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/qst/ Adventure Thing, part 2017-02-05 06:46:48 Post No. 1130542
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/qst/ Adventure Thing, part 2017-02-05 06:46:48 Post No. 1130542
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Oh shit nigger it's a /qst/ adventure thing. That I'm pretty sure I saw someone did before and I'm ripping them off but I can't remember the name so I can't credit them. Yea.
4 persons form an adventuring party in a nondescript generic fantasy land.
Each chacacter needs at least 1 player to be the voices in their head to tell them what to do n shit.
Just give yourself a name with the character's team color to identify which person you belong to. Ex: "Red Faggot"
Currently the party is exploring an ancient tomb that turned out to be a secret bandit base. After defeating a group of bandits guarding the hallway leading into the deeper chambers of the tomb, the party can now advance towards what they were looking for: phat loot.
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
>>1130542
here mostly for rolls, usually away, needs other red.
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>1130542
Penis inspection time
>>
>>1130570
YOur name should be BLUE + something
>>
>>1130542
reporting in, boss
>>
>>
alientato
>>
Meanwhile the orc and goblin minds are empty
>>
>>1130604
so everything is normal as always.
>>
>>1130542
here
>>
>>1130604
draw dicks on them
>>
>>1130604
try shaking the goblin one
>>
>>1130610
Bing Bingie is attempting to draw dicks on Clackie Chan, how will Clackie respond
>>
>>1130604
Knock on the orc's head.
>>
>>1130619
Clackie draws a penis on Bing's hand and dodges to show his orc fu prowess.
>>
>>1130629
YELLO and BLUe, roll 1d6
Yellow get a +2 bonus
While Blue gets a +1
Meanwhile, Richard decides to knock on the Orc's head or Shake the goblin
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1130646
wutaaaaah
>>
>>1130646
shake shake baby
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1130646
let's draw a big black cock there
>>
>>1130657
Shake Gobbo
>>
>>1130665
what can possibly go wrong when human shakes manlet anyway
>>
>>1130653
>>1130659
It's a draw!
If either of you want to try again, roll 1d6 again, same bonuses
>>1130657
>>1130665
THIS COULD POTENTIALLY KNOCK THE GOBLIN OUT. Continue Y/N
>>
>>1130673
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
>>
>>1130684
we continue
>>
>>1130684
just sword fight with the pens
>>
>>1130684
y
he'll be fine
>>
>>1130684
Try plucking the leaf from his head-stick instead.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1130684
reeeee
>>
>>1130700
yes
>>
>>1130698
>>1130695
>>1130689
SHake of Leaf, decide
>>1130705
THE GOLEM HAS ROLLED, THE ORC MUST NOW ROLL TOO
>>
Where the fuck are the manlets at?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1130684
>>
>>1130718
fine
we take the leaf from his head
>>
>>1130718
leaf
>>
>>1130718
Take the leaf
>>
>>1130722
>>1130726
>>1130728
>>1130725
Productivity is through the roof right now
>>
I am awake and here
>>
>>1130735
loot the bodies that Richard killed
>>
>>1130735
buff party with dubstep
>>
Should we eat the leaf?
>>
Clackie ran off and returned with a Spear and 2 gold
Richard ate the leaf, it tastes leafy. But it didn't do anything, because it's just a leaf.
Bing-Bingie laments the fact that he doesn't know dubstep
Fib is still in a coma
>>
>>1130768
We beep and boop to a fast rhythm and shake the box of shitty daggers. Close enough to dubstep mirite?
>>
>>1130768
We tie fin to clackie's back since he's the strongest. We must proceed.
Unless you guys think we should make a fire and eat some sammiches until he wakes up.
>>
>>1130768
realize I'm a shlomo
Golems are jewish
>>
>>1130768
feeling really lonely in Clackie's head...
>>
>>1130788
Right? Dick gets a bunch of head personas. Wheres the love for the the other 3?
>>
>>1130800
Should I go green team so we can get going?
>>
Bing Bingie realizes he's actually Jewish, as Golems are a jewish creation. Unless he's one of those Fantasy type golems, which are just automatons that use the name.
He does this while beeping and booping to a fast rhythm and shaking the box of shitty daggers to emulate dubstep.
It sounds like shit.
Just like dubstep, AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Meanwhile Richard is being undecisive on what to do with Fib
>>
>>1130813
Now that we know of our heritage, we must think of a way to get most out of the phat loot from these goyims
>>
Spear given
>>
>>1130834
Goyim Golem? Is that our model series?
>>
>>1130841
Fuck it. Tie his tiny ass to Clackie. Can't risk him getting stepped on or something.
>>
>>1130841
Bingie takes spear. We need a ranged weapon anyway.
Maybe.
I think
>>
>>1130843
You're actually made in China
>>1130846
Is Clackie okay with this plan?
>>
>>1130858
It's only practical for business. He must be okay with it.
>>
>>1130858
Or rather we tie him to ourselves since we'll be at back.
>>
>>1130858
draw dicks on gobbo and move on
>>
>>1130872
Arright, now the party can move on
>>
>>1130896
Alright, advance the plot and continue exploring the dungeon
>>
>>1130896
lets go
while being totally obnoxious with pseudo-dubstep
>>
Continuing into the corridor, the party is suddenly hit by a feeling that there may be traps here.
That feeling is immediately drowned out by Bing's "dubstep"
>>
>>1130926
Throw a knife down the hall to check.
>>
>>1130926
Make a sound so loud it vibrates the hall
>>
>>1130926
think of new Dragonball super theme song then hide then try to hide the fact that he's being a weeaboo faggot.
>>
>>1130934
Watch that somehow backfire.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
RICHARD AND BING CHECK FOR TRAPS.
Red and Blue roll 1d6
Highest of two teams will be used
While Clackie tries to hide his weeabooness
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1130970
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1130970
Go, knife!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1130970
DIE BY THE DICK
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1130970
>>
>>1130980
*click*
AND THE TRAP WAS
Reds, since you discovered it, roll 1d6
1 - Assrape Machine 5000 Mk.V
2 - Collapsing floor
3 - Flame corridor
4 - Arrow corridor
5 - Sucker punch
6 - A note calling you gay
7 - A trap
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1131012
nigga there's 7 things on there and we can't roll for the 7
>>
>>1131015
That is the joke.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1131012
>>
>>1131012
you really want us to get this Assrape machine, don't you?
