Willikers

>>10083
>FALCON PUNCH

>>10083
Kill Bill it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8y9US7ajWo

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>>10094
Oh fuck that really hurt

>>10157
open palm it, mother fucker. you are going to break this board and burrow up to air or you are going to die.

>>10157
Check your pockets for any useful shit.

>>10083

Picture how you envisioned your Friday night going instead.

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>>10175
You bang upwards with palms open
>>10178
your slacks don't seem to have pockets
>>10192
you were probably going to fall asleep in front of your television set.

Feel around for anything abnormal. ie. Imperfections in the coffin or items buried with you.

>>10238

Reflect on how you arrived in such a distasteful predicament, that you may avoid a repeat of the current situation.

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>>10254
There's this weird protrusion around groin level.

>>10292
Stick your dick in it

>>10325
you are not erect
I drew a flaccid penis, but clicked clear instead of post on accident.

Hmm. Check to see if there's a bell string.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safety_coffin

>>10356
Really inspect it. What is it?

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>>10356
Think of something sexy

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>>10325
>>10365
>>10377
>>10379
you keep mesing around, and manage to get yourself to half mast, but then you hear a hissing and the door of your tomb makes way.
A woman is yelling
>WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM!?

>>10401
Apologize.
Ask what's happening.

>>10401
ASK WHAT'S HER PROBLEM

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>>10407
>You started smashing a VR chamber from the inside and nearly destroyed a reelflesh™ custom erotic reactive orifice simulator.

>>10426
>stick my arms up in the air and start making wooshing sounds

Say: this is the only vr i understand...
>cough

"How did I get in there?"

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>>10407
>>10425
I'm so sorry, what's going on?
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM!?
>My problem, buddy, is that you're trying to destroy my VR system from the inside, paying particular attention to the Reelflesh™ sexual simulation device.

fuurrkk

Whip your dick out and ask if she wants to suck it

>>10445
Well, missy, your VR system lacks visual and audio feedback. Unless the virtual reality was being blown by death inside a coffin.

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>>10442
>I assume you got in here because you paid us three hundred million credits.
>>10469
>From my reports on your six year stay, that's not what you ordered, and not what you experienced. You're free to check your cog-logs, or exact recordings of your brain function at any time if you doubt that.
>>10463
she has made you lose your half-mast erection.

Time for bed

>>10481
The machine wasn't functioning like a virtual reality just now. I wouldn't have resisted like that if it were. That's something that needs to be fixed. By you, perhaps.

>>11572
Well, I wanna fuck something now, and how long I've been in there?

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>>11572
>I was going to open your chamber the moment you went offline, but I had some important calibrations to attend to.
>those forty five seconds must have been absolutely harrowing for you.

>>11898
(from adjacent room)
>once you're done with processing Bartie's one door down should have happy hour in full swing.
>and you've still been here for six years.

>>12569
Check your brain records.

>>12569
I don't believe this bitch. Wearin' her alien helmet. Lookin' like those rock bitches I thought of. That's tha' only logical. This whores lyin, lyin Ted style, and this is in fact a VR sim of a VR sim. Tryin' to scam our ass of the advanced Riot control shit we had.

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>>12604
>'kay then, here you go.
These records seem to detail your six years floundering as a hikkikomori in your mom's basement.
>12-3 subject plays videogames
>3-5 subject posts on anonymous forum
>5-6 subject goes to dinner, is berated by mother for improper handling of garbage
It's page after page of just this.
You paid however much money is three hundred million credits just to live like a loser?

>>12785
Find out where your real home is.

>>12785
>5-6 subject goes to dinner, is berated by mother for improper handling of garbage
Show mother berating, then 6-8 mother being fucked by neighbor.

>>10157
OH SHIT ANIMATION!?

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>>12824
noted
>>12825
it says 1200 X 6732 Y 2370 Z Colonel Kane District is your address in the first page of the binder.
>a complimentary car service will be by soon, here are your personal effects.

>>12895

Ask her who you are and for some other of your personal information because you can't remember shit. also, where your clothes are.

>>12895
I disagree

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>>12841
Show mother berating
>WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE YOUR COUSIN RANDALL? WHERE DID I GO WRONG WITH YOU? YOU NEED TO GET A JOB AND START ACTING LIKE AN ADULT! JESUS CHRIST!
6-8 mother being fucked by neighbor.
You were crying and blasting anime theme songs in your room, if the AI of your mother had passionate sex with 57 year old neighbor Marco Sanchez, his wife Flora, or 42 year old Widower and postman Kent Oliver, you were none the wiser.
>>12964
>your name's right on the front of your folder, and I just showed you your locker with your clothes.
ENTER NAME

>>13025
Carter Briggs, Veteran Abusive police officer.Abusive police is a fine industry in this day and age.

