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Anonymous
Post Appocalyptic Adventure Thing, part 4 2016-05-18 08:16:07 Post No. 147625
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Post Appocalyptic Adventure Thing, part 4 2016-05-18 08:16:07 Post No. 147625
[Report] Image search: [Google]
Oh shit nigger, you're a Necrobot Infiltrator in some generic post apocalyptic wasteland. Your mission is to use your wastelander disguise to, well, infiltrate settlements and what not to spread to glorious word of Cyber Necromancy and convert all you can to the Necrobots.
Currently you're heading to another settlement to convert them to the Necrobot way, what do you do?Roll 1d10, highest roll in a minute since the first reply gets picked.
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>147625
punch self in face
>>
>>147627
And so you did
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>147630
alright, make your way to the next settlement
hopefully they'll be more receptive to becoming metal
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>147635
Whatever happened to our adoring fan?
>>
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>147638
the loud nigga
he pestered us constantly and was generally an annoying piece of shit
>>
>>147640
Oh that guy. Since you turned off his voice he's been running around panicking.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>147641
Keep it that way
For now, he'll just be our headless chicken distraction
>>
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>147650
fast forward to next settlement
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>147656
wait, reverse until you hit pre apocalypse
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>147662
Alright, hit play
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>147662
Stop
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>147672
CONVERT THAT ANON INTO A NECROBOT
>>
>>147676
ERROR
YOu cant interact with the videos inside your databanks
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>147678
Use our dimension breaker remotethis actually calls in the TIME POLICE
>>
>>147680
But you dont have one
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>147685
no time machine yet
rip
Let's get to converting in the post apocalyptia then
>>
>>147686
yeah ok
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>147689
suddenly hit your head on the gate of a massive stadium
>>
>>147689
Find a old fast food building which still has a deep freeze room and its still operating.
>>
>>147692
klonk
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>147694
Get dogpiled by a group of football players
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>147694
Punch door with foot
>>
>>147702
klank
>>
>>147706
Captcha ate my pic
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>147707
Use your necro companion as a battering ram.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>147707
Open the door like a normal guy
>>
>>147709
If you hadn't turned off his voice module he'd probably be screaming right now
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>147718
Set his voice module to dog barks mode.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>147718
You make a huge dent, but it's not enough to get past
>>
>>147722
[Distressed barking]
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>147732
The door opens up from the excessive noise your dog is making
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>147732
You turned on his radio, however. "Hello my baby! Hello my darling!"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>147732
The barking attracts mutant feral dogs.
>>
>>147736
It also caused him to dance uncontrollably
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>147743
Someone drops oil on you from above
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>147743
Suddenly giant mutant earthworms burst out of the ground.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>147743
We lrave him to solve his own problems. Infiltrate and climb wall.
>>
>>147747
Ah yes, the deadly phallic symbols of the wasteland
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>147752
Just use your laser gun
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>147752
They kiss each other spewing acid everywhere.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>147752
Justice Duck and Justice Dick arrive to save the wastelander. Dumb animals cant figure out necrobots
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>147759
Blast all the animals
It's not like you can convert them into necrobots, can you? if you can, get the converter out and MECHANIZE them
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>147759
One worm catches and swallows Justice Duck whole.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>147759
Justice Duck ignites worm mucus, making giant fore worms. Fuck.
>>
>>147762
You whip out your AK-Fortysomething and started blasting
Roll 2d100, first umber decides who gets picked, second decides the result
0-30: Great failure
41-70: Failure
71-90: Success
91-100: Great Success
>>
Rolled 94, 82 = 176 (2d100)
>>147776
POP POP WATCHING NIGGAS DROP
>>
Rolled 24, 33 = 57 (2d100)
>>147776
>>
Rolled 31, 84 = 115 (2d100)
>>147776
>>
Rolled 86, 33 = 119 (2d100)
>>147776
>>
>>147779
Success, you managed to...hit the worms. Dealing some damage
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>147785
Now that the worms are weakened, convert them
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>147785
Get inside the thing and start slicing up some organs.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>147785
Kill one, take one
>>
>>147789
And so you continue your assault, aiming to finish one off.
Roll 2d100 again for results.
0-30: Great failure
41-95: Failure
96-100: Success
>>
Rolled 97, 40 = 137 (2d100)
>>147792
>>
Rolled 12, 89 = 101 (2d100)
>>147792
CLICK CLACK THE GUNS COMING OUT
>>
Rolled 11, 2 = 13 (2d100)
>>147792
>>
Rolled 20, 22 = 42 (2d100)
>>147792
>>
>>147794
You failed to kill the worm. And nwo one of them has noticed you and burrowed underground. It's heading straight at you!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>147803
UNSHEATHE YOUR ARM SWORD, SLASH THE WORM IN HALF
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>147803
Leap for higher ground where it cant sense you
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>147803
Brace for impact.
>>
>>147806
Sure, a tiny arm sword against a giant worm.
Roll 2d100 for results
0-30: Great failure
41-80: Failure
81-99: Success
100: Great Success
>>
Rolled 54, 39 = 93 (2d100)
>>147815
RULES OF NATURE
>>
Rolled 15, 70 = 85 (2d100)
>>147815
>>
Rolled 5, 71 = 76 (2d100)
>>147815
>>
Rolled 70, 91 = 161 (2d100)
>>147815
>>
>>147816
You gave it...a tiny scratch. While it knocked you flying into the air.
>>
>>147822
WE HAVE A WINNER
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>147825
Use the momentum to BLAST HIM in midair!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>147825
Justice Duck burns the other worm while Dick snacks on it
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>147825
Fine. Do a diving slash.