>>
>>1131015
The trap is sprung. Revealing the bandits's expert method of keeping out intruders
>>1131026
Its power is to exclusively target Richards ass
In all seriousness it's mostly a joke option, the same as the trap(male). As there would be now way all three reds rolling a 1
>>
>>1131043
looks like we're good to go
keep moving forward in the dungeon
>>
>>
>>1131043
Take note and and tape it to Fibs butt
>>
>>1131043
Tape note to man let's face.
>>
>>1131060
>>1131061
>>1131062
Seems we are at an impasse.
>>
>>1131073
tape it to the face
>>
>>1131073
retract my offer and put it on fib.
It's fibs own fault for being in a player coma.
>>
>>1131073
Face.
>>
>>1131073
Evade the note
>>
>>1131090
Well, since Blue didn't reply, let's stick it onto Fibs fa-- OH SHIT HE'S AWAKE
>>
>>1131103
Play soothing morning music.
>>
>>1131103
start whistling and looking innocent
>>
>>1131103
Get it away from me! Papercuts kill 70% more gobs than zebra stampedes per year!
>>
>>1131114
This.
>>
>>1131103
pat Gobbo on the head
wise orc once said:
"bout time nigga!"
>>
>>1131114
>>1131110
>>1131120
>>1131127
WILL FIB BE SWAYED?
>>
>>1131133
Unstrap fib now that he's awake
>>
>>1131133
I was hoping he would honk when pat on head.... oh well
>>
>>1131133
Bing, give spear? You have sweet musics to play.
>>
>>1131135
Yeah.
Little bastard can carry himself.
>>
>>1131146
Give Fib the spear.
>>
After being unstrapped, Lil Dickface recieves the spear
>>
>>1131155
Alright, now we move on with actual plot and continue exploring
no more dicking around
>>
>>1131162
But Dick is in our name.
>>
>>1131155
continue down the hallway
>>
Robot unicorn attack
>>
>>1131165
exactly
>>
The party moves onwards as Fib washes of the penis
Shame, Bing spent so much time on it
>>
>>1131188
Be on the lookout for enemies
>>
>>1131188
Beep boop
Continue search
>>
>>1131188
Ok, where are we going and how safe is it?
>>
>>1131188
Vigilantly watch for foes.
>>
>>1131188
roll around doing kung fu poses like before
>>
>>1131194
>>1131199
BLUE AND REDS, roll 2d6
First roll is to see which one of you discovered something, second is what you discovered
Results for BLUE:
1 - 2 Elite Bandits
2 - 1 Elite Bandit
3 to 4 - Nothing
5 - A chest
6 - Hidden Bandit Stash
Results for RED
1 - 3 Elite Bandits
2 - 2 Elite Bandit
3 - 1 Elite Bandit
4 - 4 Shitty Bandits
5 - 1 Shitty Bandit
6 - Nobody, the way is safe
While the golem and human search, the goblin wonders where is the party heading while the orc rolls around the room doing kung fu poses like an asshole
>>
Rolled 6, 5 = 11 (2d6)
>>1131230
LIVE BY THE DICK
>>
Rolled 6, 3 = 9 (2d6)
>>1131230
Fuk em up
>>
Rolled 4, 2 = 6 (2d6)
>>1131230
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131230
>>
Rolled 2, 6 = 8 (2d6)
>>1131230
Misrolled
>>
>>1131245
2d6
>>
>>1131231
The party finds a stray bandit
He's just finished shitting
>>
>>1131259
You know what we're doing, OP
AMBUSH THIS NIGGA
>>
>>1131259
Golem PAUNCH!
>>
>>1131259
Force him to listen to clackie talk about weeb stuff until he tells us what all he knows about the dungeon.
>>
>>1131266
if we fight him we level up
>>
RICHARD WANTS TO AMBUSH BANDIT! BUT BING SUDDENLY RUNS FORTH TO PUNCH HIM!
IF HE SUCCEEDS RICHARD WILL LOST HIS AMBUSH CHANCE!
Will Richard try to stop Bing Bingie?
>>
>>1131259
Gross.
What, that's at nose level, man!
>>
>>1131278
no, because bing is a heavy ass motherfucker
>>
>>1131278
No.
>>
>>1131278
JUST AMBUSH FASTER THAN HIS PUNCH YOU DEXFAG
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131281
>>1131282
BLUEs, roll 1d6
+2 4 u
+1 4 him
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131300
>>
This is where I call it a night, fellas. Good luck.
>>
>>1131307
Bandit has 1 HP left
It's Richards turn now
>>
>>1131323
send arrow to face of bandit
>>
>>1131323
orc punch
>>
>>1131329
"Thanks"
[rimshot]
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1131339
Shoot the bandit now from inside the letter
>>
>>1131323
you know I have a question, how come we equate dex to speed?
Dex is just technique not speed.
>>
>>1131339
Punch during distraction
>>
>>1131342
Because video games.
Also DEX rolls off the tongue easier than AGI
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1131341
For reals though. Roll 1d6, REDs
+3 for u
+2 for him
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131356
FUCK THIS NIGGA UP
>>
>>1131358
RIP
The envelope that is
>>
>>1131358
Dodged.
Now it's Clackie's turn
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131364
orc punch
I roll now to save time
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1131365
Whoosh
+3 fore you
+1 fore him
lesse
>>
>>1131381
damnit tie goes to the defender?
>>
>>1131381
Also dodged.
What will Fib do?
>>
>>1131387
HEY MANLET
STAB NOW, YOU GOT A SPEAR
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131387
Stab bandit with spear. And terror.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131391
CAN FIB BECOME THE HERO?
+2 for both
>>
>>1131400
He dodges again! Now the bandit is contemplating fight or flee
>>
>>1131406
Offer the bandit to join our party
we'll even give him a cool name
>>
>>1131402
it's probably why everyone at our respective villages hate us.
>>
>>1131409
Speak for yourself. Fib doesn't even have a village.
>>
>>1131413
there is a reason for that
>>
>>1131408
"Hell no faggots. I saw how you treat your own "party members". Imma get the fuck outta here and warn the others! AND THIS WILL HELP ME DO THAT"
Oh no
He's gonna throw his shit at you
>>
>>1131419
AW SHIT
DICK, HIDE BEHIND THE GOLEM
>>
>>1131419
hide behind the golem
>>
>>1131419
Dude, you're holding a pile of shit.
>>
Rolled 4, 3, 4, 2 = 13 (4d6)
>>1131430
AND IM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRR
All teams roll 1d6
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131433
FUCK YOU
LIVE BY THIS DICK NIGGA
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1131433
>>
Note that anyone who doesn't roll gets a 0
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131433
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131433
>>
As Shit-dodging is one of the basic training exercises of Orc-fu, Clackie was the only one not covered in shit.
