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Anonymous
/qst/ Adventure Thing, part 9 2017-03-06 06:28:22 Post No. 1235989
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/qst/ Adventure Thing, part 9 2017-03-06 06:28:22 Post No. 1235989
[Report] Image search: [Google]
Oh shit nigger it's a /qst/ adventure thing. That I'm pretty sure I saw someone did before and I'm ripping them off but I can't remember the name so I can't credit them. Yea.
6 persons form an adventuring party in a nondescript generic fantasy land. Each with their own colour code for my convinience: Red, Green, Blue, Yellow, Teal, Orange and Purple.
Each chacacter needs at least 1 player to be the voices in their head to tell them what to do n shit. And the party only needs 4 active members. The rest are part of the Backup Reserve Formation.
Just give yourself a name with the character's team color to identify which person you belong to. Ex: "Red Faggot"
The party's current quest is to slay a pirate: Captain Murderbeard
Currently, they need a ship in order to pursue the bearded fiend.
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
Why do you do this to me. It's 1:30 AM and I have to go to bed.
See you in 8 hours.
>>
>>1235989
sob for our fib
he didn't deserve this, the realize you are the last of the originals...
>>
Reporting.
I'm sad, OP.
Why you kill everybody off?
>>
>>1235995
i cri evrtiem
>>
>>1235997
My murderboner needs sastifaction
>>
>>1236002
I'll be back to murder more teammates unintentionally in a while. Rip green manlet.
>>
>>1236004
All your fault.
>>
>>1236004
Let us take a moment to mourn the lost of a former party member, a goblin stoner named Fib Smogee, who ahd shit hair.
>>
>>
>>
File: 1487842320867.png (10KB, 500x500px) Image search:
[Google]
10KB, 500x500px
>>1235997
never forget
>>
>>1236014
>>1236016
Mournings were had
>>
Now, how's about getting me a paladin?
[CONTINUED SCREAMING]
>>
>>1236023
I miss him too, Ranger.
>>
>>1236032
Armok the Dwarven Defender who unfortunately contracted a disease that rots his skin until he's nothing but a skeleton, asks the party to find a paladin to heal him. Sadly nobody answers while he screams as his life is now a constant state of agonizing pain
>>
>>1236040
driving
>>
>>1236040
Check our inventory real quick.
If I stop posting suddenly, assume I've passed out. It's one in the morning and I have work tomorrow.
>>
>>1236040
Pray to orc monk god to make sure Fibs soul goes to druid heaven
>>
>>1236065
>>1236072
Yes you do that
>>
>>1236076
So did we get our money back for that ship or not?
[ENDLESS SCREAMING]
>>
>>1236076
Remember Orcina and worry you might not go back home again
>>
>>1236084
she was the orc slut
every one had her ride.
>>
>>1236093
Stfu Clackie ur only mad she didnt go to orc monk prom with you
>>
>>1236080
Of course not. Murderbeard took it
>>1236084
Parma avenida
>>
>>1236100
no I had orcilla, after I got an Orc blow job from orcina
>>
>>1236102
Welp, time to go back for that other ship we planned to rent.
Unless there's anything else we need to do here.
>>
>>1236106
So that's what you call your right hand
>>
>>1236102
rent a boat for 2 days and go to port 9
>>
>>1236106
Orcilla the Gorilla? Your taste in orc girls is shit
>>
>>1236109
only when she puts on make up, the whore
>>
>>1236113
I loled
>>
>>1236114
So lotion.
>>
>>1236118
I don't wanna be peeling my potato
>>
>>1236118
Kek
>>
>>1236108
>>1236110
ANYWAY, THE PARTY RENTED A BOAT
>>
>>1236125
let's take a look at our heroes on their fantastic voyage.
>>
>>1236119
This is only friendly bickering between rivals, nothing personal about it
>>
>>1236125
Armok screams at the fish.
>>
>>1236147
this wasn't in the brochure
>>
>>1236147
Put fists in water and start casting chi blast to speed up
>>
>>1236147
What the fuck is that?
>>
>>1236132
I'm joking.Orcina is mine.
>>
>>1236153
NOOOOOOO dont say that!
>>
>>1236152
This will backfire horribly.
But on the offchance it doesn't, good thinking.
>>
>>1236154
I thought you weren't a dyke
>>
>>1236149
You said "a boat". You didn't specify which boat
>>1236152
Yes oka->>1236153
An oversized bucket
BUT SINCE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT, ROLL 1D6 TO FIND OUT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
6: Oh wait it's just a fish
4-5: An angry fish
2-3: Fishmen
1: An ancient Evil
>>
>>1236156
I goof'd.
>>
>>1236162
damn you op fairy!
>>
>>1236163
yes you did.....
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1236162
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1236162
[SUSPENSEFUL SCREAMING]
>>
>>1236164
Why do you claim Orcina as your own then kikedyke?
>>
>>1236173
Aren't you a fag?
>>
>>1236171
OH SHIT, FISHMEN
[Fish talk]
Translation:
"Halt, landfuckers. You're in Fishmen territory"
"Do not resist or we'll kill you and eat your livers"
>>
>>1236177
No, I'm a manly orc. But orc monk god forbade me from doing manly orc things because they were gey
>>
>>1236181
halt
soooooo what's up?
>>
>>1236181
Speed away with chi blasts
>>
>>1236181
K then. Can we go around?
>>
>>1236181
Yeah but I'm a gal o da sea!
Doesn't that count for anything?
>>
>>
>>
>>1236187
you fucking idiot
>>
>>1236195
Yea of course, taking a bath with your orc bros, chilling in the cool spring waters, discussing the local orc girls
>>
>>1236197
might as well help with the chi blasts so we can get to port 9 faster
>>
>>1236197
[SCREAMING]
>>
>>
>>1236212
If I'm a faget then you're a dyke
>>
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1236208
>>1236209
>>1236212
>>1236218
Roll 1d6
The fishmen has a +3 Water Bonus
>>
>>1236216
I new we should have gotten the hat with "NOT A LESBIAN ON IT"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236225
this was a bad idea Ree
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1236225
The Ship o' Screams can't be beat.
>>
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1236225
Aim chi blast at water to propel upwards, then use Gobbolina's hat as a parachute
>>
>>1236234
That would achieve nothing.
>>
>>1236240
Trip.
>>
>>1236231
Turns out it can. THe fishmen pierces the "ship" with their tridents. Locking it down and leaking water in.
>>
>>1236245
Climb on top of Clackie and try not to drown as we are the smallest hetero here.
>>
>>1236248
You're the fucking sailor.
You figure a way outta this.
>>
>>1236245
waaaaaiiiit
let's talk about this
>>
>>1236245
Forgive our idiot comrade.
He tends to act before he thinks.
>>
>>1236253
We can use you as a raft after our oversized bucket is drowned.
>>
>>1236259
I'm wearing a suit of full plate mail. I'd sink like a rock.
>>
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1236248
>>1236256
>>1236258
[Painful, but also angry and diplomatic screaming]
Roll 1d6 to attempt diplomacy
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236268
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1236268
>>
>>1236269
what the shit? I am always getting low rolls. ALWAYS!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1236268
Drunken, screaming dwarves do not make good negotiators.
But they are convincing ones.
>>
>>1236272
>>1236277
Alright. The fishmen has taken noticed of your panicked screeching and stopped their stabbings of your "boat".
What do you say to them?"
>>
>>1236285
We have no clue these waters were yours. As you might be able to tell by our 'vessel', we can't readily control it's direction of motion.
Also, I need to see a paladin or I'm about to fucking die.
>>
>>1236285
we apologise for our stupid friend we are on our way to port 9 to heal this other stupid friend.
>>
>>1236286
>>1236287
>>1236291
[Contemplating fish noises]
>>
>>1236293
ask these 'Sea men' how they reproduce
I mean do the females lay eggs and males spray jizz all over it like actual fish?
>>
>>1236295
I slap a hand over Jet Ree's mouth.
As we were saying, please ignore him.
>>
>>1236295
[Insulted fish noises]
For bringing up an inappropriate subject, the fishmen started to punch holes into the bucket again
>>
>>1236293
well what do the fish noise say?
>>
Someone needs to do something fast or this is the end of our adventure.
>>
>>1236301
BUT IT WAS OUT OF GENUINE CURIOSITY
YOU GUYS DONT HAVE SEX ED??
>>
AND NOW EVERYONE ROLL 1D6 TO NOT DROWN
>=4 TO succeed
Oh and Clackie gets a -1 due to his armor
Armok gets a -2 Due to his power armor
>>
>>1236307
One more word and I swear on me bearded mother, I'll cleave you in two.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1236308
common this is bull
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1236308
wew
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1236308
Fuck my life. Why.
[BUBBLY SCREAMING]
>>
>>1236311
this is fucking bullshit
>>
>>1236311
No this is bull
>>
>>1236315
why should I have to suffer because of some retard doing a "lol I'm so randum"
>>
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236308
boi.
>>
>>1236322
RIP
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1236319
Because there's a list of originals needing to be put on the chopping block
>>1236320
Roll 1d6 for it
Oh and grab this one too while you're at it >>1236322
>>
>>1236315
Okay, can we use that 1 to fashion a boat out of our hat?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1236325
Rolling to grab both.
[CONTINUED BUBBLY SCREAMING]
>>
>>1236326
Your fate is in the dwarf's hands now
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1236326
Yes. Or we can swim away, being a sailor. And I also have to leave. See ya.
>>
>>1236330
The dwarf in the super heavey power armor outswims the pirate and the Orc Monk
>>
>>1236325
no fuck that I put so much effort keeping him alove
>>
>>1236342
grab debris to stay afloat.
>>
>>1236346
Is there anyway we can cobble something together?
>>
>>1236344
You may escape today Clackie. But I have an especially comfy plot o' land fer ya. Be seeing you soon.
>>
>>1236352
do some perfect breaststrokes while escaping
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1236351
Everyone roll 1d6 to attempt making an emergency raft
>>
>>1236352
Leave me alone death! I have a journey to finish!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1236356
[SCREAMS OF BUILDING]
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1236355
Roll 1d6 to attempt doing some perfect breaststrokes while escaping
>>
>>1236364
Are you rolling to help build the raft or swim?
>>
>>1236364
Jet Ree did some breaststrokes, while swimming he accidentally bumped into the pieces of wood, somehow making them come together and forming a raft
>>
>>1236367
get on raft.
>>
>>
>>1236367
help party members get on raft while doing synchronized swimming moves like a fag I am
>>
Rolled 3, 1, 6 = 10 (3d6)
>>1236371
>>1236372
>>1236373
Roll 1d6
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236376
>>
>>1236378
these dice are fucking loaded what the shit?!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236376
synchronised swimming is completely acceptable sport for males right?
>>
>>1236379
That's fate nigga
sorry, I tried
>>
>>1236389
fate has been rolling against me waay too much
this is straight up bullshit.
>>
>>
>>1236378
>>1236389
Sadly Clackie failed to wake himself up
>>1236382
When you get healed.
But hey, Armok is a hero who saved the party while being in constant unimmaginable pain
>>1236384
Also Jet Ree maanged to break an arm while swimming. Roll 1d6 to not drown
Needs >= 4
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236395
I REGRET EVERYTHING
WHY AM I CURSED WITH BEING A FAG
I SHALL TRY TO SAVE PARTY WITH PURE WILLPOWER or somethin
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1236395
God damnit. I'm tempted to let him drown but that shit wouldn't be any good.
Rolling to grab his arm.
[UNENDING SCREAMS]
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236395
WE SLEEPWALK! SLEEPSWIM! HOLDING EVERYBODY UP WITH OUR TINY DYKE MUSCLES!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1236395
Whos this other teal asshole
>>
>>1236406
he has been fucking up our party is what he's doing
>>
>>1236403
by which I mean hetero muscles.
>>
>>1236406
Thank god you're here.
That nut almost got us all ded.
>>
>>1236401
>>1236406
We've managed to avoid drowning
[Victorious screams of pain]
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1236414
get on raft
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1236416
GET ON RAFT
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1236417
GIT UN RAFFFFFFTTTTT
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236418
ARRRRRRRGGGGGG UNNNNNNN RAAAAAAFFFFFTTTTT
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1236418
ez there, check my 6
>>
>>1236414
help ladies first
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1236416
Drag Clackie on raft
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236419
RAAAAAAFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT
>>
>>1236414
The irony of this is that I can't even force Jet Ree to do the paddling now, since he literally broke his arm. While swimming.
Wake up the other two.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1236423
FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1236425
fuuuuuccccccckkk
>>
Everybody is already on the raft. Clackie and Gobbolina is just passed out.
But Dice God laughs at Clackie anyway
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1236430
>>
>>1236427
man, you have saved us twice, you've carried us on your shoulders, you've been nice and you've drunk with us.
I'll get you your fucking cure if it's the last thing I'll do.
>>
>>1236434
fuck I'll take it don't know why I always roll low
>>
>>1236434
Congrats, you got a 5. Now what's the next step in your master plan?
Clackie and Gobbolina roll 1d6 to wake up. Needs >= 4.
If failed other party members might need to help.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1236437
master plan is to survive!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1236437
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1236437
WAKE UP
WAKE UP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_76uPUAgi4
>>
>>
>>1236444
Chek um
>>
>>1236451
we help paddling and use our experience of seafaring to anvigate
>>
>>1236451
Ree if you ever have a crazy voice in your head again, igore it
>>
>>1236455
Yes, please.
>>
>>1236462
Pissed off the fishmen, nearly drowning us.
