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Anonymous
/qst/ Adventure Thing, part 4 2017-02-16 05:34:54 Post No. 1166062
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/qst/ Adventure Thing, part 4 2017-02-16 05:34:54 Post No. 1166062
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Oh shit nigger it's a /qst/ adventure thing. That I'm pretty sure I saw someone did before and I'm ripping them off but I can't remember the name so I can't credit them. Yea.
4 persons form an adventuring party in a nondescript generic fantasy land.
Each chacacter needs at least 1 player to be the voices in their head to tell them what to do n shit.
Just give yourself a name with the character's team color to identify which person you belong to. Ex: "Red Faggot"
The party's current mission is to raid an ancient tomb that has been taken over by bandits, but after being beaten in the last episode, they managed to escape to town to heal themselves. NOw the party must decide on what to do: Prepare for another trip into the bandit den, or mess around town and wasting time so nothing gets done.
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
>>1166062
Start messing around
What's our options in town again, OP?
>>
>>1166069
These are the places you can visit in town
>>
>>1166081
how much junk do we have in our inventory?
>>
>>1166089
Alright, Richard drags along all the other party members to the weapons and armor shop to see what we can buy/sell
>>
YOu're now at the shop
>>
>>1166102
show us your wares, shopkeep
>>
Reporting in
What's the status
>>
>>
>>1166119
Whoops, forgot pic
>>
>>
>>1166124
Try not to let him catch on I know he's a jew while I ask for some reasonably priced gauntlets
>>
Biy a blue scarf. We need an identifier.
>>1166124
>>
>>1166126
"Ah yes of course, here be our selection of ranged weaponry:
- Longbow
- Crossbow
- Sling
- Throwing knives
- A rock
- Hand cannon
- Cannon hand"
>>1166129
"Since you're a golem, they're gonna be custom made, my friend"
>>
>>1166147
the cannon hand is tempting
but we have to know what its effects are
does it give a bonus to any of our stats?
>>
>>1166147
Hmm Custom made sounds expensive
>>
>>1166147
how bout some monk armor as well?
>>
>>1166147
Look at apparel section. Custom shit is too expensive
>>
CANNON HAND:
- Gives a bonus of +3 to attacking
- Will need to chop off a hand to attach, costing 1 DEX
>>1166162
>>1166166
"Yes it is my friend, but it's agood investment, yes. Also the clothing store is in the opposite direction"
>>1166163
"Yes we have that as well, gimme a bit"
>>
>>1166170
Can we attach the cannon hand to our Golem?
Ask how much the cannon hand is, pricewise along with the LONGBOW
>>
>>1166170
Don't get anything. Spend the money later after a few more levels. I see no reason we'll regret this.
>>
>>1166177
"Yes, but it'll cost more to make a custome golem arm. The normal price is 5 gold. Longbow is 3"
>>1166163
"Here you go, monk armors that we have"
>>1166184
"Oy vey"
>>
>>1166204
the one with the multiple balls, how much?
>>
>>1166204
hey Blue, you won't suffer a dex loss if you get the cannon arm
however, it's an investment of 5 gold but will give you a good ranged option like us
What do you say?
>>
>>1166204
Bing leaves and goes to a clothes store.
>>
>>1166211
"The one with the prayer beads? 3 Gold"
>>1166218
Bing seperates from the party and go to the clothing store, ignoring Richards question
>>
>>
>>1166231
"4 gold for the hand cannon"
>>1166237
"Sure, friend. Just give me the gold"
Meanwhile Bing Bingie arrives at the clothing shop
>>
>>1166238
We spend 3+4 = 7 on the hand cannon and the armor then.
>>
>>1166242
>>1166248
And so the weapon and armor are bought.
HAND CANNON:
+ 2 to attack rolls
- Must spend 1 turn to reload
ORC MONK ARMOR tier 1:
+ 2 END
That leaves Bing only 3 Gold to do his shopping
The goblin is still in a coma
>>
>>1166266
How much for the Canon, Dick?
>>
>>1166285
Keep smiling smugly if Blue doesn't respond
>>
>>1166285
Alright. Clothes store it is
>>
>>1166295
The clothing merchant greets you
>>
>>1166299
Got any scarves of the blue hue? Or blue... anything? Our programing refuses hats
>>
>>1166299
Richard visits the town hall so we can meet the mayor and possibly get a quest.
>>
Guess I'll hop on the green team since no others
>>
>>
>>1166323
Smoke some bud to pass the time
>>
And hopefully I can stop pressing the enter button in reflex
>>
>>1166323
Scarf and cape sound compatible. How much?
>>
>>1166328
"3 Gold each"
>>1166330
"Greetings adventurers! How can I help you today?"
>>
>>1166336
Just the scarf. Beep boop. Considering situational hijinks, i assume there is no abilities with said scarf?
>>
>>1166336
Ask for any interesting tidbits or lore
If our enemies have any weaknesses, you know the stuff a barkeeper would know
>>
>>1166336
Offer Clackie a blunt
>>
>>1166343
take blunt
>>
>>1166340
"Of course not! We're a clothing store, not an equipment store!...BUt I heard a store in the Big City do sell clothing that gives sta boosts. Anyway, try it on before you decide"
>>1166341
"Well ya see, rumors has it that the bandits have refurbished an ancient tomb into their hideout. Which may have disturbed the spirits inside"
>>
>>1166357
There were SPIRITS inside?
>>
>>1166357
sorry it took me so long to post had to drive to work.
>>
>>1166358
"Yes, but perhaps the bandits have done something to suppress them. Some sort of spell or talisman probably"
>>1166360
Orcs drive?
>>
>>1166357
Wrap around face like a muffler and pay
>>
>>1166366
badly
>>
>>1166366
Pray to the forest god and request intellect upgrade
>>
>>1166368
The party now has 0 gold
>>1166373
"Nigga just level up, you only got 1 battle left"
>>
>>1166383
Alright, let's return back to the ancient tomb.
>>
>>1166383
Hol' up. Dat nigga's ded
>>
>>1166384
maybe we should have gotten some health packs.
>>
>>1166383
Fine, fine. Could you atleast teach us a nature spell so we could be a little bit less useless?
>>
>>1166388
We might kill lesser foes and gain some like last time. They'll be suppositories anyway
>>
>>1166392
then let us kill the lesser foes
>>
>>1166385
Which nigga
>>1166389
"very well my child"
Fib Smogee has learned "Vine snare" - summon vines to hold opponents, making them lose a turn
>>
>>1166397
Elf/forest fod nigga is dead, nigga
>>
>>1166397
Thank you based forest god who's totally not just God cosplaying as the now-dead forest god.
>>
>>1166398
What? No. Nobody's dead. At most Richard got knocked out in the last episode but a hippy healed him
>>1166399
"Yes indeed. I am totally not the One True God pretending to be all other gods of all religions so I can get MAXIMUM prayers...But I heard he's pretty handsome"
>>
>>1166403
at least that what the orc god told me as well
>>
oh shit niggas I overslept
>>
>>1166403
So we going to the tomb again now?
>>
Now the party comes to a decision
>>
>>1166414
Yes
>>
>>
>>1166414
eeehhhhhh y?
>>
>>1166414
Y
it's not like they wait us there anyway, I mean who would think that we'll try second time
>>
MEANWHILE, BING BINGIE BE LIKE
>>
>>1166428
just like op's computer
>>
>>1166430
too soon
>>
>>1166428
Delete system32
>>
>>1166428
Push his restard button.
>>
>>1166430
Nah mine didn'y go out like that. It went more like a stutter and then freeze without a bluescreen.
>>
>>1166434
>>1166436
Ya sure?
>>1166430
But for that crack you're gonna get assrape soon.
>>
Yea with extreme prejudice
>>
>>1166441
aw common!
>>
>>1166441
Yes, he needs a system update.
>>
Clonk.
Bing Bingie basically commited suicide. Or gave himself brain damage. Either way Blue team is no more.
>>
>>1166449
rip in piece
can we sold him as scrap?
>>
>>1166449
Chances of finding an outed OS later on?
>>
>>1166449
oh shit really? who will take his place?
>>
>>1166449
Good thing we had a spare Wandows XD installer CD in our backpocket. Put that thing in and reinstall OS
>>
>>1166451
go for os/2
>>
>>1166458
Can he be carried around and they pretend he's alive for shits and giggles like weekend at bernies.
>>
>>1166460
Depends, do the others want to carry Bing Bingie's useless corpse around?
>>
>>1166458
we can't do this with out our blue guy! what will happen to our barbershop quartet!
>>
>>1166462
No
he's too fucking heavy
>>
>>1166464
You and OP are bullies. I'm going home.
