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Anonymous
/qst/ Adventure Thing, part 7 2017-02-26 06:27:27 Post No. 1206978
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/qst/ Adventure Thing, part 7 2017-02-26 06:27:27 Post No. 1206978
[Report] Image search: [Google]
Oh shit nigger it's a /qst/ adventure thing. That I'm pretty sure I saw someone did before and I'm ripping them off but I can't remember the name so I can't credit them. Yea.
7 persons form an adventuring party in a nondescript generic fantasy land. Each with their own colour code for my convinience: Red, Green, Blue, Yellow, Teal, Orange and Purple.
Each chacacter needs at least 1 player to be the voices in their head to tell them what to do n shit. And the party only needs 4 active members. The rest are part of the Backup Reserve Formation.
Just give yourself a name with the character's team color to identify which person you belong to. Ex: "Red Faggot"
The party's current quest is to slay a pirate captain. And to do so they must travel to nearest port town, which will take about 2 days of travel from where they are currently.
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
>>1206978
Don't bench me coach
>>
>>1206978
Armok punches self in face
>>
>>1206991
How's this fer benchin'
>>1206995
>>
>>1207015
Check inventory
>>
>>1206995
that's a nice Dwarf in Powersuit you have here
would be badif something happened to him
>>
>>1207017
fuck off elf fuccboi
play another color
>>
>>
>>1207015
Contemplate existance
>>
>>1206978
divide up loot
>>
>>1207016
>>1207037
>>1207040
Contemplate and divide on this
>>
>>1207015
Nigger im here please dont kill me off
>>
>>1207044
eat sandwich
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1207044
try wearing poncho
rolling to contest
>>
>>1207044
Check the job board
>>
>>1207047
Nobody's kiling off anybody.
"Reserves" is just the reasoning for inactive characters to stay in the party
>>
>>1207059
Mkay, good to know.
>>
>>1207053
Checking
>>1207058
>>1207052
Wow it doesn't fit you at all you goddamn midget
>>
>>1207077
make it fit then
we'll roll for it
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1207077
blame tall people and eat sandwich made by tall people
rolling for contest
>>
>>1207077
Find a job with jet ree from the board
>>
>>1207077
Zoom in
>>
>>1207088
Reminds me of good old rock throwing days.
>>
>>1207083
>>1207088
You ate a sandwich, how incredibly productive
>>1207085
>>1207090
Looking a the board, your employment choices are:
- House cleaner
- Babysitter
- Rat Exterminator
- Underground Pit Fighter
- Scarecrow
- Bodyguard
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1207109
contesting again
make the poncho fit our size
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1207109
use poncho as cape, then proceed to act like a super hero
rolling for contest
>>
>>1207109
Jet Ree is great with kids. Get the babysitter job
>>
>>1207109
Get the underground pit fighter job.
Get gud.
>>
>>1207127
I wish you great fortune in your pit fighting, Clackie
>>
>>1207130
bwah
>>
>>1207130
you should come too so we don't get knocked out and our shit stolen
>>
>>1207109
Babysitting sounds safe
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207122
"Ah you must be here for the babysitter job. Listen, I gotta go take care of some business tonight, you think you can look after my boy here until I get back?"
>>1207127
"Welcome to the underground pit fights. If you want to join, sign this contract"
>>1207111
Rolling for result
>>
>>1207149
read contract
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1207149
doesn't look like we got it
head to jobs board and do bodyguard since we have that defend all ability
contesting
>>
>>1207145
no be our coach/hype orc
>>
>>1207149
Of course, sir. Anything about your son that I should know?
>>
>>1207149
Yes we can. He have any dietary needs or allergies?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1207149
Go for Rat Exterminator job
contesting roll
>>
>>1207152
No shit we gotta read the contract before we sign it
>>
>>1207164
Wait a minute Fib, you aren't even here!
>>
>>1207172
Great more short jokes.
>>
>>1207161
"Well yes, he gets over excited if he gets any sugar. And don't feed him past midnight. A >>1207164 Hey, when did you get here?"
>>1207152
>>1207165
"Ah, so you must have saw our ad. We got some rats that needs killin' . Think ya can handle that?"
>>
>>1207184
move thumb
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207184
how big are these rats
are they regular sized or monster sized?
contesting
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207184
>"Ah, so you must have saw our ad. We got some rats that needs killin' . Think ya can handle that?"
aye
I wish we had flamethrower tho
proceed to killing rats place
contesting roll
>>
>>1207184
Move thumb out of the way and off the.paper
>>
>>1207177
I don't think we need 2 guys for the babysitter job, which one of us is gonna do something else?
>>
>>1207184
Been here the whole time. Have a good time tonight.
>>
>>1207202
read the bottom of page, and the back of the page, and between the lines.
>>
Red dwarf king reroll already
>>
>>1207202
whatever
proceed to killing rats
no contesting needed this time
>>
>>1207204
"Very well, see ya"
>>1207207
The back and between the lines are blank
>>1207214
"Hello I am rat"
>>
>>1207202
Ask the kid if he wants to go watch pit fighting
>>
>>1207218
stomp rat
>>
>>1207218
Yyyyyyup sign it
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1207218
punch rat
contesting roll
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1207224
>>1207225
Roll 1d6 to attempt punching
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207231
attempting punching
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1207231
rolling
>>
>>1207231
Righto, so where might the ring be?
>>
>>1207231
also grab Fib, we need him for coach and keeper of stuff if we get knocked out.
>>
>>1207240
"Through that door. Oh and remove all your weapons and armor. Every contestant must do so. In order to level the playing field"
>>1207243
But Fib is not with your right now
>>1207234
>>1207239
>>
>>1207243
and watch dragonball super to prepare for enemies that use poison attacks.
>>
>>1207253
how many rats to go?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1207253
go on rat killing spree
contesting
>>
>>1207253
use orc telepathy <shouting> to summon fib
>>
>>1207259
do this
>>
>>1207253
Grab the kid and Fib and head for the pitfighting place
>>
>>1207260
Do this
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>1207260
>>1207259
>>1207254
You have: [my doll] rats left to kill
>>1207266
WILL FIB AGREE?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1207273
KILL EVERY SINGLE RAT
>>
>>1207273
Do we have AoE damage skill? I didn't paid attention last thread
>>
>>1207273
Kid, let's go. There's a pit that needs Gob Rider!
>>
Rolled 2, 6, 6, 1, 2, 3, 2, 1, 2, 6, 3, 6, 2, 3, 4, 1, 3, 4, 6, 3, 3, 3, 6, 3, 4 = 85 (25d6)
>>1207287
"But gobbos are weak and feeble"
>>1207279
>>
>>1207300
KILL THEM ALLLLL
>>
>>1207300
That they are, son. But they have their own purpose, like each one of us.
>>
>>1207300
Of the 54 rats, Armok managed to kill 19. 35 left
>>
>>1207300
Undress and do some stretches in preperation for the fight, make sure to keep our stuff in direct sight so nobody steals our shit
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1207307
Rolling for killing some more
>>
>>1207300
Das racist. Also true. Tell more true things you know, kid.
>>
Rolled 6, 6, 5, 3, 6, 3, 3, 5, 5, 2, 6, 2, 6, 4, 4, 1, 3, 6, 4, 2, 5, 3, 6, 2, 3 = 101 (25d6)
>>1207314
"You'll never get any taller and will nver truly gain the respect you deserve from taller races?"
>>1207310
With your armor of. Your stats are now:
STR 5
DEX 3
END 3
INT 1
CHA 1
>>1207312
>>
>>1207322
put armor back on put it back on! oh shit
>>
>>1207322
Doesnt Clackie have 4 end? Or does his armor give +3? Also arrive at the pitfighting place
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1207322
start using our two hand sword for that STR bonus
>>
>>1207322
Armoks second attack only managed to kill 5 rats out of the 35 left. So now there's 30 rats left.
>>
>>1207325
that
>>
>>
>>1207334
we cant? says who show me DAH rules!
>>
>>1207334
We cant fight WITH our armor*
>>
Rolled 3, 2, 3, 4, 4, 5, 6, 6, 1, 1, 6, 2, 2, 4, 6, 1, 2, 4, 5, 3, 6, 5, 5, 2, 2 = 90 (25d6)
>>1207323
"Hey! No putting back on armors. If you do you forfeit the fight"
>>1207324
HIs armor gives +3 END and +1 STR
>>1207325
No bonuses here m8. Since this is less of a battle and more of a minigame
>>1207335
And so Gobbolina wakes up. Finding everybody else has left the camp site to do something. Except for the snekman and weredragonwolf. Who are still sleeping.
