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/qst/ Adventure Thing, part 2 2017-02-02 06:12:58 Post No.
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/qst/ Adventure Thing, part 2 2017-02-02 06:12:58 Post No.
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Oh shit nigger it's a /qst/ adventure thing. That I'm pretty sure I saw someone did before and I'm ripping them off but I can't remember the name so I can't credit them. Yea.
4 persons form an adventuring party in a nondescript generic fantasy land.
Each chacacter needs at least 1 player to be the voices in their head to tell them what to do n shit.
Just give yourself a name with the character's team color to identify which person you belong to. Ex: "Red Faggot"
Currently the party is exploring an ancient tomb that turned out to be a secret bandit base. Now they need to defeat the bandits so they can get what they were looking for: phat loot.
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
Ayyy
>>
>>1118581
Lez do this
>>
>>1118581
put me in boss
>>
It seems that Richard the Human Ranger, Bing Bingie the Golem Bard and Clackie Chan the Orc Monk just noticed they're surrounded by 8 bandits.
While Fib Smogee the Goblin Druid still stares empty eyed into space.
Probably due to all the weed he smoked
>>
>>1118581
Reporting in
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1118597
Fire and Flames. Time to boost muh niggaz
>>
>>1118597
DICK GOES FOR THE AMBUSH ROLL
>>
>>1118597
orc punch when ready
>>
>>1118599
Oh wait no there he is.
SO, OPTIONS:
- Stay and fight 8 bandits in drawn out battle
- Seperate and lure bandits into solo 1v1 fights
- Run back upstairs
- Genuflect
>>
>>1118611
Does Bing have any attacks?
>>
Dick could try pulling the good ol'
"I've captured some prisoners!" routine if he wears his scarf like the bandits
>>
>>1118611
take one on one. safer dis way.
>>
>>1118614
Yes:
- Lute Smack: has chance to break lute
- Punch: being a golem bard, this punch is actually weaker than most golem punches, but it's something
>>1118618
>>1118619
All options, the party should discuss among themselves
>>
>>1118622
discuss taking one on one, so we can gain some exp
>>
>>
>>1118625
I'll counter (Though hopefully in game, right in front of the bandits) with some stupid scheme to let us get some sneak attacks in first
>>
>>1118632
I'm up for full blast, too
>>
While the party discuss things, THE BANDITS...stand there and look at them. As they cannot act until the party do something.
Darn those pesky turn-based game rules
>>
>>1118622
FIIIIGHT ALL EEEIGHT IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE
>>
>>1118639
Clackie Chan reporting in
>>
>>
>>1118639
Bing Bingie Cranks up the toons and goes for deafening his foes
>>
>>1118639
ALRIGHT
RED RANGER IS HERE
WE STAY AND FIGHT YOU PUSSIES
>>
>>
>>1118652
A 1v1 fight with 1 end doesn't sound like good odds for the cowardly stoner
>>
>>1118657
And the fact that each bandit has 2 HP
>>
>>1118654
FIGHT DEM PUSSIES I'D SAY
>>
>>1118660
Giving Dick rather low odds as well, assuming he fights his even share.
>>
Dividing will not conquer. We set up a trap and blitz them.
>>
>>1118667
ARE YOU DIRE TO IMPLY THAT WE ARE NOT CREDIT TO THE TEAM, YOU MANLEN
>>
>>1118673
Credits to the team work best when in a team! Don't hit me!
>>
>>
Some form of a plan is being made. Probably, I hope.
>>
>>1118679
STAND UP AND FIGHT YA WUSS
>>
>>1118680
Alright. I say we divide up so we can 1v1 them.
>>
>>1118679
Bing cannot fight them effectively. We are a support unit
>>
>>1118689
How about we split up into groups of two? Dick and Fib, Clacks and Bing
>>
>>1118693
Sure. But Bing and Clackie both have more health than Dick and Fig put together.
>>
>>1118698
And Fib is the only one which can heal the low HP of Richard, assuming he hides and behind and doesnt get hit himself
>>
>>1118696
Depends on how the bandits decide to pursue you.
It'll be a roll.
>>
>>1118698
If Bing could learn a healing song, we'd be able to do that.
>>
>>1118707
Well. We dont have one right now. So we gotta work with that
>>
>>1118696
Sounds good too me
>>
LET ME SHOOT ALREADY AT SOMETHING
>>
>>1118710
How about Fib hiding behind Clacks, and Richard shooting arrows from behind Meat Shield Bing?
>>
Alright alright. Clacka and Bing team up and Fib and Dick team up amd split the enemy
>>
>>1118716
This will work better. Yes.
Especially since Clackie gets hit more often it seems.
>>
>>1118723
SPLIT AND SHOOT
SPLIT AND SHOOT
I'm here for the rolls
>>
>>1118723
So we all agree to go with this plan?
>>
>>1118732
Y
PLAN OF JUSTICE
>>
>>1118732
WE AS RED AGREE
>>
>>1118732
K
Dont die, green amd res
>>
>>1118732
>One damage one support
Looks good to me
>>
>>1118732
I'm a little more partial to my second combo idea, but I'll roll with it for fights sake
>>
>>1118735
tho considering we are with manlet, we'll probably die horribly
>>
>>1118743
But at least you won't die horribly alone!
>>
Blue Player Reporting!
>>
>>1118748
we can always throw you at the enemies as distraction
>>
>>1118752
It should be like throwing a smoke bomb
>>
>>1118732
>Str vs Dex
I see now that things will finally get decided. Also, yes.
>>
>>1118754
the plan sounds better post by post
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
AND SO THE PARTY SPLITS UP!
"Oh shit they're getting away! Through those convenient corridors that we somehow didn't notice before!"
"AFTER THEM!"
And the bandits went after the party by: (I'm rolling for this)
6 - Severely underestimating them and only send 1 bandit after each group. The other 6 stayed back and play poker or something
5 - Sending 2 after the golem and orc and only 1 after the human and goblin, reasoning that hey're squishier
4 - Send 2 after each group
3 - Send 3 after the golem and orc while 2 go after the human and goiblin
2 - Send 3 after each group
1 - Send 4 after each group
>>
>>1118767
so uh... we wait for next post right?
>>
>>1118767
That should be perfectly managable
>>
>>1118767
Aw shit, here we go
>>
>>1118767
we can actually win this, noice
>>
>>1118767
Sounds good
>>
>>1118767
I meant we took on one by one but this plan better
>>
>>1118767
And so the plan is in action and the battles are commencing.
TUTORIAL FAIRY SEZ: DID YOU KNOW ABOUT HOW COMBAT WORKS? DO YOU NEED A REFRESHER? Y/N
>>
>>1118794
No, but do these bandits have the same stats as the ones we fought before?
>>
>>
>>1118794
I'm good
what about you guys
>>
>>
>>1118794
N
I mean
>>
Im ok
>>
>>1118797
Yes, YE OLDE SHITTY BANDIT
They all have the same stats.
The ones not carrying knives just have a different attack style
>>
AND NOW, THE BATTLE
First, is this the correct formation you're going with?
>>
>>
>>1118812
Looks good to me. Can bandit one shiv me with that spear?
>>
>>1118812
as much I want to put manlet in front just for shit and giggles
Y
>>
>>1118812
We agree
>>
>>1118814
Yes, the spear can attack back rows if he happens to roll your number.
But surely if you're knocked out Richard will keep you safe until a healer is found. Or use one of the reaming revival items in the party stash
>>
>>1118812
Thats fine. We both have good hp
>>
>>1118812
do dis! FUCK EM UP FUCK EEEEEEMMMMMMM UUUUUUUPPPPPPP
>>
>>1118819
Reaming revival items? I'm not sure I like the sound of that method
>>
>>1118825
They are suppositories!
>>
>>1118825
it's a suppository
>>
>>1118828
A HUMAN sized suppository
>>
ANYWAY, HERE BE THE TURN ORDER
BLUE AND YELLOW GROUP:
Clackie ->Bandit 1 -> Bandit 2 -> Bandit 3 -> Bing
RED AND GREEN GROUP:
Richard -> Fib -> Bandit 1 -> Bandit 2
First order of business:
What will Clackie do?
Will Richard use his ambush skill to make a free attack using both his STR and DEX?
>>1118825
Yes, it was meant to be a typo, but then it's funnier if it's not.
>>
>>1118834
>Will Richard use his ambush skill to make a free attack using both his STR and DEX?
yes we do
on bandit 1, cause he has spear therefore he is different
>>
>>1118834
oh shit, Clackie will orc punch
right fellow yellows?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1118838
While B n Y is strategizing, let's take this time for REDs to roll 1d6 for ambush
>>
>>1118834
WE AMBUSH
ON THE SPEAR WIELDING NIGGA
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1118844
LIVE BY THE DICK
DIE BY THE DICK
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1118844
thank you dice god for not disappointing
>>
Rolled 4, 5 = 9 (2d6)
>>1118848
Attempting to use ambush attack on Bandit number 1
REDs roll 1d6
YELLOW roll 1d6 and choose a punch target from Bandit 1 or 2 on your side
Reds will contend with First dice while Yellows the Second
Reds get +5
Yellows get +3
Red side bandit gets a +2
Yellow side gets a +1
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1118857
EAT THIS DICK, BANDIT
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1118857
common baby yeah!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1118857
GO GO DICE ROLLING RANGERS
>>
>>1118857
yellow orc help!
>>
IS THERE NO MORE YELLO RROLLS?
>>
>>1118865
BECOME the yellow roll
>>
>>1118865
I swear my fellow yellows love leaving me in suspense
>>
>>1118869
Orcs are best at that.
>>
Im gonna be going to bed soon. Good luck blues
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)
CLACKIE CHAN MISSES! RICHARD HITS!
Spear bandit has 1 HP left
Having using ambush, Richard can now attack right again. Choose what you're gonna do, REDs.
While on the Blue and Yellow side, Bandit 1 chooses his target:
1-Clackie
2-Bing
>>
>>1118874
ATTACK THE SPEAR GUY CAUSE FUCK SPEARS
>>
>>1118874
FUCK THAT SPEAR NIGGA UP
>>
>>1118874
bing you think you guys can do ninja rap on us yellows or you attacking?