He's the only one who can stop the bandit now
Chase after shit bandit Y/N?
>>
>>1131460
CLACKIE GO YOU GLORIOUS MONK
AVENGE US
>>
>>1131460
I blame Richard for this.
>>
>>1131460
hmmmmmm
it could be a trap.....
yeah better stop him
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1131468
Roll 1d6 to see if you're faster than him
+2 for both
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1131484
>>
>>1131487
you had one job
>>
>>
>>1131490
Lurkers? What lurkers? hoho
>>
>>1131496
well OP
it looks like we're boned
>>
>>1131487
Clackie was too slow! THe shit bandit has gotten away and will surely alert the others now!
This might also means they'll ambush you instead of Richard doing it.
>>
>>1131507
well
time to wipe off the shit off us
be on the looking out for an ambush
>>
>>1131507
clean ourselves
>>
>>1131507
be on the look out while they clean
>>
>>1131507
Being a forest hobo, Fib has already been covered in his own shit to mask his smell when hunting for rabbits, sneks and squirrels. Sometimes stray bitches too.
That said, the shit shouldnt affect us so much
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1131514
Roll 1d6
4-6: It's safe, nothing happens
2-3: An enemy jumps you and you must fight him solo as the others are occupied
1: 2 enemies jump you
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1131520
why did you roll?
>>
>>1131523
Typo
>>
>>
>>1131523
OH SHIT IT's A ELITE BANDIT
Clackie must now fight him in a [Mandatory tutorial battle to introduce new enemy]
>>
>>1131542
aw shit
>>
>>1131542
Meanwhile, we try to get shit off us with
King's Magical Shit remover "Totally organic stuff" Deluxe™
>>
>>1131542
damn, look a those spikes!
comming out of the lurk shadows to help you
>>
>>1131547
COMMENCING BATTLE
Here be his stats
Special skills/ equips:
- Non-shitty bandit knife: +1 to DEX when attacking
- Spiked shoulder pads counter attack: has a chance to damage you he wins a defense roll
>>
>>1131561
guess he goes first
>>
>>1131555
>King's Magical Shit remover "Totally organic stuff" Deluxe™! It's so organic you'll swear they made it out of grounded up Barbarian bones!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131566
This is a dangerous foe, when he tries to stab you. So watch out
+4 for him
+2 for you
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1131571
kyaaahh
>>
>>1131574
oh shit
>>
>>1131569
Meanwhile, Fib tries to attune to the natural side of shit. He feels its spirit. He feels its smell. He knows the shit. He is the shit.
>>
>>1131574
Blocked!
Now how will Clackie respond?
>>
>>1131583
His strength is 2, so go for an orc punch, Clackie
however, watch out for the spiked shoulder pads
>>
>>1131583
fuuuuck
should I go out the gate attacking or try my luck at a buff? both are on luck.
>>
>>1131583
we going to assist him anytime soon or we still cleaning up shit?
>>
>>1131583
By the way can we do partial wild shape? Example like turning our gobbos hands into bear claws.
>>
>>1131590
how about retreating to the shit covered conrades?
>>
>>1131593
that's an option? I don't think we have that, only Fib has run like a bitch
>>
>>1131596
Fucked them, punch'a foll then
>>
>>1131599
ok we punch,
but op we don't have an option to run right?
>>
>>1131596
Richard has too, if i remember correctly. And he got fucked for it, so it is not a good idea.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131602
Roll 1d6
+3 for you
+2 for him
I mean yes you can run like a bitch. But your honor will never be restored and all your ancestors and future ddescendants will forever laugh at yo bitch ass
>>1131592
Yes, but fo balance that has a cooldown during battle
Upside is it doesn't have a full day cooldown like turning yourself into a whole animal
Downside is you'll only get 1 stat buffed at a time and your END will still be 1
>>
>>1131583
we orc punch
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131606
ok Ork roll
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131606
>>
>>1131606
Cool, can't wait to try out by transforming either our head or hands into bear mode for attacks.
>>
>>1131616
We can't attack with those from second line, though. That's why we got a spear.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131608
2 HP left! He's gonna stab ya again! Roll 1d6
+4 for him
+2 for you
>>1131591
Still cleaning, I mean, you know how many nooks and crannies there is in a golem? Shit gets into there man
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1131622
oh man
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131622
>1131622
>>
>>1131621
Yes I'm aware we have cooldown, so that I don't expect that we do it every turn.
It is good thing we have own spear instead for shitty knife. It would be awesome if we could get a hand on pipe tomahawk for smoking weed.
>>
>>1131624
You have 2 HP left
What do?
>>
>>1131631
Punch again
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131632
Roll 1d6
+3 for you
+2 for him
>>
can we encourage from afar?
>>
Rolled 16 (1d16)
>>1131633
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131633
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1131633
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131638
1HP left!
Again with the stabbing!
+4 for him
+2 for you
>>1131634
Yes
>>
>>1131631
a green fag reporting
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131645
>>
>>1131645
jesus I'mma at the edge of my seat
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1131645
encouraging intensifies
also betting
>>
>>1131641
Oh Buddhist Ork we need your roll
>>
>>1131651
THE ENCOURAGEMENT
DIDN'T DO SHIT!
YAY!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1131645
>>
>>1131655
at least we feel better about ourself
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1131645
>>
>>1131663
dice god my man, dice god
>>
I bet 2 gold on bandit
>>
1 HP LEFT FOR YOU TOO!
SUDDEN DEATH!
>>
>>1131667
PUNCHA!!!
>>
>>1131667
wow OP, you're getting pretty lazy
>>
>>1131667
ok guys roll'EM
we orc punch one last time
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1131669
>>1131672
Roll 1d6
+3 you
+2 him
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131676
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131676
fuck common op
stop rolling so good
>>
>>
>>1131676
let the tie go to the attacker this time shit nigga
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131678
>>1131679
OH SHIT
Roll 1d6 to dodge shoulder spikes
no bonus for anyone
>>1131685
No. When they tie, you win. So now when you tie, they win.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131689
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131689
>>
>>1131682
Damn family is keeping me busy and making me miss rolls!
quick, what should I do to them?:
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1131689
>>
>>1131694
abandon them
a monk should place his religion first
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131690
Dodged! NOW HE'S GONNA STAB YA!