>>
>>1207337
Its against the contract that we signed, technically it was a verbal contract. But still.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1207341
oh I see
KILL THEM ALL
rolling again
>>
>>1207341
NIGGA KEEP TRACK OF OUR STUFF HOLY SHIT
and do some mumbo jumbo.
>>
>>1207341
oh fuck, they must have went off looking for the pirate captain, considering how all in they are with progress. I'm gonna get out my
TRUSTY TREASURE MAP
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1207341
keep killing
>>
>>
>>1207355
A map that will lead me exactly to where black beard is...?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1207355
almost done killing all these RATS
>>
>>1207355
Arrive at the entrance to the pitfighting place with kid and Fib
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1207355
do we get to fight boss battle at the end?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d5)
CLACKIE CHAN starts to spout some zen mumbo jumbo
"Wise Orc once said, to get an elf...."
YELLOWS roll 2d5
First roll is to see if it actually works, second is to see which stat is it that gets buffed
1 - Int
2 - Cha
3 - DEX
4 - STR
5 - END
Everyone else not Yellow ignore this post
>>
Rolled 1, 3 = 4 (2d5)
>>1207365
>>
Rolled 5, 2 = 7 (2d5)
>>1207365
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1207365
keep killing rats
>>
>>1207374
"...you go and talk to it or some shit"
Clackie now has a buff of +1 CHA. Yay
Anyway, what's everone else's doing.
>>
>>1207322
Good, now can you tell my why elves are inferior to all other races?
>>
Whoops forgot pic
>>
>>1207382
Talking to the shady guy at the entrance of pit fight thing
>>
>>1207388
ok Fib, Jet, little human... watch our stuff make sure no one tales it sells it or borrows it.
>>
>>1207394
because you rolled a 5 he took your roll.
>>
Rolled 4, 1, 4, 5, 3, 2, 6 = 25 (7d6)
>>1207384
"Cuz they're elves"
>>1207391
"Greetings, are you here to join? Or to watch?"
>>1207399
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1207404
one rat left oh shit
>>
>>1207404
Good lad.
We're here to watch, gotta get this kid a well rounded education.
>>
>>1207404
Spectator seats for three, please.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207404
look at the last rat eyes while we slowly kill it
>>
>>1207404
Give our stuff to jet ree. We dont trust these underground folk
>>
>>1207407
Armok now face:
KING RAT
STR: 3
DEX: 5
END: 3
INT: 1
CHA: 2
>>1207408
>>1207409
"2 Gold, lads. The kid gets a children discount so he can watch for free"
>>1207412
Wit for him to get inside first
>>
>>1207415
ready our defense since we'll be last in turn order
>>
>>1207415
FINALLY, A WORTHY OPPONENT
HOWDYthis stats reminds me of Dick
>>
>>1207415
do we have regular pants to fight in?
>>
>>1207415
We're the orc's managers, could you let us in?
>>
>>1207415
Pay the man.
>>
>>1207422
Yeah im pretty sure we do.
>>
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1207435
REEE
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1207435
it doesn't have beautiful smile, it can't be Dick
dodge
>>
>>1207435
Take a seat with kid and look disappointedly at Fib
>>
>>1207445
get our stuff you dummy
>>
>>1207439
It missed! Clearly it's used to lunging at much taller enemies.
>>1207445
>>
>>1207435
Ok Jet, you can go find Clackie, me and the kid will save you a seat.
Hey kid, what's yer name?
>>
>>1207448
CLEAVE RAT KING WITH OUR SWORD
>>
>>1207388
MAN WHAT A MAP
LOVE IT
>>
>>1207448
Jump down into the pit and take care of Clackie's stuff
>>
>>1207445
Like he woulda really let us in, pff.
>>
>>1207454
What are we even here for anyway?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207451
>>1207450
Attacking with sword
Roll 1d6
No bonuses since str stat of both parties are the same
>>1207452
Stuff taken care of
>>1207449
"Bob. What's yours?"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1207462
rolling
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1207462
I thought we got a bonus for attacking with the sword
>>
>>1207448
Give our shit to jet ree
>>
>>1207462
let's begin the match DING DING
>>
>>1207462
Give our shit to jet and run to the match nigga
>>
>>1207462
awesome. We gotta go to skull rock.
But first: lets watch som cage fighting. I'll go to the arena.
>>
>>1207466
This 2handed sword has no bonuses because Barb was a cheap faggot who still use default equipment
>>
>>1207462
Fib Smogee, professional forest hobo.
>>
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1207478
>>1207482
"Is your hair real?"
>>1207465
Smack. King Rat has 2 HP lef, .it will attempt to bite you now
+5 it
+1 You
>>1207470
>>1207469
Clackie's first opponent: Bald tavern patron!
STR: 4
DEX: 3
END: 3
INT: 1
CHA: 1
>>1207474
"Welcome to the arena. Where fights happens and they're totally not gay, unlike the underground pit fights. Our fighters keep their shirts on"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207488
REEEEEEEEEEE
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1207488
dodging
>>
>>1207494
[CHEAP PRODUCTION VALUES]
>>
>>1207488
ok let's start the fight, palm strike
>>
>>1207488
yeah but I'm like into that japanese genre where the men have the sex. Yuri I think.
So thanks, I'll go watch the gay version.
>>
>>1207488
Mmmmmmpalm strike
>>
>>1207497
sword cleave, go
>>
>>1207488
Of course it is. The Almighty gave it to us, during a bullshitbutcool moment of our life.
>>
>>1207497
toss few explosions in or something
>>
>>1207499
YAOI! I'm all into Yaoi.
>>
>>1207505
sure you are fag
>>
>>1207506
Oh look at the guy not wanting me to get to the pit fights where the party is.
Completely sabotaging any momentum forward.
>>
>>1207508
easy yuri fag, it's cool you like chicks, so do I.
>>
>>1207510
yeah but I've got eyelashes man.
I can't be doing that eyelash on eyelash shit, it's not natural.
>>
Rolled 6, 5, 6 = 17 (3d6)
>>1207501
Roll 1d6. You're against my first roll
>>1207500
Roll 2d6. Your first roll against my second roll
+4 Him
+5 You
If attack hits, your second roll is against my third roll for stun chance
>>1207499
>>1207505
The guard looks at Gobbolina derisively
>>
Rolled 4, 4 = 8 (2d6)
>>1207516
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207516
clanks
>>
>>1207516
Also, can we take the poncho and cut it out slightly so that it can fit us? I want a poncho we can hide our weapon under so that we can have mexican standoffs n'shit.
>>
Rolled 4, 5 = 9 (2d6)
>>1207516
>>
>>1207516
yeah no I'm into the guy stuff okay so I'll go down to the pits thank you very much.
>>
>>1207520
Yes, but like the reds you'll have to roll for it
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1207516
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207523
Behold the hobo needlework
>>
Rolled 4, 6, 1 = 11 (3d6)
>>1207524
>>1207521
MISSED! YOUR ENEMIES ARE COUTNER ATTACKING!
Reds against my first roll, Yelows againts my second
+5 King Rat
+1 Armok
+5 Clackie
+4 Bald dude
>>1207522
"Yeah sure fag. HEY EVERYONE, LOOK AT THIS MIDGET LESBO OVA HERE"
>>1207525
You're against my third roll
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1207532
we take the hit
cause we can't dodge that
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1207532
>>
>>1207532
GODDAMNIT
WHOSE DICK DO I HAVE TO SUCK TO GET TO THE FUCKING PIT FIGHTS
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1207532
>>
>>1207533
4 HP left
>>1207534
Blocked!
>>1207535
"MINE! I SHALL VOLUNTEER!"
"NO! I WILL!"
"NO! I WILL VOLUNTEER!"
"I'M SPARTACUS!"
Their yelling drowned out the orc telepathy
>>
>>1207544
SWORD CLEAVE AGAIN
>>
>>1207544
So we got our poncho or what?
>>
>>1207544
I will use the confusion resulting from horny guardsmen to follow the orc telepathy.
>>
>>
>>1207544
Flying kickuuuu!
>>
>>1207544
flying kick
>>
>>1207545
that
>>
Rolled 4, 2 = 6 (2d6)
>>1207545
>>1207550
>>1207551
Roll 1d6
NO bonuses for anybody because everyone has a +3 in this case
>>1207547
Yes. I just ran outta space
>>1207548
The Orc Telepathy has disappeared (because yellows stopped doing it)
"Anyway you ever thought about goblin and human relationships?"
"Why the shit would we think about that?"
"I dunno, just askin'....Cuz their tiny bodies make my dick look massive by comparision"
"Really nigga"
"Yes"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1207556
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1207556
>>
>>1207556
fekk
Well I'll use the confusion to go to the pit fights anyways
>>
>>1207556
Flying kick gives an additional +2 though
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1207556
rolling for CHESTOOOOOOOO
>>
>>1207561
Son of a bitch, how dare youuuuuuuuu. Of all the potatoes, I have to get the one with a good memory
>>
>>1207564
128 mb of RAM
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1207556
Flying kick gives a +2 to attack on dex
>>
Rolled 5, 3 = 8 (2d6)
Arright, so thatsa hit for both Red and yellow.
