Knight Quest!

>>1254368
>To Save a Princess!

>>1254368
>To Conquer The World!

Thee may suggesteth an adventure of thy owneth, although thee'll has't to receiveth someone else to concur with thee
(You may suggest an adventure of your own, although you'll have to get someone else to agree with you)
(Shakespearean English will be a common theme in this quest, but i'll provide translations.)

>>1254368
>To Woo a Fair Maiden!

Rolled 2 (1d6)

Seeing as how the vote wast inconclusive, i shalt rolleth to seeth which adventure is embark'd upon

(Seeing as how the vote was inconclusive, I shall roll to see which adventure is embarked upon.)
>1-2 To Save a Princess!
>3-4 To Conquer The World!
>5-6 To Woo a Fair Maiden!

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The local princess was kidnapped! She is far across the land, locked away in a cursed keep that lies in a eternal state of darkness. The kingdom is falling to shambles as it's ruler succumbs to bouts of depression and impulsiveness in the wake of the loss of his daughter. You are determined to bring back the princess and restore order to the land.
Now... what type of knight are you?
>A Simple Knight, wielding a sword
>A Shovel Knight, wielding a spade
>A Plague Knight, wielding explosives
>The King Himself, wielding a scepter
>A Templar Knight, wielding DEUS VULT
>(Write In) Knight, wielding (Insert weapon here)

>>1254470
A Penis Knight, wielding a Penis.

>>1254470
>(Write In) Knight, wielding (Insert weapon here)
The QUANTUM Knight, wielding QUANTUM PHYSICS

Whichev'r hast the highest votes out of five shalt beest chosen
(Whichever has the highest votes out of five shall be chosen)

>>1254368
>To Conquer The World!

>>1254470
>Surfer Knight, wielding a surfboard

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>>1254470
>A Punch Knight, wielding your FISTS.

>>1254470
>A Mage Knight, wielding a Magician Staff

Staff is metal and can be used as a blunt weapon (the knight being proficient at this).
Magic specialization: body and mind transmutation.

I know I'm late for the first vote, but seeing as it was sort of split between saving a princess and wooing a maiden, how about we make our objective to save AND woo the princess?

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>1254594
>>1254510
>>1254499
>>1254475
>>1254473
I shalt rolleth again to decideth this stalemate
(I shall roll again to decide this stalemate)
>1-2 Penis Knight
>3-4 Quantum Knight
>5-6 Surfer Knight
>7-8 Punch Knight
>9-10 Mage Knight

>>1254594
I'll support this.
On both ideas

>>1254601
Why not all five?

>>1254604
It'd be a confusing process. In other news, the mage knight wins.

>>1254608
Not if I support the Quantum Knight

>>1254608
I'll switch to mage knight.

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You're a rather... meek knight. In comparison to the other more physically capable knights of course. Relying on magic and the occasional whack of your staff, you're not one for swordsmanship, or brawling. This has of course... made it rather hard for you to find a companion for which to spend the rest of your days with. While others gasped at the news of the princess being kidnapped, you merely smiled. For you knew if you could save her, the king would surely give you her beautiful hand in marriage. You're currently in your cottage, pondering your actions inside of your bedroom as the sun rises in the distance. There are three (notable) rooms in your abode, including this one.
What shall you do?
>Look in the mirror
>Study in your library
>Make a hearty meal in the kitchen
>Train your strength in your small training quarters
>Embark on your adventure! There is no time to waste in securing your love!

>>1254669
>Make a hearty meal in the kitchen

>>1254669
>study in your library

need brain gains

>>1254673
I'll switch to studying.

>>1254669
Actually when I suggested the Mage Knight I envisioned him as something or a martial artist with a bo staff who could also cast magic.
But this is good too, though seeing as we specialize in transmutation, I would suggest that one of our primary abilities should be to cast on ourselves to temporarily "hulk out" when we need to bash heads in with the metal pole.

Anyway:
>Study in your library
but not generic study, let's look up for anything we may need to know for out quest.
Information on the fiend that kidnapped our future love, details of the terrain we will have to traverse and most importantly proven adn true wooing techniques.

>>1254669
>Study in your library

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You go to your library and commence studying, one such as yourself shouldn't be blindly running into danger should he? You find an old map detailing the various landmarks and routes inbetween your current location and what you assume to be the keep. Unfortunately, this map hasn't been updated since the keep and its surrounding areas have underwent... corruption.
As far as you can tell, you'll have to traverse a large forest, some (now presumably treacherous) ruins of the olden days, and a series of mountains, one looking particularly colder than the others, before arriving at the keep. Also of note is two villages, one after the forest and one before the mountains. You're unable to gain much knowledge on the villain who kidnapped the princess, although from observation and rumors you assume he is an evil spirit... or wizard... or... some sort of being with dark magic. Reading through some old spell books you learn to cast a transmutation spell dubbed Hulk Smash! and a... rather suggestive spell named Erectus Maximus
Now that you've gained knowledge, what shall you do?
>Examine yourself in the mirror
>Make a hearty meal in the kitchen
>Train in your small training quarters
>Begin your journey! So that you can make use of your new spells...