>>
>>1236462
he insulted the fish men
>>
>>
>>1236454
Roll 1d6 for navigation
5-6: Hit a friendly ship
3-4: Hit an unknown island
1-2: Attacked by Murderbeard
>>
>>1236467
Fair enough. OP's like one of those genies from old stories. If you're not exactly specific with your instructions and entirely serious, he'll fuck you over at every turn.
>>
>>1236470
what if... he is a genie
>>
>>
To be fair I pissed off the fishermen with chi blast too. U can come back Bill, everyone makes mistakes
>>
>>1236475
You shut yo mouth
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236468
pray to Orc god for a miracle
also think to myself, silently: 'why are they so touchy about reproduction? Is it because of their tragic mermaid story fetish aka:NTR fetish? Or maybe it is because it is the males who carry around the eggs after females lay them in their egg pouch?'
>>
>>1236475
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw
>>
>>1236478
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLit's the big show
>>
>>1236478
welp
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1236478
>>1236485
"Whassup losers. I hope I didn't appear at a bad time or anything"
Roll 1d6 to avoid cannon fire
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1236498
for fucks sakes op
>>
>>1236498
YOU KILLED MY CREW!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1236498
[ANGUISHED SCREAMING]
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236498
evasive maneuvers
>>
>>1236470
>If you're not exactly specific with your instructions and entirely serious
Just realized you still think you can get what you want by saying it exactly correctly.
>>
>>
>>1236500
>>1236499
>>1236503
>>1236504
>>1236509
"Oh I'm sorry. What was that? Can't hear ya over the sound of your raft being blown to smithereens by my cannon balls"
You raft has been blown up.
Now choose:
- Attempt to not drown again
- Ride the explosion to jump onto his ship because that's how physics work
>>
>>1236514
Was there ever any option?
Ride the lightn-I mean explosion.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1236514
>Ride the explosion to jump onto his ship because that's how physics work
I mean fuck it, he killed my crew
>>
>>1236514
ride that explosion
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1236523
Since I forget to roll.
[CONTINUED ACROBATIC SCREAMING]
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1236528
ride the explosion!
>>
>>1236528
IMMIDIATELY THROW RUM AT THE CANONEER OF THE SHIP
>>
>>1236528
I said:
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1236530
>>1236531
>>1236532
Boarding succesful. Also rolling for rum defense
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1236534
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236534
try to do a Kung Fu panda 2 and send attack back to attacker
"What kind of pirates are you, ass pirates?"
>>
>>1236534
attempt orc meditation mumbo jumbobefore battle
>>
>>1236538
we on the boat nigga pay attention
>>
>>1236541
it should work on any projectile...right?
>>
>>1236543
not when you don't have that ability
>>
>>1236544
to be fair, that's never stopped OP to just add stuff before
>>
>>1236546
none that'd the problem as well
>>
>>1236547
true you got me there
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236537
Ya missed
>>1236546
There's no projectile at the moment.
Now feel free to allow Gobbolina to ahve a dramatic standoff with murderbeard for killing her previous crew in her backstory
>>
>>1236551
Go ahead Gobbolina it's your turn to shine.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1236551
ALRIGHT
"YOU KILLED MY CREW!"
>>
>>1236554
AS I SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE
>>
>>1236551
fight the pirate crew underlings
>>
>>1236554
Oh fuck.
[AWED SCREAMS]
>>
>>1236554
"Oh please. I've killed so many crews over the years. You can't expect me to remember them a-----Oh now I remember you. You put out my eye"
You shot him in his blind eye. Again.
>>1236557
AND NOW FOR DRAMATIC PROCEEDINGS.
Let Gobbolina fight Murderbeard 1v1 for dramatic purposes while the rest of the party deal with the other pirates?
>>
>>1236564
>Let Gobbolina fight Murderbeard 1v1 for dramatic purposes
that
>>
>>1236564
If that's what Gobbolina wants
>>
>>1236564
>Let Gobbolina fight Murderbeard 1v1 for dramatic purposes while the rest of the party deal with the other pirates?
I am not AGAINST this, but it WILL kill me.
I mean, I am up for a heroic death.
But I have 1 end, so it's gonna be that.
>>
>>1236564
maybe we should party her with Armok just in case
>>
>>1236568
but I mean, heck it, of course I need to do this.
Was a great run. A real great run.
"FUCK YOU, YOU KILLED MY FUCKING CREW"
AS I CHUG SOME GOOD OL' CAPP'N HAPPY
>>
>>1236568
your dex might save you, you want us to help we will, plus you took out one of his eyes already, we'll the blind one.
>>
>>
>>1236580
I'M SO CONFLICTED
ON THE ONE HAND I NEED TO DO THIS
ON THE OTHER HAND, DYING HAS SOME PRETTY NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ASSOCIATED WITH IT
>>
>>1236583
up to you
>>
>>1236584
yea no, was good knowing ya, I'm doing this alone.
Please get red his medication.
He so deserves it.
>>
>>1236583
Depends on what's more important to you. Honor or Survival?
Make your choice, my nigga.
>>
>>1236588
Good luck m8.
>>
>>1236588
Take care Captian.
>>
>>1236588
AND SO GOBBOLINA STEPS UP, ENGAGING IN HER FATED DUEL WITH MURDERBEARD.
MURDERBEARD STATS:
STR: 9
DEX: 6
END: 8
INT: 2
CHA: 4
Skillz:
- Cannon Volley: Orders his cannons to rain pain upon his enemies
- Sucker Punch: If winning a defensive roll, have a chance to stun opponent
- Shoot: a ranged attack
- Double Shoot: Pulls out both his pistols and fire
- Taunt: Taunt enemy to be an asshole
Debuff:
- Bleeding from blinded eye: Each turn has a chacen of one of the following happening: Lose 1 HP or Lose accuracy when attacking
>>
>>
>>1236602
THROW RUM AT HIM.
>>
>>1236602
F
advice for blue to engage in QTE one shot kill with power of her comrades
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236606
OH SHIT A BOTTLE
Roll 1d6
>>
>>1236609
OH SHIT BLUE DON'T FUCK IT UP
>>
>>1236606
don't forget you got bombs too
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1236609
THIS IS THE MOMENT WHERE I WISH THAT QST ROLLING WAS A LITTLE MORE RANDOM THAN IT IS
>>
>>1236614
yeah, but for now, a 50/50 chance of him punching his own dick is very very good.
>>
>>1236609
>1
If he keeps rolling like this you've got it in the bag.
>>
>>1236621
just don't forget the bombs mate
>>
>>
Rolled 3, 1 = 4 (2d4)
>>1236616
Hit! Murderbeard is now drunk.
First roll is drunkness effect, second roll is bleeding eye effect.
First roll results:
1: Attack Him self
2: Attack Gobbolina
3: Attack Himself
4: Attack Gobbolina
Second:
1: Lose 1 HP
2: Lose accuracy for this attack
3-4: Nothing happens
>>
Dice got smiles upon bluehe'll die horribly at the end, won't he
>>
>>1236630
I missed that.
>>1236632
MURDERBEARD DRUNKENLY PUNCHES HIMSELF IN THE FACE WHILE HIS EYE SQUIRTS BLOOD.
HE HAS 6 HP LEFT
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1236640
>morally supports blue
>>
>>
I've gotta go to bed my dudes.
Good luck Gobbolina.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1236648
Roll 1d6
>>
If you win I'll start calling you hetero
>>
If I knew Yellow would be saved I'd join Blue in time of crisis
but oh well, I doubt OP will allow
>>
>>
>>1236666
It's not gay if it's yourself
>>
Rolled 4, 2 = 6 (2d4)
>>1236666
5 HP left
Anyway, same as last time.
First roll is drunkness effect, second roll is bleeding eye effect.
First roll results:
1: Attack Him self
2: Attack Gobbolina
3: Attack Himself
4: Attack Gobbolina
Second:
1: Lose 1 HP
2: Lose accuracy for this attack
3-4: Nothing happens
>>
>>1236671
oh fuck
>>
>>1236671
Wouldnt it be better to roll 2d2 OP
>>
Rolled 2 (1d3)
>>1236671
MURDERBEARD FIRES AT GOBBOLINA!
CAN SHE DODGE IN TIME?!
Roll 1d6
+6 DEX Murderbeard
+5 DEX Gobbolina
>>1236677
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Can't you repeat the question?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1236680
fek
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1236680
Give ultra spiritual dodge boost to Gobbo
>>
>>1236683
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUTlztydlIY
>>1236686
"lmao no" - Murderbeard, probably
>>
>>1236690
revive pill
let's all get in this fight
>>
>>1236690
rip in piece
>>
>>1236690
Tell Murderbeard his beard looks like overgrown pubes
>>
>>1236690
Awesome stuff.
>>
>>1236692
>>1236695
Can't do that while you're fighting the other pirates m8.
Now murderbeard gloats.
Oh and he took all the Cap'n Happypants Rum too.
>>
>>1236705
how many pirates left
>>
Rolled 8 (1d35)
>>1236706
Lessee
>>
>>1236705
man that was great though, OP, you psychotic genie fairy you.
>>
>>1236707
pretty manageable
keep killing pirates
>>
>>1236708
Like the greens. If the party survives this encounter you can rejin and roll a new one. Unless they can somehow save you, since you're only KO'd fer now.
Also, not counting a Total Party Kill. Each "color" can reroll 3 times before being gone five ever
>>
Anyway, who's left in here to take on Murderbeard and the 8 pirates
>>
>>1236712
one of them drunk! Don't forget that Muderbeard's drunko
>>
>>1236712
not enough
I blame blue teal for this shit.
>>
>>1236716
I mean teal bill
>>
>>1236715
Not anymore he's not. Drunkeness only lasts for 2 turns remember, like stun
>>
>>1236716
Oh so this is how it's gonna be huh
>>
>>1236721
Nope
>>
>>1236721
can we just ask seamen for help or something, we can murder each other later
I mean they should be around
>>
>>1236724
Yesssss. Whatcha gonna do? Run away like some sort of fag orc?
>>
>>1236726
how? we are kinda fucked here our red is in bed our teal potato is missing, and no way to escape?
>>
>>1236727
what's the stat on the crew?
>>
>>1236728
ask help from seamen, no?
we need our grunts while we will be dealing with boss
>>
>>1236721
HEy OP, can I take over orange for now?
>>
>>1236729
Forgot my name, got home and no longer phoneposting
>>
>>1236732
Yeah sure, since Blue is no more
>>
>>1236735
isn't he is still just KO
>>
>>1236735
still KO dude.
The dragon flies up to the bird's nest!
>>
>>1236736
For the moment. So effectively Blue Team is disabled.
And it's a she
>>
>>1236739
>she
>>
>>1236729
>>1236730
Pirate stats:
STR: 4
DEX: 3
END: 3
INT: 1
CHA: 1
>>1236739
Master Betty springs into action. The HalfdragonWerewolfmanthing flies up to the ships bird nest.
>>1236740
The goblin's a female. It's canon. Like how Richard's a gay elf and how barbarians are all homos who like to shove rocks up their asses.
>>
>>1236740
can ranger go purple if he wants to?
>>
>>1236744
if OP will allow
>>
>>1236744
Sure but when is that gonna happen
>>
>>1236743
okay, so now I'm gnawing off the bird nest at the stem to drop it down into the sea
>>
>>1236746
do iiiittttt
>>
>>1236743
>The goblin's a female. It's canon. Like how Richard's a gay elf and how barbarians are all homos who like to shove rocks up their asses.
Suuuuuuuuuuuure
>>
>>1236750
You doubt my canon?
>>
>>1236748
"EY! WHAT'S THAT THING DOING UP THERE?"
>>1236753
Then Team Purple is disabled.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1236756
aw come on, it's just usual banter.
check my 6barbarians did nuthin' wrong
>>
>>1236756
chi blast the boat to make it sink
>>
>>1236758
Yeah too bad fag.
>>
>>1236756
Use Betty as distraction and unleash a barrage of punches on nearby pirate
>>
>>1236761
What did I do to deserve this, my Lord?
>>
>>1236763
disrespected canon
>>
>>1236762
Pirate has 2 HP left.
The other 7 thought that was rude
>>1236763
Being a faget
>>
>>
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>>1236768
My signed documents diagrees
>>
>>1236767
Tell them they should reconsider their life choices and make up an honest living somewhere and start a family
>>
>>1236769
that's blatant forgery.
>>
>>1236767
convince the pirates there are mermaids in the water
>>
>>1236767
If I've dropped the birds nest yet, swoop down and try to grab Gobbolina
I HAVE TO TRY
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1236770
>>1236772
"Yeah sure m8."
"Nice try faglords"
"If we coulda done that, we wouldn't been pillaging people"
>>1236774
"Wait a minute, INCOMING!"
Roll 1d6
+6 Murderbeard
+4 Master Betty
>>
>>1236776
I guess since no one will miss me cause I suck at team playing - good luck with fight
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1236776
REAAAAAAAALLLY unlikely
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1236776
but look there are THICC mermaids in the water.
>>
>>1236782
shite
>>
>>1236782
>>1236783
"lol no"
>>1236781
Don't worry. I miss you.
With every bullet so far.
>>
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>>1236785
>With every bullet so far.
should've taken some points from Etna
>>
>>1236785
convince the pirates to mutiny
>>
>>1236785
Why are any of us fighting anyway? We should just get back to our old lives and forget all this nonsense.
>>
>>1236788
>>1236789
"Like we're gonna listen to a buncha stinkin' orcs"
" And we know stinkin'. We're pirates"
>>
>>1236790
because we aren't elves
>>
>>1236785
get up quietly and grab Gobbolina stealthily?