>>
>>147834
A mutant duck and a mutant bear maanged to kill a giant worm. While you got knocked on your ass.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>147842
Suddenly meteors fall from where you are.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>147842
Use your invisibility for a sneak attack on the worm's head
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>147842
Sit back and watch the worms being rekt
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>147842
disassemble my ass
>>
>>147848
Roll 2d100 to see if you succeed in sitting back or not
0-50: Failure
51-100: Success
>>
Rolled 42, 86 = 128 (2d100)
>>147853
>>
Rolled 58, 33 = 91 (2d100)
>>147853
WE SIT SO AWESOMELY WE START LEVITATING
>>
Rolled 34, 30 = 64 (2d100)
>>147853
>>
Rolled 10, 69 = 79 (2d100)
>>147853
>>
>>147856
Sadly that didn't happen, the worm noticed you and slamed its tail upon you
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>147861
Ho rude.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>147861
The worm then farted at you.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>147861
BECOME ANGRY
>>
Rolled 36, 10 = 46 (2d100)
>>147861
SUDDENLY A WOMAN SAVES YOU
>>
>>147865
[muffled complaint about the worm's unsavoury behaviour]
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>147873
suddenly, adoring fan throws himself into the worm's mouth
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>147873
Slash yourself out
>>
Rolled 41, 86 = 127 (2d100)
the worm chokes to death on a copy of Frank Herbert's Dune and a DVD of the David Lynch film adaptation
>>
>>147877
Roll 2d100 for results.
0-30: Great failure
41-70: Failure
71-99: Success
100: Great Success
>>
Rolled 81, 25 = 106 (2d100)
>>147882
>>
Rolled 96, 1 = 97 (2d100)
>>147882
But what about 31-40?
>>
Rolled 48, 60 = 108 (2d100)
>>147882
>>
Rolled 34, 53 = 87 (2d100)
>>147882
>>
>>147887
Also failure. But that doesn't matter now. As now, in your incredible incompetence, you broke your blade.
>>
>>147893
And also failed to send the image through to. Your terrible roll caused this.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>147898
Pull it out.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>147898
End yourself, all these shitty rolls will be the end of you anyways
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>147898
Start biting the worm.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>147898
Use your laser
the worms are obviously weak to burning
>>
>>147903
With what? You're still stuck under the worm with most of your equipment under it.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
You see necrovillager dance out of the worms mouth.
Cuz this is thriiiiiiller!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>147910
GET MAD
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>147910
Shovel your way out of there. Dig through the dirt.
>>
>>147910
Do nothing and take it easy
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>147910
eat your way through the dirt, your advanced necro-digestion system and hypersteel teeth can do it and you can even turn your tongue's sense of taste off
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>147935
Start an autistic fit inside the worm, making it queasy and then throwing you up
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>147935
MADDER
YOU BETTER START BOILING INSIDE YOUR MECHANICAL BODY
>>
>>147938
You're not inside the worm, dumbass. You're under it.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>147945
GET MADDER THEN
YOUR RAGE MAKES YOUR STEEL RED HOT
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>147945
Get so mad your gpu lights on fire
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>147939
you are literally steam powered
>>
>>147947
GPU temperature rising. THis is what you get for using Nvidia
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>147955
pee fire
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>147955
Start melting the skin of the worm
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>147955
The belly of the worm gets cooked.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>147955
Shit's on fire, yo
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>147955
Melt the worm's skin with your piping hot steel
>>
>>147959
Roll 2d100 to see if your fire is enough or not
0-20: No
21-100: Yes
>>
Rolled 23, 85 = 108 (2d100)
>>147975
>>
Rolled 1, 72 = 73 (2d100)
>>147975
I'M BURNING UP INSIDEEEEEEEEE
>>
Rolled 97, 26 = 123 (2d100)
>>147975
allah akbar
>>
Rolled 98, 25 = 123 (2d100)
>>147975
>>
>>147979
[anguished worm scream]
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>147984
find out that someone is living inside the worm
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>147984
Now overcharge your laser gun and blast it
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>147984
worm steaks for dinner tonight
>>
>>147989
IT'S A GIRL
>>
>>147989
>>148001
It's not
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148005
Befriend hobo
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148005
It's your father.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148005
IS THAT YOU, GRANDPA?
SAVE HIM
>>
>>148005
Convert him
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148009
forgot roll
>>
>>148007
No...it can't be...
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148014
Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148014
"Son... is that you?"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148014
Get him out of there!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148014
convert him
>>
>>
>>148016
"And why are you a stinkin robot now? Didn't I tell you that stuff's for wusses?!"
>>148021
Dad magic
>>
>>148021
We probably stole his son's mask from that settlement we converted.His actual son is the necrobot who won't be quiet.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148023
"I never asked for this."
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148023
Convert him whether he wants to or not
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148023
SHUT UP DAD
IT'S NOT A PHASE
>>
>>148030
You tried converting him. It didn't work.
"Don't be a faggot, son. We all know robos are homos. But evidently, it's too late for your bitch ass now."
Sadly your Forceful Conversion Module hasn't been recharged yet so you can't use that either.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148041
DAD
WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS
THIS IS ME
CAN'T YOU LOVE ME AS ME
THIS IS WHY MOM LEFT YOU
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148041
Dad shows you how to be a real man and whoops your ass
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148041
Father has joined your party to straighten you up from the robo homo beliefs
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148041
If your so great, why are you stuck here?
>>
>>148049
He then immediately spanks you
"This is for your own good, son. You must be purged of this robo homo beliefs"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148064
BUT DAD
THE NECROBOT CHURCH HAD ALL THE HOT FEMBOTS WHEN I JOINED
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148064
It actually works
Father knows best
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148064
Your necrobot companion comes over to see what's going on and dad thinks he's your homo robo lover
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148064
BUT DAD I'M NOT A HOMO
I GOT LIKE 3 DATES FROM FEMBOTS THERE
WE KISSED AND STUFF
>>
not many people in the thread today, though
>>
>>148069
"WHAT'S THIS?! YOUR GAY ROBO LOVER?! CLEARLY YOU ARE MORE CORRUPTED THEN I REALIZED! YOUR CLEANSING MUST BE INTENSIFIED"
[confused barking]
>>
>>148076
He whoop's Barkbot's ass too
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148076
Dad spanks necrovillager too
>>
>>148075
indeed, the first 40 minutes or so there was only about 1 guy replying
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148076
Dad intesifes your cleansing.
>>
>>148079
And he did. With you.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148088
IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU DIDN'T GET ANY DAD
BY THAT I MEAN TITS AND ASS, FEMBOT TITS AND ASS
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148088
You have been cured of your robo homo ways
>>
>>148088
Ask your dad how's like being a post apocalyptic Geppetto.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148088
Your dad forceful turning you into cyborg/half-machine.