+4 for him
+2 for you
>>1131694
>>1131697
But do it in the ORcish way
Challenge them to shirtless unarmed combat
>>
>>1131712
GOD DAMN ORCS
THIS IS IT
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1131712
will, do!
grandma has amazing packs tho
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1131712
>>
>>1131712
6 or they ded
>>
>>1131717
I bring shame to my family
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1131712
>>
>>1131721
this is such fucking bullshit
phone stops working all of a sudden on a decisive roll, fix it with restart and still lose roll. fuck
>>
>>1131716
CLACKIE CHAN IS KO'D
WILL HE BE EXECUTED?! OR WILL HE BE CAPTURED?! OR WILL HIS "friends" SAVE HIS KO'D ASS IN TIME?!
>>
>>1131725
ZzZzZzZz
>>
>>1131725
WELL IF ONLY CLEANING SHIT OFF OF YOURSELF DIDNT TAKE SO LONG
>>
>>1131725
ok guys your chance to help. Holy fuck I'm salty, you suck dice god.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131725
shot that faggot in the eye
>>
>>1131725
CLACKIE CHAN
OP
WE ROLL TO AMBUSH THIS BANDIT NIGGA
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1131730
RICHARD TO THE "rescue"
Roll 1d6 to attempt ambush
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131733
LIVE BY THE DICK
DIE BY THE DICK
>>
>>1131733
FUCK YOU DICE GOD YOU COCK SUCKING FUCK!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1131733
welp
>>
>>1131738
do you get dex plus for ambush?
>>
>>
>>1131740
bummer, help us obi dickanobi you are our only shooting hope
>>
>>1131738
The bandit spots you, ambush failed.
"AH! No sudden movements or the Orc gets it!"
How will the party respond?
>>
>>1131743
Just slowly notch and fire an arrow. He only told you not to make any sudden moves
>>
>>1131743
We throw some shit at him
FUCKING DO IT
clackie chan can dodge all types of shit even while unconscious
>>
>>1131743
by not making a sudden movement...?
>>
>>1131743
as a monk I feel ashamed
>>
>>1131743
start smoking weed, offer him a blunt
>>
>>1131743
do sudden movement, orc has plot armor anyway
>>
>>1131743
Move suddenly obviusly
>>
Seems the minds of red and greens are in conflict over what to do
Blue still bluescreen though
>>
>>1131754
toss manlet on enemy to distract bandit while trying to finish bandit off with arrows
>>
>>1131754
Tell the bandit to chill out, we can discuss this over a smoke
>>
>>1131758
we have one media pack left, we need it for Clackie
>>
>>1131754
Slowly put on our dick mask so the bandit has something to laugh at
also it's not a sudden movement
>>
>>1131760
medi*
>>
>>1131758
ayo fuck you bud.
not getting knocked out again.
Ill stop healing you, nigga
>>
>>1131761
or that
>>
>>1131764
The derp continues
>>
>>1131768
while blues blue screen
>>
>>1131768
nigga
I already told you we slowly put our mask on
>>
And wht will green do though
>>
>>1131768
we start smonking some weed and offer the bandit some too.
We gotta be chill guys, we can solve this diplomatically
>>
The bandit's response to your shenanigans:
>>
>>1131777
OKAY
NOW WITH OUR ENHANCED DEX
WE SLOWLY APPROACH HIM
>>
hey guys, what did I miss?
>>
>>1131778
you meant 3 times quicker
>>
>>1131777
We offer you weed and you call us dickheads? That is not cool, bro.
Let chuck our spear at the bandit while Richard distracts him
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1131778
Bandit will now try to reposition self so as to not kill the orc because you startled him
1-3: ded
4-6: not ded
>>
>>1131777
Distract the bandit by pulling down our pants and partial wildshape our legs into bear legs while allowing ranger doing his ambush attack.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1131785
OH SHIT
NO
USE OUR ENHANCED DEX TO STOP THE KNIFE ATTACK
WE CAN'T LET CLACKIE DIE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131785
F
>>
>>1131785
WE HEAL CLACKIE RIGHT AS THE BANDIT STABS HIM
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1131785
Fuck you bandit shitto!!! We are gonna rape you hard so that the Devil himself will scream in pure horror by simple seeing our action!!!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1131789
One last chance, nerds.
Everybody roll 1d6 for one desperation move
>>1131791
He did say to not suddenly move
>>
>>1131794
the roll for ded confused me
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1131794
WE ROLL TO SHOVE THE REVIVAL PILL UP CLACKIE'S ASS
RNG SAVE US
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131794
I'm winning the bet!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1131794
Heal clackie right as the bandit kills him. That should nullify the wound
>>
>>1131797
well someone's got a win win
>>
>>1131795
Well because I'm being merciful.
If I wasn't you'll be ded by now.
>>
>>1131800
thank you
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1131794
boop
>>
>>1131798
Fib Smogee, using all his tiny goblin power, blasted out a healing spell right as the knife cuts Clackie Chan's throat, healing the thing before Clackie could be killed. He's still knocked out with 0 HP though, so yeah.
But on the upside, the bandit is distracted. Now Richard, being the fastest of the group can do something. Or he can let somebody else do something instead, eh.
>>
>>1131808
SINCE WE'VE GOT THE DICK MASK ON
WE ARROW THIS NIGGA IN THE FACE
LIVE BY THE DICK
>>
>>1131808
could they shove my revive pill up Clackie's ass and he revives full health?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1131808
shoot bandit's dick off
>>
>>1131814
Yeah, if they want to
>>
Just letting know that I'm gonna be away for a while, need to take care some business.
>>
>>1131819
That's usually code for masturbation
>>
>>1131821
Will Reds attempt to give Clackie the pill?
>>
>>1131823
if red ranger agrees to it, then we do so
>>
>>1131823
Yes. Attach pill to the arrow and apply
>>
>>1131825
oh dear god
>>
>>1131825
don't do it man, our but is on the other side,
dive between our legs abd aply it manually
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1131825
Reds Roll 1d6 for trickshot
Note that if you fail, you kill Clackie. Due to sticking a arrow up his ass
>>
>>1131830
ok this is better
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1131832
THE RNG GOD BLESSES THE DICK
YESSSSSS
>>
>>1131832
sweet mercifull lord thank you
>>
>>1131808
”oh, thanks for saving our friend for certain death, Fib”
”You are welcome, guys”
Worst party ever
>>
>>1131837
well we did toss you, twice, so thank you for being extra usefull.
>>
>>1131838
our assholes actually have teeth.
