Freebooterz: An Ork Tale

>>1020646
>Get on one of the assault boats and BOARD the BIGGEST ship they have.

Let's CHOP UP some 'UMIES.

>>1020646
>Get on one of the assault boats and BOARD the BIGGEST ship they have.

The good stuff iz ALWAYS on the big 'un!

>>1020673
>>1020708
Called for BOARDING

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>>1020673
>>1020708
You decide to board with your boyz, Gork knows, you need the exercise after not having a decent fight out in space for the last couple weeks? Months? ZOG IT!

You reach up to the ceiling of the Bridge and pull out your Big Choppa, Deh-Stroyer, and strap it on your back, suddenly remembering to get your komm-bead-fingy you looted from some 'umies a while back and had Wregz, Da Masha's resident mekboy, all excited and got working for the whole crew.

"Droofa! 'Dere bettah be a Krooza 'ere wen I'm back!" you shout as you leave the Bridge, Droofa giving you a hasty salute in response before diligently manning the Bridge by himself.

Sprinting down the Krooza with thunderous footfalls, you get onto the first assault boat you can find and leap in, knocking all da boyz inside until you can find a seat. Glaring at the git in control of the assault boat, you grab his face and slam it into the glass of the cockpit, pointing at the largest of the Chaos ships. He grunts and you let him go, sitting down at your seat and revving up your Big Choppa, finding that the thing isn't turning on properly.

"Lemme see dat fing, Boss."

Looking up, you trace the soft-spoken voice to Da Masha's Kommando Nob, Modbragg Shootsnik.

Handing the weapon to him, he tinkers with the machinery for a few tenuous seconds before handing it back carefully into your impatient Ork arms. "Oi! You'z fixed up Deh-Stroyer roight quick! Modbragg, you not tellin' me sumfink?" you ask incredulously.

"Nah Boss, I just knows howz ta fix choppas liek dat wun. Izn't too 'ard wen ya git down ta it."

Shrugging your shoulders and attributing this to being one of those sneaky Blood-Axe gits, the assault boat becomes quiet for a moment as the ship launches into space and thrusts itself like a thunderbolt towards the biggest of the Chaos attackers. The gunners on the boat go absolutely nuts, opening fire on the wide variety of Chaos fighters and other ships in space, most missing due to typical Ork gunmanship, but some hits land on target, shredding their targets to pieces and exploding them in an instant.

Taking a heavy assortment of fire, the boat shakes, and for a moment, it seems like the craft might be torn asunder in space, a suggestion that is taken badly by the boyz, you included. Dying before getting to meet the enemy is one of the biggest disappointments an Ork could possibly experience, alongside missing out on loot or a fight, of course.

You are, thank Gork and Mork, able to make your way your target, a Chaos ship with the big 'umie letters attached to the front, maybe making it looted like another Ork ship. You hear that Spiky boyz like to do that to regular 'umie ships.

(1/2)

>>1020908
Slamming into the Chaos ship like a meteor, you and the boyz engage in raucous laughter as explosions rock the enemy craft over and over, the constant shaking washing over your craft giving solid evidence of the fact. The pilot pushes his way through the mob and pulls the most important lever in the boat, and the boat opens up into the enemy ship, every Ork inside roaring WAAAAAGH! as they storm outwards.

You and your crew come to find themselves surrounded by 'umie gits with rifles, stubbers and autoguns and even a heavy bolter all spraying their hot, deadly death into the tide of Green flowing into their ship. As a few of your boyz are blown to bits in front of you during the charge, you grab the nearest git you can find and toss him straight at the heavy bolter gunner, crushing the 'umie so badly he explodes in a shower of gore. Laughing at the sight, your boyz continue their furious charge, catching up to the Heretikz, you remember what the regular 'umies call them, and beginning the real chopping.

Rusty steel and bent edges rip, tear, and rend through pink human flesh with impunity as the battle soon becomes a melee, combat that the enemy has no chance at winning. Drawing Deh-Stroyah, you slice one of the heretikz in half, before catching a combat knife from his friend in your teef and grinning at the human weakling. Frozen by your stare, you reach your arm back and wind up, then send a massive green fist into the 'umie, quite literally going through the fleshy bits, reducing him to a boneless ragdoll.

