Kobolds Ate My Baby Quest

Better bring along some snacks from this quest. Can't go around snatching babies for King Torg's (ALL HAIL KING TORG!) diner if we get hungry.

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>>1183392
After a brief scrabbling through the "Armory", you find yourself quite the array of equipment. You remember to not* thank Vor for the bounty you have received, and trundle out of the cave ready to take on King Torg's (ALL HAIL KING TORG) challenge. If you succeed, they will yap songs of your bravery and master of Gastronomy!

>You have gained, a Heavy T-Shirt, A Club, and A Random Bottle of Booze


*Vor, the Big Angry Red God of Rage and Kobolds, wishes for nothing more than the furry little blighters to be wiped off the face of the cosmos. With this in mind, Kobolds try not to gain his attention too often, knowing that they don't need anymore on their plate when it comes to the Mortality department.

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>>1183422
And here is Gripes Stats!

>>1183415
Along with the Booze, you mange to find a bag of "Spicy Herring Doos, Limited Red Edition!"

These little beauties pack quite the kick in their fried and charred little bodies; dusted in a spice mixture of 36 different peppers and one jar of Tabasco, these afternoon snacks with jolt even the hardiest and discerning kobold.

>>1183425
>wonder for a little while if frying a baby kobold is possible if all else goes wrong. Would king Torg (AHKT) notice?

>>1183392
Try to find the makings of some stealthy spy gear or a disguise kit in the rummage pile. And a ranged weapon and rope too.

Those'll do nicely. Now let's get out there and find a delicious baby!

Ummm, where do we start looking?

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Emerging from the Den, you take a great DEEP breath of the fresh outside air. You immediately regret as your sensitive nose gets a great big whiff of sweat, cheap booze and vomit. You are in the Northwest sector of North Bumblefucktown, aka, the Barracks! All around the exit hole are various wooden dummies, peppered with arrow holes, dents and slashes. There doesn't seem to be anyone around, except for a solider that is face down in the well tread turf, gurgling to himself.

>>1183438
Unfortunately, Kobold has a very distinct taste... Maybe if you drowned it in tomato sauce and mustard... then again that's amateur hour!

>>1183444
As said you are behind the training dummies at the northwest barracks. The Main Armory, Office and Mess Hall combo lies in front of you. The Housing lays to the east of it.

>>1183441
You are not Koboldy enough to get an Outfit just yet!

Ooooo, let's go to the wizard Maybe he has a baby finding spell!

>>1183458
*face down in the turf

No idea where the rest of that sentence came from.

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>>1183477
Glancing over your crudely drawn map, you decide that a trip to the wizard is the most cunning and thought out plan! Why, with a Wizards arcane power at your disposal, you could simply conjure babies out of thin air; King Torg (ALL HAIL KING TORG) would never go hungry again...maybe.

You hop over the burbling guard and mosey your way over to the Tower. However, as you pass between the seemingly vacant area of the Barrack and Housing itself, you her violent retching coming from behind the doorway.

With your supreme knowledge of Human speech* you manage to get a clue as to what could be agitating them so.

"Argoo Loopa, seesa uula DUMP."

Dump? As in like garbage? What do they... Your ears flatten in embarrassment, you were never one to for hygiene and it seems that it has come to bite you in the furry rear end.

You can hear them coming outside, what are you going to do?

>Foul Smelling has triggered, and boy howdy is it bad

*(Read: Eight Words)

>>1183575
Get next to the left wall and curl up to act like a rock.

>>1183575

>Take a bath. Can't steal a baby if they smell you coming...

>...unless... maybe if you can get the baby to smell the same as you, they'll just throw it out! Voila! Free baby!

>>1185087
You prepare to do a deed that you have hoped to avoid all your life... your tongue begins to tremble as it emerges from your gaping maw, tentatively hovering over your disgusting fur. And then, with a heavy heart, you begin to lick frantically.

>You have reduced the roll by 1 dice!

>>1184948
You've never learned to hide before! But that certainly won't stop you from trying!

Roll a 4d6 (trying to score under 8)

Rolled 1, 2, 2, 1 = 6 (4d6)

>>1185963
surely dogbolds know how to cower and try to avoid work?
its the same thing really.

>>1186005
That's the thing, Kobolds are far too stupid to know how avoid and hide unless specifically taught. That's why they march merrily into the maw of death so often, they don't know any other way. Not to mention, Vor hates cowards, and a cowardly kobold is definitely on his To Smite List.


Also, brb, gotta restart the ol' comp.

>>1186178
Come back!