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Anonymous
Real Robot Adventure, part 5 2017-04-27 05:21:51 Post No. 1406761
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Real Robot Adventure, part 5 2017-04-27 05:21:51 Post No. 1406761
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OH SHIT NIGGER you are Ogi - daughter of the Chief of Police. Pilot of a standard Police Mech that you named Sidorovich.
Currently you're on case involving taking down the city's largest criminal organization. Now you're about to embark on a mission to stop them from rescuing a dangerous prisoner. Juuuust have to go to the hanger and climb into your giant robot.
What do you do?
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1406761
Go to the hanger, you nigger.
>>
>>1406766
>hanger
Okay
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>1406767
Hang the hanger in the hanger.
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>1406767
We discover a horrible truth about Johnson!!! He like... FAGs!
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>1406772
Investigate how the hangers manage to hang from nothingness.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>1406772
now actually go to the hangar
>>
>>1406774
The other ones are invisible.
>>
>>1406776
>R46U62OK
>R U OK
Your I.D. says something is wrong, friend.
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>1406772
dry fish on them
>>
>>
>>1406785
>>1406774
So anyway, how bout that mission
>>1406786
That just means he's actually Terry bogard
>>
>>1406793
dry fish
>>
>>1406799
Hangar entered
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>1406816
Climb into your giant robot
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>1406816
Ponder our strange desire to dry fish
as we enter Sidorovich.
>>
>>1406827
You climbed into your robot. Taking a look at the control panel
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1406841
Dispense coffee then activate Sidorovich
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>1406841
order lunch
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>1406841
Dispense coffee and write a wish list that we should upgrade Sidorovich with Hamburger Dispenser.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>1406859
sip coffee
>>
>>1406864
yep, that's coffee
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>1406895
is it any good tho?
also if we train in sidorovich right now will we get bonus rolls in next battle?
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>1406895
Punch self in face
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>1406907
attempt train montage to become a better pilot
we need a coach NPC in sunglasses tho
>>
>>
>>1406910
dice god have spoken
>>
>>
>>1406910
"The prison transfer is happening right now. We don't ahve time for that!"
>>
>>1406915
Don't worry, he normally doesn't roll that well.
>>
>>
>>1406920
"illgiveyouabuswithcoolshades..Now get to it"
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>1406941
ride dat bus
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>1406941
Oh joy, escort mission, everyone's favorite, yay.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>1406941
A bus is just as good, really. Le't get going then.
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>1406941
Make a tactical roomba out of thin air
>>
>>1406949
Moving to mission area
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>1406966
whose the driver of that bus with cool shades?
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>1406988
cool shades bus adventure when?
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>1406988
wuss
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>1406988
oh no the bad guys hit us already?!
>>
>>
>>1406995
Fucking never. Now protect this prison transport.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>1407011
Be on the lookout for Johnson and his crew
>>
>>1407018
"It's "now cold" you stupid bi--"
Oh hey the criminals are here
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>1407053
toss grammar nazi at them
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>1407053
deploy them niggas
>>
>>1407062
Nigga deployed.
Didn't do shiiiieeeeet
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>1407066
fire your entire arsenal at that one with red visor
it looks more important than others
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>1407066
IS THAT GUY JOHNSON?
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>1407066
fire shoulder missiles
>>
DEPLOY MORE NIGGAS
>>
>>1407076
No, he was a nigga. Dude, cmon.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>1407095
dont be racist man
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>1407099
errybody Roll 2d100
>>1407103
I'm not being racist. Ur being racist
>>
Rolled 52, 40 = 92 (2d100)
>>1407107
MINNA DE CHIKARA!
>>
Rolled 24, 85 = 109 (2d100)
>>1407107
>>
>>1407119
YOur barrage of bullets and missiles hit the other guy instead
>>
>>1407107
2d100
>>
>>1407145
dice+2d100 in the Options field
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>1407144
rip other guy
okay, time to engage this wannabe gespenst
>>
>>1407161
Dude, those rolls.
>>
>>1407167
Dice god give me rolls on most unimportant and obvious actions
that's how he rolls
>>
>>1407174
hang in there anon, the battle only has begun!
>>
>>1407161
It's Johnson. But don't blow his cover.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1407186
I'll just blow up his mech's arms and legs and head then.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>1407186
ok make it look real so we can go after his partner
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1407186
Literally Blow Johnson!
>>
>>1407191
Sure, let' go with that.
Make the first move.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1407209
well at least it's not ???/???
what are our current list of moves again?
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>1407222
Ah so we still have shoulder missiles, I thought we used all of them
Do shield bash with firing shoulder missiles as follow up
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>1407222
custom
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>1407230
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 16, 45 = 61 (2d100)
>>1407238
WAREKOSOWAAAA
WARAKOSOWAAAA
>>
Rolled 80, 54 = 134 (2d100)
>>1407238
>>
>>1407240
fug
send help
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>1407243
Blocked and threw to the ground.
Now roll 2d100 against his counter attack
>>
Rolled 38, 51 = 89 (2d100)
>>1407257
so yeah, about those good dice rolls other anons
turns out they don't matter during battle
>>
also where the fuck is everyone
>>
Rolled 86, 52 = 138 (2d100)
>>1407257
>>
>>1407262
>>1407273
Ya got stomped on
>>1407267
In the grave
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>1407278
Grab his leg and trip him
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>1407278
fire rockets at point blank range right the fuck now!
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>1407281
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 68, 83 = 151 (2d100)
>>1407284
FWOOSH
>>
Rolled 34, 6 = 40 (2d100)
>>1407284
>>
Rolled 10, 8 = 18 (2d100)
>>1407284
THIS IS MY ACE CARD
>>
>>1407287
That's a hit
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>1407295
Now follow up with a RIGHT HOOK TO WHERE WE JUST SHOT THE MISSILES
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>1407295
that'll take awhile
keep firing
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>1407295
custom move go!
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>1407299
Roll 2d100 and input your own custome move
>>
Rolled 37, 69 = 106 (2d100)
>>1407301
turns out we can only program in BASIC
but if I manage roll 99 or 100 please input ugraded version of SIDOROVICH KIICKU which is combo which uses all your moves where kick is finisher
>>
Rolled 43, 18 = 61 (2d100)
>>1407301
RIGHT HOOOOOOOOOOOK
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>1407305
Denied
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 96, 23 = 119 (2d100)
>>1407301
>>
Rolled 43, 30 = 73 (2d100)
>>1407311
>>
>>
Rolled 8, 91 = 99 (2d100)
>>1407311
aw shit nigga
>>
>>1407315
no worries we beat it
>>
>>1407318
beat what
>>
>>1407321
the last roll
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>1407323
hm, our main task is escorting the prisoner, keep enemy away and proceed with transport while calling for backup
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)
Left haymaker, make sure you pivot on that heel nigga!
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>1407330
Roll 2d100 to disengage combat and return to transport
>>
Rolled 78, 94 = 172 (2d100)
>>1407334
>>
Rolled 68, 54 = 122 (2d100)
>>1407334
SPEEDY SPEEDY BOY
drift Sidorovich out of there
>>
>>1407335
Vroooom. Escaped combat. now keep the transport safe
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>1407343
proceed keeping transport safe
also call backup from tank police
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>1407346
Roll 2d100
>>1407347
It's the 2nd Division
>>
>>
Rolled 70, 91 = 161 (2d100)
>>1407348
>>
>>1407349
Transmission interruped
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>1407354
SHIELD BASH TO STUN HIM
SO WE CAN CALL BACKUP
REINFORCED SHIELD MOTHERFUCKER
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>1407354
Okay, remember how he smashed your Petrovich
get angry
get real angryalso he ate that limited donut flavored jelly in fridge you left for yourself
>>
>>1407359
FLAAAASHBACK
"Oh hey Ogi. Want some jelly? I found it in the station frigde. Somebody must have forgotten it. Since I found it hidden wayyyyy at the back, behind a bunch of other stuff"
Super Meter filled
>>
Rolled 82, 93 = 175 (2d100)
>>1407361
YOU BASTARD
SLAP HIS HEAD OFF
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1407361
MY FUCKING JELLY DONUT
JUMP INTO THE AIR AND DIVE KICK JOHNSON IN THE FUCKING ROBOT DICK
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>1407361
pew pew?
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>1407364
Roll 2d100 to slap
>>
Rolled 71, 86 = 157 (2d100)
>>1407366
shame I can't use that previous roll, isn't it?
>>
Rolled 22, 68 = 90 (2d100)
>>1407366
>>
Rolled 78, 10 = 88 (2d100)
>>1407366
aw shit nigga
>>
>>1407369
aw common dice god
>>
>>1407369
indeed nigga.
aw shit
thanksto you
>>
Rolled 95, 9 = 104 (2d100)
>>1407366
CROSS FALCON SLAP
IT'S FLAMING AND STUFF
>>
>>1407374
har nice try
>>
>>1407369
>>1407374
Goddamnit
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>1407378
Bash him with shield to stun and call fucking backup already
>>
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>1407378
>just gonna ignore that
You know what? Nobody ignores the Cross Falcon Slap and lives.
Time to unleash 'that': The Void Hammer Kick.
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>1407381
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 77, 12 = 89 (2d100)
>>1407385
Pls.
>>
Rolled 31, 89 = 120 (2d100)
>>1407385
>>
Rolled 61, 50 = 111 (2d100)
>>1407385
>>
>>1407386
NNOOOOOO
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>1407386
>>1407389
Well that didn't work
>>
Rolled 10, 20 = 30 (2d100)
>>1407391
we need a come back
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>1407391
Should've invested in evasion
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>1407391
RNJESUS SAVE ME
>>
>>1407392
Sadly that was not it.
