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Fantasy

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Tael Amei scanned the horizon of the plainslands atop his pale horse, his bright blue elven eyes taking in every detail of the battlefield. His white hair flowed down to his back from underneath his golden helm, and his armor gleemed in the sunlight. Tael turned to his small band of Elite mercenary warriors whom followed in his footsteps. They were few in number; only 5 in total. But they were the strongest of their kind, and were equal to 10,000 men on their own. (Y/C) "Haradan," Tael called, "ready the others. The Orc horde will arrive any minute. Keep Amax protected, for Magi are no use in up close fighting. Have Kimara flank and sneak attack the archers. You and Dresdan hold them off as best as you can." Before Tael could continue, war horns sounded in the distance. Tael turned to face the sound, and saw the Orc horde charging across the plain, with battleaxes and maces in hand. "Quickly!" He said to haradan with a sense of urgency, "assume formation!"
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>>1412386
>Order magi to use earth shake magic and create a narrow path as the only way forward for the orcs.
>>
You're getting slightly better, but again, CONTEXT. Who is our character, a commander of some sort? Is he the good guy or the bad guy? Who is Haradan? Amax? What are Magi? Who is Kimara? Who is Dresdan? Who are these people? Why are they fighting? I don't get it! In quest threads, you don't want to start off with big battles like this, because you'll have to either A) Use a huge wall of expository text that no one will want to read, or B) leave your players in absolute confusion because they are unaware of their ultimate goal, character, and motivation. It's better to start out with a small and easily explained character who is BUILT UP over time to command these battles, because by that point they will understand all these questions, the characters and terms that are thrown out there, and the actual POINT of the narrative.
>>
>>1412386
I like where this is going bro. You can do character development as you progress though so don't worry about it.
Thread posts: 4
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