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Anonymous
Real Robot Adventure, part 2 2017-04-10 07:22:35 Post No. 1354928
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Real Robot Adventure, part 2 2017-04-10 07:22:35 Post No. 1354928
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OH SHIT NIGGER you are Ogi - daughter of the Chief of Police. Pilot of a standard Police Mech that you named Sidorovich.
Currently you're on case involving taking down the city's largest criminal organization. Your latest lead being that a deal will happen down at the docks a day from now.
So now you've got a day to yourself before the mission starts. What do you do?
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>1354928
Polish your fist with your face
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)
Polish Sidorovich
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1354941
hum your favorite song while polishing
>>
>>1354944
[insert song here]
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>1354950
go visit your crack orc info guy when done. He will give some useful info on the guys who work at the dock.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>1354950
song inserted
>>
>>1354958
>orc
>info
>crack
shirley you must be jestin
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>1354970
ok fine
a crack goblin then?
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>1354970
nah, just keep polishing, look for missed spots.
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1354974
Roll 2d100 to look for missed spots
>>
Rolled 91, 33 = 124 (2d100)
>>1354975
Not on my watch!
>>
>>1354978
Ya missed a spot
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>1354982
I still have ways to go
polish dat spot.
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>1354985
Roll against the spot
>>
Rolled 63, 50 = 113 (2d100)
>>1354989
>>
>>1354990
"Drats, foiled again"
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>1354995
with Sidorovich nicely polished, we can go on a stroll around hangar.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
Oh shit its time.
>>1354995
Shoot that run away grime out of the sky.
>>
>>1354998
Strolling through the hangar
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>1355005
check out armor
>>
>>1355005
peek into div.2
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>1355005
Say hello to mom and see how she is doing in Div 2.
>>
>>1355008
The door's locked. You don't ahve the right keycard to get in.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>1355021
check div.2 then
>>
>>1355023
The door's locked. You don't have the right keycard to get in.
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>1355028
hacker skill go!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>1355028
knock
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1355028
Knock, of course.
>>
>>1355030
The skill's locked. You don't have the right keycard to use it.
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>1355037
knock
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>1355037
fine fuck
grow a penis for all I care
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>1355037
Again, knock.
>>
>>1355042
>>1355046
Your hand's locked. You don't have the right keycard to use it
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>1355048
JOHNSON IS THAT YOU?
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>1355048
Johnson, when did you become so meta?
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>1355048
goddamn it johnson
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>1355048
that doesn't even makes sense
>>
>>1355053
"Your logic's locked. You don't have the right keycard to make any sense"
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>1355058
Shake him, shake him like child who deserves the SIDs bit is too stubborn.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>1355058
Take the door to Division 2 from Johnson.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>1355058
Bored again, Johnson?
>>
>>1355064
Too slow
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1355076
JOHNSON!
oh hey a vending machine
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>1355076
get back here, you bastard
>>
>>1355081
yoink
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)
>>1355094
give chase
he can't win again
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>1355094
GIVE MAN VIDEOGAMES
he has gone nuts
>>
>>1355102
"Yeah I could go for some nuts."
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>1355105
you are bad at this flirting thing, Johnson
If you wanted my attention you could just start talking about giant robots
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1355105
he distracted throw the book at him, the law book
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>1355118
what do you want Johnson
>>
>>1355122
"Nothing. This is what I do with my spare time when I'm not working. Plus running around carrying a vending machine is good exercise"
>>
>>1355133
Whoops
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>1355139
where is the vending machine?
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>1355154
teach him building plastic models
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>1355156
I don't need to do anything, but I'm with this anon.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>1355156
"What, like action figures?"
Roll 2d100 to teach him
>>
Rolled 37, 38 = 75 (2d100)
>>1355162
We'll make a weeb outta you yet Johnson
>>
Rolled 76, 80 = 156 (2d100)
>>1355162
No, they are quite different.
[one explaining later]
See now?
>>
Rolled 71, 91 = 162 (2d100)
>>1355162
It is time to bust out the First Grade 1/144 Sidorovich and begin BONDING and LEARNING time.
>>
>>1355168
Technically he could do model cars, battleships, and fighter craft as well.
>>
>>1355169
"Yes I see....You can't play with your models. Gotchu"
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>1355185
Technically you can, but they you should be careful if you do. Infact lets go to the totally convent virtual model kit fighting table that totally isn't based on something from Gundam Build Fighters, right over there.
>>
>>1355192
*convenient
>>
>>1355192
"Yes let us commence with this activity that's totally not a rip off of anything "
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>1355197
nigga, you can get the day out of enjoyment out of like 10$ kit.just forget how much costs all art supplies for comfortable modeling tho
>>
>>1355198
"Yeah whatever. NOW DRAW YOUR MOSNTER CARD--oh wait sorry, wrong rip off. I mean...ahem...activate your virtual model or whatever"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>1355202
Time to get out our overly detailed 1/144 Real Grade Sidorovich with an inner frame that is weaker than we would have wanted it to be.
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>1355202
Prototype model of never developed PETROVICH MK III 1/100 Sensei Grade
HERE WE GOOOO
>>
>>1355208
Holy shit, Anon. Johnson has a First Grade (Baby's First Gunpla) model, we'll wreck his shit.
>>
>>1355211
I'm still salty about that door.
>>
>>1355208
"I'm sensing an unfair advantage"
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>1355220
Tell him we're sorry, it was the only one we had on us right now besides the one he has. We'll boost the negative handicap on us to even it out as reasonably as possible.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>1355220
Fine, geez
switch to similar to Johnson power level model, but at least use something from other model series
Let's go with [MYSTERY BOX]
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>1355220
un fair means complete equal in fun terms right
>>
>>1355223
"But all I have is Police Siren Bot"
>>
>>1355229
Where did the Sidorovich you just had go?
>>
>>1355232
"In a bulletproof glass case so I can stare and admire it at my leisure"
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1355233
wuss
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>1355233
PS Bot is cute, make it new mascot
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>1355233
Oh, that makes sense. Wait, where did you get Police Siren Bot then? Also we should call Better Daughter over, she's a big NEEEEEEEEERD for this kind of stuff. She probably has every model every made hidden away somewhere.
>>
>>1355237
You're gonna ahve to take it up with the chief for that
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>1355245
use your sidorovich model ya wuss
or do you afraid to lose to a girl?
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>1355245
get ready
BATTOL! <that's japanese for battle>
>>
>>1355245
Attach Dad-stache to it for later, right now we have to figure out what to do with Johnson not having a ridiculously over powered Children's Toy that hooks into a special game table for virtual fighting. Quick, search through the extremely limited default model data already in the system.
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>1355250
Shit, my dice.
>>
>>1355248
"I don't even care if I'm fighting an armless baby that's both deaf and blind. This is my first model and Imma keep it safe and clean"
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)
>>1355253
fine geez.
let's go on plamo building spree
>>
>>
>>1355255
"What, you don't wanna fight no more?"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>1355253
wuuusssss
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>1355262
Check the internal memory on the dueling table for its extremely limited collection of pre-loaded, yet acceptable model data for use by extremely poor people who can't afford plastic toys.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>1355262
okay, use police bot CUSTOM
one with red shoulder
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>1355276
PETROVICH KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKU
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>1355276
poink
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>1355276
Knell down to stare at it, menacely, only for it to upper cut us.
>>
>>1355278
Leg Broken
>>
>>1355290
>menacely
*menacingly
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>1355291
the fuck
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>1355291
HOLY SHIT ITS A DIECAST MODEL, OH SHIT. Stab it with the sword!
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>1355291
what you put in this bot! Robot kyptonite?
>>
>>1355294
"Well. Since I only got one model. I borrowed this one from your sister"
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>1355302
My sensei grade...
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>1355302
use your own next time you cheating putz!
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>1355302
DAMN, THAT MODELING NEEEEEEEEERD AND HER LIMITED EDITION DIECAST MODELS.
>>
>>1355304
[miniturized police siren]
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)
>>1355310
I won't forget that, Johnson
[Ogi will remember this]
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)
>>1355310
Use the virtual self destruct system that lights up the entire room and blows out all the windows when you do it.
>>
>>1355317
Gotta crank up the graphics for this one.
If you can't see it, it means your eyes are not on the max settings
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>1355321
I see it
good thing I have the best
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>1355321
Damn, my poor cost effective eyes can't see it. Now we wait for dad to come and lose his shit because we did "it" again.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>1355321
fucking modern videogames man
so powerhungry
I miss the days when all you needed is just 486 and VGA display
>>
>>1355330
right, it's all about graphics no substance.
>>
>>1355330
"Pffft. You kids and your video games. back in my day we had to actually beat people for our entertainment. I can still see it. Saturday night, summertime, the humid air, the sounds of fists meeting face, the crunching of bones, the cracking of skulls against the curb....good times"
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>1355340
we should make PS Bot the new mascot for the police force.
Help our image.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>1355340
no one is interested in your early boxing days in college, daad.also I know that you did nothing of those things, let me remind you of your precious tank plastic model collection
>>
>Rolled 100
Oh, okay.
>>
>>1355342
"Photoshop bot?"