Incoming call from a secured line. Accept?
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>1407395
You know what fuck it this can't get any worse
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>1407395
oh jeez guys you should have rolled
call dad and whine dice god is being unfair
>>
>>1407395
wait we needed to roll 2d100? goddamit, elaborate better next time
accept call
>>
>>1407395
Accept
it's Johnson
I know it already
>>
>>1407396
Oh hey it's Johnson
"Yo Ogi. You okay over there? You're supposed to stop me from breaking out the prisoner right?"
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>1407405
I AM TRYING YOU ASSHAT
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>1407405
Yeah
Our RNGometer isn't working so well
Give us another chance and we'll stop you
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1407405
Stand veeery still for just one second Johnson.
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>1407409
"sure."
Roll 2d100 to do whatever while Johnson stands still for 1 sec
>>
Rolled 46, 42 = 88 (2d100)
>>1407411
RNGod hear my prayer.
>Hit him where it hurts
>>
Rolled 70, 98 = 168 (2d100)
>>1407411
>inb4 we can't even hit standing still target
I'm starting to think this is an inside job.
anyway, PUNCH HIS FACE OUT
>>
>>1407412
AHAHAHJASIUxfn89y )0 6JB DUSFAQHWE8
IT CAN'T BE
I'D DRAW MY ANGER
>>
Rolled 57, 75 = 132 (2d100)
>>1407411
Hyper Accelerated Nigga Barrage, from the missile launchers.
>>
>>
>>1407420
yet we figured this out now
>>
>>1407414
Finally, a hit.
>>
Rolled 44, 22 = 66 (2d100)
>>1407422
Follow it up I guess
ManIwe are having a bad day today
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>1407422
CRITICAL hit you meant?
His visor must be down from that so he WON'T be able to follow us
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)
>>1407422
ULTRA PUNCH COMBO
NIGGA
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>1407426
Roll 2d100 to spam the Punch button
>>
Rolled 19, 68 = 87 (2d100)
>>1407428
damn you op
>>
Rolled 17, 88 = 105 (2d100)
>>1407428
PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH
>>
Rolled 27, 94 = 121 (2d100)
>>1407428
BUTTON MASH EXPERIENCE BAYONETTA STYLE
>>
>>1407428
OP why does Johnson get such good rolls? Does the Dice God know for a fact Johnson is better than us?
>>
>>1407432
no one roll
>>
>>1407432
Good job.
>>
>>1407431
phewww, I submitted second after seeing your winning second roll
thought we are done here
>>
>>1407439
actually my roll beat his and it was a losing one so you saved duh day
>>
>>1407440
oh
yeah
neato
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>1407432
Roll 2d100 to continue mashing
>>
Rolled 35, 37 = 72 (2d100)
>>1407442
>>
Rolled 26, 55 = 81 (2d100)
>>1407442
IN STYLE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EV6E13xODyA
>>
Rolled 70, 38 = 108 (2d100)
>>1407442
Oraoraoraora
>>
>>1407443
any one can keep rolling I don't think a tie is a winning roll but tie goes to defence.
>>
>>1407445
Noice one, anon
>>
Rolled 93, 99 = 192 (2d100)
>>1407442
I bring forth, hopefully, destruction.
>>
>>1407445
oh shit yes
>>
>>1407448
ooooooohhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiit
>>
>>1407448
OH SHIT SON
STRESS RELIEVER IS HERE
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy_Z7KoIQo4
New thread theme.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>1407448
>>
Rolled 5, 47 = 52 (2d100)
>>1407455
BAKA BAKA BAKA
JOHNSON NO BAKAAAA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hbb3cNho5E
>>
Rolled 27, 12 = 39 (2d100)
>>1407455
HOLY FUCK KEEP GOING
MASH THAT FUCKING PUNCH BUTTON
>>
Rolled 18, 51 = 69 (2d100)
>>1407455
Time to push our luck.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)
>>1407455
JOOOOOOOOOOHNSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!! Continue the beat down.
>>
>>1407455
I just don't wanna tempt fate
>>
>>1407459
And then there's this (former) high roller
>>
Rolled 14, 27 = 41 (2d100)
>>1407455
I'll do this too incase I'm expected to.
>>
>>1407448
CRITICAL HIT
>>
>>1407457
Press X for Combo Ender
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>1407465
X X X X X X X
OH YEAAAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>1407465
X
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>1407467
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 22, 62 = 84 (2d100)
>>1407468
AWW SHEEEEEEEEEET
>>
Rolled 35, 88 = 123 (2d100)
>>1407468
AW SHIT NIGGA
>>
Rolled 19, 79 = 98 (2d100)
>>1407468
END IT
>>
>>1407470
SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET
>>
>>1407470
Aw yeah
>>
Rolled 83, 76 = 159 (2d100)
>>1407468
Just once pls
>>
>>1407474
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
>>
>>1407474
Das great
>>
>>1407474
what the fuck are you rolling for if we already won?
>>
>>1407474
NEVER MIND GETTING IN THE ROBOT, JUST GET OUT OF THE ROBOT RIGHT NOW.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>1407477
plz no
>>
>>1407476
I'm getting out of the robot. For, uh, moral support.
>>
>>1407480
But then again. That roll was probably too late.
OR MAYBE THE TIME WWINDOW GOT BIGGER JUUUST FOR THIS ONE ROLL SO YOU COULD FAIL
>>
>>
>>1407484
No please what do I have to do to undo my shame
I'll commit sudoku if you want
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>1407484
OP plz
give us this one bone
slight gimmer of hope of not being failures
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>1407484
I roll to punch OP, but only if he's making us suffer. If he isn't this roll is for the cookies I'll probably fail.
>>
Okay I'm just kidding. That roll was late anyway.
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)
>>1407490
hurray! SUPLEX
>>
>>1407490
Oh thank GodI think I'm getting terriscrewed for rolls.
Do you guys have any requests?
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>1407490
Aw yeah. that feels good
now back to transport, Johnson will be recovering for awhile
>>
>>1407490
Check on Prisoner Transport while he's recovering.
>>
>>1407492
Requests, you say?
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>1407494
Shit, my roll.
>>
>>1407495
Yeah, like showing up to make a roll that needs to be botched in another game or whatever.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>1407491
Roll 2d100 to input to Suplex Command
>>1407498
Just botch basically everything you see on this board, yeah. Including this one
>>
Rolled 59, 74 = 133 (2d100)
>>1407499
If OP says so it shall be done
I think the 90 percentile run was done while I wasn't rolling.
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>1407499
FULL CIRCLE COUNTER CLOCK WISE, FULL CIRCLE COUNTER CLOCK WISE, PUNCH
>>
Rolled 24, 90 = 114 (2d100)
>>1407499
good thing you mained Yellow Typhoon in Street Brawler 4 back in school days of arcade goings
>>
Rolled 93, 21 = 114 (2d100)
>>1407499
Prisoner's probably gotten away and Johnson was a diversion.
>>
>>1407499
there is no way we can fuck this up ... or is there?
>>
>>1407505
I already rolled.
>>
>>1407506
but there is another
>>
>>1407508
Leia's dead, man.
>>
>>1407500
Ker-slam
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>1407511
ELBOW DROP!
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1407511
Check up on the Prisoner Transport.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1407511
Okay, now back to transport. Johnson won't be able to recover from this anytime soon
>>
>>1407514
Roll 2d100 to check on dat shit
If second roll is less than or equal to 80 it means the criminals had a backup plan of having a third guy ambush the truck while Johnson distracted you
>>
Rolled 99, 90 = 189 (2d100)
>>1407516
come on more than 80
>>
>>1407517
hory shit anon
>>
>>1407517
NO
BODY
ROLL
Oh wait, you can't beat him.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
BWAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
>>1407517
Oh it's cool. Truck's still there.
>>
>>
>>1407520
Call the driver.
>>
>>1407521
Damn, that's some gr8 guarding.
>>
>>1407521
Vrooomm.
And now. because I don't know any better. Roll 2d100
If second roll is a:
- Even number: Johnson gets ordered by the Tall Men to keep fighting, forcing him to activate his mech's more extreme systems
- Odd number: The driver was a plant by the criminals
- Any number with a zero behind: it's cool, nothing happens.
>>
Rolled 71, 86 = 157 (2d100)
>>1407525
okay then
>>
Rolled 54, 2 = 56 (2d100)
>>1407525
oh shit nigga
>>
>>1407526
goddamit Johnson
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>1407526
Roll 2d100 to defend
He now has a +12 bonus
>>
Rolled 9, 10 = 19 (2d100)
>>1407532
oh fuck
we need a 100 NOW
START FUCKING ROLLING GUYS
>>
Rolled 40, 86 = 126 (2d100)
>>1407532
Sure, just let me roll another 100 easily as always
>>
Rolled 11, 32 = 43 (2d100)
>>1407532
>>
Rolled 23 + 12 (1d100 + 12)
>>1407532
(You can add + to the dice rolls)
Like this
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)
>>1407532
Rolling
>>
>>1407536
Yeah but sometimes there's multiple different bonuses going on so I kinda got used to listing it down in the post isntead
>>
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>1407540
backup plz
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>1407540
ASK DAD IF SIDOROVICH HAS ANY SECRET FEATURES THAT WE CAN ACTIVATE
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>1407541
Roll 2d100 to counter
+12 him
+0 you
>>
Rolled 66, 54 = 120 (2d100)
>>1407545
Kaboom!
