Sculpture quest

>>1103032
Vladimir Lenin

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>>1103060

You are a sculpture of Communist revolutionary Vladimir Lenin and have all the powers that an old school Communist revolutionary has. You have vague memories of almost being torn down in a town square when you were suddenly transported by a witch to a different world and granted life apparantly.

Now that you know who or what you are, what are you going to do now?


Roll a d100 to see how well you succeed or fail depending.

Rolled 87 (1d100)

Seize the means of production.

My fellow oppressed statues, we will let the foot of the fleshy bourgeoisie step on us no longer!

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>>1103166

A sudden gusto arises in you as you look around and see your fellow oppressed Sculptures and statues and some fancy rugs. You cannot believe that there is such oppression in this world! You start to speak from your heart, an impassioned speech about the rights of the bourgeois and how the working class cannot be oppressed forever. The upper crust of society shall not keep the Sculpture class down forever, you will rise up and push the capitalist Fleshy swine under your heel until all are equal in a glorious communist paradise free from western corruption.

Your speech is so impassioned and moving that the statues, sculptures, and rugs slowly start to come to life and begin to cheer your name and curse the Presitgious Prestigieux family who has been oppressing them for so long. "We shall be smashed no longer!" You shout as you lead the statues around the mansion, easily taking it over with your statue army.

You are now in control of the Presitigeux mansion and all of its wealth, and huge deposits of gold they were mining in the back yard.

What now, roll a d100 again.

>>1103234
Have the rugs form a hammer and sickle flag hanging from the front roof

Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>1103332

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>1103234
Take over the mansion next door. Claim all of their females.

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>>1103344
You attempt to direct the rugs into a proper Soviet flag but end up with some horrid abomination instead.


>>1103366
After finally having a proper flag setup you set your sights on the mansion next door, which seems to be much larger than the one you currently own.

You lead your Sculpture army into the mansion and easily take the mansion over, killing all the men inside and stealing all of their women, fleshy and stone alike.


The local government has been alerted to your Sculpture uprising and is sending forces your way.


What do?

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>1103373
diplomance the local government's forces. Convert them to our cause!

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>1103373
Why, we don't need to worry, we are priceless works of art that would be mourned forever if destroyed. Open negotiations with the local government.

File: COMMUNISM.jpg (10KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1103384
The local militia arrives at your land and lines up outside. They demand you come out and surrender the women and be smashed. You go outside and try another rousing speech to get them to join your side.

While a few of them seem to be rather convinced and almost join your cause their leader is much too disciplined to be swayed and commands all men to stay in line.
"Your cause is noble but it shall ultimately fail, because human greed will eventually take over and men will have to rule over other men"

>>1103415
You have trouble refuting his logic when suddenly a thought occurs to you . You look towards the commander with a huge smirk and calmly say "HUMAN greed may be endless but as you can see, we are priceless works of art, above monetary ideas and therefore can never be swayed by greed!"

Needless to say the commander is stunned, he stops to think for a second before he finally sighs and agrees to take you to the local ruler so you can negotiate with him directly.

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>1103450
Well then, let's go meet with their leader. But we'll go there in our oversized marble sculpture of a 1962 Lincoln Continental. We may be communists, but we travel stylishly.

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>>1103473
You wanna arrive in style seeing as your a top tier Communist revolutionary and all. You look for the true communist car, the 1962 Lincoln Continental! You then realize you're in some other world with medieval era technology so you only find a carriage statue to carry you there.

You follow after the militia commander and arrive at the local lord's manor in some style but not enough to be comfortable in. Once you enter, you see a middle aged man who appears to be the local lord of the area sitting at a negotiation table with an empty seat clearly meant for you.


What's your next course of action?

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>1103450
Propose construction of more gulags to counter human greed.

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>1103540
Convince the local leader to cede control of these lands to you. Acquire more females.

Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>1103540
Demand a good polishing.

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>1103540
NO NEGOTIATIONS WE ARE ALL EQUAL OR WE ARE ALL DEAD OR SMAHED!!!