The King rat has 1 HP left while bald dude 2
NOw they're gonna attack again
Reds against my first roll, Yelows againts my second
+5 King Rat
+1 Armok
+5 Clackie
+4 Bald dude
>>1207560
"Hold up there. Midget Lesbo"
"Yeah. Stop right there!....Why are we stopping her?"
"Well judging from her getup, this goblin is clearly a pirate. And pirates are criminals"
"Ah yes, of course! Stop right there, criminal scum!"
"This isn't just some elaborate scheme to get your dick sucked is it?"
"Of course not. How dare you imply such things?!"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207584
take the hit, we're not dodging it
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1207584
CHESTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207584
>>
>>1207584
Shout up to Fib and ask him if he could go look for Gobbolina
>>
>>1207591
We gotta watch the kid. Get up here and look after him so we can go.
>>
>>1207584
oh come on. the guards in this town are the most dangerous and irresponsible lot I've ever seen.
Okay, I try to fob him off with a handy.
>>
>>1207592
Throw him down here, gotta look after Clackie's stuff too
>>
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1207597
CLEAVE EVILLLL
>>
>>
>>1207597
Whoops forgot pic
>>
>>1207601
palm strike again
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1207599
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207597
Pretty much impossible to beat that right?
>>
Rolled 4, 3, 5, 4 = 16 (4d6)
>>1207611
You're against my first roll
>>1207604
Roll 2d6. Your first roll against my second roll
+4 Him
+5 You
If attack hits, your second roll is against my third roll for stun chance
>>1207609
"Bitch please. Both your hands couldn't wrap around my dick."
>>1207606
Roll 1d6 against my fourth roll
+1 You
+2 Kid
>>
Rolled 4, 6 = 10 (2d6)
>>1207615
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1207615
It's like a backstage pass, kid, c'mon.
>>
>>1207615
>"Bitch please. Both your hands couldn't wrap around my dick."
Oh right, I thought that's what you're after.
So what am I accused of?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1207615
C'mon boy, you'll see the fight better
>>
Rolled 6, 3 = 9 (2d6)
>>1207615
>>
>>1207622
Sorry, trip
>>
>>1207622
dude I had him
>>
Rolled 4, 2 = 6 (2d6)
Armok missed!
>>1207622
Hit! But didn't stun!
Both Reds and Yellows opponents have 1 HP left
NOw they're gonna attack again
Reds against my first roll, Yelows againts my second
+5 King Rat
+1 Armok
+5 Clackie
+4 Bald dude
>>1207618
Fib tries to push the kid. But he doesn't budge
>>1207619
"Being a dirty pirate. A criminal profession"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1207626
fucking, damn it I'm a little mad
>>
>>1207626
take the hit niggaaaaaa
>>
>>1207626
We'll use charisma to convince him to go!
>>
>>1207626
>"Being a dirty pirate. A criminal profession"
Is this because of my hat? Because I can take off my hat.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1207626
take the hit
>>
>>
>>1207634
yah but my roll would have finished it, I'm just annoyed you werent paying attention well enough to see that.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207626
>>
>>
>>1207642
flying kick
>>
>>1207642
ROCKETO PUNCH AGAIN
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1207642
It'll be awesome, kid.
>>
>>1207642
Flying kick my dude
>>
>>1207642
That seems awfully presumptous. Assuming I was a pirate (to which I am yet to see any evidence), what would be the punishment?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1207642
ROCKETTO PUNCH
>>
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1207654
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1207654
god damn it
>>
>>1207654
He's all yours, Jet.
Now, let's go get Gobbolina.
>>
>>1207654
Watch the kid, make sure he makes it to Jet alright.
Fib a good sitter.
>>
>>1207654
Come here kid. Clackie's about to do his grand finisher!
>>
>>1207654
>"Well it's either a hanging or life in prison"
What if I can prove that I'm not a pirate?
>>
>>1207655
AND WITH A SWIFT FLYING KICK IN THE FACE! CLACKIE WINS HIS FIRST FIGHT! WITH NO DAMAGE! The crowd goes wild, there was loads of hollering and a hootin.
While Armok gets bitten by the rat again, dropping down to 1 HP
In other news the kid went down to where jet Ree is to watch the fight while Fib watches on
>>
>>1207664
COME ON RNG
WE CAN FUCKING DO IT
ONE LAST ROCKET PUNCH
>>
>>1207664
Excellent. Woof, lead us to Gobbolina!
>>
>>1207664
How much is the pay per winning, if I may ask? Ask one of the pit guards
>>
>>1207664
Woooooooh yah!
it was an honor to fight yo-
WOOOOOOOOHHH YAAAAAAAAHHHH!
>>
>>1207667
Shit keeps throwing off my name
>>
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1207673
>>
>>
>>1207673
do these fights count as exp?
>>
>>1207673
>"And how are you gonna do that?"
How about showing you that I couldn't possibly be a pirate by killing one of 'my own'? If I was a pirate, I would of course adhere to some sort of pirate code (I have read in pirate related non-pirate literature). So I wouldn't kill, say Murderbeard, a pirate I have read about in a wanted poster. I can bring you his head and show you thusly that I can't possibly be a pirate.
>>
>>1207674
King Rat has died
>>1207677
Kinda sorta-ish. Yes, but very small.
>>
>>1207679
loot Rat King and collect reward
>>
>>1207679
next fight nigggaaaaaaaa
>>
>>1207678
"Very well. Bring me his head and your charges wil be lifted"
>>1207680
YOU GOT: Nothing
Because it's a rat
>>
>>1207684
well okay
collect reward from the guy then
>>
>>1207684
Also, on the way to find Gobbolina we can check the job board again to see if there's anything else we could do
>>
>>1207684
what about exp and crown
and what job pays
>>
>>
>>1207692
oh can we stop? I thought we were stuck in pit fight till we were done?
>>
>>1207687
>>1207690
What EXP? It's a fookin rat. And the crown is merely an illlllusion.
BUt you did get 5 gold for about fifty rats
>>1207688
- House cleaner
- Scarecrow
- Bodyguard
>>1207692
"Of course"
Gobbolina has been tagged by a wizard. The guards in town can check on her if she's doing anything illegal.
>>1207695
Well yes. You can forfeit and stop the fights and leave with your current winnings, which is 4 gold. And not fight THE BLIND HOBO
>>
>>1207697
see what we can buy at the equipment shop
>>
>>1207697
heal up
>>
>>1207695
It dont matta
WE AINT STOPPIN TILL THE SUN COME UUUUP~
WERE HARD FIGHTIN LETS ALL GET DOWN~
HEY HEY LETS GO KINKATSURU~
SAIGASHIMONO, PROTECT MY BALLS~
>>
>>1207697
Ey Clackie mind switchin me?
>>
>>1207700
well I would like to move on to the quest
>>
>>1207697
>Gobbolina has been tagged by a wizard. The guards in town can check on her if she's doing anything illegal.
this is great. I'll go see if I can find my party. But I will not go to the pits in fear that that would count as illegal.
>>
>>1207701
no you gotta watch the kid
>>
>>1207697
Need more details on the bodyguard job. Maybe we can take it.
>>
>>
>>1207705
Are you nuts?
>>
>>1207706
if are going one more round then I wanna finish it.
>>
>>1207698
>>1207699
"Whuh? Whozzat? Who's there?"
>>1207703
"Good you do that. And remember, we'll be watching. Always. Like some sort of demented Santa Clause. So you better go adn get that pirate. Also remember to stock up on healing and revival items."
Other teams, resolve your issues
>>
>>1207709
That's fine by me
>>
>>
>>1207710
next match blind hobo
>>
>>1207710
down here
nice hat by the way
ask if he has any STR weapons or stuff that can buff our power armor
>>
>>1207712
>Whenever OP feels like it? what's the metric?
Yeah that's basically it
>>
>>1207707
Nope. We can take Clackie or Gobbolina with us.
Never said we would do it alone.
>>
>>
>>1207717
Let's find the grilgob first, ok?
>>
>>1207716
gonna be honest, that was my assumption.
>>
>>1207721
why don't you go Jet, I'm gonna finish my fight.
>>
>>1207722
Why though? Let her do her own thing.
We should also go to the armor store to stop being so squishy.
>>
>>1207710
Oi!
Im still here and yellow
Fight hobo dude
>>
>>1207724
Hm? So I'll keep on watching the kid?
>>
>>1207725
Wecan make our own armor. We'd still have it, too, if our party would stop throwing us at things.