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>1355347
YES! YOU ARE SO SMART DAD
>>
>>1355348
"What about it?"
>>
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>1355350
nothing.
what are you doing here anyway?
leave me alone with my sadness
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>1355350
What do you think about good ol' Police Siren Bot being our mascot?
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1355350
well I thought it would help our image with the locals if we had a friendly mascot
>>
>>1355353
"Sadness? What is it this time?"
>>
>>1355365
where we're these magnificent rolls when I was clackie. Damn you dice god, because of you he's dead!
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>1355361
muh senseeei graade petrooovich loost
>>
>>1355365
"So?"
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1355378
it make me feel better, common!
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)
>>1355378
Citizens seems to be afraid of police. We need to have nicer image
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>1355378
Well, my sister's Police Siren Bot just kicked my overly designed Petrovich Mark 3. -and it spontaneously grew a dad-stache just a few seconds ago for some reason. Can he have it as our mascot?
>>
>>1355380
contemplative police dad
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>1355384
push harder
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>1355384
nah, let's just rebuild petrovich
>>
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>1355387
pull his mustache
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>1355387
harder
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>1355392
color his mustache
>>
>>1355395
"Now that's where I gotta stop ya"
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>1355399
start coloring the entire quest
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>1355399
damnit all, well what do you say to my idea
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>1355399
go and rebuild petrovich
>>
>>1355402
Now that's where I gotta stop ya
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>1355408
oh shit
let's go rebuild our gunpla then
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>1355408
is it tomorrow yet
>>
>>1355408
go tell other sister that giving diecast to Johnson won't win her any points
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>1355417
repair robot that broke in battle
>>
>>1355418
What robot. You blew it up with the self destruct
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>1355419
cry
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>1355419
ah well theb build better robot, with better ness than sister's robot.
name it ... Vumpknot
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>1355419
Time to start on the the VUMPKNOT MK IV "COSMO PACK" 1/60 Daishogun Grade! -and to include diecast parts and more durable plastic.
>>
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>1355427
Roll 2d100 for it
>>
Rolled 97, 54 = 151 (2d100)
>>1355432
>>
Rolled 35, 84 = 119 (2d100)
>>1355432
oh shit
>>
Rolled 23, 78 = 101 (2d100)
>>1355432
>>
>>1355433
Well that was a failure
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)
>>1355437
Try again, we have to prove this to ourselves.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>1355439
Then roll again
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>1355437
NEVER GIVE UP
One more try
>>
Rolled 68, 13 = 81 (2d100)
>>1355441
rolling
>>
Rolled 76, 78 = 154 (2d100)
>>1355441
AGAIN
>>
>>1355444
almost
>>
>>1355443
>>1355444
The stench of failure reeks from you
>>
Rolled 44, 19 = 63 (2d100)
>>1355441
Wait, you mean like this, correct?
>>
Rolled 11, 46 = 57 (2d100)
>>1355441
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>1355446
spend rest of the day improving your plamo building skill
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>1355446
Mom descends from Real Robot Heaven, aka Div 2, to tell us we're never a failure to her. Cry anyway from sheer disappointment, regardless.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>1355449
Roll 2d100 to see if it works or not
>>
Rolled 67, 59 = 126 (2d100)
>>1355452
>>
Rolled 58, 62 = 120 (2d100)
>>1355452
>>
Rolled 34, 12 = 46 (2d100)
>>1355452
>>
>>1355453
An hour passes. You got a bit better at building them models
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>1355457
Oh shit, They made smaller, android Sidoroviches while we were busy using up our free time. Lets go check them out.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>1355457
Place a sign on the back of our dad
"I smell. Kick me!"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1355457
Gloat about it in front of Better Sister
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>1355461
is he double jointed?! what the shit. go to bed I can't handle creepy dad
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>1355461
Surprise Orc riote- I mean "protesters" outside the precinct.
>>
>>1355463
eh same thing and I'm an orc. Orc black Friday is just an orgy.
>>
>>1355463
"Go quiet down those proesters, would you?" said Dad
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>1355466
but I'm on a break
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>1355466
Orcs! Orcs!
What's your beef?
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>1355466
I don't know, Dad. They seem kinda... Kinda angry, and there's a whole lot of them.
>>
>>1355468
"WE ORCS DINDU NUFFIN"
"WE GOOD BOIS"
"WE ONLY WANT TO PILLAGE AND MURDER IN PEACE"
"YOU ARE ALL RACISTS"
>>
>>1355471
you can't have pillage and murder with peace. what the fuck is wrong with you?!
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>1355471
use water gun on nearby mech
don't want to use Sidorovich for this filth
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>1355473
What this anon said.
>>
>>1355475
"RACISSSSST"
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>1355479
double amount of water
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>1355479
add German shepherds in to the mix
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>1355486
orc like water
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>1355486
lovely weather we are having
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>1355486
Now set the water on fire as well.
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>1355486
Watch out for that Orc bring you!
>>
>>1355488
"Indeed"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>1355491
I think I saw some of them resisting. Double the intensity
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>1355491
Oh shit, one of them is immune to being hosed and is slowly walking to us, charging through the
water!
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1355491
this should clean up these orcs up
>>
>>1355494
"That cleaned up the orcs. Now I'm gonna clean up the streets"
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>1355499
You can't do that Johnson! Dirty Orc blood will get everywhere and that's unacceptable.
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>1355499
Go on the internet and post a wanted poster for a sidekick
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>1355499
Get out our handy dandy pom poms and cheer for him as he goes off to rid this city of criminal scum!
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>1355499
JOHNSON WAIT!
saftey is on.
>>
>>1355503
The rest of the police still wonder why do you have those in your pockets.
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>1355508
For times like this, of course.
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>1355508
good for dusting
>>
>>1355509
"alright then"
"AHA! FOOLISH HUMAN SCUM! YOU'RE OUTTA AMMO AND I'M THE LAST ONE STANDING! PREPARE TO FACE DA MIGHT OF DA OR--"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>1355508
OH SHIT, THE SPLATTER'S GONNA HIT SIDOROVICH!
BLOCK IT
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>1355519
aw jon son you got blood on your gun
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>1355519
Proclaim love for orcs
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>1355519
Tell Johnson he did an amazing job.
>>
>>1355522
"It's okay. It has a self destruct mode"
>>
>>1355533
good job Johnson you get a pat on the back
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>1355533
Tell Johnson he did an amazing job.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>1355533
Where's your Orc cousin, Orcson?
>>
>>1355535
"This calls for a celebratory donut"
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>1355540
Who the fuck is that?
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>1355540
what the hell is that!
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>1355540
TACTICAL ROOMBA, ENGAGE BULLET TIME SAVE MODE.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>1355546
Seriously though what the fuck was that thing?
>>
>>1355549
"What thing"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>1355552
that thing that was next to you 2 secs ago
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>1355552
Close your eyes, maybe it'll appear again
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>1355552
OH SHIT ITS THE VENGEFUL SPIRIT OF THE ORCS, WE'VE GAINED NEWTYPE COP POWERS.
>>
>>1355557
"Man I dunno what you're talking about but sure. I'll humor ya."
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>1355562
Look for the abomination
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>1355562
now close our eyes
>>
>>1355563
What abomination
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>1355568
That thing which was in front of Johnson a while ago, stop playing dumb you
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>1355568
the one that is fading into existence!
>>
>>1355568
don't you fools see it?!
>>
>>1355569
I have no idea what you're talking about
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>1355575
Hold a donut in front of Johnson's face to make the thing appear
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>1355577
This.
>>
>>1355577
Futile effort
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>1355579
Ask the OP just what that was.
>>
>>1355582
Whatchu talkin about willis
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>1355579
now further to the right
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>1355584
hold the donut up again but further to the right, between where Johnson and Op us right now.
>>
File: Explain yourself, OP.png (22KB, 500x500px) Image search:
[Google]
22KB, 500x500px
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>1355584
OP, explain this.
>>
>>1355586
What are you even doing
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>1355588
I'm srs, OP. What is that?
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>1355588
further upward
>>
>>1355590
we bout to find out nigga!
>>
>>1355591
>>1355590
What is what
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>1355594
Alright, smash that goodamned donut against the space we seen that thing in.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>1355594
LOWER LOWER
>>
>>1355595
THe donut sails in the air, towards the promised land
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>1355597
Johnson, incase you've been marked for death. We love you. As a good friend who's like family, of course.
>>
>>1355599
"Yeah sure, whatever. Even though I have no idea what you're talking about. But okay"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>1355601
You're haunted by a donut abomination.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>1355601
it's pretty bad dude
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>1355601
Since we probably aren't going to get much out of OP until, well, whenever OP decided to do something about that...
OP make Johnson grow a Dad-Stache for like, a single image.
>>
>>1355605
Now why would you want that
>>
>>1355608
The day still isn't over, and I'm not ready to go back to building model kits.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>1355608
my god, are you an illegitimate son of dad?
>>
>>1355610
"Now you're jsut being silly"
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>1355612
rebuild Petrovich
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>1355614
Rebuild Petrovich, you say? So Petrovich is now... Rebuild of Petrovich 3.0?
