>>1499544
Now that's a lie and you know it.
>>
Anyway, who's still in here?
>>
>>
>>1499583
Bob
>>
>>
>>1499589
If you want I can try listing them for you.
>>
>>1499592
if you are not bored, I don't have time atm to check archives
>>
>>1499585
>>1499588
Right, who wants to try and save Gar?
>>1499589
Have you forgotten the most important of deaths? The one that you needed to make bribe to escape?
>>
>>
>>1499595
>Have you forgotten the most important of deaths? The one that you needed to make bribe to escape?
aaah
3 deaths then
but where is 4th one from?
>>
>>1499595
I'll try my hand I suppose
>>
>>1499595
Hey master Mark should I save Gar?
>>
File: 1495478169958.png (10KB, 500x500px) Image search:
[Google]
10KB, 500x500px
>>1499598
>>
>>1499595
what kind of bribe?
>>
>>1499593
Sure.
>>1499595
>Have you forgotten the most important of deaths? The one that you needed to make bribe to escape?
1st time you died by hitting a wall with your sword and getting shrapnel stuck in your head, we performed first aid on you out-of-thread. You made a bribe for that one.
2nd time you got mauled by a bunch of ghouls after you tried soloing them without the rest of the party, you got revived in-thread.
3rd time you got non-canonically blown up after you wore that possessed armor, but I'd still count that as a death because the player intentionally wore it despite being warned it was possessed.
4th time you tried grabbing the possessed sword and nearly got cleaved for it, we revived you in-thread.
5th time you just died in this thread after getting cut up by that Sword Abomination and we're currently trying to revive you for it.
>>
>>1499604
>2nd time you got mauled by a bunch of ghouls after you tried soloing them without the rest of the party, you got revived in-thread.
that was axedude
>>
>>1499604
>2nd time you got mauled by a bunch of ghouls after you tried soloing them without the rest of the party, you got revived in-thread.
I died there too?
Kinda missed that part.
Cool.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>1499600
"Nah, he's a fag. But if you do, give him AIDS also. Or an allergy to swords"
>>1499599
Roll 1d10
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>1499611
I'm not a doctor
>>
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>1499614
Indeed you are not.
>>1499615
Roll 1d10
>>
>>1499611
We should have Fred heal him if you wish AIDS for him
>>
>>1499616
I have been thinking...
Is it possible to flood castle with my blood?
>>
>>1499619
>giving the vampires more blood
>>
>>1499619
Nah, it's very absorbent.
In fact, all the blood spilled so far gets absorbed into the castle and given to the Vampire Lord himself. You've been very helpful in powering him up all this time.
>>
>>1499623
wot
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>1499616
>>
Rolled 4 (1d5)
>>1499617
Who else wants to try their hands at doctorin.
Gar has about [my roll] chances left
>>1499625
Yes
>>
welp Gar, looks like you're getting AIDS
>>
>>1499628
Okay, so let's try together this time.
Oswell, let's try stopping the bleeding together.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>1499628
give gar heals and sword allergy
>>
>>1499629
yeah that's not so bad
>>
>>1499630
too late!
>>
>>
>>1499632
Gar is now alive again.
He also has a severe allergy to swords. Whenever he holds one, no matter the size, he'll start coughing, wheezing and generally spazz out. Let it go on too long and goes into a stroke and die.
Oh and it also lowers his power and accuracy hurr hurr
>>
>>1499645
>He also has a severe allergy to swords. Whenever he holds one, no matter the size, he'll start coughing, wheezing and generally spazz out. Let it go on too long and goes into a stroke and die.
STRANGLE BOOOOOB
>>
>>1499645
Welp Gar, now you have to move on to Axes or Metal Mallets
>>
>>
File: 1.png (4KB, 500x500px)
4KB, 500x500px
>>1499646
Bob and Gar roll for strangle
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1499654
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME YOU FOUL CREATURE
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1499654
Master halp meh
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1499654
Use wall run to stop his escape!
>>
I wanna see if there are any weapons lying around that arent cursed
>>
>>1499655
>>1499657
>>1499659
>>1499661
Gar trues to strangle Bob!
Mark then reaches out and pulls Bob back into the shadows!
Horace jumps in to capture Bob!
Gar accidentally strangles Horace instead!
But it's okay, Horace put up his arms and stopped Gar in time.
>>
>>1499666
oh you dick op
>>
>>1499666
also satan is sick of your shit
>>
>>1499666
GAAAAH
HOW DO I LIVE NOW
WHAT FOR I LIVE NOW
WHAT IS THE POINT EVER
MUH SWOOORDS
>>
>>1499672
Perhaps this trustworthy gentleman over here could help
>>
>>1499674
Hey Totally Not Satan, what do you think of vampires?
>>
>>1499674
NEVER
>>
>>1499674
You got any badass weapons my dude?
>>
>>1499676
but its not satan, I think we can trust him
>>
>>1499678
DON'T
I'LL OVERCOME THIS CURSE MYSELF
>>
>>
>>1499683
>no you wont, you will die again, and I'll make your spine into a Whip.
WHIPOPHILE
>>
>>1499684
Now you know my secret
>>
>>1499675
"They're gay"
>>1499677
"of course"
>>1499683
You class can't use a whip. There's a hunter class for that but nobody chose it at the start.
>>
>>1499687
can I ... change my class?
>>
>>1499687
GO AWAY
YOU EVEN WORSE THAN TODD
>>
>>1499689
Can you?
>>
>>1499691
>that easy mode character
WEW
>>
>>1499692
Some guy, doens't matter.
>>
>>1499691
Change into Vampire Puncher!
>>
>>1499687
That sword ain't cursed, is it?
>>
>>1499695
sorry, ya can't.
That's what you get for not being here for character creation faget.
>>1499697
"Of course not, would Totally Not Satan lie to you?"
>>
>>1499699
It seems that Yusuf is in a coma.
Not anymore.