>>
>>1207715
"Well yes of course. We have Bigass swords and bigass hammers. We can also apply an additional coat of armor to yours. Or install more ale receptors"
MEANWHILE BLIND HOBO WAITS FOR THE ORC
STR:4
DEX:4
END:3
INT:1
INT:1
Note that only Clackie applied for the fights, not Jet Ree. But you can because all orcs look alike
The other goblins contemplate their next course of action
>>
>>1207732
ok foight!
>>
>>1207732
let's see the stats and price on all of those then.
I'm very interested in the ale receptor.
>>
>>1207732
I'll buy a revival kit.
>>
>>1207731
Yeah but we have to actually hunt for it.
Plus, i think real armor made of iron is harder to break, so we wouldn't have that problem.
>>
>>1207732
Palmu striku
>>
>>1207737
You think armor would stop them from throwing us? Fine, maybe Gobbolina is at the armor merchant's
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1207734
"Both the sword and hammer gives you a +1 when attacking. But the sword can hit 2 enemies in a row as a regular attack. While the hammer can be used to unleash a shockwave to hit 4 enemies in the front and back row. The armor plating gives your armor 1 END point. The ale receptors doesn't do anything to stats but gives you more ale to drink"
>>1207736
Revival Kit bought. Party now has 13 Gold left
>>1207739
Hobo goes first.
Roll 1d6
+4 Hobo
+5 You
>>
>>1207744
another thing: I'd like to go to the liquor store for different rum throwing stuff
>>
>>1207744
Alright
how much if we trade in the sword we currently have for the sword there?
likewise, how much is the armor plating?
finally, how much is the ale receptor?
>>
>>1207744
Place hand on kid's head and search his soul for orc monk potential
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207744
>>
>>1207744
Fib goes to the armor shop
>>
>>1207744
Auto success. Neat
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1207744
mystery box?
>>
>>1207753
"It holds my underwear, do you want that?"
>>1207747
THe stoe owner asks what would you like
>>1207750
Blocked
>>1207751
Fib arrives and see Armok in the middle of browsing
>>1207749
Roll 1d6 fo kids potential
2-3: Nothing. He's more suited to human pursuits
4: He can become an Orc Monk
5: he can become a great Orc Monk
6: He can become a grandmaster Orc Monk, even stronger than you and Clackie combined
1: He can become a grandmaster Orc Monk, even stronger than you and Clackie combined, but he will use it for evil
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207756
Oh shit
>>
>>1207756
palm strike
>>
>>1207756
Some gobbo sized armor, please
>>
>>1207756
Hey, what do you have for gobs?
>>
>>1207756
Palm strike my dude
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1207756
ask fib for healing
then ask shop owner for price on all those
>>
>>1207756
I'd like some liquor that, when thrown on people, makes them better - maybe makes them ignore pain, or maybe makes them stagger so they can't be hit as easily, or just make them more charming because they're just that endearingly slightly drunk.
>>
>>
Rolled 1, 6 = 7 (2d6)
>>1207763
>>1207765
"Well everything I just showed you cost 3 gold. While the Ale costs 5. It's imported dwarven stuff. And that sword can get you 1 gold"
>>1207761
>>1207760
"well we do have some metal hemets and plates in your size. Costing 2 each"
>>1207766
"Then try our collection of Capn' Happy Pants Rum. So good that you won't know what hits you until you drink some"
>>1207759
You know the drill, roll 2d6
+4 Hobo
+5 You
>>
Rolled 4, 1 = 5 (2d6)
>>1207772
Guaranteed hits are nice
>>
>>1207772
oh, is that Capn' Happy similar in effect to that which, for example, Dwarven Ale has on Dwarves?
If so, I'll take it!
>>
>>1207772
So kid, any idea when your dad's gonna be home?
>>
>>1207772
trade the sword with better one add more armor.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1207772
alright, so that gives us 6 gold in spending power
trade sword and 5 gold for the new sword and the extra armor plating
lock in, final decision
WE DID GOOD TODAY, REDS
>>
Rolled 1, 3 = 4 (2d6)
>>1207772
>>
>>1207772
Tell me about the metal plate. Will it fit under my poncho?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1207777
Armok now has 6 END and +1 when attacking
-6 gold
>>1207774
"Oh yes. Here you go"
-5 gold
Party now has 3 Gold
>>1207781
>>1207785
"Yes. It gives you 1 END point"
>>1207775
"I dunno. He says it's gonna be late"
>>1207773
He'll counterattack! With a swift kick! Roll 1d6
+4 him
+3 You
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1207789
>>
>>1207789
hey, -5 gold, we traded in the sword
>>
>>1207789
well party, we worked for and earned our own gear
let's regroup in the tavern and move onto the nearest port town
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1207789
>>
>>1207789
Buy the plate.
>>
>>1207791
we were at 13 gold
OP calculated it, so now we're at 3 gold
>>
>>1207789
Yeah, we buy the plate.
Also, do you know of any shaman/druid/mage in town? We could buy some talismans or learn magic from him
>>
>>1207795
armor cost 3, sword costs 3, trade in earns 1
one gold short no matter how you look at itTODD
>>
>>1207798
you serious
13-6-5+1=3
learn your math
>>
>>1207800
math is hard, not enough rocks to count with
>>
>>1207797
"Sold! To the little green one for 2 gold. Oh and regarding your question, I think I saw one living under our bridge"
1 Gold left in party stash
>>1207790
>>1207793
Smack! Now both you and him has 2 HP left!
>>
>>1207803
ask Fib for heals, then regroup at tavern
>>
>>1207803
To the bridge!
>inb4 doubletroll
>>
>>1207803
counter with our own FLYING KICKU
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1207804
>>1207807
Armok leaves for the tavern. Fib goes to the bridge.
Gobbolina stands around with her new rum.
Chester and Master Betty are still asleep.
>>1207809
+4 Hobo
+5 You
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1207811
>>
>>1207811
Woof, where's the bridge druid? He should smell like wet weed.
>>
>>1207811
I'll use Fib's goblin musk to find him and join up with him.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207814
>>1207815
"WHUH?!WHO'S THERE?! I AINT GOT NO WEED IF YER A GUARD! If you're not then please, step into my office so we can discuss transactions"
>>1207813
Hit!
He'll punch back!
Roll 1d6
+4 Hobo
+5 Clackie
>>
>>1207819
I'll stay behind the newly armoured Fib.
But you should share the weed, Fib. Or pass the blunt or whatever
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207819
this roll is to defend
next move is to punch
>>
>>1207819
We enter into the druid's office and use Pass The Blunt get a friendly atmosphere going on
>>
let's hope we won't drinkall spare gold leftwhile waiting for the party
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1207822
Blocked! Only 1 HP left for him!
Roll 1d6
+4 Hobo
+5 Clackie
>>1207821
>>1207824
You stepped into his office. Which is just the shady part under the bridge.
"Ah, another druid I see. How can I help ya my dude?"
>>
>>1207830
if you want booze, you can come to me.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1207831
and with that we take our earnings and meet up with the party ready to embark on a new adventure.
>>
>>1207831
I'm going pirate hunting, and was hoping a bridge druid of such fine esteem as yourself might share some sweet skills or suchlike for dealing with aquatic foes. Or just some sweet leaf.
>>
AND SO CLACKIE COLLECTED HIS EARNINGS.
AND NOW THE PARTY HAS 5 GOLD
THEY ALL MEET UP UNDER THE BRIDGE. EXCEPT FOR JET REE, WHO IS STILL BABYSITTING. AND THE ORANGE PURPLE ONES, WHO ARE STILL IN THE RESERVE SLOTS.
>>1207838
"Well I can do that, my pointy eared dude. I have with me a fine collection of water resistance talismans. Or this sweet batch of weed. Your call"
>>
>>1207845
Take the kid to his house and look if dads returned
>>
>>1207845
use the money to buy health items
>>
>>1207845
Share some booze with Clackie
>>
>>1207849
take some and still but some health items
>>
>>1207845
Can we see 'em both before deciding? I know you got some quality leaves in your stash, but the Forest Druid oaths are clear on the matter: "Always check the product before buying"
>>
>>1207849
throw some happy cappn' at the dwarf.
>>
>>1207846
"So, what do Orc monks do exactly?"
>>1207848
"Greetings my friend. Care for some potions? Only 1 gold each"
>>1207853
>>1207853
"Here you go my man"
>>1207854
>>1207855
Armok drinks Happy Cap'n and finds it quite tasty. In fact, it's as tasty as the Dwarven Ale he's used to. My god, the humans have managed to catch up with Dwavern Alcohol Technology, the implications are troubling.