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1355614
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>1355626
[INSERT HOPELESS EFFORTS HERE.]
>>
Rolled 12, 46 = 58 (2d100)
>>1355629
I mean [INSERT HOPELESS EFFORTS HERE].
>>
Rolled 44, 93 = 137 (2d100)
>>1355620
Rebuild of Petrovich 3.0 : You are (not) a failure
>>1355626
rolling
>>
>>
>>1355632
Because life sucks
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>1355638
so is dice god
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>1355644
Fuck rebuilding, let's get some more donuts. Jelly filled donuts.
>>
>>1355644
go polish sidorovichwith your tears
>>
>>1355648
Yeah. We sure love dem PURE AMERICAN JELLY FILLED DONUTS
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>1355655
aw yis
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1355655
shut up and eat your burgers, Johnson
>>
>>1355658
"Ah Ogi. Enjoying your JELLY DONUT aren't you. I'll just enjoy my AMERICAN HAMBURGER then"
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>1355666
now I really wonder what lawyers look in this particular universe.
Do you recall your friend Wrong from high school?
>>
>>1355668
"All lawyers look like this anyway"
Dad shows you a super accurate depiction of a lawyer
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1355670
that's a goblin?
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>1355670
What about YOUR lawyer?
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>1355670
dad, just cause your brother is that weird prosecutor you shouldn't be so prejudgmental about lawyers
>>
>>1355675
"Your uncle is a damned hellspawn and so is the rest of em!"
Dad is still salty about that time he got hit with a misconduct charge.
They took away his margarita machine for a year.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>1355676
Code red: Orc riots in the southern block
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>1355676
You have like five of those anyway
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>1355680
Code red: Orc riots in the eastern block
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>1355680
Code blue: Elf riots in the northern block
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>1355680
Code Blue: Orc Riots in the western block.
>>
>>1355682
"Wait. Elves? The fuck would they be rioting about?"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>1355685
they feel insecure towards orc riots and wanted to try rioting themselves.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>1355685
Maybe they've joined forces with the orcs against the humens.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>1355685
being elves
>>
>>1355687
MEANWHILE, AT THE ELVEN RIOT
"WHAT ARE YOU EVEN PROTESTING"
"We're not sure, actually"
"Everybody else seems to be doing it"
"Yeah, so we though we'd join in"
"We're dirty rotten bandwagoners"
>>
>>1355690
Code green: Goblin riots in the eastern block.
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>1355690
Flash to an Elf helping an old lady get safely across the street, further proving their superiority to those dirty Orcs.
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>1355690
use police force to guide two riots into each other
also bring some popcorn
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>1355690
Code green: Goblin protests at western block
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>135569
>>1355690
forgot roll
>>
>>1355692
FLAAAASSSSHBAAACK
"Gee, thanks youngster. For helping accross that road"
"NO PROBLEMS, MA'AM"
"You sure are superior to those damn dirty Orcs!"
"AW SHUCKS, MA'AM. THANKS"
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>1355700
Okay, now for Code Green in the weastern block.
>>
>>1355702
"Why the hella re there so many riots today?"
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>1355709
sumthing gon 'rong
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>1355709
It was election day and the human supremacist mayor was elected again
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>1355709
-because we're the protagonist, dad. -and nothing else of importance to the plot is happening until tomorrow, so the Anons are having fun. Just ask OP.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>1355709
elves are have a gay orgie in the streets! Oh lord they are raping old people too!
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>1355720
elves are protesting with some kind of hippie chant
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>1355720
Oh god that abomination ate OP!
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>1355720
The elves are protesting extremely peacefully, and aren't actively trying to keep people from carrying out their day to day activities.
Also, so that's what that is. Its OP's pet Flesh Eater that he hides in sometimes.
>>
>>1355721
"AAAAAAANNNNNNDDDD IIIIII WILLLL ALLLLWAAAYYYYS LOOOVEEEEE YOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1355728
Silence them with extreme prejudice
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>1355728
my god, they are using gay songs! HOSE'EM
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>1355728
what was green alarm for anyway
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>1355728
Oh they're just fine, better go check on the Orcs.
>>
>>1355734
"Wow, I can't believe a gang of Barbarians just ran by and killed all those orcs"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>1355738
Code yellow, barbarian riots in the eastern block?
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>1355738
then fucked the elves
it's a good day
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>1355738
We should ask the Mayor to offer those Barbarians the key to the city, or atleast some well deserved rewards.
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>1355738
seems reasonable for me tho.
orcs were always wusses
>>
>>1355743
MEANWHILE, AT THE MAYOR'S OFFICE
"And that's why you should reward the Barbarians, sir"
"Yes, yes. Interesting proposal. I'll think about it and get back to you as soon as possible"
He never mentions it ever again
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>1355748
orcs crying in the streets, DINNIDU! DINNIDU!
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>1355748
>that familiar face
figures
secretary is cute tho
so green alarm was about barbarians?
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>1355748
Hey dad have you ever done something illegal?
>>
>>1355751
"Wait, what's that sound?"
"Those are the sounds of the orcs crying about how they dindu nuffin sir. Do not believe their lies"
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>1355760
love love orcchan for ever!
>>
>>1355762
"Love Love Orc Chan?....The hell is that?"
"A cum guzzling slut, sir"
"wait what"
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>1355765
back to police department
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1355765
Fuck you barb Love-Love Orc-Chan is pure
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>1355765
You heard her, Love Love Orc-Chan is a almighty-damned slut!
>>
>>1355769
"You heard that right, sir. Love Love Orc Chan is nothing but a two dollar whore who sleeps with crusty fat old men for fame and money."
"You sound oddly invested in whatever the fuck we're talking about here"
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>1355773
Looks like she speaks from experience am I right?
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>1355773
Yes, back the police department.
>>
>>1355774
"LOVE LOVE ORC CHAN IS THE TYPE OF BITCH THAT RUIN OTHER PEOPLE'S CHANCES OF MAKING IT BIG, EVEN THOUGH THEY PRACTICED. AND PRACTICED. AND PRACTICED FOR MONTHS ON END. BUT BECAUSE THE WHORE SLEPT WITH THE PRODUCER, EVERYONE ELSE GETS LEFT IN THE DUST....sir"
"whaaaaat"
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>1355783
OKAY, OKAY. BACK TO THE POLICE OFFICER.
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>1355783
I thought Love-Love Barb-Chan was just as popular as Orc-Chan
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>1355783
>being mayor secretary
come on, it's not that bad.
Idols die off in few years usually anyway, you got steady very respectable job and income
>>
>>1355787
"HAHA. What a story, Mark. Anyway, how's your sex life?"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>1355793
Holy shit is this Mark a descendant of Mark from orc bouncer?
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>1355793
Why I am hearing this conversation again?
>>
>>1355798
"Because you will never wash off the stain of defeat and failure"
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)
>>1355793
I feel as if we've had our fun for the day. Time to begin winding down so we can get to the illegal weapons operation.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>1355800
Ugh dad have you been drinking rum again? Your breath smells
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1355800
You never build plastic models yourself dad, you won't be able to do it better than me anyway
>>
>>1355803
"You joshin' with me, kiddo?"
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>1355800
We'll just see about that, you overly smug wearing, majestic stache growing bastard. Time to begin winding down for the day, for the Illegal Weapons Operation tomorrow.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>1355805
Can I have my shirt pocket back, er, I mean, get promoted?
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>1355805
prove it, old fart.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>1355805
Oh look work day is done time to return to our shitty apartment
>>
>>1355814
"You escaped an asswhopin' this time, Ogi. But next time you won't be so lucky"
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)
>>1355819
Yea sure dad. Let's go to the grocery store before we go home
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1355819
>implying your shitty tank models need any actual skill to make.
whatever old far, tank chassis is dead now.
>>
>>1355821
While you head for the Grocery store, your mech, Sidorovich, thinks about robot things
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>1355829
Buy bread and milk and oil for Sidorovich
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>1355829
Buy 20 pounds of protein whey.
GOTTA EAT BIG TO GET BIG CMON
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>1355829
lewd
>>
>>1355831
Now. which brand
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>1355836
Bing oil, duh. Dick's oil is lube
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>1355836
Supa Robo one, powered with finest sideburns
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>1355836
Does Bing oil come with a pimpin hat?
If so that one.
>>
>>1355839
Oh yeah. Buy Five and get a hat as a prize
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>1355842
Oh what the fuck again
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>1355842
Do it. Get 5 cans to obtain pimpin hat. Also don't look behind you.
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>1355842
...Gotta say, our ass is lookin' fine, outside of the feeling of something eldritch following our every step.
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>1355842
Have OP fist fight his own Meta-Monster, and yeah buy five so we have them if we need them later and also get the hat.
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>1355849
someone is tired and seeing inner demons
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>1355849
Check Sidorovich's camera footage
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>1355849
Take 5 cans of oil, as well as milk and bread.
>>
>>1355851
"No you're not. Don't be ridiculous. Now buy 5 cans of me so you can win a hat, woohoohoo"
>>
>>
>>1355855
"Will that be cash or credit?"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>1355859
do you have a brother in police force?
cash
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>1355859
What the hell Jenkins? Why are you working at this grocery store?