>>
>>1236790
Woah man you gonna get racist up in here? The only race other races should be racist against is elves, and that's justified
>>
>>1236791
"As far as you know"
"Maybe you sanded down your ears or something"
>>1236792
"Not so fast, ye mangy muttdragonmanthing"
>>
>>1236795
aw common mutiny, please?
>>
>>1236795
Why are you niggas even pirates? If you banded up and did some jobs in towns you'd earn way more gold than pirating from some poor schmucks
>>
>>1236798
"Pffft. This sucker doesn't know about our secret treasure island"
"lmao what a fag"
>>
>>1236801
If you have amassed a huge treasure why the fuck are you even pirating anymore? Just retire niggas and spend the rest of your lives in luxury
>>
>>1236795
can I at least reach into Gobbolina's trousers for one of her bombs?
>>
>>1236801
how much do you get to spend on this treasure island?
>>
>>1236803
"But raiding ships is fun!"
"Yeah!"
"Seeing them get destroyed by cannon fire gets my juices flowing"
"really activates the almonds"
>>1236804
As you reach for Gobbolina trousers, Murderbeard stops you
"Okay. I know the goblin's knocked out. But do ye think this is an appropriate time for that?"
>>
>>1236808
being a pirate sounds pretty fun....
>>
>>1236808
If you think raiding is fun why don't you enlist with a nation and become privateers? That way you can plunder without the law holding you back
>>
>>1236812
yeah, you can loot plunder and no LAAAAAAW man to hold you down
>>
>>1236812
Needs
EUREKA
FRIENDS FOREVER
montage of gobbling grog or something
with RED screaming in the background
>>
>>1236803
And that murderbeard fellow, he's just gonna kill you all and keep all the treasure to himself, why do you think he put you guys on the front-line while being way better at combat then you, he want's to gey yhe majority of you killed and then just wipe the rest so he can have all the tresure.
You should kill him now while there is 8 of you and retire on a paradise island with your riches
>>
>>1236815
or you know, continue raiding as a privateer, whatever suits you
>>
>>1236818
Ask Orc Monk God if it's permitted to join up with privateers
>>
>>1236818
don't forget to carry the 9
>>
>>1236818
2+2=4
>>
>>1236819
"What, you wanna leave the party?"
>>1236820
>>1236821
1+1 = window
>>
>>1236822
Nah I was thinking if we all could join up with Murderbeard and his boys, they seem pretty chill when they're not trying to kill you
>>
>>1236822
rock + dragon = rockophobia
>>
>>1236822
Look you guys out number Murder beard here and with our help you can become legal privateers.
>>
>>1236825
"Now that's just traitor talk"
"Yeah, don't listen to em. Traitorous swine like 'em would just betray you with betrayals Most betraying"
>>
>>1236827
is it? this murder beard here is putting you on the front lines, while he's vulnerable and is using you as a meat shield. Sounds like he's betraying you.
>>
I sure do hope nearby royal ship with knights and shit won't pass by to hear this betrayal talk
>>
>>1236828
"Not really."
"Yeah, that's just because that we were literally standing in those positions"
>>
>>1236831
so you will just keep being pirates when there is a better option?
>>
>>1236831
well he can easily prove i by stepping forward a rank or two!
>>
>>1236836
"Well okay"
Captain Murderbeard stepped Forward a rank or two. And became SUPER CAPTAIN MURDERBEARD
>>
>>1236839
Join his crew if orc monk god allows it
>>
>>1236839
wait, did he step forward or did he step up a rank?
those are two very different things. And if he did both, I wanna know.
>>
>>1236831
wait a seocond.....
can you tell us your side of the story of Gobbolina's crew?
>>
guys
guys
listen me out
guys
we need
come on listen
we needGUYBRUSH
>>
>>1236841
"Both"
SUPER CAPTAIN MURDERBEARD STATS:
STR: 50
DEX: 60
END: 80
CHA: 70
INT: 30
>>
>>1236846
You fight like a cow
>>
>>1236846
awesome. I grab Gobbolina, now that he's not here to stop me anymore, and fly to the floating crow's nest with her.
>>
>>1236847
Cows are no joke bro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxXjsQbCZR8
>>1236848
Oh no. He hit you with his energy blast.
>>
>>1236849
oh no, cleverness and deceit hasn't worked!
This is a shocking development!
>>
>>1236849
wait.... murderbeard....murdiburd....
BURDERBERGE!
Are you that jewish guy who sold shit out side our orc temple?!
>>
>>1236850
"I know right? Dontchu agree, dead and useless goblin?" "Yes I totally do"
>>
>>1236849
you actually should've let Blu fight with rhymes or something
how else to fight with pirates anyway
>>
>>1236852
rly rustles me jimmies
>>
>>1236852
can you guys cut us some slack and just drop us off at port 9 and we will help you become privateers
>>
>>1236854
"Really flim flam my jim jams"
"Hurrr hurrr hurr hurrr"
>>
>>1236859
yo, I'll have to go!
Don't die, everybody
>>
>>1236860
"Yeah whatever. Now you're all gonna walk the plank and git off mah ship" "Yeah, hurr hurr"
>>
>>1236861
too late for that
>>
>>1236862
at least give us her body back.
>>
>>1236866
"Nah m8y, Imma hang her infront of my ship. It'll be hilarious." "Yeah it will"
>>
I guess everyone went home, OP
>>
>>1236874
It's cool, I went home too.
>>
>>1236875
can you go home from home?
>>
>>1236878
Yes
>>
Welp, since nobody's left. Let's end it here and say everyone got kicked off the ship and drowned.
>>
>>1236882
For you
>>
>>1236881
shit I was working what happend
>>
REAL ROBO ADVENTURE WHEN
>>1236883
well gee, obviously.
>>
>>1236884
YOu took to long, everyone left so now everybody drowned
>>
>>1236886
aw common
are you done with this game then?
I was having a good time. can we just save and hold it off for another game?
>>
>>1236887
Of course I'm not. It was just a joke because noplayers
>>
>>1236888
phew, I am actually enjoying this, even though we are fucked right now.
>>
>>1236889
Of course. So I'll suspend it for now.
Because what is it in killing off characters if there' nobody here to experience it with.
>>
I arrivr just in time to see everyone get murderized!
Continuing when?
>>
>>1236910
Depends on how many people are in the thread
>>
>>1236970
do barbarians count
>>
>>1236970
I have awakened from my sleep. Can't believe blue took control of my unconscious body.
>>
>>1236970
I should be here all day, ready to roll a new greenz character.
>>
>>
>>1236990
>Barbarians never count unless they learn to play with others
throwing rocks at people is much much easier tho
>>
Remember that time Dick got chopped in half? Good times.
>>
>>1236994
And not letting you do anything is also easy for me. So there's that.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1236997
geez, lighten up
have a rock or something
>>
>>1236999
This rock is of low quality
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237000
I got rusty after all those years
heaaave ho
>>
>>1237002
It's the same rock
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237003
Let me have a go at it.
>>
>>1237003
well gee, where the heck I'll find one. There was huge lack of them since end of Civ thing.
That's my only one left.
Dick didn't have any rocks to throw either.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1237004
gimme back my rock
>>
So where are we right now? I'm half dragon so I can just fly right?
>>
>>
>>1237014
Basically the party is about to be pushed into the ocean.
Whoever is awake right now needs to save the rest
>>
>>1237018
I'm awake
can settle on yellows.
>>
>>1237019
oh no you wont
>>
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>>1237020
well it was worth a shot
gimme some free mind
gimme the powercome on let me in
>>
>>1237018
I've awoken from my lurking slumber!! let's do it!
ou, wait, ranger got us killed and now we are an desintegrating dwarf that somehow is Michael Phelps in power armor
>>
>>1237024
and Gobbolina is dead
>>
>>1237024
[Continued Screaming]
>>
So, what do we do to get out of this situation.
>>
>>1237018
Ok, let's make a desperate move, what do you guys think about me using rocket fist to drop his hat from his head, depriving him from his only source of respect and power among the crew?
>>
Hey homeslice I just caught up with all the threads last night. You mind if I join in as a new color or would that just overcrowd things?
>>
>>1237032
do it he's drunk right now
>>
>>1237032
I bet he has elf ears in it and his beard is fake
>>
>>1237033
we don't have purple at the moment
>>
>>1237031
Well you have wings, try carrying everyone to safety
>>1237032
Unless the party wants to follow this instead
>>1237033
If new character, Use Green. Or Blue. Since those are vacant right now. But it's best if you join any existing colors
>>
>>1237036
Yeah but purple got suspended for being gay. I was thinking if there wasn't room for another color I'd hop into the Green Zone.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237039
>Unless the party wants to follow this instead
I approve new RED's lurker's plan!
>>
>>1237039
But then we're gonna look like pussies for running away.
>>
>>1237039
Sounds good. Deal me in when you feel like it.
>>
>>1237043
Schizer, sorry, not used to namefagging.
>>
>>1237042
What if you ran away while yelling "We're not running away, we're just re-positioning"
>>1237043
>>1237044
Aight
>>
>>1237048
Hmm, you have a point. But where to reposition to. Is there anything near the ship?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237039
Rolling for my plan also
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1237051
Roll 1d6 to find thing near the ship
6: Port Town #9
4-5: An island
2-3: A hostile island
1: Sea monster
>>1237052
Murderbeard has +9 STR Bonus
You ahve +3 STR BOnus
>>
>>1237058
Roll
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1237058
Come on, knocking off hat shouldn't be that hard
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237060
kek forgot my roll
>>
>>1237065
The nearest thing you can fly to is an island full o monsters
>>1237062
THe aht itself isn't that hard to deal with. It's the guy wearing it.
>>
>>1237065
heh, better than nothing, we will have to kill that islands as tho
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1237067
AW SHIT NIGGA
well, we have no choice
we've gotta go overboard
swim to hostile island
>>
>>
>>1237073
where the fuck do you think were gonna go?
we need to find land or we will drown
>>
>>1237075
fly
>>
>>1237074
maybe that passing by paladin's ship gotta help
>>
Better make a decision quick, they're bringing out the cannon
>>
>>1237081
Fly everyone to the island.
>>
>>1237081
ORANGE, FLY US OUT OF HERE YOU FUCK
>>
>>1237075
get us outta here
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237067
Hey beard, you won, gobbolina is dead and she was the only reason we were here, could you drop us on that isl-ROcKET FIST ON HAT AGAIN! also...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>
>>1237081
what if we rocket punch cannon, will it explode?
>>
>>
>>
>>1237090
>I just want to escapeyou can't
>>
>>
AS MASTER BETTY CARRIES THE PARTY OFF , ARMOK IS HAVING BRAIN PROBLEMS. WHILE STILL SCREAMING IN PAIN.
>>
>>1237096
ROCKET FIST THE CANNON
FUCKING OTHER REDS
GOD DAMN IT
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1237097
Yeah okay
Murderbeard has +9 STR Bonus
You ahve +3 STR BOnus
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237100
okay, now we fucking escape, you idiot reds
>>
>>1237100
Oh come on, we are punching the cannon
not the murderbeard
cannon was most likely bring out by pirates
OP pls
>>
AND SO MASTER BETTY FLEW THE OTHERS OFF TO SAFETY.
While Murderbeard catches and takes Armok's right fist. Armok now only ahs 1 hand left.
>>1237102
He was standing right next to it.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1237106
holy fuck, retard reds
RUN AWAY NOW
GO TO HOSTILE ISLAND
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1237106
Rolling for showing murderbeard middle finger while we still have some control over fist
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237112
>>
>>1237115
>>1237112
"Hey look! You're flipping yourself off! whychu gonna be so hateful towards yerself m8y?"
>>
>>1237117
scream louder
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237117
RUN THE FUCK AWAY
SWIM TO HOSTILE ISLAND
IGNORE EVERYTHING FROM RED RANGER
>>
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
[Screaming in the distance]
"Wave goodbye to your previous owner, hand. Yer not gonna be seeing him again"
The pirates fire at the party.
Everybody roll 1d6
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237124
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237124
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237124
EVASIVE MANEUVERS
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237124
I blame red dwarf king for not installing forceful return mechanism
and also blame elves
>>
>>1237125
>>1237126
>>1237127
>>1237130
And so the party were shot outta the sky, crashing into the island
"Music to my ears"
"What now cap'n?"
"Set sail and find more ships to pillage. Then we'll see if we can become privateers or something"
AND NOW, TO CALCULATE THE DAMAGE DONE FROM BEING SHOT OUT OF THE SKY AND BEING SENT CRASHING DOWN INTO THE GROUND
Reds Roll 1d6
Yellow Roll 1d6
Orange Roll 1d4
Sure is lucky the others are not awake so they don't participate in getting damaged huh
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237134
[screaming gets louder]
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)
>>1237134
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1237134
>>
welp, there's enough red around now, back to the shadows
>>
>>1237140
I'll be off in 2-3 hours tho
>>
>>1237141
there's king dwarf but I bet we'll be dead by then so don't worry
>>
DAMAGE REPORT:
ARMOK HAS 4 HP LEFT
CLACKIE HAS 3 HP LEFT
MASTER BETTY MANAGED TO FLAP HIS WINGS AT THE LAST SECOND AND DID NOT CRASH PAINFULLY
THE REST OF THE UNAWAKENED PARTY ALSO LANDED OKAY
NOW IS THERE GREENS IN THE HOUSE?
>>
>>1237143
try being purple
>>
>>1237144
we're alive!
>>
>>1237144
THERE IS
>>
>>1237144
YOU CALLED DAWG?
>>
>>1237146
Are you purple?