>>
>>1207859
I'll take 2 potions and 2 life med kits
>>
>>1207859
Look worried
>>
>>1207859
We beat up stuff. Mostly each other, but all in good spirit. We also meditate and drink lots of alcohol.
>>
>>1207859
drink a bit of happy Cap'n myself.
>>
>>1207859
I got an idea, actually.
You gimme 4 water talismans, and then we exchange some of your wetweed for some of my bushweed. Sound like a deal, dude?
>>
>>
>>1207871
>This is good shit
But no stat differences? Or do I have to find out in combat?
>>
>>1207871
Share some alcohol with Fib to boost his stats for Charisma
>>
>>1207871
A drunk who can beat up people and take a nap whenever he feels like it, what's not to like?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1207871
send some happy cap'n home for further analysys
>>
>>1207874
You'll find out in combat
>>
>>1207871
head back to party and wait for them to get going for port village.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207871
>>
>>1207880
good shit
>>
>>1207876
"Oh so you're some sort of violent hobo"
>>1207879
The dwavern brewmasters will have their work cut out for them
>>1207878
>>1207885
"Shit, dude. I smoked plenty of that shit before setting up shop here."
IF FIB WISHES TO TRY AGAIN, THIS TIME WITH A HAPPY CAP'N SAT BOOST. Then first roll a 1d5
1-STR
2-DEX
3-END
4-CHA
5-INT
If not then the party can think of something else
>>
>>1207890
Allright kid, enough with the questions. We're at your house
>>
>>1207890
Guess it's just the talismans, then.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207890
>The dwavern brewmasters will have their work cut out for them
WE MUST NOT LOSE IN OUR ALCOHOL QUALITY
REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY A PART OF SECRET GUILD OF BEERMASTERS, NO HUMAN BEER MUST BE ABLE TO BE ON PAR WITH OUR OWN
>>
>>1207890
And you don't wanna go back to the good ol' days? Shiiiiit man, you know how it is with bushweed, it brings back all the nostalgia
>>
>>1207891
"Well it's my bedtime. Tell me a bedtime story"
>>1207894
>a 2
The Brewmasters failed to discover the secret to human rum. All dwarves suffer a -1 STR shame debuff
>>1207893
>>1207895
So which is it fegs
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1207907
>The Brewmasters failed to discover the secret to human rum. All dwarves suffer a -1 STR shame debuff
hold on OP, I didn't roll yet
give them another chance
>>
>>1207907
Jet, tell him the story of the 3 berserkers and the big fag elf.
>>
>>
>>1207907
Once upon a time there were 3 orc berserkers. They walked in a forest, and they saw a big fag elf. Although all elves are fags, this one was extra faggy. They went up to the elf and smushed him to paste. The end.
>>
>>1207918
[loud snoring]
>>1207910
And so they discovered the secret to Capn' Happypants Rum. All dwarves no longer has a debuff. the end.
>>
>>1207919
AW SHIT
HAVE ANOTHER SWIG OF CAPN' HAPPYPANTS RUM
>>
Wheres my character>>1207919
>>
>>1207919
we ready to head out?
>>
>>1207919
Wait in the living room for dad to get back
>>
>>1207919
>And so they discovered the secret to Capn' Happypants Rum. All dwarves no longer has a debuff. the end.
BUT WILL OUT ALCOHOL GET BETTER?!?!
and what the secret was
>>
>>1207919
MINE! We play on the druid's nostalgia. Maybe share some stories of our first fuck-ups
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207923
Master Betty the Half Dragon Werewolf Man? Just woke up from the back of the party formation
>>1207928
AND THE SECRET WAS...the other dwarves refused to share in order keep a monopoly, but hey, at least >>1207922 it tastes good
>>1207929
Roll 1d6 to play on the druid's nostalgia
+2 You
+3 Him
>>
>>1207935
>he other dwarves refused to share in order keep a monopoly,
well as long it's nothing disgusting
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1207935
>>
>>1207938
AND SO THE PARTY GOT:
A box of weed
Wait,w hat's that sound? Sounds like armored footsteps
>>
>>1207941
OH SHIT IT'S THE GUARDS
>>
>>1207941
Shit, hide the weed in our poncho, under the iron plate.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1207941
Quicky hide the weed between our leg, everybody know that goblin have large wang.
>>
>>1207941
take off toward the port
>>
>>1207945
>>1207946
>>1207949
"WHAT UP BITCHES"
"WE KNOW YOU'VE BEEN TRADING WEED"
"THE TINY FEMALE GOBLIN LEAD US TO YOU"
"AND DON'T TRY TO HIDE IT UNDER YOUR PONCHO, GOBLIN DRUID"
"EVERYBODY KNOWS MALE GOBLINS HAVE NO DICKS"
>>
>>1207953
grab gobs and run to port!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1207953
Offer them weed.
>>
>>1207953
flame breath on weed for smoke screen
>>
>>1207919
My sense of urgency is tingling. Is the dad back yet? If not, I grab the kid and run to the port
>>
>>1207953
TURN INTO A BIRD AND FLY AWAY!
>>
>>1207953
Ah shit. I didn't know weed was illegal here.
>>
>>1207959
"EY WHAT THE SHIT"
"GET THEM!"
And so the party ran outta town towards the nearest port. Which will take 2 days of travelling, as I already stated in the OP
>>1207960
"Oh hey Jet Ree. Where ya going? How was Bob Jr? Was he good?"
>>
>>1207953
Chill dudes, we got a card. Totally legit and legal.
>>
>>1207968
He was good, he's sleeping now. Could you give me the reward since I'm in a hurry?
>>
>>1207969
They would've brought us in for questioning anyway.
>>
>>1207970
"Oh okay sure. 6 Gold for you my good man"
The party now has 7 gold
>>
>>1207974
Wheredragon skill list and possible actions please
>>
>>1207974
Thank him and start running towards Clackie's chi aura thingie
>>
>>1207974
By the way, can we equip our wolf a eyepath and one of bandit boss knife?
>>
>>1207974
hurry get of town the fuzz is after us
>>
>>1207979
Why? We stay in the back anyway, and have the handcannon if we need to attack
>>
>>1207975
Yes, here be Master Betty, the Halfdragon Werewolfman, 's character sheet
-Fire Breath: ranged attack, use STR as bonus, if hit may burn target for 2 turns
-Wings: Allow you to fly, in combat if used you get 1 free dodge
-Bite: Your basic attack, use STR as bonus
-Claw Swipe: Quickly swipe 2 enemies standing next to each other, uses DEX as bonus
>>
>>1207985
Look behind to see if the guards are still chasing
>>
AND NOW, AS THE PARTY ESCAPES THE TOWN, THEY MUST CHOOSE WHICH WAY TO RUN. EITHER WILL LEAD TO THE PORT TOWN, BTW
>>1207979
No, because it's a wolf. Unless you meet some osrt of Beastmaster that can train it to do that.
>>
>>1207983
It is more or less backup plan if enemy somehow ambushed us in melee plus wolf with knife is cool.
>>
>>1207987
Plains of unassuming beasts
>>
>>1207987
unassuming beasts, we've been there before
>>
>>1207987
Deep Dark Forest of safe, dark places.
>>
>>1207987
Is Jet caught up with the party yet?
>>
>>1207994
Yes
>>
ALright, so. Everyone wants to head for the plains. Except for Green team. Who wants to fly into the Deep Dark Forest instead, due to currently being a bird.
That right?
>>
>>1207998
sure why not
>>
>>1207998
Nah, actually, i wanna go to the plains.
We gonna die if we go alone.
>>
>>1207998
Ok... we follow along with rest of the party...
>>
>>1207998
Split the party during travel? Not a good idea. Just sit on Gobbolina's shoulder.
>>
>>1208004
She won't be able to carry us. Sitting on Armok is safer.
>>
>>1208006
We a tiny bird, it'll be fine.
>>
>>1208004
Why sitting on Gobbolina'shoulder when you can...holding hand...with her...
>>
>>1208008
I'll hold you on my shoulder, if it makes me appear more heterosexual.
>>
And so the party escape towards the plains.
"THAT'S RIGHT! RUN! RUN, CRIMINAL SCUM!"
>>1208010
That's worth like 5 lifetimes in prison
>>
>>1208017
show us a map of where were going, OP
>>
>>1208017
welp we ain't going back again or at least tell this quest is over
>>
>>1208017
>That's worth like 5 lifetimes in prison
Complety worth it.
>>
>>1208017
Ye, so we run.
>>
>>1208020
"So Cap'n. Why did we chase after them anyway? Everybody smokes weed in this town"
"So they'd get off their asses and go kill the pirate already"
>>
>>1208033
Slow down our pace so we have a moment to regroup
>>
>>1208033
>10
my kind of guards
>>
>>1208033
Fib will fly over the river of probable monsters and go scout the hole. It seems suspicious.