>>
>>148090
"That's pretty heretical, son" and then he starts hitting harding
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148101
Start to cry.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148101
Your robot pieces get smashed to bits, leaving you crippled
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148101
He accidentally kills us
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148101
Your head flies off due to the shear impact of the beating.
>>
>>148107
fucking hell
>>
>>148107
my sides
>>
>>148107
oh shit lmao
>>
>>148107
Which caused you to explode, because ya know. Robots.
Roll 2d100 to see what happens next
0-10: You're completely destroyed
11-70: Your data is transfered back to HQ
71-99: Only your head survived
100: The explosion somehow destroyed your robot shell, killing your robot form but revived your human form
>>
Rolled 39, 35 = 74 (2d100)
>>148118
inb4 nat100
>>
Rolled 22, 84 = 106 (2d100)
>>148118
>>
Rolled 29, 11 = 40 (2d100)
>>148118
>>
Rolled 98, 82 = 180 (2d100)
>>148118
ayy lmao
>>
Rolled 33, 11 = 44 (2d100)
>>148118
>>
Rolled 20, 28 = 48 (2d100)
>>148118
I think you should roll these results yourself, there's no pint in making anons respond just to roll and get no action.
>>
Rolled 85, 25 = 110 (2d100)
>>148118
>>
>>148126
It's because when I rolled myself before anons still replied...with 2d100s. So I just let them fuck things up for themselves so I don't hold any responsibillity
>>
>>148124
Miraculously, you somehow survived your death. With only your head still intact.
"Whoops. Guess I cleansed you too hard" said Dad
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148131
He attaches you to the nearest object.
Good as new
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148131
Father builds you a new body
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148131
dad attaches you on his toaster
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148131
The dog picks us up and darts back to HQ
>>
>>148135
And since he thinks robots are gay and heretical, he just stuck your head into a soup can
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
Dad dons his Paladin armor
>>148138
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148138
dispense soup since that's all we're good for now
>>
>>148138
[soup rattling]
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148138
"fuck you Dad"
>>
>>148139
"Ah, that's where I left it"
Well that explains his hatred of Necrobotic-ness
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148151
He takes you back to the Paladin base to convert you back into a human
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>148151
but dad
remember what mom used to say about that shit
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148151
What are we going to do now, DAD?!
>>
>>148154
[nagging]
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148163
Dad becomes the new main character
>>
>>148163
she died of malware cancer soon after
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148163
Why would you marry a necrobot, if you hate necrobots
>>
>>148169
YOu then remember that Dad joined the paladins after he got married. It's proabbly because of his midlife crisis.
Mom's death also probably had something to do with it.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148172
Maybe he's just really into hatesex
>>
>>148172
remember what your mom used to say to you
>>
>>148175
You are now (temporarily) the Paladin Dad. The Paladad.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148187
Start extracting necrobot info out of son
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148187
attack son's head on a toaster
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148187
screw temporarily make it permanently
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148187
Interrogate your son for secret necrobot information.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148187
You proceed to cook a hearty worm steak
>>
>>148191
*attach
>>
>>148193
"But daaaaaaad, I'm the main character" Said your disappointment of a son
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>148200
Slap your son and start interrogating him for info
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148200
slap son on a mutated plant
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148200
"Not anymore your not"
then proceed to punch him in the face
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148200
Take son back to paladin base to turn him back to human
>>
>>148202
And so you did
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148210
Look at me, I'm the main character now.
>>
>>148212
"n-nnnuoooh"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148216
put son inside inventory
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148216
punch self in face to assert your dominance as the new main character
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148216
Take son back to base get him converted back to a human
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148216
Justice Duck burns into view
>>
>>148222
fwoosh
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148227
equip son on your crotch
>>
>>148228
And so you put your son into your inventory and head back to base. Which this giant stadium is in the way. Intel says that it's ran by raiders who kidnap people to fight for their amusement, buncha heretics.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148236
Smash it open with your Paladin powers
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148236
Necrovillager shambles behind you, his radio wont turn off
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148236
Climb up the wall through the steel beams.
>>
>>148238
Ah yes, your son's gay lover. The heretic somehow survived and now can't stop playing music through its speakers.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148243
PURGE HIM
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148243
Convert gay lover into car dealer.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148243
Dont bring me up! Bring me up baby just to tear me down!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>148243
Add him to your party
>>
>>148246
YOu don't know how to do that. The only type of conversion you know relating to necrobots is how to convert one into a pile of scrap metal.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148253
do exactly that then
scrap your son's homo lover
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148253
Bring him along so you can listen to some snazzy tunes
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148253
Then do that, dumbass
>>
>>148253
You don't need technical knowledge, just give him a fancy wig, nice suit and broken down cars.
>>
>>148259
We'll need to find those first though.
>>
>>148266
And captcha also ate the image
>>
>>148273
Climb stadium wall and start PURGING raiders
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148273
Go in the stadium
>>
>>148280
You climbed the wall and make your intentions known to the raiders.
Roll 2d100 to see how your purge goes
0-20: failure
21-90: success
91-100: great success
>>
Rolled 52, 51 = 103 (2d100)
>>148287
PURGEEEEEEEE
>>
Rolled 63, 6 = 69 (2d100)
>>148287
>>
Rolled 10, 46 = 56 (2d100)
>>148287
>>
Rolled 49, 32 = 81 (2d100)
>>148287
>>
>>148292
YOU FUCKED UP
>>
Rolled 71, 34 = 105 (2d100)
>>148287
>>
>>148296
Like father like son!
>>
>>148292
Unfortunately your first attack didn't manage to kill any of the raiders. And now you're in the middle of them.
