Something quest

>>1038574
West

>>1038582
You can't really tell which way is which, as it's 12:00, but you scratch a compass rose into the dirt. You go west.

Eventually you find a river. Crystal clear blue water runs past, giving the forest scene a serene backround noise. You would feel at peace with nature, but there is a Dead body on the river.

Directions are east and south.

>>1038591
North

>>1038632
Fuck this direction shit. Your not gonna be tethered to some list. You go north.

it's so cold. So very very cold.

You are in the void outside existence.
Directions are meaningless, but you could probably move south.

There is an ice chest here.

>>1038664
Open the ice chest

>>1038728
You crack open the lid of the red cooler. Inside is ice. Rooting around you find a CAN OF MOUNTAIN DEW. On the inside of the cooler lid is a post it note.

"Hey bro, I left it in here for you. Cheers!" - tony

Object acquired : MOUNTAIN DEW!

Seeing nothing else in the void, you slip back through reality and find yourself back at the river.

>>1038869
Go south

>>1038908
You head south.

There is a goblin here. He is standing in front of a cave. The neon sign says "girls, girls, girls."

Directions are north and south

>>1039001
>Go in

>>1039003
The goblin won't let you.
He says your not a member.

>>1039021
Bribe the goblin with the wicked elixir

>>1039107
The goblin refuses the proffered MOUNTAIN DEW. He says he is trying to cut down his sugar intake.

>>1039124
tell the goblin if he's worried about becoming fat he shouldnt. it's not about good looks but whats on the inside that counts

>>1039556
The goblin flexes his muscles, saying that the job of a bouncer relies on his physique.
He tells you to scram.

Directions are south and north.

>>1039795
ask goblin how does into member?

>>1039810
The goblin says that you'd need to pay a membership fee of 500,000 dollars.
This is an exclusive club.

>>1039832
Lie to him that the DEW is sugar-free.

>>1039832
thank goblin
go south

>>1039847
I vote for this instead of mine

>>1039847
The goblin is ignoring you

>>1039849
You go south. You find yourself in a magic mushroom garden. There appear to be 3 types of mushroom here. Red, green, and blue.

There is a witch here.

Directions are north and bananas.

>>1039870
Offer the witch our powerful alchemical reagent in exchange for information about and access to the mushrooms.

>>1039870
Offer to share the dew in exchange for a one night stand with the witch.

>>1039884
The witch says she does not need the dew, and that she will happily give you all the mushrooms you want as long as you get something for her.

She needs a book by the name of GETTING WASTED ON MUSHROOMS FOR DUMMIES

>>1039920
Ask her where this book might be.

>>1039899
You consider it, but she's far too much of a withered crone for you to go through with it.

>>1039936
The witch says it's a particularly rare volume, and that you might want to try horatio the traveling merchants collection.

>>1039948
I guess we go bananas now.

>>1039948
tell witch that you'll happily give her the book if you find it, ask if you can have 1 of each color shroom to take with you in the meantime for science

>>1039964
You go bananas and flip the fuck out. The witch watches with curiousity.

>>1039971
She tells you to go ahead. You have now acquired a CONVENIENT NUMBER OF MUSHROOMS. This number is just enough that you probably won't have to keep coming back here.

Items added: RED MUSSOOM, BLUE MUSHROOM, GREEN MUSHROOM!

directions are now irrelevant in rooms you've already explored. Although you will still need to state direction to go new places, you can just say where you want to go.

>>1040010
go east

>>1040067
You return to the compass room and go east this time.

You find yourself on a cliff. There is a path down to a road far below.

Directions are west, north, and down.

>>1040107
go down

>>1040143
You go down and find yourself on the road. There is a large boulder blocking any passage east. You can hear shouting from behind it.

A voice shouts hello. It says it is trapped behind this rock and would very much like to get free so it may sell its wares in town.

Directions are east and west.

>>1040164
ask dat nigga if hes Horatio and if he's got any books on mushrooms

>>1040164
Shit, we need to get hench. Eat a RED MUSHROOM.

>>1040230
The voice responds that it is in fact horatio. He assumes your looking for GETTING WASTED FOR DUMMIES.

>>1040265
Hoping that the red mushroom will have strength giving abilities, you pop it in your mouth.

You feel something but your not sure what.
RED MUSHROOM EFFECT DISCOVERED: POWER OF SEDUCTION

>>1040344
tell him if he gives you the book now you'll come help him later

>>1040356
He says you bismerch his character by assuming him a fool. Also he is too weak to throw that far.

>>1040417
get your shit together horatio, you trapped weak fool
if I had my druthers, I'd smash my only can of mountain dew on your forehead

eat blue mushroom and go east

>>1040344
>Power of Seduction
Give Horatio a handy while you free him from the rock.

>>1040472
>>1040472
You tell horatio he sucks, which he agrees with.

>>1040631
The rock is big enough it would probably take a large explosion to remove.

You pop a blue mushroom.
BLUE MUSHROOM ABOLITY DISCOVERED: SWEET ASS

>>1040631
This nigga wants crack. I say same but grab his gold and cool shit

>>1041020
So I have a sweet ass now?

Heading east, you arrive at "town."
It appears to be a collection of two buildings.
One is a shack, next to a boarded up cave entrance, and the other is a little shack. It probably belongs to the witch, as there is a path leading from behind it up to where the witch was.

Directions are west and up.

>>1041035
yes indeed, but it only lasts for a short while.

By the way, I'm updating this on mobile on the bus, which is why my id is changing.

>>1041089
knock on door of big shack

>>1041144
you knock on the door. A stout woman answers the door.

She says if your looking for her husband the miner, he's away on business.

Near the bed inside you can see a KEY.

>>1041162
ask her if she would like a mountain dew in exchange for that key

>>1041169
She tells you that her husband sealed up the mine on purpose and that she won't give you the key.

>>1041162
>>1041169
or maybe she can just let you in and have some of your sweet ass

>>1041193
She doesn't seem convinced.
You currently have no mushroom effects active.

>>1041219
>>1041219
go back to witch and tell her you found Horatio and he has the book but he wants 3 types of each mushroom for the book

>>1041114
This is why I name fag

>>1041308
>Three types of each

>>1041308
You have a bunch of each mushroom dingus.

If you were to find some kind of explosive, like say, one used in mining, you could blow up the rock.

>>1041360
shouldn't you trip fag, aswell? name related

>>1041387
I thought I just had one of each

>>1041415
IMPOSTER

>>1041219
Did we ever try the other shroom
If not

When in Rome

>>1041498
But during the Stone Age...

You pop the blue mushroom in your mouth.
BLUE MUSHROOM EFFECT DISCOVERED: WALL CLIMBING
(Remember that the effects are short.)

>>1041524
Climb her walls and steal that key all sneaky breaky

>>1048293
You climb the walls and retrieve the key.
Unfortunately, it is lubricated with a thick white liquid and you drop it immediately.

You wonder what that key was used for...
Certain repressed memories begin to surface from your time in the slammer.