>>
>>1208033
I told youse the forest would have been safer.
Chirp.
>>
>>1208033
>mfw literally everyone smoked weed
even the healer
sheeeit
>>
>>1208036
You really are tryin to get us killed, aren't you?
Also, I think thats days away.
>>
>>1208034
>>1208036
That'll take a day
>>1208038
Especially the healer
>>
>>1208036
Be real careful as fuck!!! You will never know if a giant monster live in that hole.
>>
>>1208041
waaaa@it
what's that?!
>>
>>1208041
Nooop, not flying a whole day away. We can scout when we're closer.
>>
>>1208043
That's Master Betty
>>
>>1208043
WHAT'S WHAT?!
roll 1d6 to see what is it
6: Nothing
4-5:Something Good
2-3: Something Bad
1: Assrape Machine Mk 5000 Deluxe
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1208051
>>
>>1208053
I knew it
>>
>>1208053
the time has come
>>
>>1208053
Yellow Hitler we need u to roll pls
>>
>>1208053
OH SHI-
>>
>>1208054
this reaction made me laugh and I want you to know that.
>>
>>1208061
I didn't ask for this
>>
>>1208061
Is it gold? Woof, do you smell gold?
>>
>>1208061
Fuck! It want Half-Dragons's ass!!!!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
IT'S THE ASSRAPE MACHINE MK 5000 DELUXE! A GOLEM CREATED BY SOMEONE, WITH THE SOLE PURPOSE TO ASSRAPE ANYTHING IT SEES! AND IT SAW THE PARTY!
STR: 10
DEX: 10
END: 40
INT: 10
CHA: 10
RAPE: 9001
Skills:
- Assrape: will assrape a party member each turn
- Counter assrape: if successful in a defending roll, will assrape attacker
AND THE FIRST VICTIM OF ASSRAPING WOULD BE:
1- Goobolina
2- Fib Smogee
3- Armok
4- Jet Ree
5- Master Betty
6- Clackie Chan
>>
>>1208074
can we run op?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1208078
Not until [my roll] turns have passed and [my roll] asses have been raped
>>
>>1208079
Oh thank god our asses are spared
>>
>>1208079
fuck who is being raped here?
>>
Pretty badass, NaP
>>
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1208074
Use our headcannon on ARM MK5000's groin!!!
>>
>>1208087
Looks like its armored. Might wanna wait for the hatch to open
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1208086
no point in rolling then but I believe in fighting
>>
>>1208090
welp, when ever you guys need a low roll, I'm your orc
>>
>>1206978
what the fuck happened since Part 6, where's my Golem and homosexual Elf?
>>
>>1208086
If Jet had 1 more point in STR he could oneshot golem with Dim Mak, if u rolled 1, I rolled two 6
>>
>>1208094
Clackie killed the golem when i was at work one day and i didnt get a chance to defend.
>>
>>1208094
golem went auto pilot and fucked everyone over so he left to join bandit boss, elf who was a human was cleaved in two and now a blue goblin and a red armor dwarf took their place.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1208090
Golem has 9001 RAPE bonus
Clackie Chan has been assraped and will be unable to fight any longer in this battle.
>>
>>1208096
clackie didn't do that it was a team effort
>>
>>1208096
That's a very biased retelling.
>>
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>>1208094
>elf
stuff happened, i blame manlets
>>
>>1208099
my bet is that at the end of this game everyone is will have been ass raped.
>>
>>1208099
flamebreath oprn duct blow up like deathstar
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1208107
Roll 1d6
YOu ahve a +4 STR Bonus
HE ASSRAPE MACHINE MK 5000 DELUXE Has a +10 STR Bonus
Note that if ASSRAPE MACHINE MK 5000 DELUXE is successful in a defending roll, it will assrape attacker
>>
>>1208104
Always looking for something to blame, rock-for-brains.
Insecurities, much?
>>
>>1208074
I wanna throw rum at this guy for him to rape himself, but I don't wanna be assraped in counter
>>
>>1208102
I remembered you saying "fuck it, let's kill him" and it was downhill
>>
>>1208111
We should prepare by putting lub in our ass in case if we got raped by robot...
>>
The reason bingie died is because he was an asshole
>>
>>1208117
Or just fly away a bit. Because bird.
>>
>>1208117
That things dick is larger than your whole body. Pretty sure you'll die.
>>
So anyway. Master Betty got Counter-Assraped and is out of the battle too. Who's next?
Note that he will only go away after he active assrapes two more party members. Counter Assrapings doesn't count
>>
>>1208124
Dragons should have a racial feat to being used to assrape
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1208124
Draw a hentai manga and try to distract the rape golem with it.... Fuck we are gonna ass raped so hard anyway....
>>
>>1208124
Drink yourself into a stupor and wait for active ass raping.
>>
>>1208112
>insecurities
suuuuuuuuuuure, manlet will tell me about my insecurities
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1208126
Hey, that counts as an attack! Susceptible to Coutner-Assrapings
+2 CHA Fo you
+10 CHA Fo it
>>
>>1208124
damn was solving hw on calculator forgot to roll
>>
>>1208131
Also Fib has not only been assraped, he has also been KO'd and will need revival.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1208131
Good bye our virgin ass... We shall miss you...
>>
>>1208135
quick some one use the paradox to kill the robot
>>
>>1208131
Fuck it, sober up and use Dim Mak on golem
>>
>>1208126
You are retarded, aren't you?
>>
>>1208131
he should be bored now.
>>
>>1208139
I have a feeling despite acting smart, we will be ass raped anyway...
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1208138
CAN JET REE SAVE THE DAY?! HE HAS TEMPORARILY SOBERED UP. DOUBLING HIS CURRENT STATS TO:
STR:10
DEX: 6
END: 8
INT: 2
CHA: 2
Roll 2d6 To use Dim Mak
First roll is hit chance.
Second roll is to see if it kills the thing or not (Need >=5)
>>
>>1208143
OH SHIT!
>>
Rolled 5, 1 = 6 (2d6)
>>1208143
FUCK
>>
>>1208147
damn
>>
technically hat anon can join teal
>>
>>1208146
we can still run, he doesn't have to be bored he just needed one turn to ass rape and then we can run.
>>
>>1208143
okay, let's try this:
What's THAT?
>>
>>1208146
Shit... I need to take a break... My attention span is not sharp today...
>>
>>1208147
A hit! But it didn't OHK it....Now the thing has 39 HP left!
So Armok and Gobbolina can do something now. Or skip turn so it can choose its next victim
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1208155
rocketto punch it's crotch
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1208155
run the fuck away
contesting
>>
>>1208155
I'll put some rum in front of it, but I won't be doing anything that could be misconstrued as an attack
>>
>>1208155
Severe drawback is Jet suffers from alcohol withdrawal after attack, reducing all of his stats from base by half until he gets more alcohol
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1208160
RUN THE FUCK AWAY GOD DAMN IT
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1208160
welp
>>
>>1208162
and leave behind the KO'd people?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1208162
>>1208164
ARMOK TRIED TO RUN! BUT WAS CAUGHT! AND ASSRAPED!
THE ONLY PEOPLE LEFT WHO WERE NOT ASSRAPED ARE: GOBBOLINA AND JET REE
CHESTER DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE THAT PLAYER ISN'T EVEN ACTIVE, THAT'D BE UNFAIR TO INCLUDE HIM.
NOW GOBBOLINA CAN:
- Skip turn and hope it doesn't target her
- Do a desperate WHAT'S THAT roll with the following parameters:
roll 1d6 to see what appears next
6: Something able to destroy the Assraping Golem
4-5:Something Good
2-3: Something Bad
1: ANOTHER Assrape Machine Mk 5000 Deluxe
>>1208161
Naturally
>>
>>1208169
Don't mind my roll, it has nothing to do with anything
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1208169
Oh you know it.
hoping for a 1 or a 6. both have the result of 6.
>>
>>
>>1208172
sweet jesus
>>
>>1208172
THIS IS VERY FUNNY
>>
>people thought they stood a chance
>>
>>1208172
Hopefully they will try to assrape eachother
>>
>>1208115
no I don't but it may have been because you kept attacking people for a hat.
>>
Rolled 1, 1 = 2 (2d2)
>>1208172
OH LOOK A SECOND ONE. NOW THEY'RE BOTH GONNA ASSRAPE YOU
THE FIRST ONE WILL ASSRAPE:
1- Gobbolina
2- Jet Ree
THE SECOND ONE WILL ASSRAPE:
1- Gobbolina
2- Jet Ree
>>
>>1208179
AND SO GOBBOLINA GOT ASSRAPED. TWICE.
>>
>>1208179
WILDELY THROW RUM
>>
>>1208179
LEL
>>
>>1208180
hot.