>>
Rolled 6, 6 = 12 (2d6)
>>1118876
>>1118877
YELLOWs and REDs, roll 1d6
Yellow contends with first dice while Red the second
Red gets a +3
Yellow gets a +2
Both bandits gets a +2
>>
>>1118882
I think Blue Hat might've been the only Blue around
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1118883
fuuuuck dice god I need you
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1118883
DIE BY THE DICK NIGGA
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1118883
dice god - still a dick
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1118885
>>1118886
CLACKIE HAS 2 HP LEFT
WHILE RICHARD DEFEATS A BANDIT
NOW BANDIT 2 on BLUE AND YELLOW IS ATTACKING. USING HIS SWORD HE SWINGS AT BOTH OF THE ORC AND GOLEM
BLUE AND YELLOW ROLL 1d6
Blue gets +1
Yellow gets +2
Bandit gets +2
WHILE ON THE OTHER SIDE, WHAT WILL FIB DO?
>>
>>1118893
JUSTICE PREVAILS
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1118893
>>
>>1118893
GET DICKED
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1118893
>>
>>1118893
I think my transform skill is still up and I don't want to risk moving forward and getting hit...so, can I wreath Richard in smoke or something with a big old exhale?
>>
>>1118900
Yeah sure, while it ups his DEX by 1 since it'll make people harder to see him.
He also has a chance to accidentally inhaling the smoke, and being a lightweight weed smoker unlike you, will be too high to function and miss a turn
>>
>>1118902
actually
can we train ourselves to have tolerance of the weed by doing it outside of battles?
>>
>>1118906
Fib will start using Share Weed and obtain a StonerBro, if so
>>
>>1118893
wait a minute op, maybe I do need some reunderstanding because our strength should be sing us our boost right? shouldn't that effect our defence as well?
>>
>>1118902
But given the odds on missing his turn, I'll just smoke behind him and be useless
>>
>>1118910
giving*
>>
>>1118911
we didn't expected much from you anyway
>>
>>1118910
I think folks using daggers and ranged weapons use their DEX to attack as well as dodge, but have a lower END. People using STR rely on that to attack and can't dodge as well, but have a higher END for it.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d3)
>>1118895
>>1118897
MEANWHILE BOTH BING AND CLACKIE GETS HIT
CLACKIE ONLY HAS 1 HP LEFT!
BING HAS 3!
NOW BANDIT 3 IS...THROWING A ROCK AT THEM!
AND HE AIMS AT:
1- Clackie
2- Bing
3- Accidentally threw too far and hit the back row where nobody is in there
>>1118906
Sure, but because that's Fib's shtick and you being a lightweight. It'll take some time
>>1118910
Bandits use DEX to attack, which is why you use your DEX to defend against them
Conversely, you use STR to attack which is why they have to use their STR instead. Explains the +1 when you tried to punch him
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1118918
fuuuuuuuuuuuck aren't there any other Blues yet? I don't wanna die.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1118918
Time to save the day
>>
>>1118920
:'(
>>
>>1118918
nice been knowing ya, blue and yellow
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1118920
>>1118921
AND NOW, BLUEs, ROLL 1d6 to defend self against THROWN ROCK
You get a +1
He gets a +2
WHILE GREEN...what are you doing exactly?
>>
Rolled 5 + 1 (1d6 + 1)
>>1118925
>>
>>1118925
Trying to light another joint with flint (Pass Turn, don't want to risk Richard losing one until he gets a slight bit of tolerance)
>>
>>1118926
nice one
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1118925
oops
>>
>>1118918
then why did we get only plus 3 when our str is 5? I'm sorry for being a retarded orc here.
>>
>>1118933
I think your STR reset back to its base 3 after that Tomb Guard fight ended and you lost the buffs
>>
>>1118937
oh of course
>>
>>1118939
I'm dumb sorry op
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1118926
The bandit managed to miss Bing. A huge golem. Standing still. In a narrow corridor.
Now IT's BING's turn!
He can:
- Play "Ice Ice baby" (attempt to Freeze a bandit)
- Play "Ninja Rap" (attempt to cloak party, granting 1 free dodge)
- Play "Jump around" (attempt to raise DEX of one party member)
- Play "Through the fires and flames" (attempt to raise all stats of all members by one and add Fire to their weapons)
- Lute Smack: has chance to break lute
- Punch: being a golem bard, this punch is actually weaker than most golem punches, but it's something
While Fib smoked some weed to pass the time. The remaining bandit charges at Richard!
Roll 1d6, Reds.
You get +3
He gets +2
>>1118933
What this guy said >>1118937 Those buff were battle only
>>
>>1118945
>- Play "Through the fires and flames" (attempt to raise all stats of all members by one and add Fire to their weapons)
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1118945
BITCH ASS NIGGA
YOU AIN'T SHANKING US
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1118945
ez
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1118947
Roll 1d6
>>1118948
DODGED
NOw it's your turn
>>
>>1118961
SHOOT THIS BANDIT WITH ARROWS
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1118961
>>
>humans are most competent ones as always
>>
>>1118965
well we fucked
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1118965
BING ATTEMPTED TO PLAY THROUGH THE FIRE AND FLAMES
But it came out like this instead https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlYe_g0BkGY
Now it's Clackies turn! Perhaps he could peruse the Party's Stash for any helpful items
>>1118963
Reds, roll 1d6
+3 for you
+2 for him
>>
We shoulda stayed with the orc.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1118976
LIVE BY THE DICK
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1118976
we need to kill that fucker to try and rescue those failures
>>
>>1118977
I'm sure Bing can haul his unconscious body around
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1118976
time for my special ability
"hanging on by a thread no holds bar fuck it all attaaaaaaaaaaack" orc punch!
>>
>>1118981
O shit hello green friendo, I'm joining
>>
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1118978
1 HP left, what will Fib do now?
>>1118982
Since you already rolled. Bandit will now attempt to dodge
You get a +3
He gets a +1
Oh wait
>>
>>
>>1118990
FIB
GO FOR THE SHANK
HE'S 1 HP
>>
>>1118989
Attack things, are you insane Mr. Dickface? Stabbing things makes them angry. Angry things are scary.
>a spear might be nice, yeah.
>>
>>1118990
Now I wish there was critical hits in this game. Oh the favoritism.
>>
>>1118993
I like the way this Red thinks
>>
>>1118990
Desperate Punch knocks Sword Bandit to 1HP and to the back row! He'll ave to waste a turn running up front!
>>
>>1118990
Distract the bandit by blowing sweet smoke rings.
>>
>>1119003
har har. just as good!
>>
>>1119003
Whoops, forgot to kill the spear guy
>>
>>1119003
can manlet run from battle to aid other party while we finishing off last bandit?
>>
>>1119004
Blowing smoke rings at the bandit works too, if it takes a turn to move up
>>
>>1119008
hope red and green can get here soon we needs you guys
>>
>>1119012
that last nigga has 1 hp left, will be there next turn, will see if manlet can arrive earlier
>>
>>1119017
awesome he does have run like a bitch
>>
>>1119009
Yeah
>>
>>
>>1119019
Let's run like a bitch then Clackie needs our lovin licks.
>>
>>1119019
can red and green meet up on the other side of the bandits and be sandwich betwee n us giving us all a boost?
>>
>>1119022
Yeah, since that's how the corridor works.
But generally I would advise against putting the goblin up front and near the bandits, even if it's from behind
>>
>>1119022
I imagine the three bandits waiting in the middle area between our two hallways would chase US, meaning it's an odd, backwards sandwich that goes Turkey, bread, turkey, bread
>>
>>1119026
ah there in lies the rub
>>
>>1119027
Yeah, that too
>>
>>1119026
I also dont think its a good idea to run and help alone, leaving the Goblin smooshed between 3 bandits on each side.
>>
>>1119034
"Poor little Gobbo" - the porn movie
>>
>>1119027
damn and animal mode would be wasted if you flew over here to save us
>>
>>1119026
Nah, we just gonna circle around, get behind Clackie and Bing. Because Fib knows to stay behind the meat-walls. And the corridor is probably a circle, right? Right?
>>
>>1119038
I think it's still on a daily cooldown from the first use, sadly. If it wasn't, bear mode would be useful too
>>
>>1119041
it's gotta be cooled down by now, right? I mean you gotta factor in the 2 days we haven't played.
>>
>>1119041
CAnt we just heal or something
>>
>>1119039
Basically, the map is this.
But since I'm such a nice guy, if Fib escapes to where Clackie and Bing is, he'll be too small and fast for the guarding bandits in the main hall to notice and can also slip through the 3 engaging in combat to hid behind the big guys (4 you)
Richard won't have that luxury however
>>
>>1119044
Bird moding over behind Clackie is my vote if it is
>>
>>1119047
Alright, we'll stay to finish off the last guy
>>
>>1119044
In-story days, not Real Life days
>>
>>1119047
Right on, I say Fib makes a dash for it and Richard sneaks around from behind going the long way
>>
>>1119047
can we distract bandits in the hallway somehow
like shooting down torches
>>
>>1119053
yeah I get that, but if you want to add game mechanics a story day can be like half of a real day or vise versa.>>1
>>
>>1119047
Cowardice is love, cowardice is life. Run like bitch behind blue and yellow.
>>
>>1119059
An in-story day is when the party goes to sleep
>>
>>1119064
I see well Gobbo can get to us with out it.
>>
>>1119058
You'll have to roll for that
>>
>>1119066
Yeah, because he is small and slippery
>>
>>1119067
how many turns of other party's battle will it take to go around?
>>
>>1119070
ok let's do all that, we all agree guys?
>>
>>1119076
Aye aye
>>
>>1119074
Well for Fib it'll take only his turn thanks to to his manlet-ness.
For you: A turn to kill the remaining bandit and a turn to distract the other 3, if that succeeds then you can join battle on the 3rd turn.
If it doesn't then you'll fight the 3 in the main hallway
>>
SO, THIS TURN:
- Fib runs to the other group
- Bandit tries to shank either Clackie or Bing
Yes?
