Thread replies: 79
Thread images: 19
Thread images: 19
>Welcome to Dark Ages Adventure, a tale of Heroes, Peasants, Religion, Feces, and Dubious Historical Accuracy
>All commands that aren't blatantly retarded will be used.
>At certain points (mostly at the beginning), command suggestions will be provided but do not need to be followed.
>Don't be afraid to ask questions about how things work. I'm kinda playing this by ear.
>Have fun!
You are an IMPRISONED SADMAN. As your name implies, you are currently IMPRISONED within a PRISON. You are SAD about the previous fact. You have been in here for an INEXACT but PROBABLY VERY LARGE amount of TIME.
Mayhap you should try to escape today or something. What will you do first?
Suggestions:
>Examine Yourself
>Examine Surroundings
>Open MENU
>>
*reflect on the reason for your imprisonment
>>
Reflect briefly on the crimes that have led to your imprisonment. Do you really deserve to escape?
>>
are we rolling for things or naaaaah
examine surroundings time for revolucion
>>
Take a shit on the floor.
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>>11236
This, or if not possible examine self
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>>11216
Masturbate with ye ol' creamy indulgences
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>>11216
Get bread
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>>11236
>>11238
>Reflect on the reason for your imprisonment.
Ah yes, that. Well, it's pretty embarrassing, to say the least.
You have particular... talents. A.. set of skills. And a... mindset, if you will, that are quite frowned upon within the highly religious and ignorant Dark Age setting that you have been unfortunately born into.
Yes, that's right. You're literate. You can read and write. This is considered suspicious and highly dangerous for anyone who isn't a PRIEST or a ROYAL, and you are neither. Fancy words have the power to alter minds, after all, and that type of power being held in the hands of common rabble such as yourself is too much of a risk to allow you to exist within society.
Personally, you think that's retarded. But hey, you're just a stinky sad prisoner, what's your opinion worth?
>>11240
>Are we rolling for things or naaaah
Naaaaah
>Examine surroundings.
As has been previously established, you are in a prison cell. The walls and ceiling are solid cobblestone and the floor is dirt. On one wall is an old but sturdy WOODEN DOOR that prevents you from entering the HALLWAY and potentially escaping your PRISON. A SLOT is carved into the bottom so that food and potentially other objects can be passed back and forth without opening the door. On another wall is a BARRED WINDOW that is allowing the early-morning sun to seep into your gloomy abode. In front of the aforementioned door is a WOOD PLATTER containing a single piece of PRISON BREAD. The poorly-drawn grey box on the floor is the STONE SLAB that serves as your BED. Finally, there is a crude WOODEN DESK and a CHAIR in one corner. Humble surroundings, but you keep things tidy and are content....
Oh who are you kidding, your life is shit. You need to get out of here as soon as possible!
>>11264
>Examine self
You are wearing PRISONER’S RAGS that cover your torso and PRISONER’S TROUSERS that cover the upper portions of your legs. You have no other clothes. You have no equipped weapon or items, nor do you have any STORAGE SPACE to carry items in. Furthermore, you are a RATHER LEAN FELLOW, mostly due to being deprived of proper nutrition during your long imprisonment. Your face is ROGUISHLY HANDSOME (some may even describe it as HANDSOMELY ROGUISH), you are in possession of a SCRAGGLY BEARD, and your hair is QUITE LONGISH from the lengthy time you have gone without a proper shave and a haircut.
>>
>>11282
break the chair and hide weapon in beard!
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>>11282
Search desk drawer.
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>>11269
>Get bread
You stroll over to the door and pick up your morning ration. The TURNKEY must have slid this under the door before you woke up a short while ago. The PRISON BREAD is distinguished, of course, from normal BREAD in that it is incredibly disgusting, cheaply made, and possibly contains maggots. Nevertheless, you are quite hungry, and it is (probably) still food.
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>>11282
Break the desk and chair down into pieces of wood
>>
*aquire wood platter
*look through slot
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>>11294
>>11313
>Break the desk and chair.
Even as crudely-made as the furniture is, your STRENGTH is too low to break them with your wimpy little noodle-arms!
>Search desk drawer
You try to slide open the drawer, but it gets stuck. You try again, using every last ounce of your mostly-fictional STRENGTH
.
It slides open. The inside of the drawer is packed almost to bursting with PAPERS, some containing the ENTERTAINING and HUMOROUS TALES OF ADVENTURE AND WHIMSY that you write for the Turnkey.