Roll 2d100 to see how your next attack goes
0-20: failure
21-90: success
91-100: great success
>>
Rolled 22, 29 = 51 (2d100)
>>148308
>>
Rolled 91, 96 = 187 (2d100)
>>148308
>>
Rolled 49, 22 = 71 (2d100)
>>148308
>>
Rolled 66, 65 = 131 (2d100)
>>148308
>>
>>148312
AW SHIT NIGGA
>>
Rolled 55, 32 = 87 (2d100)
>>148308
>>
>>148312
Da fug
>>
>>148312
But turns out this is all part of your plan as being right in the middle of the raiders gave you the chance to purge them all quickly without having to hunt them down.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148330
Loot everything
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148330
Weew just purged the entire stadium, time for a snack
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148330
Loot their corpses for anything worth keeping.
>>
>>148336
You checked your inventory for snacks and your choices are:
- A half eaten candy bar
- Giant worm steak
- A pea
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148343
eat it all
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148343
STEAK
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148343
Eat pea
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
You have been in the worm so long you hadnt realized your Paladin license expired, making your actions heretical and other oaladins and peacekeepers begin hunting you
>>148343
>>
>>148352
There's no such thing as a paladin license.
Plus they're all raiders anyway.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148362
Holy Bones is a goddamn liar then!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148362
Beef up your protective armor with their gear.
>>
>>148364
[PAUSED]
The time police then appears
"That's a different timeline"
Then the time police left
[UNPAUSED]
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148370
Feed your son the worm steak to make him strong and manly
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148370
Add additional pieces of armor to yourself using the raider's armor pieces.
>>
Rolled 28, 41 = 69 (2d100)
>>148370
Loot time. Loot the bodies
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>148370
Scream "absolutely heretical" at your son
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148384
Loot everything
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148384
Eat it you shitty son!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148384
Consume chocolate
>>
>>148389
And so you did. But then suddenly the entrance in other side of the stadium explodes. Who could it be? Could this be a boss fight?
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148396
indeed it is
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148396
It's Justice Duck
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148396
It's professor rattles mebones esq
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148396
It's your wife.
>>
>>148406
this
>>
>>148397
Ah, it's a raider boss. With a metal arm for some reason.
>>
>>148412
Necroson gives you boss tips and tricks
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148412
question his sexuality
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148412
Seems like he is here to rescue your son
>>
>>148414
You called him a homo
"EY!"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>148422
a ROBO-HOMO
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148422
ask if he's your son new gay lover
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148422
+10 emotional crit
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148422
Don't "EY" me you mechanical queer
>>
>>148429
"Wow dad, that's really insensitive towards the mechanical community. You're being problematic right now"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>148436
backhand him for being a SJW
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
SoupCan son corrects you further. "Dad! That's Nigger. I destroyed his arm. Arnt you proud?!?"
>>148436
>>
>>148440
"Check your privilege, dad!"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148436
Then a steel beam falls on Raider Boss.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148448
Stupid roboqueers
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>148448
bask in your white paladin privilege and tell him to stow it
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148448
use your paladin powers or something
>>
>>148457
"Why are you such a shitlord, ughh"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148470
Because you was born.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148470
the boss sneak attacks
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148470
Sword-axe clash with Raider Boss
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148470
"How did you like that candy bar? huehuehue" Asked the barbarian
>>
>>148473
OH SHIT, A SUDDEN ATTACK!
Roll 2d100 to counter
0-10: Failure
11-99: Success
100: Critical counter
>>
Rolled 79, 34 = 113 (2d100)
>>148483
kys
>>
Rolled 99, 92 = 191 (2d100)
>>148483
block it with your face
>>
Rolled 43, 98 = 141 (2d100)
>>148483
Block with your sons head
>>
>>148487
AW SHIT NIGGA
>>
>>148487
KLANK. Block successful, you took no damage
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148499
Smash his gay robo skull with your hands.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148499
don't even need your sword for this one
punch the fuck out of him
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148499
Purge.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148499
It's starting to get absolutely heretical in here
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>148499
you don't tolerate queers in this part of town, wallop his dumb ass
>>
>>148503
You swing your fist at his gay robo skull.
Roll 2d100 for results:
0-5: great failure
5-15: failure
16-80: success
81-100: great success
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148519
Faaail
>>
Rolled 39, 17 = 56 (2d100)
>>148519
your already dead
>>
>>
Rolled 6, 5 = 11 (2d100)
>>148519
TEKI WO TOMARE
>>
>>148536
I know i fucked up, but you dun goofed
>>
Rolled 15, 74 = 89 (2d100)
>>148519
>>
>>148522
With a punch, not only you destroyed the Necrobot Infiltrator's outer disguise shell, you also managed to wreck a part of his roboface
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148548
too easy, you sure your a boss?
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148548
Rip that head right off Sub-Zero style!
>>
>>148555
The Necrobot is resisting you.
Roll 2d100 for results
0-15: great failure
16-80: failure
81-100: success
>>
Rolled 93, 7 = 100 (2d100)
>>148563
call him a faggot while doing it
>>
Rolled 99, 41 = 140 (2d100)
>>148563
>>
Rolled 46, 98 = 144 (2d100)
>>148563
>>
Rolled 70, 50 = 120 (2d100)
>>148563
fuck off faggot
>>
>>148569
He kicked you away before you can rip it off
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148581
the Necrobot has a second form
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>148581
Punch him so hard he turns into a door
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148581
Tell him his favourite movie is shiiiiit
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148581
Rip of his legs!!!
>>
>>148587
You move in for another punch.
Roll 2d100 for results
0-10: great failure
10-35: failure
36-80: success
81-99: great success
100: Punched him so hard he turns into a door
>>
Rolled 33, 27 = 60 (2d100)
>>148607
>>
Rolled 37, 9 = 46 (2d100)
>>148607
>>
Rolled 69, 74 = 143 (2d100)
>>148607
>>
Rolled 23, 60 = 83 (2d100)
>>148607
deus vult
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148607
>>
>>148613
You knocked him away for knocking you away
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148632
eat dirt
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148632
Give him a spooky prank (gone sexual!!?!?!?)
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148632
wombo combo
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148632
Dive slash him with your sword.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148632
tear that head off, your son is lonely
>>
>>148643
Roll 2d100 for results
0-10: great failure
10-35: failure
36-80: success
81-100: great success
>>
Rolled 59, 48 = 107 (2d100)
>>148653
>>
Rolled 74, 17 = 91 (2d100)
>>148653
>>
Rolled 89, 53 = 142 (2d100)
>>148653
>>
Rolled 97, 3 = 100 (2d100)
>>148653
psh, nothing personal kid
>>
>>148659
Fucking hell m8
>>
>>148659
Trickery! The Necrobot had a hidden sword in his metal arm and suddenly slashes you! You take damage and dropped your sword!