>>
>>1499699
It's not my fault the malware on my phone fucks up twitter to where your up dates come to me an 6 hours late!
>>
>>1499699
hmmm...lemme get that sword trustworthy gentleman
>>
>>1499702
you fooooool!
>>
>>1499702
>taking other unfamiliar swords
YOU ARE REAL SLOW LEARNER, ARE YOU
>>
>>1499702
The sword growls in agreement.
"It's pretty cheap, just step over here into my office and sign a little contract"
>>
>>1499705
Quiet you. You can't even use swords anymore and you have no boots.
>>
>>1499707
>"It's pretty cheap, just step over here into my office and sign a little contract"
What's the contract?
>>
>>1499707
Cool. Let me see the paperwork and we can get down to business.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1499707
slap Regular
If I can't change class you can't have a demonic sword!
>>
>>
>>
>>1499711
"Surre my friend, here, take a look at this"
>>
>>1499717
Fuck you don't you dare sign that you fucker!
>>
>>1499717
...I'm going to regret this.
But hey Cowboy Bebop exists.
I agree to the terms of the contract.
>>
>>1499721
as sure as I have no GF.
>>
>>1499723
do so
>>
>>1499720
"Yesssssss....Enjoy your new sword, no backsies"
Oswell now dual wields.
He does 4 damage per hit.
>>
>>1499729
well fuck
examine contract on fine print now.
let's see how much oswell is fucked
>>
>>1499729
What a kindly merchant.
Wait, did the sword growl earlier?
>>
>>1499729
Ask master Mark who that not-satan guy was
>>
>>1499729
ALSO OP WTF
WHY WE COULDN'T INTERRUPT HIM>
>>
>>1499729
ALSO WHY CAN'T i GET SOMETHING COOL!?
>>
>>1499737
THE ONE WHICH MOLESTED BY DEATH?
>>
>>1499734
>>1499735
"Dunno, never seen him before"
>>1499733
"This contract is not for you....Buuuut, I can cure you of that allergy if you want"
>>
>>1499740
Yo lemme reread that contract. I better not be owned by Walt Disney or some shit now.
>>
>>1499740
>"This contract is not for you....Buuuut, I can cure you of that allergy if you want"
I NEED NOTHING FROM LIKES OF YOURS
NOOOOOOOTHIIIIIIIING
>>
>>1499740
If theoretically not-satan was actually satan, why would he help the enemy? Isn't lord Caine associated with the devil someway?
>>
>>1499740
I DO
>>
>>1499741
It's worse, you're to become the next Bloodborn protag.
>>
>>1499740
Hey Mark and Bob, what do you two think of Totally Not Satan?
>>
>>1499741
Fine print discovered
>>1499744
"Not even this giant sword of +10 Swordness?"
>>1499745
"Indeed....then maybe he's actually totally not satan. Or perhaps the dark lord meant for the hunters to continue on in order to prolong their suffering, but that'd be dumb"
>>1499746
"You do? Do what?"
>>
>>1499748
Not to be trusted
>>
>>1499753
>"Not even this giant sword of +10 Swordness?"
YOU ARE NOT GETTING MY SOUL, FOUL BEAST
GO AWAY BEFORE I DECIDED TO RIP THAT HORNS OF YOURS
>>
>>1499753
I want a new weapon that adds to my class
>>
Not gonna lie, you should hear him out Gar.
This sword is pretty sweet.
>>
>>
>>1499756
"Sure, brand new Rapier. 3 damage per hit."
>>1499761
"Well that's quite a conumdrum...have you tried an exorcism?"
>>
>>1499773
>"Well that's quite a conumdrum...have you tried an exorcism?"
No, how would we do that?
>>
YOU ARE ALL WILL BE DEAD
DEAD I SAY
DON'T TRUST THE HORNED ONE
>>
>>1499773
what's the catch? show me the contract as I comb through it with a fine toothed comb.
>>
Ay lemme eye this sword super suspiciously
>>
>>1499781
"Go ahead"
>>1499779
"First, beat the sword itself, make it weak. But don't blow it up. THen hold it down. make a circle around it with holy water then do a group holy chant"
>>
>>1499773
>>1499780
But this is Totally Not Satan we're talking about, he's one of the more trustworthy folks around.
>>1499789
>"Go ahead"
What's the fine print?
>"First, beat the sword itself, make it weak. But don't blow it up. THen hold it down. make a circle around it with holy water then do a group holy chant"
Sweet, thanks Totally Not Satan.
>>
Also Im gonna be phone-posting for the next 10 minutes so can't namefag
>>
>>1499789
read the fine print, between the lines, back of the paper, and glow in the dark writing.
>>
>>
>>
>>1499802
Anime
>>
>>
>>1499802
"of course. Here's a bible with a bottle of holy water"
>>
>>1499808
Ask god what he thinks about this shady business
>>
>>1499808
Sweet. What's the name of this religion my good man? Are you involved in it?
>>
>>1499811
God don't answer to vampires
>>1499813
"Your religion, stupid, we work in the same church"
>>
>>1499821
I STILL DON'T TRUST YOU
>>
>>1499821
OK I'm sold
>>
>>1499821
Pray to Caine and ask what he thinks about this business
>>
>>
>>1499830
YOU ARE ALL GETTING RUSED
>>
Hey can Gar's class use nunchucks or staves?
>>
>>1499826
>>1499830
"Of course I'm ther merchant. The Order heard you're almost outta equips and shit so they ordered me to give you some. Don't mind the costume, it's costume party night back at the church."
>>1499828
A voice echoes inside Bob's head "Fucking hunter jews peddling shit inside my castle"
>>1499835
Nah, only swords.
hah
>>
>>1499838
SHOW ME YOUR PAPERWORK
>>
>>1499838
The hunters are all jewish? That would explain a lot actually...
>>
>>1499841
"Where's your sword motherfucker? I went through all that trouble upgrading it and where the shit is it?"