Yes
>>
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>>1119080
no, I mean if we run this way after killing remaining bandit, how many turns of other's party battle it'll take
>>
>>1119080
he won't need to distract for Gobbo right?
since you said small and slippery
>>
>>
>>1119083
yeah, we shoot remaining bandit in the face
>>
>>1119085
Oh that, 4 . I mean, it's the long way, man
>>
>>
>>1119083
yes
>>
>>1119087
Yeah, that only applies to himself
>>
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>>1119095
got it
but can we shoot from afar without running into hallway
>>
>>1119096
Sure, after we help clackie.
>>
>>1119099
With no bonus and a -3 to rolls
>>
>>1119105
got it
so what do reds, try to not aggro 3 more bandits and sneak thru or just fire from afar
>>
>>1119114
fire from afar
we don't want to attract those 3 bandits in the hallway
>>
>>1119114
Running around the long way with no aggro chance would only take a turn longer than risking it, I think
>>
>>1119115
kinda suck losing this much chance to hit tho, they are turned back to us after all so they don't see incoming attacks
but yeah, I agree, we won't be able to fight 3 v 1
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
FIB RUNS TO THE OTHER GROUP! REASONING THAT RICHARD GOT THINGS PRETTY MUCH IN CONTROL OVER HERE
WHILE THE BANDIT AIMS AT...
1- Clackie
2- Bing
>>1119115
Well you know, they are standing between the two corridors, they'l probably see arrows fly past
>>1119120
It's less they turn their backs and more the tomb is actually larger that what's shown on the mini map.
Distance, is what I'm getting at.
Also it's in a dimly lit underground tomb/bandit base
>>
>>1119105
ok where we at now? is Gobbo at our side yet?
>>
>>
>>1119126
you wanna re roll that aim? seems like he's hitting nothing.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1119126
Whoops, accidentally used a d6. OH WELL, SINCE IT'S THE HIGHER NUMBER, HE AIMS AT BING.
BLUEs, roll 1d6
He gets +2
You get +1
FIB HAS REACHED THE BACK ROW OF THE ORC N GOLEM, AFTER THE BANDIT ATTACK HE CAN DO SOMETHING
>>1119129
Only the Dickass Thief can do that
>>
>>1119129
Right, but I believe moving, distracting, then moving again to get behind the group is 3 turns of battle
>>
>>1119130
Let 'im attack the darkness if he wants, bandit is his own man.
>>
>>
>>1119132
what happens when the team isn't present?
>>
where the fuck is blue?
>>
>>1119142
suffering
>>
>>1119139
No, that's the good roll.
The bad roll is making you fight them
>>
>>1119142
If it goes on too long then Blue is currently experiencing technical problems and gets a knife in the robodick
>>
>>1119148
can we just slide thru hallway gracefully while shooting everyone into the dick
max payne style
also do we have other types of arrows
>>
Rolled 536 (1d1006)
>>1119132
FUCK
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1119132
double fuck
>>
>>1119161
Yaaaay
>>
>>1119161
Robodick harm averted
Now what will Fib and Richard do?
>>1119156
YOu're overestimating your own level 1 abilities wayyyy too much
>>
>>1119167
Shoot the remaining bandit
>>
>>1119167
heal us Fib, heal us so good.
>>
>>1119167
Heal Clackie
>>
>>1119167
Heal Clackie-Chan, he's on One Hit KO status
>>
>>1119167
shoot remaining bandit
>YOu're overestimating your own level 1 abilities wayyyy too much
when is level up
>>
>>1119173
he's talking about fib now wait your turn nig nug
>>
>>
>>1119173
I think he was talking about the Max Payne cock shots for everyone
>>
>>1119179
i know that
>>
>>1119178
your name means nothing, that's why I couldn't see it
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1119171
Clackie be healed. He now has 2 HP. The Sword Bandits moves back up to the front, using up his turn
Richard aims at the remaining bandit
Roll 1d6, Reds
+3 4 you
+2 4 him
>>1119173
5 million years + 2
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1119185
SHOOT THIS NIGGA
also loot his buddy's spear after we're done
>>
>>
>>1119187
wise orc once said
"no an arrow in the butt means you no leave couch."
>>
Rolled 2 (1d3)
>>1119186
>>1119187
Premature Arrow Discharge
NOW THE ROCK THROWING BANDIT AIMS AT:
3 - Bing
2 - Clackie
1 - The backrow so nobody's the--OH SHIT WAIT FIB'S THERE
>>
>>1119196
does this count as an auto hit or chance to dodge is the same?
>>
Rolled 2, 3 = 5 (2d6)
>>1119196
YELLOW AND RED, roll 1d6 for defense
Yellow fights first roll, Red the second
Yellow: +2
Red: +3
Bandits: +2
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1119206
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1119206
CAN'T SHANK US
WE'RE TOO QUICK
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1119206
I think we can dodge that.
>>
>>1119213
what happens on equal roll anyway/
>>
>>1119217
What equal roll
>>
>>1119219
ah. we got second roll
well shit
>>
>>1119217
Defender seems to win, it's happened twice now.
>>
>>1119209
Clackie Chan deflects the rock!
>>1119210
Turns out you're not
1HP LEFT FOR RICHARD
NOW WHAT WILL BING AND DICK DO?
>>
>>1119229
Can we parry attacks if we have the shortsword out, OP?
>>
>>1119229
THAT WAS MY ONLY GOOD TOP, GODDAMIT
Shoot that fucker
>>
>>1119230
Yes
It translates as having +1 DEX, but only for defending
>>
>>1119236
don't you have an ability to add your dex and str?
>>
MEANWHILE
Blue still has a...bluescreen. lol
>>
>>1119237
the mask takes a turn to put on
we've gotta attack now
>>
>>1119237
wearing a mask is whole turn action
>>
>>1119237
Only for the first attack in battle
>>
>>1119242
that's what I was talking about. Ty
>>
>>1119242
does blue lose a turn at all for not being present? that would suck
>>
>>1119245
Yes. Because that's preferable to waiting until one shows up, that'd take too long.
>>
>>1119238
fuck I'm back. When do we get to act?
>>
>>1119229
oh shit, I'm dumb uh let's Ninja Rap
>>
>>1119253
Now. Choose an action.
>>
>>1119253
Now! Do it now! Overclock your stumming bits!
>>
>>1119256
Ninja Rap nigga!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d5)
>>1119264
ALRIGHT, NOW. BLUES ROLL 2d6
YELLOWS AND GREEN ROLL 1d4
If Blues, first number beat my roll, then he gets the buff THEN any roll higher than his second roll will render that player too dope for the buff
If the first roll fails then it just plain fails
>>
Rolled 4, 6 = 10 (2d6)
>>1119267
holy fucking shit if I fail this I'll kill myself.
>>
>>1119271
DAMN SON
IT WORKED
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)
>>1119267
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)
>>1119267
Go ninja go!
>>
>>1119274
the secret of good rolls is watching porn beforehand apparently.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)
>>1119267
Nice job Blue Bard
>>
>>1119278
Psst, don't tell them you fool.
>>
>>1119278
Implying it isn't the goblin secretly licking you from behind
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)
>>1119267
Yeeee
>>
>>1119286
...secrectly?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1119271
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_K6971WmAs
The YBG team gains 1 free dodge each
Now, while Clackie ponders on what to do, Richard tries to stab the bandit
Reds, roll 1d6
+3 for you
+2 for him
>>
>>1119267
does kick hit 2 mobs at once or what?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1119295
BELIEVE IN THE DICK
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1119295
I want to join the fun at that side of the battle, they seem having fun
time to kill this faggot
>>
>>1119295
Go for the orc punch again.
>>
>>1119302
I blame elves
>>
>>1119306
you should get a zen buff for that
>>
>>1119296
Yeah, but it uses DEX instead, so keep that in mind
>>
>>1119309
oh I didn't know that. Will be useful if Clackie gets a dex buff.
>>
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>>1119308
would nice actually
>>
>>1119311
Join us in getting stoned outside battle, we can smoke plume you
>>
While Clackie Chan ponders, the bandit dies.
Let us remember all the good memories he shared with us
>>
>>1119295
How come str is only the hit chance for us and not the amount of dmg inflicted? Shouldnt dex be hitchance for all melee rolls and perception for ranged or somethin?
>>
>>1119315
Alright, Dick gets the sword from the body and picks up the spear too
we'll shoot from the hallway with an ambush roll
>>
>>1119315
well considering we are hurt, risking to attract 3 more guys is bad idea, we'll just shoot from afar from now on
>>
>>1119315
we punch
>>
>>1119320
Wont they spot your arrows?
>>
>>1119317
Every hit anybody does is 1HP.
And it only seems only you use STR for hitting because the bandits are more DEX inclined so they use DEX instead, The TOMB GUARDIAN used STR, remember him
>>
>>1119324
nah
>>
>>1119326
Yah
>>
>>1119327
mean
>>
>>1119317
if it did we would do more than 1 hp of damage. It's easier to do chance to hit by each individual stat based on what attack you use than combining everything like DnD standards.
>>
>>1119330
And that Tomb Guard would be slamming us for five HP a pop
>>
>>1119331
yah
>>
>>1119334
where's the image at
>>
>>1119330
Str for melee dmg, agi for ranged dmg, per for ranged hit and dodge, dex for melee hit and dodge, int for spell potency, wis for spell hit and resist
Str and agi could increase dmg by 0,5 by every point from base of 1 and end could give 1,5hp per point
>>
>>1119334
I was agreeing with you, as to why you do what you do.
>>
>>1119335
My totally not suspicious basement
>>
>>1119341
what's our inventory look like
>>
>>1119343
It's most likely a box, and very mysterious
>>
>>1119341
we still attack with punch op
Yellow Orc is probably cool with that.
>>
>>
>>
>>1119349
Okay, we use the First aid kit to heal ourself first
that'll end our turn for now
>>
>>1119349
We have sandwiches!?
>>
>>1119353
The first aid kit is what revives a knocked out character, not what heals them while they're healthy
>>
>>1119356
oh, what does the sandwich do?