>>1237148
OH SHIT, ON THE ISLAND THEY FIND ANOTHER ADVENTURER, ALSO CURRENTLY STUCK ON IN
[Press Start to creat character]
[Press Select to not create a character]
[Press Space to do a jig]
>>
>>1237151
START
>>
>>1237151
Space and then start
>>
>>1237152
>>1237154
FROM THE BUSHES STEPPED OUT A....
>>
Well since there's apparently another greenie should I switch over to blue?
>>
>>1237156
Get a bug
>>
>>1237151
no
I was making a suggestion
>>
>>1237157
Sure, if you want. Or you could play with him. Depends.
>>
>>1237156
Bug?
Well... I guess bug it is.
>>
>>1237161
>>1237165
Ya sure though
>>
>>1237166
awesome
>>
>>1237166
WAAAIT A SEC
MYSTERY BOX, BOYZ
>>
>>1237166
Indeed I am
>>
>>
>>1237168
it's just female verions.... I think
>>
>>1237172
But it's the mistery box!
>>
>>1237168
But you sure you wanna open it though. You might get disappointed.
>>
>>1237180
Ka poot
>>
>>1237183
aw shit, barbs comes with a hat
>>
>>1237183
GIANTS
GIANTS
GIANTS
BECOME UNSTOPPABLE
>>
>>1237186
Ya sure m8
>>
>>1237188
100% sure boss.
But how much giant we're talking?
Like GIANT giant or slightly-bigger-than-a-tall-human giant?
>>
>>1237199
>inb4 giant manlet
>same sized as human
>>
>>1237199
He's a big guy
>>
>>1237204
CHOOSE PALADIN SO WE CAN HEAL ARMOK
>>
>>1237204
W-where are the other classes?
And shouldn't druid be crossed off?
>>
>>1237188
Bug Giant Thief
>>
>>1237205
Don't worry I got it covered
>>
>>1237210
please be bug as well
>>
>>1237206
Glitch in the system. AND MAYBE THEY'RE INSIDE THIS MYSTERY BOX I'VE HIDDEN SOMEWHERE
>>
>>1237212
Are you talking about those tiny black pixels at the bottom?
>>
>>1237212
But it ain't nowhere.
Unless it's those black pixels on the bottom.
ENHANCE IMAGE!
>>
>>1237214
top left corner, mystery box
>>
>>1237214
Top left mystery box? Or the mysterious black dot in the bottom.
>>
>>1237217
Woah, good eye mate.
>>
>>1237221
Bawls
>>
>>1237222
Skeleton Bugman
>>
>>1237222
Is the world going to meet its very first giant ninja?
>>
>>1237222
GIANT skellington.
The biggest xylophone to have ever lived.
I hope we can multiclass into bard, to enhance our skele-music.
>>
>>1237226
I actually want this more....good call
>>
>>1237226
Art thou totes sure?
>>
>>1237229
Mystery box. Bottom left
>>
>>1237229
Well ye- OH SHIT MISTERY BOX!
>>
>>1237236
Yea skeleton
>>
>>1237236
Man those classes look dope
>>
>>1237236
>Dark Knight
Ayo das racist mayne
But yeah, skellington
>>
>>1237239
>>1237243
[INSERT NAME HERE]
Also choose 1 stat to raise due to level scaling with the rest of the party
>>
>>1237248
ChA for skeleton dance
>>
>>1237243
So if he's a skelly how can he die.
>>
First to never get murdered character cause everyone knows you can't kill a skeleton is coming up
>>
>>1237248
Name: Calcium Fortified
>>
>>1237248
Name: Lord Calcicus
+1 to Dex for that sweet skele dance and so we don't get murderfucked by murderbeard
>>
>>1237252
For balancing porpoises, skeletons after getting all their HP reduced to 0 will have one chance to reform themselves. If they fail then they get reduced to a pile of useless bones. That's how they get KO'd.
They die if the bones are destroyed.
>>
>>1237263
Can skellies be healed just like anybody else?
>>
>>
>>1237266
Calcius Fortified
>>
>>1237266
Actally, we can call him Calfort.
Calcius Fortified
>>
>>1237269
>>1237271
Uh huh, which stat is it
>>
>>1237271
Neat
>>
Did I die?
>>
>>1237274
Dex for skeledance
>>
>>1237276
No, just asleep
>>
>>1237274
Dex it up
>>
Will our new member make lots of skeleton puns?
>>
>>1237288
I damn hope he will
>>
>>1237288
YES
HUMERUS puns!
>>
>>1237279
>>1237281
Very well. Choose 1 skill from the rightmost column to learn
>>
>>1237291
XYLOPHONE!
>>
>>1237291
Xylophone
>>
>>1237292
>>1237293
AND SO, A GIANT SKELETON POPPED OUT
>>
>>1237294
ummn hey wazzup
>>
>>1237294
loud screaming
>>
>>1237294
GREETINGS FLESHBAGS!
READY FOR SOME GOOD OLD RIBBING?
>>
>>1237298
you don't need one
more loud screaming
>>
>>1237298
you poop?
>>
>>1237296
>>1237297
>>1237300
The giant skeleton is a skeleton of a giant, raised by some necromancer as an experiment. He was then left on this island of monsters and is honestly kinda bored because nobody else comes round these parts/
BUT PERHAPS, THERE IS SOMEBODY ELSE ON THIS ISLAND. If there's a blue ready to press Start that is
>>
>>1237305
START
>>
Can I pick up the skelly and fly, or is he too big boned?
>>
>>1237306
Well you know the drill by now.
>>1237307
He's the only one you can't pick up. Since he's a big guy.
>>
>>1237309
BUG
>>
>>1237310
Oh shit, is it the famous Bug Paladin i'm smelling right now?
>>
>>1237310
A bug...
>>
>>1237312
Man, ninja or samurai would be extremely cool but it looks like the group needs a paladin right now.
So, I'm going PALADIN.
>>
>>1237314
Right. Choose name. Choose 1 stat to raise and choose 1 farmost skill to get
>>
>>1237320
Soren Kierkegaard.
Could I get the lowdown on those abilities on the right before I pick stats/skills?
>>
>>1237323
holy shit revive?!
>>
>>1237323
Yeah okay:
- Wings: functions the same way as Master Betty's wings. Allows you to fly.
- Holy Sword: Use holy powers to conjure up a Holy Sword for your hand. Can cut up to 3 enemies at the same time
- Revive: Revive a KO'd ally. Use this on a skeleton and they get rekt
>>
>>1237326
We've already got items that revive, and Betty can fly, so I'll go with HOLY SWORD.
>>
I'm back.
Wus happenen
>>
>>1237329
And stat ?
>>
>>1237332
The party escaped the pirates and got stranded on an island. Meeting new faces.
>>
>>1237332
we lost arm
but dis is but a scratch!
>>
>>1237333
How exactly does str/dex work again? Does dex determine hit chance for EVERY attack?
>>
>>1237334
>Met new faces
Met A new FACE*
Because i have no face.
>>
>>1237338
Not really. Depending on the type of attack, different stats is used to determine the bonus. Like big tanky guys mostly use STR while fast midgets use DEX
>>
>>1237336
The loss of an arm is nothing to the dwarf who lives in eternal agony.
>>
>>1237341
Alright, I'll up my STR since I'll probably be swinging big weapons.
>>
Ok I didn't expect that we green got a giant skeleton.
Now we can bone our enemy very hard with our giant boner.
>>
>>1237344
SUDDENLY, A BUG PALADIN NAMED SOREN KIERKEGAARD APPEARS! ALSO RECENTLY STRANDED ON THIS ISLAND DUE TO A [soon to be explained backstory event], HE HAS TAKEN NOTICE OF THE FUCKHUGE SKELETON. BEING A PALADIN, HE SOUGHT TO SLAY IT, FOR JESUS.
Other colors, feel free to intervene
>>
>>1237352
[loudscreaming]
NO FIGHT
[louderscreamingincomfortablyclosetopaladin]
HEAL ME FIRST
>>
>>1237352
Hey bug dude can you chill. Not like he has a bone to pick with us.
>>
>>1237352
Give bug paladin a glass of milk as peace offering.
>>
>>1237352
Armok grabs the paladin.
"END MY PAIN, PLEASE."
>>
>>1237352
so umm bug paladin man? can you help our dwarf friend here, he is in need
>>
>>1237352
YEAH COME ON DUDE, NOT COOL. WE DIDN'T EVEN THROW YOU A BONE OR SOMETHING.
>>
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237361
LUCKILY FOR CALFORT, SOREN IS DUTY-BOUND TO HELP THE HELPLESS.
SOREN USED HOLY HEAL.
ARMOKs ROTTING SKIN REGENERATES BACK INTO NORMAL SKIN.
Armok gains a moment of peace from the pain, and stops screaming.
ONLY FOR HIS SKIN TO ROT OFF AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME THE PROCESS IS RESET TO IT'S STARTING STATE, EARNING HIM EVEN LONGER SUFFERING. THE SCREAMS GROW LOUDER
This curse is much stronger for a single paladin to cure. Perhaps if Soren brought him back to church, his borthers could chip in to help.
>>1237357
Roll 1d6 to see if you brought one with you
>>
>>1237365
[loudscreamingintensifies]
>>
>>1237365
Can I roll to see if there's anything useful we can use to get off the island.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237365
Milk is good for bones!
>>
>>1237365
[SCREAMS OF UNENDING TORTURE]
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237365
REEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>1237370
Forgot my name
>>
>>1237370
Which team are you again
>>1237371
Too bad. You left it abck in your closet.
>>
>>
>>1237380
nigga that's quite a task
>>
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1237376
Do we have a green cow with us?
>>
Since the skeleton seems intelligent and friendly, I tell him I'll spare his life as long as he swears an oath to fight evil.
>>
>>1237385
oh man it just keeps going, is there a church at port 9?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237384
Let's see
>>1237386
Soren Asks Calfort for an oath. HOW WILL CALFORT RESPOND?
Also reply to my posts with your actions, don't jsut post it like that.
>>
>>1237391
ah sorry mate
>>
>>1237391
Wat.
Why?
I'm a peaceful skele, i only fight the dumbasses that attack me.
>>
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1237396
>>1237397
[Disgruntled skeleton]
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237400
Rolling to find a cow nearby.
>>
>>1237400
I tell the skell that if he's not a villain then he should swear the oath against villainy.
>>
[loudscreaming]
CHURCH WHERE
[loudscreaming]
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237400
Yeah mate, those who hurt our cows get the bone.
>>
>>1237400
ok so I think we are actually in agreement with out agreeing
>>
>>
>>1237412
scout the island by climbing skeleton and looking from the top of his head
>>
>>1237412
at least this is better than the ranger...
>>
>>1237412
Rolling to find goats. Goats have milk too.
>>
>>1237412
Yeah sure that sounds like an oath to me.
Let Armok know that I've got a church but it's not on this island so we need to find a way off.
>>
>>1237417
>zero
No goats are found
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237417
Fuck forgot to roll.
>>
>>1237418
AND SO NO UNEEDED BATTLE TOOK PLACE
>>1237416
>>1237414
Also Armok wants to climb ontop of Calfort. Note that Armok may fall
>>1237420
>6
AND SO A GOAT WAS FOUND.
Now roll 1d6 to see what kinda goat
6: A normal goat
4-5: An angry goat
2-3: A monster goat
1: An immaginary goat
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237424
Hopefully a goat with lots of milk for our bony friend.
>>
Ask the paladin if he has a boat off the island. We need to see this church.
>>
>>
>>1237424
We put Armok inside our skull, he will get nice view from our empty eyesocket?
And also I roll if we have comfy room inside our skull.
>>
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237431
Forgot to roll
>>
>>1237434
kek
>>
Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d6)
>>1237426
OH SHIT AN ANGRY GOAT
>>1237434
You're against my first roll
>>1237432
You're against my second
Also Armok mounted Master Betty
>>
>>1237439
Charge forth my noble steed!
[SCREAM OF WAR]
>>
>>1237439
Hey Armok, want to fight an angry goat and get some milk from it?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237439
NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS
>>
>>1237439
>Also Armok mounted Master Betty
GRAB PALADIN AS CHURCH COMPAS
FLY TOWARDS CHURCH
FLY FASTER YOU FOUL BEAST
[COMMANDINGLOUDSCREAMING]
scream at a goat as well
>>
>>1237442
>>1237448
Yeah you mounted him alright
>>1237444
Ya got no room
>>1237447
And Ya got no boat
>>
>>1237452
ARE WE THERE YET
[SCREAMINGINTOORANGEEAR]
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237452
Charge the goat and bite. Join me in the fight midget friend.
>>
>>1237452
meditate this may take a while
>>
>>1237452
Keep distance from Armok because I don't wanna get grabbed.
Also, "hey bros let's search the island, maybe there's buried treasure I can donate to my church, or like a raft we can use to get off. Since obviously we can't expect one person to fly for hours while carrying several people in heavy armor on their back."
>>
>>1237452
Strange... I think we got a room inside our skull... Damn you lying jew!!!! We want back our 100 gold coins!!!!
>>
>>1237458
>he trusted Todd
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237454
Charging at goat
You get +4
Goat gets +2
>>1237456
Clackie Meditates
>>1237457
Soren suggests a plan of action, the others following it though is another matter
>>1237458
Somewhere, a skelejew is rubbing his bony hands together smugly
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1237460
CHAAARGE AT GOAT YELLING "ARE WE THERE YET"
>>
>>1237462
>>1237460
The goat beats both Betty and Armok at charging.
Both loses 1 HP
Master Betty: 3 HP
Armok: 4 HP
Armok also loses 1 HP due to deathrot
Armok: 3 HP
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237460
Rolling to slash goat from atop noble steed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237464
Charge in again and bite.
>>
>>1237464
Ayo what the fuck. Goats make milk guys, you shouldn't kill them like that.