>>
>>1499845
he died and some Vamp cursed him with being allergic to swords when we brought him back to life.
>>
OOOOOHHHH GAR'S IN TROUBLE!
>>
>>1499845
I DIED TRYING TO SAVE IT GOT POSSESSED BY EVIL
OTHERS WILL CONFIRM
HELL, LOOK AT THIS WOUNDS I GOT BY REPEATEDLY RUNNING INTO IT
>>
>>
>>1499845
Hey man, you got anying for Jooseef?
>>
>>1499847
>>1499855
"How did he manage that? By being a complete dumbass?"
>>1499858
"Sure. Whatchu want my man? New axe? New cleaver? New armor? A sandwich?"
>>
>>1499861
Ay this sword is sus as fuck. What's its deal?
>>
>>1499861
>"How did he manage that? By being a complete dumbass?"
pretty much you know the norm. Also some vampire cursed him. He got away before I could skewer him.
>>
>>
>>
>>1499861
You got a new hat?
An armored one, to be precise.
Or one of them fancy cannon-hats, i like those.
>>
>>1499861
New cleaver or new armor, nigga
>>
>>1499867
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DelrvahUqkU
[IS PLAYING]
>>
>>1499861
I'm here. The fucks happening. Give me a rundown.
>>
>>1499876
Gar died again. My waifu got turned into a demon sword, then we fought a bunch of demon swords fused together, then I got a new sword from totally-not-Satan.
>>
>>1499876
YOUR OTHER VOICE CREATED A MIDBOSS
WHICH KILLED ME
AGAIN
AND THEN YOUR OTHER VOICE STOLE MY BOOTS
WHILE I WAS DEAD
>>
>>1499876
Where did you last leave off?
>>
>>
>>1499861
Why can't Gar use chainsaw instead? It is cooler and it is better at cleaving
>>
>>1499880
Well I needed boots after I threw mine at the sword monster. You were dead anyhow, the fuck would you need boots for.
>>
>>
>>
>>1499882
brb gonna go get a burrito
Agile Paul can take over
Paul you may have my name but that doesn't stop you from fucking up!
>>
>>1499881
Dude, I haven't participated since, like, two threads ago.
Just tell me whatever the hell is immediately important.
OP threatened me to show up, anyhow.
>>
>>1499869
>>1499870
"Armored Hat to do headbutts with, or a cannon"
>>1499888
Possessed Oswell doesn't count as a midboss
Sword Shards does.
>>
>>1499893
Looks pretty sick. Ya dun well, ma boy.
>>
>>1499897
does the armored hat give us more HP?
choose the cannon hat for now
>>
>>1499897
>Possessed Oswell doesn't count as a midboss
>
>Sword Shards does.
OBJECTION
MERE WORDS OF CURIOSITY AND CAUTION COULDN'T CREATE SUCH FOUL BEASTS AS THAT MIDBOSS
THERE IS CLEARLY CERTAIN FAT THING BEHIND IT
>>
>>1499895
Gar can't use swords anymore, we agreed that dubs > subs and that orcs are gay, and Gar still has no weapon.
>>
>>1499905
You wanna die again?
>>
>>1499897
Definitely cannon
Gimme gimme
>>
>>1499910
...NO
BUT HOW COULD SIMPLE PHRASE FROM REGULAR HUNTER CREATE MIDBOSS
I DO NOT POSSES SUCH POWER
>>
>>1499915
I think we need more HP
we already have a ranged attack with the cleaver, unless the cannon hat does more damage, OP
>>
>>1499915
Cannon is always useful if we lose our weapons.
Also it's awesome.
>>
>>1499915
Damn, these hats look cool.
>>
>>1499916
Vampire Magic, I aint gotta explain shit
Also, you're not a regular hunter.
You're a swordless fag.
hah
>>
>>1499919
The cannon hat is like Oswell's bombs, it's neutral. So nobody get bonuses when it's used.
>>
>>
>>1499930
Dude, he can't use swords anymore.
Bob had to revive him and now he has a sword allergy.
>>
>>
>>1499933
Oh, ok. Ya goof'd now, GAR.
Wonder if he can Respec as Vampire Puncher?
>>
>>
>>1499922
you got a 2 feather hat, nothing is cooler than that... maybe a 3 feathered hat, but thats only a myth.
>>
>>1499936
Tried respec. OP said naw.
Totally-not-Satan offered to remove the curse but Gar said nope.
>>
>>1499935
>>1499933
"I have a cure for that. But the fag refused it before so eh, fuck im"
>>
>>1499923
SO LET'S SUPPOSE THAT I STEP IN SUCH TRAP
HOW COULD I KNEW THAT I WAS THE ACTUAL TRIGGER OF MIDBOSS BEING CREATED
WHAT IF VAMPIRE MAGIC WOULD WORK ANYWAY?
MY MERE WORDS ARE NOT SOLID EVIDENCE ON THE MATTER
>>
>>1499943
have the hat look like normal though, OP
we want to keep the cannon retracted
ask the merchant for cleaver and upgrades too
>>
>>1499943
Wonderful.
Do we need ammo for this thing?
>>
>>1499943
well he is a fag, can you really blame him?
>>
>>1499942
>Totally-not-Satan offered to remove the curse but Gar said nope.
Bruh.
>>
>>1499948
"Sure, here's a bag. Come find me when it runs out. Got a spare cleaver or axe left, want one of em too?"
>>1499950
"I'd say....yeah, totally can"
>>1499945
I bring you to my previous point: Vampire Magic, I aint gotta explain shit
>>
>>1499951
HOW THE FUCK I SHOULD'VE KNOW IT'S NOT ACTUAL SATAN AT THAT POINT
FREE LOOT MEANS DEATH
THAT'S WHAT WE HAVE BEEN TAUGHT IN HUNTER ACADEMY BACK IN THE DAYS
>>
>>1499957
ask for the cleaver upgrade, that way when we do the pull back attack we'll do 3+3 damage
>>
>>1499959
How well have your Hunter Academy teachings served you? Be honest.