>>1254738
>spell named Erectus Maximus
Not what I had in mind regarding wooing techniques, but I like the way this author thinks.

>Examine yourself in the mirror
Are we a snazzy enough dude to seduce a princess?

>>1254738

>Examine yourself in the mirror
>Make a hearty meal in the kitchen
>Train in your small training quarters

In that order. Let's cast Erects Maximus while we're watching ourselves in the mirror, to get a better understanding of our abilities.

>>1254738
>Make a hearty meal in the kitchen

>>1254770
Hi /fit/!

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You decide to test the rather strange spell you found infront of the mirror, you mutter a few words en'rgy floweth to mine own loins and watch the results. You're... extremely distracted as you watch your appendage swell to what looks like a foot long , with the girth of your staff. Although, there isn't much combat potential for this skill, you're curious to see its effects on others. On a lesser note, you figure this might help you in woo'ing the princess. As you wait for the swelling to go on you examine yourself and your supplies, you currently have: A shabby body with shabbier robes, a small coin purse full of coins, and a large metal staff, you're covering your face in a mask as you have the tendency to blush frequently After your self-examination you begin preparation of a hearty Ham Sandwhich which you swiftly add to your inventory. You quickly train in your training quarters, lightly hitting a small dummy, it doesn't yield any results but you feel like you could take on the world now!
Now that you're fully prepared, are you ready to embark on your journey?
>Yes (Also write in a name for the knight)
>No (Choose to do something else in the house)

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>>1254762
>>1254770
>>1254773
>>1254813

Let's be careful not to distract ourselves with thoughts of the undoubtedly supple, comely, and creamy-skinned princess...

>>1254738

>examine self in mirror

mmm

>>1254828
>Yes
Train a little
>Name
Priapus

>>1254853
Oops, I mean
>No
Train a little before leaving.

>>1254828
>what looks like a foot long
We may have overdosed that spell a bit. I mean it'd be preferable if we could actually use this without killing our mate in the process.

Anyway, shabby robes?! That won't do.
Are there no better robes in our possession to show us for the suave motherfucker we no doubt are?

(Incidentally, I regret not choosing "Go to the training quarters to refresh our bo martial artistry". Too late for that now, we are officially the guy lightly hitting mannequins)

>>1254828

>No

Our hero needs his trusty chastity belt (if he happens to have one) as it may come in handy

>>1254874
Actually I was thinking something of the opposite nature: we may want to quickly hit the books again for a spell/potion of protection against sexually transmitted diseases.
Now THAT will come in handy.

>>1254828
>No (Choose to do something else in the house)
Get ourselves to a level where we could make the trip on foot without the excessive use of magic (water is obnoxiously heavy). A strong body helps focus a strong mind. Make/purchase non-spoiling food like jerky and dried fruit.

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Not satisfied with your robes, or your current physique, you decide to train! You angrily bash the dummy into fluff using your staff, it is at this moment you realize you've broken your only dummy and that training isn't instantaneous. You change out of your night-robes infront of your mirror, revealing your slight curves and plump backside to your horror you also realize your penis is smaller than before apparently Erectus Maximus has some adverse side effects. If you're not careful with your spellcraft you may end up Ms. Knight by the end of your adventure. Equipping your rather stylish Mage Robes you realize its high-noon and about time to start your journey!
What's your name brave adventurer?
>Write in name and start your journey

>>1254911
>Priapus

>>1254911

Name: Chado

>>1254911
Thus a promising quest came to a sudden, unexpected death.
On to greener pastures.

The most wondrous nameth out of five shall beest chosen, 'r the one with the most votes
(The best name out of five will be chosen, or the one with the most votes.)

>>1254911
Caine

>>1254941
...Actually I just meant to give you incentive not to spam Erectus Maximus on yourself. I mean raping everything in your path with a giant dick would've gotten stale after awhile. If thats what you wanted you could've just chosen Penis Knight.

>>1254933
i vote for this

>>1254964
No, it's a good drawback to discourage that.

>>1254964
I don't know man. It's like you gave us an awesome new shiny toy and then told us "There's a catch though: you can't play with it. Just keep it in the box and feel happy that you've got it" (talking about the spell here, not the penis per se).
It also gave me the impression that this would be the beginning of a trend, "hulk out" making us increasingly wimpier every time it wears out and so on with any new spells learned.
Especially when this came packed with "slight curves and plump backside". Kind of seemed like you were going "Oh, you guys thought you'd have a fun power fantasy with this quest? Haha, nope!"

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Wielding your staff, you Priapus the Mage Knight begin your quest with a large grin on your face. Stepping out onto the dirtpath leading into the nearby Forest of Alas'ry a looming shadow is cast by the trees as you hear a mixture of screams, snarling, and gurgling resonating from the forest. Surely, it has been affected by the corruption You may want to approach the forest differently given the circumstances.
What now, Sir Knight?
>Continue down the dirt path, it's clear atleast
>Tread off the path into the brush, whatever's out there expects you to go down the path
>Turn around and see if there's some way to circumvent the forest.

