Casus Belli

I fuckin love me some Crusader Kings II my friend so let's see how this goes

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>142200
Rolling

>>142244
Woo nobility. What title do you choose?

>>142244
Nice

>>142241
Great! Feel free to help me if you're good at this. I'm shit at CKII and I've never "DM'd, so itll be a wild ride.

Rolled 463 (1d1000)

>>142257
Roll to hire some Profesional soldiers into my armed forces.

going to be away for like 15 minutes guys, sorry.

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>142200
rolling for karling powah

dice+1d100

Roll for Frankish nobility

>>142343
dice 1d100
dammit

>>142354
Options field is where the dice go.

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>142364
now why aint nobody tell no folks like me that sorta thing

>>142372
Welp guess your dirt poor, I could always use more conscripts in my army, can you read?

This is easy.


Become Magyars.

Assassinate some people

Instant Empire

20 Years later

Conquer all of Europe.

Ok, back guys, sorry about that

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>142372
FUCK REROLL

>>142433
This is acceptable.

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>142200
King of europe here I come

>>142433
Too late lad, you're a boot licking street bum. What is your action?

after another action ill do a summary so far

Rolled 879 (1d1000)

>>142438
ok I can roll with this, lets sow some seeds

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>142429
Entry.

Rolled 93 (1d100)

Rolling

Rolled 831 (1d1000)

>>142452
Taking Charlemagne

Rolling for my brother dying unexpectedly like IRL

>>142452
Hail, O king!

>>142458
fucking hunting accidents eh?

Rolled 525 (1d1000)

>>142451
Middle class peasant. Sound good.
Rolling to be pelt dude.

Rolled 535 (1d1000)

>>142462
To hunt a man is truly the greatest sport.

Rolling for invading Saxony

Rolled 983 (1d1000)

>>142465
All right, I sell my pelts to nobles and the like.

>>142476
Wow, I am really good at getting rich people to pay ridiculous amounts for animal skin.

Wowee, I sure am glad I rolled a 47! And also fuck imposters!

>>142449
>>142462
You're an imposter, fuck you!

>>142489
what, there can be 2 dans

>>142486
You can´t invade Saxony in the winter without proper pelts

>>142494
Okay, but it's confusing, get a last name.

>>142449
Alright lets sell my bountiful potato harvest to potato eating people

Rolled 712 (1d1000)

>>142504
forgot my roll

>>142503
k

Rolled 803 (1d1000)

My first course of action will be to plant tasteful wheats!

Turn 1:

Ah, what a time to be alive!

>>142282
A Duke has been named; a Leroy Jenkins! I-I can't quite seem to remember where his lands are though... Word is, he attempted to hire some men, but only ended up wasting some gold with noone to show. ( Undesirable outcome, soldiers paid but didnt show. 500 gold deducted from your 8000 gold treasury.)

>>142372
I passed a bum in the street, he didn't seem too happy... Kept yelling about a "Reroll", shame.

>>142449
The locals have been thriving lately sir. In fact, word is that one peasant came across extra seeds, and should be expecting near three times his normal crop! (Fantastic outcome, extra seeds found :D )

>>142458
Massive news in the world... Charlemagne's brother, Carloman, has passed on due to an unfortunate hunting incident! Not only this, but all of his assets, and land have gone over to the new monarch. (Fantastic outcome, all assets and land. + tons of new concubines)

>>142465
I passed another peasant today too, a trapper by the looks of it. Some fine pelts for the common folk. Mayhaps he cant spread his business and grow? ( Neutral outcome, opportunity to expand.

Rolled 210 (1d1000)

>>142496
I need to expand this business. rolling to get good at the getting furs.

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>142516
Rolling to mine for precious minerals in my lands.

>>142519
If only you included the pelt selling to nobles in your first d1000 roll, you wouldve been loaded from the start!

Rolled 821 (1d1000)

>>142516
oh shit potatoes dont exist in europe yet
Sell my many wheat crops for money to move on up in the world

>>142533
FUCK

>>142519
Ignore that, didn't realize this was done in turns.
Use this:>>142476

>>142542
you didnt roll d1000

Update:
Turns will be summarized after 4 actions have been rolled for. Good luck!

>>142542
Poor guy, nothing good so far.

Rolled 73 (1d1000)

>>142548
Your right im a idiot.
>>142516

>>142516
Fuck you, faggot.

Today I passed by a retarded and delusional OP in the street.

>>142556
Ahahahahaha dear jesus poor kid

Rolled 116 (1d1000)

>>142516
Rolling for finishing off the Saxons

>>142556
Goddammit

Rolled 664 (1d1000)

>>142539
Ha ha, much wheat has brought me much wealth, invest my new found wealth into building a mill so I can sell flour instead of wheat for more money

>>142558
fuckin rude, gonna make us dans look bad

Rolled 197 (1d1000)

>>142516
For reals now. Sell to nobility.

Rolled 829 (1d1000)

I join Dan Daman as we farm wheat in the fertile farmland.

>>142585
The harvest is bountiful this year. Now I try to sell my excess crops.

Rolled 996 (1d1000)

>>142590
Forgot roll

>>142583
Shit.

File: Muh war.png (113KB, 1592x1427px) Image search: [Google]

113KB, 1592x1427px

>>142563
Shit

Also bumping with shitty map

>>142594
I have been able to sell a large number of my wheats at incredibly high prices. I am now even wealthier than the other Dan.

>>142546
Ill let that slide.

Sire! Apparently that pelt trader really was good! Word is, he's been selling to nobility and other royals! (Fantastic outcome, +2000 gold in treasury.)

>>142539

The harvest did go well for the bountiful peasant, and his luck only continues! (Fantastic outcome, triple crop. +750 to treasury (sucks to be a peasant))

>>142556
Dark days ahead for Duke Leroy. After his failed attempt at hiring men, he decided to turn to using the land and... failed even worse. Not only did the miners take his pay, but realizing they outnumbered him, have decided to keep the goods! (-2000 more gold, jeez im so sorry. Must deal with revolting workers)

>>142563
Grave news for Charlamagne... His campaign in Saxony has been brought to a halt, with a well planned counter offensive. Rumor has it that one of his armies was decimated. (Damaged morale, -1500 gold (you have 20,000) solve this issue or withdraw?)

