I was bored. #1

>>1458674
Joeovk

>>1458683
>Joeovk
A voice whispers in you ear, insisting your name to be Joeovk. Joeovk is, in fact, your name, whether or not you actually know how to pronounce it.
What will you do next?

>>1458691
Check your pockets

>>1458693
>Check your pockets
You discover that you have pockets. Weird, you didn't see them before. It's kind of like they just existified when the thought popped in your head.
In your pockets you discover a spicy chicken wing and a paper with some blurry text on it.
What will you do next? (just assume I'm waiting for commands after every post)

Look around

>>1458896
>Look around
Examining the room, you don't see much. There's a window, a door, a noose, and the stuff from your pockets. You notice a life-bar in the top-left corner of your vision. It reads 100/100 HP.

>>1459174
>What will you do next?

>>1459187
Untie the noose and take the rope

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>>1459198
>Untie the noose and take the rope
You finish untying the knot before discovering the noose to be made of yarn. You snap it off and put it in your inventory.
>ewwww, it's comic sans

>>1459281
>What will you do next?

>>1459297
Punch face

>>1459281
Look through the window.

>>1459311
>Punch face
Your weak twig-arms can't form fists and painfully twist upon impact. You drop the chicken-wing and note.
-20 HP
80/100 HP

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>>1459316
>Look through the window
What window?

>>1459329
Joeovk: Check if the door is locked or not. If it is unlocked, do what comes naturally.

>>1459340
>Joeovk: Check if the door is locked or not. If it is unlocked, do what comes naturally.
The door is unlocked, so, naturally, you get on the floor and do the dinosaur. It doesn't go too well.
The outside is calm and still.
-15 HP
65/100 HP

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>>1459401
Forgot to
(it's a gif so expand it)

>>1459401
>>1459405
What will you do next?

>>1459408
Did we pick up the stuff that fell when we punched ourselves?

>>1459425
>Did we pick up the stuff that fell when we punched ourselves?
You...y'all? (ARE YOU A HIVEMIND!?!?!?!11)
You pick up the chicken wing and note. The latter has something written on it. The handwriting is hard to make out

>>1459438
>What will you do next?

>>1459446
Rub the chicken's wing on the paper

>>1459455
>Rub the chicken's wing on the paper
The hot sauce smears over the words. The only part you can make out now reads, "third time's the charm."

>>1459469
>What will you do next?

>>1459473
Open the door and get out

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>>1459529
>Open the door and get out
The outside is still. Very still. So still, in fact, that is is a wallpaper.
-15 HP
50/100 HP

>>1459564
>What will you do next?

>>1459569
Try again, but with less force so we don't hurt ourselves

>>1459618
>Try again, but with less force so we don't hurt ourselves
You hug the wallpaper with your face. It doesn't hurt as much as it's uncomfortable.
It's getting kinda awkward.

Try to read the note.

>>1459770
>Try to read the note.
You squint and stare closely at the paper. The only part you can make out you're pretty sure reads "third time's the charm."
Dafuq does that mean?

>>1459803
What will you do next?

Try door again scrub

>>1459821
>Try door again scrub
Why do the voices keep insisting on this???
But you must obey the voices; you proceed to further smash your face into the wallpaper, praying that the outside will suddenly existify and free you from the pain.
It doesn't.
-20 HP
30/100 HP

>>1459843
Third times the charm, go full speed into it.

>>1459843
This doesn't appear to be working. Go left.

Throw chicken at door 3 times, but stand well back in case the chicken bounces back and rips your paper thin skin

Dammit, eat the chicken. I need HP!

>>1459878
>Third times the charm, go full speed into it.
THAT WOULD BE THE FOURTH TRY, FEWL!!!
Loopholes are the way to freedom
>>1459880
>This doesn't appear to be working. Go left.
You go left toward the wall. And then you stand there for a second.
...that didn't accomplish much.
>>1459886
>Throw chicken at door 3 times, but stand well back in case the chicken bounces back and rips your paper thin skin
You existify a blast shield to protect yourself from the deadly chicken-bounce. It doesn't bounce...it sticks on the door for a moment before falling off.
>>1459901
>Dammit, eat the chicken. I need HP!
You're pure [255, 255, 255] white, the spice is too overwhelming.
-10 HP
20/100 HP

Look around if there is anything to do other than running at that door.

Use rope to hang self but remember to hold your breath that way to don't die

>>1459941
Great idea! Try that!
Even though we have no chair and no way to attach rope to the ceiling, and probably not even rope...

>>1459953
Use yarn noose on door handle and hang self untill dead, but still hold your breath to stay alive.

Better?

Tie the rope to the chicken, eat the chicken and pull the rope so the chicken comes out.
Then eat it again.

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>>1459971
Yes, better. Even though you would be dead and alive at the same time.

>>1459928
>Look around if there is anything to do other than running at that door.
Well, you could always...

dash(?)

at the door...

>>1459971
>Use yarn noose on door handle and hang self untill dead, but still hold your breath to stay alive.
(expand for gif)
-10 HP
10/100 HP
That plan failed, but you're still one step closer to what the voices in your head want.
>>1459980
>Tie the rope to the chicken, eat the chicken and pull the rope so the chicken comes out.
You already ate the chicken, fewl!

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>>1460023
Wait, I forgot to put the gif.
Sorry.

>>1460023
Lie down and hold the breath until I can't think clearly anymore.

>>1460034
Lie down and try to meditate to heal.