Ironically, your skill with writing, which got you into this prison in the first place, is also the only thing keeping you alive. As long as you continue to write and read stories to entertain the TURNKEY, he'll continue to put off your long-overdue execution date.
Although you need to keep writing new stories for the TURNKEY, you like to save the old ones because they’re pretty good for wiping your butt with.
The TURNKEY also keeps you well-supplied in terms of BLANK PAPER and CHARCOAL for you to write out your TALES OF BLAH BLAH WHATEVER with. As it so happens, your current writing utensil, a piece of CHARCOAL is nothing more than the barest sliver of a stump right now. It’s not much good for writing with. Perhaps you should request a new one when you get a chance.
>>
>>11310
Use the bread to try to befriend a mouse.
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>>11331
look out the barred window
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>>11331
Sit down and rest
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>>11331
Look through the barred Window
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>>11331
Wad papers up and stuff them in the food slot. Find some way to start a fire.
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>>11325
>Acquire wood platter
You put the prison bread back down on the floor and pick up the platter instead.
>Look through slot.
You can't see jack shit, except the door on the other side of the hallway. You're pretty sure that CELL is empty, though.
You can hear something approaching from down the hall.
>>11334
You ate all the MICE in this prison long ago. If there are any left, they're too scared to come anywhere near your cell.
>>
>>11363
>(probably should have made it more clear, those are two separate images. The top half is the first action, the bottom half is the second action)
>>11344
>>11347
>Look out the barred window.
You head over to the WINDOW and stand on your bare tiptoes to peek out between the metal BARS. You glance out at the fields surrounding the PRISON. It is somewhat isolated from any populated areas, but you can see the rooftops of a small VILLAGE OVER YONDER. Besides that, it’s just sparsely scattered FARMLANDS as far as the eye can see. You cannot see any people, as the sun has just risen and all but the most industrious workers are still rubbing that sleepy crusty junk out of their eyes, eating a breakfast that is surely better than your PRISON BREAD, and getting ready to start their day. Truly, this is a magical time, these sparse moments of peace in the morning sun before another day of work and play begins.
“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”
-Cicero
You are more determined than ever before to make the most of this new morning and escape your wrongful imprisonment.
Also, you notice that the METAL these bars are made of is quite ROUGH, almost like a GRINDSTONE. It could probably be used in a pinch to sharpen METAL, STONE, CHARCOAL, or some other heavy-handed suggestion such as that
.
>>11348
Wad papers up and stuff them in the food slot. Find some way to start a fire.
You grab a handful of your story papers and shove them in the food slot.
You calculate your chances of finding a fire source to be BASICALLY ZERO.
>>11346
Sit down and rest.
You sit down in your chair. You are not very comfortable.
_______
The noises from the hallway are getting closer. From the disgusting pig-like grunting and heavy wheezing noises that accompany the footsteps, you are almost certain that it is the TURNKEY approaching.
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>>11389
pretend to be writing so TURKNEY doesnt beat that ass
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>>11389
find a loose stone in the wall and sharpen it with the bars.
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>>11389
use CHARCOAL on BARS
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>>11402
>Pretend to be writing to appease the Turnkey.
The Turnkey (TT) stops in front of your (IS) door.
TT: Mornin', Prisoner.
IS: Morning, Turnkey. How goes the key-turning today?
TT: Same old, same old. You working on tonight's story?
IS: Uh... s-sure am! It's going to be a rip-snorter!
TT: Cool, cool. Anyway, I've come to collect your breakfast platter. Pass it under the door, will ya?
___
Since you're already holding the platter and you can't think of many uses for it anyway, you push the platter through the DOOR SLOT. Doing so also pushes the WAD OF PAPERS out into the hallway.
___
TT: Uh.. what's with all the papers?
IS: Oh? Those? How did those get there? Must have been the wind, hahahaha!
TT: ...Whatever.
The Turnkey walks away.
Well, that could have gone better. Your socializing skills have really deteriorated over your stay in this dump. Thankfully the Turnkey isn't the sharpest tool in the torture chamber.
>>
>>11447
Yell back at him, ask him for more charcoal
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>>11424
>Find a loose stone in the wall and sharpen it with the bars.
Good idea, but no dice. You've been over every square inch of your sell, and haven't found any pieces that are loose enough to remove.
>>11430
You carefully, with great care, begin to whittle down your already whittled-down bit of CHARCOAL on the METAL BARS. After several minutes of this whittling, your stub of CHARCOAL becomes a CHARCOAL NEEDLE! Don’t get me wrong, it’s still absolutely terrible as a weapon and is so brittle that it will break if you sneeze on it too hard, but in this form, it may actually be able to draw blood (maybe)! Clearly a direct upgrade!