>>
Rolled 85, 13 = 98 (2d100)
>>1407545
FWOOSH
>>
>>1407548
man what the fuuuuuuck! WHY
>>
Rolled 18, 95 = 113 (2d100)
>>1407545
>>
>>1407548
nvm sorry
way too lat for you to stop your self
>>
>>1407549
I thought noone had rolled yet
next time
>>
Other guys come to our rescue.
>>
>>1407552
yeah it's not yer fault
maybe we can make a loose rule, who ever made the choice roll, rolls first. After it probably looses then everybody tosses in.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>1407548
Now roll 2d100 for defense
+12 Johnson's Johnson
>>
>>1407552
you roll first
>>
Rolled 40, 48 = 88 (2d100)
>>1407555
gotta beat 82 come on
>>
>>
Rolled 16, 25 = 41 (2d100)
>>1407555
sorry let me try again
>>
>>1407557
Johnson then whips out his mech's Johnson and shove it up Sidorovich's roboanus
This post may or may not be a joke
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>1407560
snap the robot dick off and shit it out at high velocity
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>1407560
since Johnson wasted his turn
Ask Dad if Sidorovich has any secret powers that we can activate to match Johnson
>>
>>1407560
For real though this is how much is left of your HP
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>1407567
call for backup
E.I. dad
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>1407567
ask Dad if we have any special powers that we can activate on Sidorovich
>>
>>1407569
"Ogi! What's going on out there?! Why haven't you fend off Johnson yet?"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>1407571
He activated his mech's extreme systems!
We need help! Does Sidorovich have any secret systems that we can activate so we can beat Johnson?
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>1407571
his rolls are too high dad
>>
>>1407572
"Press the button labeled "Plan G" over there"
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>1407575
Press button 'Plan G' on Sidorovich
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>1407575
press G button
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>1407575
We're going to turn into a Gundam, aren't we?
>>
>>1407576
Sidorovich's flashes a green light for half a second....then that's it. Nothing happens to it.
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>1407580
wait, what's plan G?
Chief? Dad?
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1407580
I sure do hope it's not self destruct button
there is no G in self destruct
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>1407583
As you stand there thinking about it. Johnson suddenly charges torwards you
Roll 2d100
+12 Him
- 10 You because you were surprised.
>>
Rolled 68, 99 = 167 (2d101)
>>1407585
yeah, sure, whatever
I'll just roll 101
>>
>>1407587
nopeeee
>>
>>
>>1407587
BAM! Look at that damage.
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>1407596
'dis is but a scratch
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>1407596
wait what
we took no damage
is this PLAN G?
OH FUCK
START FUCKING PUNCHING JOHNSON
IT'S FUCKING TIME
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>1407596
knock him out
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>1407596
Did Dad install a discount AT Field Barrier on this thing? Knee Johnson's mech in the mech crotch, regardless.
>>
>>1407598
Sidorovich reports an error. It can't clench its fist, something's stuck there
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>1407602
ENHANCE THE VISOR CAMERAS ON FIST
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>1407602
Do a diagnostic check while we take no damage
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>1407602
Do a System Check, if it is still "okay" just swipe with its arm and how for a wave of explosions.
>>
>>1407604
It's a robot-sized grenade
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>1407607
oh fuck
PLAN G
GRENADE
BACK AWAY FROM JOHNSON
TEAR THE PIN AND THROW IT AT HIM!
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>1407607
Throw grenade at Johnson
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)
>>1407607
Unpin it, smash it on his mech's head. We'll lose our arm, but its dumb enough to be something we'd do in the heat of the moment.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1407610
Roll 2d100
+12 for him
>>
Rolled 21, 62 = 83 (2d100)
>>1407612
god bless you Johnson you glorious bastard
this was plan G all along
>>
Rolled 59, 55 = 114 (2d100)
>>1407612
>inb4 we'll still fuck it up
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>1407612
>>
>>1407616
"Oh no. A super highly damaging secret police grenade. I am defeated" - Johnson
>>
Rolled 40, 84 = 124 (2d100)
>>1407618
Opps. It will probably just be you two and OP soon, I'm getting pretty tired.
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>1407620
MISSION SUCCESS
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>1407620
No one will ever will be suspicious of that, surely.
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1407620
continue too keep prisoner bus on gaurd
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>1407620
Continuing onto the destination of the transport truck, when they bring the prisoner out finally we flip him the bird both ourselves and with spov.
>>
>>1407622
[insert fanfare here]
With Johnson "defeated". The criminal syndicate's plan to rescue the prisoner has failed, for now. They will surely try to break him out some time later, but not now. Now you win.
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>1407628
>Now you win.
Yes...
We win thehuge hole in our heart because of realization of us being pure failures
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>1407628
Mission is complete, but who are the guys behind this?
Johnson what can you tell us
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>1407632
Ask dad to send us to some super hard training camp
>>
>>1407635
donuts which are as empty as our soul
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>1407637
Strike a cool pose with Sidorovich
>>
>>1407639
The one PrivateJohnsontrained at?
>>
>>1407638
The giant hole is a metaphor. For something.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>1407642
We need to get better at piloting giant robots
We need cool bonuses like Johnson has or that elite pilot we had in the prisoner transport
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)
>>1407642
The hole in Sidorovich's heart is from us not riding him more?
>>
>>1407643
"Yeah. Sucks not having a +20 piloting bonus huh"
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>1407645
well let's find out Johnson knows in his debriefing
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1407645
how do I get one
TELLLLLLL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>1407645
Teach us how then
>>
>>1407647
"Whoops sorry. Too busy being in super maximum security prison. Woah-hey"
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>1407649
Ask Johnson how he got so good at piloting
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>1407649
WE NEED TO UNDERGO HEAVY TRAINING
ASK THOSE MILITARY NUTJOBS FOR ONE
>>
>>1407652
"Whoops sorry. Too busy being in the military. Woah-hey"
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>1407653
Not this nutjob, we'll see him as final boss thanks to foreshadowing
other nutjobs, your dad's poker friends
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>1407653
Ask the Chief if we can transfer from being a Police Pilot to a Military Pilot
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>1407653
god
DAAAAAADD
HELP ME GET SUPER BUFFS
ALSO HOW'S DEBRIEFING GOING
>>
>>1407657
"Superr..buff?"
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>1407661
No, our mech piloting skills
We wanna get good
can you transfer us to be a Military pilot?
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>1407661
ask about devrifing
>>
>>1407662
"Why would you want that? Anway. Johnson sent another report on the syndicate's activities"
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>1407667
what does it say?
It's a super Mutant Jew isn't it?
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>1407667
We want to stop being a failures
>>
>>1407670
then forward with the story silly
>>
>>1407671
that doesn't seem to help
>>
>>1407670
"It's "a failure" not "a failures", Ogi. Anyway. Johnson reports that he's finally given one of those signet rings, signifying he's part of the inner circle. A few more succesful jobs and he'll be able to meet the shadowy Tall Men who runs the place in person in order to be commemorated. Speaking of which, our success in stopping them from getting Earl has set their plans back quite a bit. Johnson hasn't been able to find much info about it yet but he and Shen managed to uncover some major snippets. Has something to do with aquiring a top secret mech and having Earl pilot it for them. Thankfully they have not succeed in either endevour. In conclusion, Johnson says he'll have to lay low for a bit and do some underground work for them, more info to come soon."
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>1407674
fuck Johnson
I wanna special training
>>
>>1407677
"Then I guess I have to find someone else to duel the Military's Mech in the upcoming demonstration"
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>1407678
ooooo gimmie
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>1407678
wait wait wait
elaborate here
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1407678
WAIT A MINUTE WE NEED THIS
>>
>>1407682
"You wanted training. So I'm arranging a training schedule. And since you'll be training, you won't be dueling anytime soon. Now who can I get to take your place...maybe your sister, Niu.."
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>1407684
This training then gotta be good.
Does coach has sunglasses?
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>1407684
Is it the good kind of training? We want those bonuses, Dad
>>
>>1407685
"If it gets too sunny, then maybe"
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>1407688
Let's do it then
TRAINING COMMENCE
>>
>>1407690
"Alright. Go and rest. Your training starts tomorrow"
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>1407692
holy fuck who is that guy?!
>>
>>1407694
"Who?"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>1407696
That guy with the skull helmet and that sword!
>>
>>1407697
"What guy"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>1407700
Our trainer, the guy whose gonna teach us how to git gud
>>
>>
>>1407703
"I dunno what you're talking about. Your training was gonna be me locking you in a closet with nothing but a TV playing Rocky on repeat for two weeks while I stay outside and hold down the door so you won't escape"
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>1407704
Wow, that's your idea of training, Dad?
I quit, I'm joining the Military
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>1407704
That doesn't sound much helpful
your military nutjobs friends should know better way
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>1407704
Is this how you trained, Dad?
>>
>>1407706
"Aaah they don't know shit about shit. isn't that right, Ancient Family Ghost?"
"A-yeeesss. But perhaps she is not ready for such advanced training"
"Hmmm, maybe you're right. We should start small"
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>1407708
oh fuck
ancient family ghost, we're sorry
we'll do the training after all
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>1407708
good god.
what kind of family are we
>>
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>1407708
what ghosts can know about giant robots anyway, maybe he is dead probably cause he wasn't able to pilot one
>>
>>1407709
"Who're you talking to?"
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>1407714
THE SPIRITS
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>1407714
Our ancient family ghost!
I will do the most best training ever dad! please!
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1407714
The Ancient Family Ghost you were just talking to.
Did we get drugged earlier without realizing?