>>
>>1355861
"Ssssh. I'm undercover"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>1355865
Shouldn't you have a disguise then? Well whatever, cash it is
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>1355865
gimme discount
>>
>>1355870
"Now miss. I can't just give you a discount like that. You'll have to first get a membership card"
"Ey Bob, we still up for cards tonight?"
"Just like every other Thursday, Fred"
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>1355872
Well, since you're under the covers, did you see anything suspious? And I'll pay by card.
>>
>>1355873
"I have no idea what you're talking about, miss. But that'll be 40 dollars"
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1355872
Pay with check.
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>1355876
man this is getting trippy
better check at hospital your overall conditionthanks for bread I'm off for today
>>
>>1355878
"Yeah, you go do that"
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>1355876
Also, will I get the free hat for buying five cans of oil?
>>
>>1355880
Obtain hat and put it on our mech.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>1355880
Go home and take some pills
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>1355880
after I get a hat
>>
>>1355884
"Alright here you go. A hat keychain"
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>1355885
Request a giant robot-sized hat instead.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>1355885
pretty cute
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>1355885
Isn't this false advertising? The sign said that five cans of Bing Oil gives a free hat, not a hat-themed keychain.
Infact, why is there a oil brand based on someone who died and was hardly ever known? Something feels off about all of this...
>>
>>1355889
"Alright. Thank you for your patronage. Bye"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>1355894
back to home
in apartment building next to hangar
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>1355894
Go home while thinking about stuff
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>1355894
Randomly look up into the sky while walking home to see the ghostly image of legendary ace mech pilot, Officer Not!Amuro, and remember he was our hero growing up. We have to prove to father we aren't a failure, we have to beat this criminal organization.
>>
>>1355896
Ah yes. Home sweet home.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>1355903
Wheres our roommate
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>1355903
Shit, did we make sure to take our medication? Or is that another illusion that we're having?
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>1355903
That's it, OP. I've had enough of this things' shit. We're punching it in the goddamned fa- Does it have a face? Punch it where we THINK its face would be.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>1355903
not enough mecha posters, something is not right
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>1355903
Your elf boyfriend jump in front of you and giving you a flower.
>>
>>1355910
"Because this is the shared living room, not your own room, goddamnit"
Your roommate says. Your roommate WHO IS A:
Roll 2d100 for it, second roll for results:
1: Delusion from your broken psyche
2-30: Some elf
31-60: Some barbarian
61-80: Some guy
81-100: Another cop
>>
Rolled 30, 54 = 84 (2d100)
>>1355917
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>1355917
it's Johnson's sister
>>
Rolled 32, 79 = 111 (2d100)
>>1355917
YEAAAAAAAAAAAART! (To assist the roll.)
>>
Rolled 17, 86 = 103 (2d100)
>>1355917
>no orc option
You make me sad
>>
>>1355924
NO WAY. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAY.
>>
>>1355924
oh shit
double rolls
>>
>>1355931
Because an orc sidekick called Roborc would be cool
>>
>>1355934
We don't negoiate with orcs, we don't hang out with orc. Hell, outside of having to do so in order to enforce police brutality, we don't even look at orcs in a friendly manner.
So why the fuck would we have a orc roommate?
>>
>>1355924
Ah yes. Of course. Your room mate, Johnson's sister, Joanna
>>1355934
*an orc sidekick would be gay
Fixed that for you
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>1355940
Joanna, we got your brother building model kits like you told us not to.
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>1355940
oh come on, few wouldn't hurt.
I understand that you are from Tank Police division, but still no need to be this hostile towards robots.
or you are still mad that I spilled coffee on your tank catalog?
>>
>>
>>1355945
I vote for ignoring this roll cause it involves orcs.
who with me
and it doesn't involve tank polce.
>>
>>1355945
The barbarian fairy appears in front of anon
"Nah. They're more like a pile of shit than a pile of coal"
The barbarian fairy leaves and ends this non-canon discussion
>>
>>1355951
The barbarian fairy was too fast for the captcha
>>
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>1355951
Orcs being shit non-canon confirmed
>>
>>1355951
OP is Love Love Orc-chan an Orc Idol or a Magical Orc Girl. In last few years it has become harder and harder for me to tell between the two visually when they're in outfits.
>>
>>1355958
"Yes I am still mad. That was a limited edition you division one dipstick"
>>1355956
The discussion whether should Ogi have an Orc room mate is non-canon.
The shittiness still canon though.
>>1355957
Yes
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>1355962
come on, don't be like that.
I'll share some oil with you, and this keychain.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>1355962
Anyway, do you want this keychain? I ended up getting it instead of a actual hat over at the grocery store.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>1355962
Contruct a device to travel into an alternative reality where orcs arent shit
>>
>>1355967
"Oh, that oil cans for a hat promotion thing. I think they gave you the keychain because they ran outta hats. Big bro got the very last one, see, he sent me a pic"
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>1355970
Damnit, Johnson. Alteast he looks good in it.
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>1355970
Eh, it wasn't as good as I hoped anyway
too big
suits your brother tho
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)
>>1355970
Why is he not wearing pants?
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>1355970
I wouldn't be surprised if he wears it at work tomorrow...
Now, can you excuse me? I need to lie down due to horrible, horrible thoughts about orcs not being shit polluting my mind. That, and I think some kind of beast is stalking me.
>>
>>1355974
"Indeed he doesssss.....Anyway what's for dinner"
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>1355980
Smoked meat with rice and vegetables
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)
>>1355980
Oh, right. We do most the cooking, how do you like- HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT?!
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>1355980smells like brocon
good old pasta, with fresh tomatoes
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>1355988
I think I need a vacation
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>1355988
Eat up and ask Joanna to be our gf at the dinner table
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>1355988
Well, try to get through dinner, possibly shower, and then get ready for bed,
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>1355993
I'm ready to take this relationship to the next level
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>1355993
I'm sorry. There's like 30 voices going through my head telling me what to do, I really need some rest.
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1355993
I, uh, I meant 'good friend', when I said gf. I really need a rest.
>>
>>1355999
"Alrighty then"
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1356007
Just fuckbuddies is fine too desu
>>
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>1356012
Looks like she's too pure. No matter, she'll break eventually
>>
>>1356016
"Pfft, sure fag"
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>1356012
I'm not going to break his 95, but I'm going to try and tell her its the over bearing and obnoxious voice that thinks orcs are cool, and it must be stopped.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>1356021
We'll see, later
>>
>>1356028
"lol sure fag"
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1356021
Leave her to herself, as we head to our own room. Our mind ain't right.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>1356031
Is that supposed to scare me? We ate smoked orc for dinner you dumb creature
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>1356031
You don't scare us anymore, ya BETA bastard.
>>
>>1356036
"What creature"
>>
>>
>>1356043
Yes. Your pills.
One bottle contains pills that will purge all dumbass thoughts from your mind. Especially those relating to orcs.
One bottle calms your psyche
One bottle is just candy
Now if only the labels haven't fallen off
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>1356050
Eat a couple of pills from all of the jars
>>
>>1356050
Ask the Not!BETA who's probably right beside us right now if he turn to look if it knows.
>>
>>1356055
Oh hey sleepy time
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>1356056
Forgot my dice.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>1356057
Dream of Joanna
>>
Great, he killed Ogi. He tried to make gay, and now he's killed her.
>>
>>1356060
*her gay
>>
>>1356060
I thought you niggas wanted a girl love interest
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1356064
Hope to Mech God, sub-conciously, Joanna found us and got us to a doctor.
>>
>>
>>1356067
"Why? You're just asleep"
>>
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>1356069
Mech God, do you know anything about the Not!BETAs we keep seeing?
>>
>>1356071
"Nah that'd be dumb, bye"
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>1356074
But this is our dream, why couldn't we summon dream-Sidorovich?
>>
>>1356075
Because of the pills you took, stupid
>>
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>1356077
Have a terrible nightmare about orcs.
>>
>>1356078
Well I'm still shipping OgiJoanna
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>1356084
Dream of donuts. But theyre woman-eating donuts.
>>
>>1356088
Nah that'd be dumb
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>1356090
Go towards Barad Dur
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>1356090
Walk towards the tower. But weird because we're in a dream.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1356101
Continue but don't drop the one ring
>>
>>1356102
Nah that's too dangerous. Let's head over here instead
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>1356111
Buy grape flavor icecream
>>
>>1356113
And since nobody else is active. Thread is now on hold.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>1356114
Am I not good enough for you OP? Do I not satisfy you?! I thought we had something real!
>>
>>1356116
Yes
>>
>>1356120
Oh good
>>
I'm here right now.
>>
>>1356133
2late
>>
I was going to go to bed, but then I got hungry. Now I have rice.
>>
>>1356156
aight
>>
OP abandoned us to go eat his dog
>>
>>1356275
like he a did with the Orcs?
>>
>>1356792
It was delicious
>>
Ice Cream consumption continues
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>1357075
since we're in a dream, why don't we imagine up a naked male of some kind
maybe a naked elf
>>
>>1357095
Nah that'd be dumb
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
Wait, what is that mysterious creature inside the ice cream stand?