>>
>>1166462
How about carve him hollow and make him into a battle suit
>>
>>1166468
>>1166470
"I can. I can rebuild him, make him better. Or even convert him into a battlesuit.....BUT I AINT GONNA DO IT FOR FREE" said the Happy Engineer
>>1166467
What did youe xpect when you delete system32
>>
>>1166474
are there budget options?
All I have is this chicken
>>
>>1166474
Magic
>>
>>1166474
can you just program him to take commands from us 3 and he will build his personality by what commands we give him, in the end op takes over for his personality?
>>
>>1166474
We can offer you a night with Richard's asshole. Best we can do, sorry.
>>
>>1166478
"What chicken"
>>1166480
"Of course. BUt it will also cost money"
>>1166481
"I have no use for his anus"
>>
>>1166483
well gang I suggest we find some wood bandits to get e quick cash. That way we at least lvl up and gain some money.
>>
>>1166483
How about this blunt? It can cure blindness, ass-pain and a cracked back.
>>
>>1166485
Clackie-chan suggests grinding for loot
>>1166486
"I already have those"
>>
>>1166483
>"What chicken"
with a pulley in the middle
>>
>>1166488
common guys let's grind
I need to train my orc muscles
>>
>>1166488
How much gold do you need to repair him then?
>>
>>1166492
maybe he'll fix blue in credit, grinding with 4 is more fun than with 3
>>
>>1166499
yeah but chances are he won't. The more time we haggle the more time we waste not punching things.
>>
>>1166496
"5"
Meanwhile Red and Yellow argues on grinding
>>
>>1166504
Let's start grinding then
>>
>>1166504
offer him 2 sandwhiches and 3 gold
>>
>>1166504
How about 3 and a shiny rock?
>>
>>1166511
>>1166513
You don't ahve any gold left.
>>
>>1166517
practice kung fu while the two waste time
>>
>>1166517
K we can go grind bandits
>>
>>1166517
wait, didn't we had 3 left
ah, muffler
oh well, let him be for now then
but eat one sandwich while being way too uncomfortable close to happy mechanic
>>
>>1166518
>>1166519
Hey, Fib agrees with Clackie to go grind
>>
>>1166526
Or we could just have Dick work in the local whorehouse and earn us gold. Whichever you prefer
>>
>>1166526
grab Richard and go grind.
>>
>>1166527
orc is more suited for that
but yeah go grind
>>
And so they head off to find some easy mooks to grind.
While Fib thinks about Richard's butt
>>
>>1166534
Begin the grind
>>
>>1166534
He had a nice butt before that one assbandit ruined it.
>>
>>1166534
would it be ok if the armor was painted a bit red? I like the color red.
>>
>>1166538
elves always elves
https://youtu.be/KjHclWPVij0
>>
>>1166535
Right, now who amongst you want to step up and be the enemy finder?
>>1166539
Too bad, you're on the yellow team, everything ou ahve is automatically colored yellow whether you like it or not.
>>
>>1166547
i wanna roll dices
>>
>>1166547
me, Red Knight, OP
>>
>>1166547
Is the animal transformation off cooldown yet?
>>
>>1166547
I wanna roll it dis time
>>
>>1166548
>>1166549
>>1166555
Roll 1d6 against eachother. Who gets the highest will be the "scout"
>>1166553
Yes.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1166556
live by the dick niggaaaaaaaa
>>
>>1166556
oh wait that a ranger job
nvm
you do it red knight
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1166556
eat this
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1166556
>>
>>1166562
It was the Goblin, who knew.
Fib, roll 1d6 to see if the forest near the town has anything for the party to fight
6: Find 1 shitty bandit
5: Find 2 Shitty bandits
4: Find 3 Shitty bandits
3: Find 1 Elite Bandit
2: Find 2 Elite bandit
1: Find the Assraping Hellbeast
>>
>>1166562
if you roll 1 you'll be sacrifice to hellbeast
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1166566
Also transform into a hummingbird
>>
>>1166568
But Dick is the only one with a stretched out anus, so he'd naturally fit the job.
>>
>>1166570
okay, we ambush bandits with our new HUMMINGBIRD bullet from hand cannon
>>
>>1166572
2fast4u Dick!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1166574
we'll see about that
>>
>>1166573
Allright now fly back to the party and inform them of the bandits position. Also keep a safe distance away from Dick.
>>
>>1166573
AMBUSH THOSE NIGGAS
>>
>>1166573
we ambushing or what
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1166576
>>1166575
Too slow.
Now Reds roll 1d6 to attempt ambush
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1166580
HAND JUSTICE CANNON FIREEEE
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1166580
2ez
>>
i guess it's a good thing that I didn't win scouting roll
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1166583
Roll 1d6
You get a +7 bonus
On of the bandits gets a +2
>>
>>1166589
rip in piece bandit
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1166589
we kill the nigga with the +2 bonus first
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1166591
1 HP left.
Battle officially starts. It's Richard's turn. But he has to reload to attack again. So his options are:
- Reload (end turn)
- Switch weapons (end turn)
- Put on dick mask (end turn)
- Jerk off to memories of squirrels (end turn)
-
>>
>>1166596
did we blast his arm off, OP?
if not then we choose to reload
>>
>>1166596
reload
>>
>>1166597
>>1166598
Right, it's Clackie's turn
>>
>>1166600
hey Clackie, attack the one with 1 HP
>>
>>1166600
Kick
>>
Rolled 1, 1 = 2 (2d6)
Roll 1d6
+2 for both sides
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1166606
>>
>>1166607
heeeeyyy I killed one with a kick, how's that guys?!
>>
>>1166607
One banidt down. 2 left.
It's now Fib's turn
>>
>>1166609
5/10 needs more overkilling
>>
>>1166613
Entangle the one mofo on the backline
>>
>>1166615
if over killing was a thing in this game
>>
You can't use Nature Magic while in Full Animal form.
Ya can in partial. But currently, no.
Try these:
- Peck
- Fly to distract
- Poop
>>
>>1166617
there must be a way
>>
>>1166620
what is this nigga doing
being a useless fucking bird is what
>>
>>1166621
If there was a way then I would have overkilled your anus back in ep 2
>>
>>1166620
Turn back to manlet
>>
>>1166622
We may be a useless manlet, but atleast we still have an untouched asshole.
>>
>>1166623
gaaaaay
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)
>>1166624
And so Fib turned back into his manlet true form. Wasting his daily transform to accomplish...pretty much nothing except for preventing Richard from firing him out of the cannon. NOw it's the bandits turn, and he targets
1- Loose anus
2- Unmolested anus
>>1166627
Careful, your anus will get filled again
>>
>>1166628
Scouted out the bandits and not getting killed by them counts as something
>>
>>1166629
you haven't even used the bear form
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1166628
Bandit is attempting tos tab Richard. Reds rolll 1d6
+2 him
+3 you
>>1166629
Yes but that could have been accomplished without bird form
>>
>>1166631
Oh I'm sure Dick would like a "bear" wouldn't he?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1166632
JUSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE ROLL
>>
>>1166634
With these rolls the only thing your scouting would've done is get yourself assraped again
>>
Rolled 2 (1d3)
>>1166635
Dodged. Now the other bandit attacks...
1- Manlet
2- Dick
3- Weeaboo
>>
>>1166644
dick roll yo dodge to make this go faster
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
OH SHIT A ROCK
Reds roll 1d6
+2 him
+3 you
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1166648
2ez
dying by the dick
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1166648
THAT'S QUITE MEDIOCRE ROCK
BACK IN MY DAYS, ROCKS WERE QUITE DAMN BETTER
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1166649
>>1166650
Dodged. Cannon ready. Choose a target and roll 1d6
+5 for you
+2 for whatever you're aiming at
Unless you want to do something else
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1166652
Shoot the nigga with the least health first so we kill him
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1166652
can we do pierce shot? and hit both?
>>
>>1166652
shoot her! shoot her!
>>
>>1166655
No, because life sucks.
Clackie, do something
>>
>>1166659
this game surely lacks in options
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1166659
punch
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1166660
Oh but the options are all in here.
Plus you're only level 1
>>1166661
+3 for you
+1 for him, lessee
>>
>>1166662
I did my roll already is that ok?
>>
>>1166662
leveling system is too slow
>>
>>1166663
Yes, he has 1 HP left. So weak even Fib could kill him now.
>>
>>1166667
throw fib at enemy
>>
>>1166667
What spells and attacks are available?
>>
>>1166670
Yes, I don't know if Fib is holding it though, and equipping it would take a turn.