>>
>>1237464
What kinda stats does this goat have?
>>
>>1237464
[loudscreaming]
HEAL
>>
>>1237470
Okay then. If skele can convince the goat to chill then I'm good. Got better things to be doing anyway. LIKE FINDING A CHURCH.
>>
>>1237464
I wanna fight goat too
>>
>>1237464
Calfort uses XYLOPHONE! I don't know what that does, but i'm hoping it will calm the goat.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1237465
>>1237469
You already had your turn. Now it's the goats.
And it's aiming at you, Betty
+4 YOu
+2 It
Also you already rolled a 1, no takebacks
>>1237471
STR 2
DEX 3
END 2
INT 1
CHA 1
I mean it's a goat ya know
>>
>>1237478
must fight goat
>>
>>1237480
And piss off the giant skeleton? Are you mad?
>>
>>1237478
Hey man, goats are tough. They'll eat anything.
Holy Heal on Armok.
>>
>>1237478
Damn, I'm getting my ass kicked by a goat.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237478
>>1237484
Indeed you are
MASTER BETTY HAS 2 HP LEFT
So who's joining in again?
>>
>>1237486
It depends. Can i use xylophone to calm the goat?
>>
>>1237486
If he can't calm the goat with xylophone Armok will attempt to slash the goat.
>>
>>1237487
Yeah
>>
>>1237492
THEN I DO THAT
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237493
Roll 1d6 to use your ribs as an xylophone
You have +3 CHA bonus
Goat has +1
>>
>>1237505
OP's dice are loaded.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1237505
This goat man.
This fucking goat.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237505
Behold our love for MILK!!!!
>>
>>1237510
Success.
Goat calmed down.
>>
>>1237514
get someone able to milk it
>>
>>1237514
Whoops forgot pic
>>
>>1237518
SCREW MILK CHURCH WHEN
>>
>>1237514
HAHA!
CHECK THIS OUT, FLESHBAGS!
https://youtu.be/xYsfIYUV4Gk
I'M KNOCKING THE "G" OUT OF GRAVEYARD!
>>
>>1237521
Agreed. Master Betty can't carry us all. We search the island.
[INQUISITIVE SCREAMING]
>>
>>1237518
Do we have anything to hold the milk?
>>
>>
>>1237534
[loudscreaming]
>>
>>1237521
"hey bros let's search the island, maybe there's buried treasure I can donate to my church, or like a raft we can use to get off. Since obviously we can't expect one person to fly for hours while carrying several people in heavy armor on their back."
>>
>>1237534
we could just make a sail out of those bamboo sleeves
>>
>>1237538
I'VE LIVED HERE FOR A BUNCH OF TIME, FOLLOW ME GUYS!
>>
>>
>>1237538
Milk the goat before we leave. Calcium is important.
>>
>>1237541
ALRIGHT I JOIN THE SKELEMAN IN HIS SEARCH OF THE ISLAND
ALSO "HEY GUYS BONES DON'T FLOAT"
>>
>>1237542
DUDE.
NO.
NOT COOL.
>>
>>1237544
go with the healer
>>
>>
BEFORE EVERYBODY LEAVES. MASTER BETYY MILKS THE GOAT.
Oh hey this is a male goat.
>>
>>1237554
they get married
>>
>>1237554
Give the "milk" to skeleton.
>>
>>1237554
Luckily Soren was too busy praying to see this vile act.
We rolling for exploration?
>>
>>1237554
go with healer, enjoy jacking off a male goat betty
>>
>>1237554
BETTY, YA NASTY.
>>
>>1237554
Male goat...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUtSazFb5qM
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237559
Ye m8.
Rolling to find something useful.
[SCREAMS]
>>
>>1237557
>>1237561
WILL CALFORT ACCEPT THIS "MILK"?
>>1237563
USING HIS SCREAMS AS SOME SORT OF ECHOLOCATION, ARMOK DISCOVERED A CAVE
>>
>>1237566
EXPLORE SAID CAVE
>>
>>1237566
what's in this caaave
>>
>>1237566
I hear goat milk (male) is very low in calcium, Calfort probably wants to stay away.
Also, cave is good idea let's go inside.
>>
>>1237566
Dump the "milk" on Master Betty.
That's what you get for killing Fib, YOU GOAT BONECHEWER!
#NeverforgetFib2017
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237566
Dude... that is gay... But thank anyway...
And then we toss the "Milk" away.
>>
>>1237566
"INTO THE CAVE MY COMPANIONS."
>>
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237585
>>
>>1237585
How far into the enemy levels is the party?
It feels like they left the tutorial area 3 threads ago.I'll join eventually not now though
>>
>>1237587
Oh shit a good roll
>>
>>1237587
THE LORD SMILES UPON YOU
>>
>>1237587
>Forgot to add my name
That was lucky roll, I hope we can find cool magical item.
>>
>>1237588
Currently on the second quest already
>>
Yo whaddup
>>
>>1237603
Gross
>>
>>1237601
Don't cramp my style, new guy.
>>
>>1237605
Dude I was part of original Blue squad
>>
>>1237587
OH SHIT A TREASURE CHEST.
Now roll to see if it's locked or not
1-4: It's locked
5-6: It's not
>>
>>1237610
DON'T CRAMP MY STYLE, NEW GUY
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237613
>>
>>1237614
YOURE THE NEW GUY FAGGOT
REMEMBER BING BINGIE 2017-2017
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237613
>>
>>1237616
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LET HIM DIE SCRUB
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237613
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237613
Hey look, it's open!
[SCREAMS]
>>
>>1237621
I WASNT THERE
I WAS AT WORK WHEN HE DIED AND 4CHAN REFUSES TO LET ME POST ON LTE DATA ANYMORE.
>>
>>1237615
>>1237619
>>1237624
>>1237625
Amazing rolls gentlemen
>>
>>
>>1237613
It's locked?
WELL, WE'RE DOING THIS THE SKELETON WAY, BOYS.
RATTLE THAT BOX, SMASH IT OPEN!
>>
>>1237628
look for a key under the chest
>>
>>1237629
I wanted paladin anyway so we can purge anyone with excuse. We should get a hat.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237628
Roll to use my fingernail to pick the lock.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237628
We shall bonepicking the lock with our bones.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237628
Jet Ree wakes up and screams obscurities
>>
>>1237634
No, I'm not going through gay hat shenanigans like with Bing. We have a dope bug face and that's that.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237628
Armok shakes the box so hard it opens.
[VIBRATIONAL SCREAMING]
>>
>>1237638
No we dont gotta steal the hat. Just if we so happen to find a hat, we deserve it.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237628
Can I whip out my Holy Sword and crack open the chest?
>>
>>
>>1237652
Is this a mimic? How would an ordinary chest resist anything?
>>
>>1237652
SMITE THE CHEST
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237652
GOOD THING I DON'T HAVE EYES, DRUNK ORC FRIEND!
>>
>>1237653
praisr lord
>>
>>1237653
Now roll 1d6 to see what you've unleashed
6: Magical artifacts
5: Gold
2-4: Shit nigga you broke that shit whhen you broke the chest
1: Accursed artifacts
>>1237658
It's less that it resists it, and more to see if the characters are competent enough to open it.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1237669
The Lord is my shepard
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237669
ONE MORE TIME
>>
>>1237682
Stop it mate you'll doom us all.
>>
>>1237673
>>1237677
>>1237682
Well whatever the chest was holding, you broke it. It's trash now.
>>
>>1237684
Take the chest remains.
>>
>>1237684
Go further into the cave and roll to find something.
>>
>>1237684
Meh, we can still use it!
I fashion a crown out of the broken chest and whatever was inside it
>>
>>1237684
Guess I don't know my own strength... Or the Lord's I guess?
Anything else inside the cave?
>>
>>1237684
inspect the trash, it might be holy
>>
>>1237684
CONTINUE THE SEARCH.
>>
>>1237690
You know OP. That shit's done for dude.
>>
>>1237693
Or worse. Definitely best to leave it.
>>
>>1237686
>>1237688
>>1237690
Oh look, the holy sword's holy energies burned the thing too. It' ash now. And then the ashes are scattered by the wind, leaving none left.
>>
>>1237697
oh op you hate filled creature you
>>
>>1237697
Pray to Bug God for guidance on our next action.
>>
>>1237697
Right, then!
Continue the search.
[SCREAMS OF ECHOLOCATION]
>>
>>1237697
Stare at the bug paladin for destroying the loot.
>>
>>1237697
keep exploring cave
Armok will be leading the charge
>>
>>1237697
Search the cave for more treasure.
>>
>>1237701
There is no Bug God. There is only One True God.
"Keep exploring, but don't explore too hard. You might find something terrible"
>>1237703
>>1237702
>>1237704
>>1237705
ROLL 1D6 FOR further CAVE EXPLORAN
6: Oh shit treasure
4-5: Oh shit traps to said treasure
2-3: Oh shit mosnters
1: Oh shit an ancient evil awakens
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237708
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237708
6 GO
>>
>>1237709
Let's try not to bust it again.
>>
>>1237709
THE HAND OF THE LORD IS UPON YOU
>>
>>1237708
Thank god for his advice. Ask his should we trust skeleton.
>>
>>1237709
YOU HAVE BEEN PROMOTED TO DESIGNATED PARTY LOOT-SNIFFER.
GOOD JOB, DORF
>>
>>1237709
OH LOOK, ANOTHER CHEST.
Roll to see if it's locked or not
1-4: It's locked
5-6: It's not
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237722
>>
>>1237722
Don't worry guys I got this one.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237722
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
>>
>>
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237725
Watch it's gonna be unlocked.
>>
To be fair, it wouldn't really make sense for someone to leave a chest unlocked.
Regardless, let's try searching around again for the key this time.
>>
>>1237729
WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU BONEHEAD
I hold the bug before he can do anything retarded
>>
>>1237729
OTHER BLUE, COME ASSIST ME
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237722
Jet Ree drunkenly bumps the chest open
>>
>>1237729
holy shit, you retard blue
we're gonna have to fuck you up if you keep FUCKING UP OUR LOOT
>>
>>1237729
No. Stop. Please.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237726
While the chest remains locked. God has some wisdom for Soren
"Judge skeletons on a case-by-case basis"
>>1237729
Lessee
>>
>>1237740
WE PRAY TO THE LORD TO HELP BLESS BLUE'S ROLL
>>
>>1237740
>>1237729
Now roll 1d6 to see what you've unleashed
6: Magical artifacts
5: Gold
2-4: Shit nigga you broke that shit whhen you broke the chest
1: Accursed artifacts
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1237743
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
I SHALL NOT WANT
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237743
LORD BE WITH ME (ALSO INTERNALLY THANK GOD FOR HIS ADVICE)
>>
>>1237746
The Lord blesses you
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237746
Now let's see what kinda magical artifact the chest was holding
1: Stat increase
2: Passive ability granting
3: Active ability granting
4: 1+2
5: 1+3
6: 1+2+3
>>1237753
That was a comment. You want the artifact to be taken away?
>>
>>1237755
Fuck yes.
>>
>>1237755
We dwarves need that shit
fucking hell good roll
>>
>>1237755
I'll let my boy Gamestop roll this one up this one.
>>
>>1237758
I mean not to having the artifact take away!
>>
>>1237762
we found BOTH chests in the first place you fucks
you ruined the FIRST one
>>
>>1237755
PRAISE THE BONE GOD!
Calfort euphorically rattles his ribs!
>>
>>1237764
It's OURS, you manlet. Shall we have to smite you? Or perhaps we won't help cure you?
>>
>>1237762
Fuck you! We found both chests damnit. You broke the last one.
>>
>>
>>1237755
THE CHEST WAS HOLDING:
ANCIENT RING OF POWER
Effects:
+1 to every stat
Passively heal 1 HP every 2 turns
Can be used to shoot lightning
+100 to secret SWAG stat
Can get you into exclusive clubs
>>
>>1237767
He's right, bugface. You broke our first chest, you owe something to the party.
>>
>>1237755
greed has come over all of you
>>
>>1237772
How do we decide who gets the ring?
>>
>>
>>1237772
SMASH THE FUCKING RING
IF WE CANT HAVE IT NO ONE CAN
>>
>>1237777
Either roll for it or have OP roll for it.I vote the latter
>>
>>1237772
I think Clackie should get the ring.
Just because he's the last original left, and deserves it for being awesome.
>>
>>1237777
Discuss it amongst yourselves, hurr hurr
>>
>>
>>
>>1237780
WAIT OKAY WE CAN JUST SELL IT!
>>
>>1237781
quiet you, the dwarf greed has taken over you
>>
>>1237785
Armok found the chest so I think he should have it
>>
>>1237790
NO THE LORD DESTINED US TO HAVE THIS RING TO BETTER HELP PEOPLE
WE MUST HAVE IT
>>
>>
>>1237788
Exactly. We lose 1 hp every turn because of our condition. That HP gain would be helpful.
>>
>>1237792
Agreed. Give ring to dorf.
Now let's get out of this cave before something bad happens.
>>
>>1237798
THE DWARF LOST HIS OWN FIST, HOW CAN HE BE TRUSTED WITH THE RING?
>>
How about we just hold onto it for now and pass it out to whoever needs it most whenever shit goes down?
>>
>>1237799
You just got in the party, how can we trust YOU?
And before you say i'm new too, i don't want the ring.
>>
>>1237799
how would you know that paladin we didn't tell you that...
>>
Don't worry guys. I can roll fo this
>>
>>1237799
He can wear it on his toes instead for fingers.
>>
>>1237805
No.
>>
>>
>>
>>1237808
Yessssss
>>
>>1237805
Sure, I'm tired of the arguing.