>>
>>
>>1499957
Yeah sure, lemme see them
>>
>>1499959
he had a sign
>>
>>1499961
"Done. Well. I'll be off then. Gotta restock"
>>1499963
>Box
yes. You remembered, good.
>Sword pieces
They exploded and burned up
>>
>>1499959
It literally said hes not satan
>>
>>1499972
thanks, merchant bro
>>
>>1499957
>I bring you to my previous point: Vampire Magic, I aint gotta explain shit
I REST MY CASE
>>1499962
IF NOT MIND SPLITTING ACCIDENT WHICH LEFT ME MIND CONTROLLED, I'D HAD A GOOD COMEBACK ANSWER RIGHT NOW
>>1499965
>>1499974
SO IF I WRITE THIS SIGN "HOT LONELY GIRLS HERE", PUT IT ON THIS CLOSET DOOR, AND OPEN IT - I'LL FIND HOT LONELY GIRS THERE WHEN I OPEN THIS CLOSET
>>
>>
>>1499979
>SO IF I WRITE THIS SIGN "HOT LONELY GIRLS HERE", PUT IT ON THIS CLOSET DOOR, AND OPEN IT - I'LL FIND HOT LONELY GIRS THERE WHEN I OPEN THIS CLOSET
Yeah maybe
>>
>>1499979
>SO IF I WRITE THIS SIGN "HOT LONELY GIRLS HERE", PUT IT ON THIS CLOSET DOOR, AND OPEN IT - I'LL FIND HOT LONELY GIRS THERE WHEN I OPEN THIS CLOSET
No, because you'd be lying. He's not. Are you high?
>>
>>1499972
>yes. You remembered, good.
Yeah, I was waiting for us to reach the merchant before opening it.
>They exploded and burned up
Noooo. Damn it, that sword abomination looked so cool. Would've been neat if we got all those pieces together to make another set of swords like it, or a mega-sword.
>>1499980
>Yeah, what is this mystery box ya'll got?
I picked it up after Gar died for the 2nd time last thread andmemed with OP.
>>
>>
>>1499991
Pretty sure Gar is king faggot now.
>>
>>1499972
Oh btw master Mark were you going to give me sum upgrades?
>>
>>1499993
CMON VAMPIRE MAGIC
>>
>>
>>1499994
>King faggot
I demand a drawing of GAR wearing the Crown of Homos.
>>
>>1499975
"Aight. Oh and before I was gonna five Gar the cure for his allergy in the form of a potion. But since he's a fag, here's the cure, in the form of a suppository"
>>1499996
"Oh yeah. Forgot about that. Being high does that to a person"
>>
>>
>>1500002
A crown that is literally made of dicks.
>>
>>1500002
Canon
>>
>>1500005
>the daily dose
DOC HE'S NOT READY
>>
>>1500012
FUCK YOU GUYS
>>
>>1500005
It's cool. I forgot to do the dishes one time my wife was working late. Oh man the scolding I got from her
>>
>>1500014
Fight me with your no sword having ass
>>
>>1500005
>"Aight. Oh and before I was gonna five Gar the cure for his allergy in the form of a potion. But since he's a fag, here's the cure, in the form of a suppository"
Thanks, Merchant.
>>1500005
>"Oh yeah. Forgot about that. Being high does that to a person"
Nice job on remembering, Bob.
>>1499999
Can we still get the Merchant to take a look at the Possessed Armor pieces? The one we got from the Living Armor battle?
>>
>>1500017
I WILL NOT STAND AS LOW AS YOU
>>
>>1500014
Wait. Hol up.
Everyone stop what they're doing and call Gar a fag with no sword.
>>
>>1500023
Fag with no sword.
Even worse than Oswell's no gf.
>>
>>1500024
THIS WILL NOT DEMOLISH MY SELF ESTEEM, YOU GOTTA TRY HARDER THAN THAT
>>
>>1500024
NO BLADE WIELDIN, COPIOUS BLEEDIN, LOW DEX, PANTY WAIST, COCK GOBBLING SISSY BOY
>>
>>1500032
IMPLYING ANYONE HAD A CHOICE
ALL WEAPONS OF PARTY GOT STOLEN
YOU (or who was it again) WASN'T ABLE TO RETURN MINE SWORD IN PARTICULAR
I TRIED TO GET IT BACK REPEATEDLY
I WASN'T EVEN A CAUSE OF IT'S DESTRUCTION
>>
Oh and forgot to mention, due to his supreme gayness. Gar somehow absorbed the gay from the other hunters to become king gay.
The hunters, except for Gar, are no longer fags.
>>
>>1500037
Gar, see if you can't channel your homoerotic aura and make a new weapon
>>
>>1500039
Noice can oswell find a gf now?
>>
>>1500039
The smell has attracted Fred on the scene
>>
>>
>>1500039
I can die even happier.
I picked the best time to join the thread.
>>
>>1500039
I AM NOT
>>
>>1500045
"Greetings hunters. I require the services of your homo"
>>
>>1500051
You can have him lol
>>
>>1500051
KILL FRED
>>
>>1500048
Just accept it, GAR. This is the lesson OP is trying to teach you.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1500054
"Well you see. I plan to use my barbed Vampbeast cock to penetrate his rectum. From which point I will begin a repeating thrusting motion until I ejaculate"
>>1500053
Roll 1d10
Fred has +8 Power
You have 0 Power due to no sword
And -5 Power for being a gay
>>
>>1500066
What a gay
>>
>>1500066
No.
I remember what happened to Dick.
I shall let no one suffer that fate again.
Stab this vile creature in it's disgusting throat.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>1500066I kinda getting tired of being the forced butt joke character of each player controlled quest honestly
>>
>>1500066
Gar may be a fag, but I'm not about to let him get violated. SWING AT FRED!