Your WEAPON-FORGING skill increases by 1.
>>11460
>Yell back at the Turnkey, ask him for more charcoal.
IS: Hey, Turnkey! You still there?!
TT: Yeah, what's the matter?
IS: I need a fresh piece of charcoal to finish this story!
TT: You got it. I'll bring it with me my next time around.
>>11465
You already have the window bars for all your charcoal-sharpening needs!
Okay, you've made some progress. Now let's take stock.
Physically, you're really weak. You have a CHARCOAL NEEDLE that you could potentially fight with, but it's extremely brittle and unreliable.
To have a chance of escaping, you need to find some way of getting the Turnkey to open the door and enter your cell.
He's bringing you some charcoal, which might be a good opportunity but as it stands right now, he will just pass it through the DOOR SLOT, and won't need to open the door to give it to you. If you want him to open the door, you'll need to impede his ability to use the SLOT.
Alternatively, you could give him another reason to want to open the door. In the past, the only times he's opened the door are if he's cruising to give you a bruising.
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>>11485
Hide the charcoal needle in the desk, begin thinking of an absolutely heartwrenching story in the form of a biographical story
>(can I say something like that? Not sure if it's too much, very new to these things)
>>
>>11485
Hide the needle and tell the turnkey you're writing about him today.
>>
>>
>>11573
Something so insulting he comes in to try and beat us up?
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>>11605
I think we should try to charm him into coming in to the cell, but that's also an option. We're too weak to fight him off currently though
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>>11515
>>11564
>>11573
>Hide the charcoal needle in the desk.
'Kay.
>Begin thinking of a heartwrenching story about the Turnkey.
Huh. That might be pretty difficult. You don't really know much about the guy, besides the fact that he thinks his job is boring when he doesn't have an excuse to beat up the prisoners.
He's pretty much just a big fat stupid oaf who smells like poop. It will be hard to think of a way to paint him in a sympathetic light, but you guess you'll do your best.
You could go on FOREVER insulting him, however. The amount of shit you could fling at every aspect of that asshole would be longer than the Bible.
You can hear the Turnkey coming back with your fresh charcoal, so you can finish the story that he thinks you've been writing.
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>>11637
Ask him if he would like to own a book about his own life. A biography, for free.
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>>11646
No not for free. Ask him to get us feathers, ink and a small knife to sharpen the feathers so we can write faster.
Then use said knife to get sparks on the prison bars to light your papers on fire.
Stuff the dooe with paper and light it up.
Throw ink snd feathers at fatso when he enters and then make a run for it.
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>>11637
Make some experimental music to pass time using your hands and the desk
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>>11819
>Make some experimental music to pass time using your hands and the desk.
>
>>11646
>>11772
>Barter with the turnkey for a book about his life.
Considering the fact that the Turnkey is ILLITERATE, and also considering the fact that you're already receiving "payment" for your writing by virtue of being kept alive, you doubt this plan will work.
It might just be better to take your chances with luring the Turnkey into your sell.
Speaking of the devil, he's at your door now. He passes the fresh piece of CHARCOAL through the DOOR SLOT.
TT: There ya go. When do you think the story's gonna be ready?
How do you respond?
Suggestions:
>Remain silent
>Insult the turnkey
>Say that you'll be done soon, maybe around lunchtime
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>>11965
>Say that you'll be done soon, maybe around lunchtime
>>
>>11965
Great, now hes going to get a 10/10 BNM from Pitchfork and get spammed on /mu/
Also insult the damn turkey
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>>11965
tell the turnkey that you turned his mothers key
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>>11965
Say you'll be done soon, create a somewhat sympathetic story about the turnkey but one where he is obviously the most stupid, idiotic shit-smelling turnkey around
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>Die of old age.
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>>12080
>>16584
IS: Oh, it'll be done soon! Real soon. I got it done really fast...
>>12090
>>12197
IS: Almost as fast as I turned your mother's key last night!
TT: WHAT?
IS: That's right, you big galoot! I've had it up to HERE with this prison, and especially dealing with you, you stupid, idiotic, shit-smelling-
The TURNKEY opens the door.
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>>18763
Run away nigger
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>>17081
>Die of old age.
No, you're pretty sure you're about to die from something else.
You have only the splittest of split seconds to decide on an action. What do you do?!