>>
>>1237811
do it.
>>
>>1237810
I OPENED THE CHEST, AND ITS NOT THEFT, WE DESERVE IT. THE LORD GRACED US WITH THE ROLL.
>>
>>
>>1237818
This could work too.
>>
>>
Rolled 256 (1d700)
ROLLAN FOR WHO GETS THE RING OF POWERRRR
100: Chester the asleep snekman
200: Clackie
300: Master Betty
400: Armok
500: Soren
600: Jet Ree
700: CalfortAny other number: Murderbeard appears and steals it
>>
>>1237824
Fuck off come on
>>
Op, would the ring revive someone after two turns if they were knocked out?
>>
>>1237824
NO. THATS IT. WE MUST ASCEND TO OUR FINAL FORM AS AN ARCH ANGEL, PURGER OF SINS.
>>
>>1237824
Dwarves are worse than elves.
>>
>>1237824
Kek, this is what you get, you boneless pallyfags. You don't even have a skeleton inside, just some shitty frail exoskeleton.
>>
>>1237824
Why are you so fucking heartless. We finally have something to be happy about.
>>
>>1237824Does anyone else feel like OP was going to try to do this no matter what?
>>
>>1237824
I leave the cave to do some meditating
>>
>>1237824
"THANKS ALOT SUCKERS"
>>1237826
Possible
>>1237833
I'm asian, probably.
>>
>>1237838
BLUES GO FURTHER INTO CAVES TO UNLOCK ANCIENT EVIL.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237838
Chi blast ring out of his hand
>>
>>1237835
Nah, Murderbeard would've stole it AFTER someone equipped it, possibly knocking them out or initiating combat.
At least we have another reason to hunt that limp-boned fucker now.
>>
>>1237843
Roll 1d6
+9 Him
+5 You
>>
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>>1237835
Of course he would.
Also, I have to go to work, so you guys are without the dwarf.
[SCREAMING]
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1237845
Whoops forgot my own roll
>>
>>1237846
NO ITS NOT. WE MUST 'PURGE' THE ANCIENT EVIL FOR OUR LORD, AND WE MUST EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN.
>>
>>1237845
I already rolled but you didnt
>>
>>1237838
I thought that you where a white guy...I'm a half-asian anyway
>>
>>1237851
mate this is getting out of hand calm down
>>
>>1237846
don't listen to him he only plans to ruin the game for you
>>
>>1237849
>>1237852
Yeah I know
>>1237856
Murderbeard's holding the ring.
>>
>>1237857
They took the ring. I wanted the ring. I need to purge something, and it's either going to be the dwarf while he sleeps, the skeleton now, or the entire world.
>>
>>
>>1237861
Don't make God smite you from straying from the light
>>
>>1237862
Can we at least not bring him to our church?
>>
>>1237861
Party, i'm smelling another Barb right here.
Should we gank?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237860
The ring is covered with goat's sperm!!!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1237860
Fly towards him and use claws.
>>
>>1237861
Pls don't. We make bad decisions because we're in constant agony. Besides, you're forgetting that if it weren't for me, Clackie and Jet Ree would be dead.
>>
>>1237864
can god smite just that guy, the insane one in bug pally head. I like bug pally
>>
>>1237866
If this dude wants to be redeemed of his sins and chooses to follow God, then that's his business, not ours. We serve the Lord, not ourselves.
Right now though he's an evil pirate and we gotta fight him.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237862
Yeah prolly possible
>>1237868
"Yer covered in Goat's sperm, lmao"
>>1237869
>Claws
>DEX bonuses
+4 You
+6 Him
>>
>>
>>1237860
What does Skull Throw skill do, OP?
>>
>>1237876
Betty missed.
>>1237880
It's like the Orcs' Chi Blasts, your basic ranged attack. But you can choose to retrieve skull or leave it there to bite enemies
>>
>>1237878
Ayo that's metaplaying.
>>
>>
>>1237876
Well I tried. Let's go to port 9 and get the small man healed, we can fight murderbeard another time.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237884
Rolling for throw.
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD.
>>
>>1237884
Ok somebody enter inside our skull so that we can do the Skull Throw.
>>
>>1237886
No he fucking doesnt. At least if we don't stop murderbeard
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237886
>>1237889
In actual combutt. Sword throw uses STR as bonus
+5 You
+9 Him
>>1237878
Soren doesn't know that. Also Bing Bingie was guilty, of having a hat fetish. Also theft and destruction of property.
>>
>>1237893
HE WAS INNOCENT YOU CHINK
>>
>>1237891
Homie we got nothing against the dwarf, he never did us harm.
Besides, Soren's gotta be willing to forgive anyone. He serves a higher power than himself.
Also, I'm with Betty, we should just try to go to church and heal the dwarf of his skin condition.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1237893
Offer to trade my sombrero for the ring.
>>
>>1237897
"No, Betty! Never trust a pirate!"
>>
>>1237894
That's not what the papers say
>>1237897
"A sombrero you say?"
>>
>>1237902
Dude, spaz down. The only one who lost us the ring was OP.
>>
>>1237906
Explains why I'm not invited to church
>>
>>1237901
Yes. Sombrero for that magical ring.
>>
>>1237906
Shhh, Murderbeard may see reason...
>>
>>1237911
>Murderbeard may see reason
You're drunk.
>>
>>1237913
If we don't get the ring back we are murdering something.
>>
>>1237910
"Oh you mean, a normal sombrero. For a ring with magical powers. Is that what you're saying?"
>>
>>1237918
Exactly. You and I aren't so different. We both wear hats.
>>
>>1237916
No we're not. Just let it go. Fighting teammates is a frustrating waste of time.
>>
>>1237918
That ring isn't magical.
>>
>>1237923
Yeah, I think Murderbeard might be metagaming.
>>
>>1237920
"Well I could see yer po-->>1237923 Well then surely it won't do anything if I put it on now wouldn't it"
Murderbeard powers increased
"Oh hey, it is. I thought it was just expensive, but then you shmucks told me about it being magic"
>>
>>1237926
Dude that ring isn't magical I'm telling you.
>>
>>1237929
Buddy, you've already made things worse. Let's just get off the island and level up a bit.
>>
>>1237931
Shhh, we nearly got em.
>>
>>1237926
So Murderbeard could you give us a lift off this island since we got you that ring and all?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1237926
I decide to take a nap. Rolling for effectiveness.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237929
"Then surely I won't do anything if I think about blasting something"
The ring shoots a magical lightningbolt at the cave ceiling and causes a cave in. THe party is now trapped.
>>1237934
"Sorry, can't hear you behind all that rubble. Bye"
>>1237939
Rolling to see if nap is efective
>>
>>1237926
Soren Kierkegaard prays to the Lord for advice on how to get off the island.
>>
>>1237942
PUNCH JET REE IN THE FACE SO HE SOBERS UP AND CAN CHASE AFTER MURDERBEARD
>>
>>1237942
Curse that faggot with scurvy
>>
>>1237942
you know... this was op's plan from the go, the treasure was just for murderbeard to steal.
>>
>>1237944
We don't punch Jet in the face.
Also, we're trapped and can't chase anybody. Thanks to you.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237944
Error: Soren doesn't know about Jet Ree's sober power up
Also that'd be rude
>>
>>1237942
Seems it's too noisy to take a nap.
Guess I have to fight.
>>
>>1237948
You're a giant fag. I'm on green now.
>>
>>1237942
Goddamnit, the paladin made things worse for the party again.
I start moving rocks to create a passage through the cave in.
>>
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237942
The pirate is wearing hat with skull on it and it is very insulting!!! Try to break free with Skull Throw!!!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237946
Sorry m8, your words can't go through all dese rocks
>>1237953
Roll 1d6
>>
>>1237953
I help by digging with my claws.
>>
>>1237959
I don't curse him with words I curse him with magical orc monk powers
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1237959
SKELE-STRENGHT, AHOY!
>>
>>1237959
help as well.
also I suggest we train, its the only way to beat murderbeard
>>
>>
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237970
Help our bro Clackie in moving rocks
>>
>>1237971
wait i mistyped
i cut through the rocks
THE ROCKS
NOT THE ORCS
>>
>>1237970
Dig an underground tunnel to the outside with my claws.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1237967
forgot to roll
>>
>>1237970
With the power of friendship, we will push the stones!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1237959
>>
>>1237971
>I try to cut through the orcs
>the orcs
>>1237977
Hey, that wasn;t a reply to my post.....
>>
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>>1237984
>>1237985
>>
SUCCESS! THE TUNNEL IS OPEN!
But during the ordeal, Soren accidentally swung his sword and hit Clackie and Jet Ree.
Now they're bleeing from their asses
>>
>>1237993
HOLY HEAL ON BOTH OF THEM
>>
>>1237993
Heal us please Soren
>>
>>1237993
Laugh in the background.
>>
>>1237995
>>1237996
>>1237998
Crisis averted
>>
>>1237996
why do we allow this?
>>
>>1238001
is that cum dripping from Betty's mouth?
>>
>>1238005
Could be goat cum, could just be drool. I'll let you decide.
>>
So does anyone have any big ideas on how we should train?
>>
>>1238002
We must be patient, brother. We're the only voices of reason on this journey. Sometimes at least
>>
>>1238001
Let's leave the cave and go do something useful.
>>
>>1238010
Right, let's ee what the party can do
>>
>>1238015
Let's look for Mat Erials, the local guide in survival
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1238015
I choose the third option, in addition to sobbing uncontrollably.
Rolling for quality of my tears.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1238001
Check the DLC to see if it exist any hellfire cop clothes for Calfort.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUxp4N5YxIE
>>
>>1238020
But he lives in secret, nobody knows where he is
>>1238023
Nice tears
>>1238024
Try killing the mosnters on the island.
>>
>>1238029
Summon Mat Erials here by impersonating a human mating call
>>
>>1238029
Lets look for monsters to grind so we can get revenge on murderbeard later.
>>
>>1238029
Now that I got that out of my system, fly up in the air and scout.
>>
>>1238029
Alright, let's search the island for Mat Erials and fight monsters on the way so that we level up. Sound good?
>>
>>1238029
They say he is holed up in some secret ancient vault, hoarding all the knowledge on shrimp-based cuisine for himself
>>
>>1238030
>>1238032
>>1238035
>>1238036
Roll 1d6 to see what you find:
6: Oh hey look, Mat Erials was standing over there the whole time
4-5: Some monsters
2-3: A big fat load of nothing
1: Terrible calamity
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1238045
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1238045
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1238045
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1238045
>>
STOP ROLLING, WE DON'T WANT CALAMITY
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1238045
Oh shit look at that
>>
>>1238054
But the highest roll is chosen
>>
Damn now it is time for me to sleep...
I will see the result tomorrow.
>>
>>1238053
While everyone were looking around, Clackie Chan turned his head slightly to the left and spotted Mat Erial, the local ranger/guide/hobo foraging for food.
>>
>>1238064
sup mat
>>
>>1238064
Can you help us get off this island Mr. Erial?
>>
>>1238064
hey umm dude
>>
>>1238064
Got any milk for our bony friend here?
>>
>>1238064
DUUUUDE, YOU REMEMBER ME? WE MET AT THAT ONE RAVE PARTY IN THE JUNGLE! I RATTLED ALL OVER THE DANCE FLOOR THAT ONE TIME!
>>
>>
>>1238074
AW MAAAN, THAT WAS FUCKING GREAT! SO HOW YOU DOING?
>>
>>1238074
Would you be willing to help us get off the island? One of our friends has a flesh-rotting disease and we need to get him to my church to get healed.
>>
>>1235989
I heard there was a space for rent?
>>
>>1238074
How about we build a spaceship and go exploring the vast void
>>
>>1238083
Well there's 2 colors that don't currently have players online, so you could play purple or red
>>
>>1238077
"Pretty swell i guess. Just living day by day, man"
>>1238081
"Yeah sure. But depends on what you're willing to do for me in return"
>>1238083
Already occupied, but you're free to become team mates. Or do what this guy said >>1238089
>>
>>1238092
what do you need
>>
Is red still shreiking dwarf? I'll take it
>>
>>1238092
I have this cool sombrero.
>>
>>1238094
Yes. Always shrieking in agony, all the time.
>>
IT'S SAD, BUT I HAVE TO GO NOW BOYOS. KEEP ON RATTLING.
>>
>>1238104
*adjusts hat*
>>
>>
>>1238093
>>1238099
"Well I have tasks I need done. I'm kinda hungry right now, but also kinda lazy. SO if you go and find a certain fruit for me, I'll help you build a raft so you can get off this island. Or you can go and steal some giant eggs from the devilbird so we can have a real lunch, for that I can build you a ship. But then I recently got chased out of my former dwelling by a beast, if you help me slay it I can get you to your destination without needing a boat"
>>
>>1238115
Bird eggs is a go
>>
>>
>>1238115
I've had enough of the water and boats, let's go slay the beast.
>>
>>1238121
I want a boat so long as it can carry giants
>>
>>
So which is it? Will you go for the easy to obtain raft? The ship? Or quick transportation withouth needing to engage in seafaring?
>>
>>1238115
how strong is this beast?
>>
>>1238134
I guess teleport and moar exp if murderbeard is still murdery
>>
>>1238134
I say beast
>>
>>1238134
I think we're gonna go fight the beast. Lord be with us.
>>
>>1238134
Slay the beast.