>>
>>1500077
Then stop acting like a faggot dumbass. Simple
>>
>>1500081
truth
>>
>>
>>1500073
>>1500078
Roll 1d10. Use his 5 against whatever you roll up
+6 For you
>>
>>1500081
You've got a point.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>1500087
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1500087
Death to the violator.
>>
>>1500087
We'll also join in the fight.
>>
>>1500087
Fred, channel your violation powers to new heights
>>
>>1500081
I better off stopping playing then, at least multiple player quests, cause I fail to see what actual wrong I did
Was it wrong to be suspicious of unknown things? What is wrong to be cautious of free stuff? "Dumb" stuff I did always had chance to succeed, cause it was all up to dice roll.
Only irritating thing I've done is maybe constant upper case, but I thought everyone was alright with it.
meh.
You seem to have enough players anyway. So you better off without me, then?
>>
>>1500096
>>1500090
MISSED!
BATTLE START AGAINST FRED THE GAYBEAST, VIOLATING VAMPIRE AND MOLESTER OF BOB
It's Horace's turn
>>
>>1500101
I was never bothered by the uppercase, for what it's worth. That's kind of your thing.
Besides, OP picks on everyone.
>>
>>
>>1500109
>Besides, OP picks on everyone.
Yeah this. Am OP, can confirm.
>>
>>1500104
Fred never molested Bob though
>>
>>
>>
>>1500122
>I'm sure the days of "Gar the faggot who constantly gets shit on" are behind us.
Just kill Gar one last time, let other people create character and have fun.
I clearly not made for these type of quests
>>
>>
>>1500116
That's what you think, faggot.
>>
>>1500125
>Anyways, we're here to back you up.
too late, I fell into depression
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1500110
Roll 1d10
+10 Speedo You
+8 Speed Fred
>>1500119
Did you forget the endless virgin and no gf joke at Oswell's expense? Or Bob's existence in general? Or the fact that since the first thread Oswell was the first homo?
>>1500116
That's what Fred wants Bob to think.
When he's awake at least.
>>
>>1500133
To be fair, Gar's died almost constantly, lost the only weapon he can use, and got super shit-talked for almost every decision he made recently.
I can understand if he feels kinda abused.
>>
>>1500133
>Or Bob's existence in general?
Not gonna lie, that made me look like an idiot because I laughed out loud.
>>
>>1500134
Maybe Bob should aid us in our fight against his nemesis?
>>
>>1500133
>Did you forget the endless virgin and no gf joke at Oswell's expense? Or Bob's existence in general? Or the fact that since the first thread Oswell was the first homo?
I didn't but they usually were one time thing
Bob stuff wasn't been mentioned since his first appearance, Oswell's dumb stuff hardly backfired him, Joseph and Horace hardly had anything period.
>>
>>1500145
>got possesed
>lost a boot
Sorry,but Iwould say that is pretty hardcore repercussion
>>
>>1500144
Maybe, but ya guys would try to stake me the second the fight was over
>>
>>1500145
>Oswell's dumb stuff hardly backfired him
T-That's what you think... *sniff*
Srsly tho, I understand my man. Just try to move on. I don't know what else to tell you.
>>
>>1500131
Well that was fast.
>>1500133
>>1500138
I figured OP's retaliation was mostly in regard to Gar's complaints on his work. Like when he wanted to refund that shitty sword that was apparently his purchased sword with a covered pain job.
I get the impression he retaliates further when you complain about jokes he makes at your expense.
>>1500145
>Joseph and Horace hardly had anything period.
Joseph got a sword in his ass once when he kept trying to fist people for mystery boxes, and got mauled by 15 ghouls when he tried to solo them. Horace hasn't been directed much by players who want to get him killed.
>>
>>1500133
At lmao, stomp these fools Fred
>>
>>1500151
>got possessed
and then what? GAR was possessed too, not my fault also, yet it almost died after that. Oswell? Literally no consequences, just kick sword from hands
>lost a boot
really now?
I got robbed of my boots.
WHILE I WAS DEAD.
>but everyone was a homo at some point
yeah, big deal. as if that was anything of importance.
>>
>>1500152
You have my word as a recently-made-heterosexual man.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d5)
>>1500137
Stabbed Fred in the neck. Fred has 5/8 HP left.
It's Fred's turn. He will try to stuff his barbed cock up:
1: Gar
2: Horace
3: Joseph
4: OSwell
5: Bob
>>1500134
Bob can suck on a fat one
>>1500138
That just because he happens to be the one making the dumb decisions recently. If it was anybody else I'd shit on them too. I shit on everyone. Including myself. The world is poop all the way down .
>>
>>
>>1500157
>Joseph got a sword in his ass once when he kept trying to fist people for mystery boxes, and got mauled by 15 ghouls when he tried to solo them.
first one was entirely your fault of wanting free loot. 2nd one I can appreciate the commitment.
>>
>>1500163
Yea fuck Fred im joining the fight
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1500163
Bob roll 1d10 to stop Fred
>>1500160
>yeah, big deal. as if that was anything of importance.
Then why complain about it?
>>
>>1500163
I tried to fight a monster by throwing a soggy boot at it. That's pretty dumb.
Not to mention I made a deal for a cursed sword.
>>
>>1500163
>Rolled 5
>Bob can suck on a fat one.
I'm laughing too hard at this shit.
>>
>>1500172
Hah what a fagbutt
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1500171
>>
>>1500171
because some demonic faggot had automatic chance to violate my character
what if other anons decided to let it happen for shit and giggles?
>>
>>1500172
Speak of which, I've been meaning to ask. Just how much exactly do you think this deal fucked us?
>>
>>1500178
Then they're fags for watching gay porn, duh
>>
>>1500172
Come on! The boot plan was a great idea!
It only failed because of he rolls : (
>>
>>1500160
>GAR was possessed too, not my fault also, yet it almost died after that. Oswell? Literally no consequences, just kick sword from hands
You wore a possessed set of armor from head to torso, we had to get rid of multiple pieces of it. Oswell only had a possessed sword to get rid of. You nearly killed us too, man.