>>
>>1407717
"I was talking to nobody. You probably immagined it to cope with your realization of being never up to snuff. Or maybe you're just tired. Go home. Rest. And tomorrow your training begins."
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>1407719
head back to your apartment
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1407719
Fine geez.
we need icecream
lottsa lottsa icecream
>>
>>1407721
"Yeah sure. Go do that"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>1407722
head back to your apartment but grab some icecream on the way back first
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1407722
visit mom for a bit before that tho
>>
>>1407725
But ice cream
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>1407729
Let's do both. Grab tons of icecream and go to mom
>>
>>1407730
"That'll be 1000000 dollars. Plus tip"
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)
>>1407731
that's too expensive
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>1407731
I don't need a truck, just few buckets
>>
>>1407732
"But worth eet. Thees be best Ice Cream, yes"
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>1407734
Can we get a sample, first?
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>1407734
we're being jewed here
just go to a department store and get icecream
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>1407734
no, go to the supermarket
screw local small business
>>
>>1407735
"Okeee. Come. Suck on my spoon"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>1407739
This better not be a trap.
Take spoon, taste sample.
>>
>>1407744
woah shit
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>1407746
oh shit it's a drug, we are being kidnapped!
>>
>>1407747
Oh shiiiieeeetttt
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>1407751
Have vision quest on how to not be a failure.
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>1407751
Fight for the consciousness!
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>1407751
beyond
>>
>>1407752
Step into the liiiiighhhhtttt my child
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>1407756
Embrace the light. Find inner piece, and maybe some pizza too.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>1407756
>stepping into sunsflare
lol no
>>
>>1407757
"Greetings, unenlightened one. I am your spirit animal."
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>1407763
where is fur
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>1407763
OP?!
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>1407763
Cool. So what do we do now?
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>1407763
are you magik
>>
>>1407764
"In places you wouldn't want to look at"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>1407768
ewwwwwww
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>1407768
Oh god no.
Are you OP?
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>1407768
Are there snacks?
>>
>>1407769
"Yeah. It smells pretty fucky down there too. But enough about me. What's going on with you?"
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>1407772
I learned important lesson to not accept things from strangers
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>1407772
I want to become DA BES
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>1407772
We don't want to be failures anymore.
>>
>>1407775
"Like no one ever was?"
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>1407777
Yes, because that's our real test.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>1407777
No, like legendary pilots of the olde
>>
>>1407779
"And your cause?"
>>
>>1407783
I want to pilot robots like legendary aces of olde.
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1407783
To train is our cause.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>1407783
To train myself to be the best giant robot pilot ever
>>
>>1407785
"Then travel across the room....and open the door"
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>1407790
Do what he instructed.
>>
File: might-gaine.jpg (35KB, 640x480px) Image search:
[Google]
35KB, 640x480px
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>1407790
Train?
TRAIN?
Mighto-sama, here I go!!!
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>1407792
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtBi5dHAejM
motherfucking trains!
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>1407795
WILL IT GATTAI?!
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>1407795
Run into the door at very hihg speed
>>
>>1407796
Gattai my dick and ur anus, ho ho
>>
>>1407799being into butt stuff
ew, OP
anyway
WAKE UP
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>1407799
Commence our training once OP goes away.
>>
>>1407802
You wake up, But you never stepped through the door. And thus you never acchieved enlightenment. And died.
The end.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>1407807
that's one shitty nightmare, wake up for reals
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>1407807
Go back and achieve enlightenment.
>>
>>1407811
Guess the thread had some delayed updates. Disregard that post.
>>
>>1407809
You walk through the door and learn the one universal truth:ur a faget
Now you can finally acchieve sick bonuses if you train.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>1407813
So THAT'S why we were always such failures.
Embrace our destiny, commence the training.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>1407813
train hard
>>
>>1407815
"Right. Time to start the training. First, I have to gauge your current piloting skills"
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>1407820
Do our best in this test.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>1407820
wait, is this a dream or not
>>
>>1407823
"Alright. Get into Sidorovich and choose your opponent. A stationary dummy, a tactical roomba, or me"
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>1407828
but is it a dream?
aw fuck it. shoot in tactical roomba now, ask questions later
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>1407828
Can we keep the tactical roomba if we do well?
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1407829
Walking through the door means waking up.
So anyway.
Roll 2d100 against the roomba
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>1407831
holy fucking shit this roomba doesn't mess around
what about our day of rest? I wanted to see roomie
>>
>>1407833
you spent it high off your ass.
>>
>>1407834
I hope roomie doesn't think less of me
>>
>>1407835
The roomba dodges your shots and fired off a round straight into Sidorovich's headcam.
Another one and Sidorovich goes blind
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>1407842
aim better
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>1407842
Use Spinning Bird Kick.
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>1407845
Roll 2d100 to aim better
>>
Rolled 77, 73 = 150 (2d100)
>>1407847
actually aimed better
wow
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>1407850
QUICK! FINISH IT! ROLL 2d100
>>
Rolled 48, 77 = 125 (2d100)
>>1407854
MY AIM IS TRUE
do a shot with Pilot pop in like in those Real Robot Wars games
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>1407858
>no boob bounce
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>1407858
next level
>>
>>1407859
"
>you
>boobs
>>1407861
Anyway, time for the next part. You wanna try against another opponent?"
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>1407863
I'm tempted to save cause it's like 2 people here at most.
But save game and do that I guess
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>1407863
lock in
>>
>>1407865
"Right. A sack of flour. Or a roomba with two guns"
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>1407867
aim real good at roomba
>>
>>1407867
>A sack of flour.
Who knows what dangers that sack holds?
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1407870
Roll 2d100 to ain real good
Be warned, the roomba has a MASSIVE bonus of...+5
>>
Rolled 24, 61 = 85 (2d100)
>>1407873
Compeltely Overpowered
>>
Rolled 9, 77 = 86 (2d100)
>>1407873
oh shit
>>
Rolled 1, 2 = 3 (2d100)
>>1407873
>2d100
>>
>>1407878
This roll needs to be framed.
>>
>>1407878
that takes skill
>>
>>1407878
you are a good egg you know
>>
>>1407874
The roomba blows a through in Sidorovich's head. Visuals lost. Systems compromised.
You now have a -10 debuff
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>1407886
that's it
step on roomba
>>
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>1407890
Roll 2d100 to use your sick Robo Kung-Fu on the Roomba
+5 Roomba
-10 You
>>
Rolled 86, 46 = 132 (2d100)
>>1407891
>>
Rolled 93, 45 = 138 (2d100)
>>1407891
Remember all chinese movies you watched to enhance your attack
>>
Rolled 40, 51 = 91 (2d100)
>>1407891
This is darker than I expected.
>>
>>
Rolled 31, 76 = 107 (2d100)
>>1407898
that's some intense action
>>
Rolled 95, 53 = 148 (2d100)
>>1407898
Yeah, fair enough.
>>
Rolled 96, 96 = 192 (2d100)
>>1407898
wataaaaahh
>>
>>1407902
fear my kung furry
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>1407902
BANG! PKKOOOWWW!!1 PSSSCHOOOWWW! WACHOOOWW! OH SHIT! IN A LAST DITCH EFFORT, THE ROOMBA HAS GONE SUPER SAIYAN! QUICKLY! DESTROY IT WITH YOUR ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE OF ROLLING 2D100!
+5 Roomba
-10 You
>>
Rolled 95, 8 = 103 (2d100)
>>1407907
HIIIIYAAAAAA
>>
Rolled 100, 65 = 165 (2d100)
>>1407907
>>
>>1407909
KRAKA-BOOM!!!! Oh my god, the roomba died in the greatest explosion ever holy shit. This was indeed the best battle to be ever witnessed by anybody my god. It's so beautiful.
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1407914
yeah nah, open cockpit
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>1407914
>The face when we will never see the epic battle that occurred.
>>
>>1407915
"Alright now that's done. Wanna have one final fight to show off your skills?"
>>
>>1407921
yess
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>1407921
Yes, please.
>>
>>1407923
"Alright. Fight a Riot Mech, a Big Bot, or me with a stick"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)Niggas, I just letting you know that Gundam Versus got western release confirmed
>>1407932
Big bot seems easiest out of three
but can we fix our visor first
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>1407932
>or me with a stick
Which one's the most difficult, you with a stick?
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>1407932
A riot mech, a big bot and you with the stick... AT SAME TIME!!!!
>>
>>1407938
"Simple, my child. Me with 2 sticks"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>1407947
whoa whoa whoa, easy there granpa
we choose big bot
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>1407947
Whoa, let's not go with the final boss yet, dad.
Go for the 2nd most difficult out of the original options, I think it was the Big Bot or Riot Mech.
Get our visor fixed first, or some more blind kung fu skills.
>>
>>1407948
He's a big bot
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1407959
For us.
Get our visor fixed first or some more blind kung fu skills before the fight begins.
>>
>>1407963
Visor's fixed. Full visual capability restored.
>>
>>1407965
observe big bot for vulnerable places
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>1407965
Initiate fight now that we no longer have to adopt the darkness.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>1407967
Roll 2d100
Big Bot gets a +15 bigness bonus
>>
Rolled 67, 57 = 124 (2d100)
>>1407969
TOO SLOW
>>
>>1407935
Just so you know, I think the big bot's the 2nd most difficult given how he seems to be a new or unique type of bot. Plus the difficulty seems consistently sorted from left to right.
>>
>>1407970
Now's your chance
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)
>>1407972
use grappling hook to trip him over!
Like in that star trek movie!
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>1407972
Slam him into the ground while his arm's stuck.
