The Adventures of Dingus.

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Years after the land of Saroria was saved by the legendary heroes of old. Those heroes worked in perfect harmony to seal away an evil horror, one created by wild magic and brewed in the flames of the under dark, and evil know as Malice.

Malice has been unsealed and given a much stronger host body, one that one by one offed the heroes of old and any others possibly able to defeat them.

The last Adventurer left is you: Dingus Deluxiouser.

Become Dingus: You were always a strange boy. You where a human born child, yet never grew much taller than a teen, as if you were a giant among gnomes yet a midget among your fellow men. Your legs had always been weak and yet they stretched over your body, easily taking up more than 50 percent. Your stomach and chest seemed to meld together in a cluster fuck of a circular body, and your meaty arms popped out to extend like an ape to your knees. Despite all these clear deformities, along with your Cobra-esque neck and potato face, your parents kept you because they desperately needed help on their farm. Your mother was renown for attracting to her a multitude of mystical beings, most of which a sign that something great was to occur to her. Your father was a great warrior in a long war injured by his combat. because of this, many of the needs of the family fell upon the children who would pick you to do all of it. By the time you were a teen you were capable of doing all the work in the small farm single-handedly. You had become strong, both mentally and physically due to the heckling and the work. you had learned to fight in order to help fend off breast from your crop and cattle and had spent your spare time practicing magics and a multitude of crafts. When your father finally died, the farm was given to your older brother who promptly kicked you out to the nearest city. Here, you learned of the new threat and vowed to make a name for yourself by slaying it. You look into your inventory: You carried with you a gallon of mustard that would last you as 8 days worth of rations, your only other pair of clothing, 50 ft of rope, your trusty sling and short club, a tinder box, your mostly empty spellbook, a bed roll, a compass and map, and a small pouch containing your life savings of 15 gold. You know that to begin the life of an adventurer you will need to prepare yourself and this city is a wonderful place to start: but what will you do with the money? Perhaps buy armor, or hire a party to join in your escapades, or purchase spells to aid in your time.

Be you: Make a choice dumbass.