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148671
USE SON AS WEAPON
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>148671
Now your mad. Throw your son at this faggot
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148671
DAAAAAD!!!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148671
GENOCIDE CUTTAH
>>
>>148672
You equipped your son
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148686
Headbutt your opponent... with your son's head.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>148686
SMASH SON AGAINST RAIDER BOSS
>>
>>148693
Roll 2d100 for results
0-10: great failure
10-20: failure
21-80: success
81-100: great success
>>
Rolled 2, 79 = 81 (2d100)
>>148700
>>
Rolled 79, 49 = 128 (2d100)
>>148700
GREATEST SUCCESS
>>
Rolled 71, 34 = 105 (2d100)
>>148700
I BELIEVE IN YOU, SON
ONE HUNDRED
>>
Rolled 96, 25 = 121 (2d100)
>>148700
>>
Rolled 77, 39 = 116 (2d100)
>>148700
>>
>>148707
YOu managed to knock out his other eye
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148717
lick him
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148717
Go for the suplex!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148717
finish him
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148717
Rip out both of his arms.
>>
rip nap
>>
>>148718
That's pretty heretical, anon
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148791
just do it
>>
>>148795
Do what, anon?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148800
LICK ME
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148800
disregard that anon
just decapitate raider boss and add his head to your collection
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148800
Continue being a hero? ._.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148800
Lick the robot
Don't let your dreams be dreams
>>
>>148803
That's heresy. Anon was sent into the heretic corner to think about what he's done.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148809
Necrobot raider hits you
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148809
Lick
The fucking
Robot
You
Double
Nigger
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148809
Punch Anon.
>>
>>148817
But why are you so obsessed with licking the robot anon? Do you ahve something to tell us? C'mon, you can do it. This is a safe place
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148829
"I like the feeling of metal on my tounge, that's why I like rusty spoons"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148829
I...i.... i miss necrovillager... you...you.... FAGPALADAD!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148829
When I was younger, my dad punched me whenever I licked ice cream so I never got to enjoy it
>>
>>148830
Ah yes, of course. Please, Continue.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148835
When I was a little child a toaster touched me inappropriately, and I can't stop thinking about something metallic ramming me from behind
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148835
My dad never licked me ...
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148835
"Can I like your helmet sire?"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148835
"I also have an unhealthy fascination for succubi and dragon witches"
>>
>>148839
Uh huh. And why did this toaster touched you inappropriately?
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148846
Because I was an attractive huffy child, and my hips don't lie
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148846
Suddenly anon explodes into a million spiders
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148846
I only put the tip in! The tip! And it pulled more in!
>>
>>148851
And what caused this transformation? Another childhood trauma?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148858
When I was little a spider licked me too
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148858
spider AIDS
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148858
Is that a weaboo rattling i hear in distance?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148858
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
Rolled 1015083124 (1d9999999999)
>>148858
God hits the spiders with a swatter and demands to return to plot
>>
>>148865
I see. Here is your diagnosis.
We now hopefully return to our regular programming
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148880
Son is making out with the other robot
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148880
Rip Raider Boss' arms off.
>>
>>148880
eat radioactive grass
>>
>>148880
We get our son to the right path
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148880
Everyone is dead
>>
>>148883
Ah, further proof that necrobots are homos
"WAIT NO, DAD. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!"
"WE WERE JUST EXCHANGING DATA"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148896
forgot roll
>>
>>148906
dose them with burning holy oil
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148906
They were actually exchanging data though and your son found a Necrobot base
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148906
Its agaibst my will! I am just. Canhead!
>>
>>148911
Just a*
Against*
>>
>>148911
Ah, so he's so gay that he can't even speak right.
"WHAT, NO"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>148923
"ANOO CHEEKI BREEKI IV DAMKE"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148923
Purge both of them
there's no saving them
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148923
Oy vey I been found out
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148923
Son, kill the robot to be redeemed
>>
>>148932
Gasp! Raider Merchant!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>148944
DEUS VULT
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148944
Rob him
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>148944
PURGE THE JEW
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148944
Toss that thing at them.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148944
Gots somfin for ya. Goyum.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148944
Pledge your allegiance like a good goy that you are
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148944
THROW HIM INTO THE GAS CHAMBER
>>
>>148949
"OY VEY THIS IS ANOTHER SHOAH, THINK OF THE SIX GORRILI---"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>148957
tell Son that his original birthname waszebra
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148957
now purge raider boss
our son shall be a heretic no longer
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148957
Now back to robohomo sex
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148957
Turm him into a lampshade.
>>
>>148963
Right, the purging must continue
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148971
Check if.your sons a jew
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148971
Throw his eyeball at him with all of your strength
>>
>>148977
A simple test. you throw a coin onto the ground
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148985
He dives for it.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>148985
The Raider Boss gets it instead.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>148985
A head cant move, bro
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>148985
Roboraider goes for it
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148985
Your son just looks at you with questioning eyes
>>
>>148985
Material belongings are pointless after you get rid of your flesh, dad.
>>
>>148989
"Dad, are you drunk?"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>148998
no, I just have a faggot for a son
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>148998
If only i was, son... if only i was.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148998
Son slowly grows a Jewish nose towards coin since he can't move.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>148998
No son, it's all true! The legends are real!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>148998
When i concieved you, yes
>>
>>149011
[Staring at you with judgemental eyes]
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>149023
Just grab son and head back to base
oh, turn off his voice modulator too
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149023
Listen son, you were always a faggot but you're a faggot with purpose! Join me in saving the wasteland
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149023
Ah yes where were we. It's PURGING TIME
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>149023
Press hidden button on his mecha skull that reveals a mohawk
>>
>>149030
[Staring at you with very judgemental eyes]
"Dad, we're already saving the wasteland. Can't you see Necrocybermancy is the one true path to immortality?"