>>
>>1119357
gives you poop ability
>>
>>1119357
Be delicious
>>
>>1119358
That explains why there aren't four sandwichs. Sorry about the hood, Reds
>>
>>1119361
Not actually sorry.
>>
>>1119359
then can we see what other bandits in hallway doing
>>
>>1119361
Of course, you goddamn stoner.
NOW, YELLOWS PUNCH, WHAT DO REDS DO?
>>
>>
>>1119366
I guess that. and looking for valuables while we are at it.
>>
>>1119364
"Love-Love Bandit-chan best waifu"
"You're goddamn right"
"I dunno, she's too mainstream for me"
"Shut the fuck up bandit No.3"
ALRIGHT, SO
YELLOWS PUNCH..WHICH BANDIT? KNIFE BANDIT WITH 2 HP OR SWORD BANDIT WITH 1 HP?
REDS TAKE THE LONG WAY, 4 TURNS TILL LOCKING UP WITH GROUP
>>
>>1119370
Yell that their waifu is shit
>>
>>1119374
They have discovered Richard, whom must now fight a gang of bandits that have +500000 bonus each
>>
>>1119376
nigga what the fuck
we're dead
>>
>>1119376
that was bandit No 3, not me
>>
>>1119376
Run like a bitch, Dick!
>>
>>1119376
can this wait? we wasted enough time on reds
>>
>>1119377
Haha, I'm just kidding. Just stalling for time until Yellow answers my question.
But they still discovered you though for insulting their waifus
>>
>>1119376
Loudly reply that ALL waifu's are equal.
Equally shit.
>>
>>1119385
oh, we run like a bitch then
>>
>>1119370
sword bandit
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1119389
YELLOWS, roll 1d6
You get a +3
He gets a +1
>>1119388
REDS, roll 1d6 to see if you can run like a bitch
1: you failed to run like a bitch and tripped on the way, giving them free access to you anus
2-4: failed to run like a bitch and must now fight
5: Ran like a bitch, honor forever tainted
6: ran like a bitch, but with some dignity left
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1119391
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1119391
WE RUN WITH A TACTICAL RETREAT
>>
>>1119394
hey look at that
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1119391
their waifu is still a shit
>>
>>1119394
He called their waifu shit and got away with it too. A true hero
>>
>>1119393
The bandit is slain! Now it's Fib's turn to do some shit
>>1119394
Richard ran like a bitch
>>
>>1119400
SEE YA
is that going down towards more of the tomb, OP?
>>
>>1119400
Smoke plume Bing
Hopefully a golem can't get stoned
>>
>>1119400
sing an intimidating sonnet
>>
>>1119400
I hope there aren't any traps
>>
>>1119400
Throw the rock back at rock-throwing bandit.
Because heal is on cooldown.
>>
>>1119406
Changing vote to this
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1119406
>>1119407
Roll 1d6, Greens
He gets a +2
You get a +2
>>1119402
>>1119405
ROLL 1d6 TO SEE WHERE YOU GOING
5-6: back into the hall so you can get to where the others are
3-4: right into a trap
2: right into a trap
1: Assrape Machine 4000 Mk.V Deluxe
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1119411
LIVE BY THE DICK
DIE BY THE DICK
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1119411
Fuuuucking rocks
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1119411
LIVE BY THE GANJA
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1119411
were are we going, when we are getting home
>>
>>1119415
OH SHIT
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)
>>1119415
ROCK BANDIT HAS 1HP LEFT. KNIFE BANDIT'S GONNA SHANK SOMEBODY AGAIN!
AND IT'S:
1- Clackie
2- Bing
>>1119412
Oh and Richard stepped into a bear trap. Don't make any sudden movements, it hasn't been set off juuuuuuust yet.
>>
>>1119422
well shit
we can't do anything until the others are finished with their battle
>>
>>1119422
we are ranger class, we surely can just disarm it
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1119422
YELLOWS, roll 1d6
You get +2
He gets +2
>>1119423
>>1119424
REDs, ponder options:
- Stay there and wait, either the others come or the 3 bandits chasing you comes
- Carefully remove foot from trap as you have not properly stepped on it yet
- Try to disarm trap
- Genuflect
>>
>>1119431
Try to disarm it
since the 2nd option of carefully removing the foot will lead to it arming
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)
>>1119431
1 >- Try to disarm trap
or
2 >- Carefully remove foot from trap as you have not properly stepped on it yet
I'm not sure, coin flip
>>
>>1119432
we have high dex, we might just avoid it.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1119431
>>
>>1119435
Yes, that still applies. But rolling successfully means they can save it for later in the battlel
>>
>>1119437
Ooooh.
>>
Rolled 1, 6 = 7 (2d6)
>>1119436
Clackie Dodged succesfully! His ninja rap buff is still saved
Rock throwing bandit aims at....(first dice decides)
5-6: Bing-Bingie
3-4: Clackie Chan
1-2: Fib Smogee
>>1119438
REDs, roll 1d6 to attempt to escape trap, contend with my second dice
+3 bonus thanks to your DEX
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1119441
DIE BY THE DICK
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1119441
it's not like we needed foot anyway
>>
>>1119444
welp
we're dead
>>
>>1119443
well at least I was right about DEX, but I guess we forgot about dice god
If only there was some communist passerby.
>>
>>
>>1119447
>implying OP will let us to do that
say goodbye to the leg, knight
>>
>>1119449
well, dick is on our minds
maybe richard will figure it out
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1119441
GREENs, roll 1d6
+2 for you
+2 for bandit
>>1119443
>>1119444
REDs, stay there with your bleeding leg that won't kill you, that'll be too cruel.
It just immobilizes you and drops your DEX to 1
>>
>>1119455
shit
we're out of the game for now, green, blue, yellow
>>
>>1119455
Can we choose to ninja after we roll?
>>
>>1119455
I guess we are turret now.
gl to the rest of the party
start writing your will
>>
>>
IM HERE DONT WORRY
>>
>>1119460
it's for KO characters, we can't heal myself with it
Just eat all sandwiches to make us feel better about ourself
>>
>>1119460
only for revives, you gonna have to heal him when we get to him
>>
>>1119456
I doubt we'll need any rolls now, so I'll be afk for half of hour
>>
>>1119460
Thanks to the ninja buff, Fib survives this round.
Now it's up to Bing to do something.
Meanwhile, Richard is still stuck
>>
>>1119469
if bing fails a cast does it still go on cool down?
>>
>>1119469
PUNCH IN DICK
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1119469
Answer meeeee
Ok, I see gangreen was right.
>>
>>1119471
Yes, but one turn less than the usual cooldown.
But Through The Fire And Flames can only be casted once per battle, so it's missed cooldown is fixed to 5 turns
He's on his 4th
>>
>>1119472
BING BINGIE IS GOING TO PUNCH THE BANDIT IN THE DICK
Confirm Y/N
Richard is still stuck, wonder if the 3 bandits chasing him heard his screams
>>
>>1119478
oh shit
bingie looks really cool there
go for it blue
>>
>>1119478
that's a lot of black yogurt
>>
>>
>>1119478
PUNCH HIM THE DICK WITH THE FORCE OF TEN QUINTILLION NUCLEAR BOMBS
>>
>>
>>1119483
but it goes up to 11
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1119481
>>1119483
AND BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING BARD THAT MEANS
You get a +2 bonus
He gets a +1
Blues, Roll 1d6
Also, Reds, WILL YOU BE DISCOVERED BY THE BANDITS?! LET'S HOPE NOT
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1119486
>>
>>1119486
we'll be fine
please save us, green
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1119486
BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME BY THE DICE GOD
YOUR WAIFU IS SHIT
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
let's fucking go
>>
Rolled 455 (1d1006)
>>1119486
>>
>>1119490
Never mind do that guy
>>
>>1119490
well that worked out
>>
>>1119486
hey reds maybe put on your mask so you can make up on the -1 dex?
>>
>>1119486
eat sandwhiches to help deal with PAIN
>>
>>
>>1119490
HIT! THE BANDIT HAS 1HP LEFT!
QUICK, CLACKIE CHAN! STRIKE!
Oh and since Reds aren't doing anything, you wanna roll to see if something happens or you wanna sit there and bleed
>>
>>1119497
we eat a sandwich
but a roll would be cool to see if we could escape again
>>
>>1119497
orc punch again the remaining bandit.
>>
>>1119498
they only make him feel better, no physical wounds are healed
>>
>>1119499
>escape with 1 dex
and what we going to do? stare them to death?
we are not orc
>>
>>1119503
we got our ambush roll, don't we?
we gotta help our teammates
>>
>>1119507
they seem to be doing fine, let's just eat sandwiches.
>>
>>1119508
Red buddy, what kind of sammich should I make for you
>>
OP quick question, what exactly happens on lvl up.
>>
>>1119509
Peanut Butter and Semen
>>
>>1119511
You're not a red buddy shut the hell up
>>
>>1119510
The BLT's come on a brioche bun, instead of plain white toast
>>
>>1119514
I think Green could definitely use a stat point into their endurance
>>
>>1119512
watch yourself blue, he will fuck your character up if he feels like it.
>>
>>
>>1119509
meat on meat. with meat in between
and some bacon to wrap it up
>>
>>1119519
Sounds vaguely homosexual
>>
>>1119515
Nah son, gotta pump up that DEX
We don't need HP if we can't be hit
>>
>>
>>1119521
you got my decision right op?
>>
>>1119522
true, but being able to tank at least one hit is better than being able to tank no hits
>>
>>1119518
You already know the brown note of myth.
>>
>>1119525
Should Bingie max endurance so he can't be killed ever never?
>>
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>>1119519
Does this look right? Enjoy that sweet son of a bitch
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
CLACKIE CHAN TRIES TO PUNCH BANDIT!
