Ross

>>1253815
we've got cash?

Let's do what we always do. Buy some bird porn.

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>>1253816

Jackpot! This one's a classic within the bird community. The great tit has a nice set of knockers, making them highly desired within the industry.

>>1253818
Just lets hope Chad the crow won't come and take it away then

[CANCELLED DUE TO ACCIDENT THAT NEEDS URGEN ATTENTION]

[Okay ladies and gents, here's what the fuck happened. Lead connected to tablet got fucked up, so it won't work until a replacement comes. Until then, quality is REALLY gonna dip]

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>>1253819

"Someone say my name? Oooh, Great Tit porn! I want in, man."
You just HAD to summon the birdman who's got a porn problem!

>>1253834
Oh heck, it's Chad, and he's drawn terribly!

Get away Chad! Is there something around us we can use as weapons?

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>>1253837
When in doubt, whip out the double-bird!

Rolled 1 (1d6)

>>1253838
Fuck you Chad!

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>>1253840
He screams.

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Chad has become a monstrosity!

>>1253864
Give him the good ol' one two

>>1253864
Make passionate love to him.

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You attack him from behind. God damn that's a firm ass.

>>1253879
climb inside the ass

>>1253879
Start working out so your ass is just as powerful

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Houston, we have a problem. Your arm is stuck up a man-bird-monster's ass and it has a firm grip around your hand. Also you're fairly sure Chadbomination has a boner.

>>1253886
Push harder until you get through to the other side and kill this son of a bitch

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>>1253888
Okay, you're in Chad's anus. And you're not alone.

>>1253890
Climb inside the anus of whatever is in there with you.

>>1253890
light a match to see what it is

>>1253890
Oh fuck check stats

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Holy shit this is like the TARDIS. There's a giant...toy...and a gnome with you. Apart from smelling like shit, the gnome has a hint of beef on him.

>>1253903
Pleasure yourself with the gnome then proceed to climb up further in chad's intestines then to his mouth since his asshole is sealed shut, it seems. Take the gnome

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Here are Ross' current stats.

>>1253911
Play a tune for the gnome on your triangle

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Instructions unclear.

>>1253916
God fucking damnit

Burst out of chad's stomach like a fucking xenomorph, or chest, idk

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WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, CHAD?!

>>1253921
Eat chad

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Bird flesh tastes so...nice. Maybe you don't need to spend cash to have fun for today.

>>1253932
Look inside the porn magazine. You see that there's a contest to see who can find the holy grail. The winner gets to fuck the hottest bird girl in the land, Lala Flamingo

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It seems legit! There's only one place you know that has the Holy Grail, but it's gonna be tricky recovering it. Grab your hat, you're following the footsteps of Indiana Jones!

>>1253954
You decide that you should go to the library and do some research before you go on such a journey.

>>1253954
we'll get a top hat, not a fedora

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Okay, good news and bad news, also two bits of good news.
Good news: it's believed the grail is in the same place as it was in the movies.
Bad news: you'd need a partner to help crawl into the chasm it fell into.
Good news: You could always claim one of the fake grails that kills whoever drinks from it.
Good news: you look fancy in a top hat.

>>1253979
Okay, we'll go into a seedy tavern and see if we can get a bad ass sidekick.

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You enter the Drowning Bee. You open the door in a dramatic way, and all three inhabitants of the bar stare at you, thinking you're a fucking moron.

>>1254001
assert your dominance and kiss black face red eyes

>>1254001
look for somebody with power armour

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>>1254006
You kiss the figure, who introduces himself as Murph. The floating eye informs you that Murph is a cannibal.
You whisper to Murph that you need help with something. He nods.

>>1254012
Do giant cannibals need power armour? Ah well, it won't matter.

>>1254013
Murph falls in love with you but pretends he doesn't care about you at all

File: animemurph.png (5KB, 442x458px) Image search: [Google]

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[Okay, artist here. Murph, Ross and the gnome were from an animation I did for college. Now I want to draw anime Murph, just to fill in a reply. You're welcome.]

>>1254026
okay, check Murph's stats

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>>1254038
Here are Murph's stats. He seems decent.

>>1254047
Murph, lets buy you a rad scythe.

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Behold! The Septic Scythe!

+29ATK, chance to poison enemies!

>>1254064
good stuff, let's get to Ad Deir

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Fucking dammit there's already someone there.