>>142558
Sir, permission to publicly execute that bum? He is getting to be a pest!

Rolled 401 (1d1000)

>>142608
Press on, I shed the blood of Saxon men!

I guess ill sit back and watch you guys play it out actially, seems to be better that way. Ill only interject with big stuff. cheers :)

Rolled 498 (1d1000)

>>142608
This Daniel fellow is getting on my nerves, I never gave him permission to work on my farm

Anyways I continue with my mill project if you didnt count my other roll, if you did count it then start production of flour and sell it

>>142608
>>142594
I think a roll of fucking 996 (nine thousand and ninety six) deserves some sort of recognition, don't you? Even if your autistic dumbass thinks not I'm still a wealthy middle class fellow now. You can't even fucking pretend.

I actually liked you until you started pulling absolute bullshit. We could've been CK2 buddies.

Rolled 865 (1d1000)

>>142608
Sweet. Rolling for apprentice(s) to share the work

>>142619
Undesirable outcome. Bum Dan stays on your farm to keep him off the street, but he is your slave.
You lodge him

Rolled 127 (1d1000)

>>142608
Alright dice dont fail me now. Hire a man to train some soldiers so they will loyal, they are to put down the revolt and execute all involved with the mine.

>>142630
FUCK OFF

>>142628
Nice. also, forgot to count my treasury.

>>142632
Everyone gets these amazing roles then theres just me over in the corner.

Rolled 600 (1d1000)

>>142621
Oi mate, there's only one REAL Karling around here

Rolling for bloody verdict of Verdun

>>142639
Are you OK duke?

>>142621
His character roll was for a bum in the street. He cant just barge into the other Dans business and start work.

Also didnt see his roll because I was typing that summary, sorry.

>>142639
What are you even duke of? Shit worldbuilding desu senpai

Sorry if you see a "Red leader" im in another game on here too. just know that that is also me, OP.

Rolled 945 (1d1000)

>>142619
Ok im just gonna assume I have my mill, im not making much money but its all good, im still doing fine, ill roll to keep working on my flour making

>>142628
aw balls, I guess ill have him turn the grindstone then

Rolled 312 (1d1000)

Kill the Saxons, they're a nuisance

>>142649
Sorry, like I said, first time.
>>142654
Yes, you have your mill and some good money from your great earlier rolls.

Rolled 537 (1d1000)

>>142654
My God! Bum dan has proven to be one of the best grindstone turners there is! With the increased productivity, ive shot up a half wealth bracket

I invest my new found wealth into opening up a bakery, to turn my wheat into bread

>>142664
Haha, lovely. Thanks for going along with this so far guys, its helping me learn how to do future ones

>>142662
Can dukes name knights?

Rolled 520 (1d1000)

>>142661
KILL THE FUCKING SAXONS REEEEE

>>142662
Not criticizing you fa.m, criticizing the
Duke for being non-specific.

>>142673
For this... sure! But I dont think our unlucky duke wont be doing that anytime soon...

Rolled 202 (1d1000)

>>142664
My new bread baking venture is going well, I roll to continue expansion of my buisness

Also I reside in the lowlands in the northern part of Karlamagnús's empire

Rolled 92 (1d1000)

>>142628
So, I got the best 3 apprentice trappers in all the land. I shall now expand my business.

Rolled 629 (1d1000)

If I don´t get at least 600 I'm suing for peace.

>>142695
Well that was a dump. How much did I lose in that venture?

>>142694
This means that >>142686
technically has control over you. Do as you will with this information.

Rolled 454 (1d1000)

>>142698
Fucking finally

Going on the offensive

>>142701
92 is bad, so ill say you lost a trapper in the efforts to meet new larger quota, and have now had to pay for his death and missed orders... -550 gold.

>>142694
Oh no, a fire has erupted in my bakery due to the incompetence of the baker I hired, luckily thing didn't go terribly, but it will set me back

Lets recover from this setback and continue expansion

>>142703
Ya I know, but im just a lowly peasant, im hardly relevant to the empire at large

Rolled 906 (1d1000)

>>142703
I do love me some bread

Continuing Saxon war

Rolled 341 (1d1000)

>>142713
forgot my roll

>>142715
WE VERDUN NOW
IRMINSUL DELENDA EST

Rolled 21 (1d1000)

>>142710
Ouch. Note to self. Bears are not for trapping. I'll try my hand at tanning, that can't go too wrong, can it?

>>142710
I thought this went in turns? Where are all the extra rolls coming from?

>>142724
Oh god! The horror! It burns!

>>142724
Looters have raided your tannery! (Bad, but not due to your venture. Lose 255 gold worth of hides)

Rolled 945 (1d1000)

>>142719
Ugh thing are just not going my way. Seems the grindstone for my mill has cracked, and now I need a new one, boy will this set back my flour production

Lets try to get this mill fixed and back on track, gotta make some more money

>>142721
support your local bakers! it apparently seems that with bakery support, that wars go better... noted

>>142728 check earlier update... the lads seemed to prefer a freeflowing game as opposed to turns. I will remake this with better instructions soon this week, keep your eyes peeled! as for now... play along :)

Rolled 996 (1d1000)

>>142730
Oh, I thought that there would be a chemical spill or something. Mink. Just, mink. If this goes wrong I'm going to flip a squirrel.

>>142731
Fantastic outcome? Id say that you were gifted a new stone due to your amazing output of top notch flour. Reputation gained

>>142747
Hell yeah! It's the softest and the strongest mink on the market. Nobles be lining up for literal meters to get some.

>>142747
1-200 is going to normally be a very bad outcome... but good news! an almost perfect roll means more moolah.
The local nobility have seen your struggle and decided to help you out, in order for them to keep buying your wares. (+1000 gold)

Rolled 256 (1d1000)

>>142740
Alright then. Try the mine again but this time with guards.

Rolled 776 (1d1000)

>>142731
Excellent a most favourable outcome. The bakery is fixed and so is the mill, production has pixed up and everyone is lovin the bread

It seems as though people have started moving in, setting up more shops and farms in the area, its quite the lovely community we got, and Dan is quite a respected member of it

Continue expansion of business ventures, lets try getting into the brewing business, there's money to be made in beer

Rolled 305 (1d1000)

>>142761
Sweets let's try again with that tannery.