>>1103553
You go into the meeting with supreme confidence, you once convinced an entire country to rebel and become communist so convincing this backwards principality should be a breeze.
After 10 minutes of negotiations, threats, bribes, and several sexual innuendos the local lord still hasn't ceded the territory so you instead give him an ultimatum

>>1103611
NO NEGOTIATIONS WE ARE ALL EQUAL OR WE ARE ALL DEAD OR SMAHED!!!
The local lord sighs as he knows his backwards militias cannot go against your glorious communist Statue army and eventually he cedes the territory over to you.

You are now in control of the Lautfaux province in the Kowtow kingdom, as the local lord you have free reign to oppress the people as much as you want.

>>1103543
And that's just what you do as you build several gulags around the Province to counter the human greed that is so rampant in the area, your first act being sending the local lord to the gulag.

>>1103591
After sending him to the gulag you have him tortured and demand that he give you a good polishing, he however did not catch your drift and refused to his death.

The kingdom as a whole has been alerted to your recent actions.

What is your next act as Local communist ruler?

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>1103628
Raise a statue army and prepare to march on the capitol. Then visit our harem and find the finest female statue.

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>1103650
>>1103628
FREE THE FEMALE STATUES!!! as they are equal to us!! THEN RAISE THE GLORIOUS STONE ARMIES

File: female.jpg (84KB, 640x960px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1103650
You realize the Kingdom will not let you have your glorious communist revolution quietly so you go to raise your statue army by enlisting all of the statues and sculptures in the Province!

>>1103668
You go and visit your Harem of sexy statues and a couple fleshy ladies to find your finest statue. But when you arrive you suddenly realize that they too are equal to you and instead of making passionate stone love with her you free them all and enlist them in your glorious communist stone army!

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>1103699
order the fleshy men and women to spread the ideals of communism to the surrounding provinces

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>>1103717
You attempt to order the fleshy humans to spread your glorious ideals of Communism to the surrounding provinces in order to cause social unrest but to your surprise they tell you no! They are disgruntled with your rule and believe that you put the interests of statues and sculptures above their own and have decided to rebel against your rule.

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>1103745
Put down this counter revolution not with stone fist but with unbreakable words WE SHALL NOT RAISE THE SWORDS TO OUR FLESHY BRETHREN

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>1103745
Woo the pretty stature- as an equal.

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>1103745
Put down their rebellion using love. And explosives if love doesn't work.

>>1103757
You look out at the rebelling masses as they arrive on your front lawn in a mass, you look out at your fleshy brothers and sisters and realize you were wrong. You leave your mansion and step out onto the lawn in front of them, with your hands raised. You look at them and speak

>>1103765
You speak with love, and explosive love for your fellow man and true equality for all! You finish your speech by loudly shouting.

"WE SHALL NOT RAISE THE SWORDS TO OUR FLESHY BRETHREN!"

Your words echo out among the crowd and they all drop their weapons and tears are brought to their eyes. They beg for forgiveness, and curse how they could of been so foolish before.

>>1103759
You then turn to the prettiest statue, grab her by the waist, dip her down and begin kissing her deeply. She is easily wooed by your splendor and is now your woman.

The rebellion is quelled and you wave to the statues to put the explosives away as you clearly do not need them. The province is 100 behind you no matter what you do, even the people in the gulag are.

You feel a strange warm feeling inside your body, you're unsure what it is but for some reason you feel that any speech made from now on will be much easier.

[You have gained the spell "Magnificent speech" Your words are like silk and you can easily manipulate reality to your will if you put enough effort behind it.] (You must declare your intent to use this spell, doing so will add 10 to a roll, can only be used once every 3 OP posts).


The Kingdoms armies grow ever closer and will arrive in 3 days time.

What is your next move, Glorious communist leadeR?

Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>1103815
Demand the Kingdom's army to stand down and embrace communism, for it is the one path to salvation

Rolled 83 (1d100)

Magnificent speech
>>1103815
ARM THE POPULACE AND MARCH AGAINST THE KINGDOM VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!!

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>1103815
Prepare defensive positions and choke points. Consult with the statues of Teddy Roosevelt and Dwight Eisenhower regarding our military strength. Don't talk to Patton though, he's been being really douchey lately.

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>1103850
FUCK YOU PATTON IS A GREAT GENERAL WE TALK TO HIM!!!

Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>1103859
If he's so great, why's he just a bust instead of a regular statue like the rest of us?