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>>18854
Kick him in the balls, hit his eye and snap his neck
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>>18797
>Run away.
>>18877
Kick him in the balls, hit his eye and snap his neck.
Oh wait, I was wrong. You didn't have a split second. You had absolutely no time at all. The TURNKEY is quicker than he looks and SNAGS you by the leg.
This is gonna hurt.
(second image incoming)
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>>18959
The TURNKEY lifts you in the air like a sack of potatoes, then slams you down onto your DESK headfirst! The force generated by your skull is enough to smash the poorly-made furniture in half.
PAPERS, SPLINTERED WOOD, and the CHARCOAL NEEDLE scatter in every direction.
You might have a bit of time to react now before the Turnkey attacks you again. Better make it count!
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>>19040
remember a spell from your forbidden reading long ago and use the splintered wood to draw blood from your wrist to provide a blood sacrifice for the spell.
>>
>>
>>19055kamehameha
>>
Or you could use the charcoal splinter to draw blood since I'm sure charcoal is auspicious than wood for magic-purposes
>>
Wait do we have enough time to do all that?
>>
Wait do we have enough time to do all that?
>>
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>>19151
Well, we were frail and our main skill was intelligence. We could have either been a clever rogue or a wizard. When peril calls, wizard it becomes.
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>>19266
NOW RUN NIGGER RUNNNN
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>>19288
make sure to grab the needle before you run, you can use it to stitch up your bleeding wound later
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>>19266
Grab the keys and let everyone else out.
Just for yucks.
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>>19266
Take his hat
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>>19266
You have defeated the TURNKEY.
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>>19413
examine turnkey
take keys
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loot the turnkey for valuables (such as proper pants with pockets for carrying stuff) and take the paper, charcoal, wood splinters, etc. AND RUNNN
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>>19413
Ask if he is ok
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>>19427
but don't let out anyone (as they'd probably kill you). Instead, use the prison bars to sharpen the keys to use as weapons if necessary.
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>>19435
Better yet take all his shit, dress him in your clothes, and then lock him in there and pretend you've always been the turn key.
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>>19427
>>19442
>examine Turnkey
He's dead, Jim.
>>19288
>>19295
>>19435
>Run!
No need. The TURNKEY was the only guard in this prison, as far as you're aware. There shouldn't be any more opposition on your way out.
>Loot the Turnkey, grab paper, charcoal, wood splinters, etc.
Everything that was on him besides his KEYS and (somehow) his HAT have been burned to a crisp. Maybe a less overly-destructive approach would be better if you plan on looting your slain foes in the future.
You grab the TURNKEY's KEYS. We'll see who TURNS the KEYS around here now, buster!
...You realize that due to your continued lack of STORAGE SPACE, you cannot carry both the CHARCOAL NEEDLE and the KEYRING. To say nothing of carrying any PAPERS or WOOD SPLINTERS.
This is going to be annoying, isn't it?
For now, you decide to take the KEYS and leave the CHARCOAL NEEDLE behind.
LEVEL UP!
I.S. has advanced to LEVEL 2!
Title changed from IMPRISONED SADMAN to INITIATED SORCERER!
HP, INT, RES, and LUC have all increased by one!
STR, SPD, and DEF remain unchanged.
(Second image incoming)
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>>19468
Take the hat. Wear it. Store your magic splinters and whatnot inside it
>>
Go to the village over yonder and see if you can exchange your services (intelligence, magic ability, etc.) to get some food and maybe shelter depending on whether or not you can see any more points of interest.
Also, get some proper pants to carry shit.
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>>19468
UGH YOU FORGOT TO SHARPEN THE KEEYS
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>>19485
>>19387
>Take his hat.
You equip the TURNKEY'S HAT
>Store wood splinters inside.
Unfortunately, this piece of equipment does not provide any STORAGE SPACE.
>Take a shit on the floor.
You've been holding this one in for a while now.
You take a shit on the TURNKEY.
END OF ACT 1
Thank you all so much for your interest in this quest. I'll pick this back up later, as we follow I.S. out of the prison and into the strange, historically-dubious Dark Age World!
The remainder of the commands that I didn't get to this time around will be considered/used in the first couple of updates of Act 2, so don't get salty.
>>
good shit
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>>19541
Don't forget to free some of the other prisoners on your way out.
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>>19943
Nah they might kill you. Although, it might be nice to have a little group thing going on.
>>
Thanks OP
That was fun.
Thread posts: 79
Thread images: 19
Thread images: 19