Entering the game. Let's do this!

d100

>>142776
Options...

>>142771
It appear that while you are a renowned trapper, your tanning skills are lacking. (-100 gold)

>>142766
How many? Only 2 showed up (-450 gold, mine is in business now though)

>>142767
Lovely!! Im so glad to see your growth Dan da Man... May the gods smile upon your life!

>>142776

Umm ... Actually don't know how to dice roll. Hold on.

1d100
(1d100)

>>142776
go to the options and do dice+1d100 lad

>>142778

Think I got it

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>142786

OKAY, I got it for sure this time.

>>142795
first of your kind!

Rolled 950 (1d1000)

>>142783
Grak... I suppose I will just attempt to see how the meat sells.

Rolled 931 (1d1000)

>>142783
Hire enough guards to keep out revolts like the mine and to keep out bandits but make sure their competent.

Rolled 44 (1d100)

Let's see who I am lads.

>>142799
Duly noted. Meat sells just like pelts and mink.

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>>142767
The Baker is officially raised to Baron of Leeuwarden.

Rolling for subjugating Bavaria

Rolled 423 (1d1000)

>>142795

I am a young, auspicious theologian among the highest courts in Europe. I brush shoulders with the pope daily, and have been sent northwards to convert the filthy pagans to the north. I have spent a small fortune of the Vatican's treasury attempting to civilize these peoples, and has resulted in ...

>>142803
You already rolled for that, with a 65 I do believe that you are Sir whatsyerface.

>>142819
Derp, not same fag.

Rolled 144 (1d1000)

>>142803
I am just the humble son of a local free peasant in East Francia (Specifically near the Moravian border in the far east of East Francia). While we never lived in luxury, our house was warmer and roomier than most, and we always had enough to get by.

Rolling to find apprenticeships.

>>142819
hes a different poster

>>142818
undesirable, storms and wandering barbarians endanger your route, postponign your trip... continue?

Rolled 631 (1d1000)

>>142816
Shit, forgot roll

Rolled 478 (1d1000)

>>142767
hoho, the beer must flow! It will take some time for it to age, but once I get my beer making cycle going there will always be plenty to drink

Continue expansion of my businesses, and also lets try investing into some of the other local businesses to help get them going

>>142816
I'm am so greatly honoured, from humble beginnings to my very own status of nobility, Karl is a benevolent and wise King!

>>142827
Do you choose to gift any gold to the new baron?

>>142825
You are turned down by many, and are now 25 gold poorer after your day of searching

>>142818

While many infidels were converted, I did not impress my superiors with my work. I promise the pope that my efforts in the future will be worthy of his and God's majesty.

>>142799
>>142826
How much did I rake in for this sweet meat roll?

>>142801
>>142833
Dont think you noticed my roll.

>>142828
Thanks, loyal subject. Would you be willing to carouse the Bavarian king to help with my subjugation?
>>142825
East Francia won´t exist for some time.

>>142835

Whoops, some reason thought I was the QM there for a moment.

>>142833
Sure, he can have 500 gold if he accepts my offer
>>142840.

>>142839
you continue it yourself to an extent, I interject for other things. follow what our bread baking baron is doing.

>>142837
950?? I'd say a right good 1000 meat monies due to your in with the nobles

Rolled 282 (1d1000)

>>142840
Already tasked with something so important! I will do so at once, perhaps the King of Bavaria would like to sample some of my alcohol

Rolling to buddy up with King of Bavaria

>>142840
>East Francia won´t exist for some time.
I'm not sure what it is currently called, but you still get where I live.

Rolled 388 (1d1000)

>>142826

I urge the Vatican to grant me additional funds for another attempt at a mission northwards.

Rolled 682 (1d1000)

>>142847
Hm, not a great first impression, but I wont give up that easily, double down on my carousing efforts, I will not dissapoint the king

>>142852
You are denied and your pestering for funds has put a negative reputation to your name. (bad outcome)

Rolled 996 (1d1000)

>>142851
It´s called Francia, and I do, just being semantic.
>>142847
Well, that didn´t work out.
Rolling to subjugate Bavaria with force

Rolled 22 (1d1000)

>>142833
In debt, and my options in the area limited, I decide to see if I can enlist into the retinue of my local baron.

>>142858
Due to high roll, allowing you to hold off on the subjugation due to the barons recent success...

>>142860
Fuck, my life is going to shit...

>>142860
The local barony wants nothing to do with a man in debt, (-10 for carriage ride to barons hall)

Rolled 669 (1d1000)

>>142846
My bad I've never done this with this rule set before.
After a string of failures leroy finally finds the light at the end of the tunnel, a group of seasoned mercenarys looking for a life other than the battlefield have come to town and agreed to enforce the law.
With this success leroy hires some builders to create mills to create surplus bread to sell in the future.

>>142860
Well I could always use a capable guard, seeing as how I currently have a total of 0 guards, welcome to Danport as I have recently renamed my barony

Rolled 57 (1d100)

Setting up on the Aegean Islands.

Rolled 653 (1d1000)

>>142857

I retreat to the old cathedral where I began my spiritual journey all those years ago. I start a week-long fast and worship session in almost total seclusion, in hopes of finding divine guidance or a way forward ...

>>142867
Now now, I am a friendly man, I would never turn away a downtrodden man in such a fashion, I see potential in this youngster

Rolled 88 (1d1000)

>>142866
I take this young fellow under my wing. Roll for him being a decent trapper.

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>>142856
>>142858
Well, at least the Bavarian king had an okay last feast.

FRANCIA WILL GROW LARGER

>>142866
>>142870
Barons request is open. Take it as you will.

>>142875
GET OUT OF MY WOODS!

>>142863
Using my roll to vassalise the Breton lords instead then.

Rolled 794 (1d1000)

>>142870
You're the baron in Frisia, correct? I'm pretty sure there is no way a debtor like myself would be able to make to Frisia from the Frankish-Moravian border regions.

>>142867
Dejected, I decide to head back home and see if I could find work doing odd jobs around town.

Rolled 970 (1d1000)

>>142879
Rolling to get sole trapping rights to some woods.

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>>142879

>>142882
The King, visiting the new Baron to congratulate him on his Bavarian success, decides to stop and give a charity of 25 gold to the young man in the streets.

