>Out drinking >Somebody asks me if I'm Jewish >

>>37126318
>not trying to infiltrate

>>37126318
>>Somebody asks me if I'm Jewish
Quietly say "on my mother's side. Find out as much as you can about the enemy. Report back.

>>37126318
lel

Where I am from, asking someone if he is jewish in a social environment is always an insult.

>it's a website's fault I have brain damage

why do you think i'm jewish? are you saying i have a big nose?

>>37126318
>Out drinking
>Someone asks what my "background" is
>Tell them 1/2 Chinese, 1/4 White, 1/4 Jewish
>B-but Jews aren't a race.

Even though they were the ones who brought up race, now I'm the racist for not considering Jews to be White.

>>37126499

I do have a big nose though.
I'm part Italian.

>at uni pub
>person in group I just met hands me $10 to get a pitcher
>it was 9.99, told the bartender to keep the penny
>come back, guy asks for change
>tell him it was only 9.99, I left the penny there
>good opening for a joke
>add, "what are ya, Jewish?"
>said it in an old-timey 1930s film voice
>dead silence
>left the table after 20 minutes of being ignored

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>>37126318

You're in my heart, OP. Over time, if you look, you will see the friends who appreciate you that you couldn't see last night. They are there.

>>37126318

>mfw family name Paulus
>always been 'the nazi' in class
>started to be one

At least people don't aks me if I'm a jew.

>>37126646

>not using the traditional and publically acceptable "Scottish"

Jewish people are known for being good with investments, not being stingy.

>>37126318
>believing /pol/
>ever

shiggy diggy

>>37126725

I make a point of talking shit about Aussies when drinking mostly.

>>37126318
The consequences of taking /pol/ seriously. Not even once.

>not responding with "oy vey, do you have a problem with gods chosen? what are you, an anti-semite? its anuda shoah" and then promptly storming out.

>mfw i say jew all the time in public

if you act scared and meek when you say it, like you expect backlash, of course people will take offence to it

it you say it like it isn't a slur, and you shouldnt feel bad for saying it, nobody will give a shit

it helps if you arent a little bitch too

>>37126464
Where I'm from, jewish is a synonym for a cheap bastard

>>37126790

I don't think jews have this huge conspiracy or "run thew world" like /pol/. I just live near a large population of Orthodox Jews and their all separatist assholes.

So sometimes I come here to have a laugh, ya know?

>>37126822
>If you say it like a slur
>No one will take offense

Fucking hell, /pol/ is going to cost a lot of people their jobs/friendships.

>>37126318
>Having blue pilled jew puppets as friends.
>2014

>>37126790

Wow. The reddit peer pressure crew got here awful fast.

Thats right OP. Whatever your friends think is what you should think because they are properly steeped in mainstream media culture. Those friends are valuable and will be there the rest of your life to judge you.

Or at least 9-18 months. Assuming you are at least in your twenties. Less if you run out of beer money.

>walking with new friend between classes
>see black guy standing by a wall
>right next to a NatGeo poster of a chimpanzee
>nudge friend with elbow, just point at the spectacle while trying not to laugh
>he just asks "what?"
>just can't seem to get it
>start explaining the joke
>"that was a black guy"
>"yeah? so?"
>"he was next to a poster of a monkey"
>"....yeah... what are you saying?"
>"nothing dude, just weird heheh...heh"
>never speaks to me again

>>37126848
Me too, but I wouldn't ever repeat something from /pol/ in public, at my workplace, or around family.

Only my good friends who know my political views are okay with this because they know I don't take it seriously.

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>>37126781
>not talking shit about everyone when in company
>but especially jews and blacks

Bonus points if you end the night with less friends than you started

>>37126781
I'll glass ya cunt

>>37126918
The 21st century has robbed people of their sense of humor.

>>37126926

Well I was kind of drunk.
Its not like I was thinking clearly.

>walk into job interview
>3 interviewers, 1 of them is black
>give the black one a handshake
>jerk my hand away and wipe hand on pants
>get told to leave

his hand was wet I was just surprised

>>37126438
this.

>>37126318
Are there Jews who dont follow the religion but are still Jewish and how do they deal with it?

>>37126988
Clearly. I used to drink a lot and I lost a lot of friends by opening my mouth in the Dark Place.

I don't drink like that anymore.