>>
>>1131842
break his neck
>>
>>1131842
CLACKIE
FINISH HIM OFF
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1131842
now when bandit really distracted, kill him
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1131844
Roll 1d6
+3 you
+2 him
>>
>>1131847
RIP
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1131847
welp here's to my 6
>>
Rolled 4553598 (1d8008135)
>>1131847
Alrighty then, Dice Gods
>>
>>1131850
atta orc!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1131847
Oops
>>
>>1131852
>>1131850
"Won. But rolled the wrong dice before. must resist urge to turn Orc into a shitty elf" - Dice God
>>
>>1131852
please dont!
>>
>>1131861
"Oh well maybe I'll let em go this t- Wait what. Oh you'll do that? Well okay. Do it"
>>
>>1131861
Let's just focus on snapping this bandits neck, first
>>
>>1131856
you are still on probation, don't force it
>>
>>1131863
Done
>>
>>1131868
The bandit is dead.
Also Clackie Chan no longer have testicles.
>>
>>1131873
Loot that nigga for his sweet shoulder pads
>>
>>1131873
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
>>
>>1131865
I'm on probation at your mom's
>>
>>1131873
now we can be young forever.
>>
>>1131874
"I'm sorry, but I must now return to my home planet"
>>
>>1131873
do we level up?
>>
>>1131880
shoot an arrow at its wings to stop it
>>
>>1131887
well, what can we loot, OP?
>>
>>1131887
Shoulderpads moved so fast, even 4chan couldn't keep up
>>
>>1131880
shoot it down
>>
>>1131891
dayum son, dem shoulderpads be fast.
Since they seem to be sentient and can fly, can Fib use Speak with Animals to convince it to come down?
>>
>>1131887
aw you said that on twitter last time, bust since you were kind to not let us die, I understand why.
>>
>>1131893
You got:
- Non-shitty Bandit Knife
- 1 gold coin
>>1131894
What shoulderpads
>>1131895
If you won normally it woulda count. But since this time the bandit was killed in less than normal terms, ya nee done more.
>>
>>1131897
Too bad we can't use the knife, the +1 dex bonus would be nice
>>
>>1131897
it seems all we're getting is crap for loot
when do we get to the good stuff?
keep progressing in the dungeon, we have to be close to the end
>>
>>1131897
Fib will take the knife, then, unless someone else wants it.
>>
>>1131898
it would, but maybe we can make ki knives and ki nunchucks later on
>>
>>1131899
Yes, continue on, no good stuff here.
>>
>>1131903
We continue exploring and convince the others to help us look too instead of doing nothing
>>
>>1131903
ok guys I say we find the next battle and play it super safe.
>>
>>1131901
Nah, you're best off with your spear. Dick should take the knife. If he uses the Dick Mask and dual wields the +1 to Dex while defending Sabre and that Knife, he'll be a good fighter
>>
>>1131906
But also means he can't do shit if he stays in the back.
If Dick dual wields the blades then he'll need to move to the front to do stuff
>>
>>1131906
Dick only uses his bow, though. And he cant use the knife from the second line
>>
>>
>>1131913
Seems we're blueless at the moment. We've a fair number of Orcs, could I switch to Blue-name?
>>
>>1131915
this is our best choice it seems
has better defence and attack
best have one OP character now and best be the one who can attack first.
>>
>>1131915
Have it, then.
>>
>>1131917
no they will be back we need you it's only you me and Buddhist, usually it's just me.
>>
>>
>>1131922
you can't have both?
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>1131929
yup
>>
>>1131929
lets go
>>
>>1131929
With that done, the party moves on
And comes across another puzzle
>>
>>1131933
equips
>>
>>1131933
usually something store bought sucks compared to something you loot.
but what we looted was pretty bad.
but if you do go for the equips, they might be something good because we might be close to the end.
Dick goes for the equips
>>
>>1131933
equips
>>
>>1131933
Eunorc wants equips
>>
>>1131941
Orcs best off splitting and going for armor
>>
>>1131941
Dick goes for armor too
>>
>>
>>1131948
what if we get trapped and can't get to you, splitting up is getting too greedy.
>>
>>1131943
>>1131945
hmmm
Seems Clackie a bit indecisive
>>
>>1131949
Fine, i guess we can go back to the weapons later, right?
>>
>>1131952
I say we don't split up, it hasn't been doing well especially on our rolls.
>>
>>1131954
Butt think of all the butt stuff
>>
>>1131953
well I'll be honest, chances are if we go in one way the other will be closed off, that's why I'm worried about splitting up.
>>
>>1131955
we are out of lube tho
>>
>>1131960
kk
mellow you cool?
>>
>>1131962
Sounds good to me. Might be get to get some END on the Goblin or Dick, seeing as he's frontline now
>>
MEANWHILE, BING BINGIE
>>
>>1131966
someone pull Bingie around, please.
>>
>>1131964
that's what I'm thinking
we get end for Gobbo or Dick
Char for Bing
Str for us and or dex for us or dick
>>
>>1131966
we drag bingie along with clackie
>>
>>1131970
>>1131971
AND NOW, ENEMY ENCOUNTER
First, pick one player among yourselves to be the roller.
>>
>>1131975
I'll do it since I'm the fastest
>>
>>1131976
thing he randomised the encounter
>>
>>1131975
I'm sure Red Knight's got this one
>>
>>
>>1131976
>>1131980
Indeed, just like last time when he spawned the Tomb Guardian
NOW, ROLL 1d6 for MID-BOSS ENCOUNTER
6: 4 Elite Bandits
5: Bandit Second-in-command + 1 elite bandits
4: Bandit Second-in-command + 2 elite bandits
3: Bandit Second-in-command + 3 elite bandits
2: Bandit Second-in-command + 4 elite bandits
1: Assrape Machine 5000 Mk.V
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1131990
#5
>>
>>1131990
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit son
>>
>>1131993
damn
>>
>>1131993
woah, you sure you ain't a wizard?
>>
>>
>>1131993
"Ey look! It's those fucks that Ol' Shitpans warned us about!"
"GET 'EM!"
>>
>>1132002
We ambush these niggas
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1132005
Which one?
>>
>>1132013
Boot up
>>
>>1132013
second in command
>>
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1132016
Ah yes, the bandit second-in-command
Special Skills/Equipment:
- Non-shitty bandit knife: +1 to DEX when attacking
- Spiked shoulder armlets counter attack: has a better chance to damage you when he wins a defense roll
- Feint: Roll 2 dices instead of one and pick the higher number for result, he does this every 2 turns
- Sweet hat: a sweet hat
- Sweet fur mantle: a sweet fur mantle
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1132023
LIVE BY THE DICK
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1132023
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1132026
Roll 1d6 to shoot him
+5 for you
+3 for him
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1132027
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1132027
ez
>>
>>1132027
we wasted all our good rolls rofl
>>
>>1132030
"Ow"
Now the battle starts. Reds can now:
- Shoot him again
- Switch to non-shitty knife
- Pull out shortsword
- Genuflect
>>
>>1132033
Put on our dick mask
>>
>>1132034
why we can't wear it all the time dang it
shooting again would be preferable
>>
>>1132033
Hey mellow I suggest we do Zen Mumbo Jumbo, hopefully we will get the buff we need.