Rolled 471 (1d1000)

>>142868
Luckily leroy also found a group of builders that'll actually show up, construction begins and continues at a steady pace.
Leroy once again trys to recruit some soldiers to start his army.

Rolled 263 (1d1000)

>>142876
My king has a way with people that i can only dream of achieving

Back in Danport, I choose to working on expanding my brewery and experimenting with new brews, never again shall I give a lord sub-par brews, only the finest of alcohol will flow from Danport

If my roll is shit and my beer is shit throw it into the ocean, I will not keep sub-par brews in my brewery

>>142889
T-thank you, my liege. You are too gracious!

Rolled 211 (1d1000)

Rolling to begin an excursion into Catalonia

>>142885
All my rolls so far have encouraged close minded life of a trapper. That said. Let's see if I can control the population of my woods for better pelts.

Rolled 126 (1d1000)

>>142893
Just as I feared, THIS BEER IS TRASH! INTO THE OCEAN (smash a barrel or 2 for effect)
AGAIN, more brews, and make em well this time or there will be VERY STERN TALKS ABOUT HOW MY BREWMASTERS CAN IMPROVE AS BREWERS AND AS PEOPLE

Rolled 401 (1d1000)

>>142901
Rolling

Rolled 553 (1d1000)

>>142871
Sweet, upper middle class peasantry equivalent on the island. How much money does each wealth group have? Do I have something like 100 gold?

I am a farmer who owns a share of a farm in East Naxos. I have a small house and enough to eat if I work hard.

>I decide to sow and harvest a crop of wheat.

Rolled 182 (1d1000)

>>142899
Well, fuck. Guess I´ll just attack the English instead.

Going to sleep, now, see you in a few hours

>>142885
you get sole rights to your forests and an offer due to your renown...
(2x more land for 1575 gold)

>>142880
granted

>>142893
your new batch has been sent awash, but your brewery still holds a name for great beer... continue in your effort?

Rolled 195 (1d1000)

>>142889

Knut notices the large train of attendants and baggage accompanying his Royal Highness, and sees if he can find any work with them.

Rolled 720 (1d1000)

>>142904
>>142909

ALRIGHT THATS IT!
Every single brewer is getting a VERY STERN talking to, and there will be improvement. I will not waste this 500 gold my liege has so generously gifted me on SHITTY SWILLS

NOW AGAIN, BETTER BEER

>>142885
Did this get noted. I fell that I would get more money if I was the only trapper in an area.

>>142914

Poor Knut just can't catch a break in life, it seems...

Let's just hope I don't get beheaded for this.

>>142907
500 for you to start

>>142894
your previous odd jobs net you 150 (great roll, sorry i missed it earlier)

>>142908
goodnight great king!

>>142917
>>142909
Yes it did, and I take the offer.

Rolled 607 (1d1000)

>>142873

I witness a miracle in the stained glass of my cathedral: The virgin Mary crying streams of milk. I go to the priest that night and urge him to follow me to occurance, but when we arrive it appears as if nothing had ever occurred. Thankfully, the priest believes my tale, as he has seen similar things in the past. He tells me he's also seen visions of Mary pointing to the north, and a man standing by her that bears an uncanny resemblance to myself. I'm somehow able to convince the Pope to launch another mission northwards. I lead this mission, with the knowledge that I am destined to go down in history ...

Rolled 205 (1d1000)

>>142907
I have succeeded at producing an above average amount of food, and I store half the excess wheat in my house to be a buffer against bad events in future.

>I sell the rest and get X gold

Rolled 47 (1d1000)

>>142920

Finally with some actually (however measly) coin to his name, Knut goes to the local tavern to celebrate.

Rolling to see if I meet any interesting people while there.

Rolled 854 (1d1000)

>>142926
Now, I spend some time doing everything in my power to improve the output of my forests.

>>142934

>Knut: "Finally! I did something right!"

>Dice Gods: "He did something right! Knut must die!"

>>142916
Ah, it seems the stern talking have had an effect, now that we finally have a decent batch of alcohol, I will send a cask to my King to show him the fruits of my labour

Continue experimentation, I want to brew something truly unique!

>>142929
100 gold for you, sir.

>>142934
>wasting your meager wages on drink.
I do not see a bright future for you, young knut.
bad roll, waste away 78 gold on reckless drinking

>>142936
a grand success! +750 gold for animal surplus

Rolled 184 (1d1000)

>>142947
forgot my roll

Rolled 829 (1d1000)

>>142929
FUCK, I am unable to sell the spare wheat for my expected price, but nonetheless make a profit. Lucky I have plenty of excess and the journey to the market was quite short.

>While continuing to do my usual sowing and harvesting (which has been reliable and paying dividends in food stability and more) I set aside a couple of acres to try out a new strategy.

>>142949
yay, I thought I would not gain anything. lucky me.

>>142949
Woots. Now, I begin a strange campaign. wherein I release the animals with the best hides to breed.

Well Baron Dan is done for the night, let your beers be alcoholic and bread light and fluffy

Rolled 796 (1d1000)

>>142961
Rolling

Rolled 341 (1d1000)

>>142927

I arrive in lower Scandinavia. My measly party of 7 guards and 34 priests survive the journey along with me, but a problem arises. The ship we used to reach this place has gained a significant breach in the hull, possibly when we landed upon the rocks while attempting to dock. The good thing is that we are here, and we begin to head towards the nearest village. We encounter the village, and are greeted with confusion. I'm surprised not a single barbarian has tried to make violent advances towards us yet, as this area isn't known for it's welcoming folk. I manage to have a meeting with the chief of this village, in the hopes that he may start his path towards God ...

Rolled 398 (1d1000)

>>142937
I never claimed Knut was a particularly wise man. (Hell, if everything in your life went to shit since word go like Knut, you'd probably celebrate your successes a little too hard, too.)

Knut forgets about the world, for just one night. When he awakes, his purse is noticeably lighter, and his head ringing with a dull pain and regret.

As gluttony is a mortal sin, Knut decides to attend mass and give confessions at his local church.

>>142963
rest well! I also take my leave for the night. Take care all!

>>142965
big money man. continue tomorrow though

This grand story shall continue tomorrow. Good night lads!

>>142972
'Till next time on, the quest for the golden pelt.