>>1255025
>Tread off the path into the brush, whatever's out there expects you to go down the path

>>1254997
I wasn't going for a trend, honestly it was going to be an occasional drawback if you decided to use it relentlessly. And later on I was going to note that "it seems you're back to normal" as a sort of nod to, it can be used, just with a rest period inbetween. But, for the record if there's a rather powerful ability, I may throw in some sort of monkey wrench, not something direct but probably something comedic. Things necessary such as Hulk Smash! or other more utility spells won't be touched however.

>>1255025
>Continue down the dirt path, it's clear atleast
We must be brave.

>>1255035
>later on I was going to note that "it seems you're back to normal" as a sort of nod to, it can be used, just with a rest period inbetween.
Ah. Okay then, we cool.
We're gonna have to work on a long lasting (even if not permanent) transmutation spell for that physique though. Can't woo the ladies otherwise.

>>1255025
What kind of screams do we hear? Are they pleas for help? if so, we should intervene.
If not,
>Continue down the dirt path, it's clear atleast

>>1255025

>Tread off the path into the brush, whatever's out there expects you to go down the path

Too dark to risk an ambush. Cowardice over death.

>>1255064
I thought it was night time for some reason

never mind


i pick

>Continue down the dirt path, it's clear atleast

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You continue striding down the dirt path into the forest, an echo of shouts of all natures surround you. Shrill almost banshee like cries come from the distance, while pleas for mercy occasionally seem to come from nearby, only to reveal no source. Strangely, a few sickening shouts of ecstasy seem to be intermingled with the cacophony of horror. Whatever corruption has touched this forest is truly wicked. You're so distracted by this symphony of suffering that you trip. You get up and realize that this wasn't mere clumsiness, a vine's crept its way onto the dirt path and grabbed onto your foot!
Think fast Priapus!
>Attack the vine!
>Join the voices and begin shouting in terror
>Take your shoe off and let the vine take it
>Write in

>>1255097
>Attack the vine!
Whack at it.

>>1255056
Its... everything. If one were to come up for a nickname for this forest it'd be the Forest of Constant Screaming

>>1255097
Mh. Blunt steel is probably not much good against a large vine, but if it's a small one it might work.
Alright, if the vine is not as thick as our staff we try to squish or sever it with the bottom tip of the staff.
If it's thicker than that, then I guess we'll be short one shoe.

>>1255097
>attack vine

Try and eat vine in an attempt to gain sustinence.

>>1255097
>Attack the vine!

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You whack the vine off of your foot, adding Severed "Sweet" Vine to your inventory. You turn to continue walking down the path when suddenly you hear a cry of pain followed by a somewhat annoyed female voice. "You heartless cretin! Do you know how much that hurt?". A rather...floral looking woman begins to emerge from the forest shade, she has a pretty face with green skin. You almost approach to apologize when you notice many snake-like vines trailing behind her... the screams almost seem louder as she comes closer. "On second thought, I guess I understand your fear...not like I'd expect an ignorant human such as yourself to know of creatures such as myself". A seductive smile grows on her face as she approaches, the screams growing ever louder. "How would you like to learn of my people first hand?" Learn a little botany?".
Will you woo this temptress Sir Knight?
>Examine her
>Attack her
>Fancy her
>Run away screaming and crying
>Write In

>>1255187
>Attack her
It's just a trap to suck out all of our tasty body nutrients.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>1255187

Cast Erects Maximus and roll to seduce.

>>1255226
I think you should wait until the QM says to roll.
lel

>>1255187
>284x177
"What is this, a dryad for ants?" We scream at the temptress.
Nah, just kidding.

Let's roll diplomacy, it would be cautious but unchivalrous to further attack unprovoked.
"My apologies, oh lush maiden, I assumed the vine to harbor ill intent. Unfortunately I am afraid I will have to decline your offer as I am on an important and urgent quest!"

Wish we weren't in the cool down period of the Erectus Maximus, probably could have tamed easily this green lady with it.

>>1255226
You roll so low that the QM doesn't take note of your idea
You may try something else, or the same thing... except. Put it to a vote and have me roll for it again or something.

>>1255233
Also noted, your Erectus Maximus is off cooldown. I'll give you the rules for it, anytime you enter a new area, or at the end of an encounter, it comes off cooldown. Meaning you can't use it against multiple enemies. Yes there will be multiple enemies per encounter later on

>>1255262
Does it work on other things like trees and such?

>>1255187
>Examine her
Dryads are either nice, or REALLY FUCKING TERRIBLE.

>>1255266
We have yet to discover this. You may try to cast Erectus Maximus on whatever you like. Also, if you use it on anything other than yourself the cooldown doesn't apply.

>>1255262
Ah that's good to know. Even so, those intensified screams do not bode well, I'll stick to my prompt for now >>1255233

Let's see if she insists or allows us to go. If she gets rapey, then we'll maximize and beat her at her own game.