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>1357097
what about if Sidorovich was a Real Boy (tm)?
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>1357104
Let's use that question mark to strangle our worst fear.
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1357104
How about we dream up an exit, so we can wake the fuck up
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>1357104
You know, if your mech Sidorovich was in the form of a human male around your age?
This is why you're not Best Daughter, you lack imagination!
>>
>>1357112
So Elise she has an imagination? Or was Elise New Daughter? In which case, pun fail.
>>
>>1357114
What, robots can't have imagination? Das racist!
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
Claw your way awake now that you've found the exit, and hope you're not ... sleep walking.
>>
>>1357116
You are now awake
>>
Why'd they leave! *tear
Didn't they know with three people we could have kept going. *pain
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>1357126
Oh good. Now that we're awake we should call the station to see if we missed any major crimes!
>>
>>1357132
*click*
"Hello"
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>1357137
wasssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1357137
Start the conversation casually with a prank call. You know, something light like, 'you're wife is dead.'
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>1357137
"How's your sex life?"
>>
>>1357141
"The ceiling"
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>1357146
are you sure?
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>1357146
Don't you get smart with me! Now, gimme the coldest case you can find. And I mean police case not a literal case that is cold!
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>1357146
Listen, we say while wearing the thumb hat, I want to know. NEED to know. Did I miss any major CRIMES while I was gone?
(I'm not smart so I must speak obviously.)
>>
>>1357154
"Yeah.. I'm sure"
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>1357160
when you last time checked?
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>1357159
This again.
>>
>>1357162
"When was the the last time you checked"
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1357166
I'm looking at it right now
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
I shoot the last roll down to a 1 and we finally ask about the crimes
>>
>>1357169
"Then what are you asking me for"
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>1357179
Turn on the television while I'm talking on the phone to see the news.
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>1357179
time filler while I eat my breakfast
which is pizza.
breakfast of champions.
while you are not eating one
anyway
will be over at office soon
bye
>>
>>1357182
"A fire broke out last night down in the Orc ghetto. It burned down at least 10 houses"
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>1357193
meh. usual stuff
switch to robot cartoons
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>1357193
Looks like a quiet night. Let's find out if our butch yet oddly straight roommate is still home.
We're a girl so we can do multiple things while pretending to hold a meaningful conversation on the phone to the chagrin of whatever male is suffering on the other end.
>>
>>1357194
"Join me. And we can rule the galaxy"
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>1357204
>Write a letter to the cartoons producer asking to join them in ruling the galaxy. Then leave a voice mail telling dad we quit, we've found a better gig.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1357204
hell yeah, now we are talking,
It's your favorite Supa Robo Days!
The reason you became a cop!
>>
>>1357212
Oh hey it's the last episode
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>1357228
>The T.V. suddenly catches on fire.
(Nice draw OP)
>>
>>1357231
Why would it do that. THat'd be dumb
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>1357228
Aw yeah, that's the best one!
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>1357240
Finish watching cartoon and go to work all hyped upisn't super robot pilot dreamy?
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>1357240
Dumb, but devastating. Sometimes you have to roll against your best interests.
>Suddenly remember that we're still on the phone, and make up a crime to report while enjoying the show.
>>
>>1357249
"Uh huh. Sure. An army of mutated lizards is rampaging through your room right now. Sure, got it, yeah"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>1357261good thing you can't read newspaper thru telephone
No lizards here. Anyway time for work
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>1357261
Just as we were making up a crime, something even more bizarre than our story was happening for real.
>>
>>1357266
K'rrtarr'k, ancient space dwelling being, flies by Earth and drops off some muffins onto the Artic region. Then it leaves.
>>
>>1357284
Hahaha
Thanks for the good time OP & other player.
I gotta go cause it's super late here. Timezone strikes again!
Have fun guys, I pray you many players and good times.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>1357284
>muffins
>not donuts
onto space crusade we go! In few hundred of years after science development.
time to go to work
>>
>>1357284
K'rrtarr'k seems like an alright ancient space dwelling being. Inb4themuffinsaremuffinsofpower.
Anyway, OP is it morning yet?
>>
>>1357295
Going to work
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>1357303
should we wait for more players or just keep going?
I hope we are not late for operation
>>
>>1357303
You ahve arrived at the station
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>1357307
time for morning ambush operation at dockswe are last to arrive on briefing
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1357307
We arrive to find Tactical Roomba has been further improved with the addition of yet another gun, who could have possibly done this?
>>
>>1357309
"...Right. That's the end of the briefing, any questions?"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>1357317
Do I get to punch giant robots in the face with Sidorovich?
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>1357317
Will there be refreshments?
>>
>>1357322
"For the last time, yes. They're on that table next to the door"
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>1357329
aw yeah, lemonade!
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>1357329
A another random officer asks if he can use the bathroom. Again.
>>
>>1357330
"Anyway. You all know your missions. Go get ready. We'll bust those scum."
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>1357336
Have our actually pretty cool sister, Better Daughter quickly give us the run down as we are getting ready, since we were late.
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>1357336
will I get to punch giant robots iwith Sidorovich?
>>
>>1357344
Oh... That's just sad.
>>
>>1357347
"Yes you w---Waitaminute...Ogi. You're late"
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1357350
no, I've been here for whole time
Johnson will confirm, right Johnson?
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>1357350
I know. I don't understand how, I left my house on time. Possible flashback to what made us late.
>>
>>1357355
Oh hey, its just the other guy and me again. Hello, other guy.
>>
>>1357355
"Uhhh"
AND NOW. Why would Johnson help you? What can you use to appeal to him in order to get him on your side?
>>
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>1357360
Giving him an giant donut that is filled with vanillia cream and covered with chocolate.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>1357360
The fact we're bash buddies who regularly work together and seem to do pretty well together.
>>
>>1357363
He already posted himself wearing that hat on FaceBot though.
>>
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>1357373
Roll 2d100 to convince him
Appealing to those two things gets you a +10 bonus
>>
Rolled 62, 83 = 145 (2d100)
>>1357377
Rolling
>>
>>1357379
"Uh, yeah. She's been here this whole time, Chief. She just, uh, sat in your blind spot"
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1357383
so yeah, back to giant robot punching business then
>>
>>1357387
"As I already said. The robots will be hidden inside a tanker. While non-pilot officers will go undercover and stake out the place. When the deal goes down, we'll get em"
>>
>>1357392
gorchu senpai
proceed to board Sidorovich cockpit then
>>
>>1357396
And so you did. But then you realize the thread is dead.
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>1357398
it sadly is
save game, let's continue few days later
hopefully.
>>
>>1357398
Yeah save game and continue in 8 hours when I'm awake.
>>
>>1357398
Agreed. Save game for the night, we're not here.
>>
You are now inside the cockpit
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>1362072
order a pizzawith pineapples on it
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>1362072
Lounge music
>>
>>1362081
>pineapples
The absolute madman
>>
>>1362081
>Pineapples
Patrician taste.
>>
>>1362081
PIzza delivered
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>1362093
Remove pineapples from the pizza and then eat the pizza
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>1362093
NO
WHAT IS THIS RUBBISH
DEMAND REFUND
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>1362093
Let go to the mission location, Fib the 13th is one of our undercover cop who smoke a lot.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>1362093
Does Johnson like pineapple pizza?
>>
>>1362098
"What's the problem?"
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>1362109
"You work at the pizza place too?"
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>1362109
shove pineapple into his mask
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>1362109
Pineapples don't belong on a pizza. Report this to the police.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>1362109
sir I asked for
PINE APPLE
NOT PINEAPPLE
>>
>>1362110
"I have a post in the Police Station's Kitchen. THat's where this pizza came from. Your Order Pizza button connects straight into it."
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>1362123
you put actual pineapples on the pizza, you didn't cut it up
demand a refund
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>1362123
police kitchen sucks balls
demand meat
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)
>>1362123
activate mech
>>
>>1362125
"That's because you asked for pineapples and not Pineapple slices"
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>1362123
If we have a kitchen why do I have to go buy my own lunch?
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>1362134
activate muh mech
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>1362134
well, come to sidorovich and cut the pineapples for me then, this is unacceptable
>>
>>1362139
"You buy your own lunch?"
"We just thought you didn't like the cooking"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>1362150
What else does the kitchen offer? Got any chicken tenders in there?
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1362150
what an idiot!
activate missiles
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>1362150
cause you put pineapples in EVERYTHING
you mad people
>>
>>
>>1362156
"You don't ahve any missiles"
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>1362166
how many screens do I have!
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>1362166
fine geez, when I get to punch giant robots?
chew pizza
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>1362166
Launch the pizza!
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1362176
This.
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>1362182
Expertly shoot the pineapples into slices as it flies.
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>1362182
now roll out
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>1362182
cut to pineapple explosion of Orc city block
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>1362182
Who did we hit? Hopefully some pesky orcs.
>>
>>1362190
>>1362186
"Boy, I sure love living. And not dying"
"Ye-"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>1362204
Firing that pizza sure made me hungry. How about we order some good pizza now, without any pineapples.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>1362204
they survived but become the italian orcs
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>1362204
oh the horrible taste of humanity!
