If you had a time machine what would you do?

>>138131710
go back in time, seduce my mother and fuck her

Destroy human kind.

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>>138131710
Sell her to the nazis for like 5 cornchips.

>>138131828
Never change monkey

Kill all jews.
Then earth becomes paradise forever.

I would go back to 1058 and tell the king to no accept jews.

>>138131710
I WISHED I COULD SAVE HER IN SOME SORT OF TIME MACHINE

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>>138131710
Do it all over again; go back and rewrite the greatest wrong ever made in history

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>>138131710
go back with a camcorder and show hitler all his mistakes so he could correct them for the lulz

kill ted turner desu

>>138131710
THE ONLY GIRL I'VE EVER LOVED

>>138131710
Okay so here's the deal, I'd pack that time machine full of fucking sperm donor cups and a small freezer, and I'd go back in time to the palaeolithic before the agrarians muddied Europe's gene pool with their dirty basal Eurasian DNA, I'd probably go to North Caucasus/Eurasian Steppes where there was a higher proportion of the Ancient North Eurasian population component, and I'd thoroughly scour the timeline for every instance in which a man was left alone to die so that me doing this shit wouldn't alter the timeline at all, I'd get out quick as soon as his other hunter-gatherer buddies had left him to die, jerk him off into one of the donor cups, and put it in the freezer in the time machine. And I'd just continuously shuttle back all this palaeolithic sperm and donate it to sperm banks because... desu I don't know, I just picked the idea up and ran with it but I'm starting to see the flaws involved in having to repeatedly give dying men handjobs.

Go back and fix all the shit I fucked up in and do all the things I missed out on.

Stop you from making these threads

kill either marx or principe

>>138132632
Yeah personally I would tell him not to trust Himmler. Himmler was shifty as fuck if I'm honest.
I'd also tell him not to make Hess deputy fuhrer. I respect Hess, and I get they were close pals, but things might have turned out differently if Hitler had appointed Goering as deputy from the start.

Stand in for Goliath. shoot David in the face.

>use time machine to make ungodly amounts of money on the stock market
>exchange money for gold
>go back to western expansion of the US and buy a state sized piece of land in central US
>build gigantic wall forever barring non-whites from entering

Relive the 40s

go back to 1910ish.... prevent central banks from taking over

>>138132807
You have a fucking time machine and your first plan of attack is giving cavemen handjobs. Sounds progressive af

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>>138132934
Well done sir. Well done.

>>138131710
Looks shoop'd
Is this real?

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>>138131710
>Tell Napoleon when to time his invasion of England so storm doesn't fuck his shit up
>Go to Tsar Nicholas' exile cabin, murder and him and guards and rape his daughters
>do some sports betting decades in the past and put that money in a savings account
>invest in Microsoft
>travel to future to get immortality Natoma chines
>travel to ancient Greece to fuck hairy women and raise a family in the hills
>go back to future and live like a king for a while in pre-9/11 USA off my investments and savings
>travel bearing fantastic gifts to the courts of philosopher kings throughout history and bask in splendor
>fuck young cleopatra and nefertiti
>warn JFK
>warn Hitler about reclaring war on poland, so not to ruin white pride for eternity
>warn 4th crusade powers about sacking Constantinople
>warn the Pope about Martin Luther
>warn everyone convincingly about trump during republican primary

>>138131710
I want her to sit on my face after a piss so I can suck her pissy flaps. I'm going to burn myself with a cigarette lighter again. I lust for pissy Anne.

>>138133772
*immortality nanomachines
>prevent myself from phoneposting

probably try to look at some neat ancient cities in their prime and accidentally infect them with a deadly plague from the future. it's a good thing i don't have a time machine

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>>138133819
Read post, think "what the shit?". Look at flag, realize everything is okay.

Carry on.

>>138131710
Don't care

post more anne

>go back to the genesis of anatomically modern humans
>fuck everything that moves
>return to present day
>everyone's autistic

>>138133927
right, and who made those nanomachines? was it an establishment corporation? was it them? and you trust this not to rewire your brain in some horrid way?

faith in tech is neckbeard euphoria and a naive larp, nothing more. the tech from these people will destroy us.

oh if only that were not the case, it could have been nice, that kind of technology. but it can only come from them, for now.

put it in PC so i get more fps on GTA V max settings

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>>138134332
Why trust the time machine then?