>>1500168
>first one was entirely your fault of wanting free loot. 2nd one I can appreciate the commitment.
I wasn't the one playing Joseph, I was the one who sworded Joseph when he kept trying to fist people.
>>1500163
>It's Fred's turn. He will try to stuff his barbed cock up:
>1: Gar
>2: Horace
>3: Joseph
>4: OSwell
>5: Bob
Is Fred an indiscriminate rapist?
>>
>>1500179
>Just how much exactly do you think this deal fucked us?
Super hard. I'm planning on pawning this sword off on Gar as soon ASAP.
>>
>>1500178
>what if other anons decided to let it happen for shit and giggles?
Dude, we're not that much of dicks. Give us some credit, man.
>>
>>1500178
But we didn't let it happen. I honestly thought that would be taking it a step too far.
It's all fun and games until someone takes a giant vampbeast dick in their ass.
>>
>>1500177
Bob goes unmolested, for now.
Now if Bob decides to join in. It's his turn.
If not then it's Oswell's turn.
>>
>>1500180
eh, fair I guess
I still depressed.
>>1500183
Oswell happily rolled dice as he attacked our party
I did not.
same Oswell's volunterelly grabbed unknown swords
I wasn't here at time cursed armor thing happened, and that other voice was WARNED before doing stupid stuff and I'm still at fault here?
>I wasn't the one playing Joseph, I was the one who sworded Joseph when he kept trying to fist people.
too hard to keep track on that one
>>
Bob you fighting or naw?
>>
>>1500190
Yes, I use evil vampire eye on Fred
>>
>>1500190
Your show, Bob.
>>
>>1500192
>Oswell happily rolled dice as he attacked our party
>I did not.
I think it's because Oswell willingly did it that he was allowed to. Had he of declined I'd imagine either OP would've rolled or Bob would of.
>>1500192
>I wasn't here at time cursed armor thing happened, and that other voice was WARNED before doing stupid stuff and I'm still at fault here?
>>1500157
>Horace hasn't been directed much by players who want to get him killed.
Yeah, which is the problem I mentioned earlier.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>1500199
Roll 1d10
Since all Vampbeasts are the same, your rolls agains Fred will have no bonuses in play due to them all cancelling eachother out
>>
Right. I've got to head to work. I'll see you homos later.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1500209
>>
>>1500210
And I've got work in 15. So somebody is gonna have to take over Oswell pretty soon.
>>
>>1500186
>Dude, we're not that much of dicks. Give us some credit, man.
>>1500025
>>1500027
>>1500029
credit for what again?
>>1500188
not entirely convinced
>>1500202
point is that Oswell was happily rolling against his own party.
that wasn't much of a roleplay.
>Yeah, which is the problem I mentioned earlier.
well gee. no one, I hope, knowlingly want to kill their characters off. I do not consider my character's actions to be that dumb, tho maybe attacking wall at start was that dumb, but I paid for it
>>
>>1500211
>>1500211
Failed. It's Oswell's turn.
>>
>>1500216
>credit for what again?
For calling Gar a fag but not actually letting you have a dick up Gar's ass. I mean it's right there.
>>
>>1500219
Smite the sodomite.
>>
>>1500216
Just so you know, I'm referring to your actions in the context of Gar the character's actions, not you as the player. You both share the same name which is why it can cause some confusion.
>>1500192
>same Oswell's volunterelly grabbed unknown swords
The other Gar player did the same after being warned of it, whereas Oswell wasn't when he grabbed it. I get the impression the punishment was less severe because of that.
>>1500216
>credit for what again?
>>1500221
That was jesting on your character, not leaving you to the dogs.
>>
>>1500221
I trust them
for now
can I tear off fred's and bob's heads yet
>>
>>1500215
Do not fear,regular hunter prick is here
>>
>>1500231
We're saved.
I'll stick around to help the roll, but then I gotta run.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1500224
roll 1d10
+6 no gf Oswell
+8 Speed Fred
>>1500227
No you impatient fuck, wait your turn.
Plus Bob's on your side for now.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>1500236
Hoping for 10
>>
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1500236
Fuck Jews, fuck spics
Fuck gays and hicks.
I'm out.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1500236
Rolling
>>
>>1500240
Missed it by one.
Now it's Joseph's turn.
If he's even active that is
>>
Okay work now. Your time to shine prick.
>>
>>1500243
>problem that most of the time only I control GAR, rest are too rare and to minor to influence in a big way.
>rest are too rare and to minor to influence in a big way.
You underestimate the level of dickery a player can do when they briefly control a character.
>>1500216
>well gee. no one, I hope, knowlingly want to kill their characters off. I do not consider my character's actions to be that dumb, tho maybe attacking wall at start was that dumb, but I paid for it
No need to be a condescending about it. I was referring to some other players who took control of Gar the character for a bit which is what contributed to his infamy. Yours just happened to be lumped in because you did some stuff like what you mentioned.
>>
>>1500257
fine
maybe i've been overreacting. just being butt joke of the year is not the funniest thing out there you know.
>>
>>1500271
>keeps forgetting Bob is still suffering from at least 2 ass diseases given to him by Oswell
>>
>>1500273
which were hardly ever mentioned
to point of anyone, even Bob forgot about them
>>
>>1500271
>maybe i've been overreacting.
I don't think you've been overreacting, but I do think you were being a dick when we tried talking to you about it.
>>1500077
>>1500271
>just being butt joke of the year is not the funniest thing out there you know.
Can you clarify on the butt joke part? I wasn't reading the other quests before Real Robutt Adventures.
>>
>>1500275
And I don't mention Gar's homosexuality until the situation calls for it, so ot's fair.
Anyway. Yusuf's inactive, you're up.