>>
>>1208180
she kind of deserves it, not gonna lie
>>
>>1208179
That is very lewd...
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
AND NOW SINCE ONLY JET REE IS LEFT, THE GOLEMS DECIDE ON WHAT TO DO NOW
1- DP Jet Ree
2- 1 Assrapes Jet Ree while the other uses its dark magic to summon up the spirit of all past team members to assrape them all
3- 1 Assrapes Jet Ree while the other uses its dark magic to summon up the spirit of Barb to assrape
4- 1 Assrapes Jet Ree while the other uses its dark magic to summon up the spirit of Bing Bingie to assrape
5- 1 Assrapes Jet Ree while the other uses its dark magic to summon up the spirit of Richard to assrape
6- They leave
>>
>>1208189
Ah well, atleast I got the 2nd best option
>>
>>1208189
AND SO JET REE GOT ASSRAPED. TWICE.
NOW THE ENTIRE PARTY HAS BEEN ASSRAPED. THE GOLEMS LEAVE
>>
>>1208189
wait we aren't dead are we?
>>
>>1208192
try to block incident from memory
>>
>>1208184
says the guy who brought this upon us.
also we party wiped
>>
well, I always was Blue to begin with so I see no reason of leaving either way. Since current blue is a girl it's not g-gay right?
>>
>>1208195
you could have not rolled and been in the clear, but you had to go for it.
>>
>>1208192
Oh gee whiz I sure hope a group of butt bandits doesn't appear now when we're in a vulnerable state
>>
so I guess Richard got it less worse in the end
>>
AND SO THE ENTIRE PARTY, HAVING BEEN ASSRAPED, IS HIT WITH THE DEBUFF: DAMAGED ANUS. WHICH REDUCES EVERYONE'S HP TO 1 UNTIL IT IS TREATED.
EXCEPT FOR THE TWO GOBLINS, SINCE THEY HAVE 1 HP ALREADY. THE REST OF THEIR STATS GOT HIT INSTEAD. ROLL 1D3 BLUES AND GREENS, TO SEE WHICH STAT OF YOURS GOT REDUCED TO 1.
FOR BLUES:
1- DEX
2- STR
3- CHA
FOR GREENS:
1- INT
2- DEX
3- CHA
OH AND YOU ARE ALSO KO'D AND NEED TO BE REVIVED
>>
>>1208197
and nothing changed.
If we're dead now, we'd been dead with one.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d3)
>>1208203
>>
>>1208203
go get treated then
>>
>>1208203
also revive green and blue
>>
>>1208212
we might be able to be revived when treated?
>>
>>1208207
Well that's not too bad aint it. Your CHA was 2 anyway.
>>1208209
Your like a day and a half away from the nearest healer
>>
>>1208213
yeah I don't know, just want to get this revival thing going already.
>>
>>1208214
Ask Fib to heal our anuses after he's been revived
>>
>>1208214
is there nothing nearer than the coastal town?
>>
>>1208214
common help us out op, I only did "what is that" to start the journey.
>>
>>1208217
No. because life sucks.
>>
>>1208220
revive Fib already
>>
>>1208215
Gobbos revived
>>1208219
And I thought nobody would roll the Assrape Machine. But I was clearly wrong
>>
>>1208223
so have a heart op, or at least a chimps heart or pigs heart and help us out.
>>
>>1208225
hmmmm
>>
>>1208227
spawn buttbandits
>>
>>1208227
oh op, dear op, press the healer option, do it for the game to continue on.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d3)
>>1208227
Rolling for healer
>>
>>1208227
oh boy, I wonder what OP will do?
>>
>>1208231
How can you spawn Dick, he's dead
>>
>>1208231
hmmm
spawning dick seems like a better option than healer, traveler or buttbandits
>>
>>1208234
it's not on us to though.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1208231
SPAWN DICK
>>
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>>1208231
>>
>>1208233
I'm OP. I can just say some divine/unholy force revived him or something. But maybe....maybe spawn both Dick and some buttbandits.
>>
>>1208240
yeah, you've got two hands, OP
go for it
>>
>>1208240
How about a compromise with dickbandits
>>
>>1208240
spawn a hat.
>>
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>>1208240
>>
Let's compromise.
LOOK! It's Dick! Somehow revived into the coveted secret BLACK team. And he has a hat.
>>
>>1208249
guessing everyone checked out after rape
>>
>>1208257
Help us Dick, our asses are broken
>>
>>1208257
Dick you're alive!?
>>
>>1208257
OP, can I switch to Black?
>>
>>1208257
OH NO! BUT THEN A ROVING BAND OF BUTTBANDITS APPEARED!
"We require a butt to ravage"
>>
>>1208257
Hey Dick! Can I have your hat!
>>
>>1208265
Armok activates DEFEND ALL ability so that Dick can live and join the party even though it'll kill him
>>
>>1208265
I wish my ass wasn't bleeding and I wasn't knocked out.
>>
>>1208266
No, you can't
>>
>>1208270
we aren't knocked out just at 1 hp
>>
>>1208265
Never you fiend!
>>
Rolled 5, 6, 5, 2, 1, 6, 6, 5, 3, 2 = 41 (10d6)
>>1208267
"HMMM, these butts are already ravaged."
"We need a fresh butt"
"Hey you, black wearing fagmeister. Do you ahve an unravaged butt?"
"He looks like he does"
"Let's ravage it"
Note that there are 10 bandits and they have a +5 Buttbanditry bonus
>>1208268
ERROR: Dick has not joined to party
>>
>>1208271
no gimme your hat though
>>
>>1208280
oh, rip Dick then
idiots should've joined the party first
>>
>>1208280
try to snatch the hat
>>
>>
>>1208280
AND SO RICHARDs BUTT WAS RAVAGED BY 10 BUTT BANDITS. THEN HE DIED OF INTERNAL BLEEDING. THE END.
>>
>>1208285
I pray for Dick then.
>>
>>1208286
Alright so, time to get everyone else revived?
I hope the guards don't mind us coming back so soon, but running into two assrape machines has put a dent in our plans.
>>
>>1208286
Loot Dick for his black clothes so that ARMOK CAN BECOME THE TRUE BLACK DWARF
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1208286
>>
>>1208286
I'm pretty sure gigantic spiky metal dicks cause more bleeding than 10 normal dicks
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1208286
My guess is that party got so much assrape, they started seeing things regarding assrape
Still, Dick's smile is still alive in my heartrolling for SURVIVING
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYkACVDFmeg
>>
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1208299
>Nah, Dick's fucking dead. Dead. By fucking. In the Ass.
no he isn'tnot in my heart
check my 6
>>
>>1208299
well okay
RIP Black team
continue forward until we hit the River, OP
>>
>>1208299
Use a potion on myself to heal me and my bloody asshole.
>>
>>1208299
I equip the mustache.
>>
>>1208303
>1
Yep he's dead. With a prolasped anus.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1208307
Come oooon man, you can do that at least out of pity already
check my 1maybe all Dicks are clones and original is still alive somewhere
>>
>>
>>1208309
it was by REFLEX, ok
who the fuck knewstill worth it for that photo
>>
AND SO THE PARTY CONTINUES TOWARDS THE RIVER
>>1208305
The Potion won't help to get rid of the debuff. You'll need a proper healer
>>1208306
NOw looking even mroe like a midget lesbian
>>1208308
>original is still alive somewhere
>a 2
DICK IS NOW ALIVE.
In hell.
Where he is used as a rapeslave for demons.
>>
I just realized I should have chose the Purple Guy so I can get to you guys, but I'm already blue so I'm resigned to this fate. Also I need to be more active
>>
>>1208314
Drink more Capn' Happy
>>
>>1208314
>DICK IS NOW ALIVE.
>
>In hell.
eh
could be worse
I mean hell is pretty chill place since you get used to it
>Where he is used as a rapeslave for demons.
nah, only if by Death. But Death has different tastes
>>
>>1208314
Detour towards a healer.
>>
>>1208314
Maybe some sexual healing is required. I do like the ladies you know, I do like em.
Ask the blue female gobbo to give me a handy.
>>
>>1208316
after all I can't play anyone but Dick I think
It isn't the same
gl with rest of RED playthrumanlet
>>
>>1208323
thanks
you dug yourself into a grave though
>>
>>1208324
at least that grave is regular sized one
>>
>>1208326
For an elf, sure.
>>
>>1208326
at least he's not a stinkin' no good elf
>>
>>1208316
Drowning out sorrows.
>>1208318
Oh look a sign
>>
>>1208327
Come on op give us traveling healer
>>
>>1208329
Head towards the healer.