>>
>>1166669
>>1166672
You're holding it
>>
>>1166675
Stab that fag then
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1166676
Roll 1d6
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1166677
RIP
Dick u gotta finish him off, manlet arms too weak
>>
>>1166678
nigga, we gotta reload or masturbate to squirrel girls or switch weapons
>>
>>1166681
Thrust him down with your DICK POWER!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1166678
NOw it's the bandit's turn. He seems to be thinking about something
4-6: Prolly nothing
3-1: A revelation
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1166686
punch since dick is stuck reloading
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1166686
But then he lost his train of thought and opts to attack instead. Which is good. He almost figured out that if he runs away, this battle won't count and you don't get any EXP to level up.
He opts to stab:
1-2=Manlet
3-4=Dick
5-6= Weeaboo
Will be using this roll as his attack too
>>
>>1166688
But how can he stab Fib? We're in the backline
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1166690
>>
>>1166691
Replace "stab" with throw rock at
>>1166692
And so with the missed throw the bandit ate a punch to the face. And died.
>>
>>1166695
give us the loot, OP
>>
>>1166695
Time for a celebratory blunt
>>
>>1166696
YOU GOT 1 gold and 3 shitty bandit knives. Cough,alongsideanewlevel, cough. So let's move on, yes.
>>
>>1166695
victory fan far...o wait....
>>
>>1166698
Let's level up then
>>
>>1166698
yay Level Up! what do we get!
>>
>>1166698
Finally time to get great new skills and perks in the name of JUSTICE
>>
What? Level up? What's this talk abouit leveling up? You must have misheard me, yes.
>>
>>1166704
Level UP
this was the battle we needed to level up
we gained enough experience
>>
>>1166704
yeah we heard you, you can't run from it this time!
>>
>>1166704
stop being a fag, OP
it's 4th part already and there were no level ups
>>
>>1166704
Forest god said we had level up after one fight though, don't you try to cheat us fairy
>>
>>1166705
n-nuh uh
>>1166706
No you didn't
>>1166707
Nuuuoh, that last one got interruped so this is technically Part3.5
>>1166708
The forest god is clearly high
>>
>>1166704
it wierd we finally level and we had to get rid of one member of our party to do it.
>>
>>1166709
blast OP fairy with our cannon
nigga, we don't need a tutorial anymore
just give us the level up
>>
>>1166709
Complain to forest god about fairy
>>
>>1166709
I heard you with my orc ears Op, they are better at hearing cough speak than any race. We are used to being shilly-shallied.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1166709
arm fairy into the hand cannon
>>
Clam down, there is nothing suspicious going on here
>>
>>1166716
where is our level up, OP
stop delaying
>>
>>1166716
maybe if we eat the fairy we will gain it's leveling controlING skillz.
>>
>>1166716
Come on, we need those sweet, succulent, sorcerous, spells.
>>
>>1166716
that lie meter is really red there op fairy
>>
>>1166719
Shirley you can't be suggesting I'm stalling for time so I can secretly think up skills to give you on your level up
>>1166720
NO you won't
>>
>>1166727
why didn't you prepare beforehand
>>
>>1166728
Maybe because my hard drive was broken
>>
>>1166727
arm fairy into our cannon
as a bullet
>>
>>1166729
okay, OP
give OP some time to think of our skills
>>
>>1166731
Try that and you get no level up.
This time it's not a lie.
DON'T try that and you may use 1 point to increase one of your stats.
>>
>>1166727
I'm not suggesting anything, and don't call me surely.
>>
>>1166734
depends if I'll get special skill alongside the stat point
>>
>>1166740
Everybody does, but get uppity with me and you become an elf
>>
>>1166743
oh no
>>
Oh hey this thing.
>>
>>1166734
1 into END, OP
>>
>>1166734
Hypothetically, which Stat would be used with a song canon?
>>
>>1166743
fine
I'll back offfor now
>>
>>1166747
Confirm Y/N
>>1166749
Charisma.
If the others bother to revive you.
>>1166752
>>
>>1166749
Bingie doesn't level up. He's broken and not even with us right now.
>>
goddamnit my team is stupid.
>>
>>1166756
yeah, your team needs constant supervision
>>
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1166754
nah, one into CHA to get back our glorious smile
>>
>>1166759
>>1166760
We are at an impasse. Red Knight roll 1d6
Note that CHA is completely useless to you as is
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1166764
remove elf ears too
RED RANGER is secretly an elf fuccboi trying to sabotage us
>>
File: violate.png (176KB, 500x281px) Image search:
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176KB, 500x281px
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1166765
>RED RANGER is secretly an elf fuccboi trying to sabotage us
you take that back
>>
File: 1469604382871.jpg (11KB, 270x285px) Image search:
[Google]
11KB, 270x285px
>>1166766
never
until you roll better than me
>>
>>1166765
Confirmed, RED RANGER is secretly an elf fuccboi trying to sabotage reds. The Dice don't lie
Anyway, you get 1 skill from this list.
- Double shot: Shoot 2 different targets with 1 attack (bows and crossbows only)
- Acrobatics: use your sick DEX skills to jump around like a flea on crack (gives 1 free evasion)
- Butt Wave (SECRET UNLOCK): Wave your succulent butt at enemies to attract them
>>
>>1166764
can we move on to the next since it won't take long for me?
>>
>>1166777
nvm
>>
>>1166775
Double shot nigga
>>
>>1166775
double shot, you faggots
>>
>>1166780
Are you suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure?
>>1166779
We'll get to your skills soon enough. They're there, don't worry.
>>
>>1166784
forgive me orc jesus
>>
>>1166785
Very well
>>1166787
Now it's your turn, use one point to increase on stat and we move to skillz
>>
>>1166789
gonna go on str. Dex can be the next one since I have armor now.
>>
>>1166791
Gettin swole.
Choose 1 skill
- Palm strike: Like the punch, but can stun (roll another dice for this)
- Chi Blast: Punching, but with range
- Harsh Training: your harsh monk training has hardened your body. You can use it to tank 1 hit and take no damage during battle, once.
>>
>>1166794
go with Palm Strike
>>
>>1166796
Aight, it's Fib's turn. Choose one stat to increase.
Except END.
>>
>>1166801
Int boi
>>
>>
>>1166802
Very well, choose a skill
>>
>>1166804
But for some one to do that, they'd have to be some sort of robophilliac golem molester
>>
>>1166805
Better heal
>>
>>1166807
It was either the inner thigh or the arm pit, can't have something like that out in the open.
>>
>>1166808
Very well, it allows you to heal 2 points of health instead of one. But has a higher cooldown.
ANd now Bing....oh wait he's broken. Forget him.
Alternatively forget him so hard that Blue team rolls a new character. But I'm sure your comrades wouldn't want that.
>>
>>1166812
If blue rolled a new character, would they be level 2 the same as us?
>>
>>1166816
Yeah, level scaling. Just as if Bing gets revived, he'll be brought to level 2 too
>>
>>1166812
How did Bing die?
>>
>>1166818
So we got a punchy guy, a healy guy, an elf, we need a tank. Right?
>>
>>1166821
Goddamn it Canon
>>
>>1166820
No stupid, look at the stats, we need a face, like bing was before he blue screened.
>>
>>1166826
A bugman paladin would be cool though
>>
>>1166826
Why are you talking to yourself,asshole? Trying to play 2 people?
>>
So, let us continue and leave Bing there for a while
>>
>>1166829
No, I really only just then looked at the stats.
>>
>>1166830
we'll continue then
next grindy battle for gold
also remove those fuckhuge ears, OP
>>
>>1166836
god damn it
>>
>>1166836
urg to murder elf increasing
>>
>>1166836
Bing Bingie reloads at last save
>>
>>1166840
Hey, I did remove the fuckhuge ears.
And replaced them with even bigger ones.
>>
>>1166844
fuckhuge is still fuckhuge
>>
>>1166841
Clackie how about you use your orc-fu and chop those ears down to size
>>
>>1166842
Well, would the otheres concede to Bing Bingie cheating death this way?
>>1166845
Ah ah, these are Fuckhuger. There's a difference
>>
>>1166848
if we reload, then do we lose the skills/stats?
>>
>>1166848
eeehhhhhh I dunno, Bing is a lot of work
>>
>>1166848
Bing never leveled up, so we can maybe spawn alone in the dungeon and try to survive until they arrive?
>>
>>1166828
>paladin
I come up to the hills, and what do I see?
All the local heathens are staring at me.
I've got passion for my god and I'm not afraid to show it,
Show it, show it. I'm holy and I know it.
>>
>>1166849
Yes, since the last save is this threads OP
>>
>>1166856
it's up to Blue then
getting another skill is ez
>>
>>
>>1166856
Let's not reload save, blues can make a new hero
>>
>>1166858
Up to you guys. I just like Bing. Dont wanna replace him.
>>
>>1166856
then no
>>
>>1166859
We'll see how you like it the next time you get KOd twice in a dungeon
>>
>>1166860
Good let not the temptation of exclusive classes only accessible by dying and rerolling sway you.