>>
>>1132037
we're in the frontline nigga
we need to dodge right fucking now
>>
>>1132039
mask then
>>
>>1132038
Sounds good to me
If we get a DEX Boost we can start slapping these guys around
>>
>>1132037
Being an elf artifact, putting it on for too long will turn you into an elf
>>
>>1132046
okay, good then we not wearing it every time
fuck elves
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)
>>1132034
>>1132042
Now it's the Second-in-commands turn. The Bandit SiC is targetting
1: Clackie
2: Richard
>>
>>1132044
they have plus dex with their knives so it's their 4 against our possible 3 let's hope we can get Bing to buff, if he isn't in sleep mode right now.
>>
>>1132049
ORCS
OH SHIT WAKE UP
>>
Rolled 2, 6 = 8 (2d6)
>>1132049
He's gonna try a Feint! Yellows roll 1d6
+4 for him
+2 for you
>>
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1132052
>>
I am back from my internet outage.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1132052
Rev up that healing mumbo jumbo, Fib
>>
>>1132054
>Yellow CockTie Business Orc
>Yellow CockTie
>CockTie
Having gone back on your word. The heavens punish you by turning the entire party into shitty elves.
Also you lost 1HP
>>
>>1132057
I thought it would be funnier if I had the cock for a tie, thought you would like that.
>>
>>1132057
what the fuck
we're all elves now?
time to kill ourselves
>>
>>1132059
Yes, witness your shame, neverending
>>
>>1132060
nooooooooooo!
>>
>>1132060
I ain't playing no elf, OP
>>
>>1132060
at least Im not the smallest now...
>>
>>1132062
same
I have dignity
>>
>>1132060
Bing Bingie doesnt know how to breathe!
>>
>>1132066
well, I wanted to be small anyways
>>
>>1132066
I think it is because we smoke too much weed...
>>
>>1132066
What did you guys do while i was gone. Dear god
>>
>>1132070
"Didcha hear that? The goblin knows..."
"Of our hidden illusion vent?!"
"Nah, I think he's just accustomed to having hallucinogenic visions"
>>
>>1132074
so is it orcs turn?
>>
>>1132066
jokes on you, i already am an elf
>>
>>1132074
Beep boop.
Ventilation protocols engage. Contaminants in the air messing with sensors
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1132074
via your inner hatred of elves snap out of it
>>
>>1132075
"No, it's his. You're too high to count stats point to realize that he has higher DEX than you"
>>
>>1132082
numbers are still hard when we are not high
>>
How is a roboy high?
>>
>>1132086
Chinese made ventilation systems
>>
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1132082
In any case, the other bandit is going to stab:
1- Clackie
2- Richard
>>
>>1132093
oh no ?
>>
>>1132093
5. themselves
>>
>>1132093
I don't think that scarf is blocking out the illusion gas
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)
>>1132093
Wow a high number, this could only mean:
1. Stab Richard
2. Stab both
>>
>>1132097
oh what
that's mean, a knife can't stab two targets at once, OP
>>
>>1132099
Unless the bandit is dual wielding or just real fast.Or maybe he is powering by drug of delusion.
>>
>>1132099
"Unless that knife...IS ACTUALLY TWO KNIVES"
>>1132096
"How about I block my cock with your mom"
>>
>>1132101
YOU'LL NEVER STAB US
WE'RE TOO FAST
>>
>>1132101
You're probably better off with a cup or something
>>
>>1132101
"Cool knife man, where do you get it?"
>>
>>1132101
Toss shitty daggers at him!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1132103
>>1132105
>>1132107
>>1132109
"SHADDAP, I STAB YOU NOW"
Yellows and Reds, roll 1d6
+4 For him
+4 For Red
+2 For Yellow
-4.20 debuff for red and yellow
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1132112
nigga what the fuck
this is a hallucination
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1132112
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1132112
I don't do maths
>>
>>1132112
ayo das cheating mayne
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1132112
>>
>>1132114
"Yeah, but when you die in the hallucination"
"You die in real life"
"Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooah"
*stab*
Richard has 1 HP left
>>1132114
>>1132115
>>1132116
>>1132117
It's cool, the debuff was a joke.
Because it doesn't matter if it was or not with these rolls, hoho
Except this one though >>1132119
Clackie somehow managed to dodge the blow while being also high
>>
>>1132123
So high the picture went somewhere
>>
>>1132123
you forgot the image
green, we needs heals, we'll draw our shortsword and knife next turn
>>
>>1132123
His neurokinetics are off the charts
>>
>>1132124
AND NOW IT'S YELLOWS turn
YOU CAN:
- Go and do elf things
- Stay and do elf things
- Genuflect
- Resist mind altering drugs
>>
>>1132129
kek
>>
>>1132129
No inputs mean you gonna be genuflectin'
>>
>>1132129
An elf is a good elf, when he realizes he is in fact an elf hating orc.
>>
>>1132133
>>1132134
MANIFEST YOUR WILLPOWER! USE YOUR MONK TRAINING! OVERCOME THE DRUGS!
Roll 1d6
>=5: Yes
<5: no
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1132141
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1132141
I knew we should've been getting our tolerance up with Fib
>>
>>1132142
>>1132143
Fucking amazing. Clackie is stills tuck in his trance state.
AND NOW IT'S GREENs turn
YOU CAN:
- Go and do elf things
- Stay and do elf things
- Genuflect
- Resist mind altering drugs
>>
>>1132150
resist mind altering drugs.
we are attuned to them anyway
>>
>>1132150
We smoke more weed so that we started believe that we are Manlet Rider and wearing our toy belt.
Otherwise we try to Resist the mind drugs.
>>
>>1132150
can we transform yet?
>>
>>1132153
>>1132155
>>1132157
Decisions, decisions. Yes, you can transform. INTO MANLET RIDER G3
So do you stay and be Manlet Rider
Or resist drug?
>>
>>1132163
I say only one thing.... HENSHIN!!!!!!
>>
>>1132163
um.........
manlet rider seems cool
>>
>>1132163
MANLETTU RIDAERUH!