>>
>>1208329
follow the sign
>>
>>1208329
oh shit
follow that sign
drink more cap'n happy
>>
>>1208329
Start crawling towards healer while leaving a trail of blood from anus
>>
>>1208329
throw Capp'n at everybody hoping it does something
>>
>>1208329
cut to us groveling at the healer to heal our anuses.
>>
AND SO THE PARTY REACHES THE HEALING WIZARD. SITTING ON HIS HEALING WAGON.
OH AND GOBBOLINA GAVE EVERYONE RUM TO DROWN OUT THE MEMORIES
>>1208332
Richard was totally hiding elf ears under that hood.
>>
>>1208340
Use rum to get drunk again and get clear from alcohol withdrawal
>>
>>1208340
Hi wizard, we got some ravaged assholes over here, anything to get us fixed up?
>>
>>1208340
heal our butts, wizard
>>
>>1208340
>Richard was totally hiding elf ears under that hood.
it's all a lie
>>
>>1208340
haggle for him to heal us no questions asked, nothing gets out.
>>
>>
>>1208340
fix my arse
>>
>>1208354
drink another swig of Cap'n Happy before explaining
>>
>>1208354
>It ain't one when it comes from OP, baby.FAKE NEWS
>>
Rolled 2 (1d3)
>>1208203
Ok I roll the dice for green
Can't we use our healing to heal our loose ass?
>>
>>1208354
NO QUESTIONS ASKED WIZARD. NOTHING GETS OUT.
>>
>>1208354
You wouldn't believe what happened. We run into not 1, but 2 super assrape machines. And now we need ass healing.
>>
>>1208354
Yeh ofc, sober is only a one use attack
>>
>>1208359
Of course not
>>
>>1208340
please help us out
>>
>>1208360
"Well Oky. Iwon't pry anym- >>1208361...Well alright then. So that's what happened"
>>
>>1208367
WE GOT HUMILIATED I TELL YOU
>>
>>1208367
yes it was tremendous amount of bad luck.
Please heal my comrades
>>
>>1208367
Oh yeah. It was bad enough luck to run into 1 of those guys, but TWO! I believe Gobbolina and Jet Ree got double penetrated, so it was especially horrible for them.
>>
>>1208367
heal our butts
>>
>>1208367
Please heal the orange guy as painfully as you can. Also, can you block out memories?
>>
We must seek out the time wizard and undo this event in our lives
>>
>>
>>1208379
will you help us kind healer?
>>
>>1208375
Wait a minute... we shall do the tricks that we learned from our gobbo healer.
First we make a large blunt and smoke. And then we make another blunt with mix of secret herbs and jam it in patient's ass.
>>1208379
I suspect that Assrape Machine was made for fighting against dragons. Everybody know dragons suffers anal prolapse.
>>
>>1208379
Please be gentle, there's much bruising.
>>
>>1208379
can you block out our and your memories then alongside with the healing?
>>
>>1208383
"Of course I will. And for free even. This is healing wagon is a service to the community. I can erase your traumatic memories of the event too"
>>1208384
"An interesting and plausible suspicion"
>>1208386
"I won't make any promises. But then you wouldn't remember it either way"
>>1208387
"Of course"
>>
>>1208390
>"Of course I will. And for free even. This is healing wagon is a service to the community. I can erase your traumatic memories of the event too"
Can you revive Dick tho
>>
>>1208390
what's the catch?
>>
>>1208390
Tempted to grief
>>
>>1208390
oh thank you kind healer, please start with my firends, I can be last, it was my fault that the assrape machine befell us.
>>
>>1208390
What do we do now? Do we take off our pants and point our assholes towards you?
>>
>>1208390
I don't need my memories erased to be honest
>>
>>1208390
Can you teach us some healing tricks? Exchange for it we can offer you some weeds.
>>
>>1208400
why? We were double raped. Just because it's not gay doesn't mean it's not horrible.
>>
>>
>>1208406
GUYS HES THE LEADER OF THE BUTTRAPE BANDITS THIS IS A TRICK
>>
>>1208406
holy shit that wizard works out
>>
>>1208402
I need this for my hetero cred
>>
>>1208406
Best to write it down on our hand so that we don't forget...
>>
>>
>>
>>1208408
"Don't panic. I won't shove my arm up your ass or anything like that. That'd be unsanitary. I'll just punch the healing energies into your anus from afar....This may burn a little."
Master Berry anus now feels like they're a million exploding suns inside it
This process is repeated with everyone involved.
But it's okay. Nobody remembers anything. Except for mayyybe Gobbolina >>1208410
>>
>>1208414
do i unlock special flame from that ( Heal flame)?
>>
>>1208414
Wow, thanks wizard. My asshole feels like it was never brutally raped in the first place.
>>
>>1208414
MY ASS SUDDENLY FEELS BETTER!
>>
>>1208414
thanks for the heal wizard, but I cant remember what for... or my account pin number.
>>
>>1208414
Ask wizard what to do next time we meet some AssRape Robots.
>>
>>1208420
you need to choose a character by changing name to that team color
>>
>>1208414
what should we do next time we meet some assrape robots, male man I just had a fisting session with?
>>
>>1208415
>>1208416
>>1208417
>>1208418
>>1208420
"What are you talking about? I don't know who you are. You're just a bunch of healthy adventurers who wnadered over here for some reason. now off you. Be on your way." *wink*
>>1208424
It's Blue Bard. He lost his name for some reason. >>1208420 Put your name back on.
>>
>>
>>1208427
wait, who was this guy?
god damn it
let's just continue on our journey across the river
>>
>>1208427
You didn't mind wipe me. So actually no, I know that we aren't.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1208427
I check if we had written down on our hand about asking wizard for learning some healing tricks.
>>
>>1208427
What's the quickest way to the port? We're hunting a pirate.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1208427
do i learn heal flame from the million suns thing?
>>
>>1208434
actually I just tell you. I also grope your ass while winking knowingly.
>>
>>
>>1208414
this
>>
>>1208439
head west waving good by.
>>
>>1208439
>"You be quiet. Midget Lesbian"
Midget HETERO Lesbian please!
>>
>>1208439
Ok who had written down in our hand? That is not funny at all guys!
Anyway we offer the wizard some weed because he look like a cool guy.
>>
>>1208439
Wait, what I'm totally hetero.
>>
>>1208447
Pic related is you that I spent 10 seconds on.
>>
>>
>>1208455
"what a nice wizard, defiantly not an elf, guy kinda reminds me of the King actually...."
"any ways how do we plan to get across the river?"
>>
>>1208455
it's a disguise. Like Hana Kimi and Jean of Arc. That way, I can just casually molest men while pretending it's just a joke.
>>
>>1208457
but the king wears glasses and he doesnt what are you talking about
>>
>>1208459
you sure? I thought the king just wore sunglasses to look cool? But you are right his mustache was too bushy.
>>
>>1208456
alright, I'll embrace it then.
Lesbirate from the Isle of Lesbos
>>
>>1208458
"Yeah sure. Now go back to your friends and your quest. Midget Lesbian"
>>
>>1208464
Midget "Lesbian", don't forget the double quotes.
>>
>>1208464
Hey Fib, isn't it wierd that we are the only two original adventurers now?
>>
ANYWAY. THE PARTY HAS REACHED THE RIVER. AND IT IS NOW NIGHT. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO CONTINUE?
>>
>>1208469
make a torch and have master Betty light it up.
>>
>>1208469
Think about boning male men
>>
>>1208469
start a camp so we can continue at morning
>>
>>1208471
I agree to do this.
>>
>>
>>
>>1208482
I will take first watch
>>
>>1208482
hot
>>
>>1208482
Armok shall pass out
>>
>>1208482
think about sexual intercourse with men.
>>
>>1208484
AND SO THE PARTY SLEPT WITH NOTHING HAPPENING
>>
>>1208497
save game
>>
>>1208497
Oh shit is that a full moon? It just so happens that I'm half werewolf.
>>
>>1208497
Save game
>>
>>1208499
does this work?
>>
>>1208503
sometimes, if we die though our file might get corrupted
>>
WELP, since it's past bumpo limt. This episode will end here. TO BE CONTINUED. IN LIKE 2 DAYS OR SOMETHING.
Updates:https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>1208500
And it jsut so happens that the dragon half of you surpresses the feral wolf part.
>>
>>1208507
ty op
>>
>>1208507
Thank for bread
>>
>>1208507
what does Armok look like with his new sword and extra armor plating, OP?
>>
>>1208517
thanks for the thread, boss
>>
2017. Year of the buttstuff
>>
>seen beautiful Dick's smile for whole 2 posts
kinda thanks for the thread OP
>>
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>tfw i always miss these threads either due to shit getting in the way or me just being a dunce and forgetting
FUCK
>>
>>1212096
Such is life in the zone
Thread posts: 770
Thread images: 113
Thread images: 113