Well seeing as how we have two for... "diplomacy" some mentions of erectus maximus and one for examination. I'll bundle examination and counter-seduction into one.
>1-15 You fail miserably... and now you have a giant rod for her to play with. Great!
>16-30 You fail to seduce her, but luckily she's still patient with you.
>31-45 You succeed in seduction, guess you're gonna have a fun time! ...Probably.
>46-50 You succeed completely! And she'll assist you further... beyond sexual relief, of course.

Rolled 41 (1d50)

Rolling, going to add 10 due to having a Maximus Erectus

>>1255187
>attack her

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>>1255339
OH

>>1255339
Victory!
Time to overpower and fill to the fullest.

Some wise anon early on suggested beinging a chastity belt. Can we do our business while keeping out butthole protected from stray vines?

>>1255339

Priapus reigns triumphant!

>>1254829
>creamy-skinned
Shit princess wouldn't save

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You cast Erectus Maximus and produce an awe inspiring tent infront of the Floral Temptress she drools nectar as the screams suddenly, and you see droves of people crawling away into the forest, along with a thud as a pile of limp bodies fall onto the ground. Upon closer examination it appears that she's been abducting people and forcibly "harvesting nutrients" from them in a massive slithering web of tentacles that trail behind her. She begins "I-it appears you're eager to do some gardening... aren't you? A blush grows across her face and your own as two rose buds on her breasts blossom into bloom. She caresses you with her tentacles, Bringing you into her embrace, you proceed to suck on her flowering breasts, swallowing mouthfuls of sweet nectar as you fill her to the brim with your "staff". Her spongy body stretches as she screams in pleasure her face contorting into a mixture of disturbing and rather beautiful expressions. You finally satisfy her as you fertilize her by every definition of the word. You fall asleep in her soft sweet smelling embrace, both of you waking the next morning. She strokes your face with her hand and smiles, handing you Two bottles of sweet "nectar" and teaching you a new transmutation. Tentacles You think of some rather... morally vague complications of this spell as you bid her farewell and continue treading down the dirt road. A thought crosses your mind as you hear a series of screams behind you. "Shouldn't I be slaying corrupt creatures?.
What now you horny hero?
>Continue down the path, dim despite it being day
>Go off into the brush, likely under the protection of the Floral Temptress
>Go back and slay the temptress, you can't let her corruption taint this forest any longer
>Write In

>>1255473
...crap I forgot to close off one of the italicizations.

>>1255473
Aw, I was hoping we could redeem her.
We can't lay and slay, that's just not suave, we'll have to leave this task to some other knight.

>Go off into the brush, likely under the protection of the Floral Temptress

>>1255509
*Incidentally,

>>1255473
very nice writing OP, keep it up!

>>1255509

Agreed. Perhaps we should attempt to negotiate with more monsters in the future, we did learn a useful transmutation spell from her after all.

>>1255439

> Not wanting a soft, smooth, and thicc princess

Pleb-tier.

>>1255473

She would have killed us if it wasn't for our mighty magical ability. We must delude our enemies but not ourselves! I say we slaughter the green whore!

>Go back and slay the temptress, you can't let her corruption taint this forest any longer

>>1255473
>Go back and slay the temptress, you can't let her corruption taint this forest any longer

>>1255528

You raise valid points. But think of all the people lives she has been destroying! I would be surprised if there wasn't a bounty on her head. >>1255509

>>1255547
No one's doubting she would have killed us.
But to go back and kill her now, that would be a betrayal most foul.

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You travel off the road, continuing your journey towards the end of the forest. Trees seem to bend as you walk, providing a sunny somewhat relaxed journey throughout the day. Vines occasionally snake up next to you baring fruit, which you quickly eat. Occasionally, the Floral Temptress creeps out from what little shade borders your path. She kisses you on the cheek, talking sweetly to you, which almost distracts you from the chorus of suffering going on behind her. You begin questioning why you're even going to save the princess when the Floral Temptress comes and talks to you about the "wonders" of fertilization and cross-species mating. "You've probably already gotten me pregnant!" She giggles cutely before continuing "I can't wait to bare your children and grow my wonderful forest ever further, I can already see them scuttling about raising gardens of their own." She pets a tentacle upon ending her dreamy statement.
So "Hero" now what?
>Pick up your pace, we need to get out of here as soon as possible.
>Slay the temptress, you really don't want tentacle rapists to be a frequent site.
>Awkwardly go along with the temptress as you enjoy your easy journey out of the forest.
>Settle down, didn't you go on your quest for love anyway? Who cares about morals.
>Write In.

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>>1255547
>>1255554

Is it not ignoble to carnally penetrate a comely maiden, (granted, of monstrous proportions,) and attempt to slay her the very next morning? Even after she's gifted us with her protection and a mighty spell that will undoubtedly prove to be an invaluable aid in our noble quest? Think of the Chivalry!