>>
>>1166860
I just got here and I'm excited for our mechanical minstrel. I vote we hold off and see if they can save it.
>>
>>1166866
nigga what the fuck
those were all the mystery box classes?
why didn't you show them at the start
>>
>>1166866
Pirate seems fun, but I like beeping AND booping as the golem
>>
But hey, here's a hint. The party needs 5 Gold to fix Bing Bingie. They currently have 1 Gold and 3 shitty knives, each worth 1 gold each. How about selling another piece of equipment to gain that one last gold.
>>1166869
Because exclusive "die to unlock" classes
>>
>>1166866
>duelist has 2 rapiers
Rly nigga?
>>
>>1166873
if we sell the hand cannon, how much will we get
>>
>>1166876
we could sell the spear
>>
>>1166873
The golem doesn't need undies.
>>
>>1166873
go back, sell dick mask cause it makes our ears grow and fix Bing, and install gentoo on him
>>
>>
>>1166878
oh, sell the spear then
we'll give fib the bow
>>
>>
>>1166882
Shouldn't Dick use a bow now that he has double shot? That cannon is so fuckin slow its better for Fib anyway
>>
>>1166884
But it does have the effect of making you grow knife ears though if you use it too much
>>
>>1166886
can Fib handle the recoil??
I doubt it
>>
>>1166884
dick mask was a mistake
it's cursed I tell ya
let's sell Orc'svirginity
>>
>>1166889
We can plant it on the ground and use it as a normal cannon for our size, not as an arm cannon
>>
>>
>>1166891
shut it elf vagina
>>
>>1166895
And so The party sold their shit and got the 5 gold needed. As they headed for Shlomoberg the Happy Engineer, a SHADY CHARACTER whispers:
"pssst, hey buddy. I heard ya need some cash"
>>
>>1166902
Look at the shady guy's face so we can judge his character
>>
>>1166902
Careful Dick, don't fall for its ruses
>>
>>1166902
ignore shady character
>>
>>1166902
diiiick dont
>>
>>1166903
>>1166904
>>1166905
How can you not trust a face like this
>>
>>1166908
We ignore him then
this sounds like a scam
>>
>>1166908
oh sweet jumping jesus. Duck give mect he money!
>>
>>1166910
my speech is lost to this cameo
>>
>>1166908
ignore him until we fix blue
after than not ignore him
>>
>>1166908
Isn't this guy the toothpaste salesman?
>>
>>1166909
>>1166910
"What? None of you wusses want this [GOLDEN ROCK] that I have?"
>>
>>1166915
you can't polish a turd, barbarian
keep going to engineer
>>
>>1166915
he painted it gold don't trust him dick!
>>
>>1166915
mmm
rocks
>>
>>1166916
>>1166917
>>1166918
"C'mon. I'll even throw in some toothpaste. All I ask is to violate this knife ear's asshole. I can smell the elf on 'em. And Barbarian law dictates I must perforate his anus"
>>
>>1166920
Well... Since you asked so nicely, go ahead.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1166920
ignore
preemptively rolling dice if RED RANGER doesn't agree
>>
>>1166920
fuck you,dad
you never loved me anyway
just cause I choosed bow and arrows instead of rocks doesn't mean I'm elf
>>
>>1166923
We can buy Dick a chastity belt after we get the barb's shiny rock. Cmon guys, take one for the team!
>>
>>1166920
hmm tempting, we get a painted rock too....
>>
>>1166922
>>1166927
"MAJORITY RULES, Imma violate me an elf"
How will the party respond?
>>
>>1166930
Have fun?
>>
>>1166930
no you can't take him, it's has to be by his choice!
>>
>>1166930
fuck you, guys
>>
>>1166930
Bing would protest if he could
>>
>>1166930
nigga what the fuck
we say no
yellow says no too
green is just a manlet trying to sabotage the party yet again
>>
>>1166936
Sabotaging your anus and getting us more money isn't sabotaging the party
>>
>>1166932
go get our blue guy fixed while help Richard.
>>
>>1166933
"It's okay. It's always consensual if it's an elf"
Oh noes.
Party options rite now:
- Let Richard be violated and watch
- Richard resists while the others watch
- Richard resists while the others help
- Take the money and run off to heal Bingie and Let Richard be violated
>>
>>1166940
I say help richard
>>
>>1166939
Kay, take the gold and go meet the happy engineer.
>>
>>1166941
Even if it's a scam it wouldn't cost us anything. Your butthole can't be more loose than that.
>>
>>1166940
Dad, does mom knows about your new hobbies?
>>
And so Richard resists while Clackie stayed to help. Fib went to the engineer.
Also A part of Richard keep calling the homo barbarian dad, which most townspeople agree is gay as fuark
>>
>>1166947
reminder
manlets will always betray you
get the battle going, OP
let's ROLL
>>
>>1166950
Give the engineer 5 gold and ask him to repair Bingie
>>
>>1166951
U niggers tried to shoot fib when he was a bird
>>
>>1166950
Listen well and listen good barbarian,
Wise orc once said, "go for the eyes"
<then kick him in the nuts>
>>
>>
>>1166957
Get your panties outta your loose ass Dick
>>
Clackie kicks the barbarian in the nuts while Richard pulls on his beard for...some reason.
MEANWHILE
"Ah very good, I shall begin fixing the golem now"
>>
>>1166963
Pull out our non shitty bandit knife and shortsword
Melee this nigga or prepare to defend from his counter attack.
>>
>>1166963
grab his rock and grab Richard and run to the engineer.
>>
>>1166963
Leave the engineer to his business and go check up on the others, since that one voice inside Dick's head won't stop bitchin
>>
>>1166963
was that beard fake?
>>
>>1166964
>>1166965
>>1166968
"YOU WON'T ESCAPE. YOUR ELF ASS WILL SOON BE VIOLATED, LIKE ALL ELF ASSES SHOULD BE" the barbarian yelled
>>
>>1166973
okay, we escaped
get clackie up and running so we have the four man party again
>>
>>1166973
Entangle that scrub so we can escape
>>
>>1166974
you mean Bing
>>
>>1166975
The barbarian didn't pursue. Perhaps he only said it as a bluff. OR PERHAPS HE'S WAITING FOR THE PERFECT CHANCE TO POUNCE. ON RICHARD'S ANUS.
Anyway. Any BLUEs present?
>>
>>1166973
where is the gold rock?
>>
>>1166981
It's the round thing behind Dick's sword next to your face. I forgot to color it.
>>
>>1166982
my bad
>>
>>1166980
grow a beard
>>
>>1166986
Elves can't grow beards
>>
>>1166987
we are human race
>>
>>1166987
Ask nature god to un-elfify Dick
>>
>>1166987
buuuurrrn
>>
>>1166987
sorry forgot name
>>
No blues? Who will pick Bing's stat inceases now?
>>1166988
That's not what the dice said, elf fuccboi
>>
>>1166993
we can program him ourselves
Put 1 into Cha
>>
>>1166993
jesus after we go through the trouble.
>>
>>1166993
>That's not what the dice said, elf fuccboi
can we sacrifice Fib to change our race on human again then?
>>
>>1166993
Cha
>>
>>1166995
>>1166996
Happy Engineer can install Auto-Pilot mode
Confirm Y/N
>>1166998
No. Your dick mask and the dice is your elven downfall.
>>
>>1167000
>No. Your dick mask and the dice is your elven downfall.
burn the mask
>>
>>1167000
y just incase blue doesn't show up
>>
Well since there's one Blue that said Cha, we'll go with that. And now. Skills.
- Sonic Blast: Finally an option for Bing to attack, strums his lute so hard that the sound waves can hurt enemies (uses CHA)
- Rocket Feet: Activate to hover ,negating and attacks that utilize the ground or fly into the air, giving 1 free dodge
- Armored Lv1: Add 1 free END point
>>1167001
You can't, the elf magic has penetrated (heh) you so long that your body refuse to harm it
>>
>>1167005
go sonic blast since no blues are answering again.
>>
>>1167005
see OP
RED RANGER is clearly a traitor to his own race
why believe him
I vote to kick him out of Dick's mind
>>
>>1167005
>You can't, the elf magic has penetrated (heh) you so long that your body refuse to harm it
sell it then burn the store you sell it to
>>
>>1167007
fuck you, I hate elves.
>>
>>1167009
Well it is the Blue's decision. Ya sure?
>>
>>1167012
Yes.
>>
>>1167013
And so it is done. Now everyobdy's ready.
Cept for Dick, who's suffering mental problems.
>>
>>1167014
Should I check your butthole again, Dick?
(At work so replies are gonna be late and shakey. Dont fuck me up too badly)
>>
>>1167014
good to go if RANGER doesn't mess things up
>>
>>1167014
ready! let's go fights some bandits!