>>1254100
kill the donkey

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A donkey approaches! What will you do?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QY1Vetd7OCs

>>1254121
Flying bird kick for Ross
and Scary Face for Murph

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>>1254133
Ross deals 170 damage to the donkey!
Murph stuns the donkey for 2 turns!
Donkey cannot move, and is seriously injured.

>>1254147
Murph absorbs the injured Donkey and grows donkey ears.

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+90XP
ROSS GREW TO LEVEL 20!
+33HP
+21ATK
+12DEF
+22SPD
+30MP

MURPH INHERITED SUPER HEARING!

>>1254172
Murph hears a sound coming from inside the temple. He decides to investigate.

Ross curses Murph for absorbing the donkey, he wanted to eat it.

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Murph found someone hanging onto a ledge for dear life. This shmuck had the same idea as you.

>>1254186
Piss on them, then save them

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>>1254198
You heartless fuck. It was an old man all along who has no idea how he got here.

>>1254224
Ross kicks the old man off the cliff and takes his cane.

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>>1254248
This is stupid.

>>1254224
Ask him how he got there

>>1254172
oh shit Murph, where's your scythe?

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>>1254268

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>>1254274
It's in his inventory, don't worry.

>>1254277
You realize you like his beard so you fly down and rip it off of him

>>1254283
Pee on him some more

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>>1254291
You piss onto the corpse of the old man. For a moment, you forgot why you were here.

>>1254357
alright, so how about that holy grale now?

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>>1254439
Here are your two options. Whichever gets the most votes is the route to go down.

>>1254463
Real Grail naturally

fake grail

>>1254514
I'm willing to fight this guy

After an hour of consideration, the choice is clear: a coin flip from the artist! Or...a fight to the death!

THE COIN HAS SPOKEN! IT LANDED ON TAILS!

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Time to beat the shit out of another old man.

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Three trials later, Ross and Murph made it to the Grail Room. An old man turns to you, confused. "Who the fuck are you?" You hear his old voice say.

>>1254782
We're the piss suppliers.

Piss on the guy

>>1254782
I'm the guard taking the next shift. Go ahead and take your break

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>>1254867
He doesn't buy it. So you unleash a torrential wave of piss.

>>1254877
Beat him to death while screaming "HOW OLD ARE YOU? TELL ME HOW FUCKING ANCIENT YOU ARE!"

We like killing old men.

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>>1254888
The deed is done. There's no way he could recover from that.
Also, he was almost 900.

>>1254929
>>1254929
this was the greatest kill of our life then.

We take the shotglass and get out of here

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>>1254975
You slam the fake grail at the desk of the Great Tits(TM) manager. It turns out you were the only person who's bothered to apply. So, it looks like you're ready to claim your sweet reward.

>>1255023
piss in the glass and take a swig

>>1255060
maintain eye contact while doing that

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>>1255060
>>1255085
The manager remains silent for 5 minutes until he pipes up.
"Uh, your date with Lala is tonight at 8, Hotel Chlamydia. Ask for the red light suite."

>>1255102
Ask the guy if he wants to keep you company until then.

>>1255105
seconded

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>>1255105
He blushes, flattered at the offer. "It's a sweet offer, but I'm devoted to my job... Do you think I'm...attractive?"

>>1255123
Depends how old and how much piss?

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>>1255130
"I-I'm 27! And uh...my pee is mostly blood..."

>>1255143
absolutely disgusting way too old beat this man to death

Chad returns

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>>1255156
His body was like paper: mangling it was easy. These are dark days for Great Tits(TM).

>>1255173
Make sure theirs no niggers or kikes in thee vecinity

>>1255173
are there no consequences in this world? Get a policeman.

We need some thrill.

>>1255190
changing my vote to this

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>>1255190
>>1255205
"Hey, what's all the commotion? I smell blood!"

The cop looks you dead in the eyes and squints. "You killed that man, didn't you?"

>>1255211
No sir, it was Chad!

(sharpen your shiv behind your back.)

Check the dinocop's stats

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>>1255219
Here's the dinocop's stats. For a low-level thief, his ability is diabolical. That's how he passed through the academy.

>>1255269
touch his butt

>>1255269
Have Murphy eat the body secretly

>>1255269
Ross uses his charisma and asks a series of personal questions to win him over

Ask him how old he is

Offer him a drink pf piss from the fake chalice.

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[The writer of this comic is extremely tired and busy, resulting in a sudden dip in productivity. It's uncertain if/when things will pick up again]
[In the meantime, resume your lives. If anything happens, expect it to go exactly as the Internet commands.]