DEXTERQUEST

File: DexCry.png (516KB, 493x516px) Image search: [Google]

516KB, 493x516px

It's a sunny Miami morning, you lie in your apartment, but need to go to work soon. The stiffy rising up at the mere thought of killing someone is now gone and you can start the day:

>What do you do?

I keep that boner down by eating a raw onion, gotta save that virility for the murder. The onion also acts as my breakfast

>>1371117
Good you are now full on the hunger meter, but your breath smells bad

>What do now?
(Also change your name to Dexter)

I put on my "incredibly susceptible to blood stains" white shirt and spray some axe body spray to represent the weapon I will use today
(I've never seen a single episode of Dexter in my life forgive me for factual inaccuracies)

I also wear my steel capped boots because safety first! I will allow my breath to smell, as opposed to neutral blending in, I will fend people of with my onion breath

>>1371127
(It's fine I'm having fun)
Your shirt can easily be your downfall as blood very easily contrasts it. However it does indeed provide some slight form of protection

I'd like to roll a perception check to see if I'm high level enough to unlock Dexter vision and find the criminals through any barrier

>>1371130
You naturally have instinctive killer senses and through reasoning and a bit of detective work you can easily spot any colleagues (killers)

Maybe go outside now?

I step out in to the world and make my way out on the town but I'll visit the boot of my car and check for something I might like to bring with me.
What's in my car boot/trunk

>>1371132
Items:
>Penis Pump
>Killing Knives Kit
>Blood Sampling Kit

Penis pump eh? I bet I could use that later, I take it with me and go the the central business district.

What are my options for a drink, criminals get thirsty like all men do

File: DexRlyNigga.png (244KB, 300x381px) Image search: [Google]

244KB, 300x381px

>>1371135
Miami's flourishing Cuban community offers Mojitos and other alcoholic cocktails that immigrants might cook up.

Ehh nobody will care if a Mexican immigrant goes missing so where's the fun-duh I mean justice in that?

Reroll me God, I wanna challenge. Though I will take a margherita for the road. Maybe another. Two more. Christ what bar is open at this time in the morning. 5th one then I'm on my way, where are all the rich "for funsies" murderers at?

>>1371138
Keep in Mind: You can kill innocents, but it will inflict Harry's Wrath on you which is a very serious debuff.

I suggest going to work (Bloodspatter analist at Miami Metro) and finding unsolved cases

I have a job?! Wish I knew that before I necked these drinks. I make my way to work and pray no one sees the imprint of a penis pump in my back pocket.
I go see my boss and tell him the Johnson case is solved. It was Mr peacock with the candlestick in the pantry.
I ask for a raise

>>1371141
>Work
Maria Laguerta: Boss
Batista: Sargent
Deborah: Detective, Sister
Nigger: Nigger
Masuka: Colleague, Blood Analyst

Keep in Mind:
>You are drunk
Roll for effect
0-4: No one notices
5-9: Batista notices
Dubs: Everyone notices and you slip

Shtick I got a 4 and a 6, if shit goes south I wanna place the penis pump on nigger and make everyone laugh at him, then I'll run to my station and find masuka

>>1371148
Batista notices
>"You alright Dexta? Seems like you had one too many befo woak.

>"I'm sorry sargent, I had a rough night, I watched the new attack on titan and it wasn't worth the wait at all. Hey I'm a lil out of it but I'm still good, which way is my work station?"

File: HappyMasuka.png (34KB, 357x268px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 357x268px

>>1371155
Batista grabs your shoulder to show compassion and points to a room with glass walls where you see thsi smiling motherfucker

I'll assume that's masuka, smug looking bastard. I suppose I can't kill him
>"what's with the shit eating grin?"

>>1371160
"Your sisiter's hot"

>"eat shit. What blood am I analysing today?"

Odds on me sucking the air out of his lungs with the penis pump? I will roll if I need to

(Forgive me if I fall asleep but I've been awake for a long time but I'd be back when I wake up, this is fun)

(don't know how this game works but want to keep the ball rolling)
odds for pumping masuka in his shit eating grin

>roll 0-4 pump lands perfectly on his mouth
>roll 5-9 pump lands on his dick
>dubs you immediately start pumping

I rolled a 3 and a 1

File: DexHopeless.png (379KB, 426x484px)

379KB, 426x484px

>>1371191
You put the pump squarely within his mouth and suck a gigantic succ out of his lungs. Not much internal damage, but Masuka starts coughing blood

>Also you "roll" by checking the last number on your post, not by dice

>>1371189
Change your name to a characater if you'd like: (Masuka, Deb, Batista, Laguerta I assume you've seen the show)

I pump even harder, I hope the pump stops him from screaming.
I knee him in the balls for good measure

>"Dexter what the freak are you doing!?!"

File: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.jpg (333KB, 1468x1468px) Image search: [Google]

333KB, 1468x1468px

Deb, roll for stopping Dexter
0-4 Stops Dexter
5-9 Fails and Dexter kills Masuka by succ
Dubs and you and Dexter have sex

Fuck 4
Can I use my charisma tof blame the alcohol and make him forgive me?
I'll find another way to kill him.
In fact whilwe you answer the above, whats in the room with me that's usable

>"deb it's nothing more than some friendly rough housing look he's having fun"

Rolled 16 (1d20)

Surprise mothafucka
Roll to grapple