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>>138134254
Holy shit, so time travel is possible!?

>>138131710
Stop the kebabs from getting that oil land.

>>138134669
that is a good point. i suppose i wouldn't. it's probably not even a real time machine and it just carves your brain out and plugs you in, drops you into a fantasy world of time travel where you get tortured by vr space goblins or something.

or it is real and they straight up know there's no way of using it without breaking reality

>>138131710
Go back and prevent the girl I loved from killing herself.

Or I would just go and experience what America looked like in the 1950's

>>138133772
Sounds like you've got the best ideas to me. Except for one
>warn everyone convincingly about trump during republican primary
Who would be the other option?

>>138133772
>Go back in time and magically become an elite psycho-mecha-operator and murder a bunch of royal guards alone
Be honest, how old are you? No way you're a day over 15.

>>138131710
i'd save anne frank so in the aeroplane over the sea would never happen

>>138136288
We're talking about what we would do if we had a time machine dude, we need to be fucking serious?

>>138133772
If you simply get bitcoin and hold it for 7 years you could turn 1000$ to 42 bill

>>138131710
people always say they'd go back in time and kill Hitler.
well I'd go back in time to save Hitler, from himself really

>>138136434
yeah dude
you couldn't pull off half that shit you were talking about. try to be realistic. you are not dr who

>>138135186
so let's say you accomplished this task and saved the girl you loved. more than likely she'd just be creeped out that you wasted your ONE time machine wish on her stupid cunt ass and she'd keep her vagina as far away from you as possible. you'd be her friend, sure. but she'd fuck every other Chad she meets and laugh at you behind your back

>>138137215
>ONE time machine wish
dude, OP said we have a fucking time machine, not a fucking genie. where is it implied that we only get one use?

>>138131710
tell hitler how to prevent losing.

>>138131710
Correct my fuck-ups

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I ship em so hard!!!

>>138136717
I'm not that guy but no shit dude, we're talking about having a hypothetical time machine

>>138136288
>i have no imagination
You sound like a boring person

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>>138131710
Go back and give Adolf Hitler several AR15s and instructions on how to make more in the mid 1930s.

>>138131710
Try be less autistic and says yes to going to the middle school dance with the qt that had huge tits. I didn't think she was serious.

>>138137215
You got it all wrong bro. This was a girl I had been dating for a long time. We were going to move in together and planned on marriage. We dated for 5 years, she was depressed but it was really hard to tell just how much it was eating away at her. Basically she got abused by her uncle when she was younger and never talked about it, then moved with her dad and it turned out by some coincidence she moved to the SAME town her uncle had moved into after getting out of prison. He came to their house trying to reconcile and talk to the family. She freaked the fuck out after seeing he was somehow back in her life, got scared and swallowed a bottle of pills. No idea why

We were supposed to get an apartment together some time soon before that happened. Yeah if I had one use of a time machine it would be to save her. My life sucks now because I've been depressed ever since

Convince primitive river side civilizations that I'm a god. Go back to present day and see my face in all the historic records. Mostly beating people to the stuff they did, thus every single "hero" is actually me.

>>138138367
wow you're such a faggot

>>138138295
You should give him something more powerful than AR-15s like plans to the nuke or something

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>>138131710
Buy Bitcoin at $0.003
Buy Ethereum at $0.10

>>138138777
Nah bro, I just have the absolute worst luck

>>138138295
>implying that would make any difference

Giving computer parts or missile schematics would be much better.

also tell him that his JET FIGHTER IS A FIGHTER NOT A BOMBER DONT BE FUCKING RETARDED

>>138131710

Make sure she appeared in at least a dozen jewish pornography movies throughout the 30's.

Sell her to the arabs for $20

>>138136096
I liked Jeb because you just know he'd come into office with a tested team of subject matter experts, and with governing experience. He leads by consensus. Rubio was OK too

>>138131710
Buy up cheap German real estate after they're BTFO for the second time.

>>138139569
>jeb
>rubio

They're both neo cons. It would be another Bush presidency and Rubio and Jeb both love Hispanics and would probably allow even more immigration from Mexico

I pick Drumpf instead even with all his flaws. At the very least he shakes up the system a little bit

>>138131710
go back in time and kill myself before i die inside

>>138139934
I'm left wondering how much war and global instability we might end up with under president trump, but you might be proven right

Kill Lenin.