A true Knight does not lie with a woman one moment, and kill her the next like some petty brigand! Granted, she's a monster, but how are we to know she isn't simply protecting her home from trespassers?

>>1255594
Mh, maybe we can fix this in a peaceful manner.
Let's try to convince that she can achieve her goal of cross species mating peacefully and consensually as she just did with us, no need to trap people and rape them when there would be no doubt a line of volunteers if she didn't present herself as threateningly as she does.

>>1255594
>Pick up your pace, we need to get out of here as soon as possible.
>>1255599
A true knight wouldn't lie with a monster so that knightly honor idea is out of the window.

>>1255594

Let us

> Awkwardly go along with the temptress as you enjoy your easy journey out of the forest.

Let's ask her about inter-species mating, and what our children will be like, and ask her what she knows of the forest, and the lands beyond. Let's also ask her about the chorus of suffering, and how she creates the unholy symphony of noise.

>>1255617
...Actually she has high standards. You just happened to meet them which is why she didn't add you to her... "garden" Anyone else that isn't a mate simply gets used for sustenance.

>>1255599
Her ultimate goal is to spread her forest further and further through a rather vague planty conquest. Oh, and lots of mini-hers running about doing the same. On the upside the kingdom will never have fresher air.

>>1255640
If that's the case, switching to fight.

Alright so we got one for.
>Pick up the pace
>Awkwardly go along with her until you leave
And two for
>Slay her

>>1255627

Ah, so it IS a torture garden... Hm. Well, I suppose we can always come back and free her captives later. I don't feel right killing her immediately after we've impregnated her, and regardless of her evil nature, she's still a sexy dryad...

Do we have any rope in our inventory?

> If we decide to slay her, let's use the Tentacles spell to play with her body and get a feel of the spell. After a few hours, she should be exhausted enough we can slay her with ease.

>>1255599
But think of all the innocent people? What is the value of a mere singular plant compared to the lives of many men,women, and children?

Then again...Maybe she was simply defending the forest from us humans? I say we negotiate some sort of peaceful way out of this.

If speaking with her fails, we slaughter her.

>>1255655
It doesn't seem like she's defending herself.

>>1255654
I agree with this.

Well, since we're slaying her. We can go about this in different ways. She's currently cooing and daydreaming while talking about how much she loves you. What do you want to do?
Regardless of what action you choose you're going to be teary-eyed afterwards.
>Hulk-Out and whack her head off with your staff, baseball bat style.
>Erectus Maximus and kill her mid-coitus
>Bring her to a lake and kill her "Of Mice and Men" style, cutting her head off with a tentacle while she goes on daydreaming.
>Write In
>On second thought... lets not kill her.

>>1255627
There may be a fundamental misunderstanding here. I was under the assumption that the other screams were from people being forcibly sexed. Are they actually being eaten instead?

Either way,
>>1255599
I agree with this anon.

Author, can't we just leave it to another one of the many knights in this kingdom to kill her?
Or is this going to be a situation like that campaign in which the players decided not to go fight the liche and instead foment a revolution to bring democracy only for an undead horde to descend on them? (Or in this case, we save the princess only to find out that the kingdom's been overtaken by forests)

>>1255668
It won't be that bad, but I doubt the other knights will be able to handle an army of your children. Additionally, you could probably convince her to leave the kingdom alone... but if she spreads towards the wilds, she'll likely destroy your house in the process, or atleast plummet the land value by surrounding it in overgrowth.

>>1255667
>Bring her to a lake and kill her "Of Mice and Men" style, cutting her head off with a tentacle while she goes on daydreaming.

>>1255667
>>Bring her to a lake and kill her "Of Mice and Men" style, cutting her head off with a tentacle while she goes on daydreaming.


This is an aesthetic way to kill someone.

>>1255654
Idea! If she's now so in love with us why don't we make her part of our (eventual) harem on condition that she follows us and stops torturing people?

If she refuses we can try to out-tentacle and bind her as we drag her out of the forest and continue to sweet talk and periodically make sex with her.
Hopefully it works over time.

...For the record we haven't actually talked to her yet. We've simply fucked her brains out and seduced her. So it is possible to convince her to change her current plans.

>>1255667

Damn, I feel guilty slaying her. She seems so innocent, I know she's an evil plant monster, but still...

>On second thought... lets not kill her and let's explain why we're worried about her and her forest.

> If we do kill her, let's use the Tentacles spell to play with her body and get a feel of the spell. If we have enough energy left, cast Erectus Maximus and thoroughly penetrate each of her orifices. After a few hours, she should be exhausted enough we can slay her with ease.

>>1255682
Don't care about house and land value, but torture of innocents must stop whether by our hand or (as would have been preferable others).

Of course if we can make the torturing stop by peaceful, loving means, all the better.

>>1255696

Let's try to speak to her.

>>1255682

How many children can one dryad pregnancy bear, anyway? Also, if the Kingdom is weak enough to fall to a handful of dryads and an easily burnt forest, maybe it deserves to fall...