>>1103850
You consult with other statues from your world who would normally be your enemies but seeing as they are now living statues and not in charge of any countries they are happy to help you in your communist uprising! You setup strategic choke points and setup some top tier strategies to fuck with the Kingdom.

>>1103859
Patton refuses to talk with you

>>1103829
When the kingdoms army arrives you go out alone and attempt to negotiate with them to no success. These are trained soldiers and as such ignore everything you are saying and do not break formation.

>>1103836
Seeing that your eloquent words cannot reach the soldiers you sigh internally knowing they will soon die. You instead turn towards your own Statue and fleshy army and arouse their spirits with a magnificent speech and their screams visibly makes the Kingdoms army uncomfortable.

Roll for your armies success, will take the highest number.

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>1103871
then we make him into a full blown statue boi

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>1103815

Remember in a dream your exploits in negotiating the Brest-Litovsk treaty with Imperial Germany. Attempt to find out more about divisions within the invading armies that you can exploit.

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>1103878
or not

>>1103877
rolling for army success

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>1103881
Voting for this.

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>1103877
If it must be so

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>1103877
Use
SUPERIOR SOVIET TACTICS: DEEP BATTLE

>>1103891
OORAH

>>1103891
yooooo
>>1103888
but these gets doe

>>1103891
Your armies march at the evil capitalist army and easily push them back, the spirit of Communism is clearly on your side as you active your Superior Soviet Tactic known as Deep battle. The fleshy army has no idea how to handle your army and is eventually pushed back until they fully surrender. The commander announces to his troops that the battle is over. There are only 400 men left from the formerly massive army of the kingdom and they are absolutely frightened by your superior Red Army. They submit to you and join your cause instead of dying.

The only thing left between you and a fully communist kingdom is the royal family. What now?

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>1103909
SHOW THEM BORIS THE SENTIENT LOVE HAMMER(otherwise known as dildo) HE WILL DEAL WITH THEM

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>1103909
Make love to them. All of them.

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>1103909
Release them as ordinary citizens. True communism incorporates all.

>>1103915
You head towards the capital and the royal castle. After arriving you see yourself in, as this castle is a decadent western invention as a communist nation any and all citizens are allowed inside. After sending your men to search the castle you find the royal family hiding away in a secret room fearful for their lives. You then show them the Love Hammer and proceed to violate them with your odd magical device.

>>1103926
You then strip their status are monarchs and release them as ordinary citizens to fend for themselves in your new communist utopia.

>>1103924
You decide making love to them is inappropriate after what you have done earlier.

You are now the most powerful man in the kingdom as the leader of the new Communist government. Other kingdoms are wary of you but send envoys to try and establish good relations anyway.

What is your next move Glorious Leader?

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>1103979
TURN COUNTRY INTO UNION OF SOVIET REPUBLICS

>>1103993
shit

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>1103979
Write a smutty, tell-all novella about our revolution. But fudge some of the details to make us sound better.

>>1103993
You attempt to change the country into a the Union of Soviet Republics however the people are entirely against this. They have too much pride in the name of their country and will never be renamed so easily.

>>1104010
You attempt to write a tell-all novella about your revolution and the glorious communist party but you end up making it too tell-all and revealing the horrible atrocities you have committed in the gulags and your horrible treatment of the royal family prior to their release.

The people are once again up in revolt and foreign nations are backing their rebellion, there is also an empire from the west who is directly sending a subjugation army towards you.

What do?

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>1104030
Time for another inspirational speech!

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>>1104036
FUCK.

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>1104030
INSPIRATIONAL DANCE SO THAT THEY MAY FOLLOW ME AGAINST THE WESTERN COUNTRIES

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>1104030
SHIT SHIT SHIT BORIS HELP!!!

>>1104036
You smirk to yourself, you know how to solve this problem. Another speech should easily calm the masses, it is your specialty after all. You go on your balcony over looking the city and see the raging crowd, invading armies and statues being smashed in the street.

You give what you think to be the greatest inspirational speech you've ever come up with. The masses think differently and they storm the castle and arrive at your quarters.

>>1104044
In a last ditch effort to preserve your life you do a quick Communist dance to try and quell the masses. It fails miserably.