Roll 1d6, yellows
+3 for you
+1 for him
REDs, you can:
-Eat a sandwich
-Roll 1d6 for one of this to happen:
+6: You managed to crawl away
+4-5: nothing happens
+3: For some reason you decide to crawl into a nearby coffin instead
+2:a bandit finds you
+1:3 bandits find you
>>1119515
Goblins are special in the fact that it'll take them 5 levels to get 1 END point
>>
>>1119527
hmm
we should be training bingie to be our main tank and get a better lute that doesn't break, he's got the right amount of HP unless we get better armor ourselves that buff our endurance
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1119530
aaaahhh ff fuuuuck
>>
>>1119530
we're eating the sandwich to ease the pain, OP
>>
>>1119530
Does the spear use DEX or STR to attack?
>>
>>1119531
We def need a better lute. I wanna smack people more.
>>
>>1119534
I hope it tastes delicious.
>>
>>1119538
You're looking at this wrong. You don't need need a better lute, you need many lutes.
Quantity is a quality all its own.
>>
>>1119540
I mean wouldn't a stone lute do more damage than a wood one?
>>
>>1119540
That, or swap your musical instrument. For instance, a heavy club can double as a drum stick.
>>
>>1119541
has a stone lute ever produced musical sound?
>>
>>1119532
He is slain! Only one bandit left! It's Fib's turn
>>1119534
>>1119536
Eating a sandwich help ease the pain, reminding you of better times. Of home. Of the forest where you lived. SPending your time jerkin it to squirrels
>>
>>1119546
Flashback to happier times
>>
>>1119545
If you rearrange the protons and electrons and shit first, yeah
>>
>>1119546
needs more flashbacks
>>
>>1119546
oh shit I thought that was the last one! shit, does monks kick only hit 2 at a time in they are next to each other and not behind one another?
>>
>>1119546
Chuck a rock at that rock chucker nerd again
>>
>>1119549
More squirrels.
>>
>>1119546
Heal Clackie again. Orc needs to stop getting hit.
>>
>>1119550
Yes, like the sword bandit's sword swings. Only goes in a horizontal line.
>>
>>1119553
deep fried squirrels
>>
Whaaaa im awake
>>
>>1119554
we fine, we still got ninja on ourselves
>>
>>1119560
The man himself wants rock chucking
>>
While Fib is thinking, Richard remembers the times when he jerked it to squirrels
>>
>>1119564
in our visions, it looked like a cute squirrel girl
>>
>>1119564
Rock and roll
Or, just rock.
>>
>>1119564
You're a better artist from a 5-minute thing than I could do in 30, holy shit
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1119567
Roll 1d6
+2 for you
+2 for him
>>1119565
Yeah, yeah, sure it does
>>
>>1119570
you mean love love squirrel-chan isn't real, OP?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1119570
We need better rocks.
>>
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>>1119564
>>1119565
this
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1119570
That's one cute squirrel
>>
>>1119581
The squirrel fucked you up mate, don't get distracted
>>
Rolled 1 (1d3)
>>1119577
BANDIT WILL NOW RETALIATE, AGAINST
3 - B
2 - C
1 - F
>>1119572
I'm sorry you had to find out this way son, we were going to save it til your birthday to tell you
>>
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>>1119565
it looks even worse
>>
>>1119584
awww
have Richard start crying
>>
>>1119584
Noooo!
>>
>>1119584
Heroic Golem Shield!
>>
>>1119584
Good luck! Everyone knows weed speeds up reaction time drastically!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1119584
QUICK, GREENS! ROLL 1D6 LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! BECAUSE IT IS!
+2 for you
+2 for him
The revelation of waifus not being real brings Richard to tears.
His crying may have alerted the other bandits, however
>>
>>1119593
cry out super loudly
MUH WAIFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
this will get the bandits to cry because they know their waifu isn't real too
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1119593
Goodbye, Indica my love. Tell Sativa she was alright too I guess
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1119593
Why did we agree to fighting? We should have just run like a bitch again.
>>
>>1119586
jesus, she was cute, then turned her into a pig
>>
>>1119596
Who knew this rock chucker was a blassed follower of the dice gods?
>>
>>1119593
you don't roll who he was aiming for?
>>
>His crying may have alerted the other bandits, however
we reveal that to them then too and cry together,
>>
>>1119596
Or, better yet, blessed.
>>
>>1119600
forgot tag
>>
>>1119595
>>1119596
FIB IS...KNOCKED OUT! COMPLETELY DISABLED UNTIL SOMEBODY REVIVES HIM! OR IF HE GETS HIT AGAIN, IN WHICH CASE HE'S DEAD!
"Damn protagonist privileges" said the bandit
WHAT WILL BING DO?!
>>1119600
See >>1119584
>>1119594
REDs, roll 1d6
6: Bandits hear your cry, realize their waifu also isn't real and cry witchu
3-5: 1 bandit heard you and comes to investigate
2: 2 bandits comes to you
3: 3 bandits cums to you
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1119606
MUH WAIFUUUUUUU
>>
>>1119606
It seems getting reamed was inevitable
>>
Rolled 603 (1d1006)
>>1119606
OP is racist against humans
>>
>>1119609
I'm asian, I'm racist against everybody
>>
>>1119606
Yikes
>>
>>1119615
Bing expresses his opinion on the matter
>>1119609
>>1119611
A BANDIT APPEARS
Roll 1d3, Reds
3 - He's here to capture you
2 - He's here to kill you
1 - He's an elf
>>
Rolled 2 (1d3)
>>1119616
aw shit
>>
Rolled 1 (1d3)
>>1119616
.... wanna bite of the sandwich?
>>
>>1119617
Double aw shit
>>
>>1119618
>Offering an Elf a BLT
You'll offend his delicate sensibilities!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1119616
Sonic Boom Lute solooooooo
If not. Ill give Fig a suppository
>>
>>1119620
and that's why we got a 2
>>
>>1119622
For this single case, I am tempted to use the lower number, as it'd be more cruel.
And funnier.
To me.
>>
>>1119623
>implying you'll just let us die peacefully instead of suffering
I expected that
>>
>>1119624
You can always attempt to scare him off by telling him an Orcs upstairs
>>
>>1119621
Ah yes, Bing pulls out a First Aid Kit, which comprises of a REVIVAL PILL, CRAFTED BY THE APOTHECARY, along with some medieval lube, to help with the...application of said pill
>>1119624
EXACTLY, WHICH IS WHY WHEN YOU OFFERED UP A BITE OF YOUR SANDWICH, A KNIFED-EARED ASSAILANT STEPS OUT FROM THE SHADOWS AND SAID:
"Oh I'll be taking a bite outta something, yeeeaaahhhhh...." while rubbing his crotch and looking at your ass
>>
>>1119627
FUCK THAT
PUT ON THE DICK MASK
WE'RE FIGHTING THIS NIGGA
GIVE US THE AMBUSH ROLL, OP
>>
>>1119627
but his ass can't bite -- oooohhhhhh
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1119627
well our hands are still free so we stab him with our shortsword.
>>
>>1119627
don't be gentle ramming it in there we need to finish this bandit!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1119629
"Kinky"
Roll 1d6, REDs
MEANWHILE, Bing is still undecided
>>
>>1119627
Lube up and in insert to gobbo
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1119635
RED RANGER
LET'S FUCKING GO
>>
>>1119627
also op Clackie ready to punch the last Bandit.
>>
I hate this life. Wy did I ever go adventuring with these people.
>>
>>1119635
Bing applies to gobbo after lubing.
Bing is a robo so its totally not gay. And he licked me so fuck him
>>
>>1119639
Money, mostly. You whore.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1119635
>>
>>1119637
we are in fucking sync today
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1119640
FIB IS REVIVED!
If he gets hit again, the kit won't work again until the battle ends.
AND NOW, CLACKIE! PUNCH BANDIT?! OF COURSE YOU WILL. He only got 1 HP left anyway.
Roll 1d6
+3 for you
+2 for him
>>1119637
>>1119643
Ambush success, roll 1d6
+4 for you
+3 for him as he's a shitty bandit elf, has higher DEX than other shitty bandits
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1119649
STANDING
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1119649
DIE BY THE DICK
>>
>>1119649
Also, that's a typo, the bandit Clackie's punching only has a +1
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1119649
>>
>>1119657
ROYAL HEART BREAKER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz0nBQyWOsA
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1119656
>>1119655
THE BANDIT DIES! CLACKIE CHAN, BING BINGIE AND FIB SMOGEE ARE VICTORIOUS! NOW WHAT WILL THEY DO?! GO LOOK FOR RICHARD?! OR RUN BACK INTO THE HALL AND FACE THE REMAINING BANDITS?!
AS FOR RICHARD, HE HITS THE ELF! NOW BOTH OF YOU ONLY HAS 1HP LEFT.
TIME TO GO INTO BATTLE, HE HAS HIGHER DEX, SO HE'LL GO FIRST!
IT'S SUDDEN DEATH NOW, YOU HIT HIM, HE DIES. HE HITS YOU, YOUR ASS IS VIOLATED.
ROLL 1d6 TO TRY TO NOT GET FUCKED IN THE ASS
+3 for him
+2 for you
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1119663
CHESTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1119663
nigga
we ain't winning that even if we roll a 6
CRY OUT FOR HELP
SMOGEE, BING, CLACKIEEEEEE
REEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>1119663
It's not so bad, if the suppository is any judge.
>>
>>1119667
saved the day
>>
>>1119663
I say we look for Dick, we are stronger with dick and dick is stronger with us. ..... penis
>>
>>1119663
Can Fib skidaddle past the bandits like before and reach poor Dick in time?
>>
>>1119672
Fib doesn't know where Dick is this time. It is too late anyway.
>>
>>1119670
oh wait I mixed bonuses
well fuck
>>
>>1119673
I guess Fib'll heal the party to full before setting out
>>
>>1119663
Bing, you're going to need to carry me.
>>
>>1119667
HAHA, OPPOSING MOODS!
>>
>>1119677
we choose not to go unconscious and die instead
>>
>>1119677
this is blue board, OP
don't do that to us
>>
>>1119677
gather loot and exp, let's find our other party member.
Wise orc once say:
"full party is better than 3rd party, because elf just throw away votes."
>>
>>1119677
This took a dark turn.
I mean YEAH, WE FUCKED THOSE BANDITS UP!
>>
>>1119677
Offer celebratory dankshit to Orc in a bid to increase tolerance
>>
>>1119685
is it the dankest?