>>142975
Hopefully Knut won't be such a fuckup next time.

Rolled 314, 317 = 631 (2d1000)

>>142956
My new experiment was so fucking successful that I managed to learn a massively innovative farming strategy that I would apply to all my fields.
This new strategy produces several times the previous attainable-for-amount-of-effort yield that I will soon be able to buy out my Farm CEO (whatever the fuck they are called, since I do own some of the land and get the excess after paying my dues) and now much of the land is my own now and I no longer need to pay dues.

>I buy a bunch of farmhands to work for me.

I also pay 200 gold to bring in builders to upgrade my house to suit my upward mobility.

Rolled 481 (1d1000)

>>142966

My arguments towards taking a higher path must've angered the chief considerably, for he jumped out of his seat and began yelling obscenities at me in his native tongue. My translator tells me that the Chief wants us to leave ... immediately. We agree, and start to head towards another village ... hoping word will not spread of the embarassment we've brought upon ourselves ...

The Bishop turns in for the night. My journey shall continue later today or tomorrow.

Rolled 642 (1d1000)

I´m back baby, and I need a trueborn son.
Rolling for impregnating my wife.

>>144998
granted

Rolled 188 (1d1000)

>>146020
Nice. Time to do some conquering while we wait.

Rolling for a second incursion into Catalonia

>>146040
Poor weather and mismanagement of rations leads to a bad result, the invasion is a failure. (-750g for invasion expenses)

Rolled 890 (1d1000)

>>146051
Shit, guess I'll have to wait for my child´s birth.

Rolling for kid

>>146059
A strong young lad has been born!

>>146067
Fuck yeah! Time for a feast to celebrate! Let all the lords of the realm be invited!
(Spending 225g on feast)

Rolled 115 (1d1000)

>>142981
Bad outcomes for both.

I tried to hire 20 local dudes to help me out on the farm. Unfortunately they are pretty fucking lazy and only do half the amount of work they are supposed to. It's still overall more money made, but they don't give as much productivity as I was hoping to achieve.

The builders ended up costing 400 gold instead of 200 and their work wasn't that great. But it was still a big improvement. (200 gained)

I now have a two bedroom house with a small kitchen and a small lounge. There are a few windows (the wooden shutter ones).

>I now look for a wife, on top of continuing to do my usual work.

Rolled 101 (1d1000)

>>146076
damn.

I make a bastard with a random slightly attractive chick who visited on a boat before leaving. Let's hope that he or she becomes successful.

>rolling to get my workers more loyal to me and efficient.

Rolled 490 (1d1000)

>>146101
holy fuck this is terrible. My workers got fucking pissed off and entered into a drunken brawl and 10 of them died in their massive fight to the death style thing that they ended up doing.

>I search again for a wife.

>>146101
Nope. looks like you have an insurrection on your farm

Rolled 356 (1d1000)

Welp, time to fuck the wife again.

Sorry to be such a beginner but how do I roll?

>>146168
options, dice+1d100 for a d100

Rolled 61 (1d100)

Rolling for status.

Rolled 390 (1d1000)

Well, it´s that wonderful time of the decade again

War with the Umayyads!

Rolled 945 (1d1000)

>>146339
Trying again, Jesus be with me

File: Muh war.png (105KB, 1592x1427px) Image search: [Google]

105KB, 1592x1427px

Rolled 857 (1d1000)

>>146383
Victory! surely God is with us. Our Armies conquer every city from here to Valencia, and march on Cordóba!

Rolled 304 (1d1000)

Hey guys! Time for the wonderful misadventures of Knut the Fuckup. Continuing from where I left off yesterday.

Knut forgets about the world, for just one night. When he awakes, his purse is noticeably lighter, and his head ringing with a dull pain and regret.

As gluttony is a mortal sin, Knut decides to attend mass and give confessions at his local church.

Rolling to see if I find God.

Rolled 551 (1d1000)

>>146413
Cordóba is ours! The Umayyads will surely fall after such a blow. Let us continue our occupation.

>>146422
Looks like not even God wants to hear Knut... :'(

File: Muh war.png (105KB, 1592x1427px) Image search: [Google]

105KB, 1592x1427px

Rolled 60 (1d1000)

>>146427
The occupation goes very slowly, but the Umayyads have yet to regroup. the king updates his map and wonders what is happening in the foreign lands.

>>146431
On a side note, holy crap the dice gods really dislike me: I've only ever had one roll with a favorable outcome.

Rolled 675 (1d1000)

>>146422
Knut finds little solace in the hands of the Lord, and the Priest's guidance to him is hollow and dispassionate.

It seems Knut has some major soul-searching ahead of him, and he must do it on his own, as no one else seems to care.

Knut decides to leave his home, and go on a pilgrimage to Rome. Perhaps there he will finally find some meaning.

Rolling to see if Knut can locate any method to travel to Rome.

>>146495
(Yay! A good outcome!)

As luck would have it, Knut manages to spot a caravan preparing to leave his town. Upon meeting the Caravan Master, he learns they are down a hand due to a accident while fording a river. They grant Knut passage aboard their caravan provided he pulls his own weight. They are going to Milan, not Rome, but that's certainly a start as far as Knut is concerned.

(Does my roll grant me any monetary gain?)

Rolled 472 (1d1000)

Fuck this shit, the roll threshholds need to be modified a bit so that we have less chance at failing miserably whilst keeping similar chance at neutral outcome.

>in order to deal with the insurrection on my farm, I decide to buy a sword and shield and learn how to fight.

>>146537
I've had people getting lots of amazing rolls, and others getting shit rolls. Don't like it, don't play. It wasn't easy back then

Rolled 194 (1d1000)

>>146446
Time to finish off the Umayyads.

Rolled 17 (1d100)

rolling for status dont care if thread is ded

Rolled 881 (1d1000)

>>146961
low-end peasant huh.

I want to be a criminal then. rolling to see what kind of thug I am

>>142972
>>146669
A while back I bred some super pelts. What happened.

>>146970
It seems you make a rather good thug. Would you like to be my thug? I'm soon to be named the trapper knight, possibly.

>>147265
no

Literally crusader kings 2 kek

Rolled 379 (1d1000)

>>146970
I guess I am some pretty hardcore thug.