>>138131828
Brazil never disappoints.

Me, I kill Gavrilo Princip and try to stop WW1 so (((liberal democracy))) doesn't take root in Europe and whites don't die for nothing.

>>138131710
Sabotage America

>>138131710
push my pregnant mother down the stairs

>>138139852
Found the jew.

I would go back in time and kill Lenin, Marx, Engles, the motherfucker who signed the Federal Reserve Act, Franklin Roosevelt, JFK, Lyndon Baines Johnson, the head of every single television network and newspaper, Timothy Leary , Hillary's husband, all the lefist judges in the USA, all the famous left wing ideologues in academia, and the world's most famous mulatto, all when they were kids. Who did I leave out?

>>138137687
Awww.

>>138131710
Kill Marx in his crib 1st and foremost

>>138140231
>I'm left wondering how much war and global instability we might end up with under president trump, but you might be proven right

Well so far other than some saber-rattling with North Korea we haven't gotten into a war yet and global conflicts aren't being caused everywhere by the U.S. so that's good.

Under Jeb and Rubio it would pretty much just be the Republican establishment in the white house so war would be more likely. Although without Bannon encouraging Trump to be isolationist your fears may come true soon, hopefully not though

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>>138132807
>time machine
>goes around giving medical handjobs to dying cavemen

Reevaluate your life my son

>>138138692
Cut in line at the declaration of independence, now everyone is asked for their "Terrence E. Woczincski" when signing important documents.

>>138131710
Win every large lottery one jackpot before it was supposed to win and hunting down every large winning scratcher also, thus becoming the "luckiest" billionaire.

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>>138131710
No need for a time machine, we already have pic related

>>138131710
Id go back in time to when nelson mandela was still a boy in a villiage, I'd catch him and hang him in a tree.

>>138131710
Make sure the good guys won ww2. Also make sure it happened early before America entered the war.

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I think I would shoot Ho Chi Minh. There are worse dictators, I guess, but I would choose him for dressing like an autistic manchild.

>>138138990
fucking kek

definitely this is the plan:

1. go into the future and get a 16k gopro holographic camera, and pick up a few thousand rounds of genetic VR bullets

2.drive my monster truck through the portal to medina in 850.

3. grab mohammend and chain him to the back of the truck.

4. drive slowly at first, then speed up until the prophet can't keep up

5. drag the prophet with all his followers to see, filming it on 15000x9000, focused on the prophets facial expressions of agony and terror as he realizes his coming fate.

6. drage him in circles around his followers, until they were enclosed in his blood, meat, and entrails.

7. shoot all his followers with the virtual reality genetic bullets so that each one got all 6 senses of mohammeds terror as they slept every night, for infinite generations to come.

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>>138133266
correct answer

>>138141438
>says she's a lesbian
>Anne Frank has had lesbian thoughts
like pottery

>>138142000

triple zeros, bitches.

>>138140317
>>138131920
if you guys saw her you would too.

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>>138142000
Checked and keked

>>138142397
Why do you need to go back in time to do it then? Do it now

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>>138131828
Pic pls, finna fap namean?

>>138131710
i'd start false flag attacks against white settlers in africa, prompting an ethnic cleansing of the continent in retaliation.

can you imagine a world without niggers?

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>>138142220
They're like literal clones of each other. I bet Anne Frank would've been an SJW commie today

>>138142504
i don't feel attracted to her now
but i saw some pics of her when she was young
mamma kurwa, imagine a mix between slavs and italians that totally worked

>>138143433
Should go back in time and fuck her and give yourself a brother-son when you go back to the present.

>pre-WW1 Germany
>Tell them to create the stahlhelm before the war starts
>Belgium will not let then you pass
>Russia will be a week early to the war
>Use unrestricted submarine warfare from the start, fuck the US they will fuck you in the end.
>Tell them to develop the tank now, and focus on tank warfare, show them ww2 tactics
>Kill Lenin
I swear there was more but I can't recall

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>>138131828
fpbp

but why not Grandma?

>>138141438
>>138143160
Who's that?