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1362204
Suddenly, you notice that thing standing outside Sidorovich again.
>>
>>1362208
I honestly wish this one would have beat mine.
>>
>>1362212
What thing
>>
>>1362215
you shouldn't have rolled
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>1362217
the masked man
the guy who gave you pizza
>>
>>1362218
I shouldn't have been born, either. But we don't always get what we wish for, do we?
>>
>>1362222
Check 'em.
>>
>>1362219
Ah yes, Jenkins.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>1362228
he looks... different
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)
>>1362228
Jenkins you're a cool dude. Maybe you can teach me the basics of CQC sometime.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>1362228
What are you doing here, Jenkins?
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>1362228
color his mask pink and green like the vision in comic books
>>
>>1362237
But that means you'll ahve to get out of Sidorovich
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>1362243
Activate Mech then color the mask with Sidorovich's hands
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>1362243
nah, no point then
onto the mission we go!
turn on some elevator music
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1362243
Whatevs. Flip off some Orcs as we go on to our mission.
>>
>>1362247
"Alright. You know the plan. Pilots! Move your mechs into the container and prepare for ambush"
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>1362255
Make sure to bring your lucky #2 pencil with you.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>1362255
you do that, whilemoonwalking
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1362255
Oh shit bitch how have I missed all of thread two.
Make OP pause to give a one word recap
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>1362255
run ahead to be first in line
>>
>>1362263
This entire thread we've accomplished nothing, if that lends any brevity to it.
>>
>>1362267
Sounds exactly like thread 1 for most of it lol
>>
>>1362261
"Get ready to move out"
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>1362269
Write a poem about pizza.
>>
>>1362268
Is own partner johnson still alive?
>>
>>
>>1362279
The post was late
>>
>>1362273
Nice roll.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>1362273
Roll 2d100 to write a poem a bout pizza
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>1362280
No excuses! Down with OP!
>>
Rolled 6, 43 = 49 (2d100)
>>1362285
pepperoni master race
>>
Rolled 54, 51 = 105 (2d100)
>>1362285
Let's write good poem about pizzas.
>>
Rolled 59, 99 = 158 (2d100)
>>1362285
Roses are red
The Orcs I beat turn blue
I really like Pizza
But cut the pineapples, too.
>>
Rolled 9, 84 = 93 (2d100)
>>1362285
my ode to pizza
oh ye pizza how you make Italians
smell less bad, now the orcs are sad
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1362299
Publish it as soon as we can.
Also let's get ready for the ambush.
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>1362299
wow they teach cursive in vietnam?
Op impresses me more and more.
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>1362299
>post it online on our cop blog
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>1362299
Ask Johnson what he thinks of our ability in poetry.
>>
>>1362309
Joh faces a moral dilema
>>1362305
It's actually the (expected) default handwriting style. They teach that stuff since preschool
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>1362317
Remind Johnson the basics of close quarters combat.
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>1362317
compiment
I must know what that means
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>1362317
Get sad because his silence means he clearly doesn't like it.
>>
>>1362317
wow, and here in the states it's no longer going to be taught because we text so much.
>>
>>1362320
"I like pi"
>>1362322
RIP
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>1362317
Change topic to going on a mission
>>
>>1362322
What part of the states do you live in? My little brother is 5 and they're already teaching them cursive.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>1362323
Johnson out of me and my sisters, who do you think is the prettiest?
>>
>>1362326
west coast
but I only heard this on the news and passing rumors.
I guess we coddle children too much, or we just don't teach the best way.
>>
>>1362327
"Can I use...uh...a lifeline"
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>1362335
calls old orc friend that he is ashamed of
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>1362335
no
>>
>>1362337
OOOOOH SHIT
>>
>>1362332
Ah. I live in central U.S., but I agree with what you're saying.
>>
>>1362340
I thought you were in russia
>>
>>1362337
"Oh hey Johnson"
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>1362344
wh-what should I say Love Love Orc-chan?
>>
>>1362343
Wrong guy.
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>1362344
ask for love adviceshe is his EX btw
>>
>>1362348
damn
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>1362344
I don't remember when we found out about orc friend. Are we sure this isn't orcgirlfriend?
>>
>>1362343
I'm not RANGER. Or Ksen, if you know him by that.
>>
>>1362343that's meI also known asSolidRock Solid
>>
>>1362356
I heard he is a great guy
>>
>>1362361
I heard he gets your favorite character killed in the quests you play. Or loses your brain to a mad scientist.
Just messing. The picture with Richard getting sliced in half was pretty funny. Almost worth it.
>>
File: Blofelds_cat_FRWL.jpg (192KB, 1440x900px) Image search:
[Google]
192KB, 1440x900px
>>1362357
Well well well
mister solid....
you found my ray that will turn America against your Russian Leader with real news....
and now you are slowly being dipped into my vat of acid sharks...
any last words?
>>
>>1362350
"DELET THIS"
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>1362367
also ... Johnson IS HALF ORC!
>>
>>1362366
"you're waifu a shit"
>>1362368
"Now that's jsut stupid"
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>1362370
Answer the question, Johnson. It's rude to keep a lady waiting!
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)
>>1362370
Say hello to your exgirlfriend son
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>1362370
search your feelings and your make up kit, you know it be true!
>>
File: 1487842320867.png (10KB, 500x500px) Image search:
[Google]
10KB, 500x500px
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>1362365
It's the best thing from that adventure as far I'm concerned.
>>1362366
>any last words?
ya wuss, can't handle real fight via rock throwing?WUSSSS
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>1362370
Johnson gathers his composure and stares her down like a boss. She swoons.
>>
>>1362370
lol Johnson got GREEND
>>
>>1362376
"Nah, that's pretty stupid. Orcs are gay"
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1362384
You're a great friend Johnson.
But answer the fucking question.
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>1362384
Orcs are all homosexuals
how do they even manage to reproduce?
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1362384
bit Johnson the reason we broke up was because your gay
>>
>>1362384
Johnson promptly hangs up the phone and suggests that everyone dance.
>>
>>1362387
"what question? I don't know what you're talking about. What are we even doing? Oh hey yes, mission. RReturn to that, yes"
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>1362393
Right yes the mission. What was the mission again. Something about gang activity?
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>1362393
Tell the girl on the other side that Johnson got beat up by a group of three six-year-olds after he tried and failed to steal candy from a baby.
Then return to the mission and act like nothing happened.
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>1362393
WUSS
>>
>>1362395
"Yes. A deal's going down. Time to don my dock worker disguise. I'm going down there. Will signal when it's time"
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>1362405
get to rondevu point
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>1362405
be careful out there, YA WUSSassuming direct control over Johnson?
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>1362405
Lets choose our equipment now
>>
>>1362408
orcs aren't known for their spelling, thanks
>>
>>1362408
Right. While the undercover cops stake out the place. You wait inside the Red Container for their signal
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>1362415
RED MEANS IT'S IMPORTANT!
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>1362415
Remember the time when you painted Sidorovich red, and then got scolded because of that.
>>
>>1362417
Well dats 'cause da red wuns go fasts!
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>1362415
Scout out the area and find safe passage over to red base
>>
>>1362421
Wait are we already in the red base?
Pass the time by playing jacks with Johnson
>>
>>1362419
three times faster to be precise
>>
>>1362421
We're supposed to stay inside the crate. Might not wanna do that.
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
Play some Solitaire
>>
>>1362417
FLAAAASSSHBAAACK
"I'm putting you in the corner"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>1362429
man, sidorovich in red looked cool though
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>1362429
but daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad
it looks so cool
I even gave him a horn!
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1362429
We are having a flashback. Tell dad about our current mission. See if we can change the time line to have a better advantage for the situation we are in.
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>1362429
This is why mom killed herself to escape you!
>>
>>1362436
she is alive, stop killing her offscreen
>>
>>1362433
"It's not even red. You gave it a weird shade of pink or something. TO THE CORNER WITH YOU"
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>1362443
>red goes faster, mom would understand
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>1362443
well shiiiieeeet
hey plot is happening
>>
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>1362443
Fastforward flashback year in future where you painted Sidorovich gold and gave it sunglasses as well as yourself.
also you had cool jacket
>>
>>1362443
Fuck you, OP. We never chose for that to happen to Dick.
>>
>>1362449
he's dead son
we must move on
I had too with clackie
now I'm reaping the punishment for it
>>
>>1362445
MEANWHILE
Shen and Johnson have discovered 2 black suited suspicious characters overlooking a crate.Somebody just rang the doorbell, brb
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>1362457
Continue plot
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>1362457
Knock them out and take their clothes as disguises
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>1362457
>IT'S A TRAP QM. FLEE OUT THE WINDOW AND CALL FOR THE COP MECHS
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>1362457
is this a cutscene?
>>
>>1362456
It hurts. It hurts so much.
>>
>>1362466
Think so. I really need to learn to start condensing my posts down so they're fewer.
>>
>>1362458
"Ah yes, the package have finally arrive"
"Help me open this to check"
>>1362466
Pretty much
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>1362473
What's inside the package?
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>1362473
watch out for QTEs anyway
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>1362473
Stay still and quiet and wait.