The name is Drex, where I come is irrelevant the only thing that matters now is to pay my protection fees or get fucked up by criminal underlings.

rolling to assemble the squad

Rolled 91 (1d100)

Ramsay Bolton incoming :^)

Rolled 152 (1d1000)

>>149523

I rally my considerable force of loyal and skilled warriors. Roll number x2 decides how many able-bodied men I have.

Rolled 188 (1d1000)

>>149523
Dayum son, you got to pick a country to run

Rolling to crush the Umayyads

>>149533
That was a terrible out come, I do believe a whole lot of peeps just took your monies and left.

>>149584

I just need my remaining loyal men. What countries are open?

>>149645
dont think you have any remaining loyal men. roll 152 is terrible outcome.

you probably got robbed by your loyal men :^)

>>149652

'Twas a reference. I'm quite prepared to die alone and with a sword in my hand though. What countries can I take?

Rolled 231 (1d1000)

>>149269
Well it looks like very few men are willing to risk their lives following a man who is a stranger to these lands. Maybe im not the only criminal entity in this town?

rolling to see how powerful the rival gang leader is.

>>149645
Pretty much every country except Francia is open m8, take your pick

Rolled 231 (1d1000)

>>149668
Looks like I'm taking the Byzantine Empire c:

Seeing all my men flee, I make one last attempt at rallying men through conscripts and promises of riches.

>>149676

Fucking hell. I got one horse and one scrawny squire.

>>149679
If you keep this up the Abbasids will be in Constantinople within the year

File: image.jpg (34KB, 304x408px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 304x408px

Rolled 592 (1d1000)

>>149679

BY THE POWER OF A PLACE IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE CALLED WINTERFELL, I COMMAND MEN TO BE A PART OF MY ARMY WITH TITS AND ASS!

>>150264
I'm killing myself.

What do I get, boys?

>>150266
+1 fuck all

Rolled 291 (1d1000)

>>150264

O-One last time, RNG? Before I accept my fate?

Rolled 295 (1d1000)

>>150421

Holy fuck. Alright. I ride out to the countryside, armed only with my crown, sword and armor. My squire runs along side as I try to convince maybe even one peasant to join me for a chance at royalty.

>>150427

Where's my bleach.

Rolled 265 (1d1000)

>>150429
I sell this man some fur

Rolled 904 (1d1000)

After hearing many stories about the misfortunes of Basileus Bolton, King Karl decides to finish up in Spain.

Rolled 784 (1d1000)

>>149667
looks like the gang leader a man named Libus is a somewhat weak fellow. not too sure how he has such a strong control over these men nevertheless should be easy to make him flinch, but instead i think I will simply challenge him to a duel of sorts to see who is the better leader.

roll for fightan

Rolled 234 (1d1000)

Beer Baron is back baby!
Lets amp up production. More barrels! More barley! More beer!

Rolled 850 (1d1000)

>>150552
ok seems my brewers misread the notice and made less of everything
God the incompetence, but im sure my bread buisness is still going strong, everyone always needs bread

File: Muh war.png (106KB, 1592x1427px) Image search: [Google]

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>>150518
Content with his gains in the war, king Karl createst the Principality of Catalonia and Grand march of Andalucia in the south, while taking some land for himself. he now sets his sight on England, where it appears the local petty lords are coalescing into larger states.

Rolled 358 (1d1000)

>>150535
Victory! Libus agreed to the duel and fell to my sword with ease. The poison coating the sword helped too.

Now with a good crew of 20 men its time to set up some nice business in this city.

rolling to set up a protection racket on local merchants and traders in the market.

>>150557
If I may ask, why attack England? going after the ummayads makes sense as we are liberating the catholics from their heathen rulers, but expanding into en gland when the empire is already so large seems like a recipe for large internal strife. It may be better to focus on the development of your core territories

Rolled 905 (1d1000)

>>150574
Making contact with one of the local lords might be useful as well as profitable. Nevertheles, Karl now looks inward, spending 2500 gold on repairing the old Roman road network.

Rolling to make friends with one of the English states

>>150580
The king's diplomats build up a great friendship with the rulers of an Anglo-saxon kingdom called Norþymbria, who abolishes all trade restrictions between our nations. Furthermore, they profess their desires to invade the kingdom of Miercna, who has supremacy of southern England. Do we help them?

Rolled 460 (1d1000)

>>150554
With the door to england open, lets get to selling them some top quality beers, im sure to make a mint

Rolled 454 (1d1000)

>>150567
Shit, seems like if you want to do something right you must do it yourself.

During the intimidation one shop owner decided to step up to Libus' men and skewered the boy making it hard to collect.

rolling to make things right.

Rolled 79, 85 = 164 (2d100)

>>150580
>>150625
With trade across Europe wide open I begin selling furs (first roll) and buying land (second roll) across the empire.

Rolled 32, 903 = 935 (2d1000)

>>150681
Let's try this again with d1000s...

Rolled 140 (1d1000)

>>150686
Apparently people don't like foreign furs. That's fine, I have loads of woods. I sell local furs (which feed into my germanic company)

Rolled 872, 393 = 1265 (2d1000)

>>150637
ah, so it seems the shop owners little stunt has turned the tide and several other merchants have banded up to try and test their luck against our swords.

for now it seems the squabble ended in slight injuries on both sides. but more merchants will band up beacuse of this.

roll 1 to attack the families of the merchants in an attempt to get them to play ball, roll 2 to seek out more men

Rolled 856 (1d1000)

>>150705
Derp, those are these shitty normal furs... all across Europe I breed better furs

Rolled 49 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

Fuck it, rerolling with a penalty.

Rolled 240 (1d1000)

>>150720
Better... but my original forest must have the best furs

Rolled 631, 968 = 1599 (2d1000)

>>150717
Nothing puts people in line like kidnapping their wives and children. With the market under direct control I move to expand into taking direct control over a fence to start moving stolen goods.

Unfortunately only one man joins our cause but I get the feeling more will come when they see the takeover of the market.

roll to 1. forcibly take over a store front and use it as a front to sell stolen property, 2. continue looking for men.

Rolled 554 (1d1000)

>>150731
I said, BETTER FURS! Worthless underlings, I'll do it my self.

Rolled 883 (1d1000)

>>150805
I'm loosing my touch. Trying again.