>>13025
JOE KESHUM

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>>13045
>>13059
You're Carter Kriggs, king of the clank and crusher of crime- unless it has the capital to keep out of your clutches, that is.
You're as dirty as they come and your little "vacation" to this VR facility was no accident.
This dystopian urban future has a major problem facing it-
"societal truancy", people just checking out of life and deciding to hole up.
The last time the crime of societal truancy was this prominent, in the mid twenty-first century, it brought about an extended period of cultural and scientific regression- diminishing the population and their standards of living to the dark ages.
Now that you know how a hikke thinks, you'll know how to bag 'em and tag 'em.

>>13165
Well son, only one way to solve this shit.

Beat up some people, especially people of darker form with a Billy club to get out and work

>>13165
See if you can bribe the machine operator to view other people's logs.

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>>13225
you thrust open the doors to see a dark glimmering city built in strangling labyrinthine layers, this might not be the easiest place to gumshoe about, so until your ride gets here you might as well try>>13234
>yeah sure, let us slide next inspection season and my databases are all yours. Are you looking for anything specific?

>>12844
the bare minimum required to be classified as such.

>>13421
Gotta think what those hikki scum would do.
Look for scenes straight out of video games and anime.

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>>13539
>alright, we have 320 thousand 22 hundred and 16 instances matching your request.

>>13629
Start breathing heavily and attempt to pass out so someone comes by and picks you up.

>>13629
How the fuck am I supposed to capture 320,000 people myself? Call for backup. Possibly to raid the place.

>>13629
shouldn't that be 322 thousand, 2 hundred sixteen

also "and" indicates a decimal

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>>13681
As you start to black out you hear a voice call out
>anybody here call a taxi?
at least nobody has to animate your drive home.

>>13868
These animations are cracking me up

>>13868
Look in your pockets for something to pay cab fare.

>>13935
>>12895
>a complimentary car service will be by soon
>complimentary
(Free)

>>13961
Hop in and start fingering yourself and ignoring the driver.

>>13868
now that you're on the floor, walk the dinosaur

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>>13973
that's definitely what you would have done if you were conscious.
It is some comfort to know that you did pee a little while passes out in the cab, take that cabbie scum.
You come to in your obligatorily dark and sleek futuristic apartment.

>>14041
Find my computer and Google future porn.

>>14041
pour yourself a drink

>>14041
have a panic attack and destroy the apartment

>>14041
Its been 6 years, check to see if Prequel finally upated

>>10379
Sexy brah

check to see if half life 3 is announced

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>>14060
In the future all surfaces are a computer.
Did you mean:
Future relevant to now
Future relevant to past
Future relevant to future

>>14399
Future relevant to future, obviously.

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>>14539
as your future cuck porn of xeno dick entering a Terran woman plays, you >>14064
pour yourself a drink and >>14114 >>14143 check on matters of import. Of course nothing's come out or been updated! It's only been hundreds of years! >>14067 your panic attack begins.

>>14558
Start with that stupid lamp.

Is anyone else having problems with the auto-updating in this thread in particular?

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>>12895
oy vey

>>14581
Fuck you, lamp!
Oh, hmm...
yeah, even the uploading has been weird, I made that double post early on because it refused to post my first attempt for seven whole minutes.

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>>14734
I am not a clever man

>>14744
Use the fire to cook virtual marshmallows to make virtual smores
then piss on it to put it out

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>>14758
This minus the piss part.

Also, HOLY SHIT MY PC IS POSSESSED

>>14802
LOL

>>14802
The first 3 words you find describe you best!

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>>14758
>>14802
nothing can stop the piss part

>>14851
Wait, we just started an electrical fire again with our piss, didn't we

>>14851
you should search the crime database to see if their is crime that needs to possibly be stopped for the right price

HIT THE STREETS

>>14851
Don't we have support lights or something? I thought this was the future.

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>>14866
it looks like there's a gang of skateboarding hooligans.

>>14940
Throw the lamp at Skullkid, and rip Majora's Mask off the one on the right

>>14940
get in ur cop spaceshit

fly to skateboarders and capture one

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>>14940
>Throw the lamp at Skullkid
Oh wait, I still haven't left the apartment.
This is just a picture.
Shoot shoot darn.
>>14960
you speed off, but still feel pretty silly.

>>15050
Vent out your anger on those fucking kids, it's our job after all.

>>15050
Go to the nearest bar and get smashed.

