THE ABSOLUTE STATE OF BRITISH NEWSPAPERS WHAT DO YOU SAY NOW /pol/?

LMAO 10/10

Pay debts

We only use that trash to hold our fish and chips. No one reads that shite.

Sun isn't a newspaper.

Why are brits so obsessed with rhyming

can someone translate that please
I don't care if this is a worthless slidebait thread
I need to know

>>139498342
I don't know the last three words in the title. I don't think I will need them though

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>>139498342
Here's an old but gold one

>>139498342
Fuck off Greeky Weeky, our gutter news are paparazzi are a national institution.

>>139498887
It's our language. We love wordplay, alliteration and puns, even if they are completely shit.

>>139498980
Upset president gets sex sex sex.

>>139499142
>our gutter news are paparazzi are a national institution
that's pathetic
you're supposed to be the ones with a sense of dignity

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>>139498342
Personal favorite.

>>139498342
read the sunday sport

has less bullshit in there than the bog standard newspapers

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>>139498342

>>139499376
thank you
I thought it was referring to politics or an event
I will never overthink British journalism again

>>139498342
>the sun

We have trash tabloids too but I've never seen anything that bad. That's hilarious.

>>139498780
Everyone reads the sun unless they are some kind of guardian reading queer like I presume you to be

>>139500000
>checked

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>>139498342
>GLOMPHY BLOMPHY DOUBLE SCOOPEROOP IN POOP SHOOPYS THE RUMPY PUMPY HUMPY DRUMPFY

>>139498342
All papers print lies anyway. Why not make your lies more marketable with some nice rhyming

>>139500098
Be honest m8, you're just looking at the pictures.

>>139500000
You should probably look harder then.
The Sun is low tier but the Sport is a work of comedy genius.

>>139498342
can you believe we thought sweetyposting was over?

>>139499071
Mate i don't know what it means, I think the stupid editor just wanted words to rhyme with grumpy.

>>139500407
Fuck the sun, I think it's cucked anyway, last time I looked at it the page 3 girls weren't even topless

Imagine working for a newspaper in 2017. I'd think everyone interested in that would be past retirement age.

>>139500098
you have spectator and the telegraph for right wing news that doesnt make you loose iq to read

>>139498980
Getting the hump means getting mad
Rumpy pumpy is sexy time

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>>139500839
>The Sun
It all went down hill once page 3 stopped.

>mfw when americans call slippery dippery faux sly drippy wry lies "Newspapers"

>>139498342
People who still read newspapers should be gassed.

>>139500782
>>139501038
what the fuck lads, what happened to page 3?

>>139500930
Implies a petulant, huffy sort of mad though.

Rough translation: "Angry pres gets pissy about sex claims", written to attract attention but intentionally vague so you have to read the story to find out what's going on.

Headline writers are master shitposters and we can all learn from them.

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>>139501390

>>139498342
>being mad at uk tabloids for being entertaining
you jelly medcuck?

>>139501658
Goddamn dick-starved cunts should be force fucked by law to stop their retarded mental cancer.

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>>139498342
Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

>>139501842
Oi I see we have a grumpy rumpy dumpy poo tumplimg down the lumpling not giving a flumping flump about numpin

Glad I took 12 years of English in school so I can comlumping flump with you fagumps

>>139501554
>Rough translation: "Angry pres gets pissy about sex claims", written to attract attention but intentionally vague so you have to read the story to find out what's going on.
that is impressive
I take back what I said about British journalism
all that skill and effort going into something so disposable

>>139501390
>Brit flag
>doesn't know what was on page 3
GTFO proxyfag

>>139498780
>No one reads that shite
Brits say this every time this paper is brought up, but I mean SOMEONE must be reading it.

>>139500285
Did they make a live-action Powerpuff Girls?

>>139502793
Not if it's funded by the state.

>>139502752
It's an actual job. There is a guy who's paid to do nothing but come up with short, catchy headlines.

>>139498699
You owe us 100 billion € anglo scum.

>>139502793

They give it away for free in some places now. The only good thing about it is the double doku... you get not one but TWO sudoku puzzles!

Oh yeah and the dear Dierdre page is sometimes hilarious.

Other than that it's a complete pile of wank though.

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>>139498342

>>139499071
'rumpy pumpy' means sex. I'm sure you can figure out how/why. Just take the Y's off the end.

'hump' also pertains to sex, but 'getting the hump' is also slang for getting angry or frustrated.

Thus the headline means something along the lines of 'Trump is angry about a sex scandal'.

It's actually a really clever headline, in that conveys the theme of the story, is strange enough to grab your attention, and still vague enough to force you to read more to know anything about it.

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>>139500285
dude look like the bad guy from mulan lmao

>>139498342

10/10

>>139503196
only bbc is though

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>>139503348

is this journalism? man it's retarded

>>139499217
>our language
>slurr every other word and completely stop pronouncing the letter r

RUMPFY PUMPFY HUMPFY BTFO!

This is the country that brought us BBC Pidgin, we will be seeing many more such headlines

>>139506174
Not everywhere is America, that's not what this headline conveys to anyone knowledgeable.

>>139506316
I expected better from you though.

>>139500000
Wasted quints.
Sad!

>>139505118
>it's a really clever headline
Only to people with an extra chromosome

>>139501390
even people here know what happened to page 3.

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>>139499436
>>139499137
>>139498342

my sides are in orbit

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>>139498342
t. Burgers can't do BASED British humour

>>139503373
Go eat your shark soup

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>>139500098
t. White Van Anon

>>139508577
Bevanposter.

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>>139508719
Yes tripfag WN lad. Greetings to the cunts on brit/pol. Hope youse are all ok. Rightly So been gone. Take care of Rimmer.

>>139508999
Rimmer got doxed too.

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My personal favourite

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>>139499137

>>139498342
I haven't read a newspaper for years

>>139498342
TOP KEK HAHAHA DRUMPY GET THE RUMPY

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>>139499137
kek my stomach hurts, make it stop.

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>>139511704
>lad
you bongs actually call kids "lads?"

>>139498342
OI FUCKIN RAG INNIT NOT FIT FA THE CHIPPY