Rolled 586 (1d1000)

>>150813
Much better. You know what forget these foreign woods. I'm selling them all.

Rolled 439 (1d1000)

>>150791
The store front was acquired but local thieves are hesitant to trade in their goods just yet.

But like clockwork all the thugs and criminals are now coming to me looking for work. I now have a small army of underlings under my command ready to brute force fuck anybody who gets in the way.

only thing missing right now is weapons. I want to instigate a civilian riot and steal weapons from the armory these dingy swords cant do for long.

Rolled 245 (1d1000)

>>150831
Diddn't get much return on them, but I bought them for even less in the first place. >>150681>>150686

These northern lands probably would love some of my quality furs. Let's bring them.

Rolled 642 (1d1000)

>>150878
Fuck this shit! I'm sticking to home. I'm sick and tired of the retard don't want my furs foreign cultureless swine. I sell at home.

Rolled 354, 254 = 608 (2d1000)

>>150861
the riot didnt go as planned and some more than a handful of men died in the process, but with as many men as I have now it's not a problem.

now armed with men I start doing doing two things
1. I patrol the streets for any criminal elements not under my direct control
2. I will send armed guards to the breweries to "convince" them to begin giving me and my boys free brews to sell.

Rolled 632 (1d1000)

LORD BOLTON RETURNS TO THE CITY WITH A SHINY ROCK! WILL THIS CONVINCE THE RNG TO STOP BEING MEAN AND GIVE HIM LOTS OF MEN? :D

Number of able-bodied men is 2x roll

pls dont let the dirty arabs in.

>>150952
>>150625
Beer baron! This thug is biting into your funds.

Rolled 898 (1d1000)

>>151030

;_;

I go to slit my throat with my sword but remember I gave it to Winter Rabbit in return for his lovely ass furs. With these furs I try to convince some men to join me.

>>151044
Fan fucking tastic result.

Rolled 14 (1d100)

Roll

>>151087
Welp, guess its time to turn to a life of crime

Rolled 442, 837 = 1279 (2d1000)

>>150952
unfortunately the men get a little too antsy with their new weapons and armor and ended up destroying a significant amount of the brewery to convince him, in turn no alcohol was acquired.

In other news our boys decided to fuck around and get drunk and in turn dont catch a small gang robbing one our fronts.

roll to acquire more men on the streets and roll to see if the gang can begin stopping travelers and caravans patting them down for some lovely goodies.

Rolled 103 (1d1000)

>>151096
Rolling to steal coin from the local shops

>>151044

... Winter Rabbit has god-tier furs apparently. I send word to him that he now has a nice home waiting in Constantinople for him, should he ever tire of trapping.

I leave the city with four hundred men, well supplied. I send ten of my best hunters to go find White Rabbit and assist him in his hunting while I go quell some dirty Arab uprisings to the East.

Army-
Cataphracts: 75
Light Cavalry: 150
Infantry: 75
Supply Animals (Wagons and shit): 100

>>151096
hey Egor, how would you like a job pickpocketing nobles for me?

>>151103
>>151096
Good damn criminals. taking from hard working men. I'm expanding into tanning I'm so angry.

Rolled 207 (1d1000)

>>151111
It seems I get caught and get savagly beaten and thrown in a back alley.
Roll to find sonething to tend my wounds.

Rolled 121 (1d1000)

>>151123

>>151122
Id love too if I dont die in a alleyway.
>>151124
Nothing is found and my wounds begin to fester. Rolling to find help ( hint hint drex)

File: giphy.gif (799KB, 500x264px) Image search: [Google]

799KB, 500x264px

Rolled 937, 177 = 1114 (2d1000)

>>151117

Roll 1 to destroy Arabs, roll 2 to enlist more men.

Rolled 77 (1d1000)

>>151133

>>151131
Fucking tanning. The only thing i hate more than criminals.

>>151137

If you accept me as your lord and serve as my squire, I'll mend your wounds and grant you food and wealth.

>>151144
Too late. He already died alone in an alley.

Rolled 397 (1d1000)

>>151144
Now near death I get desperate I attempt to make it to the nearest lords estate for a final chance at life.

File: ramsay-1920.jpg (788KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

788KB, 1920x1080px

Rolled 292 (1d1000)

>>151134

I have quelled the Arab uprisings and taken their things, which were sent back to Constantinople to be sold. I was however, unfortunate in enlisting men. None came to heed my call, but I bought some more using my gold.

I roll to torture wounded and captured Arabs until they defect to me.

Army-
Cataphracts: 83
Light Cavalry: 121
Infantry: 125
Supply Animals (Wagons and shit): 120

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>151152
I get lost and collapse in the streets. The city guards find me dead in the morning.
Rolling for another character

Rolled 927, 296 = 1223 (2d1000)

>>151155

It appears the Arabs were too resilient and died. Even worse, one or two escaped, torching a few wagons as they went.

Roll to return to Constantinople safely, another to convince more men to join.


Army-
Cataphracts: 83
Light Cavalry: 121
Infantry: 125
Supply Animals (Wagons and shit): 90

Rolled 951, 842 = 1793 (2d1000)

>>151103
seems being a criminal lord in the city can attract only so few men, +10 street urchins added to my initial 300 armed men.

The shakedown entering the city proved to be supremely profitable allowing me to arm all my men to the teeth.

Roll for 1. spread out into the nearby villages to get them to pay their taxes to me personally
2. get Egor a job as a thief apprentice with my master thieves.

army:
300 armed mothafuckas
10 lightly armed street rats
1 (hopefully) safe and clean Egor

money:
5k from protection rackets and fencing businesses.

>>151162

Join me and my army, good sir.

>>151162
aw nuts. maybe you should retcon that post 397 shouldnt lead to death anyway.

>>151168

-some tiny scruffy ragamuffin gives you a nice neat white letter sealed with red wax. Said wax has the mark of the Boltons on it-

Through the streets of Constantinople, I hear your name every so often. Whispers of a man from afar who is quite influential in dark matters.. It would do well for a lord such as I to establish connections with a gentleman such as yourself.

What say you, good sir? Shall we band forces and show this miserly world that the low can indeed rise above the rich?