>>
>>149037
Maybe you are drunk afterall, you forgot your image
>>
>>149037
Stop with your non-image posting faggotry son, we're Making The Wasteland Great Again™
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149040
Murder Roboraider to inspire son to your cause
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149041
>>
>>149045
Taking advantage of the confusion and awkwardness, you deal a killing blow to the Necrobot
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149057
Son starts crying like a little bitch
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>149057
Self destruct initiated
>>
>>149061
"Daaaaaaaaad, whyyyyy? Necrobots self destruct after being destroyed!"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149068
oh shit run
take faggot son with you back to base
>>
>>149068
Oh fug
>>
>>149068
the blast doesn't bother paladad.
>>
>>149071
"WHY ARE YOU SO HATEFUL TOWARDS THE FUTURE"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149089
make your son feel better by giving him a mohawk as a present
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149089
Quiet faggot or your next body is midget height
>>
>>149091
You found a piece of metal
"what"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>149102
well, I think it's time we convert our son back into a human
pray to god a miracle will happen
>>
>>149109
"Dear god, please help my faggot dissapointment and turn him back into a non-gay human" you prayed
"HEY!"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>149118
PRAY HARDER
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>149118
God decides to do it because why the fuck not
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>149118
Paladin Airships!
>>
>>149124
Suddenly, a lightningbolt hits your son.
Roll 2d100 for results
0-10: fucking nothing
11-40: necrobot attack
41-70: lightning mutant attack
71-90: son is revived...as just a talking head
91-99: son is revived as a full human
100: son is revived but then turns out to be daughter instead and you were just really neglectfull all this years to the point of forgetting her gender
>>
Rolled 15, 75 = 90 (2d100)
>>149153
>>
Rolled 46, 36 = 82 (2d100)
>>149153
I hope we fail
>>
Rolled 50, 84 = 134 (2d100)
>>149153
>>
Rolled 53, 46 = 99 (2d100)
>>149153
>>
Rolled 74, 32 = 106 (2d100)
>>149153
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>149153
>>
>>149162
Turns out it was jsut a bunch of necrobots.
"Infiltrator 5778 has been deactivated. Eliminate the paladin and commence extraction"
>>
>>149178
Necrobots with jetpacks appear.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>149178
Throw your son on them, and destroy them
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>149186
Forgot to roll.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149178
YOU CAN'T HAVE MY SON, SCUM
>>
>>149194
"Paladin fool! Prepare to be eliminated"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>149197
Necrobots fire spider missiles.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>149197
Charge them
>>
>>149200
Yes, missiles shaped like spiders.
And one spider shaped like a missile
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>149206
It's anon here for his therapy
>>
>>149209
"Do you guys like to lick stuff too?"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149212
Blow up anon
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>149212
deflect with son
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149212
Inject son with nanopaladins
>>
>>149217
with what
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149229
Your sword
>>
>>149231
And so you threw your sword at the missiles
Roll 2d100 for results
0-30: failure
31-70: success
71-100: great success
>>
>>149212
Dice+1d10
Throw flies at rockets to distract them
>>
Rolled 100, 37 = 137 (2d100)
>>149236
plz hit us
>>
Rolled 4, 50 = 54 (2d100)
>>149236
>>
>>149239
*dont hit
>>
>>149236
dice+2d100
>>
Rolled 18, 71 = 89 (2d100)
>>149236
>>
Rolled 70, 74 = 144 (2d100)
>>149236
>>
Rolled 21, 70 = 91 (2d100)
>>149236
>>
>>149239
The sword hit anon/spiders/missile, causing it to explode, taking the other two with it.
>>
>>149245
I suck at this
>>
>>149251
Now, deal with those gay parade bots.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>149251
catch sword slash heretics
>>
>>149258
Roll got ate
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149251
Necrobots unleashes spider mines..
>>
>>149262
FUCK
>>
>>149267
good job anon
>>
>>149261
You catch your sword and charge towards the heretics, intending to slash them to bits.
Roll 2d100 for results
0-30: failure
31-70: success
71-100: great success
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149251
Necrobot suddenly gets diarrhea
>>
Rolled 90, 34 = 124 (2d100)
>>149271
Exterminate m8
>>
Rolled 56, 37 = 93 (2d100)
>>149271
SMITE AND CLEAVE
>>
Rolled 24, 37 = 61 (2d100)
>>149271
>>
>>
Rolled 29, 38 = 67 (2d100)
>>149271
>>
>>149277
Success! You managed to cut in half the necrobot you were facing, only 2 left.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149294
Push him into the other two so he self destructs on them
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149294
Kick the other one in the face with your fist
>>
>>149294
throw pea through them
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149294
Get his spider missile launcher and fire it at the others.
>>
>>149294
Throw pea at one robot as distraction, the kick the other in his roboballs
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>149305
Just let me roll please
>>
>>149300
Roll 2d100 for results
0-30: failure
31-70: success
71-100: great success
>>
Rolled 96, 89 = 185 (2d100)
>>149356
>>
Rolled 59, 20 = 79 (2d100)
>>149356
rarrrg
>>
Rolled 37, 76 = 113 (2d100)
>>149356
>>
>>149362
Great success! You punched the necrobot head into the core of the reamining necrobot, killing it too.
But now all three of them are going to explode
>>
>>149373
Run away
>>
Rolled 82, 100 = 182 (2d100)
>>149356
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>149373
Shield yourself
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>149373
from the explosion a GIRL appears
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>149373
walk away without looking
>>
>>149383
Really?
Roll 2d100 for results
0-99: no
100: yes
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149373
Masturbate furiously and cover the necrobots in a layer of explosive nullifying cum.
>>
Rolled 90, 17 = 107 (2d100)
>>149390
THIS IS IT FUQBOIS
CHECK THESE NUMBERS
>>
Rolled 31, 53 = 84 (2d100)
>>149390
come on waifu
>>
Rolled 13, 25 = 38 (2d100)
>>149390
You know one day, someone will get a 100
>>
Rolled 75, 81 = 156 (2d100)
>>149390
waifu NOW
>>
>>149394
nnnnope. No girls here. Only explosions.