"Bah! Dese 'umies aren't 'ard at all!" you roar as you grab another heretik and headbutt him through his chainsword, leaving a slight gash on your head but sending him flying into a nearby wall, his arm, a leg, and his neck twisting in an impossible fashion on impact.

"Da 'ard Chaos boyz iz alwayz on da bridge, Kaptin!" Modbragg yells back as he blasts a group of 'umies to pieces with his Kustom-shoota, splattering even more 'umies with bone shrapnel and riddling them full of holes made from the stuff.

So that's it then, you need to find your way to the bridge! But how are you gonna do that?

"Modbragg, da Spiky boyz might scram before Iz can STOMP 'em! Too many a dese puny gits in da way!"

"Well Kaptin," Modbragg says as he reloads his Kustom-shoota with deft hands, "You'z can take me tellyportah, or you'z can destroy da escapey podz. Might find one of dem 'ard gits there tryin' ta go."

Just then, you spot something sitting in the corner, covered by blood. A fancy chaos git helmet, and some explosives! An idea forms in your head, along with Modbraggs suggestions.

>Take the tellyportah

>Visit the escape pods

>Grab the helmet and the explosives for a breachjump

(2/2)

>>1021059

>Grab the helmet and the explosives for a breachjump

Gonna eat will be back in a bit.

>>1021059
Where would we be jumping to? For that matter, where the fuck does the teleporter go?

I say disregard the escape pods, if there are running away they wouldn't be a good fight anyway. Get to the bridge before anyone steals our fun.

>>1021059
>Grab the helmet and the explosives for a breachjump

Explosive and stupid? Perfect!

>>1021059
>Grab the helmet and explosives for a breachjump
Downright Orky dat one is

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>>1021067
>>1021134
>>1021203
You grab the helmet and plop it on your head, finding it surprisingly big enough to fit your head. Peering through the red-tinted eyeholes, you grab the explosives in the corner and lay them directly under you. Pulling out your Kustom-shoota, you attract the attention of Modbragg, who pauses after laying about a 'umie weakling by strangling him to death with his shoota-cleaner rag.

"Err Boss? Whatcha doin'?" he asks as his eyes slowly track down to the stack of explosives directly under you.

"Gettin' to da fight fastah ya git!" you laugh as you pull the trigger of your shootah, and look up to the ceiling above you. An enormous gout of flame blossoms under you, and you chuckle as your legs tingle with feeling as your head comes under immense pressure. Your body shakes, and you hold on tight to your weapons as the interior of the ship pulls apart under the force propelling you.

Eventually, your body slams to a stop, this hull much tougher than the others you'd just barrelled through. Pulling off the helmet, you rub your noggin a bit, feeling a bit tuckered out, you might just go to bed early today when you get back to Da Masha. Looking around, you see a group of Chaos Space Marines all grabbing their weapons, chainswords, blackened bolters, and even a poncy-looking glowy axe.

Said axe is soon levelled at you by a huge, even compared to you, Chaos Marine Boss, his armor all spiky and black and poncy. Will make for good looting, you think to yourself.

"Your skull will belong to Khorne, beast!" roars the big, bad Chaos boss from an actual throne of skulls in the middle of the bridge.

"Me skull belongs to ME and ME only, Chaos GIT!" you respond as you raise Deh-Stroyah and fire off your Kustom-Shootah in a circle, filling the air with Dakka and downright slaughtering a quarter of the arrayed Chaos boyz against the hull before they can fire back.

Their comrades prepare to open fire but are stayed from their attack by the Chaos Boss, who beats his power-armored chest with his axe. "This one is MINE." He says with a growl of bloody, unsatiated hatred.

Rather angry git, isn't he. He prepares his axe over his head, intending to charge you and cleave you in twain, but you didn't get to be Boss of Da Masha by being as dumb as a grot.

>Fire at his legs with your Kustom-Shootah, knee-cap him to Zog!

>Duck out of the way and BodySLAM him, YOU'Z DA BOSS

>Meet his charge head-on and HEADBUTT this GIT

>>1021577
>Duck out of the way and BodySLAM him, YOU'Z DA BOSS

>>1021577
>>Duck out of the way and BodySLAM him, YOU'Z DA BOSS

>>1021577
>Fire at his legs with your Kustom-Shootah, knee-cap him to Zog!
Then body slam him.