>>37126926
Pretty much this. I don't actually believe in most of the shit on here, but it's kinda amusing and my friends and I have even been using casual racism as a means of removing troublesome or stuck-up people from our company. Works like a charm. Those unwanted SJW/skanks/hookups/acquaintances that seem to stick like shit to established groups of friends and that you can't seem to get rid of with politeness will fuck off right fast if you have a round of jew-jokes while drunk.
>what's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven
>What's the difference between a piece of shit and a nigger?
When the piece of shit ages it turns white and stops stinking.

That stuff.

>>37127169
Yeah, I used to be really into that kind of stuff when I was younger. I guess I grew out of it. Then again, I can't talk too much shit at you since I'm here on /pol/ too, lol.

>not some autistic stormfag
>constantly say offensive jokes
>especially racist shit
>always have
>get invited to all kinds of stuff
>people bribe me with stuff to get me to show up

I was once in a pisstank in dublin where I explained to everybody how they were all inbred niggers that were too retarded to survive a non0ntive crop dying despite being on an Island surrounded by fish, it was a catholic neighborhood and I was wearing a bright orange sweater I had bought specifically for the occasion. Not only did I walk out with all my teeth (unlike how everybody else entered the place), they got me drunk as hell.

It's all in the delivery.

>>37126539

holy shit, are you me? i'm also 1/4 Jewish. It's obvious that Ashkenazi is an ethnicity, even Jews acknowledge that. I consider myself white though as I look totally white.

>>37126902
>being this butthurt about /pol/ being full of shit
>believing le epic der juden meme

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>>37126438
Not before Mossad figures out you are not one of them, then you are taken back to Israel as an international terrorist and executed. You have no say in the matter, and the US does nothing to protect you as a citizen.

If you try to go to South America you are assassinated. You are dealing with the most efficient killing machine on earth.

You are messing with the religion of death.

>>37127260
>Irish
>white

That's because black people can make jokes about their own race :^)

>>37126318
why would that be an odd occurrence OP?

>>37126834
midwest? Chicago is like that

>>37127329
It's obvious, but non-Jews aren't supposed to talk about it. We're supposed to accept whatever labels Jews assign us.

Most people can tell that I'm not 100% White, but are surprised that I'm 1/2 Chinese. A handful of people have identified my as part Jewish

>>37126318
in public, the right answer is always:

>Oy, if I had that luck...

then wink

I occasionally drink with a Jew and his Jew buddies. The other Jews don't like me very much. Very Orthodox, but this one is ok. Me and him constantly make fun of the other Jews with Jew jokes. The best part is people who sit around us getting all butthurt. Sometimes someone will be like "You can't say that" and the Jew guy I know tells them to fuck off and shows them his star of David.

>>37126918
You obviously don't know how to properly socialize. I make racist jokes with strangers all the time. You just have to make it evident that you are fucking around. And if they are still pissed just make them feel bad for getting upset. "Jeez man, what are you racist? You can't appreciate a joke. What a buzkill you are" etc.

>>37128345
>I occasionally drink with a Jew and his Jew buddies. The other Jews don't like me very much. Very Orthodox, but this one is ok. Me and him constantly make fun of the other Jews with Jew jokes. The best part is people who sit around us getting all butthurt. Sometimes someone will be like "You can't say that" and the Jew guy I know tells them to fuck off and shows them his star of David.

That is just reinforcing Jewish supremacy. They (along with their chosen good goys) are allowed to make Jew jokes, no on else is.

>You obviously don't know how to properly socialize. I make racist jokes with strangers all the time. You just have to make it evident that you are fucking around. And if they are still pissed just make them feel bad for getting upset. "Jeez man, what are you racist? You can't appreciate a joke. What a buzkill you are" etc.
>Jeez man, what are you racist?

>>37129220
How is it reinforcing anything you fucking brainwashed turd? We laugh at our own stereotypes and make fun of those who take it too seriously. And when faggots try to ruin our fun we tell them to fuck off.
And your damn right I'll drop the racist remark. Because if they can just have a laugh none of that shit would matter, but instead they c choose to get their panties in a bunch, So I'll make them feel bad for trying to make me feel bad.

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>>37126318
This reminded me of a situation I had a month ago.

>two hour international flight (London Luton - Katowice)
>short guy sitting next to me
>takes bottle of Bell's whisky out of his bag
>pours into tiny cup and takes a drink every couple of minutes
>an hour into the flight starts mumbling to no one in particular
>"...right...those fucking Jews...fucking kikes kurwa... I hate them so much... kurwa.... we should burn them all...gas them and burn them all... goddamn Jews ... Jews everywhere ... Auschwitz has a good location ... we should restart it ... Hitler did nothing wrong ... fucking Jews"
>mumbles like that for the reminder of the flight
>people sitting nearby look at him angrily but say nothing, I'm trying not to laugh
>15 minutes before landing he taps me on the shoulder
>guy: "...Are you a Jew?"
>me: "No, why?"
>guy attempts to take a sip from bottle but realizes it's empty, sighs
>guy: "b-best come clean you know"
>doesn't say anything until we land

>>37129412
I'd be laughing my ass off.

