Questin' in the Hills

>>110629
> Your sister
> Your girlfriend

>>110676

Oh yes, forgot to say - go ahead and choose up to two. You can write in as well.

>>110683
>Your sister girlfriend
>And your younger sister girlfriend

>>110694

> Sister-girlfriend, younger

Ah, damnit. You scratch your balls and slowly get up as she yells again.

'Oi!'

'What's the matter you?' You open the door and then she shrieks, the sort of shriek you've heard before - but at night, in more exciting times.

'There's a snake under the bed! I told you this was a bad place to set up! Quick, sort it out!'

'You oughtta be more polite about it,' you say, getting into the trailer.

'Aww. Please, brother...'

> Cletus
> Randolph
> Bill
> Write-in

>>110709
>Randolph

>>110709
Cletus

>>110709
jebediah. Or Jeb

>>110743
Ill second.

>>110744
>>110743
>>110737
>>110736

> We goin' with Jeb, then?
> Typin'.

>>110747
Jeb

>>110747

'... Jeb?'

You look at your girlfriend, who's also your sister. It's so hot inside she's only wearing her bra and panties. 'And what's in it for me, missy?'

'Jebediah, there's a freaking snake under the bed. Get it out first!'

You look at the bottom of the bed. You don't hear no rattling or anything. Is she seeing things?

> Reach your hand in there.
> Kick away the box inside.
> Grab your broomstick and poke inside.
> Lift the mattress so you can look into the bedframe.
> Other.

>>110750
Grab the broomstick and hoist the mattress up with it, see if we can see anything
"What'd it look like?"

>>110752

You look at your sister. Oh actually, you should introduce her.

> Jennifer.
> Sally.
> Betty.
> Belle.
> Other.

>>110765
Jennifer. Or Jenny. Jeb & Jenny, the innocent two who grew up together.

>>110773

'So what's it look like?'

'I dunno. Snake like.'

'Yeah, I mean... stand away, girl.' You get the broomstick and walk over. Poke, poke. Doesn't seem to be anything. 'Are you trippin', Jenny?'

'Whatever!' She throws on a t-shirt and storms out, just as you lift the mattress. Ah, your combined stank on this mattress - that's... wait.

> Roll 1d20. DC is 8.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>110791
Rollan

>>110791

Come on more rolls!

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>110808
Second roll

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>110808
Third roll

>>110810
>>110815

> Nice try...

>>110810
>>110815
>>110797

> Roll: 1
> CRIT FAIL

You just get a glimpse of it before it suddenly strikes.

'OH, FUCK!' You yell and swing at the snake, punching it in the head. It lets go and flies out the window, but on your left hand there's two deep wounds oozing blood. Jenny rushes in.

'I told you there- oh my GOD, Jeb! Oh my god!'

F-fuck. You don't know if that was a poisonous snake. You're gonna have to...

> G-go to the hippie healer just down the road.
> Try to go to the hospital, it's 2 hours away.
> It's fine, it's fine, we just need to stop the blood flow...
> Other.

>>110828
Well, this turned pleasant. Go to the hippie healer and ask Jenny to suck out the poison.

>>110833

Anyone else?

>>110833
Yeah, sure, this works.

>>110886
>>110833

'Oh GOD Oh GOD it bit you oh my GOD is it poison?'

'Sh-shut up, Jenny, and suck it.'

'Huh?'

'My hand, you dumbass!'

'Oh! I... what do I do, then?'

'Put your mouth to it and suck it. Then I'm going to the hippie healer down the road...'

'Suck it like your cock?'

'YES, SURE, DO THAT!'

'Okay, okay!' She gets down on her knees and closes her lips around the wounds and then sucks on it, softly moaning. But... wait, why the moaning? 'Get on it with girl!'

'Mmh mmmhh, hhhmmm!' She pulls away and wipes her mouth. 'I think I sucked it good.'

'Okay, good. Now spit it out.'

'Huh?'

'Spit it out.'

'But... you always want me to swallow...'

..................................... fuck. FUCK!

> Okay, let's carry her down with you before both of you die.
> Leave Jenny here - run down to the Hippie to get help!
> Other.

>>110896
> Okay, let's carry her down with you before both of you die.

>>110896
> Okay, let's carry her down with you before both of you die.

>>110896
>> Okay, let's carry her down with you before both of you die.
I hope the venom doesn't give us a stiffy.