>>1021598
>>1021634
Called for BODYSLAM

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>>1021598
>>1021634
Dodging to his side, you duck under his telegraphed swing, the power field surrounding his weapon warming the top of your head in an incredibly close encounter. You drop Deh-Stroyah and wrap your big, green arms around the Chaos Boss and sidestep behind him, adjusting your grip through his spiky armor.

Without a care in the world for the pointy edges digging into your skin, or the weird mouths of teeth on his armor trying to tear your arms apart, you lift him upwards with all your might and then bring him crashing down like a Rok on Armageddon.

The hull seems to moan in agony as the combined weight of two massive bodies comes down on it, but at the end, it is you who stands up first in triumph. Growling still, the Chaos Boss struggles to his feet, his endless bloodlust overcoming the pain in his body instantly. Grabbing Deh-Stroyah in one hand, and the face of your foe in the other, you activate your Big Choppa and rev the blades to life, spinning to an audible whine. Grinning, you grind it against the pale skin of your foe, carving out a big smiley face in the flesh, laughing all the way.

You turn around and look at the inscrutable helmets of his boyz and for some reason, find that even funnier than playing Carve-Da-Squig with their boss. So funny in fact, that you actually jump off of the Chaos Boss and laugh until tears start dripping from your eyes, and you let go of Deh-Stroyah. The Boss gets up, plenty of his face dripping off in a river of blood and a smiley-face, and combines a demonic roar and scream together to attempt to blow your eardrums out.

Shocker for him, you and Da Rokkaz still practice together. You step up to him and wrench the power-axe out of his hand and headbutt him back down to the floor. It is at this point, however, that his Boyz begin their assault, spearheaded by a mob of dual-wielding Berzerker Marines.

>Roll d100

Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>1022058
Throw them at each other. That always works if there are too many of them.

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Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>1022058
Use the might of GORK and punt the downed chaos marine in the crotch just like your ancestor did to that git in warhammer fantasy!
Kick as hard as your dumpy green legs will allow!

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>1022058
Imma go wit a klassik ork fightin' yell
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!!!

>>1022085
>>1022457
>>1022232

As the red tide comes upon you, you wind up your leg and punt the Chaos Boss in the nether regions, sending him into a stunned, pained silence.

"WAAAAAAGH! Now dis iz a proppa fight! Ahahahah!"

You laugh as you wade knee deep in the chainsaw-wielding, mouth-frothing depths of red-painted ceramite-armored madmen. Slashing and beating your way through Berzerker after Berzerker, you manage to cut your way through nearly all of them in one mad rampage. Cleaving two in twain with one thunderous blow from your whining, gnashing Big Choppa, you bury it in a third rushing behind you, before grabbing two Berzerkers and throwing them into a crowd, bowling them over like pins.

You laugh as a chain-axe buries itself in your shoulder as you reach behind you and grab the Spiky helmet of your attacker. Using him as a makeshift club, you beat down more foes in an unstoppable spree of death and hilarity.

Unfortunately, however, they brought too many boyz and you came alone. Four chain-axes manage to slash through your legs and one buries itself in your arms, tearing your nerves open and dropping you to the ground.

You glare at the Berzerker walking up to you, axe ready to finish you off.

"Oi! Iz not done wif ya yet, you zoggin' Spiky GITS!"

Suddenly, a makeshift stick grenade which you identify as a stikkbomb, flies through the hole you made in the middle of the Bridge. You can tell because of the massive explosion that follows it, spraying the remaining Berzerkers against the hull in pieces, bloody, armored pieces.

You take advantage of the distraction to rush the foe above you with your remaining strength, bowling him over and sending both his axes flying as you pin his arms with your bulk. Chuckling to yourself, you headbutt his helmet to pieces over and over, taking a quick second to wipe off his spittle on his armor as you decide to sing a proper Orky warsong when you see Modbragg and his boyz rappel themselves over the top into the Bridge from the hole.

"Oi, boss! Ya stole da fight wif Da 'Ard 'Uns!"

"Ah shut it ya git! Youz wantz a proppa fight, ya gotta follow da Boss!"

Conceding the point, Modbragg hefts your massive weight on his shoulder and prepares to leap down the hole with the boyz when he looks back at the bridge and remembers something important.

"Boss, wez got dis shiny ship now roight?" he asks tentatively.

"A 'course wez got da ship, we'z da Orks n' we always winz! Datz a proppa grot kinda question Modbragg!"

"Well, wotz we gonna do wif da ship now?"