>>
>>1132166
>>1132167
>>1132168
Fib is now stuck inside the trance, thinking himself to be a Goblin Rider.
Now it's BLUEs turn, you can
- Proceed with "Everyday Elf" protocols
- Run genuflect.exe
- Initiate contamination purge
>>
>>1132173
Purge contaminants
>>
>>1132175
Roll 1d6 to purge contaminants
>=3: Yes
<3: no
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1132180
>>
>>1132184
contaminants purged. Bing Bingie will be able to act normally next turn.
>>
>>1132180
every one likes their dreamscape, except us, we are dying with raaaaaaage.
>>
>>1132186
oh shit we lose a turn even when we break the toxins?
>>
>>1132186
AND NOW IT'S REDs turn
YOU CAN:
- Go and do elf things
- Stay and do elf things
- Genuflect
- Resist mind altering drugs
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1132190
resist drugs
>>
>>1132196
Roll 1d6 to resist drugs
You need a 6 to win since you're a lightweight
>>1132188
Yes. THis is the true punishment of Dice God
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1132199
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)
>>1132201
"Than's an apt metaphor for your life right there"
Now he's gonna stab:
1- Clackie
2- Richard
>>
>>1132206
oh fuck
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1132206
Roll 1d6
Since both of you got the same bonus, there's no point in putting them here
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1132209
>>
>>1132212
Damn, where's the other guy
>>
>>1132214
he couldn't handle elves
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1132215
What a shame. Richard is knocked out.
The other bandit aims at:
Well Clackie. Since Richard just got knocked out and aiming at him again would be killing him
Just roll 1d6
+4 him
+2 you
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1132218
>>
>>1132218
really this dice god had his revenge when he kept fucking us
>>
>>1132223
Roll 1d6 to resist drugs, Orcs. With your remaining 2HP
>>
>>1132218
just let us all get captured and tortured elsewhere then we start next thread from the jail
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1132228
>>
>>1132230
shh, there still may be a chance for the golem carry everyone and run back to town
>>
>>1132231
jesus fuck it this entire fucking thread has been low rolls
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1132228
>>
>>1132234
good job mellow
if only I can get out of this rut.
>>
>>1132234
CLACKIE HAS BROKEN FREE!
Now only Fib is left. Can he resist being Manlet Rider?!
>>
>>1132235
We can consult a priest of the Dice God in town after we run away screaming
>>
>>1132237
yeah we have no balls who gives a fuck about our ancestors now.
>>
>>1132236
but... but... it looks so cool..
>>
>>1132236
Manlet Rider cant be hindered by things like hallucinations!
>>
>>1132240
>>1132241
Yes, looks cool, invincible, completely unstoppable. Unhindered by anything. Unlike you in real life. No reason to go back. Stay here. And be cool. Forever.
NO FIB, YOU MUST RESIST
>>
>>1132244
we better just grab everyone and run back to town. Fib isn't looking good.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1132244
I...Must...Resist..
>>
>>1132244
THE SPIRITS, THE SPIRITS CALL ME BACK!
RESIST!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1132244
We must save our friends!!! MANLET KICK the monster who disguise as second in command bandit!!!
>>
>>1132246
>>1132247
ROLL! ROLL!
Roll your dice, gently down the thread
Merrily Merrily Merrily
Just get more than 1
>>
>>1132253
can't we just slap him out of it?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1132253
MANLET KICK!!!!!!!!!!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1132253
ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN
>>
>>1132257
Oh hey you woke up.
Now Bing.
Do something.
>>
>>1132265
get us out of here bing!
>>
>>1132265
Do a Hat-Off with the hatted bandit, no one should contest with our dank hat.
>>
>>1132272
damnit I just want to go to bed
>>
>>1132273
So do I but that's not foreseeable is it?
>>
Haaaaaats
>>
Rolled 395 (1d420)
>>1132272
HAT CHALLENGE
Roll 1d420 to see which hat is more danker
>>
Rolled 285 (1d420)
>>1132283
Music sound fx to make it danker!
>>
Rolled 7 (1d420)
>>1132283
I can totally get this fellas.
>>
>>1132283
I think ops dice are loaded
>>
>>1132286
We had one job...
>>
>>1132286
fuck.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d420)
>>1132283
Do headbands count as hats?
>>
>>1132293
just....how?
>>
>>1132293
no and seeing your roll. Doubly no.
>>
>>1132293
I guess fucking not
>>
>>1132284
Oh no. His hat is indeed
The Dankest.
You have only two options now:
- Run away in shame (escape with party, in shame)
- Stay and get executed for not being ill enough
>>
>>1132283
Our hat is simple comfy...
>>
>>1132297
run
>>
>>1132297
Flee. Use self preservation protocols
>>
Rolled 273 (1d420)
>>1132304
>>
>>1132297
Flee Tomb, pushing the Frozen Tomb Guardian down the flight of stairs on our way out
>>
>>1132297
Take everyone's headgears and try to contest a second time.
>>
>>1132297
Just follow the gang while smoking more weed.
>>
Ya cant hide from me boi. I saw your 17. This means your hat absorbing would backfire, and he'll absorb your hat instead
>>
>>1132313
That wasnt even a bard. He has no name
>>
>>1132313
he's not one of us, he's a fake poster, a foster
>>
Alright, show of hands. Who wants to run away say AYE
WhowantstogettheirhatabsorbedalsosayAYE
>>1132315
Ah, a nameless bard
>>
>>1132313
no we can totally win this. We just need to somehow combine Green's weed hat and my dank hat to become an even danker hat.
>>
>>1132319
running aye
>>
>>1132319
aye
>>
>>1132319
Naye?
>>
>>1132321
sorry AYE to running plox
>>
>>1132313
HAT ABSORB AYE, WE CAN GET IT BACK, AND TAKE GREEN'S HAT AND ABSORB IT TOO. BARDS GET BUFFS FROM HAT BONUSES
>>
>>
>>1132319
Aye but we gonna create large smoke with our weed to create distraction.
>>
>>1132319
Retreat, AYE
>>
>>1132330
we lose when we die, we will die, please i don't want this game to end already. we haven't even gain a level yet.
>>
>>1132337
we'll just reroll another one right?
>>
Green's don't need a hat if they're gonna be a Manlet Rider! That's OP as it is already, what's helping out their fellow man with a Hat Imbued with their ancient druidry (totally not made out of weed, twigs, flowers and dumpster napkins)
>>
>>1132340
but I like my character
>>
That's alot of AYEs. To the running. And hat absorbing.
So the party ran away.