The people come and push you off the balcony, you land on the ground in front of the castle and smash, never to be reconstructed.

Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KYYVrBX4v0
It has been 20 years since the Statue led communist rebellion the Kowtow kingdom, the royal family has taken control of the throne once again and every year they hold a national "Statue smashing day" You are a statue in the house of Liatte and must now avoid getting smashed in the statue smashing in 5 days.


What kind of sculpture/statue are you?

>>1104057
Hitler, we are hitler

>>1104057
We are a statue of Einstein in full 90s kid mode with fucking moon shoes man.

File: 1 M2GTofOcobDE6lt4G3JaUA.jpg (201KB, 1200x800px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1104067
You are a statue of the great leader of the National Socialist party Adolf Hitler. You have all the powers that the great Aryan leader Adolf Hitler had in his prime. You must still avoid being smashed. And the people of the kingdom are very wary of sentient statues, choosing not to listen to a word they say.

What is your first move?

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>1104082
Start a humanitarian aid organization dedicated to helping everyone, flesh and stone alike.

>>1104082
Gather up the jewish statues and fleshy people

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>1104091

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>1104082
We sneakily kill everyone in the household and Remake mein kämpf but with statues as the purest race. After rallying all the statues with the book, we escape into the cellar, where we hide for a hundred years, and wait for either the kingdom, or the statue smashing day to die.

>>1104098
Damn am I the only one with good rolls?

>>1104109
yeah Imma go now...because of these shit rolls

>>1104114
Naw man. You just forgot the offering to the dice gods. Did you remember to baptize every die in your home with goats blood?

>>1104088
You attempt to try and help people but they see a moving statue and attempt to smash you. You are now a fugitive.


>>1104099
To get revenge against them when you only tried to help everyone. You go about sneakily killing all the members of the house hold and writing a new rendition of Mein Kampf with Statues and sculptures as the true master race as opposed to Aryan fleshy men. You then hide in the cellar until everything blows over.


After waiting for 200 years you finally emerge from the cellar only to find the house above is now a boarding house for servant statues. After talking to one of the statues you find out that the Kingdom to the west now the Texas Empire took over the Kowtow kingdom some 160 years ago and has enacted new laws. Sculpture smashing day is no longer a thing and statues are not destroyed on sight. They have however been demoted to second class citizens and servants to the Fleshy ones.


What is your next course of action?

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>1104119
Review the battles of the ancient statue revolution, namely the DEEP BATTLE, to improve military skill

>>1104125
You try and review the battles of the ancient Statue communist revolution but find only limited materials. Apparently the empire has wiped all records and the only things left of it are passed around by statues and sculptures a like in hushed secrecy.

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>1104128
Play upon these rumors- attempt to revitalize the spark of revolution.

>>1104136
You speak to the local statues and convince them that Stone is superior to flesh. You will be second-class citizens no longer!

You are now in control of the Statue boarding house. hushed rumors spread about you and your cause among statues across the the entire province.


What next?

>>1104145
SURPRISE IT WAS I LENIN ALL ALONG

>>1104153
It was ME LENIN-DES

Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>1104145
For 40 long years, slowly turn the entire fleshy population of the province to believe that statues are the greatest things on earth and that serving them is the true path to heaven.

>>1104171
Guess that's where the good rolls end.

>>1104171
You spend the next 40 years slowly spreading the propaganda in the minds of the people that statues are actually superior to the fleshy ones and they should follow them eternally. However to your surprise after 40 years nobody seems to catch on and people seem to hate statues even more for whatever reason.

>>1104153
>>1104155
You also feel like the name lenin means something to you but you ignore the thought and never bring it up again as you are clearly Adolf Hitler.

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>1104176
Join the local football team as a linebacker, then become the greatest player of all time due to our clearly superior store physique.

This is probably the most creative thing I've seen here in a long time.

>>1104202
You join the local Football team only to find out that it's not superior American Football but that sissy European soccerfootball. You join the team anyway and tell em you want to be a line backer, they give you a weird look and you become the new towel boy for the entire team.

On the plus side the team goes on to become the province champions due to your great job at washing towels.

What's the next step in your master plan, Adolf?

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>1104213
Through our excellent managerial and negotiating skills, we become the team's general manager somehow.