>>
>>1167015
>>1167017
>>1167018
Oh good, no butthole checking needed
>>
>>1167019
continue to tomb
>>
>>1167017
why I should mess anything, you left piece of mind?
>>
>>1167019
Onward... with rockets!
>>
>>1167023
we should all riDE on Bing now.
>>
>>1167024
Everyone cept Dick. I dont want his anus to bleed on me
>>
>>1167025
Everyone hates Dick, including himself
>>
>>1167029
shot blue down
>>
>>1167032
I could FIST your healing item next time
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1167033
kick rocks then
>>
The brain problems continue
>>
>>1167038
fuck those guys, let's go alone on adventure of our own
let's save the princess
>>
>>1167038
walk to tomb, don't worry about the others
>>
>>1167038
Pick Dick up by shoulders and continue
>>
The aprty reachs the tomb, with dick being a bit behind. He's struggling to follow as inside a part of him wants to leave the party.
>>
>>1167046
Loiter and smoke weed
>>
>>1167046
is this the tomb?
it has a different sign
are we sure this is the one in the bandit forest?
>>
>>1167049
It is, the bandits changed the sign due to your previous raid
>>
>>1167052
okay, we scout it out again and see what's changed since the first time we visited.
>>
>>1167052
shit they probably refilled their ranks. Since the mid boss has Bing's hat, we don't have fire of the storm.
>>
>>1167052
Land quietly. Play gentle dungeon tunes
>>
>>1167053
>>1167054
>>1167055
As the party sneaks up on the tomb, Richard vonlunteers to scout. All in favor say Aye
>>
>>1167056
a
y
e
>>
>>1167056
aye
I wanna be the one to roll too, OP
>>
>>1167056
Ayy
>>
>>1167056
Aye
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1167056
I'll rollcause fuck you
>>
>>1167058
Now roll 1d6 if Red Ranger has no obj->>1167064
Oh wait he does, roll 1d6 against him first
>>
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1167065
>>
>>1167069
No idea why my name dropped.
>>
>>1167069
Oh hey look once againt a third party wins. Bing Bingie scouts. Roll 1d6, Blues
6: Nothing changed, the bandits are overconfident
5: No troop refills, but they laid more traps
4: Bandits laid more traps and got some reinforcements
3: Bandits got lots more reinforcements
2: Tomb of 1000 traps
1: Bandits went into paranoid mode and upgrade everything
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1167076
Beep boop. Scanning.
>>
>>1167077
Damn, our new upgraded Bingie is a god
>>
Oh good. This also means the way from the entrance to where you last fought the bandit second in command is clear.
>>
>>1167077
Beep boop. No upgrades, but assuming no nee loot as well.
>>
>>1167082
We head straight to bandit second in command to not waste anytime
>>
>>
>>1167086
the golem... shit... it still has a lot of hp
>>
>>1167084
>>1167085
"Oh shit"
>>1167086
The golem got pushed down the stairs the last time you make your escape to hinder the bandits and has rolled into some forgotten corner.
OR THE BANDITS UPGRADED IT, who knows.
>>
>>1167090
Ambush these niggas with our bow, double shot
front line will be bingie and clackie with dick and fib in the back.
>>
>>1167090
Prepare the cannon for firing
>>
>>1167090
but the roll stated nothing changed, so it couldn't have been upgraded. right?
>>
>>1167090
I must be the most pimp golem. Hat is current priority one. Engage mission. Treasure is second.
>>
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1167097
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1167097
>>
>>1167097
This is agreeable
>>
>>1167099
>>1167100
Ambush failed. Normal combutt enganged.
Order of turns: Dick-> Bandit SiC -> Elite Bandit -> Clackie -> Fib -> Binh
Special Skills/Equipment:of the Elite bandit:
- Non-shitty bandit knife: +1 to DEX when attacking
- Spiked shoulder pads counter attack: has a chance to damage you he wins a defense roll
Special Skills/Equipment of the Bandit SiC:
- Non-shitty bandit knife: +1 to DEX when attacking
- Spiked shoulder armlets counter attack: has a better chance to damage you when he wins a defense roll
- Feint: Roll 2 dices instead of one and pick the higher number for result, he does this every 2 turns
- Very Sweet hat: a very sweet hat
- Sweet fur mantle: a sweet fur mantle
>>
>>1167015
Ditto the work thing.
>>
>>1167106
Shoot second in command first
fib, fire on SIC too
>>
>>1167109
Why doesn't Dick shoot them both?
>>
>>1167109
Shoot boooth
>>
Rolled 5, 3 = 8 (2d6)
>>1167112
Roll 1d6 then
+3 for both of you
>>
>>1167106
Fire on the elite bandit. It's what father would have wanted.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1167113
DIE BY THE DICK NIGGA
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1167113
Give the elite bandit totally consentual murder hug.
>>
>>
>>1167120
>only if you'll stop being an elf fuccboi and making bad decisions
no
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)
>>1167115
>>1167117
Amazing skills, gentlemen. You managed to miss both
Now the Bandit SiC aims at:
1: Bing
2: Clackie
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1167123
ok rolling for defence
>>
>>1167125
it was 5+3 for elite and 3+3 for SIC
we would' had to roll 4 or more to win, same bonus
>>
>>1167125
So did the bandits so they canceled eachother out
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1167123
Noice, let's see how he does
+5 him
+2 You
>>1167122
Oh so you admit to being an elf fuccboi. Good, acceptance is the first step
>>
>>1167129
damn forgot he had such a hi buff
>>
>>1167129
Well goddamn.
>>
>>1167129
that was about "bad" decisions
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)
>>1167129
The armor took the blow! 4 HP left for Clackie!
Now the elite bandit aims at
1: Bing
2: Clackie
>>1167132
Yes, sure it was. I totally belive you, fo sho.
>>
>>1167133
The elf does concede that he is a fuccboi while watching his friend get stabbed.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1167133
Blues
Roll 1d6
+5 him
+1 You
Dang
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1167138
>>
I feel like we are severely under leveled for this shit.
>>
>>1167138
The bandit needs to roll 1 and Bingie needs to roll 6 to even dodge that, bullshiet
>>
>>1167139
Dang. Bing has 3 HP left.
On lighter news, it's Clackie's turn. Remember, you can
- Punch
- Kick
It's all in the mind
- Palm strike
- Zen mumbo jumbo
>>
>>1167141
it's our first dungeon
we can do it
>>
>>1167144
palm strike
bandit SiC
>>
>>1167145
Should Richard be frontline since his dex is better against these fags?
>>
>>1167149
no, let's let them suffer
>>
>>1167149
perhaps, our END is upgraded
wait until Bing gets to 2 health then we'll switch.
>>
>>1167149
only if bing is really low, don't forget Richards rolls still fuck up.
>>
Rolled 4, 2 = 6 (2d6)
>>1167148
Roll 2d6
The first is for normal damaging. Second is stun roll if the strike hits. If it didn;t then second rolls are discarded
+4 You
+3 him
>>
Rolled 4, 3 = 7 (2d6)
>>1167153
>>
>>1167154
Sweet going Clackie
>>
>>1167154
is he stunded?
>>
Rolled 3, 1 = 4 (2d6)
3 HP LEFT ! AND HE'S STUNNED FOR 1 ROUND!
If you attack him now he'll be out of his stunned state but it's basically a free hit.
If you don't then he'll waste his next turn but he'll be able to defend after that. Choices.
Now it's Fib's turn
>>
>>1167162
Should Fib get a free cannon shot?
>>
>>1167162
Nevermind the rolls there, that was accidental
>>
>>1167162
FIB
GET THE FREE FUCKING ATTACK RIGHT NOW
HE'LL BE AT 2 HP
>>
>>1167164
Getem Fib
>>
>>1167162
if we hold off on shooting him we can focus on the other guy till richard fires
>>
>>1167162
how long is a round? is it till it is his turn again?
>>
>>1167172
nvm
>>
Sorry, had to to take a piss. HOw we doing?
>>
>>1167172
Yeah
>>
>>1167182
Bandits attack twice in a round?
>>
>>1167183
Well there're 2 of them, so yeah. Anyway, Fib shot the Bandit SiC. He now has 2HP
It's your turn
>>
>>1167183
no it just stops them from dodging.
they still lose an attack but they can still defend when their turn is over.
>>
>>1167186
Ice Ice Baby
>>
>>1167188
if we get ice off I can get a free palm strike off on SiC.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1167188
Choose a target then roll 1d6
+5 for you
+1 for elite bandit
+2 for Bandit SiC
>>
>>1167191
Damn son
that Charisma upgrade was worth it
>>
>>1167191
Bingie freeze the elite so we can fuck up this injured SiC
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1167191
>>
>>1167195
no SiC, then I can palm strike and stun him for free, and you kill him.