>>151162
After a successful war working for 1 one of the local barons, I attempt to find ramsay Bolton with my small band of local soldiers in a attempt to find me and my men work as officers and strategists.
>>151177
To be fare I was dying in a alley way for 2 turns, then tried to find help one last time while basically a zombie.

Rolled 81 (1d1000)

>>151197
Fuck forgot roll

Rolled 958 (1d1000)

>>151166

I have returned to Constantinople safely, and no men want to join..

Roll to search for more men -Caddius and his dudes-

>>151206

// Gotcha senpai :)

I meet Caddius who seems worse from wear (from his absolutely horrendous roll). We both sit down at a table, surrounded by my men who are defending us. A man serves us some yummy ass shit.

"What brings you to my city, good sir?"

>>151206

Halfway to my destination I was attacked by a warband of ruffians and nearly my whole band was wiped out save for my 3 most trusted men.
>>151214
However once there I find the great noble himself quite easily.

>>151206
What are you doing in my wood?

>>151229
I wish to find work as a strategist in your army along with my remaining men.

>>151242

Is that so? I can see that your men, ah, are quite injured. I can equip them better and provide doctors to care for them. Very well, send your men to the doctor's clinic and have them tell the old men there that they are paid for by me, Ramsay Bolton.

I would like you to go enlist some men for me in the city, while I go do the same. Perhaps I'll have a large campaign ready for when the Arabs come once more.

- - -

Caddius, gotta roll higher than 649.

650-800 = 10 dudes
801-901 = 20 dudes
902-1000 = 50 dudes

Lower, and some scrub throws a rock at you. Where it hits depends on how low it was.

File: Ramsay-Bolton-Profile.png (572KB, 856x1080px) Image search: [Google]

572KB, 856x1080px

Rolled 795 (1d1000)

>>151267

I'm also gonna roll because I want a massive goddamn army.

Rolled 896 (1d1000)

>>151267
Of course my lord I will get to it right away.

Rolled 357, 940 = 1297 (2d1000)

>>151168
the nearby villages dont even try to put a fight as the name Drex has already reached their ears, they pay the taxes to me personally now and the lord is none the wiser. Some local village fighters even join up with my men.

the master thief agrees but Egor is found dead in an alley, he will be missed.

>>151193
A lord who up until recently has had a great deal of misfortune wishes to be partners, seeing as his army is only slightly larger than mine and that I reside in a city not under his control I decline his invitation.

roll 1. to seek men in other cities wishing to make a profit
2. further shakedowns on the roads we need to get this money son.

army:
310 fully armed thugs
50 village warriors

money:
5k from protection + 7k from village ding dongs +700 from leftoever shakedown

Rolled 703 (1d1000)

>>151277
After finding some able bodied men I now attempt to train them as heavy calvalry as was my old warbands specialty.

File: Remember_your_name!.jpg (52KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 600x400px

>>151276
>>151277


Army-
Cataphracts: 90
Light Cavalry: 165
Infantry: 145
Supply Animals (Wagons and shit): 150

Caddius and Friends
Light Cavalry: 15
Trusted Men: 3

--------------------

You did good, Caddius. I'll grant you a small detachment of troops for you to command. Do better, and you get more. Understood?

// Should I start using money too, Drex? Seems like I'll need to keep track.

>>151280

Rolled 516 (1d1000)

>>151296

The Varangian Guard appears! Vicious axe-wielding barbarian Northerners sent from Kiev to aid Constantinople, known for their loyalty.

Roll to see how many showed up to party.

Rolled 939 (1d1000)

>>151288
>>151296
I thank you for these men, since they have been under my command I have trained to be more Like my old warband although they are a bit green They will become better in time.
Rollng to help>>151316

>>151117
I want a large field of land near your capital and you need to pay transport for me and, say, 50 live foxes.

>>151280
the city seems to be dried up of men who are not either in the kings conscription or already working for me, only 20 young men join up in this round, they begin training immediately.

the shakening continues, the caravans and traders already know to pay up and now pay my men before even entering the city.

roll to begin forming a small militia from surrounding cities and villages

360 men total so far.

32k total form protection, taxing ding dongs, and shakedown money


>>151301
i would say so. men cost money, businesses cost money. i dont really base mine on much since criminals just want to get fed.

>>151322

>>151322

// Jesus Christ, I love ya.

250 show up, shy of the 500 sent. It appears the Arabs had attacked the lads on their way here.

What say we attack the filthy mongrels for hurting our allies, Caddius?

Army-

Varangian Guard: 250
Cataphracts: 90
Light Cavalry: 165
Infantry: 145
Supply Animals (Wagons and shit): 150

Caddius and Friends
Light Cavalry: 15
Trusted Men: 3

>>151358

// at the moment, I'm just rolling and hoping to defeat the Arabs. I'll start using gold after killing them.

>>151339
I'd say recent events have gotten me some funds.

Rolled 544 (1d1000)

>>151361
Rolling to scout ahead and see what happened to the other half.

Rolled 610 (1d1000)

>>151358
rolling

>>151361
>>151387
As it turns out there seems be little evidence of a larger force coming other than faint signs of small skirmishes.

>>151376
Ramsay, you offered me a home in constantanople, I want transport for my self and 50 foxes. I want land near your capital. I offer to sell only to you for you to distribute(boost your tresury)

Rolled 91 (1d1000)

>>151408

It shall be done. I have sought out the most wildlife abundant lands and am imparting to you a large portion. None shall enter your woods without your permission on pain of death. I have sent horses your way, and a LOT of foxes. I might have included sixty.

Roll for transportation quality.

>>151427
holy shit i am so sorry. you dont deserve that.

I've gotten a hundred foxes in prime condition and have enlarged the size of your lands.

Rolled 851, 559 = 1410 (2d1000)

>>151427
LOL

roll to raid this donkey pulled cart. roll also to acquire more men

Rolled 625 (1d1000)

>>151435

You have started a war, my lower class friend :^(

Caddius? Pull your troops back. I have an idea of where we are going to take over next.

Roll to research better quality weaponry and armour.

Rolled 32 (1d1000)

>>151448
As you wish sir, I will investigate with my men to find the ones who raided your caravan.

Rolled 380, 184 = 564 (2d1000)

>>151458
mother of god.

I ride out with my army and Caddius' small detachment to search for the raiders.

ROLL FOR VENGEANCE.

and one more for nice scenery as we ride.