>>1104219
Through your excellent managerial and negotiating skills you have successfully negotiated your way out of a job. The team kicks you out into the street. You are now alone in a foreign kingdom with pennies to your name and 3 dirty towels. To top it all off you are Adolf Hitler.

How will you make things worse, Adolf?

Just got here, what's the general gist of things

>>1104242
As Vladimir Lenin a successful communist rebellion was made turning a kingdom into a communist paradise until he became corrupt and was overthrown and smashed. You are now a down on his luck statue Adolf Hitler 240 years later in a foreign kingdom.

>>1104236
Try to find a dragon and make him your pet

>>1104254
You have to roll a d100 to see how well you either succeed or fail.

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>1104258
Oh yes my bad

File: Lubjana dragon 1.jpg (80KB, 1024x683px) Image search: [Google]

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>>1104254
>>1104264
You wander through the forests of this unknown kingdom until you end up at a rather spoopy part of the forest. When you suddenly find a giant sculpture of a dragon! He looks at you curiously but upon seeing that you too are a statue he immediately becomes friendly.

You have now a giant pet stone dragon to rain death upon your enemies.

Things are looking up, Adolf, what is your next move?

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>1104276
Let the dragon abduct scientist so we can build something big like a doomsday machine

>>1104296
You command your new dragon pet to abduct some scientists so you can build a doomsday device which you shall call the Heisenberg device! However after several hours your dragon pet comes back empty handed as this is a fantasy world and scientists aren't really a thing for a few hundred more years at the least.

The local villagers are aware of the giant dragon flying around the forest and have hired a knight to come and attempt to slay the beast.

What is your next move?

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>1104317
Let the dragon kill the knight and drop his corpse at the town hall of the village!Nobody shall attack towel hitlers dragon.

>>1104341
You command your dragon to kill the knight which he does rather easily. Then you have him drop the knight at the town hall to scare the villagers.

They now fear going into the forest and also fear retribution from the dragon, the locals have started to worship the dragon as a lower deity and the dragon grow noticeably stronger because of this.


The adventurers guild places a large bounty on the dragon as a response.

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>1104358
Backstab the dragon and take its head to the adventurer's guild for cash money.

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>1104358
Try to make a cult that worships hitler and the dragon.For the flag we will use the three towels as symbol.Also we should try to attract more knights because killing makes us well known.

>>1104382
You attempt to back stab the dragon but just as you are heading towards the adventurers guild you hear shouts from the forest and are captured by adventurers! The dragon has actually backstabbed you! He claimed you were forcing him to do the terrible things and are in fact a powerful lich king who has had his power sealed!

>>1104383
The villagers no longer wish to worship you or the dragon after hearing the story the dragon has come up with.

You are now in the dungeon of the adventurers guild in a cell all alone. What next then, Adolf?

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>1104397
Try to break out at night and kill the guild while they sleep.Also lets look for a treasure room maybe we can find some magic stuff.After that we should think about revenge....

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>1104397
>powerful lich king who has had his power
How would we be powerful if we had no power!?!?

Loudly rant about repression and adventurer elitism until they take pity on you or put you out of your misery.

>>1104421
You begin to yell and complain loudly about the unfairness of the world and how you've been unfairly treated! The guards finally take pity on you and decide to put you out of your misery but just as they plan to..

>>1104416
You over power them! Using your superior Aryan stone body you easily dispose of the two guards and escape from your cell. You ascend to the higher levels of the guild to see everyone asleep. You quickly dispatch everyone in the guild and begin to look for a treasure room.
After looking for several hours you finally happen upon a room filled with gold coins, and various other treasures. However just as you are about to start taking stuff you hear noises and shouts, clearly some strong people have arrived late in the night to rest and have seen the scene. You quickly grab several items and run.

Roll a d100 to see how powerful the items you got are.

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>1104429
Lets hope for a magic towel!And then slaugther them!

>>1104432
You get away from the people and recoup just outside of town. You look at the stuff in your hands and find 3 objects that stand out to you.

A towel that seems to radiate magic
A book titled "Arcane magic for dummies"
And a signed picture of Danny Devito lifting 500 pounds with ease.


What next?

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>1104439
Lets read the book maybe we can learn something about magic.After that we should figure out what magic powers the towel has.