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>1407975
Roll 2d100
Big Bot man has +15 bigness
>>
Rolled 89, 23 = 112 (2d100)
>>1407978
FEEL THE POWER
>>
Rolled 64, 1 = 65 (2d100)
>>1407978
>>
>>1407979
aw fuck
>>
>>1407982
that's cause other wusses have left
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>1407979
OH NO! HE'S TOO BIG FOR YOU TO WRAP AROUND! THE GIRTH IS TOO MUCH!
Roll 2d100 to defend against counter attack
+15 for Big Bot
>>
Rolled 93, 46 = 139 (2d100)
>>1407987
TOOO SLOOOW YOU FATAAASS
>>
>>1407943
If we win this fight, I think we should do some sort of multi-enemy training session to up the difficulty quicker.
>>
>>1407991
A stomp. But you dodged.
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>1408000
Observe bot for vulnerability where you can shoot.
>>
>>1408002
>>1408005
Hmmm, I wonder where would that be.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>1408007
shoot in his crotch
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>1408007
>Using RNGod's protection against crotch shots as a defense technique
The fiend!
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>1408009
Roll 2d100
Big Bot's Big Crotch gets a +20 codpiece bonus
>>
Rolled 80, 20 = 100 (2d100)
>>1408014
but how does crotch gets a bonus
>>
>>
>>1408016
It's huge. It's hard. It's painted Red.
>>
Rolled 35, 23 = 58 (2d100)
>>1408014
>>
>>1408020
no horn tho
>>
>>1408022
Oh you wanna see the "horn"?
>>
>>
>>1408023
Is that the 2nd layer of defense?
>>
>>1408026
Oh yeess
>>
>>1408029
First we gotta blast away the 1st layer.
>>
>>1408016
Turns out its codpiece was actually a type of reflector shield. All your bullets bounced back at you.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>1408032
look at vulnerabilites at his back
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>1408034
Roll 2d100 to attempt to run around Big Bot
+15 for Big Bot
>>
Rolled 91, 25 = 116 (2d100)
>>1408040
>>
Rolled 75, 44 = 119 (2d100)
>>1408040
Too slow...?
>>
Rolled 33, 8 = 41 (2d100)
>>1408040
Gotta go fast.
>>
>>1408042
Oof. Got smacked instead.
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>1408048
use this chance to do a SIDOROVICH KIIIIICKUUU in crotch from the top!
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>1408049
Roll 2d100
Big Bot's Big Crotch gets a +20 codpiece bonus
>>
Rolled 92, 80 = 172 (2d100)
>>1408058
DIVEKICK
>>
Rolled 35, 66 = 101 (2d100)
>>1408058
<<<SHOUT NOW>>>
>>
Rolled 26, 40 = 66 (2d100)
>>1408058
Kick him in the dick
>>
>>1408062
aw yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
it finally worked!
>>
>>1408062
The first layer is broken, reavealing the weapon underneath
>>
Rolled 60, 8 = 68 (2d100)
>>1408075
shoot his balls off
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>1408075
Quick, disable the weapon!
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)
>>1408080
Roll 2d100
Super Big Horn's Big Balls gets a +30 Bawls of Steel bonus
>>
Rolled 3, 99 = 102 (2d100)
>>1408085
CASTRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE
>>
>>1408089
NOBODY ROLL
>>
>>1408090
Urge to roll rising
>>
>>1408093
Dooo eeeeet
>>
>>1408089
That's a hit.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>1408096
shoot in the same spot again
it red and roundy ti should explode
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>1408096
Shoot him in the dick. Just the tip.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>1408096
Make mental note about dad's hidden homosexuality. Why else would he have a mech with a codpiece like that?
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1408103
Roll 2d100
Super Big Horn gets a +30 bonus
>>
Rolled 73, 14 = 87 (2d100)
>>1408104
yeah, nah
>>
Rolled 47, 1 = 48 (2d100)
>>1408104
>2d100
>>
>>1408105
Big Bot counters with an attilery shot that blows up your left limbs
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>1408111
Regenerate lost limbs
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>1408111
Fire a grappling hook at Big Horn to drag it down.
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>1408111
Go hotblooded as fuck and do Shining Finger on his groin!!!!
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>1408111
use right shoulder to fire missiles in desperate attempt to trigger chain explosion
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>1408116
So you want to....grab his dick.
Roll 2d100
`
Super Big Horn gets a +30 bonus
>>
Rolled 11, 85 = 96 (2d100)
>>1408120
>>
Rolled 683, 664 = 1347 (2d1000)
>>1408120
fuck you OP
why won't we get any bonuses
>>
>>1408124
It's part of the training session, is why. We get it after we finish.
>>
Rolled 5, 80 = 85 (2d100)
>>1408120
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ny24zPeQLks
Shining.... FINGAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
>>
>>1408123
Sidorovich gets squished by the giant red horn.
Battle End.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1408128
lewd
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>1408128
RIP Sidorovich, died by getting crushed.
So next time we don't go for the codpiece.
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>1408128
Did we gain EXP? Did we become a better pilot?
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)
>>1408128
SEXUAL HARESSMENT!!!!
>>
>>1408131
"Not yet. But through defeat you can still learn something. And that something for this time is sometimes the bright red obvious weakpoint is actually not a weakpoint and is actually shmuck bait"
This lesson gives your a +3 bonus to rolls
"Now come. Training will now start. Get outta there so the mechanics can fix Sidorovich"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>1408136
Front flip out of the mech and still a perfect landing.
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>1408136
>And that something for this time is sometimes the bright red obvious weakpoint is actually not a weakpoint and is actually shmuck bait"
that's fucking meta
GOTY
Training montage go
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>1408136
Commence training.
What would the difference in gainz have been if we didn't obtain enlightenment?
>>
>>1408142
You get a +0.5
>>
Rolled 114, 28, 141, 77, 93, 54, 108, 118, 35, 122, 48, 103, 39, 60, 124, 28, 21, 57, 109, 129 = 1608 (20d150)
>>1408141
"Not so fast. You're not ready for the montage yet. First. Run up this hill while dodging the rocks I throw at you. This will help your reflexes"
Roll 21d100
>>
Rolled 74, 75, 51, 79, 91, 70, 59, 7, 60, 51, 27, 20, 62, 34, 72, 46, 14, 99, 54, 66, 14 = 1125 (21d100)
>>1408148
DOOOOOOODGE
>>
Rolled 32, 73, 35, 72, 28, 46, 39, 69, 62, 99, 75, 47, 77, 94, 33, 72, 10, 93, 46, 15, 73 = 1190 (21d100)
>>1408148
>>
Rolled 30, 52, 23, 17, 19, 78, 86, 91, 94, 37, 45, 20, 5, 84, 37, 73, 45, 32, 83, 100, 43 = 1094 (21d100)
>>1408148
>>
>>1408148
Ogi's got a nice rack
>>
Rolled 44, 93, 6, 61, 93, 53, 14, 95, 39, 12, 65, 30, 9, 41, 28, 74, 42, 97, 75, 5, 46 = 1022 (21d100)
>>1408148
>21d100
>>
>>1408150
"Only managed to dodge 6 of my thrown rocks. That's not good enough"
>>
Rolled 57, 98, 79, 59, 86, 54, 18, 97, 86, 78, 56, 25, 29, 6, 29, 20, 10, 81, 41, 41, 68 = 1118 (21d100)
>>1408148
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1408159
I CAN DO BETTER
>>
>>1408162
"That's the spirit. Now get up and let's continue"
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>1408172
ROLL DEMDICESCOACH, I'M READY
>>
Rolled 96, 10, 32, 20, 36, 29, 92, 34, 28, 23 = 400 (10d100)
>>1408174
"Right. next exercise. Catch this Roomba I strapped boosters to"
Roll 11d100
If your total minus the first roll is higher than the roomba's total, then you catch it.
>>
Rolled 11, 90, 49, 21, 54, 15, 7, 56, 12, 15, 39 = 369 (11d100)
>>1408177
COME HERE YOU LITTLE SUNOVABICH
>>
Rolled 73, 73, 14, 72, 7, 93, 55, 23, 60, 53, 42 = 565 (11d100)
>>1408177
I can do it coach!
>>
>>1408180
"Good! We're making progress"
>>
Rolled 96, 40, 10, 1, 48, 41, 84, 55, 67, 5, 38, 25, 56, 54, 88, 21, 80, 74, 78, 16, 95 = 1072 (21d100)
>>1408177
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>1408182
I STILL DIDN"T FORGIVE YOU SMASHING MY VISOR YOU LITTLE ROUNDY FAGGOT
>>
>>1408186
"I'm gonnay say that's a different roomba, and the one who broke the visor was smashed already. But that's okay. hold on to that rage. As we move onto more physical training"
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>1408193
THEY ARE ALL IN CAHOOTS WITH EACH OTHER
>>
Rolled 80, 78, 43, 1, 94, 1, 96, 31, 97, 23, 84, 85, 78, 34, 17, 14, 95, 47, 56, 5 = 1059 (20d100)
>>1408196
"Sure. Now this here is your orcish punching bag. Train your fists on it."
Roll 21d100
If you hit more than 10 it's a success
If you hit more than 15 hits then it's a great success
>>
Rolled 54, 72, 97, 25, 40, 43, 67, 36, 35, 86, 36, 13, 86, 98, 52, 18, 53, 59, 26, 25, 98 = 1119 (21d100)
>>1408201
PERFECT
>>
>>1408205
11 hits
"Good"Aaaaan NOW the thread is truly dead.