"Wuh?"

"Da ship, whatz ya gonna do wif da ship?"

"Loot it and den gives it to Wregz, he sed first dibz on da next ship we loot."

"Datz nice an' proppa boss, but Da Masha isn't doing too well."

You look out at the display on the Bridge and find his point well enough, Da Masha is putting up an incredible fight, but three entire Chaos ships are still pummelling it to bits in space.

"Which of da boyz 'ere ken fly dis fing?"

(1/2)

>>1022547
All da boyz shrug their shoulders, and you frown. Modbragg helps you into the Chaos Boss chair, and you find it really, really distractingly out of style. Skullz all over the place? Maybe Gorgutz and some other Bosses like that shctick, and they can look nice on a pole or such, but on a seat? Tacky, like pinning a tail on a Squiggoth.

Shrugging the feeling off, you assess the situation and make a decision.

Which is another way of saying, "Ignore all the flashing lights, Droofa isn't around and we can still fight."

>Ram this ship into another ship

>Blast a ship, then get Modbragg and his mob to board

>Overload the engines, ram the second biggest ship, and then get into the assault boat and get back to Da Masha as the fucking thing explodes.

(2/2)

>>1022550
>ram this ship into another ship
If we still want something to loot, we can't blow up the ship.

>>1022550
>Blast a ship, then get Modbragg and his mob to board

>>1022550
>Ram this ship into another ship

>>1022550
>ORK FREEBOTAZ
OP, you are a certified mag genius

>RAM this ship into ANOTHER ship, then board from there

>>1022550
>>Ram this ship into another ship

>>1022547
RAM IT BOSS!

>>1022550
Question, are high rolls good or are we going for low rolls in true 40k tabletop style?

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>>1022563
>>1022572
>>1022719
>>1023212
"Well Boyz, 'ang on to your bitz, we're goin' RAMMIN'!" you announce with a laugh as you slam down the controls in the direction of the next Chaos ship.

"WAAAAAAGH!" you and Da boyz roar out in merriment as the half-destroyed Chaos ship screams in agony, eventually managing to become mobile in space again. Flying through the battlefield, the ship pushes and demolishes the wasted corpses of destroyed attack craft, from Orkish ships to Chaos raiders.

As you near the next Chaos ship at maximum speed, you hear a hail materialize from their Bridge. "Damael! What are you doing! You're going to ram into us!"

You keep the broadcast muted, and all the boyz gather around the console to see what this poncy-looking spiky boy is yammerin' about.

"I see! You've been trying to get rid of me all this time! Well, you'll find that Sorcerors are harder to kill than you think!" the fancy git shouts into the comm, before shutting it off with a slam.

"Hahahah, I fink we got one of dem 'umies mad!" you grin and settle back into your chair moments before your new ship collides with the other, smashing it utterly around the midsection and burying the prow deep into your new prey.

Suddenly, an explosion of flame appears behind you, and that posh humie emerges from the epicenter!

The flames, brilliant violet and dangerous, sear the skin of your boyz, and even from the command chair you can feel the unnatural heat.

"Damael? Wha-?" he says before recognizing the angry, now burning mob of Boyz surrounding him and he seems to chant, much like the Wierdboyz do.

"Oi! Anuva 'ard 'umie git fer uz ta KRUMP! Get 'im boyz!" you shout as the boyz charge him, their choppas at the ready.

He suddenly radiates energy, and the whole mob of boyz and Modbragg are knocked over on their arses by a shockwave. You get out of your chair, unaffected by sheer virtue of the combined weight of your own body and the 'Eavy armor you're wearing. Facing down the poncy 'umie git, you drop Deh-Stroyah, instead cracking your green knuckles, your thrill for another fight overriding the sheer damage inflicted on your body for the moment.

"I know not how you dispatched Damael, beast. But be assured, I WILL dispose of you."

"Lotta yammerin' fer a puny snotling like you, 'umie!"

You charge.

>Roll d100. Write-in your attack, will be written if you win the roll.

>>1023241
High is good for this quest, roll under is kinda wonky in questing desu and I didn't actually plan for anything.

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>1025220
punch him in the nards. Hard

>>1025220
should we wait for more rolls, or can I roll two more times to get this moving?

>>1026097
Either would work. On my part for the moment, I'm eating dinner so I can afford to wait a little longer. Roll if you want, I'm cool with that too.

Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>1025220

Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>1025220

>>1026114
>>1026097
>>1026117
You charge at him, just a massive green train weighing as much as a goddamn suit of power armor with your arms outstretched and your fists ready. You lunge in and swing at his rokks, aiming to shatter them through his suit for the sole purpose of wondering if you can kill a spiky boy that way.

Your opponent however, is just as cowardly and un-Orky as his appearance, as he teleports a few feet away from your assault and cuts a brutal slash along your leg, removing use of it for the time being. You limp back away, and decide to feint another charge, stopping at the last moment which works because the 'Umie didn't expect you to think that far ahead.

Your green fist collides with his codpiece, the impact zapping your fingers and knuckles with feeling and sending the 'Umie reeling backwards, nearly doubling over in agony. You move in to bring another round of pain into him, but he manages to recover and teleport away, sending bolts of fire to sear your chest.

You stand there and take the whole blast, your skin protesting and some of it melting, but you enjoy the pain while it lasts. Been a long time since you'd been burnt like that, and Gork knows, gettin' too soft is a proppa Orky sin!

The two of you stare each other off, both watching each other intently for any potential opening. He seems to be eyeing your leg a whole lot, but your eyes are around him, to your boyz getting up off the ground and rubbing their noggins.

>Distract him with Banter

>Distract him with a charge attack

>Toss one of da Boyz at him

(Roll d100 on your vote)

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>1026484
>distract him with banter while the boyz creep up on him.

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>1026484
>>Distract him with Banter

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>1026484
>Distract him with Banter

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>1026484
>>Distract him with Banter

And then.

>Toss one of da Boyz at him

>>1026843
Thanks for the save boss

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Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>1026484
>Scream autisticly to distract him
>Then hurt his feelings with your dry wit
> "UUURGGHH YA MOM ISNT EVEN NOICE ENOUGH TO LOOK AT TO ZOG SHES A SLAG M8!!! BAHAHAA"

>>1026484
we're doing best out of how many rolls?

>>1026843
You figure you can just do what you do best to distract the 'Umie and open your zoggin' trap.

"Oi! 'Umie! I fink yer god iz a dumb git!"

He looks genuinely taken aback at the statement, rather confused at the timing, being that the two of you are locked in a duel. Before long, he recovers and seems to put his witty cap on, his posture approaching what you would assume to be an elitist sneer.

"Lord Tzeentch would burn your skin and morph you into a limbless, senseless fleshbag for that, beast. I would have included him making you mindless, but it would be redundant."

Been a long time since you'd been engaged in some meaningful banter, so you're pleased that even this puny 'Umie knows how to sting with words, though you doubt he'd let you slug it out over the insults later after a few fungus beers.

"Hahahah, good one 'umie. But dem are big words fer a runty little squig-dropping. Care ta back 'em up?"

The 'Umie reaches out with his hand and conjures up a long gout of flame, which you duck under instantly, conscious that no matter how tough your hide, not even burnaboyz can survive a full barrage of fiery death.

"My pleasure, Ork."

He prepares another spell, and does a fairly good job about it, from your entirely untrained and disdainful eye, until he is clubbed over the head by one of your Boyz with a piece of broken hull. Pitching forwards, he is immediately beset by an angry mob of your Boyz, stomping punching and kicking him repeatedly in proper Orky fashion.

>"Make sure he gets proper stomped by the time we finish up here boyz!"

>"Keep 'im alive, we'll have some fun out of 'im yet!"

>Execute the posh git yourself

>>1031792
>>Execute the posh git yourself

And put his foot on your pike.

>>1031792
>Execute the posh git yourself.
"YA STUPID HUMIE, YOU AKTIVATED MA TRAP, NOW PREPAR FOR TA FINISHING MOVE!"

>>1031792
>>"Make sure he gets proper stomped by the time we finish up here boyz!"

We've got another three ships to take care of, they might as well have some fun with him on the way.

Pretty miserable. College is not fun on weekdays.

Will be back later Wednesday.

>>1031830
>Execute the posh git yourself.
"YA STUPID HUMIE, YOU AKTIVATED MA TRAP CARD!"

>>1026916

Dis 'ow we do it boyz!!

>>1031792

>Execute the posh git yourself.

>>1031830
>>1032300

I just love the use of the trap card meme..!

>>1032132

Take your time.

>>1031830
Gotta do this.