>>15050
commit a few civil rights violations when u capture one of them. maybe hit one with your vehicle?????

maybe the monkey one??

hit monkey boy is what im saying

>>15107
I thought that was a black girl based on the tits

>>15148
i thought that was its feet...... lmao

its still a monkey B)

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>>15107
>maybe the monkey one??
Hmm, pretty sure she has a cat theme, pIFyugPa.
I don't know why, exactly, uhh, you would think she was a MONKEY.
Anyway, you cleave her into a bloody mess.

>>15303
We ought to stick our dick in that bloody mess. We've been putting it off way too long

>>15323
Do that, and very fondly regard that lady at the VR clinic. But also get those other kids before they tag the streets and incite gang wars.

>>15323
We can leave necrophilia for later, we have work to do. Besides beating up some youngsters will make the blood flow into our dick.

>>15303
exactly as planned arrest those scared little shits

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>15303
throw her skateboard at Skullkid to get rid of that shame from earlier
roll for damage

Panic as the VR equipment goes off again. Awaken from chamber in "not the best" condition

>>15303
Did we live?

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>>15323
>>15332
>>15341
You stick your dick very shorty, the fear of broken bone and the need to spill more teenage flesh make you return to the task at hand.
>>15378
you pick up the skateboard and go into a beastmode fury.

>>15597
beat up the rest of the kids for police brutality points and cash them in for cool prizes

>>15597
Disfigure but don't quite kill the other children.

>>15597
mug those little shits then throw them in the back of your car

>>15768
We /montage/ now?

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>>15613
>>15643
>>15701
you're not quite sure what made you lose control like that but these kids aren't coming back to the station.

>>15783
Probably a side effect of using that damn VR machine. Go back over there and complain.

>>15803
That's definitely the cause. Our brutality was 10% too high.

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>>15803
>>15830
>Well of course you're going to have some side effects after a six year stay.
>Most long-term patients complain about blurred vision and dizzy spells, some nausea, stuff like that. What exactly happened?

>>15873
we are now racist, sexist, and slightly more violent.

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>>15873
WE CRACKED SOME SKULLS

>>15873
We're having more psychotic episodes than usual.

>>15873
Bouts of rage

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>>15886
>>15909
>>15910
>>15922
>Wh-what?
>I've never heard of anything like that, I mean people come in wanting to run violent sims constantly, but they never show any residual violence.

>>15966
call her a roastie kike and demand results

bash her skull in 15966

>>15966
I don't care if you never saw something like this before, you have to fix me.

>>15966
I NEED TO GO BACK IN. MAKE IT HAPPEN OR YOU'LL HAVE LAWSUITS UP THE ASS

>>15966
Demand compensation for you mental impairments.

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>>15994
You begin shaking her and yelling
>>15995
Which leads to a piledrive straight into the floor.
>>16003
>>16029
>>16040
She doesn't seem very receptive to your requests anymore.

>>16213
complain to the manager about their faulty employees.

>>16213
look at her tits

after that's finished we need to get our ass to mars

My knuckles ache, gonna stop for tonight
Might need to let thread die and pick up later, big paper due.

>>16260
Night OP

>>16260
ganbatte

>>16283
>>16284
Night-night

>>16213
Shit, now how are we going to get our money back?

>>16260
I think it's going to be a while before it dies since the board is still pretty slow. Unless you plan on picking it back up weeks from now or something.

this is really well done op, props

>>16213
WHAT DID WE DO?
WE KILLED BEST GIRL

FIX HER

>>16562
this
make her a cyborg badass with a robot brain

so she can become our tech-savvy sidekick

and what was her name anyway

>>16938

>Sassy Tech-savvy sidekick

>>16330
I'm not sure whether the auto-sage implements 72 hours after OP post, but that's how I read it.

>>16213
Cry.

>>16938
Nah, we gotta clone her, then sue her clone so she'll be in debt to us.

bump either way

>>16213
Stuff her in a VR bed

>thread's still here
/qst/ is pretty cool in my book.
I think I'm one of the few folks not directly relocated from /tg/.
I actually used to do this kind of thing on /r9k/ when it had more of a focus on original content.
Anyway, will be back and ready to rock until I pass out on Monday afternoon.

bump for OP

another bump for golden thread

my lovely lady bumps

last bump before autosage

>>38533
I don't get how a thread's supposed to survive after autosage.

>>38657
it doesnt, it just slowly dies. I just did that so i could have more time to archive it later on in notatrueending

I'm thinking if you get just three days they better all be free-ish, so I'm going to make some cool shit, come back Thursday with heaps full of content, and hopefully keep things pretty action-packed until Saturday or my hand cramps out.

>>40396
Thanks OP