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>1408214
just like this punching bag
I'm soon to head out to bed too. thanks for bread, OP
>>
>>1408214
I'm still here ready to kick butt
>>
Rolled 82, 62, 57, 38, 29, 33 = 301 (6d100)
>>1408221
"Then next exercise. Shoot down these flying roombas"
Roll 6d100
>>
Rolled 9, 71, 67, 53, 74, 81 = 355 (6d100)
>>1408225
I WAS TELLING YOU THEY ARE IN CAHOOTSsave game
>>
Rolled 33, 28, 43, 43, 17, 96 = 260 (6d100)
>>1408225
>>
Rolled 39, 36, 91, 36, 80, 18 = 300 (6d100)
>>1408225
KILL
>>
>>1408228
"Only half of em huh. Hmm. Close. But no cigar"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>1408233
I can do better!
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>1408233
we'll get better!
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>1408233
I'M FUCKING HERE, OP
WE CAN DO IT
>>
Rolled 10, 16, 29, 94, 80, 13, 73, 84, 35, 81, 39, 86, 25, 29, 49, 76, 32, 53, 22, 50, 57, 20 = 1053 (22d100)
>>1408234
>>1408235
>>1408238
"alright. Time for some more exercises. Get up and touch your feet...Get more than 12 or I'll drop ya"
Roll 23d100
>>
Rolled 1, 97, 38, 22, 31, 99, 54, 64, 15, 82, 4, 84, 71, 73, 65, 80, 65, 51, 9, 48, 54 = 1107 (21d100)
>>1408242
>>
Rolled 11, 50, 70, 87, 9, 95, 69, 43, 89, 76, 83, 62, 100, 13, 5, 97, 14, 38, 34, 41, 9, 73, 57 = 1225 (23d100)
>>1408242
Easy peas lemon squeezy
>>
Rolled 25, 63, 94, 38, 27, 74, 65, 4, 8, 36, 1, 30, 4, 70, 62, 68, 95, 21, 75, 83, 13, 9, 43 = 1008 (23d100)
>>1408242
oh shit 23
>>
Rolled 95, 66, 6, 30, 85, 46, 11, 10, 40, 59, 40, 56, 74, 42, 36, 83, 51, 22, 39, 32, 24, 47 = 994 (22d100)
>>1408247
"...That was exactly 12. not more...You're in hot water Ogi...Do it again, and this time get more than 12. Or you're getting the drop"
Roll 23d100
>>
Rolled 23, 18, 24, 54, 92, 66, 92, 34, 6, 91, 93, 42, 86, 7, 41, 86, 69, 98, 64, 21, 10, 40, 14 = 1171 (23d100)
>>1408256
I GOT THIS.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH
>>
Rolled 40, 43, 97, 27, 72, 87, 59, 72, 17, 76, 80, 77, 30, 93, 44, 91, 8, 91, 22, 8, 36, 23, 87 = 1280 (23d100)
>>1408256
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>
>>1408258
"...13. Juuust enough. Nice job"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>1408261
I'm tired from all that. Can we take a donut break?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>1408261
Now what?
>>
Rolled 34, 12, 8, 60, 41, 87, 33, 8, 40, 74 = 397 (10d110)
>>1408263
"Sure. You've earned it...OR DID YOU?! Let's see how many can you take from the box"
Roll 11d100
>>
>>1408264
My first ever roll was a 2. Wonderful.
>>
Rolled 44, 34, 95, 14, 65, 70, 84, 2, 34, 63, 76 = 581 (11d100)
>>1408266
Trying again.
>>
>>1408267
Congratulations
>>
Rolled 45, 27, 25, 94, 38, 38, 43, 74, 43, 75, 77 = 579 (11d100)
>>1408266
You are like a little baby. Watch this.
>>
Rolled 76, 22, 74, 28, 51, 53, 56, 94, 83, 82, 42 = 661 (11d100)
>>1408266
COME ON
>>
>>1408272
YOu managed to snatch 5 donuts
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>1408275
MY JELLY FILLED DONUT!
TAKE A BITE INTO IT!
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>1408275
Our training served us well. Consume the donuts.
>>
>>1408278
Tastes much betterthan usual
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>1408280
cuz we earned them
>>
>>1408285
"alright. Break's over. Time to train your skills...in bed....Okay I'm kidding. Get over there and start up the simulator. It's time for some mind training"
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>1408288
oh shit, virtual reality time
let's go
>>
>>1408290
"Oh yeah check out those state of the art graphics"
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)
>>1408294
Simulate this!
*punches enemy*
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>1408294
dance
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>1408294
holy shit, those graphics are good
>>
>>1408297
Your sick dance moves have agitated the enemy virtual bot
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>1408303
Show off breakdancing skills.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>1408303
cuz I'm gonna live forevah!
I'm gonna learn how tah fly! FAME!
KICK HIM THE NUTS WITH A BALLERINA KICK
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>1408312
break dance fight
it's so hot right now
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>1408312
Now do a kick out of the windmill and take this virtual bot down!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>1408312
Use Eddy Gordo moves you learned from playing Tekken to attack your enemy.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>1408314
>hot
OH SHIT IT'S USING A FLAMETHROWER
RoLL 2d100
>>
Rolled 20, 39 = 59 (2d100)
>>1408321
DODGE THAT PIXEL SHIT NIGGA
>>
>>1408322
Dodged
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)
>>1408325
Counterattack with your own pixels.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>1408325
Use our pixel pistol to fire back!
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>1408327
>>1408326
[bang]
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 73, 12 = 85 (2d100)
>>1408332
BANG!
>>
Rolled 10, 100 = 110 (2d100)
>>1408332
Eat pixels
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>1408334
Missed. Now it's gonna punch ya
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 75, 8 = 83 (2d100)
>>1408342
TOO SLOW NIGGA
>>
>>1408343
That was close
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)
>>1408346
NOW DO A PUNCH OF YOUR OWN
COUNTER ATTACK!
>>
>>1408346
Retaliate with an insult to its mother.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>1408347
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 1, 8 = 9 (2d100)
>>1408355
PIXEL PUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH
>>
Rolled 77, 42 = 119 (2d100)
>>1408355
This simulation is too easy. Turn up the difficulty coach!
>>
>>1408357
Goddamn
>>1408358
"Alright. Sending in stronger drones. Get ready"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>1408363
Ready our fortified shield in preparation
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>1408363
Gather up energy and prepare for the onslaught. You can't spell onslaught without laugh.
>>
>>1408364
>>1408367
>onslaught
loading copyrightinfringement.exe
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>1408372
oh damn
this nigga looks tough
let's fucking do it, RIGHT HOOK RIGHT INTO HIS PIXEL FACE
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1408372
Throw grenade at it.
I'm about to take my final exam now see you guys later thanks for the thread.
>>
>>1408377
Good luck then.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>1408377
Grenade deployed
Roll 2d100
Enemy has +20 bonus
>>
Rolled 37, 17 = 54 (2d100)
>>1408383
THANKS FOR THE GRENADE, JOHNSON
>>
>>1408386
You ahve been vaporized.
Simulation End.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>1408393
god damn it
I want to get better, Chief
can we still duel that military mech?
>>
>>1408396
"Depends. Your training is not yet complete. And now. Time for the last exercise for today....Perhaps the most difficult you have ever faced: somehow make this thread active with more than 1 player"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>1408403
hmm hmm
I say we save the game unless two more people show up and stop lurking
if we can do that, is our training complete?
>>
>>1408404
"Your first day of training maybe. There's still at least a week left. Maybe more. That's when we'll engage the training montage"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>1408408
WE'RE GONNA BE THE BEST PILOT
>>
>>1408410
"Sure you will"
Game saved
updates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>1408413
good bread, boss
I can feel us getting stronger
>>
>>1408414
I can feel the threads getting deader
>>
>>1408417
that's cause people went to sleep and have stuff to do
we'll get them next time
>>
>>1408419
Sure
>>
I was asleep, this is true.
>>
File: IMG_0005.png (59KB, 500x500px) Image search:
[Google]
59KB, 500x500px
>>
>>1408522
I am indeed the one known as drawfriend.
>>
>>1408549
>draw friend
>friend
>end
>>
>>1408417
I went to sleep my vietnamese friend
I was dreaming about robots and fried chicken
man I'd go for some fried chicken
>>
butts
>>
>>1409545
hometowns
>>
Anyway, who's in herer
>>
>>1409566
probably not enough
it's never enough
>>
>>
>>1409579
Hello
>>
So anyway, dem robots huh. What's their deal. Being all roboty n shit.
>>
>>1409566
I just got into CONFLICT with my wasted, high on god knows what mother about an hour ago, but I'm here now.
>>
>>1409612
Yes but is your mother also a robot
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)
>>1409617
back to finishing training off
>>
>>1409617
I knocked her ass to the ground in self-defense and then after that did nothing I hit her with a wooden cane when she got right back up to try coming at me again and it did basically nothing, she's built like one in the very least.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>1409621
Roll 2d100 to see if you made it to the second day of training in time
>>1409624
Ah so you beat your mom.
wait what
>>
Rolled 51, 25 = 76 (2d100)
>>1409629
rolling
>>
Rolled 81, 16 = 97 (2d100)
>>1409629
>wait what
That woman's a goddamned psychopath, OP. She didn't just after me and I wasn't going to have none of that shit.
>>
>>1409632
"Ah so you're here. Good"
>>
>>1409648
*just come after
Also I've failed us.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>1409651
remove the chair
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>1409651
What's up next, Father?
>>
>>1409656
>>1409658
"More training of course. Let's start with the hill exercise again. Be ready to get rocks thrown at you"
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>1409666
start training
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>1409666
Activate our hidden +5 rock evading bonus from REALLY not wanting to get hit by rocks again.