>>37129412
copy pasta

>>37126318
Ur the man OP! Theyll get over it. I refused to shake someones black friends hand and they were all pissed, but he left and we were still friends. U did good OP. Hold firm!

>>37129412
What's with airports and red pills? I had some guy waiting next to me at customs start to rant because one of the girls working customs had a hijab on.

His breath smelled like cheap whisky and I pretty much just iced him out.

>>37129627
They say that people that travel learn to love all people.
Which i don't think is true.

I didn't hate the Swiss till i spent a week in Switzerland.

>>37129412
U may be being gang stalked. Why would he speak in pol slogans? Many pol lacks are being gang stalked. The govt hates us.

>At family dinner
>Have a few drinks
>Somehow Israel and Palestine come up
>Go on a huge anti-Israel, anti-Palestine, anti-Islam, anti-Judaism rant

Well now I'm a nazi in the eyes of my extended family. I'm a retard.

>>37129566
>copy pasta

Copied from my own thread a month ago, yes. I wouldn't have missed the chance to share such a topical event with /pol/ when it happened.

http://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/35262004/

>>37129580
What an asshole.

>>37129727
Sounds like schizophrenia bro. You should see your doctor, unless you think he's in on it too.

>>37129871
Paranoia more like.

>>37126318
>oy vey, where are all the shekels at

>>37127329
I'm also 1/4 ashkenazi
But let me ask you; if you were 1/4 black, would you still consider yourself white?

I consider myself of mixed ethnicity

>>37130319

In all fairness, Ashkenazi Jews can generally trace their lineage back to Europe.

>>37130147
Paranoid delusions are a part of schizophrenia.

>>37129412

It's not every day you get to sit next to Ben 'The Godfather' Garrison on a plane.

>>37126318
Was at a Wendy's and saw a happy family consisting of a black man, white woman and mud baby. I had to stop myself because I was a split second away from shouting.

>"NIGGERLOVER!!!"

I mean it was like almost a reflex to shout that. And I used to be such a liberal in the 00's too. Fuck you, /pol/. :|

>>37127453
lol
your mythology of omnipotence is so bluepill it hurts

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>>37128178
>Oy, if I had that luck...
>then wink
you forgot to wring your hands

>>37126318
> >Everyone avoids me the rest of the night
Try taking a bath or brushing your teeth.
At least once next week.

>>37126918
You don't go full racist joke with a new person, you have to throw a couple mildly racist jokes to see if they're okay with it.

>>37126318

Nope. It is your own fault...

>>37127169

>How do you know a nigress is pregnant?

The tampon has had its cotton picked when it comes out.

>>37131972
>What do you call 6 white guys on on a bench?

The NBA.

>>37126318
fuck of faggot ass jewnger you brought it on yourself. we did notmake you scream anti semetic remarks at a bar, you did that of your ownaccord

>>37126359
This

>>37126318 you fucked up like the newfag you are.

>>37132053

>How do you make census in Israel?

Throw a nickle down the main street.

>>37127018
hahahaha,oh wow!

>>37126318
learn to hide your power level
or become friends with neonazis

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>>37129412
based polack

Great, more proof /pol/ is just self-loathing jews.

1/2 Ashkenazi

>>37126318

True story. I'm getting on a plane in Oklahoma City, flying to New York and for some reason, the TSA agent thinks I'm Jewish because my first name is David and I am from New York.

The agent tells me how he is a born-again Christian and loves the Jews. He gets me ahead of everyone and through the check point in seconds.

>tfw you know what it's like to be jewish.

>>37130405
khazar empire is not europe

>>37133235
Jew here. Never had that happen to me but I don't live in the US. So maybe it is an American thing.

So happy that im finnish. Outside Helsinki everyone is pretty much a mild racist to a degree. You can always tell racist jokes. Even in the university level. Npbody gives a fuck.

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>some bros come over for drinks
>tell them about da jews
>at first they're hesitant, soon they're drunk and laughing and making racist jokes
>now everytime we get together it's like a /pol/ meetup
Where do you guys find these loser friends?