>>
>>1238137
>>1238138
>>1238141
>>1238143
"Right, then come with me into my "recently stolen" cave so we can reclaim it"
Oh and since battle's coming up, roll call, which colors are active? Reply to this post
>>
>>
>>1238147
Nig nig
>>
>>1238147
ding
>>
>>1238147
Here
>>
>>1238147
Blue here
>>
>>1238147
Red reporting in
>>
>>1238147
I'm here.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1238149
>>1238150
>>1238151
>>1238152
>>1238153
>>1238155
>>1238158
"Oh good. The dwarfs screams of pain will surely lure the beast out"
The beast is coming but:
5-6: It's just one beast so it's okay
4: It has children
2-3: It has angry children
1: It has angry full-grown children
>>
>>1238164
I demand a reroll!
>>
>>1238164
Use fire to give us vision.
>>
>>1238164
"Okay. I didn't expect this. But the beast has children. Fully grown angry children. I think it's best if we ran outside so we can fight them in a more open and easy to see area"
>>
>>1238174
sounds good
>>
>>1238174
Agreed. Use xylophone to lure them out
>>
"I'm great with kids!" [CONTINUED DWARVEN SCREAMING]
>>
>>1238174
How about we try to lure them out one by one so we can fight them one at a time
>>
>>
>>
>>1238191
Tackle Mat out of the way to save him
>>
>>1238191
save mat with chi blast
>>
>>1238191
Side by side view of giant and beast plz. Need to compare
>>
>>1238195
shoot at the beaSt op you know what I mean don't be a dick and hit ree.
>>
(PAIN)
>>
>>1238193
>>1238195
JET REE TACKLES MAT OUTTA THE WAY
"Oh hey, thanks"
But is then hit by Clackie's Chi blast
>>1238199
Too late
>>
>>1238204
You saved me Clackie!
>>
>>1238204
you are such an ass hole
>>
>>1238211
You saved Teal
>>
>>
Clackie has a chi blast, so he'd probably be good in back. Cuts down on the heals I have to spread out. Is Betty untouchable if she just flies around and breathes fire on the beasts?
>>
AND NOW, THE BEASTS:
Each one has the same stats of:
STR: 6
DEX: 5
END: 4
INT: 1
CHA: 1
All have the skills:
- Gnaw: Chomps down on a party member, trapping them in its mouth, then it starts chewing. The character will be unable to act and lose health each turn unless rescued
The one with the scar is the mother
>>1238224
Master Betty is a dude. Yes, Betty is a woman's name.
>>
>>1238224
I have a stun so I need to be in front mister bug face
>>
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>>1238228
>>
Do we need a purple?
>>
>>
>>1238236
Yes, purple would be very helpful right now. That would actually mean a full roster, which I think would be a first.
>>
>>1238239
Yeah you threw it befre didn't you
>>
>>1238249
Guess I did.
ALRIGHT FOLKS I'M IN THE BACK SHOOTING LASERS AND PASSING OUT HEALS
>>
>>1238254
Can you stop the pain? This debuff is getting old
>>
Ready to help.
>>
>>1238253
Well I'll roll with a snek duelist. What'll be the options for customisation?
>>
>>1238257
I tried but apparently I can only temporarily stop it. We need to go to a church to permanently heal you.
>>
Here be the party character sheets. You guys got the formation down yet?
>>1238269
Well Chester the Snekman Duelist was already created and customized the thread before. So you get a floppy purple hat.
>>
>>1238276
Whoops, that didn't come through for some reason
>>
>>1238276
I'm definitely in back. Suggesting that Master Betty stay back and breathe fire on the monsters.
>>
>>1238288
Aside from that I think everyone is up front.
Actually, Calfort could stay back and throw his head/shockwave them (assuming shockwave is a ranged attack).
>>
Alright, from what I gathered....Is everyone standing in the front except for the bug?
>>
>>1238302
I'll stand in the back too for now.
>>
>>1238302
Giant in front front
>>
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>>1238278
>>1238302
I thought there was a open spot. But I guess until a new spot is open, I can go snek. I'll also take up the flank.
>>
>>1238302
christ that's a lot of us
>>
>>1238302
With Clackie's willingness, I would like to switch positions in the formation with him, please.
>>
>>1238309
Or do this, that's fine.
>>
>>1238310
These things have 4 HP and 6 Strength a pop, and they can immobilize you. We NEED a lot of us.
>>
Is this now the correctamundo formation?
>>
>>1238322
Sure
>>
>>1238322
Are we gonna do that thing where everyone says what they want to do and roll at the same time to make the fight go faster?
>>
>>1238322
Green might want to be in the center, but it is currently fine with me.
>>
>>1238322
Center the green yo
>>
>>1238332
doesn't matter it's all rolled
>>
Rolled 3, 3, 2 = 8 (3d5)
>>1238325
>>1238332
>>1238334
Alrighty then this shall be your formation
The Order of attack in each turn shall be:
Beast 1 -> Beast 2 -> Beast 3 -> Chester -> Master Betty -> Soren -> Clackie -> Jet Ree -> Calfort -> Armok
To save up time. Anytime I say "post recap". Reply to my Post what you'd like for your team's character to do this turn. After that we'll roll when necessary
BUT NOW THE BEASTS ARE ATTACKING. THEY'RE GONNA BITE:
1- Chester
2- Jet Ree
3- Calfort
4- Armok
5-Clackie
>>
Rolled 4, 6, 1 = 11 (3d6)
So now GREENs please roll 2d6 to defend against the two beast biting you. While Teal roll 1d6
Bonuses:
All beasts: +6
Calfort: +6
Jet Ree: +5
>>
Rolled 5, 6 = 11 (2d6)
>>1238371
SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS I'M STILL HERE!
Well i'll have to go again soon, but MAYBE I CAN GIVE A HAND!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1238371
>>
>>1238380
does his counter still work if it ties?
>>
>>1238381
Should work
>>
>>1238381
Yea
>>
>>1238356
Get around the beasts, and try giving the bottom one a few swift [Double Stabs].
>>
>>1238377
>>1238380
CALFORT FENDED OFF THE BEASTS, WHILE JET REE MANAGED TO COUNTER HIT ONE OF THEM!
BEAST NUMBER 3 NOW HAS 3 HP LEFT.
NOW, THIS IS A RECAP POST. TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING THIS TURN
>>
>>1238397
Use Dim Mak on beast 1
>>
>>1238397
Breathe some fire on beast 3.
>>
>>1238397
Holy Sword, strike all three beasts.
>>
>>1238397
What does Shockwave do, OP?
>>
>>1238408
Well you stomp on the ground to make a shockwave, hitting any 4 enemies at the same time.
>>
>>1238397
Xylophone. Soothe them!
>>
>>1238414
Mate we're trying to kill them, not soothe them.
>>
>>1238414
I think xylophone only works on 1 enemy at a time.
We should just shockwave and hit everyone, i think.
>>
>>1238417
Surprise attack them after the soothing then asshole
>>
>>1238397
palm strike
>>
>>1238426
Hey I'm no green, you guys can do whatever you want
>>
>>1238424
You might be right tho
>>
>>1238426
Nigga come on, let's go for some easy damage with shockwave. We can xylophone next turn and wipe them all out.
>>
>>1238440
Ok fine
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
Well the only one missing is the Reds turn. I guess we'll get to it when we're done with the rest.
CHESTER SWIFTLY ADVANCES ON BEAST NUMBER 2 AND THRUSTS BOTH HIS RAPIERS INTO THE BEAST
PURPLEs, roll 1d6
Double Stab gives you: STR bonus 2 + DEX bonus 4 = +6 Bonus
Beast #2 has +5 DEX bonus
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1238452
Rollin
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1238452
For the, uh, for the TEAM!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1238458
>>1238460
Somehow the beast managed to dodge Chesters Double Stab.
Now Master Betty will attempt to breathe fire on Beast number 3
Oranges roll 1d6
+6 Beast
+4 Oranges
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1238474
Let him have it.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1238474
>>
Rolled 1, 3, 4 = 8 (3d6)
>>1238477
>>1238479
Beast number 3 also managed to dodge the attack
NOW SOREN WILL ATTEMPT TO THROW HIS HOLY SWORD AT THE BEASTS.
Roll 1d6
All beasts get +6
Soren gets +5
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1238487
I never asked, what does Paladin Kick do?
>>
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>>1238492
I forgot to pray before I rolled.
>>
>>1238497
Well, the orcs are up next. Hopefully you'll do better.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1238492
It basically does the same thing as Chesters Double Stab. An attack that you can add up your STR and DEX bonuses. Different is, the enemy will defend using his STR.
Anyway
SOREN CONJURES UP A HOLY SWORD OF LIGHT AND THROWS IT AT THE BEAST. Sadly it missed all of them.
Now Clackie will attempt to use Palm Strike on Beast....let's say 1
YELLOW, Roll 2d6. Your first roll against my firstroll
+6 It
+6 Clackie
If attack hits, your second roll is against my second roll for stun chance
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1238510
fuck you and your loaded dice
>>
>>1238510
What the fuck is happening.
>>
>>1238510
OP is cheat
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1238512
Well that's a miss.
NOW JET REE WILL ATTEMPT TO USE HIS (potentially) ONE HIT KILL TECHNIQUE AGAINST BEAST NUMBER 1
Teals.Roll 2d6 To use Dim Mak
First roll is hit chance.
Second roll is to see if it kills the thing or not (Need >=5)
>>
Rolled 3, 1 = 4 (2d6)
>>1238523
>>
>>1238523
Whoops, forgot to state bonuses
+6 Beast
+5 Jet Ree
>>
Rolled 4, 3, 6 = 13 (3d6)
>>1238528
IT'S A HIT! Sadly you failed to hit it in the correct pressure point. But at least you poke dit so hard it lost 1 HP
CURRENT BEAST HP:
Beast 1: 3
Beast 2: 4
Beast 3: 3
NOW CALFORT WILL ATEMPT TO USE SHOCKWAVE. Roll 1d6, greens
+6 Beasts
+6 You
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1238538
I FEEL IT IN MY BONES
>>
>>1238541
THE GIANT SKELETON STOMPS ON THE GROUND, CREATING A MASSIVE SHOCKWAVE. IT HITS 2 OF THE BEASTS
CURRENT BEAST HP:
Beast 1: 2
Beast 2: 3
Beast 3: 3
Now where is the RED recap?
>>
>>1238550
I think he's dead from the neck up.
>>
Welp, RED team missing.
>>
>>1238561
Just have him drink ale.
>>
Rolled 1, 6, 3, 4 = 14 (4d6)
>>1238573
OR
MAT ERIAL JUMPS IN WITH A TRIPLE SHOT
Mat is my first roll, the ebasts are the rest of my rolls
Mat gets a +8 DEX Bonus
Beasts get a +5 DEX Bonus
>>
>>1238577
jesus op even again't your self
>>
Rolled 5, 2, 1 = 8 (3d5)
>>1238577
He hits one!
CURRENT BEAST HP:
Beast 1: 2
Beast 2: 2
Beast 3: 3
NOW THE BEASTS ARE ATTACKING. THEY'RE GONNA BITE:
1- Chester
2- Jet Ree
3- Calfort
4- Armok
5-Clackie
>>
Rolled 2, 4, 6 = 12 (3d6)
PURPLE, YELLOW AND TEAL
Roll 1d6 for defense
Bonuses:
All beasts: +6
Clackie: +6
Jet Ree: +5
Chester: +2
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1238594
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1238594
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1238594
Which roll is for which
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1238594
...M-maybe try to charm the beast to reconsider it's ways?
>>
Rolled 4, 5, 1 = 10 (3d6)
>>1238600
>>1238601
>>1238603
It goes in the order I listed the bonuses...sooo
CLACKIED MANAGED TO DEFEND HIMSELF
JET REE AND CHESTER GOT BIT
JET REE HAS 3 HP LEFT. CHESTER HAS 1 HP LEFT. SHIEEEET
GIMME YOUR ACTIONS NOW
>>
>>1238615
Punch beast 1
>>
>>1238615
Use claws on beast 1
>>
>>1238615
flying kick
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1238615
Using our charm, tell the beast that bit us that that's not cool, and that it should go bite it's allies to give a eye for a eye.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1238632
>>
>>
>>1238615
HOLY SWORD
>>
Now where dem purps at.
>>
>>1238641
He may not be a druid, but he is a snakman, and since snaks counts as beasts, he can techinally half-speak to them.It's wild logic, but surely he can bluff speaking to them!
>>
>>1238654
Double Stab Beast 1
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1238655
Then roll 1d6
+3 u
+1 Beast
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1238669
I'm fine with talky talky
>>
Rolled 2, 4 = 6 (2d6)
>>1238671
Chester has somehow used his Snek powers to convince one of the reptilian-ish beast to bite another of their own
CURRENT BEAST HP:
Beast 1: 1
Beast 2: 2
Beast 3: 3
NOW MASTER BETTY WILL USE CLAW SWIPE.
ORANGES Roll 1d6
+4 Master Betty
+5 Beasts
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1238684
Don't fail me now roll.
>>
File: Kung_pow_betty_laugh.jpg (84KB, 491x414px) Image search:
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84KB, 491x414px
>>1238706
>>
Rolled 6, 3 = 9 (2d6)
>>1238706
Success!
Beast 1 is slain!
BEast 2 Lost 1 HP!
CURRENT BEAST HP:
Beast 2: 1
Beast 3: 3
NOW SOREN WILL ATTEMPT TO THROW HIS HOLY SWORD AT THE BEASTS.
Roll 1d6
All beasts get +6
Soren gets +5
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1238720
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
>>
>>1238712
how many do you have saved?
>>
>>1238728
There is never enough kung pow
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1238724
HIT ONE!