>>
Rolled 121, 78, 65, 114, 43, 51, 57, 76, 4, 41, 33, 27, 26, 24, 41, 61, 15, 109, 29, 109 = 1124 (20d150)
>>1409671
Roll 21d100
>>
Rolled 24, 14, 51, 13, 42, 50, 58, 33, 26, 74, 3, 31, 81, 92, 18, 5, 42, 99, 14, 52, 26 = 848 (21d100)
>>1409682
rocky theme starts playing
>>
Rolled 57, 93, 38, 96, 58, 81, 82, 58, 65, 87, 16, 47, 83, 61, 44, 72, 2, 36, 98, 55, 69 = 1298 (21d100)
>>1409682
[SEMI-WORRIED AND YET STILL VERY AGGRESSIVE YELLING HERE]
>>
>>1409689
"Good. Managed to dodge 12 this time. Much better than yesterday"
>>
>>1409720
WE FEEL THE POWER
>>
>>1409726
>>1409727
"And now. Some endurance training. Imma strap heavyweights to you. Then you're gonna run around the training grounds until I say stop."
>>
>>1409720
nigga stile my bike
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>1409741
how that's going to make me better giant robot pilot again?
>>
>>1409749
"The stronger you are. The longer you can pilot. The less chance you'll be rattled when an attack hits. Plus we're installing a new piloting system into Sidorovich. It'll be more responsive but also more draining to the pilot"
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>1409763
WILL IT NEED A PLUG SUIT?!??!
>>
>>1409768
"If that the case then what we'll need is a lawyer"
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>1409775
Aw, will we at least get some sort of new pilot suitDLC?
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>1409781
aaanyway, back to training
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>1409790
yeah, shush,Todd, you are not welcome here
see, you scared all other anons
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>1409790
Fuck off, jew.
>>
>>1409793
Half of the time I don't understand anything you say. What sercrets do you covey that I don't seem to grasp?
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>1409806
How heavy of some weights are we talking here?
>>
>>
>>1409813
"We'll start simple. A tire. A safe with your pension fund inside. And an old man"
>>
File: ALLTHEEVILS.jpg (126KB, 1200x675px) Image search:
[Google]
126KB, 1200x675px
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>1409816
I have best teachers
>>1409827
DOOOOO IT
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>1409827
You're not THAT old, are you?
>>
Oh no our high rolls.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>1409827
We've had to pull worse. Sidorvich got stuck in some mud one time and you best believe there weren't any tow trucks around.
>>
Rolled 5851 (1d10000)
>>1409830
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 87, 91 = 178 (2d100)
>>1409840
that'll take awhile
>>
Rolled 75, 99 = 174 (2d100)
>>1409840
Now watch as we single handedly give ourselves a hernia.
>>
Rolled 32, 75 = 107 (2d100)
>>1409840
Oh boy here we go.
>>
>>1409844
Insert p[ainful grunting here
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>1409871
KEEP TRYING
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>1409871
What are we, a baby? Pull harder. That hospital trip ain't gonna come to us!
>>
Rolled 95, 73 = 168 (2d100)
>>1409871
just like my anime pregnancy
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>1409885
hnnnng harder
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>1409885
NNGNGGGGHHHHHHHHHHWWRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>1409885
>>
>>1409889
>>1409890
>>1409893
"C'mon . Almost there. Try harder and you may move an inch"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>1409885
Blood vessels in our head pop.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1409895
BELIEVE IN OURSEL
PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>1409895
hng hng hng
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>1409895
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>1409895
Bust open a can of spinach like Pop-Eye. If that don't work then I got nothing. We're fucked.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>1409899
Look it's the limit.
Roll 2d100 to push it
>>
Rolled 40, 71 = 111 (2d100)
>>1409905
PUSH THIS FAGGOT DOWN
>>
Rolled 39, 93 = 132 (2d100)
>>1409905
This is for locking me out of Sidorovich!
>>
Rolled 53, 7 = 60 (2d100)
>>1409905
>>
>>1409908
Now roll 2d1000
>>
Rolled 97, 96 = 193 (2d100)
>>1409915
ROLL
>>
Rolled 877, 318 = 1195 (2d1000)
>>1409915
>>1409918
Wait no
>>
>>1409918
>>1409919
Clearly you can't count
>>
Rolled 192, 595 = 787 (2d1000)
>>1409915
>>
Rolled 619, 730 = 1349 (2d1000)
>>1409915
AAAAAAAAAAAA-
I saw that coming.
>>
Rolled 567, 479 = 1046 (2d1000)
>>1409915
>>
>>1409920
"Oh hey. Some slight movement"
Now roll 7d1000. If 6 of your rolls after the first one adds up higher than 5533 then you've done it. You can now run around the field.
>>
Rolled 957, 953, 780, 990, 395, 257, 438 = 4770 (7d1000)
>>1409939
WE GOT THE TOUCH
>>
Rolled 778, 753, 404, 315, 728, 159, 244 = 3381 (7d1000)
>>1409939
*Unintelligible screaming*
>>
>>
>>1409943
"Aaaalmossst there"
1720 left
Roll 3d1000
>>
Don't anybody else roll when we really need it.
>>
Rolled 254, 928, 123, 489, 394, 337, 110 = 2635 (7d1000)
>>1409939
>>
Rolled 590, 733, 543 = 1866 (3d1000)
>>1409955
>>
Rolled 991, 467, 833 = 2291 (3d1000)
>>1409955
>>
>>1409939
>5533/6
>922.16
dude what
>>
Rolled 698, 51, 470 = 1219 (3d1000)
>>1409955
I'm surprised we didn't just flat out fail it. Who am I to complain?
*Wheezing of desperation*
>>
>>1409961
420 left.
Roll 2d1000. Get the second number higher than 420
>>
Rolled 673, 488 = 1161 (2d1000)
>>1409972
Blaze it up.
>>
Rolled 495, 605 = 1100 (2d1000)
>>1409972
we are (not) a failure
>>
Rolled 551, 474 = 1025 (2d1000)
>>1409972
>>
>>1409974
"Good"
And so you ran.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>1409980
Gain so much speed we literally take off from the track.
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>1409980
DAAAAAAAAAYTOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAA
LET'S GO AWAY LET'S GO AWAY
>>
>>1409985
Let's fast forward this a bit
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>1409990
DAYTOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>1409990
Hit the pause button at a random moment to see what the screen stops at.
>>
>>1409980
and I raaan I ran both night an daaaay
couldn't get away
>>
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>1409991
>Ivan's losing it.
>>
>>1409991
Whoops. Fast forwarded too much/
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1410002
GAAH! Rewind!
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>1410002
no I didn't
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>1410002
Did we have any kids before we died?
>>
>>1410013
come on OP
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>1410013
Did they have any kids?
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>1410013
ok rewind
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>1410021
I expected nothing less.
Rewind, before I'm tempted to ask about their kids too.
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>1410021
Did those kids have kids?
>>
>>1410024
Surprisingly no
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>1410030
be kind and rewind
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>1410030Any pets?
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>1410030
Only because OP couldn't draw a smaller gravestone.
REWIND!
>>
>>1410030
>Burnt out after 3 generations
Or more like those kids are still alive r-right?
>>
>>1410036
Oh wait. now rewinded too far back
>>
>>1410053
Use the buffer!
>>
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>1410053
What were our ancestors doing at that time?
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>1410053
fine geez, let's go to Canon adventure 2, you win OP
>>
>>1410057
Prolly
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)
>>1410066
okay, now fast forward to the last day of training, OP so we can do the montage thing after
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>1410066
Oh shit, that's pretty cool.
Fast forward.
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>1410066
remaster that epic battle
>>
>>1410069
But you know what isn't cool? That 1.
>>
>>1410072
Pre order the KINGSLAYER ADVENTURES: REMASTERED EDITION NOW! ONLY 60$! PLUS SHIPPING.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>1410079
OP, come on
don't make us have to GAS GAS GAS you
fast forward to the last day of training for the week
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1410079
damn you jew nosed op
back to our regular scheduled training
>>
>>1410082
>>1410082
Right right right
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>1410083
Wait for it... Pause, now!
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>1410083
Okay, stop at the last day of training before the montage happens so we can speed this up
>>
>>1410088
Stopped at the point when Police Dad took Ogi out for ice cream as a treat and actually show some care towards her
"Waitaminute. You weren't supposed to see this!"
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>1410092
CHIEF?
WE'VE BEEN WORKING HARD FOR THIS
OP will try to damage control this as best he can
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1410092
aw. parental love
so cute
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1410092
Aww, he actually does love her! A little bit further of the fast forward.
>>
>>1410093
Shit, the image of an asshole uncaring dad is ruined. Unlesss....Gotta burn the tapes. Yes
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>1410096
Too late, I've made copies.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>1410096
Op sets his house on fire by mistake.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>1410096
But it's cute, OP
You can't burn it, we might not even buy the other adventures like Kingslayers remastered edition
you gotta appeal to the fanservice
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>1410096
inhale the fumes for its power op
become stronger yes..
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>1410104
it'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>1410104
aw shit
back to business then, OP
let's get that training done
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>1410104
Have the Dice God roll to put the fire out.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)
>>1410104
Nobody saw anything. Whistle a merry tune and stroll down the road to your backup house. Because you're a conniving Jew and never keep all your shekels in a vulnerable spot.
>>
>>1410107
How would this help I dunno
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>1410109
dice god casts water
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>1410109
ahahahaha
it'll be fine
put the tape back in so we can continue playing, OP
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>1410109
now play megaman
>>
>>1410111
Right...Where were we?