>>138141438
>>138143160
stop posting my gf please

>>138131710
Go back in time and fuck myself in the ass just like that dude that claimed he was me did when I was younger

>>138131854
This

>>138143433
Uma delicia

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>>138132084
>>138132708
>>138136382

>>138143843
but then i would be retarded
is there any chance my father is actually me and now i'm stuck on this loophole forever??????????

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>>138132807

kek, best bong post I've read in a while.

turn her in before she didn't write her diary

>>138143884
You know I often think of this. When it comes to both world wars we here on /pol/ often fantasize what it would be like if Germany won either one. We expect the world would be better if the Central Powers won or if the Nazis won, and we believe this because of how cucked our current timeline is. But think of this for a second

What if somehow Germany would have become massively cucked in the same way the West is now? What if the German hegemony after the first world war experiences multiple social revolutions that advocate for less imperialist and conservative policies and it somehow leads to mass immigration, rampant degeneracy, and the decline of the West. Instead of democracy and capitalism being taken over by these social reforms and counter culture it would just be fascism failing.

Is the West destined for cucking?

>>138144555
Nah I mean you could fuck her before she had you and get an older brother that is actually your son too, and it would really freak your mom out because she would see you and think to herself "gee he really grew up to look like that guy I fucked 24 years ago"

Do you know your dad? He could be you man

>>138144918
germany had a ministry of culture and much of our tech was from nazi scientists

it's not that we wouldn't have discovered any of it, but germany would have discovered it, too.

germany wouldn't have reached the state it's in today. we'd only be on the 2nd or 3rd führer of the 3rd reich

>>138131828
Nice

>>138143433
Fucking deliver than faggot, need to fap

>>138131710
Go back in time to the fifties, make some money (betting on sports...yes I'm going there, but under the table and not making much), buy gold....like a fuck ton.

Buy full auto guns.

Come back to present, sell off some gold. Buy prepping supplies. Take time machine to future to see how shit unfolds.

Prepare accordingly.

>>138132807
What if it was the Middle Eastern farmer DNA that created modern Europeans, the important part?

Plus even if these old cavemen Europeans were smart, I doubt that importing 5000+ year old DNA from men that have never heard of civilization being a good idea

>>138145320
not possible. her young photos album is in her room and she's sleeping there.

>>138137687
The judleins really do make wwii about only these two.

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>>138131710
I'd go back in time and stop Eddie Blake from killing Jfk.

>>138131710
I'd go back to see what the Bible meant by this. I think it means cum: "And as soon as the lad was gone, David arose out of a place toward the south, and fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times: and they kissed one another, and wept one with another, until David exceeded"
>exceeded
>in tears
Dick tears maybe

Wish we could turn back time,
to the good ol’ days,
When our momma sang us to sleep but now we’re stressed out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXRviuL6vMY

>>138145713
My nigga... Get in there, get the album, take some pics just in case I wanna switch to milf and you could even try for creep shots. If she wakes you say that you just wanted the album. 10/10 Insta fame

The magazine at the cash register at the supermarket just had her ugly pointy face on the cover. Yeah, decades old propaganda and her father got sued by the ghostwriter of her fake diarrhea.

>>138131828
Fuck this guy's mom

i tell pre-revolutionist to leave niggers in africa

>>138131710
Give Karl Marx's mom a free abortion. Also give one to Engels' just to be sure.

>>138144353
This

>>138145556
>>>138132807
>I doubt that importing 5000+ year old DNA from men that have never heard of civilization being a good idea
Tell that to Germany, that's their entire immigration policy.

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>>138132807

>>138146413
Same here man, lets hope he delivers cause im chocking it nigga. Hell might even make a thread in /b/ and invite yall so that we can tribute

>>138131710
I'm not sure yet, but you can be damn sure it wouldn't be this disgusting smelly JEW.

>>138146928
You don't know what you're talking about. Kike pussy rocks and you can do whatever the fuck you want with them

>>138146014
Read a modern translation retard

Kill All crackers in the 13 colonies for the spanish empire

>>138131710
i would go to 5000 BC to kill Abraham, making a World without jews.

or go to 1930s and give Hitler all Modern Day Military Technology.

or investing in some Big Business like Microsoft or Apple.

or Killing Obama when he was a Toddler.

or Saving the Titanic.

or...

nah... just kill Abraham and solve all Worlds Problems before they would happen.

>>138147456
Stay butthurt beaner

>>138132807
god save the queen, because it's already too late for my sides