>>
>>1362475
QTEs?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>1362473
Throw something behind them to distract the men in suits
>>
>>1362477
it's a thing which can happen
>>
>>1362475
"Ah yes. Military-grade weapons."
"This should interest those dumbass gangs"
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>1362480
they said it! move move move!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>1362480
How did they get their hands on this stuff?!
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>1362480
keep waiting for signal
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>1362480
Use a laser pointer to distract the guards
>>
>>1362487
they said the goods, and who they plan to sell it too, that's our confession
>>
>>1362481
Shen starts the countdown. When it ends. It's the signal for you to spring into action. Alongside the other mechs, burst out of the container and block all their exits
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>1362490
Unleash the tactical roomba and open fire!!
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>1362490
HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ROCK ON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KV0-hQQbEkg
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>1362490
Leap out of the container and land on one of the gang members.
>>
>>1362493
You don't ahve a tactical roomba
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>1362497
shit count down is almost up
>>
>>1362497
A man can dream.... That thing has gotten more guns as time goes on.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>1362497
PIERCE THRU CONTAINER AS SOON COUNTDOWN IS UP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBKhqPwbxCg
>>
>>1362498
"Alright. Let's pack this up and move it to the warehouse"
"You sure we're safe? I got a funny feeling in my guts the cops are here"
"Pfft, you're just being paranoid. 'sides, if they were here we got protection of our own"
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>1362503
They are talking about condoms. They are no match for us. You wouldn't know how to use those anyway Johnson
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)
>>1362503
just don't pay attention to this suspiciously red container
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>1362503
JUSTICE ARRIVES ACCORDING TO SCHEDULE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtBi5dHAejM
>>
>>1362505
"You know. That red container over there is miiighty suspicious"
"How so?"
"It's the only colored thing among this place of black and white"
"Getting meta is dangerous. They're supposed to imagine that everything is actually colored"
"Now you're getting meta"
"Shut up"
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>1362509
1 more second..
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>1362509
2.....1... META THIS PEWPEWPEW!
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>1362509
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xSGFgGiumM
GO GO GO
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>1362509
They are breaking the 4th wall. Call in knock off deadpool. Unalive-waterbin for backup.
>>
>>1362511
>>1362514
"wait. What's that rumbling sound?"
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>1362521
what is?
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>1362521
BGM ACTIVATED
AMBUSH LAUNCHED
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaJw6lqGFew
>>
>>1362521
**smoke grenades roll out**
The assault begins. Johnson is still eating a donut in one hand while firing with the other
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>1362524
>>
>>1362523
"Ah shit. The cops"
"CALL IN THOSE OTHER FUCKERS ALREADY"
"Oh yeah, right"
One of the criminals pushes a button on his phone
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>1362529
kick that guy who pushed button
>>
>>1362531
Then something shoots at Sidorovich foot
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>1362533
aquiring target
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>1362533
YEA, ROBOT PUNCHING TIME!
>>
>>1362534
DUN DUN
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)
>>1362539
Shield up. Close the distance. They've got ranged weapons. We'll have the advantage up close.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>1362539
RETURN FIRE
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>1362541
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 80, 38 = 118 (2d100)
>>1362546
[insert sassy one liner here]
>>
>>1362548
fug
>>
Rolled 60, 4 = 64 (2d100)
>>1362546
Let me show you homos how it's done.
>>
>>1362551
And I eat my words.
>>
Rolled 5, 37 = 42 (2d100)
>>1362546
>>
>>1362548
Your one-liner is interrupted by enemy fire. You're being pushed back!
Luckily Niu was behind you and blocked you form being pushed back further.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>1362556
ask Niu to toss yourself at the enemy
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>1362556
Shoot out a smoke screen to block their line of sight, then split of from Niu and flank them from either side.
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>1362557
PRESS O FOR AN ALL OUT ATTAC---ahem, I mean roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 39, 82 = 121 (2d100)
>>1362560
I am too tired to make a witty comment for this.
>>
Rolled 97, 8 = 105 (2d100)
>>1362560
JET STREAM ATTACK
>>
Rolled 36, 14 = 50 (2d100)
>>1362560
O
>>
Rolled 7436 (1d10000)
>>1362562
BRUH
>>
>>1362562
As expected from Jet Stream Attack honestly
I'm not even mad.
>>
>>1362562
shiiiiiit
>>
>>1362564
this is why I wait for the first roll honestly.
>>
Rolled 80, 75 = 155 (2d100)
>>1362560
If, by some miracle, I roll the one hundred you have to take it.
>>
>>
>>1362562
As you fly through the air...one of the enemy mechs picks up a container and blocks you with it.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)
>>1362572
Shake your fist in the air
"But remember. One day, Jet Stream Attack will succeed!"
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>1362572
Chop it in half and falcon punch his ass.
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>1362573
>
>>1362574
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 16, 55 = 71 (2d100)
>>1362577
HADOOUKEN!
>>
Rolled 35, 54 = 89 (2d100)
>>1362577
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jj_0dyCpM4
>>
>>
>>1362582
nah, it's Bob from neighborhood got costume from his tabletop game WarDrill 60k and goes out creeping people out.
He always was weird.
>>
>>
>>1362584
>WarDrill 60k
This is now the new name for the game.
>>
>>1362581
>>1362582
The explanation for them is much more mundane and meta
>>
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Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>1362590
CLEAVE AND SMITE
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>1362590
Use the cargo crate on our arm to smack another mech.
>The explanation for them is much more mundane and meta
I don't doubt it. I'm surprised there even is an explanation.
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>1362592
Roll 2d100
Oh and since it's already been too long, here is the reason for them:They're what I draw on the canvas while waiting for replies when the thread was slow. Usually i delete it when a new action wins, but I left that one in because I thought it looked funny
>>
>>1362595
Best one so far was the one that had two mouths with the "UR A FAGET" sign being held out. The "UR A FAGET" thing gets me every time, even when I expect. I didn't even realize how far back it went until I read the Dickass Thief.
>>
>>1362595
Whoops, forgot pic.
>>
Rolled 9, 5 = 14 (2d100)
>>1362595
>>
>>1362599
You're not having much luck with your rolls, are you?
>>
>>1362601
I'm used to that
>>
>>1362584
>WarDrill 60k
That can't possibly exist. I mean, that would mean that the PLOT ADVANCED.
>>
>>1362600
The second enemy is knocked over for Miu to deal with. Now you can go 1v1 with the one you punched.
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>1362605
rockem sockem style of the northstar!
>>
>>1362606
HA! hopefully this will end with this guy's head as the 6!
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>1362605
Go full Type Zero on its ass and stab it in the chest with Sidorovich's hand.
>>
>>
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1362606
Roll 2d100 To knock his block off
>>
Rolled 44, 63 = 107 (2d100)
>>1362611
let's go mother fucker!
>>
Rolled 70, 56 = 126 (2d100)
>>1362611
ROBOT PUNCHING IS A GREAT STRESS RELIEVER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hbb3cNho5E
>>
Rolled 55, 74 = 129 (2d100)
>>1362611
FER THA EMPRAH.
>>
>>1362613
The other guy agrees
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>1362616
Muh pretty Sidorovich's face!
GET ANGRY
NO ONE HURTS SIDOROVICH
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>1362616
ok execute Robo.fu.exe
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>1362616
Empty our gun's mag into him at point blank.
>>
>>1362616
Any other stuff you draw just for kicks, OP?
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>1362618
Roll 2d100 to roundhouse kick the bastard
>>1362620
Yes, but they're all gone when my hard drive died a few months back
>>
Rolled 12, 32 = 44 (2d100)
>>1362621
SIDOROVICH KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKU
SHOUT NOW
>>
Rolled 11, 30 = 41 (2d100)
>>1362621
Life is cruel. So many keks never to be had.
>>
Rolled 44, 24 = 68 (2d100)
>>1362621
>>
>>1362627
That pilot surely doesn't messing around
>>
Rolled 36, 31 = 67 (2d100)
>>1362621
Am I late?
>>
>>1362629
Nearly, but with that roll it doesn't even matter.
>>
>>1362627
what are the actual odds though. it's 1/100 every roll, so no matter what op rolls it's always a 1/100 equal chance. Even when op rolls high the chances don't change do they?
>>
>>1362631
If he rolls a 75 we have a 1 in 4 chance of beating us. I took statistics in HS and I don't remember the actual way to calculate it but if we roll four times, one for each of us, we have something like a 1 in 1.75 chance of beating him.
Basically, we're just getting really unlucky.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>1362625
OH SHIT HE BLOCKED IT AND IS GOING TO PUNCH YOUR LEG IN THE JOINT! IF HE SUCCEEDS YOUR LEG WILL BE BROKEN!
Roll 2d100 for defense
>>
Rolled 23, 85 = 108 (2d100)
>>1362633
>>
>>1362634
Nobody roll.
>>
Rolled 21, 95 = 116 (2d100)
>>1362633
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART!!
>>
Rolled 89, 71 = 160 (2d100)
>>1362633
You dodge and recognize that move.it's your EX
>>
>>1362632
but that 1 and 4 chance is from a 1out of a 100 roll right? I'm really bad at math so I don't know if you calculate the 100 sided die here.