>>110899
>>110900
>>110904

'Aww shit, you fucking stupid bitch, why'd you swallow the poison?' You stand straight in the room. Right, no, you're still fine. You're feeling a little chilly, but you're still fine. 'Come on. Get up.'

'You didn't tell me-'

'Just get up, Jenny, come on. We're gonna see Hippie before we both die.' You help her to her feet and she goes out ahead of you. 'Come on. You feeling dizzy?'

'No, just... a bit... mmrr... my muff...'

'Muff?'

'Nhhrr, muff!' She points at her mouth. Her lips are already getting swollen... aww shit. You turn around.

'Come on. I'll carry you. I'll carry out.'

Hippie better have antivenom...

> Roll d20. DC of 13.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>110911
>DC13
>For carrying lolis
Man, better be an oppai loli

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>110911

>>110913

This ain't for carrying Jennifer.

>>110915

Aww man, you fucking joking!

>>110920
That was a pretty short quest, huh

>>110922

> Nah, it'll be fine.
> Result: 1
> CRIT FAIL

Oof! Jenny's heavy on top of you. She's normally not this heavy when she's on top - but there's a bed, eh? You stagger down the road and Jenny cries, whimpering and drooling on you from her big, swollen lips.

'Mmrrghhh, uuuhguhh...'

'Sh sh shhh... hang in there baby doll... I... aight, there he is...'

You stumble towards the Hippie's trailer... and then suddenly you lose it. Just before you hit the ground, things go black.

>>110938

... oh, hello, you're in a dream now aren't you? Or... wait is this a dream? You're sitting at a table. Pretty nice table too. And then you remember - you know this table! It's, uh, it's uh...

Oh, we're doing flashback now, are we? Damnit. Okay, fine. Well, if you don't recall wrong...

> The crappy wooden table your parents would set up outside the trailer on hot days.
> The table at the local McKennan's that your dad always took you to after school.
> The solid oak table that held your childhood dinners, you and Jenny both.
> Other.

>>110944
>McKennan's

>>110949

Any more votes?

>>110944
>> The solid oak table that held your childhood dinners, you and Jenny both.

File: $_57.jpg (55KB, 1280x792px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 1280x792px

>>111037
>>110998
>>110949

Well, you remember the table well. That was when you were still living in a house instead of in your trailer.

That was when Dad and Mom were... then again, are they still around? Well, man...

> No. The house and the family were lost in fire.
> No. They got busted for their drug kitchen, and you got bounced around the care system.
> You don't know, man. You ran away with Jenny...

>>111052
>> You don't know, man. You ran away with Jenny...

>>111052
> you don't know man you ran away with jenny

>>111052
>You don't know, man. You ran away with Jenny...

>>111067
>>111104
>>111172

Well... you don't know, man. You ran away with Jenny, who is four years younger than you.

See, when you were a kid, you've always been... quite into your sister. And she was into you as well. So ever since you've been young, you've been kinda together. Jenny's the first girl you touched, and you've touched others too but well...

... anyway. So eventually, you couldn't hide it and ran away, and then...

'Oi. Oi there, Jebediah. Jebediah my man.'

You open your eyes to see the Hippie looking over you.

'Jebbie Jeb Jeb. How're you doing?'

> What say?

>>111203
"Jesus?"

>>111203
"Feels like I just ate at an all you can eat shit buffet. What do I look like, man?"

Check if our dick is okay

>>111217
>>111205

> Sorry, was away. Gimme a bit.

>>111376
How much of a bit you want, OP?

>>111467
>>111217
>>111205

'J... Jesus?'

'Hah, you!' The Hippie smacks your head around a bit. 'Right, Jebbie Jeb, you're fine now.'

'Fuck, don't...' you sigh. 'I feel like I had an all you can eat shit buffet.'

'I gave you some Valentinian and some antitoxin. You'll be fine I think. Jenny's okay too.'

You nod, then notice something and look down. Oh shit, man. Your cock. It's erect. Like, really really erect. 'Oh shit is that the poison?'

'The venom does that, sure.'

'What... what do I do then?'

'You gotta relieve it, I guess...? Anyway, what're you up to recently?'

> What have you been doing for a living? Remember it's a job that is appropriate to your current status.