>>
>>1119686
No schwag for the Zenmaster
That's bad karma or something
>>
>>1119686
We only got the dankest.
>>
>>1119682
>>1119683
Lootin' and thinking
>>1119679
>>1119680
"Shhh. Just close your eyes. It'll be over soon"
>>
>Human is the Zebra of the group
I am laughing my ass off
>>
>>1119693
I blame Elves
>>
>>1119693
Hummies finally get a taste.
Good shit op
>>
>>1119692
Only half our party getting their poopchutes violated
>>
>>1119692
we split up taking 5 bandits red and green toook two while blue yellow took 3, we just finished killing our half, red is now captured, and we're off to find him.
>>
>>1119694
Naw. He's Tex. Getting raped and shit
>>
>>1119693
What loot do we get?
>>
>>1119699
Neato
>>
>>1119700
I would like to remind you that Zebra was the original rape victim
>>
>>1119700
but Zebra was raped and shit. That was like a recurring thing. Zebra fags spent multiple threads trying to retcon the whole thing.
>>
>>1119703
No. It was Tex I am sure. The doppleganger saga i mean
>>
>and he never smiled again with his pure innocent smile
>>
>>1119707
Yes, but that was at least heterosexual rape.
Zebra got gay raped, from the first saga
>>
>>1119693
Let's go find our Dick now, ok?
>>
>>1119709
Nothing innocent about you
>>
>>1119711
Sounds good to me. Onwards, to wonder why there's only two bandits
>>
>>1119710
Oh. Sad.
I forget things easilly.
>>
>>1119712
Not anymore
>>
>>1119693
Bing loots and Lutes
>>
LOOT COUNT:
- Bandit Sword: gives no bonuses but allow a character to attack two enemies in the front at the same time
- Shitty bandit knife: a shitty bandit knife
- 4 gold
- Bandit key
NOte that any weapon you find can be quipped by anybody BUT Clackie Chan
>>
>>1119718
Bard takes a gold and knife
>>
>>1119718
Ok, let's get back into exploring! After we rest up anyway. Red should be meeting us soon
>>
>>1119718
Op, is there a possibility we can learn orc-jutsu?
>>
>>1119718
give bingie the sword and let's move on to find Richard.
>>
>>1119721
Yeah, that's like, for later levels.
>>
>>1119721
we aren't ninjas
we can learn ki moves and kungfu shit
>>
>>1119718
I say we take up the sword
>>
>>1119722
Bingie should wield the sword, he's a front man anyways
>>
>>1119718
Bandit Key? Does it open bandits the way a door-key opens doors?
Would a skeleton key open skeletons?
>>
>>1119726
I meant it more like Jusutsu
>>
>>1119727
We're going to get a spear so we can attack from the back row, whenever we find out where Richard been lollygagging
>>
>>1119731
oh we call the Orc Wrastling
>>
>>1119732
Oh, you're right, i think one of the bandits had a spear
>>
>>1119732
Well there's certainly some gagging happening, all right.
>>
>>1119735
then let's all find richard
Y/N?
>>
>>1119736
Ye, and lets watch
>>
>>
>>
>>1119736
Dick.
Y.
>>
>>1119745
drag him along till he wakes up, fucking golem I swear....
>>
>>1119745
It's alright, I'm sure he's not in any form of distress. Does anyone know how to troubleshoot a golem?
>>
>>1119745
We should reboot the golem, he's broken
>>
>>1119748
Have you tried turning it off and on again
>>
>>1119745
[EAR RAPE WINDOWS 7 ERROR SOUND]
>>
>>1119753
yes! it's goddamn it's like-- oh wait he was unplugged.
>>
>>1119753
I reaponded to the looting. What now?
>>
>>1119756
Thar be bandits to kill!
>>
>>1119756
Now the party can go and find Richard! Which way will you go? Back to the hall with the bandits or continue down this corridor of coffins?
>>
>>1119753
Oh, it booted back up. Damn automatic updates.
>>
>>1119756
gotta stick around, things change real quick
>>
>>
>>1119759
corridor, we can meet Richard on our way around.
>>
>>1119761
At work doing adult things. Sorry
>>
>>1119764
same here, it's not your fault though most of your fellow blues just fuck off and nay return.
>>
>>1119759
Fib'll follow the meat shields.
>>
>>1119764
Well that's not the only person "doing adult things" around here, knowwhatimsayin
What I'm saying is Red is getting raped.
>>
>>1119759
Coffins. There are only dead things in coffins, and dead things are non-scary.
>>
Speaking of which, are the reds still here?
>>
>>1119762
Golem and Goblin agree to continue down da corridor. Orc stays silent on the issue
>>1119769
They're here, in spirit.
>>
>>1119771
Off we go
>>
>>1119771
Lets go and watch him get raped already
>>
>>1119771
Nice and safe body-containers.
>>
>>1119772
>>1119775
>>1119776
>>1119778
Oh hey, there he is, next to that elf for some reason
>>
>>1119783
Play a tune appropriate for the situation
>>
>>1119783
DESPERATION SUICIDE
BITE OUR TONGUE
>>
>>1119783
Did you have fun, elf dude?
>>
>>1119783
wise orc once said:
"see elf, fuck up elf."
>>
File: Untitled.png (32KB, 122x171px) Image search:
[Google]
32KB, 122x171px
>>1119783
Ask Richard if he's okay
>>
>>1119783
Suppository?
>>
>>1119785
we are KO, can't act till healed
>>
>>1119783
Oh, he's smoking. Blaze it, it's only appropriate.
>>
>>1119789
yeah no need for the lube
>>
>>1119792
Does heal work on KO'd?
>>
>>1119796
I meant that revive is needed
>>
>>1119784
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bosouX_d8Y
>>1119787
Clackie Jumps the elf
>>1119788
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/21/Terry2000fix.png
WELL REDS, ARE U OKAY?!
>>
>>1119798
nigga we've got literally no HP left
that and our dignity is gone
we might as well take the easy way out
>>
>>1119798
kill the elf
>>
>>1119798
Share some nose-weed with Richard, it'll make him feel better.
>>
>>1119799
Nope, were reviving you
>>
>>1119798
Use suppository on Dick and we ask him "Are you satisfied with your care?"
>>
>>1119799
RED STATUS: Pretty fucking far from okay
Begin preparing suppository.
>>
>>1119800
Also this, snap his neck for xp
>>
>>1119806
So, semen?
>>
>>1119799
hey big guy, how bout we go kill those last 3 bandits, maybe that will cheer you up?
>>
>>1119808
silly OP
that's for a succubus
>>
>>1119798
I guess Bings got the poopchute revival, Fib'll go with pulling out the most mind wiping weed he carries
>>
>>1119806
Tell that to Orc bouncer
>>
>>1119814
orcs die all the time
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
PREPARING RICHARD FOR SENSUAL HEALING.
RICHARD, PREPARE TO BE HEALED.
BING BINGIE, PLAY SOMETHING TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaKDOYTZbJg
CLACKIE CHAN, ROLL 1d6 TO SNAP ELF'S NECK
+3 for you
+1 for elf
>>1119815
And assholes get violated alll the time, such is life
>>
>>1119817
YOU BETTER NOT, YOU ROBOT
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1119817
>>
>>1119813
We could heal him, too.
>>
>>1119817
domo arigato mister robotto
>>
>>1119820
Fuck ye
>>
>>1119819
BEEP BOOP, ASSUME THE POSITION, MR RICHARD
>>1119820
>>
>>1119828
Loot
Noooow
>>
>>1119828
that's mr. dick to you
fine, we assume the position
>>
>>1119828
start vibrating hand to charge up the healing vitamins in the pill
>>
>>1119834
Great idea
>>
>>1119831
>>1119833
>>1119834
The healing was administered
>>1119830
YOU FOUND:
-A coin
-Shitty bandit knife
-A mystery box
>>
>>1119836
......open the box
>>
fuck you guys
>>
>>1119836
Take the spear and equip it while poor Richard tries to recover
>>
>>1119836
Play appropriate theme music
>>
>>1119836
OP, what about that spear from the bandit me and Fib killed earlier
>>
>>1119836
Mystery box oppppeeen protocols
>>
>>1119838
THere's definitely some fucking going on
>>
YOU OPENED THE BOX
>>
>>1119849
it's a trick Elves are sneaky like that
>>
>>1119849
Oh, nice, rolling papers. Dibs.
>>
>>1119849
check under the paper
>>
>>1119849
Check under paper
>>
>>1119853
In the end he opted to run after calling the bandits waifu shit instead
>>
>>1119856
hey, that was red ranger
I told Dick to pick up the spear
>>
>>1119859
go back to loot the spear then
>>
>>1119859
Use box as shitty dagger storage
>>
>>1119859
The elves have gone too far this time.
We have to seek elves to bootyslam now, that way, THEY'LL be the faggets.
>>
>>1119860
who knew
>>
>>1119859
stuff elf carcass in to box and vent rage on remaining bandits. Let's go guys!
>>
>>1119862
And so you did
>>1119861
>>1119863
What does Clackie think of this?
>>
>>1119863
You are terrible at gob. Bodyslam is not an option to even consider
But hey, at least we got some more papers.
>>
>>1119872
BOOTYslam. It's far more tender and loving
>>
>>1119875
ooh. Huh, still a bit scary. But maybe if we have help.
>>
>>1119876
I nominate Richard. As he's had at least 5 minutes of rough gay elf sex, he has the most experience with this sort of thing.
>>
>>1119871
Beep boop. Loot with Clackie we go
>>
>>1119873
Well there's only 2 left between you and your corpses. Are the others okay with this plan?
>>
>>1119881
let's finish off the two hopefully we level up.
>>
>>1119881
we go with the party to kill them then and get all the loot in the area
>>
>>1119881
Aye aye, but heal up Richard beforehand
>>
>>1119881
Give 'em Hell!
By which I mean stay in the back and hope to go unnoticed.
>>
>>1119884
we out of battle I think the med kit did that for him
>>
>>1119881
Beep boop
ITS TIME TO PARY WE GOTTA PARTY HARD
>>
>>1119883
that
>>
>>1119882
>>1119883
>>1119884
He's already healed. Thanks to his dose.