>>
>>
>>1167201
ok whatever
>>
>>1167198
No can do captain, need to reload. Dick has to kill him if u do dat
>>
>>1167202
oooooohh
>>
>>1167204
oh yah
>>
>>1167205
Bingie has a grudge too
>>
>>1167209
fair enough
>>
The elite is frozen!
Dick's turn
Choices:
- Shoot
- Double shoot (on cooldown, 1 turn remain)
- Put on dick mask (spread the elf disease on you, +1 DEX)
- Remember that tiem when you jerked off to squirrels
>>
>>1167212
Shoot SIC
Clackie can shatter elite for more damage maybe
>>
This also means the elite is out for the rest of the battle if you dont attack him. Its better than a stun. So kill SiC
>>
This also means the elite is out for the rest of the battle if you dont attack him. Its better than a stun. So kill SiC
>>
>>1167212
shoot lowest health bandit
>>
>>1167212
>-Shoot
The SIC
Jack off if he's out of range
>>
>>1167219
Shoot SiC you fool!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
Reds, roll 1d6
+3 all around
>>
>>1167222
dint worry that is SiC.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1167223
live by the dick
die by the dick
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1167223
Shooting arrows like a fuccboi.
>>
>>1167225
>>1167227
>>1167228
It's nice that you roll in descending order.
Anyway. 1HP left for the Bandit SiC.
"Ah shit"
Now it's his turn
>>
>>1167229
oh no
whatever will he do?
>>
>>1167232
he could run so be ready
>>
Defeeend
>>
And he decided to break out the elite bandit from the ice.
NOw it's the other bandit's turn
>>
>>1167235
woah, didn't expect that, that bandit lost 1 hp right?
>>
>>1167235
The fiend!
>>
>>1167235
Mother fu-
>>
>>1167237
Na, because he attacked the ice, not the bandit inside.
And then the elite bandit...Gave the SiC some healing herbs. Bring his health to 3.
But hey it's Clackie's turn.
>>
>>1167242
OP is being a cheap nigga
>>
>>1167242
The ravenous fiend!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1167242
Punch elite bandit then, we cant let the healer live
>>
>>1167248
op lost power at his house.
>>
>>1167252
I blame elves
>>
>>1167253
That an admit of guilt!?
>>
>>1167255
I'm a human
>>
>>1167256
Your gaped anus says elf
>>
>>1167257
toasters always lie
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1167248
+2 him
+4 you
>>
>>1167266
Good hit. 2HP left for him. Where's that goblin.
>>
>>1167269
gobbos
>>
Bing
>>
>>1167276
Ding
>>
>>1167278
ping
>>
>>1167281
Ching
>>
>>1167282
ying
>>
Wel since everyone but Blue and Yellow are gone apparently. What to do...
- Put thread on hold til tomorrow
- Wait some more
- Continue with only who are present, those chars will get more EXP
>>
poak buns
>>
>>1167284
poak buns?
>>
>>11672>>1167284
Till tonight or tomorrow
>>
>>1167284
We got REDs. Greens never mattered
>>
>>1167292
>Yes but the current red seems to be braindead
remove elf race faggotory debuff and I'm in
>>
>>1167294
Depends, are you gonna stop acting like an elf faggot
>>
>>1167296
Depends if you'll return my beautiful smile?
>>
>>1167298
Dunno, how many people are in here
>>
>>1167301
Bing
>>
>>1167301
I can even stand on frontlines instead of blue
>>
>>1167303
>>1167306
>>1167307
All in favor of forgetting the buttstuff says Aye
>>
>>1167312
........ummn
>>
>>1167314
That's neither an Aye or Nay
>>
>>1167312
Eh.
Fine. But only because we go back to jerky days
>>
>>1167317
but you never said nay
>>
>>1167318
>jerky days
those were the times
>>
>>1167320
It was implied
>>
>>1167322
Because with you sometimes it's hard to tell
>>
>>1167323
Do you support the notion or not, Mr Orc?
>>
>>
Power of diplomacy wins once again!
>>
Then let us no longer reference the buttstuff that has happened to Richard. At least I won't, intentionally.
>>
Now who's ready to continue the battle
>>
>>1167328
But Ranger needs to draw me a sweet hat
>>
>>1167328
Kinda sad now
>>
>>1167331
will do
>>
>>1167330
feel better having our gobbo here
>>
>>1167336
BUt he's not here, he's fooking braindead right now
>>
>>1167339
Don't worry, I'll protect him!
>>
>>1167339
can you take overfor him
>>
>>1167341
Nah, that'd be against the rules. let's just say he's high right now and move on to Bingie's turn
>>
>>1167343
Go ninja on Richard
>>
>>1167344
Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooowerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr UP!
>>
>>1167346
Go Ranger go ranger go!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1167344
Roll 2d6
Everyone else roll 1d4
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)
>>1167348
I GOT THE TOUCH!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)
>>1167348
>>
Rolled 6, 2 = 8 (2d6)
>>1167348
Go! Go! Go!
>>
>>1167354
can we go back a turn op?
>>
>>1167357
Sure. But first:
Everybody but Bing and Clackie gets a free evade. Huh
Anyway, Fib, do something. But not shooting though, that's still reloading
>>
>>1167358
Can i keep my roll?
>>
>>1167358
Entangle SiC bandito
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1167359
Well, yeah, this just means Fib gets to do his turn, After his turn the new eound starts
>>1167360
Roll 1d6
+3 You
+1 Him
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1167362
Dangit now we can't tentacle his ass
>>
>>1167365
Can you hold him upsode down so i can take my hat?
>>
>>1167365
all you needed was a 5
>>
>>1167368
I guess we cant get your hat before the bandit is dead
>>
>>1167365
Damn. Richard, it's your turn.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1167242
double shot
will be my last post for this morning, OP
rolling ahead of time
>>
Rolled 1, 1 = 2 (2d6)
>>1167377
A 4 against...
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1167372
>>1167379
ROLL OF JUSTICE!
>>1167376
Here you go buddy
>>
>>1167380
you guys gotta roll 2d6s
right?
>>
Rolled 4, 3 = 7 (2d6)
>>1167379
1 HP left for Elite
2 Hp left for SiC
>>1167381
Nah
>>
>>1167380
I'll love it forever
>>
>>1167385
Anything for sake of old jerky times
>>
Rolled 6, 2 = 8 (2d6)
"There's obviously one thing left to do now.....Set ourselves on fire and go for a suicide attack so if we die they won't get any loot"
>>
>>1167388
Not so fast bandit!
>>
>>1167388
Only barbarians can use fire. Are you a homo?
>>
>>1167388
Wusses
>>
>>1167390
"Joke's on you, this is my turn so I am so fast. C'mon bro, douse yourself in oil"
"Uuuuhhhh"
>>
>>1167393
reason with him, if he gives us the loot he can go free an not burn to death
>>
>>1167393
Elite. Kill your friend so we can have our hat back. You can leave. Beep boop
>>
>>1167397
he is going to burn your hat bruh!
>>
>>1167393
with our dex can we just steal his loot before he burned up?
>>
>>1167393
Yeah if you kill SiC we'll let you live
>>
>>1167400
Nooooo
Play the song of soothing!!!!
Puff the Magic Draaaaagon lives by the seaaaaa
>>
>>1167394
"I will be free...FREE FROM THIS MORTAL COIL"
"That offer to backstab you is looking mighty tempting right now"
>>
>>1167405
well dousing your self is one turn right?
>>
>>1167405
Ayo people, how's it going?
Can Fib use his vines against the SiC, or are they on cooldown?
>>
>>1167405
shoot his hat off him
>>
>>1167405
BING lunges at him and smothers the flames... and hopefully crushes him
QUICKTIME EVENT NIGGA
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1167410
ONCE IN A LIFETIME QTE: PRESS X TO STOP FIRE AND SAVE HAT
Roll 1d6 to press X
+3 him
+1 you
>>
>>1167413
Well that's fair.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1167413
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1167413
X
>>
>>
>>1167418
he still gets a +3 the poop head
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1167415
RIP in pieces.
ELITE BANDIT is currently having an INNER CONFLICT
WHAT WILL HE CHOOSE:
5-6: Stab SiC in the back and escape
3-4: Let SiC burn and escape
1-2: He burns too. Letting nobody get any loot.
>>1167418
You forgot there's also the bonus
>>
>>1167421
fuck what happend to my turn! I CAN STOP THIS!
>>
>>1167421
Well. I am officially bummed out.
I did everything I could at least....
>>
>>1167421
RIP Bingie's hat
>>
>>1167423
He has 2 hp. You can only do 1 dmg
>>
>>1167429
I can stun him
>>
>>1167433
Holy shit. You are right.