>>
>>
>>1500276Character RED RANGER was violated when it was separated from group in last/first character coop multiple player adventure
he lost his beautiful smile for awhile
>>1500278
>And I don't mention Gar's homosexuality until the situation calls for it, so ot's fair
seemed like all the time but fine, maybe I'm imagining things
>>
>>1500284
Imagine up an action faggot
>>
>>1500278
Oh, yeah, action
FORCED COMBO ATTACK
USE BOB'S HEADS ON FRED'S HEAD
WITH MY BARE HANDS
>>
>>1500287
*HEAD
>>
>>1500287
If Bob would like to object to this.
Reply to this post in the span of 5 minutes or less.
>>
>>1500294
OBJECTION!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1500296
OVERRULED
>>
>>1500287
Kek,its like you are trying to get killed now
>>
>>1500296
Very well. Roll 1d10 against Gar
+8 Bob
+7 Gar
>>1500299
See, this is why I gotta call you a dumbass
Prerolls hardly ever work
>>
>>1500299
dice god still a dick I see
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1500303
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1500303
yeah, sorry.
today we kinda got too many of them so I thought to try
even tho I was against that before.
but sometimes it worked.
welp, reap what I sow
let's see what actual roll would've been
>>
>>1500308
Bob pushes Gar off. The seeds of dissent are sown.
Anyway, it's Horace's turn.
>>
>>1500312
nah, dice god still a dick
>>
>>1500306
He always is.
>>1500284>Character RED RANGER was violated when it was separated from group in last/first character coop multiple player adventure
Wasn't aware of that.
>>1500284
>seemed like all the time but fine, maybe I'm imagining things
Oswell gets it mentioned more often, but it's shifted to his no gf lately because that's what he's been obsessing over. I'd imagine the OP would do the same to you if you tried it.
>>
>>1500314
Combo attack with everyone to defeat Fred's luck?
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>>1500318
My sword waifu is literally a) dead - shattered in pieces b) possessed c) killed me
seems like having no gf is quite easy way of livingI mean it's our constant state on this board anyway
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>>1500319
Depends on everyone else
>>
>>
>>1500319
I support this.Also you dropped your tag
>>
>>1500322
I can throw Joseph as an blunt weapon if that helps
>>
>>
>>1500325
See, constantly trying to harm team mates is why you're gonna be called a fag
Bitch you didn't learn shit
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>>1500322
I join u guys
>>
>>
>>
>>1500333
I can't belive you're asking me this.
After all this time, you actually forgot. For shame.
>>
>>1500335
Is gar still alergic to swords? Can i give one of my swords to him since now i am dual wielding?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
Anyway, everyone roll 1d10, highest gets picked
Fred gets +8
Combined, the team gets +31
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1500335
I had cleave and I had jump cut, which I never even tried
deus vult is more of a shout type thing as far I gather and not really a skill
rest of abilities never really were described or listed as far I'm aware.
I don't think punching actually worked last time.
you didn't let me rip and tear with my bare hands either
>>1500339
rolling
>>
>>1500338
>Is gar still alergic to swords
Oh yeah that.
Yes.
>>
>>
>>1500343Throw a rock, dumbo
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1500339
Rolling
>>
>>
>>1500348
I have two swords now.iwill give you one,just use the damm supository
>>
We have officially entered THE LOW ROLL ZONE
>>
>>1500349where I do find decent sized rocks in a castle? Do you think I was trying to throw teammates just for fun?
>>
>>1500360
Bricks are just square rocks.
>>
>>
>>1500364
well yeah, but you never drew a brick wall so I can't guess if the size is acceptable to my ancestors' pride
>>
Anyway. Fred died due to being overkilled.
Now Bob's left...
>>
>>
>>1500370
Stare menacingly at Bob
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>>1500370
find suitable brick to throw at Bob.
>>
>>1500374
>any
if I throw a peeble I'll be laughed at in afterlife
>>
>>
>>1500383
Ok I underp Josef and he give Bob a creepy stare.
>>
>>1500383
"Hey could you give Gar his waifu sword back please?"
>>
>>1500387
you die same amount as me and you'll start thinking about getting decent afterlife as well
>>
>>1500390
>>1500393
The derpbeast stays silent
>>
>>
>>1500400
let's just him or something
throw a nearby nicely sized brick at bob
but it must be really nicely sized brick. at least 1 meter on side
>>
>>1500400
Ty for help with Fred guys and slink back to master
>>
>>1500400
Get closer to Bob and become even more creepy.
Don't let Bob take Fred with him.
>>
>>
>>1500414
>>1500415
Roll 1d10 against eachother
Gar has 7 Power
Bob has 8 Speed/Power
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1500419
square power
>>
>>1500423
well at least it's not 1
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1500419
I cant give sword back u have to ask master mark to do that sorry guise
>>
>>1500430
should've gone with 2 meter on side
I wonder if deconstructing castle is viable winning option
>>
>>1500436
can I throw bigger brick now?
>>
>>
>>1500436
Fine where to now? Inspect surroundings
>>
>>1500436
Use our cleaver chain to pull down Bob while screaming "Get over here!!!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3C3poU_0sK4
>>
>>
>>1500443
>The castle literally absorbs any blood spilled, I don't think that's viable.
well if there is no castle, then there no absorbing process
>>
>>1500370
Fred no
Goodnight sweet prince, you're violating angels now
>>
>>
>>
>>1500454
>Right, but I'm pretty sure the other vampires will notice us attempting a deconstruction or demolitions project in the meantime.
they seem to give minimal amount of fuck honestly
>>
>>1500457
Whoops forgot pic
>>1500458
Because this is suppose to be a game with progression. You want the vampires to actually give a fuck and bumrush you right now?
>>
>>1500457
can collapsing castle kill final boss?
>>
>>1500457
Check doorway as well as these dubs
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1500457
Get creepy and scary as fuck.
>>
>>
>>1500465
No. Killing the final boss collapses the castle.
>>
>>
>>
>>1500477
>didn't stop shit happening in other quest in tower
Oh so you want the difficulty turned up then? To be like that other one?