>>1104452
You read the book "Arcane magic for dummies" and suddenly like a light everything just clicks, you understand the universe in a way you never thought possible. The secrets of magic lay before you in this book and if you master it you could do anything.
However, you are almost illiterate and cannot make out much of the book and only manage to gain a cursory grasp of the Arcane.
[ You can cast spells with varying levels of success. Announce you wish to cast a spell and then, along with your chosen action roll a d100 for a success.]

You then examine the towel and can't find much use for it other than to keep you dry.

The men draw ever closer towards your location.

What now?

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>1104466
So lets try to cast kamehameha to kill the enemys and destroy the town they deserve this.When this is done we should leave the scene and try to reach a big city to hide inside.

>>1104490
You position your hands together and start to gather energy in them you can feel the power flowing from the universe into your hands. You start to shout "Kaaammmeeeee - hammmmeeee haaaaaa!!" And you release all the energy out, but it doesn't appear as a laser beam or anything to that effect instead it just lets off a bright light alerting the guards to your location.

The guards appear in front of you swords drawn and with a smile they slowly approach you clearly looking to go for the kill..

What is your next brilliant strategy, Adolf?

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>1104498
So since we will be dead soon lets try to teleport away somewhere safe,while doing that throw the towel at them.

>>1104509
You begin to fear for your life as you see them approaching you throw your seemingly magic towel at them to momentarily distract them. You also try and use the magic to teleport away which, surprisingly ends up being successful. You see a scene of the towel landing on of the men's face before you are violently whisked away to some unknown location...


You suddenly look around as you appear to be on top of a mountain in an unknown location.

Any plans then, Adolf?

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>1104520
Use the magic to create some golem workers and start digging inside the mountain.We will build a big castle inside the mountain because everything above earth tries to kill us.After the castle is finished we make workshops to rise an army of golems.

>>1104542
You look down at the mountain and decide this the perfect place to start something. You gather your basic magic and attempt to create some work golems which you succeed in doing...HOWEVER they refuse to listen to you and instead they form a Punk band and take the kingdom by storm until the drummer dies of Golem cancer and they break up before getting a new drummer in the form of the dragon who back stabbed you and become a kids-oriented metal band that spreads golem cancer awareness as well as proper oral hygiene and basically you're still on this mountain.

What next, Adolf?

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>1104552
Look around maybe we can find an old empty castle to hide inside.Then use the next 100 years to improve our magic knowledge.Maybe we can become a great wizard or necromancer.

>>1104569
You feel a bit depressed at not having any golem servants but at the same time their musical is pretty good. With a sigh you look around and to your surprise right behind you where you never looked up until this point there just happens to be a giant vacant castle you can live in filled with extra magic tomes you can read and enhance your knowledge of the magical arts. You spend the next 100 years trying to learn as much magic as possible and eventually it becomes much easier for you to cast spells and you feel much more powerful. However your magic is still greatly limited because you still cannot read very well..

What is your next move, Adolf?

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>1104574
We will try it again.
We create worker golems so they can create a big kingdom around our castle and start building some army golems.
Also we try to improve the reading.

>>1104582
You try to make more golems who maybe aren't good at music this time but fail miserably and just end up teleporting your previous golems as well as the dragon to your castle. When they see you they feel pity for your poor reading skills and try to help you read but the dragon being the huge dick he is stops them and insists they have to leave. But before they leave he burns your castle down and you barely escape. All the texts are lost, you only have "Arcane magic for dummies" left and are now on top of a mountain alone again.

How can things get worse for poor old Adolf Hitler statue?

Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>1104591
Lets try to find the dragon and end this shame in a deathmatch!
If we win we will take care of the golem band afterwards.

>>1104598
You feel a raging fire burning inside you! Nobody shames Statue Adolf Hitler like this! You gather your magic and immediately teleport yourself to the location of that diabolical dragon! You find yourself on stage at the biggest concert venue in the entire country, their band was clearly playing a sold out concert here in front of millions of people. You turn towards the Dragon Drummer and immediately challenge him to a fight to the death here in front of the entire kingdom!