>>
>>1362637
The deepest lore.
>>
>>1362635
they gonna do it, it's what makes the game kinda exciting and annoying too.
>>
>>1362638
You don't have to factor in the 100. It just represents a chance overall. If he rolled a 47, you could take it in terms of 0.47 if you wanted, so long as you matched the value for our rolls. It's less about the amount and more about how high or low the amount is comparatively.
>>
>>1362637
"Uh no. You've clearly have mistaken"
>>
>>1362642
Then again, it's been a while since I did anything with statistics, so you probably should take what I say with a grain of salt.
>>
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>>1362642
what if I just get a gold die, gold is lucky right?
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>1362643
Tom?! you fuck is that you!?
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>1362643
The call of mech battles was too much for you wasn't it? You always were an adrenaline jockey.
>>
>>1362646
"TOM?! I don't know who this Tom you speak of...But he sounds incredibly handsome"
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1362643
You still owe me twenty bux, you sucker
That's your new part time, huh? I guess that dropping out from police academy didn't do you any good.
Proceed with asswhooping
>>
>>1362651
"SO?! SO WHAT IF I JOINED "THUGS FOR HIRE?! IT'S AN ACCEPTABLE CAREER PATH FOR AN ADRENALINE JUNKIE LIKE ME, OKAY?! WHAT ARE YOU, MY MOTHER?!...I uh mean...that's what I would ahve said if I was this Tom you speak of. But I'm not."
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>1362655
in the name of the LAW, I am bring you down!
SPRAY AND PRAY
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>1362655
Kick his junk
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>1362655
And that's why I left you. Because your're a bitch.
Once again, sucker punch him while he's distracted.
>>
>>1362656
bringing*
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>1362656
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 29, 6 = 35 (2d100)
>>1362660
hate to admit but this guy knows my moves way too well
>>
Rolled 29, 2 = 31 (2d100)
>>1362660
>>
>>1362660
Finally I've caught up with the story
>>
>>1362663
roll a 2d100 nigga
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>1362661
HO DODGES! AND HE ATTEMPTS A FLYING KNEE TO SIDOROVICHs FACE!
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 80, 67 = 147 (2d100)
>>1362665
NOT SO FAST
I'LL ALSO HAVE YOU TO PAY FOR EVERY DAMAGE YOU DO TO MY SIDOROVICH
>>
Rolled 21, 94 = 115 (2d100)
>>1362665
>>
Rolled 50, 58 = 108 (2d100)
>>1362665
*teleports behind you*
>>
>>1362666
Blocked
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>1362671
come on, let's kick this gespent wannabe's ass already
do recently learned attack after the breakup :HEADBUTT
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>1362673
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>1362671
Activate the super secret attack function we installed while no one was looking or were busy doing other things andShining Fingerhim.
>>
Rolled 44, 38 = 82 (2d100)
>>1362674
Okay this is happening.
>>
Rolled 32, 54 = 86 (2d100)
>>1362674
ORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
Rolled 96, 30 = 126 (2d100)
>>1362674
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>1362676
KLANG!
HE'LL STRIKE BACK!
ROLL 1D100
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>1362680
rolling 1D100?
>>
Rolled 72, 96 = 168 (2d100)
>>1362680
or 2d100?
Also call his mom and tell what her son is doing.
>>
>>1362681
Yes. I'll jsut pick the highest one and use that for results too. I'm feeling abit generous
>>
>>1362683
yeah
generous
right
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>1362680
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>1362680
>>
He's giving us a hard time because he's our Ex, and he was clearly one of the better Mech pilots at the academy.
>>
>>1362681
Shieet
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>1362688
GET UP
REMEMBER YOUR TRAINING
TEAR HIS ARMS OFF
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>1362688
Try to get back up, if we're down that is.
Then activate BUSKHA MODE-O (Shining Mode), which does nothing but make Spov glow annoyingly and blindingly.
>>
>>1362689
fuck you too, dice god
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>1362688
counter
connection error
>>
>>1362690
>Spov
*Sido
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>1362691
>>1362692
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 92, 28 = 120 (2d100)
>>1362694
>>
Rolled 40, 67 = 107 (2d100)
>>1362694
no he doesn't
>>
Rolled 57, 2 = 59 (2d100)
>>1362694
>>
>>1362695
I've doomed us.
>>
>>1362695
TRIED TO COUNTER!
AD GOT A KICK TO THE CAMERA HEAD UNIT FOR YOUR TROUBLES.
HE BROKE THE CAMERA! NOW YOU DON'T HAVE VISUALS!
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>1362700
use your training feel his presence. kick him in the bolts and nuts
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>1362700
Have us have Asuka's hair and his mech have an MP Eva head for a single image while's we're trying to recover from this beat down, just to show the ass beating we're taking.
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>1362700
open cockpit's window too see AND KEEP FIGHTING ENRAGED
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>1362705
now go full rebuild on him and shit all over this concept
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>1362705
Rapid spin manoeuvre, the faster the better
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>1362708
Roll 2d1000 to fight without visual aid
>>
Rolled 649, 179 = 828 (2d1000)
>>1362710
Okay.
>>
Rolled 29, 58 = 87 (2d100)
>>1362710
forget your high rolls!
>>
Rolled 60, 13 = 73 (2d100)
>>1362710
Luckily we've got sonar
>>
Rolled 648, 654 = 1302 (2d1000)
>>1362710
whoops
>>
Rolled 79, 91 = 170 (2d100)
>>1362710
Here's a 1d100 if that was a typo and not intended.
>>
Rolled 140, 379 = 519 (2d1000)
>>1362714
2d1000? Wut
>>
Rolled 606, 563 = 1169 (2d1000)
>>1362710
>>
EX overkill incoming
>>
>>1362716
It was a typos, yes.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>1362721
you should favor typos and OVERKILL THAT BASTARD WITH RAGE
HE WRECKED SIDOROVICH FOR GOD SAKE
>>
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Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>1362721
Bring out the Gaint Cyb- I mean Robot Extremely Fast Vibrating Knife and run screaming at his like a psychopath to cut his arm off.
Lets get our Evangelion references out of the way for now.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>1362724
"I only broke your head cam...NOW I'll wreck your mech"
Roll 2d100 to dodge his machine gun fire.
-20 due to blindness
OR
Roll 1d1000 for Deus Ex Machina
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>1362721
Grab nearby car and bat him out of the park
>>
Rolled 279 (1d1000)
>>1362726
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>1362726
Our anger will guide us. Hopefully.
>>
Rolled 353 (1d1000)
>>1362726
DEUS EX MACHINA
>>
Rolled 140 (1d1000)
>>1362726
>>
You know, we probably could have done it if you guys didn't hope for Mom to save us.
>>
Welp sheeeeiiit
>>
>>1362733
"Ah fuck"
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>1362739
I didn't ask for this
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>1362739
It is a mysterious White Sidorovich, with a badass cape and machine gun?
>>
>>1362741
mysterious mech X?!
>>
>>1362742
Now with top hat, cane, and harpoons instead of roses.
>>
>>1362741
Nah. It's just your eldest siter in Power Armor.
>>
I've been thinking
would it be fun to have a robot master quest?
Design a robot master
have to kill megaman so many times to win the game?
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>1362739
aw fuck, sis saving our butt again
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>1362744
sick
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>1362744
How shit she's drawn by Obari.
>>
>>1362748
*Holy shit
>>
>>1362748
"Well that's not g---ah shit"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>1362752
Tom I still love you!
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>1362752
Rush into it now and knock it over, he's under arrest.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>1362752
open cock pit and open fire
>>
>>
Rolled 10 (1d80)
>>1362754
Since you're both blind now without head cams.
Roll 2d80
>>
>>1362760
[Insert Hot Blooded Screaming here]
>>
Rolled 46, 18 = 64 (2d80)
>>1362760
>>
Rolled 68, 29 = 97 (2d80)
>>1362761
Shet.
>>
Rolled 16, 70 = 86 (2d100)
>>1362760
>>
Rolled 58, 13 = 71 (2d80)
>>1362760
Hope I'm not too late
>>
>>1362763
Suspect Neutralized.
>>
Rolled 44, 5 = 49 (2d100)
>>1362767
Look for dad Approval
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>1362767
Look for more realistic big sis approval, in the form of a thumbs up.
>>
Rolled 26 (1d1000)
>>1362768
Roll 2d100 to see if Dad gives you a slight nod of approval or not.
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
Settle for any approval we can find
>>
Rolled 62, 91 = 153 (2d100)
>>1362770
Let it be
>>
>>1362771
Eh, I'll take it.
Dad gives you a slight nod of approval as he monitors the fight.
And that's the end of this episode.
Updates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>1362774
>Dad gives you a slight nod of approval as he monitors the fight.
B-BAKANA.
>>
so yeah that's the end. It's not like I can continue even if I wanted to. Image limit.
>>
>>1362774
Thanks for bread you glorious bastard
>>
>>1362774
no bread tonight, so fucking bored at work. Everything tis now.
>>
>>1362633
Wait, you use paint tool sai with no pen pressure!? WHY!
>>
>>1365334
Because dem jaggies
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