Geez, you're really going to let a kingdom get attacked for some chick you banged once? Waifuism is lame.

Rolled 12 (1d32)

>>1255702
>>1255697
>>1255692
>>1255689
>>1255685
You take a rest at a lake, and start a conversation with the lovely Floral Temptress you've decided that if you can't convince her to change her plans peacefully, you'll unfortunately have to... you shed a tear and sniffle at the thought.
Rolling for convincing her to come along peacefully.
>1-11 She... doesn't want to change her plans
>12-22 She'll change her plans, but doesn't want to come along with you.
>23-32 She'll come along with you in the name of love.
Adding 7 due to lucky love.

>>1255734

You misunderstand, as a Knight, we're obligated to find a peaceful solution to the problem, because we had sex with her. If there's no way to get her to change her ways, we need to slay her, but if there's a chance we can, there's no reason not to try.

Well it looks like you don't have to kill her!
For now

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>>1255750

Whew lad, that was close.

>>1255750
>>1255767
It sure was.

Looking forward to seeing some good writing on this OP!

I have to say, in the end, I am glad we managed to remain honourable.

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She sits in contemplation as you explain that she doesn't need to use humans as a source of sustenance, or do a hostile takeover of the kingdom. You even attempt to get her to come with you, although it doesn't succeed. The screams stop briefly, quickly replaced by bleats of pain and growling. "I'm sorry, I can't come with you... I need to protect my precious plants... and our soon to be offspring but for you, i'll change the menu!" She gives you a small smile and a thumbs up, you wince and return the gesture as you hear a howl of pain from behind her. You cuddle and toy with her at the lake for awhile, getting up and stretching before continuing your journey.
Now what Sir "Peta's Bane Priapus"?
>Try to walk at a faster pace than her, the whole chorus of screams is maddening to listen to.
>Walk alongside her as you near the exit of the forest.
>Write In

>>1255797
Hardly
>>1255812
>Try to walk at a faster pace than her, the whole chorus of screams is maddening to listen to.

>>1255830
Jizzing on some plants never harmed anyone

>>1255812
Happy end! Thank you OP!

>Walk alongside her (at a speedy pace, but not running) as you near the exit of the forest.

>>1255812

>Try to walk at a faster pace than her, the whole chorus of screams is maddening to listen to.

We don't want to be corrupted by any maddening screams, after all.

>>1255830

We're dabbling in body horror witchcraft, just fucked an evil plant monster solely for the pleasure of it, and we're only trying to save the princess to get married. I doubt we're a paragon of Knightly virtue, but that doesn't mean we can't have standards.

>>1255839
Except creating more plant monsters

>>1255715
Well lets see... she'll likely use every last piece of your essence, and you used Erectus Maximus and how she likely has thousands of outlets for birth with no limitation for how many eggs can be used at a time and...
150,000 Children Guess your line's living on eh?

>>1255871


We could raise an army with that number! This may come in handy when rescuing the princess.


Are morals are intact, but I concede that...we may fall somewhat short of the traditional standard of what is considered honourable.

>>1255871

That seems a tad much, but, oh well. How many people live in the Kingdom?

>>1255871
Could be worse.
Could be millions
Maybe we could field an army.

>>1255904
our*

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You finally reach the clearing of the Forest of Alas'ry, the screams a mere echo behind you. You're about to leave when suddenly the Floral Temptress rushes up next to you, apparently while her garden moves fairly slowly she can keep quite the pace. You wave goodbye and turn to leave when you notice a Wall of roots blocking your once sunny exit. You turn back to the Temptressknowing her to be the cause of the sudden obstruction. She tries to play innocent, but eventually reveals her intentions after some prodding. "Well... remember how you asked if I could come with you? That got me thinking... wouldn't it be great if you stayed with me? I mean... you don't want your kids growing up without a father do you?" She rubs her arm as she continues "Plus, I don't think you're strong enough to survive what's ahead... and I don't want a wonderful such as yourself dying and never returning."Her eyes narrow slightly as her tone gets bitter."Or running off with some other woman. So I've decided that... for your own good, and mine, you're going to stay with me, ok? I guarantee you'll be happy!" She smiles at you, as you reciprocate nervously. This woman is obviously attached, if you're going to continue your journey you're going to have to get past her.
How will you deal with this admirer, knight?
>We're going to have to kill her after all
>Attempt to convince her to come along
>Attempt to convince her to let us go
>Write In

>>1255933
>We're going to have to kill her after all
She's becoming yandere.

>>1255933
>Attempt to convince her to come along
Or
>Attempt to convince her to let us go

This seems like a bad situation
for some reason

>>1255914
Well given that this is a rather medieval kingdom in the middle of a rather shaky period I'd say... 500,000

>>1255860
>>1255933
OP...

>>1255958
>corrupt plant monster acts crazy once she grows attached to you
>this is somehow surprising
She was eating people before you showed up, you can't tell me you were expecting this to end completely well right? There's still a chance for a relatively happy ending, even if she's sad or... a mildly psychopathic companion.