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>1410113
The part where we face you in a duel, Dad
get the staff out so we can beat him up
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>1410113
shooting roombas probably
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>1410113
final training day
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>1410113
Training, I think.
>>
>>1410118
"Ah yes of course. Now go fight the Super Roomba"
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>1410120
ENGAGE THAT SUPER ROOMBA IN CQC
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>1410120
isn't that defeats the point of roomba?
>>
>>
Rolled 30921 (1d100000)
>>1410121
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 97, 98 = 195 (2d100)
>>1410124
op as fuck confirmed
>>
Rolled 64, 26 = 90 (2d100)
>>1410124
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?
>>
Rolled 3, 27 = 30 (2d100)
>>1410124
stick fight
>>
>>1410125
The Super Rommba knocks you out.
Then it breaks into your room, hacking into your computer.
Then it deletes all your downloaded Episodes of Super Robot season 1 and 2.
THEN it uses your social media account to shitpost at the actors for Super Robot
THEN it poses as you and publicly declare that you hate giant robots.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>1410129
WHAT THE FUCK
GET FUCKING ANGRY
I WANNA TEAR THIS ROOMBA INTO PIECES!
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>1410132
NOW THAT'S JUST OVER THE LINE YOU LITTLE SHIT
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>1410129
wow go Super Ogi
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)
>>1410141
TRASH THIS ROOMBA
USE OUR SUPER MOVE
ULTRA PUNCH COMBO
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>1410141
fire shoulder rockets at point blank range
>>
>>1410143
Then the Roomba reveals it has wired Sidorovich with explosives.
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>1410145
pull his power cable outta wall
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>1410145
trick roomba to walk over carpet.
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>1410151
-BUT AT WHAT COST?!
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1410151
what's next Chief
am I close to graduating
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>1410151
thinking out of box skill acquired
now DELETE ALL THIS FAGGOT POSTED
>>
>>1410156
OGI'S A CHICK, AND SHE DIGS GAINT ROBOTS.
>>
>>1410154
"Are ya close? Reach inside this box that I'm holding over my crotch to find out"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>1410162
oh shit, it might actually be our diploma
reach into the box
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>1410162
Wait a minute... Didn't the Gaint Robot have a Dick Gun?
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>1410162
reach inside
>>
>>1410166
Prolly
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>1410170
just reach inside the box so we can finish training
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>1410173
is this our diploma?!?!
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>1410173
pull out?
>>
>>1410175
Dunno. But you can feel it as somehting long and hard,
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>1410179
pull it out
>>
>>1410179
Tell him if this is going where we think this is going we'll tell mom.
>>
>>1410179
it's probably a scroll
>>
>>1410180
Oh hey it's a tube with a cap
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>1410185
oh fuck
OPEN IT
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1410185
open it
>>
>>1410185
open it up
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1410185
Huh. Pop that cap off and see what is inside.
>>
>>1410189
>>1410188
>>1410187
>>1410186
Oh look a piecce of paper
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>1410190
read the piece of paper
inb4 ur a faget
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>1410190
unveil the paper
the tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife. But don't cut the paper, but the scissors down op
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>1410190
IT'S AN ANCIENT CHINESE SCROLL
>>
>>1410192
hrmrhmrhmrhmr fine.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>1410194
LET'S CONTINUE TRAINING
DO THE MONTAGE NOW
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>1410194
so what is left?
>>
Rolled 40, 86, 86, 3, 24, 68, 60, 77, 60, 23, 11, 92, 76, 92, 66, 61, 41, 36, 10, 1 = 1013 (20d100)
>>1410195
"VERY WELL. Time for your final montage....of fighting 20 of these training robots. This will coalesce all you've learned. Each one you defeat will give you a +1 to your bonus"
Roll 21d100. As always. the first roll is for pickings.
>>
Rolled 90, 59, 58, 76, 49, 73, 12, 50, 36, 24, 85, 53, 90, 70, 13, 24, 24, 84, 12, 52, 55 = 1089 (21d100)
>>1410198
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 55, 52, 59, 4, 39, 51, 64, 83, 33, 43, 78, 87, 43, 59, 50, 65, 56, 15, 43, 53, 94 = 1126 (21d100)
>>1410198
easy as drying fish
>>
Rolled 29, 78 = 107 (2d100)
>>1410198
>>
Rolled 25, 27, 71, 9, 44, 84, 96, 9, 29, 86, 67, 85, 56, 6, 21, 23, 76, 87, 30, 98, 85 = 1114 (21d100)
>>1410198
>>
>>1410200
You managed to defeat 8 out of the 20 and got +8 bonus
"ONLY 8?! SURELY YOU CAN DO BETTER!"
Would you like to roll to see how many retries you get?
Note that retry means your +8 will reset to 0 and will have to roll 21d100 again.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>1410207
WE WANNA DO FUCKING BETTER
+20 OR BUST
AGAIN
>>
Rolled 8, 52, 30, 18, 63, 27, 90, 62, 59, 79, 53, 29, 87, 1, 42, 27, 30, 36, 92, 48, 44 = 977 (21d100)
>>1410207
WE CAN DO BETTER, COACH
>>
>>1410211
or not
>>
Rolled 42, 68, 88, 60, 40, 82, 93, 20, 98, 12, 15, 18, 85, 54, 4, 16, 88, 10, 57, 70, 19 = 1039 (21d100)
>>1410207
>>
>>1410210
>>1410211
"alright. Now let's see how many time can you retry until you're stuck with whatever you win"
Roll 2d5. First roll is pickings. Second roll is your extra tries.
AFTER THATWait 30 minutes because I gotta go deliver something, don't go anywhaere
>>
Rolled 1, 4 = 5 (2d5)
>>1410216
GOING FOR 10 BABY
>>
Rolled 5, 2 = 7 (2d5)
>>1410216
>>
>>1410218
>only two tries
come on nigga
>>
Rolled 5, 3 = 8 (2d5)
>>1410216
I'm probably out after this one.
>>
>>1410219
getting tired of all this training any ways
>>
>>1410216
where's OP at
>>
hello
>>
>>1410228
dying from analysis bleeding
>>
>>1410229
finish training
>>
Rolled 7, 31, 36, 9, 45, 71, 1, 77, 33, 89, 37, 97, 57, 25, 81, 11, 42, 54, 77, 48 = 928 (20d100)
>>1410231
Roll 21d100
>>
Rolled 86, 53, 21, 41, 37, 82, 85, 94, 15, 55, 43, 54, 96, 85, 61, 29, 32, 9, 16, 51, 32 = 1077 (21d100)
>>1410232
>>
>>1410233
Got 11.
You ahve 1 more try/ Or do you wanna step away with a +11 bonus
>>
>>1410232
I think we might have it, roll wise
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>1410234
let's keep it, no more rolls
+11 is a good bonus
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>1410234
yeah we done
>>
>>1410236
>>1410238
But look at that delicious +20
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>1410239
NAY! I STEP AWAY YOU VILE TEMPTRESS!
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>1410239
WE CAN DO ITTTTTT
>>
>>1410240
Tweeennnntttyyyyyyy
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>1410242
I mean what can POSSIBLY go wrong?
>>
>>1410242
oooooOoooooOOooohhhh
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>1410246
No
no NO
>>
>>
Rolled 46, 66, 7, 18, 47, 87, 97, 13, 99, 80, 33, 10, 84, 92, 6, 12, 8, 9, 81, 80 = 975 (20d100)
>>1410245
kool
Roll 21d100
>>
Rolled 37, 65, 9, 57, 41, 20, 2, 41, 21, 74, 83, 23, 21, 35, 12, 80, 99, 80, 77, 93, 21 = 991 (21d100)
>>1410250
>>
>>
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1410253
>you like to annoy you fuck
you win the internethave a rock
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1410255
eat your rock shit rock
>>
>>1410256
defending rill wins
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1410256
I won't
have it back
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1410258
>>
>>1410254
AND ON THIS RETRY YOU GET YOUR FINAL NUMBER OF BONUS:
+9
>>
>>1410259
fuck I use my +90
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>1410260
can we have additional +1 for our dedication?and for round number, it'll be easier to count, think about it
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>1410260
good enough, just get us into a fucking mech fight already
>>
>>1410262
Ah. But you seem to have forgotten something.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>1410265
don't delay us any longer, OP
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>1410265
what in particular?
what is our total bonus?
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1410265
that we been knocked out this entire time and this was a huge waste of time?
>>
>>1410267
Scroll up. To like the start of training day.
>>
>>1410270
point
>>
>>1410271
we've been dead the whole time?
>>
>>1410272
No you retard. This.
Your total bonus is now 9+3 = 12
>>
>>1410274
Good. So now your training's donne. Everything's all nice and dandy. Thread has reached image limit so that's it for today. See ya next time.
updates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
lol
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>1410273
soooooo
we aren't dead?
>>
>>1410278
No, you retarded fagbutt.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>1410277
how about you start a new thread right now, OP
>>
>>1410280
With what, 3 fucking people?
>>
>>1410281
come on guys, show your love for OP
we wanna do the real robutt adventure
>>
>>1410279
y-you sure? I'm feeling dead
>>
>>1410282
Too late, everyone's dead and nobody's here. Next thread wheenever in a day or two.
>>
>>1410285
night op
>>
>>1410285
love you
>>
>>1410288
Yeah I love me too.
>>
>1043 posts
>27 posters
I love you OP.
Thread posts: 1046
Thread images: 251
Thread images: 251