SUPPA DINNA PARTA-POCALYPSE

Rolled 95 (1d100)

Lady Higglebottom. We decide to purchase 200 cats.

>>144658
Actions will be decided after the character is picked, but your character vote will be counted.

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>>144675
Never mind. I got what I wanted to done so I'm going for this.

You announce your plan and ask if anyone has 200 cats for sale.

(cont.)

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>>144729
Jessica Swindelson remarks "I didn't know you aspired to be a cat lady, and to settle for a mere 200 cats. Small, like everything you do."

This party has just started and it's on the fast track to becoming a FIASCO! What now!?

Remove your glove and prissily slap that harlot

>>144745
Decapitate her with your knife and the handle of your soup spoon

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In a desperate attempt to regain control of the party you stand up. Walk over to Jessica. Pronounce her a harlot before the guests and smack her face as hard as you can. You start to wonder if this was a good plan once you have cooled off.

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>>144924
Jessica starts to cry and yells "I WAS INVITED HERE!!!" and runs out of the room.
Your other two guests are getting very uncomfortable, but you also worry that Jessica will soon gossip about your, dare I say, abuse. One thing is clear to you; you must start to control this damage as soon as you can lest you be cast out of high society!

Rolled 24 (1d100)

Call up your friends in high society and begin spreading vicious rumors about Jessica.

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>>145038
You call everyone from Miggles Deludian Rickandles The IIIV right down to Miss. Elterdanderlantamozandeleniplon. You even call Mr. Jonsonson's butler!

You explain that there's been a feud going on for years and Jessica has been stealing things from your house. You tell people that she's got nothing left to live for and is desperate for excitement! You even tell them she's had a embarrassing operation to remove a floppy mole hanging from her butt! (That one was actually true.)

You don't think your guests are impressed with your gossip and the food may be getting cold. Ronald Alswin goes so far as to ask when we will be starting. The nerve! Lord Master Mr. Josephensen Sir McWangles explains that they are waiting for you, the host, as they should. You don't think they are impressed by you. Oh dear!

Start the fuckn dinner boi

Anyone else want to get in on this and make some votes?

Ok. I'm ending the quest due to lack of interest and a loss of mood on my end. Sorry.