The dragon looks at you smirks "My power is untold, I am the greatest of stone being next to Stone Lenin himself! None can match my arcane power let alone some small mustached man like you!" He shouts pompously in front of the crowd clearly trying to humiliate you! He then brings out like 6 swords, grows 6 arms and has a sword in each hand! He's clearly an expert when it comes to death matches.

How will you resolve this situation, Adolf?

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>1104605
Lets go for the good old kamehameha and blast him and everyone around into oblivion.If we survive this grab some merchandise of the golem band...for reasons...

>>1104610
You look at the menacing six-armed dragon before you and a chill enters your body, he may not be joking when he says he's the strongest since Stone Lenin. However you are Stone Adolf Hitler, while that may not mean much in this world you still believe that you are the true Master race! You steel your stony resolve and try another Kamehameha blast. You put your hands together and gather the energy and slow you shout "KAMEEEEEEE HAMEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAA!" and blast a large blue blast of energy at the dragon in front of you!

The dragon is shocked by your display of power but only for a second he then shouts "Lightning sword fist" and launches his own lightning blast at your beam. The two beams collide in the air and cause a massive explosion. It appears they are evenly matched at first but slowly your Kamahameha eventually wins out and overwhelms the dragon as well as the audience.

The dragon is dead and you are now the most power stone being alive today. The audience of millions is also dead. The golem band sees your arcane prowess and submits to you right there.

You are now a wanted fugitive in the Scienfyien kingdom for having killed a famous figure as well as millions of other non-famous and therefore less important but still semi-important people. This debt shall never end and you are eternally a villain here. The kingdom is sending their most powerful wizards and swordsman to come and destroy you.

What next Arcane mage, Adolf?

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>1104627
Grab a golem band cap to wear it.We design a flag with three towels on it and after that we try to be the biggest necromancer in history.We try to get the million dead people back to life to serve the holy towels.

>>1104636
You attempt to grab a golem band cap but the golems have already destroyed them since they are no longer in the band anymore and do not wish to associated with it henceforth. You shrug your shoulders and attempt a resurrection spell at the crowd. IT fails miserably and you instead prevent their souls from reincarnating and have trapped them in this spot for all eternity to live as wayward spirits who have nothing but hatred for you and all stone creatures in this world. You also revived the stone dragon who upon seeing the evil spirit army immediately flees and swears revenge upon you eternally.

Choose your next move wisely, Adolf.

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>1104644
Well time to leave this graveyard.Cast teleportaion and try to get adolf and the golems somewhere safe like a cave far away.Im sure they wont look for us that long.And then we will build the golem reich.

>>1104655
You look out at your work, the suffering you have caused and you don't seem to really care you just shrug your shoulders and turn to your golems. You look at them for a second then decide it'd be best to leave quickly, you begin a teleportation spell. You're hoping to teleport to some cave somewhere where you can consolidate your power and maybe start a golem reich and reach unprecedented levels of power.

The arcane however had other plans, instead of a cave you teleport directly into the throne room of the kingdom during a meeting with the top generals and the king.


You are in one tight situation now, Adolf, what is your next move?

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>1104660
Speak to the king and try to tell him that it would be the best for everyone that they make you the king.If he disagres challenge him to a deathmatch.

>>1104663
You look at the king with a rather arrogant look and demand that he make you king lest he face the consequences. The king looks at you like you're a madman and orders his army to subdue you. His top generals come out and cast various spells as well as shooting guns, you're pretty sure one is shooting black flames and has an eyepatch on since this is apparently some weird fantasy sci-fi anime kingdom. You immediately yell for the king to accept your duel to the death!
He looks you over and scoffs before he says "I suppose It could relieve my momentary boredom" he gets up from his throne and you can tell he's much stronger than the generals who easily subdued you.


This will not be an easy battle, Adolf, how do you plan on handling it?

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>1104669
Lets try kamehameha again but this time dont kill everyone just the king.Also insult his mother while doing this.After that smoke a cigar like the bad ass adolf is.

>>1104671
You feel a little intimidated by the kings obvious power but nonetheless your old buddy Kamehameha hasn't failed you yet except that one time that it did fail you. You put your hands together and once again shout out "KAMMMEEE HAMMMEEEEEEE HAAA!" the blue light once more flows from your hands and towards the king who is taken by surprise from your attack. He begins to block the attack and it seems like he's going to be okay but then you think of an awesome insult "Your mother is a fat cow" you yell at him. This small insult is just enough to cause him to lose concentration so despite his larger power he still ends up nothing but dust in front of you.
Then you pull out a cigar and light it with magic like a badass mother fucker because you're Adolf Hitler and you do what you want.