>>1119887
THE PARTY ENCOUNTER THE BANDITS!
"Ey! It's them!"
"Where that other guy go? Ya know, Bandit number 3"
>>
>>1119890
AMBUSH THESE NIGGAS
>>
>>1119890
orc kick on bandits after ambush, hopefully we can kill one and damage the other.
>>
>>1119890
FIRE AND FLAME
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1119892
>>1119893
That's 2 turns, m8.
ROLL FOR AMBUSH ATTEMPT FIRST
>>
>>1119890
Clackie or Bing suffering from any damage? If so, heal it.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1119897
we might not need the mask
time to be a dick
>>
>>1119898
We still got 3 hp. We good
>>
>>1119897
If not, wield the Safest Possible Enemy Attack Rebuffer
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1119897
I'VE BEEN REBORN
ANGER IS MY SECOND NAME
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1119897
>>
>>1119899
>>1119902
AMBUSH FAILED. CONGRATS STUPIDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
But hey, normal turn now. Put on mask Y/N
CLACKIE, kick Y/N
FIB, DO NOTHING Y/N
BING, SING SOMETHING Y/N
>>
>>
>>1119909
nah, just shoot them
our dex is better
>>
>>1119909
>Put on mask Y/N
Y
>>
>>1119909
I have returned ones again.
>>
>>1119909
sing Y
>>
>>
>>1119915
>>1119916
Maybe
You shoot the mask
>>
>>1119921
we put the mask on then
fucking hell
>>
>>
>>1119909
N, throw rock
>>
>>1119922
>>1119925
It seems Richard's going through some technical difficulties
>>
>>
>>1119928
But what about putting the mask on?
>>
>>1119927
shoot arrows at enemies
>>
>>1119921
We should ask fib for a joint, it's been a rough day
>>
>>1119926
I thought we learned this lesson! Attacking invites disaster. RNJesus wants us to be a pacifist.
>>
>>1119933
too late
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1119928
>>1119932
>>1119933
Roll 1d6, Red
+3 bonus for you
+2 for bandit
-500 PROLAPSED ANUS debuff on you
Ok, I kid.
OR DO I?!
Yeah I am.
>>
>>1119935
I'm pretty sure we're without sin, cast that stone
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1119938
>>
>>1119935
Pff, we're a weed-smoking goblin forest hobo, we don't give a fuck
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1119938
god damn it, OP
DIE BY THE DICK, NIGGA
>>
>>1119939
Also, what stone? We threw the stones that stone-throwing bandit was throwing at us.
>>
>>
Rolled 2, 5 = 7 (2d6)
>>1119944
Ya missed.
YELLOWS, ROLL 1d6 TO KICK BANDITS
You get +2 Because the kick uses DEX instead
They get +2
>>
>>1119953
ROLL THE ROLL
>>
>>1119952
Stick 'em with a spear, then
>>
>>1119957
Too late
>>
>>1119952
Maybe there's one on the ground?
If not, we can just throw our knife.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1119956
>>
>>1119958
Ah humbug, that's right. Spear behind scary bandit men.
>>
>>1119960
ARGH
>>
>>1119963
fucking hell
>>
>>
>>1119963
Aaaaaand that's a miss.
NOW IT'S FIB'S TURN. THE FUCK YOU GONNA DO LIL NIGGA?
- Nothing
- Smoke weed
- Run away like a bitch
- Think about the meaning of life
>>
>>1119963
Yellow Hitler where the fuck are you
>>
>>1119971
Think about the meaning of life.
>>
>>1119971
Throw the shitty bandit knife we equipped a while ago
>>
>>1119971
Throw Shitty Dagger at Shitty Bandit
>>
>>1119971
think about the meaning of life
>>
>>1119973
>>1119974
>>1119975
>>1119976
So let's compromise by thinking, about the meaning of knife
>>
>>1119977
sure do that. get a good look at the knife. slowly.
>>
>>1119977
Yes, the meaning of knife is to throw it at the bandits that are tying to kill you.
Now do it.
>>
>>1119977
I am ok with this.
>>
>>1119977
If knife gives no stat boosts, why do bandits use it? To look menacing in groups?
>>
>>1119977
>
what's the conclusion you come to?
>>
>>1119982
Yeah. Just like none of the default weapons you all have do anything stat-wise
>>
>>1119984
>>1119978
>>1119980
>>1119979
"stick them with the pointy end"
Amazing revelation, gentlemen
>>
>>1119988
so... no slicing?
>>
>>1119984
The SOLE purpose of Knife cannot to be thrown at bandits in self defense, as bandits are the ones that wield them. It can't just mean a small, sharp object intended for cutting, because it doesn't aid stats what so ever. I am at a loss, need more weed.
>>
>>1119988
It makes your whimpy slaps into little bleedy pokes
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)
>>1119993
But seriously though, that's what Fib did this turn.
SO NOW ONE OF THE BANDITS GONNA STAB SOMEONE
AND IT'S:
1- Clackie
2- Bing
>>
>>1119992
But what if it is simply used for aestethic purposes? What if the knife was used just because it looked menacing? The psychological implications of such a thing would be quite terrifying.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1119995
BLUEs, roll 1d6
+1 for you
+2 For him
>>
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1119997
>>
>>1119996
what if it indicates a status of the bandit group...
>>
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1119997
it's up to me then
>>
>>1120001
A status of...shitty. The boss man gets the big, shiny knife that has a special quality. The low tier thugs get a menacing looking object that doesn't actually aid them. Robbers and Bandits need to scare their victims into compliance, yes?
>>
>>1120001
Yes, maybe the working class has the knife as its symbol, while other high-class bandit citizens such as nobles or wealthy merchants have other kinds of weapons.
I think we may be onto something.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)
>>1120003
DEFENSE UNBREACHED
The second bandit is going to try and STAB...
1- Clackie
2- Bing
>>
>>1120002
I think he's onto something
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1120005
>>1120006
>>1120007
BLUEs, roll 1d6
+1 for you
+2 For him
Again
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1120010
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1120010
>>
>>1120010
I understand it, now! The purpose of knife is to give out class purpose in healing a single person 1 HP point after they inevitably get shivved!
>>
>>1120011
EVASIVE MANEUVERS INITIATED
HULL INTEGRITY AT MAXIMUM
COMMAND NEEDED
>>
Consider the humble bandit: shitty, alone and forgotten, his most valuable item being only the knife.
Throughout his life, the bandit becomes attached to this dangerous instrument of war, and it becomes its preferred weapon.
With the knife being so shitty it looks menacing, the bandit has more and more success in his robberies and quickly assumes a symbiotic relationship with his weapon.
And the bandit knows that even in death, the knife will never leave him.
And this, class, is why 90% of bandits only use knives with no stat-bonuses.
They really are just autistic.
You should feel sorry for them.
>>1120018
Interesting theory, my friend.
We all may be more connected to bandits than we really think.
>>
>>1120019
Can we use through the fire and the flames?
>>
>>1120020
Shitty knives connect us all. Sometimes, very briefly yet painfully. Knife exists to stab, Tank exists to be stabbed, and healer exists to heal stab wound. Ebb, flow, and eventual balance. It's bringing a tear to my eye.
>>
>>1120023
Yeah sure. Remember that if you fail it needs 5 turns to recharge
>>
>>1120025
And Rangers get fucked in the ass
IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIFFFEEE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8ZnCT14nRc
>>
>>1120026
let's go
>>
>>1120025
Well yeah, that's the Church of the Shiv of Life's take on it.
I prefer a more scientific approach.
>>
>>1120026
We use it
>>
>>1120029
Do you think they're hiring? Would they be mad or impressed if I stabbed their High Priest and took his job?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1120028
>>1120030
Blues, roll 1d6
>>
>>1120031
Their whole thing is about the process of stabbing and shanking, so you'd fit right in.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1120032
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1120032
Our lute is burning with passion! Its strings tell me to defeat you!
>>
>>1120034
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15JCb6P60Vw
PARTY-WIDE BUFF! +1 TO ALL STATS!
It's Richard's turn now. what do?
>>
>>1120038
so I thought Clackie went first before. Not that I care, just need to know what happend.
>>
>>1120038
we shoot the bandits
also, another red take over please
>>
>>1120040
Clackie went first during the tutorial level due to me forgetting Richard had higher DEX
But don't tell nobody
>>
>>1120043
your secret is safe with me
>>
>>1120038
get weed from the gobling and smoke it to forget recent events
>>
>>1120048
focus on the battle then do that.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1120041
>>1120044
Let's use that as your roll too, for speed.
+4 for you
+2 for him
>>
>>
>>1120052
Bandit 1 loses 1 HP!
Clackie's turn
>>
>>1120043
Uploading to worldwide fantasy internet.
Buffering.
Update needed.
>>
>>1120056
ok guys since my orcs are not on, kick? or punch? if I land a hit with kick makes the battle less longer.
>>
>>1120060
Punch to kill bandit 1
>>
>>1120060
punch and finish this guy off
>>
>>1120060
I'd say kick. You DO have a Fire and Flames stat boost
>>
>>1120060
Kick
>>
>>1120060
Nah, punch it. More likely to succeed, and with only one bandit left, we'll be golden.
>>
>>1120056
punch then please
>>
>>1120060
Oh sorry, punchu
>>
>>1120072
now he shows up
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1120071
Roll 1d6, YELLOWs
You get a +4
He gets a+1
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1120076
watch the fuckery
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1120076
>>
>>1120078
Ooh, so close. But he managed to dodge at the last minute.
Now it's up to FIB SMOGEE TO...do something
>>
>>1120082
yyyyyyeeeeeeeee
>>
>>1120082
Become the Alpha and the Omega in the Stab, Get Stabbed, Heal cycle and throw that knife at the bandit.
>>
>>1120082
Distraction Smoke rings at the bandits!
>>
>>1120089
can't we just put the burning end into his eye...
>>
>>1120082
As you live by the stab, you die by the shank, bandit.