>>1255933

>Attempt to convince her to let us go

By any chance could our Hero rummage through his belongings to check if he has a chastity belt? If he happens to have one he could put it on, and give the Floral Temptress the key! That way we have no chance of being unfaithful.

Could we not lie and say that we have many allies ahead?

>>1255904
>>1255914
>>1255927
These options are all on the table too, you could stay and raise the offspring, but if you delay too long... well god knows what that evil in the keep could do while you're rearing children.

>>1255985
You do have the chastity belt! But it's going to be fairly embarrassing when the princess goes to reward you and... well you've got a locked up dick. But yes, you could always do this at the cost of... well a sexless adventure.

>>1256007


would it not be possible to break free from the chastity belt by using Erectus Maximus? If not then i do NOT want to use the chastity belt.

>>1256013
It would be extremely painful
you're a big dick
For you.
...Yes it is possible, but it's going to be a god awful experience. Could also lock-pick it or break it through other means.
So, do you want to convince her to let us go via chastity? Could also use that same argument to have her come along with us and be a badass plant companion/overbearing wife.

>>1255972
It's not that is unreasonable, the thing is, we're roleplaying to have fun. If we wanted to deal with possessive females and alimony, we'd go out and knock up realy women instead of questing.

Anyway, we've convinced her not to prey on humans, so killing her now when we didn't do it earlier would be purely out of selfishness and is therefore not an option I would consider.

Either we convince her to let us go, or we stay, become and become king consort of the forest.
(At this point, having established that she's the jealous type, I don't really want her along for the journey).

>>1256021
I'd say bring her along.
She's proven she can kill things

>>1256013
>>1256021
There is such thing as smiths that we could resort to.
Not really in favor of using the belt as a bargaining tool though but at this point I don't much care either way.

>>1256026
Wait
>Forest king quest.
I can dig it.

>>1256021

we simply can not trust her, for that reason i say we ditch her ASAP. My vote goes for the chastity.

Rolled 19 (1d35)

>>1256026
>>1255985
>>1255943
Alright, rolling to see what happens.
>6-10 "No my love, you're staying with me"
>11-20 "You may leave... but I'm protecting you!"
>25-30 "You may leave... but... can I come along?" (You've got a choice)
>31-35 "You know what... We've just had a fling, its silly to think you'd settle down. I'll make you fall inlove with me though! (She comes along, without any jealousy)
Adding 5 for "Love!" bonus.

>>1256069
crap I fucked up the listing there, you landed on the third one.
>You may leave... but can I come along? (You've got a choice)
She's likely going to be a little huffy when you get with other women, but overall she's going to be trying to prove herself to you via being the better partner.

>>1256069
>>1256071
For the record, I'm wrapping up for tonight after you guys decide whether or not to have her come along with you.

>>1256083

This was fun thanks OP

I say we ditch her, we can always attempt to return if we are in need of an army.

>>1256071
>She's likely going to be a little huffy when you get with other women, but overall she's going to be trying to prove herself to you via being the better partner.
If that's the case then yes, I say she most definitely can come along.
But we're holding you to that OP.

Onward to adventure!
Next time, that is (will that be tomorrow? Or do we have a schedule?)

>>1256114
>>1256104
I'll be back tomorrow after writing up the last post for tonight. Likely between noon and three (eastern standard time). Voting ends in 13 minutes.

>>1256041
But anon, we can thrust her.

But in all seriousness, I'm trusting OP >>1256071
in that fidelity won't be an issue and she'll try her best to be a good partner.

>>1256071
Sure she can come.

Is there any reason NOT to have an extremely dangerous and loyal dryad accompany us on our Quest?

>>1256165
Well there's a freezing tundra-like mountain, right before the keep. Which also happens to be the perfect spot for Dramatic loss before the final stretch of the journey But, I'm forgiving if something like that were to occur I'd give you a heads-up and plenty of opportunities to prevent it.

>>1256175
Better get extra warm clothing at the town. Thanks for the heads up!

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You convince her to come along with you instead of vice versa. You leave the forest, beginning to have a new appreciation for sunshine. The agonizing screams of innocent animals trailing behind you doesn't even register as you walk hand in hand, leaving behind a trail of misery to every non-human or plant creature that happens to be in your path. You're not corrupt however, as the redemption of a Forest guardian is something quite amazing, even if it comes at the cost of a few... thousand animals. As for her being a Forest Guardian she told you this off-handedly, along with her name Veronica. You both happily continue down the road hand in hand, heading towards Pacivillage.
Thou have done well for now Priapus, you will be blessed with a peaceful journey on your way to the village.
Current status coming up.

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Stats:
Name: Priapus
Health: 100/100
Hunger: Full (Making love to Veronica is a pretty nutritious activity)
Body:Fairly shabby, thank god for Hulk Smash! and Erectus Maximus
Inventory:
Ham sandwich
Severed "Sweet" Vine
Staff of Transmubashery
Mage Robes
Map of the Kingdom of Gnod
Spells:
Hulk Smash!
Erectus Maximus
Tentacles

Oh, crap.
Update to Inventory
Two Jars of Sweet "Nectar"
I'll be back at 12 through 3 tomorrow (eastern standard time) Goodnight everybody.