While the Bandit Second-in-Command used his right as the dankest hat owner to absorb Bing-Bingie's hat into his own. Creating an even danker hat.
That's something to look forward to when you try this dungeon again.
>>
>>1132340
RIP Bingie Bing the Bard I guess
>>
>>1132343
revive dick and call it a thread.
>>
>>1132343
I propose we go to a hat store and get us a sweet new hat. Or something else that's blue.
>>
>>1132343
Man. My team went full retarded and one of them is a dirty cheater
>>
>>1132343
Goblin was repeatedly knocked out and violated, Orc was castrated, Richard was raped by an elf for 45 minutes, and Bing lost his hat. Maybe we should've gone with the dragon killing
>>
>>
>>1132349
your own fault for trying to absorb more than you could roll.
>>
>>1132348
don't worry we can get prosthetic balls, like Buddhist balls those big ones and tie them around our penis.
>>
>>1132349
And you cheated, thus fucking us more
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)
BEFORE WE CONTINUE, THIS IS THE PARTY STASH
YOUR CURRENT OPTIONS IN TOWN:
- Go to Healer to revive Richard
- Go to the undertaker and buy coffins for all 4 of you
- Go to a clothing store
- Go to an equipment store
- Spend all your gold on booze and generally be unproductive
And yes, Bing Bingie has lost 1 song. AND THAT SONG IS:
1. Through the fires and flames
2. Ninja Rap
3. Jump Around
4. Ice Ice Baby
>>
>>1132355
fuck it's the best one too. Go to the clothing store!
>>
>>1132355
revive dick and call it a thread continue from there next time
>>
>>1132355
BING BINGBIE has lost ThroughTheFiresAndFlames.mp3. He'll need to claim the bandits hat to get it back.
He also cannot equip a hat until the bandit who absorbed his hat is defeated.
With that in mind, come to a decision of what the party should be doing before we end the first part of this episode
>>
>>1132355
Revive Richard but we go to goblin healer who also smoke weed.
>>
Alright we got 2 votes for healing Richard and 1 for clothing store. Anything else?
>>
>>1132361
Sell the knives and the box and look for a blue scarf to balance the lack of hat
>>
>>1132368
ok going to bed night
>>
>>1132368
reds obviously for revival
>>
>>1132368
Heal the nerd, sell the crappy daggers
>>
>>1132368
4 FOR REVIAL,2 FOR CLOTHING, 2 FOR SELLING SHITTY DAGGERS WHILE DOING THE OTHER TWO
>>
>>1132368
heal vote here too
>>
>>1132379
voting for king
>>
>>1132379
Voting for OP's Hat being added to our inventory
>>
HEALING GOT MORE VOTES, SO NOW THE PARTY GO AND MEET THE HEALER OF THIS TOWN:
Dusk River Stone, farrrrrr out, maaaaan.
"Woah dudes. That ranger is totally out cold, whoah. But it's cool. I know how to heal him"
>>
>>1132394
can you also heal mental trauma
>>
>>1132394
"Cool man! How much for reviving him? By the way do you also got new kind of weeds too?"
>>
>>1132394
”ayooo, how it do my maaan?”
>>
>>1132396
>>1132399
"WOOOOAAAAH DUDES. Im I trippin out or did I just hear your friend inside my head, wooooah. He asked me if I can cure his mental trauma too. And I totes can too, dudes. But it'll cost extra. Alsothenewweedisintheback,knock4timesandaskforJeff"
>>
>>1132403
how much
>>
>>1132405
"WOOOOAH DUDES, it happened again! He asked how much! It's 4 gold by the way, tax included"
>>
>>1132403
Fib quietly walks to the back, knocks 4 times and asks for jeff
>>
>>1132410
Do you accept payment in shitty knives?
>>
>>1132414
"You got 4 shitty knives?"
>>
>>1132424
and this rubber chicken
>>
>>1132424
”What you got for me, Jeff?”
>>
>>1132424
Sure, hand the smelly hippie the knives
>>
>>1132427
>>1132428
>>1132429
"Dude, why does your friend have a rubber chicken hidden in his ass?"
>>
>>1132424
knock off the trauma removal. We'll get by, it's not fun when they don't know it.
>>
>>1132434
Why don't you?
>>
>>1132434
is that one with wheels?
>>
>>1132434
it's gotten roomier after the rape.
>>
>>1132434
why did you headband suddently change colour?
>>
>>1132434
The elf rapist must have possibly jammed up the chicken in Richard's ass.
>>
>>1132439
>>1132440
>>1132441
>>1132446
"Hmm hmmm, yes, I see. Well those matters aside. I'll heal him and his trauma now. since you already paid"
>>
>>1132449
Speaking of which, could you teach that trick to our lil' pocket druid over there?
(I've got to head off for at least 20 minutes, hopefully some lurker will take my place)
>>
>>1132449
I think we must level up before we can learn that tricks.
And also enjoy our new weeds.
>>
>>1132450
"Well it's simple. First. You need a massive blunt"
>>
>>1132455
Massive blunt????!!!! We must learn it!!!!
>>
>>1132462
"Then, you take the blunt...And smoke it"
>>
>>1132463
Ok we make massive blunt and smoke it? Let do it!
>>
>>1132463
"After that you go get this secret list of healing herbs..and ..roll them into another joint"
>>
>>1132469
"THEN you take THAT blunt and.....shove it in the patient's ass"
>>
>>1132472
"And finally, you light it. The ranger's body will absorb in the healing vapors and it'll work out from there"
>>
>>1132477
I see! Your wisdom is always awesome man!!!
>>
>>1132477
mesmerizing
>>
>>1132483
>>1132484
42.0 MINUTES LATER
"See, your friend is now good as new. Completely healed and cured of his trauma.....of when he choked on a piece of potato back when he was young. Ranger dude is no longer afraid of potatoes! Far out man!"
>>
>>1132492
Am i the only one that is slightly afraid of our druid friend now that his headband changed into those filthy Desert Bandit Murder-Rapists' flag?
>>
>>1132492
Cool man! You are awesome guy!!!! Now he don't need to remember of elf rape.... no wait!!! It was potato rape!!!
Need to smoke more blunt man...
>>
>>1132501
"I'm merely coping with loss. Anyway dudes. Your friend is healed and we're done here. See ya next time, dudes. And remember to keep your head high. In more ways than one, hehe"
And this is where we'll take a break now
updates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
We'll continue in a day or two if the thread's still here. See ya.
>>
>>1132511
Thank for running man.
>>
>>1132511
thanks for bread
>>
>>1132511
good bread
>>
>>1132511
too soon
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