CURRENT BEAST HP:
Beast 2: 1
Beast 3: 2
NOW CLACKIE USES FLYING KICK! ON BEAST 2 , HOPEFULLY TO KILL IT
Bonuses:
+5 Clackie
+5 Beast
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1238742
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1238747
Well thatsa miss. Perhaps Jet Ree would fare better
TEAL roll 1d6 to punch beast
+5 Jet Ree
+6 Beast
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1238758
Impossible
>>
>>1238760
Also missed!
I also just realized GREENs haven't give me their turn yet
>>
Man another shockwave would be amazing right now.
>>
>>1238768
I believe he is off currently. Gotten tired from the kongo bongo-ing.
>>
>>1238768
Where is that numbskull.
>>
>>1238771
>>1238772
>>1238776
Guess that's what Red and Green currently have in common: empty skulls
>>
Rolled 2, 4, 2 = 8 (3d6)
WELP, SINCE RED AND GREEN ARE CURRENTLY A NO-SHOW.
MAT ERIAL JUMPS IN WITH A DOUBLE SHOT
Mat is my first roll, the beasts are the rest of my rolls
Mat gets a +8 DEX Bonus
Beasts get a +5 DEX Bonus
>>
Rolled 2 (1d3)
>>1238790
ANOTHER BEAST IS SLAIN!
THE LAST ONE ONLY HAS HP LEFT! AS A LAST ATTACK IT'S GONNA GNAW ON:
1- Chester
2- Jet Ree
3- Clackie
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1238799
Jet Ree roll 1d6 to not get chewed on
+6 it
+5 you
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1238802
>>
>>1238803
Welp Jet Ree's got chomped. Somebody save him.
Post how would you save Clackie and kill the beast here
>>
>>1238817
Am I able to just kick the beast and then pry Clackie out of its jaws, or would that hurt both of them?
>>
>>1238817
I will tell the beast a joke to release my orc friend.
>>
>>1238817
Instead of killing it, try to convince it that orks are poisonous, and unless it surrenders to us and join us, we wouldn't provide it with the antidote! Our bluffs worked once with these beasts, so why not another one?
>>
>>
>>1238817
I ROCKET FIST THE BEAST IN THE NOSE
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
ALRIGHT, we'll do it in the turn order.
First, Chester attempts to convince the beast to let Jet Ree go.
Chester roll 1d6
>>
>>1238846
Murderbeard stole your rocketfist, sorry mate.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1238848
Have to take off for a bit after this. Good luck, team.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1238848
Lets do this.
>>
>>1238854
that's one hand, nerd
>>
>>1238862
Both of them are rocketfists?
>>
>>1238863
I assume
>>
>>1238863
Well, what if you need to rocket fists two different people, or one person twice?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1238857
>>1238858
Well that was a failure. The beast chews on Jet Ree.
Jet Ree now has 2 HP LEFT.
NOW MASTER BETTY WILL TELL THE BEAST A JOKE. ROLL 1d6 to TELL A JOKE, ORANGE
>>
>>1238874
RIP Jet Ree
>>
>>1238874
Well, the fact that his mother and sibling died moments earlier, with the latter being bitten by him, maybe he does want to die?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1238874
What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?
My ass.
(RIP Jet Ree)
>>
>>1238891
Well shite. The joke actually worked. THe beast laughed. A bit too hard, so it chomped down on Jet Ree in the process
JET REE HAS 1 HP LEFT.
>>
Rolled 2, 5 = 7 (2d6)
AND NOW, SOREN ENGAGES THE PALADIN KICK.
ROLL 2D6
YOUR FIRST ROLL IS TO DAMAGE THE BEAST
+9 YOU
+6 BEAST
Second roll is to see if you killed Jet Ree too in the process
>>
>>1238909
ROLL LESS THAN 5 YOU FUCKS
>>
Rolled 6, 2 = 8 (2d6)
>>1238909
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH
>>
File: 0% mad.png (926KB, 640x718px) Image search:
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926KB, 640x718px
>>1238925
>>
>>1238925
HALLELUJAH, THE GOD IS WITH US!
>>
>>1238925
The beast is slain! And Jet Ree is saved!
>>
>>1238941
do we gain a level?
>>
>>1238941
Heal Jet Ree and Chester.
And uh, anyone else who took damage that I forgot about.
>>
>>1238941
loot beasts, praise the lord too
>>
>>1238941
Cool, we got some exp. I wonder if there's any loot from the beasts.
>>
>>1238941
Give Soren a manly handshake and thank him for the save
>>
>>1238941
Congratulate with the crew, and find out what we gained from the fighting.
>>
>>
>>1238976
>that pic
DILLON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txuWGoZF3ew
>>
>>1238976
Alright Mat, help us get to our destination without the boat
Port Town #9 my dude
>>
>>1238980
You sonova bitch!
>>
>>1238976
Well, does anyone know how to knit or something like that? I kinda want to make new equipment for us. As well, Chester need to improve much of his skills, as he is behind everyone in everything but DEX, and even then that's equal with Betty and Soren.
>>
>>1238983
"Alright then. Everybody stand over there"
>>1238989
THe party still has 2 Big Knives from a bandit boss that when dual wielded will give +1 to both attack and defending rolls. Go equip those.
>>
>>1239004
o....k....
>>
>>1239004
Bye Mat Erials. Nice to meet you.
>>
>>1239004
Hey Mat, you were pretty cool. I hope you find your way into the arms of the Lord some day.
Soren stands over with everyone else, silently praying he doesn't get screwed over.
>>
>>1239004
Guess the new gear could be tailored once we go back to Port Town #9. Give our fairwells to Mat, and let head back to town.
>>
>>
>>1239034
Soren looks to the left, discretely trying to discern if there are any traps.
>>
>>1239034
say cheese, guys
move over to the left
>>
>>1239034
Wait, your left or my left?
>>
>>1239034
Alright? Might as well move to the left, in spite of it seemly being pointless for what is believed to be a teleportation spell.
>>
>>1239034
this ground feels different
>>
>>1239048
NO IT DOESN'T, SHUT UP YELLOW
>>
>>1239056
just saying feels bouncy
>>
>>1239068
OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
>>
>>1239068
Holy crap, that skeleton is huge.
>>
>>1239068
Are we there yet.
>>
>>1239068
fly me too the moon or port 9 I would prefer~
>>
>>1239068
Somehow, we didn't notice the giant bow on the ground. But I suppose that's one way of getting to Port #9.
>>
KER-CRASH
THe party has now arrived at Port Town #9
>>
>>1239085
get Armok to the church quick!
>>
>>1239085
Find the local tavern, my beer supply is getting low
>>
>>1239085
Damage report, the four flying slabs in the panel suggests there was damage done. And escort Armok to the church!
>>
>>1239085
Gonna go sell this stuff we have.
>>
>>
>>1239087
Church
>>1239092
Tavern
>>1239095
Happy Merchant
>>1239093
It's just the ground, no worries. Mat has pretty good aim.
>>
>>1239111
[SCREAMING INTENSIFIES]
>>
Thread still live? It's been nearly 12 hours since NaP's twitter post so I'm not hopeful
>>
>>1239115
paladins! fix!
>>
>>1239115
"Right. What's the problem here?"
>>
>>1239123
reveal our face by taking off our helmet
DEATH ROT
AHHHHHHHHHHH
>>
>>1239119
It's still live
>>
>>1239119
Yeah, you might want to change that to Blue Paladin.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1239123
Ah yes, our short friend here has contracted a very terrible disease that rots his flesh, and we're looking for paladins to heal him.
Rolling for doing a handstand while telling him this.
>>
>>1239111
Maybe the Yellow orc can handle the dwarf. So instead, check if there is a place to get some training. Currently Soren outmatches Chester in everything but hat-ness, and even then, his helmet is dangerously close.
Also >>1239095 can you please keep one of the tusks? I want to try making some hot new gear.
>>
>>1239132
I don't know how much you used them during the last fight, but Chester has some pretty dope abilities.
>>
>>1239123
Tell him about Red Dwarf's seemingly incurable Skin Rot.
>>
>>1239125
"Hmmm yes. A case of Deathrot. Haven't seen one in a while"
>>1239130
>>1239132
>>
>>1239158
HEAL ME, PLEASE
>>
>>1239158
Get your pray on and take notes on how they'll heal Armok so you can further enhance your healing abilities.
>>
>>1239163
Yeah, this sounds good.
>>
>>1239158
Tavernkeep, could you gimme a job so I can buy beer from you?
>>
>>
Rolled 99, 40 = 139 (2d100)
>>1239162
>>1239163
"This may sting a bit"
Paladin is attempting to cure Armok. My 1st roll is paladin, second is the curse
It stings a whole fucking lot
>>1239174
"Well what kinda job can ya do?"
>>1239179
"Ah, another duelist! Want some lessons? I can tell you're lacking in the stats department. Can't catch up with your friends?"
>>
>>1239210
>99
PRAISE THE LORD
DRINK TO CELEBRATE
>>
>>1239210
I can punch stuff. But I'm told my singing voice is pretty nice too.
>>
>>1239210
Now that Armok's healed, Soren goes to the town job board to see if there's anything to do.
>>
>>1239210
Go to where purple is and see if I can train too.
>>
>>
>>1239228
well, okay
Armok goes to the merchant to see what we can buy
>>
>>1239210
Of course I'll take the training offer. Primarily to enhance one's strength, dexterity, and charming-ness.
>>
>>1239232
>>1239237
Yeah sure--
THE PARTY SUDDENLY GOT A GROUP NOTIFICATION:
QUEST FAILED - You didn't defeat Murderbeard
>>
>>1239228
Have something related to our backstory happen.
>>
>>1239255
oh well
what are the other quests we can do, OP?
>>
>>1239255
Nobody said anything about a time limit!
>>
>>1239255
Well he was a tough opponent. Even took our magic ring. How about we choose a new quest and call it a day?
>>
>>1239255
Well, we haven't defeated Murderbeard YET, but that didn't mean we gave up! As far as we know, the quest doesn't have a time limit, so the notification should rethink about what it said.
>>
>>1239255
These quests suck. We're always dying to the enemies on them and they have shitty rewards
>>
>>1239266
I mean I'd like to level up
>>
>>1239255
now I feel bad
>>
>>1239263
Well it's less of a time limit and more because Murderbeard and his crew tried to go to the imperial forces in order to get a privateer license. Unfortunately for him the goblin he stuck to the front of his ship has a magical tag on that was used as evidence against his wrongdoings, he was then arrested and all his loot confiscated. And since it was the army themselves that defeated him, you get squat.
>>
>>1239295
what a shame
now, get to quest selection, OP
>>
>>1239295
O-Oh.
You know what, I'll take it. We may not have stopped him, but the world is a safer place, and it's all because of what we did. The Lord would be proud.
>>
>>1239295
oh well, now I don't feel bad. You have been avenged Gobbolina and Fib
>>
>>
>>1239303
>>1239306
>>1239313
Oh well. Choose your next quest.
>>
>>1239324
save a princess
>>
>>1239324
Help a wizard, we can't possibly screw that up since there'll be no one to screw us over.
>>
>>1239324
find the LEGENDARY INVINCIBLE ARMOR
>>
>>
>>1239351
I guess I'm shifting to the save princess party.
>>
>>1239354
>bathe
>>
>>1239324
Can you stop bringing my dad into this.
>>
>>1239324
changing to save a princess so we can get a move on
>>
>>1239351
"I can train your desired stats, snakeboy. 1 Gold per stat point"
>>1239368
No
>>
>>1239375
Save a princess, LOCK IN
also, have Armok go to the shop
>>
>>1239375
That sounds like a bargin, but we have yet to sell off our loot to recoup our losses. See how much Beast tucks sell for, before heading back to get some levelling done.
>>
>>1239375
Watch out Chester, that man is a known snekman molester
>>
>>1239371
I wanna level up before we leave for the next quest
>>
>>1239379
Yes, so you can window shop
>>1239386
Each Fang will net you 1 gold
>>
>>1239393
Let's go with the Paladins and see if they have some work for us
>>
>>1239402
Sell 5 beast fangs
Ask the shopkeep if he has any power armor hands for sale
>>
>>1239416
but it's the special +1 when you attack with both of them knives!
>>
>>1239402
Well, sell five of the fangs and maybe the hide. The sixth one will stay in the hat.
Also, for the party: Is it fine to spend the gold on boosting my stats?
>>
>>1239425
I need to replace my other hand since RED RANGER wasted it on Murderbeard
>>
>>
>>
>>1239451
I'll look for a good option, don't worry
>>
>>1239451
he has a sword already
>>
>>1239455
I meant use the knife as a replacement FOR the rocket hand. One blade is nice, but two blades are nicer. That, and if there's a distant target, he can just fire the blade at said target to deal more damage.
>>
>>1239470
But you need to dual wield the knives in order to get the bonus, and you can't fire knives unless they're rocket knives.
>>
>>1239470
well, in all our attacks so far, REDS haven't been able to do damage because our STR is only 3. While the new characters that Blue and Green have are the same endurance of us while having higher attack values. It's hard for REDs to contribute to battle unless we absorb all the damage.
>>
>>1239476
Well to be fair last fight red didn't do any damage because they weren't there
>>
>>
>>1239402
jesus me and op have been up for nearly 24 hours doing this.
>>
is op ok
do i need to pray for him
>>
>>1239537
think he fell asleep, been over 20 hours doing this. call it a day guys
>>
Thanks for running, OP
>>
Thanks for running, OP. You've got great art, and even though you do terrible things to us you make it pretty interesting and fun. That twist with Murderbeard was actually hilarious.
>>
>tfw fell asleep
whoops
>>
>>1240644
at pc table? sitting? for 12 hours? nice
>>
>>1240644
Great job.
Need a pillow?
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