Everyone is Bob

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One day While playing video games with octa and raven, a man comes through a portal saying he's you from the future and that he needs your help stopping robots that have taken over.

dice+1d20

>>1389209
You turn to Raven and Octa thinking to yourself man these shrooms are crazy good
*rubs eyes in disbelief

This is the gm, had to switch to phone .

I don't think you rolled correctly ^

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>1389209
>>1389219
Lets try again

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You laugh and make a drug joke "hehe these mushrooms are lit". He proceeds to smack you and says "I remember how stupid I was....before THE WAR!"

"LISTEN! I need your help, this isn't a joke, this isn't the drugs! That backpack, I...lost it...but tou still have the magicks!"

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>1389246
you distrust this man so you sneak out to kitchen were you have one axe and one raincoat.

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Bob goes into the kitchen and grabs hjs coat and axe "Dear lord, forgive me for what I must yabba dabba-doo."

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>1389246
"Whoa...what...lego-my-bago-bob'o!" you look closely at his face and then see the scar, you know it really is you. "How could you lose the bag!" you yell at your future self and smack him back

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"How could you loose my bag" you say, brandishing an axe.

"I didn't loose it, YOU lost it...in the war!....That's why I need your help, we need to go overthrow the robo-bot-borgs!"

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>1389279
"Well lets do this shit!" Raven and Octa looked startled at your outburst of enthusiasm

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You jump into the portal and what you see shocks you. You see.....?

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>1389442
a robot-lenin statue !!your country is now comunist¡¡

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>1389442
>The Grand Octopus, he has sage advice for me on this quest.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>1389442
Tiebreaker reroll

Rolled 12 (1d20)

a robot-hitler statue!! your country is now fascist!!

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>1389442
You see a tree with robo-bot-borgs lynced on every branch. Your in rebel territory.

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You see a statue of robo-bot-borg hitler, being guarded by two robo-bot-borgs, they see you and one starts charging a Lazer blast

Bte there are no rerolls, if there's a tie I choose the one I like the best

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>1389804
You rush at them with you axe in hand, yelling profanities

>>1389951
Seriously a 1.... *hangs head and sighs

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>natural 1

>unnaposed

You jump at the robo-bot-borg with your axe and kill him, but you also chip off your leg in the process. The other bob starts shooting at the other and yells "YOU HAVE THE BAG, USE IT , JUST LIKE I DID...BEFORE THE WAR!" Raven charges up a spell, and octa jus t stands there, you're starting to think bringing a regular octopus with you isn't the best idea.

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>1390090
Open bag

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>1390090
Pick up chipped leg and chuck it at other robo

>>1389195
But wait Naga Sake! Last time you tried to run this quest Octa was murdered by an unknown assailant! Who was the fiend responsible for our best friend's untimely death!?

>>1390462
That thread died quick. Idk, jt was a dream

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You open up yor bag, but what do you pull out (from now on just say what you pull out the first time)

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>1390894
Our dick.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>1390894
You pull out your sling shot

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You find your slingshot but by the time you pull it out the other robot is dead from future bob's shooting, and raven is left wirh a pre-charged spell. There are no other robots nearby and future bob says he wants to take you to the head of the rebellion, but the issue of your leg still remains, so what do you do abkut that?

Well I'm going to bed for tonight. Don't let this die while I sleep like I hope I do.

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>1391530
Pull magical duck tape out of bag. Fix leg.

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You pull out magical duct tape and tape your leg togeather... (continued in next post )

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Future bob takes the party to the rebellion hedqarters, a wrecked, abandined, futre version if your own apartment building, and takes you to the leader of the rebellion, you enter a room you've never been in and see a wall of computers, and in front of it is A tall imposing man holding a chainsaw-sword (this man is a filthy ginger, btw) and in front of him in a chair is a man with white-blonde hair.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>1393195
loot the room

>>1393195
"I have come here to destroy robot-bot-borgs and fuck bitches"

Rolled 17 (1d20)

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>1393204
"And I'm all outta bitches."
Pull sunglasses out of bag and equip them.

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"I'm here to kill robo-bot-borgs and fuck bitches" equips sunglasses "and I'm all out of bitches"

"YOU FUCKING NONCE!!!"Yells the redhed. The blonde looks back at him "shut up rudevald" he looks to you "lisyen bob, we need your help, that backpack of tord js yor most important wepon from.....before the war. See my problem is, I created these robots a long time ago to help himanity, but they went haywire and took over. There's a central server that controls all of them from one place. We need your help.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>1393292
demand more weapons

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Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>1393292
demand the red haired man fetch you a drinky-poo

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>1393335
This, also slap his ass as he's leaving.

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You demand more weapons

"YOU HAVE THE ULTAMATE WEAPON! The pack, man. Listen, we where gonna pair you with our best agent to sneak into their headquarters and get the location of the central server."

And thay agent is.... (?)

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Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>1393737
Special agent Jack Bauer

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>>1393737

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>1393737
"Da Terminator"

*duh-duh dun dun-dun*

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>1393737
Our future self of course. >>1393195
>this man is a filthy ginger, btw
Bwahahaha omg im dying

Any suggestions that are....good?

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>>1398632
>Paul Blart then

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>1398632
Remove coin from bag and flip it.
1 is ginger, 2 is white hair.

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>>1398651
BAUL PLART!

The white haired man asks if you have any questions before you leave.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>1398838
"Nah, I already know everything I need to know."

Talk to Octa and Raven, make sure they're okay with risking their lives on a dangerous mission that you're basically doing for fun.