>>1256307
Wait, she's able to carry her prey with her? How does it work? I thought she required the forest to sustain her "network".
Does she have kilometer long vines sneaking behind her?

This could be a bit of a problem when we reach the town. Does she have to be eating constantly all the time? Or can she stop when we approach civilization?
If not we'll have to enter the village on our own and return to her with the necessary provisions (though I'm not sure they make warm clothing for kilometer long vines).

>>1256354
No, they're more or less from her body. The vines are pretty much grabbing any wild-life in about a half mile radius behind you. And you more or less have a massive floating, writhing mass of vines constantly churning and consuming anything that gets tossed in about... a quarter mile behind you. The only reason you can really hear it is due to the sheer mass of animals being thrown in, including insects, mice, large game. Anything non-human. It shouldn't be a problem, she could hide her vines under ground. The only thing that'll be an issue is if anyone goes to investigate the screams and notices the garden. But it'd take them some time to find it... so.
It won't be an issue, it's mostly just going to be a comedic device, although it could come to play in future encounters, won't be an issue as far as civilization goes though

>>1256371
Haha, I see then.

Well then, thanks to our determination, inventive, the gods of dice and, of course, OP's storytelling, I would say this quest has gotten off to a resounding success. Hurray everyone!

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>>1256175
>>1256208

Its a good thing we bothered to study before we left!

>>1256371

Looking forward to it! Thanks for running OP, this'll be a !!!FUN!!! Quest, I can tell.

> http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/40d:Losing

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You notice the sound of a school bell in the distance and the sounds of children as the sun rises along the horizon. Faintly you can see the outline of a wooden barricade and what appears to be a gate. It appears you've made it to [green] [b] Pacivillage! [/b] [/green] as you reach the gate [red] two guards wielding pikes [/red] charge towards you while shouting! [red] [i] "Stand ho thee with foul intentions! If 't be true thou art not a pacifist we shall beest f'rc'd to. kindly asketh thee to leaveth! [/i] [/red] Apparently, those within the kingdom have a rather strange manner of speaking. But from what you can gather, it seems that they are asking you to leave if you're not a pacifist... Although they themselves can't force you to comply as they themselves are pacifists.
[red] What shall you do Priapus? [/red]
>You're technically a pacifist... so far, so simply reassure them you're one.
>Lie and say that you're here on Official Forest Ambassador Business, they might treat you with more respect
>Attack these foul knaves for speaking to you in such a rude manner
>Write In

It appears using x-finity has made them assume I'm on a different ip than last night. Grand!
Time for colorless text adventure then

>>1259415
>You're technically a pacifist... so far, so simply reassure them you're one.

>>1259415
>You're technically a pacifist... so far, so simply reassure them you're one.

>>1259415
>You're technically a pacifist... so far, so simply reassure them you're one.

>>1259415
>they themselves can't force you to comply as they themselves are pacifists.
Well, if that's true then
>Stare wide eyed for a moment, the burst out laughing and boldly walk in, deliberately shoulder bumping at least one of them.

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You simply tell them you're a pacifist and enter the village, they shrug and shout a series of "Ho's!" and "Verilys!" as you pass by. You've now entered Pacivillage, an utmost generic village with an overlying theme of pacifism and medieval boredom. Strangely however, everyone wields weapons, including the children, as a form of intimidation. As expected there is a booming weapons business, catered to selling some of the scariest looking (yet most ineffective) weapons across the kingdom! There's also an inn, schoolhouse and a brothel in addition to a simple farmer's market. Beyond that are generic wood and straw residences that make your cottage look like a castle in comparison.
Where to Sir Knight?
>The weapons shop, for sheer intimidation obviously
>The Inn, take a breather, get drunk, have some fun times with Veronica in your room
>The Schoolhouse, you doubt they have any tomes or anything magical, but it never hurts to learn
>The Brothel, because making Veronica insecure sounds fun, also sex.
>The Farmer's Market, we could find some odds and ends, who knows what might be hidden in the mediocrity
>Write In

>>1259586
>>The Inn, take a breather, get drunk, have some fun times with Veronica in your room

>>1259586
Let's see, the weapons are crap, we have no need for the inn as we are rested and fed.
The schoolhouse could have some surprises, but I'm kind of wary of a pproaching it with a naked dryad following us (just seems to invite toruble).
The brothel is beneath us, we don't need to pay for love.
Farmer market seems unlikely to provide anything of value.

Screw it, schoolhouse. You never know where a magic tome might be hiding.

>>1259586
>>1259617
*Oh snap! I almost forgot about the extra warm clothing!
And I was the one who remarked that >>1256208

To the market then!

>>1259634

Good thinking !

>>1259586
>The Farmer's Market, we could find some odds and ends, who knows what might be hidden in the mediocrity