>>
Rolled 4, 4 = 8 (2d6)
"Eh fuck it, life sucks."
And then the bandits, and their stuff, are burned to ashes. The End.
But hey, at least you got EXP.
Oh wait they will also try a suicide attack. Everyone roll 1d6
If your roll is lower then 1 of my rolls then you get the "singed" debuff
If your roll is lower than both then you get the "burned" debuff
>>1167423
Nah, his turn comes before yours.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1167436
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1167436
yeah, but dousing himself should cost one turn
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1167436
Bingie bearhugs them and takes it for the team. Hatordie
>>
>>1167439
SiC douses then Elite lights the fire. It was big enough for both of them since they're so close together.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1167436
wusses, can't even finish fight properly
>>
>>1167441
sore losers I say
>>
Bingie last the most. RIP
>>
>>1167442
RIP, Dicks butt will get burned
>>
>>1167447
We cant talk about his butt anymore
>>
>>1167447
'dis is but a scratch
>>
>>1167449
no it'sjust op
>>
>>1167449
I wasn't here when that contract was signed! Muahaha!
>>
>>1167442
And so Dick was burned. It was like they were aiming for him or something.
Burned debuff causes him excrutiating pain. Giving a -1 to DEX ,STR, and END until somebody finds him an ointment
>>
>>1167453
Can Fib heal his burns?
>>
>>1167453
but is our beautiful smile safe?
>>
>>1167453
Bingie enters mental breakdown mode.
>>
>>1167453
Can we grind up some weed, mix it with water and oil and make an ointment?
>>
>>1167453
wow Dick can't catch a break today
>>
>>1167456
Kinda sorta
>>1167457
>>1167455
>>1167459
Probably, you could roll for it
Oh and his Dick mask got burned to ashes too. This could be a good or a bad thing
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1167463
Aight green elf let's roll for healing Dick
>>
>>1167463
Hat engage! Steal Fib's hat!
>>
>>1167463
as long we don't smoke the ashes it's all good
>>
>>1167463
console the hatless one
>>
Fib will attempt to he--OH SHIT BING'S GONE MENTAL
>>
>>1167471
Oh shit Clackie help
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1167471
Steal it
>>
>>1167471
hold him down!
>>
Clackie managed to tackle Bing as Fib resists his advances.
Meanwhile Richard's brain must have also got fried, he's hallucinating hats
>>
>>1167481
Haaaaats
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1167481
promise blue hats then
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1167481
Quick Clackie push his factory reset button on his left thigh! Meanwhile Fib will heal Dick
>>
>>1167481
its gone yoiu fool! we will get you a newer better hat
>>
>>1167486
Wow, this sentence sounds kinda gay.
>>
>>1167492
This whole adventure is full of gay
>>
>>1167492
we didn't put the button there!
>>
>>1167493
AND THE CULPRIT IS THIS...SCAPEGOAT
Direct all your complaints to him
>>
>>1167495
kill the goat, make it into a hat, give it to Bing
>>
>>1167495
Tame the gay scapegoat using druid magic and weed
>>
>>1167495
We should try to make some ointment with weed and water and oil. To help our dear Dick.
Yeesh, all this gay just comes so naturally.
>>
Anyway, Clackie will attempt to massageahem, reach into Bing's inner thigh and find the reset button. Will Bing resist?
>>
>>1167499
HEY THERE ISN"T A OFF SWITCH HERE!
YOU LITTLE BASTARD!
>>
>>1167499
Yes. Because we already know where it really is and they clearly forgot
>>
>>1167500
Well it's somewhere down there. Just search around!
>>
>>1167502
fuck you! I'm not looking any more you twisted little freak!
>>
>>1167499
Give me the hat!
>>
>>1167503
Golems dont have junk anyways, just do it
>>
>>1167507
NO! one thing I learned on this adventure is never go for the crotch unless its for kicking!
>>
Fib's mistake may have caused the lost of both the Golem and Orc's dignity
>>
>>1167508
Allright fine you wuss, hold him down and we'll go fondle his crotch then
>>
>>1167513
I said resist. Did you go full retard OP?
>>
>>1167513
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
That's it make him a new hat before I turn you inside out and make you his new hat!
>>
>>1167513
wew lads
>>
But seriously though he's reaching for Fib
>>1167516
Because I have 2 pictures goddamnit. This 60s post timer is killin me
>>
>>1167522
Just give him the hat then. Ask for his scarf in return though
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>1167522
Hat protocol must be satisfied
>>
>>1167529
you know I'm pretty sure we could have saved his hat if Bing actually froze SiC instead.
>>
>>
>>1167529
make a new hat out of the ashes and underwear and paint it blue.
>>
>>1167534
This GREEDY GOLEM wants both!
Staying true to his Jewish roots.
>>1167535
Greens and Blues roll 1d6
+3 For Greens
+1 For Blues
>>1167533
Yeah that too
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1167538
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1167538
Iceicebaby
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1167538
Fuckin' jews
>>
>>1167538
you know why don't the goblin just sit on the golem's head.
>>
>>1167544
>>1167545
Just as the vines entangle the Golem he lets loose one final verse from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rog8ou-ZepE
Greens and Blues roll 1d6
+2 For Greens
+4 For Blues
>>
>>1167548
Huehue
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1167548
Fuckin blue no heals for u after this again!
>>
>>1167552
you guys new this was bound to happen again.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1167548
>>
>>1167551
Where's ya roll
>>
>>1167556
out of the ashes is a baby hat?
>>
>>1167554
Why can't we just get along with everyone Clackie? Everyone hates poor ol Fib Smogee
>>
>>1167552
>>1167555
Luckily for Fib, he missed.
>>
>>1167560
Rocket with Fib outta here
>>
>>1167559
well if means anything, I hate Dick for being stupid, I hate Bing for being a retard that blue screens.
>>
>>1167560
Now we can leave the golem there and let him chill for a bit, while we prepare our famous miracle weed-cure for everything
>>
>>1167568
t-thanks guys
>>
Fib's trying to rocket out of the vines. Fib tries to return to medicine making. Clackie looks into the ashes for a..baby hat...for some reason.
>>
>>1167571
it might be like the Phoenix! rise from the ashes as a baby!
>>
>>1167573
Yeah that's not gonna happen any time soon
>>
>>1167571
Also lets take our hat off and stomp it broken
>>
>>1167574
well I been the most productive in the hat area. frankly I don't see you doing any better op fairy!
>>
>>1167575
You dun wanna do that
>>
>>1167577
What I want is Bingie to stop acting like a cunt after we went through the trouble of bringing his metallic ass back
>>
>>1167576
Well there's this GIANT HAT COLLECTION in the DLC BOX. But you aint gettin any
>>
>>1167579
No way Todd, I am not falling for your trickery.
>>
>>1167579
Beep beep (pathetic and sad)
>>
>>1167581
Rats, foiled again.
>>1167582
>>1167584
WILL FIB DESTROY HIS OWN HAT?!
CONFIRM?
>>
>>1167586
Yes. It was inevitable
>>
>>1167586
Bing slingshots into Fib
>>
>>1167586
just let me make him a new hat out of the straw lying around, bandits sleep of straw. If will put an end to this madness!
>>
>>1167590
sleep on*
>>
>>1167588
>>1167589
>>1167590
As OP ponders on the DLC hats that were never bought. Fib opts to stomp on his own hat.
But hey, Clackie has come up with a solution, surely this can all en-IH SHIT BING IS USING HIS ROCKETS AND THE VINES TO SLINGSHOT HIMSELF INTO FIB
Blue,roll 1d6
Anybody wants to save Fib, Roll 1d6
Note that if Bing suceeds Fib will also be KO'd due to his 1 HP
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1167592
Clackie and Dick halp pls
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1167592
damnit blue team
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1167592
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1167592
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1167592
POWER OF FRIENDSHIP
>>
>>1167593
>>1167596
>>1167595
As Bing crashes into the ground. Clackie and Richard fails to run up in time. But luckily Fib himself was quick enough to dodge
>>
>>1167601
Now complete the hatstomping process
>>
>>1167601
*sirens*
>>
>>1167601
turn on auto pilot
>>
>>1167604
That only works when im not here. Just make a hat! Or use Dicks hood
>>
>>1167606
I've been trying but you won't stop spring out!
>>
>>1167602
>>1167603
So now Fib's team color will be shown through his robe instead
>>
>>1167608
Also Fib gonna die. SOONtm
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1167608
easy there, friend
we are all in this together
sing a friendship song with me
>>
>>1167609
Wouldn't mind so much if it meant getting away from Bingie's sperging ass
>>
>>1167610
Sings
>>
>>1167609
Calm down nigga, it's jsut a hat.
A pretty sweet hat that would have raised your Pimpitude up to 100. But still just a hat.