>>111489
Bootlegger, the american job

>>111489
We're a stockholder. In name, at least. One of our friends apparently is getting super rich on the stock market, but he needed someone to have things in a name which isn't his. You don't know what he's doing with the name Jeb, but he pay you enough that you don't care. Used to be a janitor, but now you can go relax off with Jenny.

File: CC-123-128-1200.jpg (226KB, 1200x900px) Image search: [Google]

226KB, 1200x900px

>>111490
This. Your "Camero" is broken at the moment tho.

>>111598

Ooh, I quite like the sound of that...

Also. No smut on this board, right?

>>111616
Pastebin it, or post it anyway, fuck the police

>>111616
Smut seems to be A-OK on this board. We've had literal pictures of lolis maturbating in some quests

>>111602
>>111598
>>111490

'Me? Eh... the usual, I guess.'

'By usual do you mean running stuff?'

'Uh... yeah.' You do a little business now and then, sure. Sometimes it's running moonshine or unlicensed homebrew stuff to Wilmerston, and then on the way back you might get yourself a box or three of painkillers. There's always people to sell to out here in the woods.

'That's good.'

'Good? Why?' You try to sit up and... yeah, you can. No issues. You can also see Jenny outside - she's squatting, washing her face in a bucket, and her lips are still swollen. 'What, you got something for me?'

'Sure I do.'

'Say it.'

'You sure? You're still woozy from snakebite, no?'

'Nah. Say it man.'

'See. There's this guy in Wilmerston, he opened a trading account for equity options under my name and in exchange I get 4.5% of his annual returns.'

'... no, you gotta run that by me again.'

The Hippie sighs. 'He uses my name, right. To trade shares, right. Then I get a cut.'

'Ohhh. Oh that's clever.'

'Uh huh. But he hasn't been giving me my cut these last two months.'

'How much is your cut?'

'Keep yo questions, buddy. He's not answering calls and that. I'm a bit worried for him now. Also for my money, but I also fear for him.'

'Uh huh. Very kind.'

'I'm an empathetic person, Jeb. That's why I felt your pain, and Jenny's pain, and... why is it her lips that are swollen, Jeb?'

Uh. 'Ah, uh, my fault. I touched her accidentally.'

'Mmm. But anyway, yeah so. I need someone to go down check on him.'

'You mean to Wilmerston?'

'Naw, what the hell is there to trade in Wilmerston? No, no. I'm saying Tashville.'

... that's your hometown, man. You, uh, you're not sure you should, man.

> Why can't you go yourself?
> Eh. What's in it for me?
> I don't know, friend, I don't know if I oughtta. This sounds like trouble.
> Other.

>>111671
>> Eh. What's in it for me?

>>111735
> Other.
"Sure." The money will vanish, of course. Jeb isn't stupid. Did we answer too quickly? Did he get suspicious? Nah, all fine.

>>111779
>>111735

> Got back.
> Anyone else want to vote?

>>111735
>>111779

'What's in it for me?'

'I'll give you $500.'

... hey, does he think you're a fucking idiot? But just before you say no, you think about it. Missing man, eh? Money, eh? This could be your chance.

'Sure.'

'Just like that?'

Shit. 'Eh, well, $500 is a lot of money innit.'

'I guess it is. I'll give you $200 first.' He comes back with some bills. 'Should be enough to spend while looking for him. Then I'll give you the rest when you get back.'

'What am I supposed to bring back?'

'Well, some of the money he owes me, or news that he's dead, poor guy. Oh, if he were dead. But he'd be one more step in the circle of death and rebirth...'

... yeah, all right. 'Okay. Deal then, deal.'

>>115123

Deal done, you go out and get Jenny, whose lips have gone down a little. 'Mmbbebb.'

'Yeah. Does it hurt?'

'Nbh. Mmkehh.'

'Okay, good.' You take her hand and walk back with her. 'Eh, thanks for sucking it out.'

'Mmbh.'

You look around. But there's no one out here in these hills, and anyway no one outside Tashville knows you're brother and sister. So you give Jenny a kiss on the temple.

'Mm. Uh lhhf yuuhh Jubb.'

Back in the trailer you strip down and so does Jenny. She can talk again now.

'So what did the Hippie say to you?' She walks over and you wrap your arms around your sister/girlfriend.

> Explain it to her.
> Do her first.
> Eat her first.
> Other.

>>115158
>> Do her first.
I cannot for the life of me understand why you wanted to put this to a vote OP.