Throw the knife at the bandito
>>
>>1120082
we are having a bad day it feels
>>
>>1120089
Fine, we can try the knife throw...
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1120091
>>1120096
Roll 1d6, GREENs
+3 fo you
+2 fo him
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1120106
Live by the knife, die by the shank
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1120106
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1120106
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1120106
Pruning knife gooo
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)
>>1120109
>>1120112
>>1120113
>>1120118
BANDIT SLAIN! ONE LEFT! AND HE'S AIMING FOR...
1 - Yellow
2- BLue
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1120121
BLUEs, roll 1d6
HE gets a +2
YOU gets a +2
>>
BSoD again I see
>>
>>1120123
Only like, a 17% chance of failure
Bluescreens out
Never change, Bluesquad
>>
>>1120129
F in piece
>>
>>1120129
is it over heating?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1120129
>>
>>1120134
It must've been that windows update from the Free Edition they gave me. I swear, those things are beta tests! I'm not paranoid!
>>
>>1120141
easy on the hash
Gobbo
>>
>>1120138
KTONK, the knife failed to hit any critical weakpoints, you are unharmed.
Now what do you do? Answer quickly before you bluescreen'd again
>>
>>1120144
Freeze
Ice ice baby
>>
>>1120147
why we need to kill him
>>
>>1120152
Without running away, a frozen enemy gives you a free hit
>>
>>1120152
for a free hit?
>>
>>1120152
You can use him as a club.
Also because I can
>>
>>1120152
Information might be better than a pittance of XP. I say we befriend the unscrupulous fellow and get him to tell us if there's any more traps.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1120147
Roll 1d6 and contend your +4 CHA to his +1
>>
>>1120162
shoot spider webs too.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1120162
Just.... CHILL
>>
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>>1120167
>>
>>1120167
Okay Arnie.
Now, Richard, it's your turn.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1120180
shoot arrows on unfrozen bandit
>>
>>1120180
should we kill the poor bastard? or keep him in his eternal frosty prision?
>>
>>1120184
There is only one bandit
>>
>>1120187
In Soviet Russia, Bandit fuck you
>>
>>1120187
But they fucked you
>>
>>1120184
>>1120185
Clearly brain problems are afoot
>>1120187
Well you did fuck one, so that's fair. Well he fucked you, but semantics.
>>
>>1120197
Good roll on that
>>
>>1120197
Hurriedly chow down on sandwich in crap evacuation preparation
>>
>>1120197
Hide behind the orc.
>>
>>1120197
Performance problems I see
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1120201
ask for some weed
>>
>>1120204
Fib'll use ability, Share Weed
Rolling for Dankness
>>
>>1120204
But will you get some?
>>
>>1120201
is it my turn?
>>
Rolled 321 (1d420)
>>1120204
>>
>>1120208
Stuff the frozen guy in our loot sack
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1120208
orc punch iced bandit.
>>
>>1120216
>>1120220
While Richard smoked some weed to calm the fuck down. There seems to be a matter of differing opinions going on.
>>
>>1120225
sorry dawg but it's my turn. Thems the rules yah dig?
>>
>>1120225
I don't see the issue. The dude gets crammed in a loot sack, then smashed. Bandit in a Bag
>>
>>1120225
[RETRIEVE FROZEN TARGET INTO ITEM CONTAINMENT FOR LATER INTEROGATION]]
[IGNORING YELLOW ORC]
>>
>>1120230
I wanna smash him, then you can cram him into a bag
>>
>>1120236
Unfortunately for Bing Bingie, it is Clackie Chan's turn, so he punched the bandit. BReaking the ice and reducing the villain to 1HP
>>
>>1120244
now you can have him
>>
>>1120230
shiiiiiieeeeeet man,
those meat shield guys need to chilax man
>>
>>1120248
Yeah dude, they're fucking sick.
>>
>>1120247
That said, what will Fib do now? It's his turn
>>
>>1120262
ask the bandit why he is doing this,..
>>
>>1120262
Offer the bandit to let him live in exchange for information
>>
>>1120267
"Because your mom never loved you"
>>
>>1120262
Tell the fellow he can get in the bag of wonders or go another round with Fisty the Orc
>>
>>1120273
And he didn't earn that moniker with his Orc Maga skills
>>
>>1120282
"Well duh, he's using Orc-fu"
>>
>>1120286
You're pretty learned in ancient monk fighting styles, for an INT 1 bandit
>>
>>1120286
or we could shove the goblin up your ass aND see what animal he turns into inside your rectum
>>
>>1120286
Like death would say
"GET IN THE BAG YOU MAGGOT!!!!! ITS OVER!!!"
>>
>>1120292
Wonder Twin powers, activate! Form of, Candiru!
>>
>>1120291
"We bandits have many hidden talents. Like bandit number 5 lying on the floor with his head punched off is actually very adept in sewing"
>>1120292
"The goblin's daily cooldown hasn't ended yet for him to do that"
>>1120293
"And you sir, are clearly high"
>>
>>1120299
Oh NO! not the dick fish! thats compleately against my dickreligion
>>
>>1120300
Ask if he has a retainer
>>
>>1120300
How did he know!? He's a witch, smoke him out!
>>
>>1120300
you don't know that
>>
>>1120309
"OH SHIT I'VE BEEN DISCOVERED. BANDIT WITCH(male) AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYY"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1120315
shoot him down
>>
>>1120315
Anti-aircraft battery! Fire! Looking at you Dick. Damn, we knocked his ass out.
>>
>>1120315
throw the goblin at him
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>1120315
ground air arrow deploied
>>
>>1120319
Can you even aim when you're as high as a kite
>>
>>1120328
Strap Fib to the end of the arrow. This can only go well.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)
>>1120328
hold his hands and help in aim, like in ghost
>>
>>1120325
Nooo! You'll kill me~~
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1120328
our anger towards bandits overruns weed
>>
>>1120332
I support this decision
>>
>>1120337
I knew giving him the last of our Vengeance OG Kush was a good idea
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>1120328
shooot
>>
Clearly this is the only solution
>>
>>1120347
Bingie, give us some Flight of the Valkyries
>>
>>1120347
fire
>>
Rolled 1 (1d6)
>>1120347
become the anger yourself and do precise shot
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1120347
Nooope nopenope get off the arrow.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>1120347
seems ok
shoot
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1120347
whisper in his ear:
by the power of greyskull
>>
>>1120354
Too late
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1120347
Rolling to blaze mid-flight
>>
Rolled 8 (1d420)
FIRED
Roll 1d420
>>
Rolled 48 (1d420)
>>1120364
BLAZE IT FAGGOT
>>
Rolled 334 (1d420)
>>1120364
I hate you all.
>>
Rolled 276 (1d420)
>>1120364
ANGER
N
G
E
R
>>
Rolled 211 (1d420)
>>1120364
>>
Rolled 378 (1d420)
>>1120364
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YOYlgvI1uE
>>
>>1120373
"Ah, I am slain....no thanks to the ranger himself, he didn't do shit, lmaoooooooooooobleeeuuurrrgghh"
The bandit died.
Also Fib is KO'd again
>>
Rolled 199 (1d420)
>>1120364
>>
>>1120381
give Fib the first aid and loot the bodies
>>
>>1120381
Catch Fib before he hits the ground into the loot sack
>>
>>1120381
I totally fucking hate you people.
>>
>>1120381
Quick, Clackie, catch me in you big orcly arms.
>>
>>1120381
dibs on the hat and broom
>>
>>1120381
someone needs some medicine
>>
>>1120381
Beep boop.
Suppository?
>>
>>1120381
catch fib
>>
>>1120390
I'll make a bid for the hat in exchange for 3 eighths of Blue Dream
Other than that I totally support the flying ranger
>>
>>1120387
>>1120386
LEt's compromise
>>
>>1120396
sounds good
ok loot up and level up!
>>
>>1120396
also when in doubt pinky out
>>
>>1120396
Starting to enjoy this
>>
>>1120396
loot!
>>
>>1120398
Heheh, we haven't even killed the Miniboss yet. I think we still have A Mucho Megamurder Machine somewhere down here.
>>
>>1120398
YOU GOT:
- NOTHING!
The witch(male) put a final curse upon himself. All his loot melts into nothing. There is none left. Not even his broom.
Oh and you haven't got enough EXP to level up either.
TO BE CONTINUED
Updates:https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>1120405
At least that spear is still somewhere around here. Thanks for the thread OP, solid 12 hours of entertainment
>>
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>1120405
thanks for the bread
no thanks for that stuff which happened
>>
>>1120409
What stuff
>>
>>1120405
Good bread, OP.
Maybe needs a little bit more salt, but that's just me.
>>
>>1120416
Butt stuff
>>
Never giving Dick my weed again. He has no impulse control. Also, bad for my health.
>>
>>1120416
the butt stuff
>>
>>1120419
Butt butt stuff's great stuff. Just ask your butt.
>>
>>1120420
it's medical marijuana at this point man, we need it to heal emotional trauma and to ease the umbearable pain of anal prolapse
>>
>>1120422
"You try getting wrecked by elf dick, nigga"
-butt
>>
Secretly, Richard enjoyed the butt stuff. Butt don't tell anyone.
>>
>>1120436
I don't think so.
I'm sure the elf enjoyed it, though
>>
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>>1120436
Even if he enjoyed it's still rape!
lock him up boys
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)
>>1120436
lies and slander
>>
Rolled 1 (1d1)
>>1120449
Rolling if he enjoyed it. If I roll more than one then he didn't
>>
Rolled 3 (1d6)
>>1120455
fake news
>>
>>1120455
Dice never lie
>>
>>
>>
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>>1120515
forgot mah pic
>>
>>1120518
But you see, I have proof
That I am the Law
>>
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>>1120524
We have a key witness
>>
>>1120619
Yes, well...OH SHIT LOOK OVER THERE
>>
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>>1120656
>>1120656
What's so interes....
FUCK!
Dispatch, this is Lt. Benson, suspect is on the run, I repeat suspect is on the run, he's on page 3 heading to page 4, intercept and arest.
I guess you're gonna have to run your next chapter from behind bars.
>>
I couldnt even get a nice hat.
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