On the plus side you weren't killed in them. Woohoo.
>>
>>149400
But not today
>>
>>149403
walk away with out looking with more explosions!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>149403
Look back while looking at a tiny explosion!
>>
>>149408
Sometimes you wonder why Necrobots are so explodey
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149416
Your son calls you an asshole
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>149416
for this exact reasone
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>149416
Becuase they are fags
>>
>>149419
"WHY DO YOU KEEP KILLING ALL MY FRIENDS, DAD?! YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149430
Well that's because you're gay son
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149430
A photo falls out of your waistband in front of him. It is a photo of you and him when you were both younger
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>149430
z-zebra?
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149430
No crying in baseball, son.
>>
>>149432
"nnAAAARRRRGHHH" your son screamed in frustration
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>149449
Your gay screams won't work on me you little queer shit, now we'll head off to the paladin HQ and turn you into a proper hetero man
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149449
now lets head back to base to purify son
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>149449
You're going to a straight camp, son. We can fix you.
>>
>>149449
it's future zebra why!?
>>
>>149457
And so you did. With your son screaming all the way
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>149468
Drag him by his feet and let his face drag on the ground.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>149468
delay to base
>>
>>
>>149480
You have arrived at the nearest paladin base.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149487
forgot my roll.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149491
Go in
Tell everyone that your son is gay
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>149491
Bake son a cake. It's his birthday!
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>149491
eh go on another adventure
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149491
Bake son into a cake.
>>
>>149495
"Yeah we kinda figured"
"He is a heretic afterall"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149510
Let's fix that faggot son of mine guys
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149510
Call in the best doctors to fix him
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>149510
Challenge them all to a game of hacky-sack with your son.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149510
the space jews must have done this
>>
>>149514
The clerics are examining your homo son
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>149531
Confiscate all his belongings
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>149531
Give your son a disappointed stare and tut.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>149531
They finally fix the faggot
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>149531
They give him the most manly of bodies from a recently dead raider corpse.
>>
>>149539
"daaaaaaaaad"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149556
Shut up you turbo robohomo
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>149556
when did he get a mohawk?
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>149556
Give son his teddy back
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>149556
doctors make him human, but he's still a faggot.
also he keeps the mohawk
>>
>>149558
"WHY ARE PALADINS SUCH DICKS"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149580
Because we're not faggots, son
He gets fixed in the meantime
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>149580
It's just tough love. Anyways, fix him
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>149580
I should call you zebra 2.0 for being such a homo
>>
>>149585
At which point a cleric pulls you over to discuss his treatment.
"Alright, this piece of heresy will take some work to fix, but it's doable. There are two ways to do this, the first being transfering him into a corpse so he may have a new, human body. The other is giving him a less heretical mechanical one, like a toaster"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149601
Hmmm, the toaster is appealing...but show him all this necrobot scrap, can we build anything with that?
>>
>>149610
"Hmmm, well we can...and since it'll be us building it, we won't have to put in any heretical homo necrobot programming"
>>
>>
>>149621
No it's not, it's just that your rolls are good
>>
>>149621
"Good point. So the corpse it is then?"
>>
>>149623
NaP is here for 10hours give him a break you robohomo.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>149624
Put him in the corpse of an animal.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>149624
make sure it's not a space jew corpse
>>
>>149625
While I agree he should rest, the thread is not dead
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>149624
What about cloning a new body? I have his nonhomo human pinky toe thats all that left of him after he went full robohomo.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149624
Why not both?
>>
>>149630
"Of course, we burn any we found. Now come, I'll show you the selection of corpses"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>149636
Lets see em
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>149636
I choose the pace orc body the least of f the homo bodies
>>
>>149640
"Well, we got a dead settler, a dead raider and a dead green skinned mutant"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>149657
dis
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149653
Make a frankenstein monster thing with pieces from all of them.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>149653
the dead green skin
teach him a lesson.
>>
>>149653
dead settler
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149662
Seconded.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>149653
Fuck, they're all ugly, just build him a minimally heretical new robo body
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149657
this
>>
>>149662
"Alright, time to start cutting."
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>149675
BIG
MUTATED
COCK
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>149675
wait just the green one LOCK IN
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
The result is a nine foot tall Frankenstein-like creature with a massive overbite and a club foot.
And a meter long dong.
>>
>>149683
"Eeerrmm...depends on your definition of "beautiful".....and "girl"..."
>>
>>149686
fuck you and your beautiful rolls
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>149693
I'm pretty lax on that to be honest
>>
>>149697
What about it? The Frankenstein post was within a minute
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149693
Definitions of both are what I rolled a 10 for earlier.
>>
>>149698
"Yeah okay"
>>
>>149697
The board is way too slow for that though
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149713
hold on, don't make it a girl make it a grill
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149713
Graft a meter long dong between the legs.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149726
Reroll to beat the person above me.
>>
>>149724
"aaaand done."
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149732
alright, now show my son
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>149732
he's beautiful
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149732
Attach his head to it to finish it all up
>>
>>149737
"The fuck, guys. What the fuck is this"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149747
Start grilling your son
>>
>>149747
your new non gay body I'm so proud
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>149747
I thought you'd like it
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>149765
BLAZE IT
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149765
The grill transform into a battle suit controlled bt your son
>>
>>149765
Toss in some steak and some veggies
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149765
close the lid
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149765
Just a kidding, we built you a cool non heretical robo body
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
Toss in some seasoned steak and veggies.
>>
>>149771
The grill closes its lid and transforms into a battlesuit...shaped like a grill with its lid closed.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149785
throw a match in there
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>149785
activate pro"pain" mode-o
>>
>>149789
Look at that defense
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149785
That boy ain't right
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>149797
At least you're not a bolt choking faggot anymore son
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149797
quickly open the lid, throw the match in, then run
>>
>>149805
"Dad, why did you give me this unlit match?"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149820
Paladin priests come in and fix it all up by just reviving him normally
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149820
Light it using your holy powers
>>
>>149824
Yes the holy power
of a flamethrower
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>149843
[muffled screaming]
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>149843
how's it going in there you homo?
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149843
What do we say to gays son?