>>
>>1500481
nah, there were too much relying on NPC back then
which didn't even backfired
>>
>>1500485
Why would it backfire?
>>
>>1500489
I have a stereotype that any easy power up / loot / plot device to save/make easier game for players - is actually a ruse which will lead them to being horribly killed.
>>
>>1500467
>>1500469
>>1500480
Bob gets moved away by Horace then.
>>1500494
And where did you get that idea?
>>
>>
>>1500494
Ain't that half the fun, tho
>>
>>
>>
>>1500500
I would heavily recommend to stand away from all those armors and weapons and check the book about exorcism
>>
>>1500500
Throw a stone at the creepy armor from a safe distance
>>
>>1500506
Nothing's fair when you can friendship fusion
Poor Fred
>>
>>
>>1500500
Aaaaw... No creepy time with Bob... start sharping our axe for now...
>>
>>1500518
The stone throw activates the living armor.
It's also wielding Gar's broken sword.
The sword is also being used to trap Oswell's spirit waifu.
>>
>>1500549
well. I appreciate that Oswell didn't go and grab anything this time, even tho he is still at fault
read book about exorcism FASTER
>>
>>1500549
Distract the armor to buy time as agile hunter reads the book
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1500554
>>1500557
Roll 1d10
You ahve +6
Armor has +10
>>
>>1500559
do the monkey
>>
>>1500559
Josef flip the finger at the Armor to distract it.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>1500559
Rolling
>>
>>
>>1500575
stop doing the monkey
>>
Allright someone take over i nees to go : (
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>1500571
Distraction succesful, it takes a swing at you and misses.
>>1500563
Roll 1d10
>>1500575
"exactly 1 HP" - book
>>
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>1500584
Give the Armor the best Fuck You finger in the world.
>>
>>1500591
4 AM is right
>>
>>
considering it's another long boss battle maybe we save game here? I almost out already
>>
>>1500585
Welp,I am not on the same continent as you two : )
>>
>>1500602
OP can go on usually. I just can't and battle seem to be important enough to need all 4 players
>>
>>1500592
The finger was perhaps *too* good. It takes a swing at you.
Joseph now has 4/7 HP
>>1500599
"After exorcism:
- To banish the spirit, keep chanting until it disperses
- To seal spirit into something else, chant the holy chant on page 35 while holding the aforementioned something directly at the dirtection of the spirit. Or you could be a elder vampire fuck that can grab spirits with his bare hands" - book
>>
>>1500612
Is there rock big enough to bent the armor?
>>
>>1500612
Is there a part where we can get the spirit to willingly leave, such like Oswell's ghost waifu?
>>1500603
>>1500606
If the others need to take a break, I'm fine with leaving this for another thread. I can keep going like >>1500602, but getting the whole party sounds important for this.
>>1500619
With your Power, it might.
>>
>>
>>1500619
Yeah but you can't life it with your current Power
>>1500623
"If spirit is benign and/or benevolent. Try talking to it. Doesn't work if it's an hostile one or being trapped against its will" -book
Oh yeah, forgot to look. it's wayyyh past bump limit and it's an important bossfight. So let's save this for another thread eh?
That because you are weak, weak with weak bodies
>>
>>1500629
>I think I can make another 1-3 post before I need to hit the bed...
That's domestic abuse. What has the bed done to you?
>>
>>1500632
that's a big rock
>Oh yeah, forgot to look. it's wayyyh past bump limit and it's an important bossfight. So let's save this for another thread eh?
yeah, that
thanks for bread OP, sorry about sidetracking into blabbling in a middle
>>
>>1500632
>Oh yeah, forgot to look. it's wayyyh past bump limit and it's an important bossfight. So let's save this for another thread eh?
Yeah, that works.
>>1499331
>>1499701
Will you link this thread to the next one for people like Auditer who either can't use Twitter reliably, or myself who follow thread notifications?
>>
>>1500639
That because you are weak
Weak
WEEEAAAAKKKKKK
>>
>>1500645
you misspelled WUSS
>>
>>1500644
Alright then. When I make the next one I post it here first.
>>
As always, updates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>1500646
No I didn't. If I used wuss I would have said you are A wuss.
Grammar.
Wuss.
>>
>>1500652
being called weak is kindaweakinsult
I'm not used for such change
>>
>>
>>1500658
Because I was afraid if I used stronger language you'd cry like a bitch and get depressed again.
>>
>>1500667
nah
4.20 am
too late/early to care
>>
>>
>>1500670
lol sure fag
>>
>>1500675
at least I'm not dead by end of this thread.
that's an improvement
>>
>>1500680
That can be fixed
>>
>>1500693
A toy store
>>
>>1500697
Oh, phew. You had me worried there for a moment, OP.
>>
>>1500704
Yeah. Guns are hard to come by in this country.
Now machetes, on the other hand.
>>
>>1500710
Useful for exploring the dangerous vietnamese jungle.
And for making dog sandwiches.
>>
>>1500725
For real though, all dogs get hostile at my presence.
They know how much of their kind I've eaten.
>>
>>1500738
Maybe your breath smells of dog
>>
>>1500754
That's probably true
>>
>>1500738
Thanks for moving me niggas
>>
>>1500942
No problem, Bob. Did you go away or something earlier?
>>
>>1500984
Yeah to succ dick most likely
>>
>>1501466
Y u so mean to ur old pal Bob?
>>
>>1501653
Because life and unlife blows ass
>>
>>1501733
Life maybe but eternal unlife with Bob and Mark is dope
>>
>>1501772
>Life maybe but eternal unlife with Bob and Mark is dope
How are you sure Mark isn't just wearing that mask to hide his eternal suffering?
>>
>>1501794
Master Mark can talk to good ol Bob if he needs to get something off his chest
>>
>>1501811
Like a stake
>>
Hiya, again did anything happen???
>>
>>1504324
I DIED
>>
>>1506042
All is well
>>
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