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>>1460058
>Lie down and hold the breath until I can't think clearly anymore.
Sure thing! You're still thinking just dandily, though.
>>1460086
Hmmmmmmmmm...........
It's not working-oh, would you look at that!
+20 HP
30/100 HP

>>1460115
Take the "the Breath" sign and smash it at the door.

>>1460115
EXISTIFY bored person back into the thread.

Look for spaghetti

>>1461450
Get the phone and call 911. Tell them I have 30/100 HP left.

>>1460115
Try to summon a suckybus

>>1460131
>Take the "the Breath" sign and smash it at the door.
Um, actually, "breath" ISN'T CAPITALIZED!!!!
People these days...
>>1463129
>Look for spaghetti
It is to no avail.

Fuckin' weirdo.

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>>1465506
>Try to summon a suckybus
You succeed with flying colors. Like red.

Cuz ur ded.
S'too bad, m8.

-30 HP
0/100 HP
GAME OVER

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>>1465583
Wait a minute, how did we get here?
What is this madness!?
A young hipster-bitch stands in her room, though she prefers the term "non-conformist."
What is her name?

>>1465585
Trapea

Harambe-lla

>>1465585

>>1465614
>>1465643

First namme is Trapea and last name is Harambe-lla

>>1465661
>Trapea Harambe-lla
Your name is Trapea Harambe-lla.
Why is a voice in your head telling you what your name is? You've always known your name, silly brain.

Hey, that rhymes.

>>1465747
>What will you do next?

>>1465752
Post boobs on /r9k/ and just be an attention whore all-around

>>1465752
Open the door.

>>1465756
Instead of /r9k/, make it twitter, give out your home address and unlock every door and window you have access to

>>1465752

Flip a coin to decide what gender you want to be today.

>>1465756
>Post boobs on /r9k/ and just be an attention whore all-around
/r9k/? As in 4chan? Absolutely not! They're all a bunch of disgusting nazis in a very un-nuanced manner. You get terribly triggered every time you think of that. You much prefer Tumblr.
>>1465882
And go...outside?
Out...side?
You shiver.
>>1465898
That's absurd. As if you would just do anything some voices in your head told you too. If you hallucinated someone telling you to strangle yourself with yarn, would you try it?
>>1468190
You roll your infinity-sided die. Now let's see here; it looks like you'll be demi-semi-hemi-demi-semi-gender today. Your PGP are flem, flems,
and flemself.

>>1468240
Install communism os again...

Decide what thumb is more useful then chop it off. Because less useful thumbs need a helping hand.

>>1468240
Go play videogames on Twitch for a living and show off for your orbiters' donations.

>>1468240

Check email if we got message from Joeovk yet. He didn't contact us for about... 3 weeks ago?!

Look at your computer screen. It will say "Press X to respawn". If you don't within the next hour, sexy images of you and your female friends naked will appear everywhere on the internet along with your addresses and notes that your doors are unlocked. You cannot close or lock them. If you do press x after the time limit has passed, everything will go back to normal. Regardless of when you press it however, Joeovk will appear in your room alive and well with all of his memories...

>>1468282
>Install communism os again...
You're currently using CommunOSm™ v. 19.18. You update to v. 19.49.
They included a wonderful download screen for you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nWhQO6joQs
>>1468306
>Decide what thumb is more useful then chop it off. Because less useful thumbs need a helping hand.
But how else will you snap too congratulate people?
>>1468387
>Go play videogames on Twitch for a living and show off for your orbiters' donations.
Videogames are a racist, sexist, homophobic, heteronormative, cisnormative, classist, misogynist, capitalist social construct.
You had no idea your brain could think of such awful thoughtcrimes.
>>1468429
>Check email if we got message from Joeovk yet. He didn't contact us for about... 3 weeks ago?!
Joeovk...that's a stupid fuckin' name. Actually, now that you think about it, that's your internet furfag friend's OC. You still have no clue how its pronounced, though.
>>1468646
>Look at your computer screen. It will say "Press X to respawn". If you don't within the next hour, sexy images of you and your female friends naked will appear everywhere on the internet along with your addresses and notes that your doors are unlocked. You cannot close or lock them. If you do press x after the time limit has passed, everything will go back to normal. Regardless of when you press it however, Joeovk will appear in your room alive and well with all of his memories...
You check your computer screen.
It's on...
the screensaver...
These voices are batshit insane. And why do they keep insisting on about this Joeovk guy? You feel like you're at the center of some inside joke you're not even a part of.

>>1469223

Go outside find a man and accuse him of somthing, anything. It doesn't matter what because if you scream loud enough people will think you are a victim.

>>1470251
This.

>>1469223
Punch the computer monitor right in the display screen.

>>1469223
Just noticed there are too many male leaders in this. need to make femunism for equality and male destruction.

Did an hour pass yet?
>>1469223
>>1465898
It's me, your guardian angel, and you need to listen or you truly will live a terrible life. Now, all you have to do is listen or suffer...
God wills it! Dues Vult! Admiral Ackbar!

>>1470442
Are you assuming much gender you cisshit?
I am an apache attack helicopter who is only attracted to (random shit I'm not ready to make up yet) cause' I'm such a special snowflake whom nobody loves (has parents still willing to care for me although I have no life)...

There was a man of with the name of Jeoevk
With spicy wings he learned to not lick
With a grand amount of luck
His life did not suck
All because he listens us
And so he passed away happily in glee
>However!
Trapea Harambe-lla
Must try to unhook her bra
Reveal a body most fine
With a pic online
Without lips lick duck
Or we shall scream REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

>>1471611
A man of the name Jeoevk*
Lips like a duck*

Op, are you ok?

Eat your entire foot

>>1473973
No! We do >>1468646
Ok?