Nothing, we just let them burn in robot hell!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>149843
behead the surgeon
>>
>>149849
[muffled screams of agony]
Why does a robot head feel pain anyway?
"We turned his pain receptors back on" said one of the clerics
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>149864
Quick, prove you're not gay!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149864
Keep him cooking until he's well-done
>>
>>149874
The pain means the cleansing is working
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>149880
get the extinguisher out, it's time to meet our reformed son
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>149880
Take him out then give him his real replacement body.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>149864
Burn him and force his ashes into the dead raider so he can be purified of gayness
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>149880
Soon he will be a real hero and a real human being
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149880
Extinguish the fires, we now see our cleansed good, heterosexual son
>>
>>149890
Now let's see if the procedure worked
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>149898
It did
He's a real human bean now
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>149898
Give him a mohawk
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149898
Its a abomination
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>149898
It's like giving your son the belt, of course it worked
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149898
Yes. With tits, bus still a penis
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>149902
vetoing
>>
>>149902
"Hello papa"
>>
>>149915
How did we manage to turn you into an even bigger faggot?
DOCTORS FIX THIS
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149915
Get priests to fix it, quick
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>149915
Spacetime paladin picks him up. "Greg, the fuck, man?"
>>
>>149923
Their solution was to immediately use more fire
"Papa whyyyy"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>149930
MORE FIRE
CLEANSE THIS BOY? GIRL?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149915
Put him out of his misery
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149930
The other paladins wonder why your son was a necrobot to begin with.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149930
He's fixed and is just a normal human as a result, plus burn marks
>>
>>149935
Because he's a homo going through a phase. Mixing up with a bad crowd lead to this. Plus his mom was one too.
"Well okay...wait what"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149945
Dont act like you guys aren't into some weird shit also!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>149945
alright, no more grills or girls
give my son a regular human body
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>149945
Yeah his mom was a totally hot necrobot. She's dead now tho
Wanna see pics?
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149945
Through fire son has grew a full nonhomo human body. And he's pretty as fuck nohomo
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>149945
Other paladins decide to cleanse paladad
>>
>>149949
"I dunno, the weirdest I got was sex in the missionary position witht he sole purpose of procreation....with the lights on"
"mine is...buttstuff"
"I'm into holding hands"
"YOU MONSTER"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149959
>holding hands
KILL THAT DEGENERATE
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>149959
the paladins decide to purge paladad for his heretical marriage
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>149959
I think we've overcooked my son
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>149959
homoson is all fixed now. Mostly
>>
>>149963
"I may die.....but I shall go....to heaven....and hold hands...with god...."
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149971
Oh shit, my sons been cooking for to long.
>>
>>149974
Indeed, through holy fire, a new, super pretty body was created.And was immediately burned by that same holy fire. Whoops. But heey, at least he's alive now. Alive with agony and suffering, but alive.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>149984
Give him a mohawk
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>149984
Alright, suit him up with our latest technology
>>
>>149984
Be engulfed in the glory of the paladin order, for a miracle happened and your son might be roasted, but he no longer a faggotbot
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>149984
Give him an afro
>>
>>149985
".....whyyyyyyyyyyyy....."
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>149995
Give him his teddy
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149995
Take it off and give him a manly mullet, gay mohawks are gay
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>149995
he needs his teddy
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>149995
Suddenly feel regret for our actions and seek to understand the necrobot way so that we might better understand our son and departed wife.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>150021
By gawd, he looks just like his mum.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>150021
Use healing magic on his skin.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>150021
Heal him, give him an eyepatch and call him Pliskin
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>150021
give him green skin
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>150021
Give gim latex paladin armor to protect his skin
>>
>>150030
Paladin healing techniques work wonders for your skin
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>150040
alright, become not gay son now
we now work for the PALADINS
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>150040
Paladins realise hes fabulous
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>150040
Send him to infiltrate the necro bots using only a tranq gun
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>150040
It turns out he keeps being pretty homo. Also he is now in some snake lewd shit
>>
>>150048
"MY GOD"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>150057
utterly handsome son is the biggest heterosexual you've ever seen
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>150057
send him on a sneaking mission , since he's pretty good at that
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>150057
He CQC's all the paladins in the room.
>>
Erm guys, I based him out of this guy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snake_Plissken
But since Naked Snake is based on him too, then ok
>>
>>150063
"Yeah okay, dad. To where?"
>>
>>150076
Go to the camp you converted, bring them here unconscious, you can Fulto-erm I mean Falton them here
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>150076
Necro bot HQ, all you get for supplys is a tranq gun.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>150076
Necro moses island
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>150076
Somewhere to prove us you are heterosexual.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>150076
To those homo necrobots. Steal their head computer
>>
>>150071
He was a necrobot infiltrator before though so it fits
>>
>>150082
"Whaaaat, c'mon dad. The necrobots gave me more than that when i went on missions for them"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>150101
Complaining is pretty gay.
>>
>>150105
"But here's the thing, dad. Robots can't be tranq'. They're robots"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>150112
It injects nanobots to shut them down
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>150101
Slap remaining gayness out of son
>>
>>150120
"Oh okay, that makes sense....YOU HAD NANOTECH? THE FUCK?"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>150136
Nanomachines son, I ain't gotta explain shit
Now have a nanomachine dart gun to tranq them fagbots
>>
>>150136
Asking so much shit is pretty gay
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>150136
How did you think us paladins were strong enough to melee robots?
>>
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>150136
Sufficiently developed nanotechs are indistinguishable from magic.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>150143
>>
>>150142
"Agh, fine. I'm going. See ya, dad. HEre's hoping I don't get captured and turned into a NEcrobot again, making this whole trip completely pointless."
And so we endthis episode of "what the fuck is happening in the wasteland". See you next time.Updates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
File: old snek kek.jpg (13KB, 300x219px) Image search:
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13KB, 300x219px
>>150175
WEW LAD
WE'RE FUCKING SOLID NOW
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>150136
It is from your mother
>>
How the fuck did we go from the start of the thread to the end of the thread .
>>
>>150191
The wasteland is a strange place
>>
>>150175
Shit was good thanks baby
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Thread images: 166
Thread images: 166