>>
>>1167614
Can we finally try to help Richard?
>>
>>1167614
Sing friendship song with Richard
>>
>>1167614
Pff, pimpitude is the weakest stat out of all of them, nigga.
It only gives you minor boosts to CHA against bitches and Intimidation bonuses against snitches.
The Blazing stat, on the other hand, is the fuckin' best
>>
Some semblance of order has been restored
>>
>>1167622
Take his charred hood
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1167626
Now, Fib rolls a 1d6 to make ointment
>>
>>1167628
am I bald now?
>>
>>1167628
Wear hood
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1167628
Elf pls come roll
>>
>>1167632
Nvm, praise our lord Jesus for these rolls
>>
>>1167629
Yes. Even if >>1167632 means your burns will be healed. Your hair is gone. No sideburns or beard for you. Ya'll need a wizard for that.
>>1167630
AND SO THE HEALING OINTMENT IS CREATED. NOW WILL FIB WOULD BE SO GENEROUS TO GIVE IT TO RICHARD
>>
>>1167636
Yes of course. Dick's our special friend after all!
>>
>>1167636
but will my head shine gloriously?
>>
>>1167636
Yes we give him the oinment in shape of a blunt.
>>
>>1167636
Calm created
Apply ointment to burned Richard
>>
>>1167643
AND SO FIB DIPPED A BLUNT INTO THE OINTMENT
>>1167642
No.
>>
>>1167647
>No.
what if I polish it
>>
>>1167651
You'll rip the skin
>>
>>1167652
you are no fun
>>
>>1167647
Give him the ointment and the blunt
>>
>>1167654
Oh shit I'm sorry
>>
>>1167659
How much for DLC?
>>
>>1167647
Smoke it rangerboi, you will grow new hair! But I'm unsure if it will grow on your head, face or ass...
>>
>>1167655
>>1167661
Depends on which DLC you're looking for
>>
>>1167664
>Depends on which DLC you're looking for
Sentai helmet's DLCs
>>
>>1167664
Assorted hats Series 1
>>
>>1167664
Had you already release Manlet Rider Bear DLC for druid goblin?
>>
>>1167665
>>1167666
>>1167668
All questions will be answered inside this NON-SUSPICIOUS DLC ROOM
>>
>>1167671
you won't trick me todd, light the room
>>
>>1167671
Goddamn it Todd
>>
>>1167671
Dark room... Nice try! But I will go in anyway because you will properly use reverse psyology on me!!!
>>
>>1167673
>>1167675
Drat, foiled again!
>>
>>1167679
But... I had already got it on Steam...
>>
>>1167679
Almighty! Got any dlc?
>>
>>1167682
"well lesseee here...Extra hats DLC, Costume pack 1 and 2, 90s pack, Weeaboo robots pack, birthday suit pack, Facial Hair DLC, hmmm...well none of these fit with the lore. Best put them away"
>>1167681
Todd compels you to buy it twice
>>
>>1167689
God can we get a pompadour
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1167689
just drop down random one, check my 6
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1167693
Pff, check this 6
>>
>>1167691
"Very well, just roll 1d6 and get higher than 4 and also denounce whatever god you're worshipping and regconize me as the one true god"
>>
>>1167689
No thank, had already bought twice with Fallout 1, 2 and Tactic.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1167696
there is no other god than dice god
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1167696
What other god? You've always been the one true lord to us! Nature god is just another part of you in our gobbo druid religion!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1167696
Fuck you random number god.
>>
>>1167700
"Pzzap."
>>
>>1167703
Oh sweet! Thanks based god! We'll smoke some weed in your name
>>
>>1167689
Weeaboo robots pack sounds pretty good
>>
>>1167703
Give God the blunt as combination of thank and offering.
>>
>>1167689
Haaaaaaats
>>
>>1167703
At least we can stop hiding our weed in our nose now, and start putting it in our glorious pompadour.
>>
>>1167703
My job pulled me away. Damn it
>>
>>1167705
It would have turned Bing into this, and I'm sure nobody wants that.
Plus God only gives one gift once in a while and Fib took it.
Now lets pretend all this DLC talk never happened and continue
>>
>>1167718
Play 1/4 techno but move like 5/8 classical.
>>
>>1167718
Does the pompadour at least give us a bonus to CHA?
>>
>>1167718
Im sad OP
>>
>>1167719
That should be 4/4 techno.
>>
>>1167720
+1 CHA
Note: no druid ability uses CHA
>>1167723
Well too bad then, coulda asked for a new hat. But ya didn't
>>
>>1167727
It helps us resist Bingie's fuckery if he decides to try and freeze us again
>>
>>1167727
I did!
>>
>>1167718
>Could have been Mazbinger
You make me sad op
>>
>>1167730
Dude, just sir.
>>
Anyway, the party continues into the tomb
>>1167731
Yes, that's pretty much my life
>>1167730
No you asked for some DLCs, then when God decided to put it away you didn;t asked further. Shame. Shame. Shaemeeee
>>
>>1167735
Help a blue sad blue out
>>
>>1167737
Blue is feeling blue. Why doncha play the blues.
>>
>>1167735
scout vault
>>
BUt seriously, which way are ya going now.
>>1167740
Or pray to Machine God, or just God. Ya know, on the downlow so the others won;t find out.
>>
>>1167742
There isn't much to scout really. Just a huge door.
>>
>>1167749
Punch it
>>
>>1167749
By the way, is Clackie even here?
>>
>>1167749
Wait for somebody to open the door while smoking our blunt.
>>
>>1167749
Listen for what is on the other side
>>
>>1167752
Your WEAK GOLEM BARD PUNCH failed to even dent the thing
>>1167753
Hmm, seems not. ANY YELLOWS present?
>>
>>1167764
Try Rocket Punch.
>>
>>1167764
Use our key on the door
>>
>>1167767
The door opens
>>
>>1167773
Throw Fib in the room to make sure its safe
>>
>>1167774
>>1167775
Roll 1d6 against eachother
>>
>>1167773
Contemplate why we bothered to repair Bingie in the first place
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1167781
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1167781
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1167781
NOPE
Can we charm our way through this with our magnificent pompadour? Or use it to twist around Binge with some sick Druid-ju moves, i dunno
>>
The tiny one was too quick. Now who'll volunteer to scout the vault
>>
>>1167789
Since our animal form is on cooldown I guess Dick would be the best bet
>>
>>1167791
I actually think Clackie would be the best for this. He's pretty tanky, and has some good attack moves too.
Sadly, he seems to be braindead right now.
>>
>>1167794
Yeh we could save game since Clackie is out cold
>>
>>1167796
NIce idea, let Richard scout then we can save game
Since what's coming is
>>1167793
Roll 1d6
- 6: Bandit boss
- 5: Bandit boss
- 4: Bandit boss but he already knew you're here so you can't ambush
- 3: Bandit boss but he already knew you're here so you can't ambush
- 2: Bandit boss but he already knew you're here so you can't ambush and he gives you a surprise stab instead
- 1: Bandit boss but he already knew you're here so you can't ambush and he gives you a surprise stab instead
>>
>>1167803
do I need to roll again or that one will do?
>>
>>1167803
Richard didn't you use the ointment we gave you?
>>
>>1167807
use what
>>
>>1167806
Roll again, it amuses me.
>>
>>1167810
The weed thing that was supposed to heal your burns
>>
>>
>>1167810
The blunt with oinment, you will simple need to smoke it and you will look like a new human being or elf...
>>
>>1167818
Well its only made from weed leaves, just smear it into your skin
>>
>>1167818
Explosion scaled to success of roll
>>
>>1167818
But you have nerfed stats.. like Bingie
>>
>>
>>1167832
The blunt only amplified the effect. We can take the blunt and you can take the ointment
>>
>>
!WARNING!
ENCOUNTER:
BOSS OF THIS DUNGEON - BANDIT BOSS
Special Skills/Equipment:
- Boss bandit knives: +1 to DEX when attacking and defending will also do a guaranteed hit counter attack if he wins a defense roll
- Feint: Roll 2 dices instead of one and pick the higher number for result, he does this every 2 turns
- Double Stab: Roll 2 dices instead of one and use the sum for the result, he does this every 5 turns
- Boss bandit hat: the sweetest bandit hat
Also he saw you coming in so no ambushin
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>>1167837
Drawbacks you will more likely scare away all the cute ladies except homo barbarians.
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>>1167853
At least I'm taller than you
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Anyway, that's the end of this episode. TO BE CONTINUED...some other time. Bye
Updates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
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>>1167860
thanks for bread
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>>1167860
Thank for breado.
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>>1167860
Das cool
Gud bread
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Gg folks
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>>1167860
I'm just sad I missed so much because of work.
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>>1168002
There's always next time. Prolly
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10/10 bread. i came
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