The generals in the room are shocked by this but unperturbed. You are already a sword enemy of the kingdom and this can never be reconciled.

Brace yourself for combat once more Adolf, things are getting frisky.

Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>1104674
Try to cast an electric bolt and roast everything that is in the castle and a mile around it,afterwards take the molten crown of the king to wear it.We now have a new castle.

>>1104682
You look around and don't feel worried in the slightest, you can feel the magic power flowing through you. Electricity crackles in the air around you as your power slowly grows you then extend your hand and a large bolt of electricity flows from it destroying everything in and around the castle for a mile around. The area has been devastated so much it has become uninhabitable for several hundred years to come. Even the area not directly affected by the blast has been devastated, crops will no longer grow for 10 miles around the royal capital. For some magical plot-driven reason the kings half melted crown still remains and you promptly put it on your head as a show that YOU are now king of this kingdom. Nobody is there to see it however and you are lacking a castle due to your recent out burst but it's still a symbolic victory and makes you feel a little better on the inside.

You are now the king of this kingdom, all shall respect your power though they all hate you for your terrible atrocities you have committed. They will not throw their lives away trying to fight you anymore.

How will you rule your Empire of dirt then, Adolf?

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>1104687
And now we will create a lot of golems and build a big hill like an ant nest.
Inside the hill will be our new throne room and it should have space for thousands of golems.
On top of the hill comes the new flag a
Really big flag with towels as symbol.
When the new army is finished we will take the world...

>>1104692
Looking around at the rubble and destruction you have caused you see an opportunity to create an ant-styled fortress of terror! You start to channel your arcane power into creating more golems around you! However just as you start to form the image in your mind you suddenly find your powers no longer work. You feel them being drained by the half melted crown you now wear on your head, clearly there is some kind of sealing curse on this crown that blocks out magic power!

You are now a normal walking, talking statue of Adolf Hitler with no magical powers whatsoever. In the middle of a wasteland for miles around with nothing to your name once again.

What will you do, poor old Adolf?

Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>1104694
Take a walk to the next country for a fresh start where nobody knows adolf.
Also throw the crown into trash we no longer need it.
And hope the damn dragon will not find us.

>>1104698
You try to walk to the neighboring country hoping nobody recognizes you. Everyone does because the Dragon you hate is the king of this kingdom and also you killed millions of people in the biggest concert venue in the other kingdom on live magic space anime tv or whatever don't think too hard about it, so everyone knows who you are you fucking maniac. Also, the crown wont come off so you have no magic and the dragon flies from the sky for a final death match with you.

You're pretty fucked but you kind of deserve it, I mean fuck even Lenin helped people. What's your next strategy then, Adolf?

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>1104700
Try to headbutt the damn dragon maybe the crown has a spike or two left.Also insult him in german while we charge him.

>>1104704
You attempt to head butt the dragon while fiercely shouting incoherent German at him, and while this catches him off guard he is ultimately unharmed. "Is this all you have, the great Stone Adolf Hitler is reduced to this? I'm rather disappointed" the stone dragon says before he unsheathes his katana. He then teleports behind you really fast and stabs you in the back "Heh nothing personell" he says before he withdraws his blade. He then rises into the sky and shouts "I AM THE GREATEST STONE BEING EVER, LENIN BE DAMNED! THE STONE KING SHALL LIVE ETERNAL" before he heads back to his throne room to make passionate love to his many many wives.


You have been defeated by the great stone dragon and are now a smashed statue. Your evil legacy lasts for untold generations as the curses and scars you left upon this world and the other kingdom will not heal so easily. Your soul enters the cycle of reincarnation to be reborn once again....


----

That'll be all then since I've been running for about 7 hours now. I hope you enjoyed it! I plan on doing a few more with the same sentient statue theme later this week when I'm off work around Wednesday or so. I'll be using this tripcode at that time so you can recognize me.

>>1104709
I enjoyed it see you next

>>1104709
I vote we have lenin be reborn next time